1
00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:03,693
Here's what you missed
on Glee: Regionals is coming up
2
00:00:03,761 --> 00:00:05,128
and Jessie's left the glee
club, and though it seems like
3
00:00:06,264 --> 00:00:07,831
which is confusing.
4
00:00:07,899 --> 00:00:10,200
I think I kind of like her.
I don't want her to get hurt.
5
00:00:10,268 --> 00:00:12,736
Quinn's preggo and feels like
she's totally alone.
6
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,771
And Sue won't leave Will alone
as the poor guy's trying
7
00:00:14,839 --> 00:00:15,939
to get over divorcing
his terrible wife, Terri.
8
00:00:16,007 --> 00:00:17,407
I mean, she's not terrible.
9
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,109
She's just kind of...
you know, terrible.
10
00:00:19,177 --> 00:00:21,387
Sorry.
And that's what you missed on Glee.
11
00:00:23,448 --> 00:00:24,981
{bell ringing}
12
00:00:25,049 --> 00:00:26,416
MERCEDES: Is it just me,
or does it feel like
13
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:28,051
we have a real shot at
Regionals next month?
14
00:00:28,119 --> 00:00:29,886
The Ohio Show Choir chat rooms
have all been buzzing
15
00:00:29,954 --> 00:00:31,555
about how Vocal Adrenaline
has lost a step.
16
00:00:31,622 --> 00:00:33,423
I agree-- the judges know
all of their tricks
17
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:34,691
and now that we have Jessie,
18
00:00:34,759 --> 00:00:36,293
they've lost
their best performer.
19
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,629
You guys have to come to the
auditorium-- it's an emergency!
20
00:00:39,697 --> 00:00:41,198
{bell ringing}
21
00:00:45,703 --> 00:00:48,472
Jessie?
22
00:00:48,539 --> 00:00:50,707
What are you doing
up there with them?
23
00:00:50,775 --> 00:00:52,976
I've transferred back
to Carmel High, Rachel.
24
00:00:53,044 --> 00:00:54,845
I'm sorry that
it's come to this,
25
00:00:54,912 --> 00:00:57,080
but you guys were awful to me.
26
00:00:57,148 --> 00:00:58,515
You never accepted me,
27
00:00:58,583 --> 00:01:00,717
you never listened
to my clearly superior ideas.
28
00:01:00,785 --> 00:01:03,053
Why are you here
in our auditorium?
29
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:04,654
The blogs and the chat rooms
say that we're finished,
30
00:01:04,722 --> 00:01:06,323
and that you guys are ripe
to topple us.
31
00:01:06,390 --> 00:01:07,557
We just wanted to show you
32
00:01:07,625 --> 00:01:09,993
a something we came up with
a few days ago
33
00:01:10,061 --> 00:01:12,195
to see if you agree
with that assessment.
34
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:19,369
{bass line to "Another One
Bites the Dust" playing}
35
00:01:20,571 --> 00:01:22,005
¶¶Bom-bom-bom ¶¶
36
00:01:22,073 --> 00:01:25,075
Ooh, let's go.
37
00:01:25,142 --> 00:01:26,276
¶¶Steve walks warily
down the street ¶¶
38
00:01:26,344 --> 00:01:28,278
¶¶With the brim pulled
way down low ¶¶
39
00:01:28,346 --> 00:01:30,714
¶¶Ain't no sound
but the sound of his feet ¶¶
40
00:01:30,781 --> 00:01:32,716
¶¶Machine gun's ready to go ¶¶
41
00:01:32,783 --> 00:01:34,451
¶¶Are you ready? ¶¶
¶¶Hey ¶¶
42
00:01:34,519 --> 00:01:36,186
¶¶Are you ready for this? ¶¶
43
00:01:36,254 --> 00:01:37,888
¶¶Are you hanging on
the edge of your seat? ¶¶
44
00:01:37,955 --> 00:01:39,623
¶¶Out of the doorway
the bullets rip ¶¶
45
00:01:39,690 --> 00:01:42,225
¶¶To the sound of the beat ¶¶
¶¶Yeah ¶¶
46
00:01:42,293 --> 00:01:43,693
¶¶Bom-bom-bom ¶¶
47
00:01:43,761 --> 00:01:45,629
¶¶Another one bites the dust ¶¶
48
00:01:45,696 --> 00:01:48,231
¶¶Bom-bom-bom ¶¶
49
00:01:48,299 --> 00:01:50,500
¶¶Another one bites the dust ¶¶
50
00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:53,336
¶¶How do you think
I'm gonna get along ¶¶
51
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:54,905
¶¶Without you
when you're gone? ¶¶
52
00:01:54,972 --> 00:01:57,073
¶¶You took me for everything
that I had ¶¶
53
00:01:57,141 --> 00:01:59,242
¶¶And kicked me out
on my own ¶¶
54
00:01:59,310 --> 00:02:00,610
¶¶Are you happy? ¶¶
55
00:02:00,678 --> 00:02:02,078
¶¶Are you satisfied? ¶¶
56
00:02:02,146 --> 00:02:03,513
¶¶How long can you
stand the heat? ¶¶
57
00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,849
¶¶Out of the doorway
the bullets rip ¶¶
58
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,385
¶¶To the sound of the beat,
look out ¶¶
59
00:02:08,452 --> 00:02:09,920
¶¶Bom-bom-bom ¶¶
60
00:02:09,987 --> 00:02:12,122
¶¶Another one bites the dust. ¶¶
61
00:02:12,189 --> 00:02:13,390
{song ends}
62
00:02:16,727 --> 00:02:19,095
Thanks for letting us
borrow your auditorium, guys.
63
00:02:19,163 --> 00:02:20,330
It's quaint.
64
00:02:20,398 --> 00:02:22,032
{laughing}
65
00:02:25,069 --> 00:02:27,504
{sighs}
66
00:02:34,478 --> 00:02:36,313
{bell ringing}
67
00:02:36,380 --> 00:02:38,248
ARTIE:
It's a Carmel High tradition.
68
00:02:38,316 --> 00:02:40,817
They psych out the competition
a few weeks before the big show.
69
00:02:40,885 --> 00:02:42,619
They call it a funkification.
70
00:02:42,687 --> 00:02:44,154
Meaning they show us
what they've got,
71
00:02:44,221 --> 00:02:45,989
and we spiral
into a deep black funk.
72
00:02:46,057 --> 00:02:47,591
Yeah. Yeah, we used to do
the same thing
73
00:02:47,658 --> 00:02:49,159
to other football teams.
74
00:02:49,226 --> 00:02:50,727
You know, try and get inside
their head before a big game,
75
00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:52,495
pull little pranks
to intimidate them.
76
00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:54,631
Yeah, well, the difference was
our football team sucked.
77
00:02:54,699 --> 00:02:55,899
Those guys are golden.
78
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,500
KURT: Come on, keep
your heads up, guys.
79
00:02:57,568 --> 00:02:58,635
It's going to take
more than that
80
00:02:58,703 --> 00:03:00,904
to get us into a funk.
81
00:03:08,412 --> 00:03:10,046
TINA:
I feel so violated.
82
00:03:10,114 --> 00:03:11,948
It's like someone
broke into our home.
83
00:03:12,016 --> 00:03:14,117
Look, it was just
a lame little prank.
84
00:03:14,185 --> 00:03:15,785
And the fact that they're
trying to get to us
85
00:03:15,853 --> 00:03:17,754
means maybe we
got them spooked.
86
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:20,090
Uh-uh, Mr. Shue.
They aren't afraid of anything.
87
00:03:20,157 --> 00:03:22,225
That number they did
was fantastic.
88
00:03:22,293 --> 00:03:23,660
You know, which doesn't
make any sense.
89
00:03:23,728 --> 00:03:24,761
They had all that equipment.
90
00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:25,962
How did they even get in?
91
00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:27,097
I gave 'em all keys.
92
00:03:27,164 --> 00:03:28,298
Helped them do a sound check
93
00:03:28,366 --> 00:03:30,200
over the weekend.
94
00:03:30,267 --> 00:03:31,635
Hey, this way, fellas.
95
00:03:31,702 --> 00:03:33,303
Let's punch out this wall here.
96
00:03:33,371 --> 00:03:35,805
That'll open up the space a little bit.
Sue, what are you doing?
97
00:03:35,873 --> 00:03:37,273
I can't talk to you now,
William.
98
00:03:37,341 --> 00:03:39,442
Drafting class is helping me
redecorate around here.
99
00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:41,144
You see, I have Nationals
over the weekend,
100
00:03:41,212 --> 00:03:42,912
and I expect to return
with a comically large
101
00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:44,214
first place trophy for which
102
00:03:44,281 --> 00:03:46,583
I have absolutely no room
in my trophy case.
103
00:03:46,651 --> 00:03:48,585
As soon as you hurry up
and lose at Regionals,
104
00:03:48,653 --> 00:03:51,321
this choir room will become
my official trophy annex.
105
00:03:51,389 --> 00:03:53,256
You know what it
has to look like?
106
00:03:53,324 --> 00:03:56,726
Elvis' gold record
room at Graceland.
107
00:03:56,794 --> 00:03:58,728
Except I'll be wanting
far fewer morbidly obese
108
00:03:58,796 --> 00:04:00,764
white women waddling
around and crying.
109
00:04:00,831 --> 00:04:02,432
Sue, get out of my room.
110
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:05,402
Glee Clubbers, for you those
of you whose hearing
111
00:04:05,469 --> 00:04:09,305
has not been damaged by massive
doses of Acutane, listen up.
112
00:04:09,373 --> 00:04:11,675
In a few weeks,
Glee Club will be finished.
113
00:04:11,742 --> 00:04:13,109
Now how do I know that?
114
00:04:13,177 --> 00:04:15,745
Well, I recently checked
the odds with my Vegas bookie,
115
00:04:15,813 --> 00:04:19,282
who told me that you're 40-1
underdogs at Regionals.
116
00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:20,984
You are going to lose,
and your dreams
117
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,052
will be crushed.
118
00:04:22,119 --> 00:04:23,687
Sue, can I see your trophy?
119
00:04:23,754 --> 00:04:24,921
Sure, Will.
120
00:04:24,989 --> 00:04:25,955
Hope and dream.
121
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:33,029
You dropped your trophy, Sue.
122
00:04:33,097 --> 00:04:35,632
You know, for me,
trophies are like herpes.
123
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:38,735
You can try to get rid of them,
but they just keep coming.
124
00:04:38,803 --> 00:04:40,437
You know why?
125
00:04:40,504 --> 00:04:43,873
Sue Sylvester has hourly
flare-ups of burning, itchy,
126
00:04:43,941 --> 00:04:45,308
highly contagious talent.
127
00:04:45,376 --> 00:04:46,609
Enjoy your last few days here.
128
00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:49,279
This room is mine.
129
00:04:49,346 --> 00:04:53,850
{bell ringing}
130
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,351
So you sign here,
131
00:04:55,419 --> 00:04:58,421
and here.
132
00:04:58,489 --> 00:05:01,691
And you sign here and here.
133
00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:06,262
{pens clicking}
134
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:14,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
135
00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:26,216
{pens scribbling}
136
00:05:27,418 --> 00:05:29,519
{clearing throat}
137
00:05:29,587 --> 00:05:33,123
Well...
138
00:05:33,190 --> 00:05:34,991
By the power vested in me
by the bar association
139
00:05:35,059 --> 00:05:37,494
of the great State of Ohio,
140
00:05:37,561 --> 00:05:40,597
I know pronounce you
no longer husband and wife.
141
00:05:40,664 --> 00:05:42,565
Mazel tov.
142
00:05:46,003 --> 00:05:49,038
{door closing}
143
00:06:01,318 --> 00:06:04,053
You're still that
16-year-old boy to me.
144
00:06:05,356 --> 00:06:07,223
You always will be.
145
00:06:21,505 --> 00:06:22,939
{door closing}
146
00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:25,275
{bell ringing}
147
00:06:25,342 --> 00:06:29,045
All right, guys, today I want
to talk to you about regrets.
148
00:06:29,113 --> 00:06:30,413
Who has some?
149
00:06:30,481 --> 00:06:33,149
Giving my heart to Jessie,
just to have it crushed
150
00:06:33,217 --> 00:06:35,084
like the stage floor
at a performance of Stomp.
151
00:06:35,152 --> 00:06:38,087
Thinking "trust me" was
a sensible birth control option.
152
00:06:38,155 --> 00:06:39,255
We all have them.
153
00:06:39,323 --> 00:06:41,324
I just finalized my divorce.
154
00:06:41,392 --> 00:06:42,158
I regret
living in a relationship
155
00:06:42,226 --> 00:06:43,860
that wasn't working.
156
00:06:43,928 --> 00:06:46,729
Letting her put me
in these deep funks
157
00:06:46,797 --> 00:06:48,198
and not fighting back.
158
00:06:48,265 --> 00:06:51,134
Besides creeping us out,
why are you telling us this?
159
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:54,804
Because if we lose to
Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals,
160
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,206
none of us are
going to regret it.
161
00:06:56,273 --> 00:06:57,373
We will have given
it our best shot
162
00:06:57,441 --> 00:06:59,142
and we won't look back.
163
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,711
But we will regret letting them
get the best of us
164
00:07:01,779 --> 00:07:03,246
before the competition.
165
00:07:03,314 --> 00:07:06,049
Which is why we need to hit them
back just like they hit us.
166
00:07:06,116 --> 00:07:10,286
So you want us
to TP their choir room?
167
00:07:10,354 --> 00:07:12,789
Whatever the better,
cooler version of that is.
168
00:07:12,857 --> 00:07:16,559
Like, uh, maybe-maybe we should
steal their school statue.
169
00:07:16,627 --> 00:07:18,027
Their school statue
170
00:07:18,095 --> 00:07:21,531
is a giant bronze of a great
white shark eating a seal pup.
171
00:07:22,867 --> 00:07:24,300
It weighs three tons.
172
00:07:24,368 --> 00:07:25,702
Okay, how about this one.
173
00:07:25,769 --> 00:07:27,503
All right, we get like...
174
00:07:27,571 --> 00:07:29,305
PUCK: Everyone knows this
is going to come down to me.
175
00:07:29,373 --> 00:07:32,976
Revenge, fear, the merciless
infliction of pain.
176
00:07:33,043 --> 00:07:35,211
These are my kingdoms.
177
00:07:35,279 --> 00:07:38,481
First time I gave a wedgie
to a kid, I was four years old.
178
00:07:38,549 --> 00:07:41,284
Finn and I may still hate
each other for some reason,
179
00:07:41,352 --> 00:07:44,587
but we both know that defending
the honor of New Directions
180
00:07:44,655 --> 00:07:46,856
is going to be our dirty job.
181
00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:48,725
{dog barking in distance}
182
00:07:48,792 --> 00:07:50,627
{hissing}
183
00:07:54,732 --> 00:07:55,965
Yeah, I did it.
184
00:07:56,033 --> 00:07:58,368
And I'm proud. All I did
was step up and be a man.
185
00:07:58,435 --> 00:08:00,169
They got what was coming
to them.
186
00:08:00,237 --> 00:08:01,371
A few of my students
TP'd your choir room.
187
00:08:01,438 --> 00:08:03,606
You slashed the tires
on the Range Rovers
188
00:08:03,674 --> 00:08:06,242
of all 26 of my performers.
189
00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:07,477
Those were gifts for
our win at Sectionals.
190
00:08:07,544 --> 00:08:08,678
That's 200 times 26
191
00:08:08,746 --> 00:08:09,946
times four equals...
192
00:08:10,014 --> 00:08:11,681
I don't have a calculator.
193
00:08:11,749 --> 00:08:13,650
I'm sorry, you bought
all your kids Range Rovers?
194
00:08:13,717 --> 00:08:15,018
We have a very active
booster club.
195
00:08:15,085 --> 00:08:16,286
Look, nobody got hurt.
196
00:08:16,353 --> 00:08:17,921
It was a harmless prank.
197
00:08:17,988 --> 00:08:20,023
SUE: That's what they said
about a young man in Chicago
198
00:08:20,090 --> 00:08:21,858
in 1871, who thought he'd
play a harmless prank
199
00:08:21,926 --> 00:08:24,727
on the dairy cow of
one Mrs. O'Leary.
200
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:26,462
He successfully
ignited its flatulence
201
00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:27,897
and a city burned, William.
202
00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:29,499
That young terrorist
went on to become
203
00:08:29,566 --> 00:08:32,368
the first gay president
of the United States,
204
00:08:32,436 --> 00:08:33,503
Abraham Lincoln.
Enough.
205
00:08:33,570 --> 00:08:35,438
These students
have committed a felony.
206
00:08:35,506 --> 00:08:37,240
They are hereby expelled.
207
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:41,210
Look, I don't want anyone
to get expelled.
208
00:08:41,278 --> 00:08:42,946
I'm not going
to press charges...
209
00:08:43,013 --> 00:08:44,914
as long as you pay
for the damage.
210
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:46,883
You can take it out
of the glee club budget.
211
00:08:46,951 --> 00:08:48,017
That'll bankrupt the glee club.
212
00:08:48,085 --> 00:08:49,419
We don't have that kind
of money.
213
00:08:49,486 --> 00:08:50,520
We'll get jobs.
214
00:08:50,587 --> 00:08:52,021
Give us a month.
215
00:08:52,089 --> 00:08:53,289
We'll pay you back,
216
00:08:53,357 --> 00:08:54,824
Ms. Corcoran, I promise.
217
00:08:54,892 --> 00:08:56,693
Fine.
218
00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,862
Ms. Corcoran, you are
as wise and magnanimous
219
00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:01,064
as you are beautiful.
220
00:09:03,634 --> 00:09:07,170
Thank you.
221
00:09:07,237 --> 00:09:08,705
Well, you just can't
win, can you, William?
222
00:09:08,772 --> 00:09:11,641
You never have,
and you never will.
223
00:09:17,004 --> 00:09:19,806
Are you want to take a trip down that
rabbit hole, William?
224
00:09:19,874 --> 00:09:21,741
I'm willing to try
anything, Sandy.
225
00:09:21,809 --> 00:09:24,277
I'm just really depressed.
226
00:09:24,345 --> 00:09:26,179
I don't sell to the
clinically depressed.
227
00:09:26,247 --> 00:09:28,014
You'll throw yourself
off a parking garage
228
00:09:28,082 --> 00:09:30,350
and I can't have that
on my conscience.
229
00:09:30,417 --> 00:09:32,318
I used to coach that glee club.
230
00:09:32,386 --> 00:09:34,754
I know what you're up against.
231
00:09:34,822 --> 00:09:37,790
You think Carmel High didn't
put the fear of God in me?
232
00:09:37,858 --> 00:09:40,326
I don't know how we
can possibly beat them.
233
00:09:40,394 --> 00:09:42,495
Glee is hanging by a thread.
234
00:09:42,563 --> 00:09:46,633
William, the answer is
right in front of your face,
235
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:48,601
but you can't see it
because you're in
236
00:09:48,669 --> 00:09:49,903
too big of a funk.
237
00:09:49,970 --> 00:09:54,674
Vocal Adrenaline
has a weakness.
238
00:09:54,742 --> 00:09:57,410
{bell ringing}
239
00:09:57,478 --> 00:09:58,945
Funk.
240
00:09:59,013 --> 00:10:00,613
Use it in a sentence.
241
00:10:00,681 --> 00:10:01,781
Come on.
242
00:10:01,849 --> 00:10:03,616
Rachel.
243
00:10:03,684 --> 00:10:05,985
This cheese smells funky.
244
00:10:06,053 --> 00:10:07,186
That's because
it's "from-unda" cheese.
245
00:10:07,254 --> 00:10:08,421
Shut it, Puckerman!
246
00:10:08,489 --> 00:10:09,889
Okay, okay.
247
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:11,724
I was thinking more
along the lines of...
248
00:10:11,792 --> 00:10:13,860
Vocal Adrenaline has sure
put us all in a funk.
249
00:10:13,928 --> 00:10:16,195
I'm so depressed, I've worn
the same outfit twice this week.
250
00:10:16,263 --> 00:10:17,764
What if I told you
251
00:10:17,831 --> 00:10:19,999
I knew how we could shove it
right back down their throats?
252
00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:21,301
New Directions is about
253
00:10:21,368 --> 00:10:23,670
to make their funk the P-Funk.
254
00:10:23,737 --> 00:10:25,939
We are going to get funked up.
255
00:10:26,006 --> 00:10:28,641
The only way to do that
is to beat them at Regionals.
256
00:10:28,709 --> 00:10:31,110
Vocal Adrenaline has never once
done a funk number.
257
00:10:31,178 --> 00:10:33,579
They're a machine,
a collective, synthesized,
258
00:10:33,647 --> 00:10:36,115
soulless beat.
259
00:10:36,183 --> 00:10:37,951
Funk is soul meets anger.
260
00:10:38,018 --> 00:10:39,919
Its passion is in its emotion.
261
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:42,221
And Vocal Adrenaline doesn't
perform with any.
262
00:10:42,289 --> 00:10:44,090
So you have your assignment.
263
00:10:44,158 --> 00:10:46,659
I want you guys
to turn McKinley High into...
264
00:10:46,727 --> 00:10:48,561
¶¶Funky town! ¶¶
265
00:10:48,629 --> 00:10:51,464
You guys can relax,
I got this one covered.
266
00:10:51,532 --> 00:10:52,699
Cool.
267
00:10:52,766 --> 00:10:53,900
Hold on a second.
268
00:10:53,968 --> 00:10:55,134
I-I want a chance
to get funky, too.
269
00:10:55,202 --> 00:10:56,669
{laughter}
270
00:10:57,805 --> 00:10:59,605
{laughing}:
Good one, Quinn.
271
00:10:59,673 --> 00:11:01,274
It even sounds funny
when you say it.
272
00:11:01,342 --> 00:11:04,077
You said funk
was about soul and anger.
273
00:11:04,144 --> 00:11:05,478
I have plenty of both.
274
00:11:05,546 --> 00:11:07,380
Look at me. Look at my life.
275
00:11:07,448 --> 00:11:08,448
I'm furious!
276
00:11:08,515 --> 00:11:09,615
MERCEDES:
Let's be honest.
277
00:11:09,683 --> 00:11:10,984
When white people try
to be funky,
278
00:11:11,051 --> 00:11:13,987
you end up with KC
and the Sunshine Band.
279
00:11:14,054 --> 00:11:15,088
I love "Boogie Shoes."
280
00:11:15,155 --> 00:11:16,856
Mercedes' racism aside,
281
00:11:16,924 --> 00:11:19,559
I will have something prepared
tomorrow.
282
00:11:19,626 --> 00:11:21,394
All right, Quinn goes first.
283
00:11:22,429 --> 00:11:24,564
{bell ringing}
284
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,868
Rachel, can I see you
in my office?
285
00:11:30,204 --> 00:11:32,605
You seem to be taking
this Jessie thing pretty hard.
286
00:11:32,673 --> 00:11:34,941
I want him to be eaten
by a lion.
287
00:11:35,009 --> 00:11:36,476
{sighs}
Jessie, cared about you.
288
00:11:36,543 --> 00:11:37,944
No, he didn't.
289
00:11:38,012 --> 00:11:40,613
Our entire relationship
was just some diabolical plan.
290
00:11:40,681 --> 00:11:42,448
They knew if they broke my heart
291
00:11:42,516 --> 00:11:43,516
close enough
to the competition,
292
00:11:43,584 --> 00:11:45,218
that I'd lose my will to live,
293
00:11:45,285 --> 00:11:47,086
and then New Directions
would have no chance
294
00:11:47,154 --> 00:11:48,421
at winning Regionals.
295
00:11:48,489 --> 00:11:50,323
It's textbook;
You destroy the heart
296
00:11:50,391 --> 00:11:53,092
of the team's heart
and you destroy the team.
297
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,228
WILL: Sandy told me how to
beat Vocal Adrenaline,
298
00:11:55,295 --> 00:11:57,063
and now Rachel was
inadvertently telling me
299
00:11:57,131 --> 00:11:59,565
how to beat my other nemesis.
300
00:11:59,633 --> 00:12:02,702
Suddenly, I wasn't feeling
nearly as depressed.
301
00:12:02,770 --> 00:12:04,504
{playing tentative melody}
302
00:12:04,571 --> 00:12:07,206
William, I'm gonna have
to ask you to clear out.
303
00:12:07,274 --> 00:12:08,808
I received an anonymous
tip from someone
304
00:12:08,876 --> 00:12:10,543
who wants to meet me here
305
00:12:10,611 --> 00:12:12,145
to discuss
an illegal Hot Cheetos ring.
306
00:12:12,212 --> 00:12:13,546
Hot Cheetos have been proven
307
00:12:13,614 --> 00:12:15,982
to raise endorphins,
which makes for happy kids,
308
00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:17,150
and I can't have that.
309
00:12:17,217 --> 00:12:18,317
Yeah, no worries, Sue.
310
00:12:18,385 --> 00:12:19,619
I'll just find
someplace else to...
311
00:12:19,686 --> 00:12:22,088
Oh, wow.
312
00:12:22,156 --> 00:12:22,755
What?
313
00:12:22,823 --> 00:12:24,524
It-it's nothing.
314
00:12:24,591 --> 00:12:27,126
It's just... it's just the way
the light hit you
315
00:12:27,194 --> 00:12:29,228
just now, you looked stunning.
316
00:12:30,597 --> 00:12:32,732
No, you're radiant.
317
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,200
Well, the week before Nationals
every year,
318
00:12:34,268 --> 00:12:35,802
I have a placenta mask
319
00:12:35,869 --> 00:12:38,604
right after a rigorous session
of microdermabrasion.
320
00:12:38,672 --> 00:12:41,707
Well, whatever you're doing,
keep it up
321
00:12:41,775 --> 00:12:45,144
because you have
never looked better.
322
00:12:47,948 --> 00:12:50,349
Well, if you'll excuse me,
I should...
323
00:12:50,417 --> 00:12:51,784
I got stuff to do, so...
Yeah, um...
324
00:12:51,852 --> 00:12:54,954
Look, Sue, I gotta ask
your advice about something.
325
00:12:55,022 --> 00:12:57,990
I know I make it seem
like I-I know what I'm doing,
326
00:12:58,058 --> 00:12:59,926
but everyone knows
327
00:12:59,993 --> 00:13:01,194
you're the kingmaker
around here.
328
00:13:01,261 --> 00:13:02,328
I mean, you're this school's
329
00:13:02,396 --> 00:13:03,496
arbiter of taste.
Continue.
330
00:13:03,564 --> 00:13:04,931
We're doing this funk number
for Regionals,
331
00:13:04,998 --> 00:13:06,532
and I wanted
to pick your brain about it.
332
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,335
I-I just wanted to know
if it's too suggestive.
333
00:13:09,403 --> 00:13:11,304
And I only need
two minutes of your time.
334
00:13:11,371 --> 00:13:13,106
Okay.
335
00:13:13,173 --> 00:13:15,741
{"Tell Me Something Good" plays}
336
00:13:22,182 --> 00:13:31,891
¶¶You ain't got no kind
of feeling insi-ide ¶¶
337
00:13:31,959 --> 00:13:34,760
¶¶Oh, whoa-oa-oa ¶¶
338
00:13:34,828 --> 00:13:36,596
¶¶And I got something ¶¶
339
00:13:36,663 --> 00:13:42,735
¶¶That will sure 'nuff set
your stuff on fire ¶¶
340
00:13:42,803 --> 00:13:44,103
¶¶Oh, oh-oh ¶¶
341
00:13:46,673 --> 00:13:53,079
¶¶You refuse to put anything
before your pride ¶¶
342
00:13:54,815 --> 00:13:56,182
¶¶Oh, oh-oh... ¶¶
343
00:13:58,452 --> 00:14:04,490
¶¶What I got will knock
all your pride aside ¶¶
344
00:14:07,161 --> 00:14:10,062
¶¶Tell me something good ¶¶
345
00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:16,769
¶¶Tell me that you love me,
yeah ¶¶
346
00:14:18,572 --> 00:14:22,608
¶¶Tell me something good ¶¶
347
00:14:22,676 --> 00:14:24,977
¶¶Tell me, tell me, tell me ¶¶
348
00:14:25,045 --> 00:14:28,781
¶¶That you like it, yeah ¶¶
349
00:14:31,552 --> 00:14:38,991
¶¶"Got no time" is what
you're known to say-ay ¶¶
350
00:14:42,963 --> 00:14:44,397
¶¶Tell me something good ¶¶
351
00:14:44,464 --> 00:14:49,101
¶¶Oh, tell me, oh, tell me,
yeah-eah! ¶¶
352
00:14:49,169 --> 00:14:51,304
¶¶Tell me that you love me,
yeah ¶¶
353
00:14:51,371 --> 00:14:54,640
¶¶I like it, I like it,
yeah-eah ¶¶
354
00:14:54,708 --> 00:14:57,410
¶¶Tell me something good! ¶¶
355
00:14:57,477 --> 00:14:58,578
{song ends}
356
00:14:58,645 --> 00:15:00,279
So...
357
00:15:00,347 --> 00:15:01,814
you feel anything there?
358
00:15:01,882 --> 00:15:03,482
No.
359
00:15:03,550 --> 00:15:05,651
Was I...
360
00:15:05,719 --> 00:15:06,786
too dirty?
361
00:15:06,853 --> 00:15:08,421
I didn't notice. I was bored.
362
00:15:11,058 --> 00:15:12,892
Okay.
363
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,392
Right, left, and flip, okay?
364
00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:28,893
Can I go shirtless
under this apron?
365
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:31,195
Look, I only hired
you two losers
366
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,364
because I'm desperate
to increase my quarterly sales
367
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,799
and you'll work for less
than immigrants.
368
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,667
As I'm you know,
369
00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:38,403
Mr. Schuester and I
are now officially divorced.
370
00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:41,005
I mean, I'm sure he talks
about it all the time.
371
00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:45,476
Anyway, I'm on my own now.
372
00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:48,746
And I need to make manager
by the end of the year
373
00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:51,249
so that I can maintain
my lifestyle.
374
00:15:51,316 --> 00:15:53,951
Terri, that guy who gave
me Bell's palsy is
375
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,353
back again today.
376
00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:56,354
So...
377
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,855
help him.
378
00:15:57,923 --> 00:15:59,490
He's our best customer.
379
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:02,860
You need to go help him.
380
00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:04,962
But she just told you to do it.
381
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:06,697
I have got seniority
over you two losers,
382
00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:08,766
which means you have to do
what I say.
383
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:10,401
Well, then I need
to kick your ass.
384
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,069
MAN:
Bamboo...!
385
00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:18,075
You two... apron boys.
386
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,879
You're not gonna fondle us,
are you, Mr. Ryerson?
387
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:23,881
I've recently
redone my bathroom
388
00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:25,983
as an homage
to Miss Jayne Mansfield.
389
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:29,086
Pink! It's all pink!
390
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,688
This is amaranth pink.
391
00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:31,956
I need rose pink.
392
00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:34,992
But this is all the pink
that we have.
393
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:36,494
Wrong answer.
394
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:39,363
Did they change the name of this
place to Losers N' Things?
395
00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:40,965
Did everyone in
396
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,667
the whole world die so they had
397
00:16:42,734 --> 00:16:44,669
to give these jobs
to you two morons?
398
00:16:44,736 --> 00:16:46,170
And where's my Muzak?!
399
00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:48,873
How am I supposed to shop
without my Kenny G?
400
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:51,342
{clapping hands} Let's go!
401
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:53,911
Crank it!
402
00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:58,749
{"Loser" bluesy intro playing}
403
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:07,658
¶¶In the time of chimpanzees,
I was a monkey ¶¶
404
00:17:07,726 --> 00:17:10,428
¶¶Butane in my veins
and I'm out to cut the junkie ¶¶
405
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:13,431
¶¶With the plastic eyeballs,
spray-paint the vegetables ¶¶
406
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:16,734
¶¶Dog food stalls
with the beefcake pantyhose ¶¶
407
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:19,303
¶¶Kill the headlights
and put it in neutral ¶¶
408
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:22,073
¶¶Stock car flamin' with a loser
and the cruise control ¶¶
409
00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:23,641
¶¶Baby's in Reno
with the Vitamin D ¶¶
410
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:27,545
¶¶Got a couple of couches,
sleep on the love seat ¶¶
411
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,213
¶¶Someone keeps saying
I'm insane ¶¶
412
00:17:29,281 --> 00:17:31,215
¶¶To complain
about a shotgun wedding ¶¶
413
00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:33,518
¶¶And a stain on my shirt ¶¶
414
00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:35,620
¶¶Don't believe everything
that you breathe ¶¶
415
00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:38,656
¶¶You get a parking violation
and a maggot on your sleeve ¶¶
416
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,492
¶¶So shave your face
with some mace in the dark ¶¶
417
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,927
¶¶Savin' all your food stamps ¶¶
418
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:45,129
¶¶Aand burnin' down
the trailer park ¶¶
419
00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:46,097
Yo.
420
00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,133
HOWARD:
Cut it.
421
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:54,572
¶¶Soy, un perdedor ¶¶
422
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,909
¶¶I'm a loser, baby ¶¶
423
00:17:57,976 --> 00:17:59,877
¶¶So why don't you kill me? ¶¶
424
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:01,212
¶¶So why don't
you kill me? ¶¶
425
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,714
{song stops, soft Muzak plays}
426
00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:05,416
{sighs}
427
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:12,223
I thought Jews were
supposed to be smart.
428
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,458
{sighs}
429
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:17,261
Go restack the space heaters.
430
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,066
Mrs. Schuester,
431
00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:25,269
can you show me
how to fold this sham again?
432
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:28,239
Mrs. Schuester?
433
00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:30,007
Oh. I'm sorry.
434
00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:31,642
Yes, sure. Of course.
435
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,513
How old are you?
436
00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:37,181
Sixteen.
437
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:39,584
Oh.
438
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,321
SUE:
Dear Journal,
439
00:18:43,388 --> 00:18:45,723
Something strange happened
yesterday.
440
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,492
I felt something
below the neck.
441
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,828
Dare I admit it?
442
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:53,164
I have feelings
for one Will Schuester.
443
00:18:53,231 --> 00:18:56,100
Sexy, non-murdering feelings.
444
00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:58,235
Oh, it all makes sense now,
Journal.
445
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:01,939
True love always springs
from true hate.
446
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,075
I'll admit, in the past,
I've fantasized about waking up
447
00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:06,243
with Will's head on the pillow
next to me,
448
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:08,346
except now I picture it
449
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:10,214
attached to the rest
of his body.
450
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:10,982
{knocking}
451
00:19:11,049 --> 00:19:13,584
Sue, you got a sec?
452
00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,052
Yes, William.
How can I help you?
453
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,922
I, uh, I wanted
to bring you these.
454
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,691
I snuck a peek
at your tracksuit this morning,
455
00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:22,193
and I got these to match.
456
00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:23,594
Those are cheap
gas station flowers.
457
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:24,729
I-I have no interest.
458
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:26,797
Okay.
459
00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:29,967
But I also got you these.
460
00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:33,471
A tub of Extreme Challenge
Lifestyle CarboGels.
461
00:19:33,538 --> 00:19:36,474
I had to drive to Dayton
to get your favorite flavor.
462
00:19:36,541 --> 00:19:39,243
Appletini.
Appletini.
463
00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:44,015
I don't get it either, Sue,
464
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:46,651
but you can't deny
that we have chemistry.
465
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:50,454
My divorce opened my eyes
to a world of possibilities.
466
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,123
I thought I'd finally
have the chance
467
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:54,892
to have all the things
I'd ever wanted.
468
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,761
And then I realized,
469
00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:59,597
the only thing I want...
470
00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:00,965
is Sue.
471
00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:06,804
You have Nationals
472
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,839
this Saturday, right?
Why do you ask?
473
00:20:08,907 --> 00:20:14,078
Because I'd like to take you
to dinner this week.
474
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,179
How's Wednesday night?
475
00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:16,814
Breadstix?
476
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:19,417
Yeah.
477
00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:22,319
Good.
478
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,388
Oh...
479
00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:25,990
You know what Wednesday is,
right?
480
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:30,895
Hump day.
481
00:20:41,947 --> 00:20:43,214
I'm sorry,
Mrs. Schuester,
482
00:20:43,282 --> 00:20:44,749
my heart's not in this.
483
00:20:44,817 --> 00:20:46,818
This whole Vocal Adrenaline
thing's really getting me down,
484
00:20:46,885 --> 00:20:49,253
and we have to come up
with this funk number for Glee,
485
00:20:49,321 --> 00:20:51,389
and I have like,
less-than-zero ideas, and I...
486
00:20:51,457 --> 00:20:52,757
Glee?!
487
00:20:53,459 --> 00:20:55,193
God!
488
00:20:55,260 --> 00:20:56,928
This club is like toxic mold
on my life.
489
00:20:59,431 --> 00:21:01,365
I'm sorry.
490
00:21:03,335 --> 00:21:05,136
What am I doing?
491
00:21:05,204 --> 00:21:07,939
This is exactly how
I destroyed my marriage.
492
00:21:08,006 --> 00:21:11,843
I have this compulsive need to
crush other people's dreams.
493
00:21:11,910 --> 00:21:13,077
Yeah, that's what Mr. Shue said.
494
00:21:14,012 --> 00:21:16,581
I mean,
I think you're awesome, though.
495
00:21:16,648 --> 00:21:17,782
I mean, look how hard
you've been working
496
00:21:17,850 --> 00:21:21,219
to try and help me fold a sham.
Well...
497
00:21:21,286 --> 00:21:23,387
And you'd be a total MILF
498
00:21:23,455 --> 00:21:24,822
if it weren't for the whole
faking-the-mother thing.
499
00:21:27,326 --> 00:21:28,159
You're very sweet.
500
00:21:29,528 --> 00:21:31,295
You could be my second chance.
501
00:21:32,498 --> 00:21:33,965
I'm gonna change.
502
00:21:34,032 --> 00:21:35,967
I don't have to stay in
503
00:21:36,034 --> 00:21:37,535
this post-divorce funk
forever, right?
504
00:21:37,603 --> 00:21:40,104
Yeah. Yeah, right, I guess.
505
00:21:40,172 --> 00:21:41,439
Well, then I am
going to help you
506
00:21:41,507 --> 00:21:42,340
with your Glee assignment.
507
00:21:43,342 --> 00:21:45,009
{chuckles}
508
00:21:45,077 --> 00:21:47,245
Okay, you said you needed
a funk song, right?
509
00:21:47,312 --> 00:21:50,147
Yeah.
Okay, so,
510
00:21:50,215 --> 00:21:52,316
we'll type "funk"
into the iTunes,
511
00:21:52,384 --> 00:21:53,784
and we'll see what comes up.
512
00:21:53,852 --> 00:21:55,520
I never thought of that.
513
00:21:55,587 --> 00:21:57,855
Oh, Howard, I'm promoting Finn
514
00:21:57,923 --> 00:21:59,924
to assistant assistant manager.
515
00:21:59,992 --> 00:22:01,792
You'll report to
him from now on.
516
00:22:01,860 --> 00:22:03,494
Do you have a problem
with that?
517
00:22:03,562 --> 00:22:05,396
{sighs}
518
00:22:07,232 --> 00:22:08,833
Wow, thanks.
519
00:22:08,901 --> 00:22:10,701
I believe in you, Finn.
520
00:22:14,006 --> 00:22:15,773
{bell ringing} Okay, Quinn,
521
00:22:15,841 --> 00:22:18,142
it's your day to show us
your funky side.
522
00:22:18,210 --> 00:22:19,443
So, take it away.
523
00:22:19,511 --> 00:22:22,213
For some of us...
524
00:22:23,348 --> 00:22:25,316
...just simply getting to class
525
00:22:25,384 --> 00:22:26,817
takes a little bit longer.
526
00:22:26,885 --> 00:22:28,786
When you're pregnant,
527
00:22:28,854 --> 00:22:30,955
you're responsible
for two lives.
528
00:22:31,023 --> 00:22:33,124
And you're walking
down the hallway
529
00:22:33,191 --> 00:22:35,092
oppressed by the man.
530
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,161
Oh, my goodness, she is
not about to go there.
531
00:22:37,229 --> 00:22:38,696
Hearing people call you fat.
532
00:22:39,565 --> 00:22:41,132
Sometimes it hurts.
533
00:22:41,199 --> 00:22:44,936
Sometimes you have to stop
534
00:22:45,003 --> 00:22:47,939
and hold that precious life
and say no.
535
00:22:48,006 --> 00:22:49,240
This is offensive.
536
00:22:49,308 --> 00:22:50,508
Who are these girls?
537
00:22:50,576 --> 00:22:52,376
We're the "Unwed
Mothership Connection."
538
00:22:52,444 --> 00:22:55,446
And that's what we're
here to sing about.
539
00:22:55,514 --> 00:22:58,482
{"It's a Man's Man's
Man's World" playing}
540
00:23:01,453 --> 00:23:03,554
¶¶This is a man's world ¶¶
541
00:23:07,092 --> 00:23:09,126
¶¶This is a man's world ¶¶
542
00:23:12,631 --> 00:23:15,967
¶¶But it wouldn't be nothing ¶¶
543
00:23:16,034 --> 00:23:19,003
¶¶Nothing ¶¶
544
00:23:19,071 --> 00:23:23,240
¶¶Without a woman or a girl ¶¶
545
00:23:23,308 --> 00:23:27,612
¶¶Ooh, ooh, ooh ¶¶
546
00:23:27,679 --> 00:23:30,147
¶¶You see ¶¶
547
00:23:30,215 --> 00:23:32,683
¶¶Man made the cars ¶¶
548
00:23:32,751 --> 00:23:34,585
¶¶Ah ¶¶
549
00:23:34,653 --> 00:23:37,021
¶¶To take us over the road ¶¶
550
00:23:37,089 --> 00:23:38,656
¶¶Ah ¶¶
551
00:23:38,724 --> 00:23:43,594
¶¶Man made the train ¶¶
552
00:23:43,662 --> 00:23:46,464
¶¶To carry the heavy loads ¶¶
553
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:52,370
¶¶Man made the boat
for the water ¶¶
554
00:23:52,437 --> 00:23:56,641
¶¶Like Noah made the ark ¶¶
555
00:23:56,708 --> 00:24:01,545
¶¶This is a man's, man's,
man's world ¶¶
556
00:24:01,613 --> 00:24:04,715
¶¶But it wouldn't be
nothing, nothing ¶¶
557
00:24:04,783 --> 00:24:07,785
¶¶Without a woman or a girl ¶¶
He-he-he-hoo-hoo-hoo.
558
00:24:07,853 --> 00:24:12,189
¶¶Without a woman or a girl ¶¶
559
00:24:12,257 --> 00:24:15,693
He-he-he-hoo-hoo-hoo.
560
00:24:15,761 --> 00:24:19,630
¶¶Man thinks about
a little baby girls ¶¶
561
00:24:20,832 --> 00:24:23,267
¶¶And the baby boys ¶¶
562
00:24:23,335 --> 00:24:29,874
¶¶And after man make everything,
everything he can ¶¶
563
00:24:31,610 --> 00:24:33,544
¶¶You know that man
makes money ¶¶
564
00:24:33,612 --> 00:24:34,979
¶¶He makes money ¶¶
565
00:24:35,047 --> 00:24:38,582
¶¶To buy from other man ¶¶
566
00:24:38,650 --> 00:24:40,851
¶¶To buy from other man ¶¶
567
00:24:40,919 --> 00:24:44,288
¶¶This is a man's world ¶¶
568
00:24:44,356 --> 00:24:48,159
¶¶But it wouldn't
be nothing, nothing ¶¶
569
00:24:48,226 --> 00:24:50,561
¶¶Not one little thing ¶¶
¶¶Nothing ¶¶
570
00:24:50,629 --> 00:24:53,297
¶¶Without a woman or a girl ¶¶
571
00:24:55,067 --> 00:24:56,634
¶¶Ooh ¶¶
572
00:24:56,702 --> 00:24:59,637
¶¶He's lost ¶¶
573
00:24:59,705 --> 00:25:02,440
¶¶In bitterness ¶¶
¶¶Ooh ¶¶
574
00:25:04,543 --> 00:25:05,443
¶¶Ooh ¶¶
575
00:25:05,510 --> 00:25:07,678
¶¶He's lost ¶¶
576
00:25:07,746 --> 00:25:09,880
¶¶Lost somewhere ¶¶
¶¶Ooh ¶¶
577
00:25:12,751 --> 00:25:17,455
¶¶In loneliness. ¶¶
578
00:25:17,522 --> 00:25:19,090
{song ends}
579
00:25:33,438 --> 00:25:35,406
You're going to have
to order something.
580
00:25:35,474 --> 00:25:37,208
My date will be here any minute.
581
00:25:37,275 --> 00:25:38,876
Your date's not coming.
582
00:25:38,944 --> 00:25:40,411
You got stood up.
583
00:25:49,621 --> 00:25:51,555
{audience cheering on TV}
{pounding on door}
584
00:25:51,623 --> 00:25:53,624
Right on time.
585
00:25:53,692 --> 00:25:54,892
{rapid knocking}
586
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,627
How dare you?!
587
00:25:56,695 --> 00:25:58,095
You led me on.
588
00:25:58,163 --> 00:25:59,730
You told me you had
feelings for me,
589
00:25:59,798 --> 00:26:01,165
then you ask me out,
you don't show up,
590
00:26:01,233 --> 00:26:02,967
humiliating me.
In public.
591
00:26:03,034 --> 00:26:05,002
Gosh, Sue, I wonder where
I learned how to do all that.
592
00:26:05,070 --> 00:26:07,204
You meddled around
in my marriage,
593
00:26:07,272 --> 00:26:08,839
you terrorize the glee club,
594
00:26:08,907 --> 00:26:11,008
you continue to sabotage
my relationship with Emma.
595
00:26:11,076 --> 00:26:13,544
I tried playing nice, but
nothing seems to work with you.
596
00:26:13,612 --> 00:26:14,745
Cruelty was the only way
597
00:26:14,813 --> 00:26:16,447
to get your attention.
598
00:26:16,515 --> 00:26:19,049
I have no interest
in dating you, Sue.
599
00:26:19,117 --> 00:26:20,918
You're a bully
and you're mean to kids.
600
00:26:20,986 --> 00:26:22,353
I'm mean to everyone.
601
00:26:22,420 --> 00:26:24,021
Yeah, well, fine.
602
00:26:24,089 --> 00:26:27,491
Consider this a little taste
of what you love dishing out.
603
00:26:27,559 --> 00:26:30,294
Now, if you'll excuse me.
604
00:26:30,362 --> 00:26:33,684
This is uncalled for, William.
605
00:26:33,719 --> 00:26:35,771
{sighs} Good night, Sue.
606
00:26:40,930 --> 00:26:43,498
{mutters}
Santana, are you all right?
607
00:26:43,566 --> 00:26:45,167
What...?
608
00:26:45,235 --> 00:26:47,069
{sobbing}
609
00:26:52,342 --> 00:26:54,843
Kurt, what is going on
around here?
610
00:26:54,911 --> 00:26:56,945
Coach Sylvester
won't get out of bed.
611
00:26:57,013 --> 00:26:58,680
We haven't had
practice in days.
612
00:26:58,748 --> 00:27:00,215
I'm fine because I have Glee,
613
00:27:00,283 --> 00:27:02,718
but these girls have
sort of lost it.
614
00:27:02,785 --> 00:27:04,386
No Nationals means
that four of the girls
615
00:27:04,454 --> 00:27:05,821
will lose their
college scholarships.
616
00:27:05,888 --> 00:27:07,756
And the rest are just
depressed and confused.
617
00:27:07,824 --> 00:27:09,491
Please, please,
love me, please.
618
00:27:11,060 --> 00:27:14,630
It's really hard to feel
bad for Sue Sylvester--
619
00:27:14,697 --> 00:27:16,498
she doesn't need
another trophy--
620
00:27:16,566 --> 00:27:19,134
but some of these
girls, they really do.
621
00:27:23,172 --> 00:27:25,107
FINN:
Mr. Shue,
622
00:27:25,174 --> 00:27:26,742
Puck and I would like
to show the class
623
00:27:26,809 --> 00:27:27,776
the true meaning of funk.
624
00:27:27,844 --> 00:27:29,511
With a little help
625
00:27:29,579 --> 00:27:31,613
from our special guest
Mercedes.
626
00:27:31,681 --> 00:27:32,781
Whoo.
Yeah.
627
00:27:32,849 --> 00:27:34,449
Fasten your seat belts, people.
628
00:27:34,517 --> 00:27:36,418
It's going to be a funky ride.
629
00:27:36,486 --> 00:27:37,986
{"Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark
and the Funky Bunch playing}
630
00:27:38,054 --> 00:27:38,987
¶¶Yeah ¶¶
631
00:27:39,055 --> 00:27:41,657
¶¶Can you feel it, baby? ¶¶
632
00:27:41,724 --> 00:27:43,292
¶¶Come on, swing it ¶¶
633
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:45,260
¶¶Come-come on, swing it ¶¶
634
00:27:45,328 --> 00:27:47,696
¶¶Come on, swing it ¶¶
635
00:27:47,764 --> 00:27:49,197
¶¶Come-come on, swing it ¶¶
636
00:27:49,265 --> 00:27:51,366
¶¶Yo, it's about that time ¶¶
637
00:27:51,434 --> 00:27:52,934
¶¶To bring forth
the rhythm and the rhyme ¶¶
638
00:27:53,002 --> 00:27:55,304
¶¶I'm gonna get mine,
so get yours ¶¶
639
00:27:55,371 --> 00:27:57,172
¶¶I want to see sweat
comin' out your pores ¶¶
640
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,041
¶¶On the house tip is
how I'm swingin' this ¶¶
641
00:27:59,108 --> 00:28:00,709
¶¶Strictly hip-hop, boy,
I ain't singing this ¶¶
642
00:28:00,777 --> 00:28:03,578
¶¶Bringing this
to the entire nation ¶¶
643
00:28:03,646 --> 00:28:06,648
¶¶Black, white, red, brown, feel
the vibration ¶¶¶¶Vibration ¶¶
644
00:28:06,716 --> 00:28:08,083
¶¶Come on, feel the vibration ¶¶
¶¶Vibration ¶¶
645
00:28:08,151 --> 00:28:12,087
¶¶It's such a good vibration ¶¶
646
00:28:12,155 --> 00:28:16,892
¶¶It's such a sweet sensation ¶¶
647
00:28:16,959 --> 00:28:19,061
¶¶The vibrations good
like Sunkist ¶¶
648
00:28:19,128 --> 00:28:20,929
¶¶Many wanna know
who done this ¶¶
649
00:28:20,997 --> 00:28:22,698
¶¶Pucky Puck
and I'm here to move you ¶¶
650
00:28:22,765 --> 00:28:25,334
¶¶Rhymes will groove you
and I'm here to prove to you ¶¶
651
00:28:25,401 --> 00:28:27,135
¶¶That we can party
on the positive side ¶¶
652
00:28:27,203 --> 00:28:28,637
¶¶And pump positive vibes,
so come along for the ride ¶¶
653
00:28:28,705 --> 00:28:31,373
¶¶Making you feel the rhythm
is my occupation ¶¶
654
00:28:31,441 --> 00:28:33,108
¶¶So feel the vibration ¶¶
¶¶Vibration ¶¶
655
00:28:33,176 --> 00:28:35,344
¶¶Come on, feel the vibration ¶¶
¶¶Vibration ¶¶
656
00:28:35,411 --> 00:28:38,947
¶¶It's such a good vibration ¶¶
657
00:28:39,015 --> 00:28:42,918
¶¶It's such a sweet sensation ¶¶
658
00:28:42,985 --> 00:28:44,252
Finnie D, break it down.
659
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:45,754
¶¶Down, down, down, down ¶¶
660
00:28:48,958 --> 00:28:50,392
¶¶Finnie D's on the back up ¶¶
661
00:28:50,460 --> 00:28:52,928
¶¶Drug free,
so put the crack up ¶¶
662
00:28:52,995 --> 00:28:56,064
¶¶No need for speed,
I'm the anti D-R-U-G-G-I-E ¶¶
663
00:28:56,132 --> 00:28:57,999
¶¶My body is healthy,
my rhymes make me wealthy ¶¶
664
00:28:58,067 --> 00:29:01,036
¶¶And the Funky Bunch helps me ¶¶
665
00:29:01,104 --> 00:29:02,904
¶¶To bring you a show
with no intoxication ¶¶
666
00:29:02,972 --> 00:29:06,208
¶¶Come on, and feel the
vibration ¶¶¶¶Vibration ¶¶
667
00:29:06,275 --> 00:29:07,442
¶¶Yeah ¶¶
668
00:29:07,510 --> 00:29:09,578
¶¶Can you feel it, baby? ¶¶
669
00:29:09,645 --> 00:29:11,413
¶¶I can, too ¶¶
670
00:29:11,481 --> 00:29:13,749
¶¶It's such a good vibration ¶¶
671
00:29:15,184 --> 00:29:18,420
¶¶It's such a sweet sensation ¶¶
672
00:29:18,488 --> 00:29:21,223
¶¶It's such a good vibration. ¶¶
673
00:29:21,290 --> 00:29:22,924
{song ends, applause and whoops}
674
00:29:22,992 --> 00:29:24,793
WILL:
All right.
675
00:29:24,861 --> 00:29:26,895
Great job, guys,
but that's not funk.
676
00:29:26,963 --> 00:29:28,063
I mean, the group is called
677
00:29:28,131 --> 00:29:29,264
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch,
678
00:29:29,332 --> 00:29:30,432
but that is a rap song.
679
00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:32,501
A kick-butt old school rap song.
680
00:29:32,568 --> 00:29:34,736
ARTIE:
Does it really matter, Mr. Shue?
681
00:29:34,804 --> 00:29:37,906
We're so clinically depressed,
we're doing the wrong songs.
682
00:29:37,974 --> 00:29:39,841
We're in a deeper
funk than ever.
683
00:29:47,383 --> 00:29:50,185
Mercedes,
684
00:29:50,253 --> 00:29:52,020
I'm so sorry.
685
00:29:52,088 --> 00:29:53,388
You may not be a minority,
686
00:29:53,456 --> 00:29:55,957
but you certainly get
how it feels sometimes.
687
00:29:56,025 --> 00:29:57,726
For nine months.
688
00:29:57,794 --> 00:29:59,361
You've had to deal with this
689
00:29:59,429 --> 00:30:02,497
your whole life.
690
00:30:02,565 --> 00:30:05,801
People making assumptions,
calling you names.
691
00:30:05,868 --> 00:30:09,438
I seriously can't understand
why don't feel like
692
00:30:09,505 --> 00:30:11,072
yelling at people all the time.
693
00:30:11,140 --> 00:30:13,508
What's the point
in getting angry?
694
00:30:13,576 --> 00:30:15,076
Because it's infuriating.
695
00:30:15,144 --> 00:30:17,646
I hate all the looks at school.
696
00:30:17,713 --> 00:30:20,849
Don't even get me started
on Puck's mom.
697
00:30:20,917 --> 00:30:23,018
You're not angry.
698
00:30:23,085 --> 00:30:24,586
You're hurt.
699
00:30:24,654 --> 00:30:26,087
You just need someplace safe
700
00:30:26,155 --> 00:30:27,823
where you can dig through
all that rage.
701
00:30:27,890 --> 00:30:30,725
Get to the pain beneath it.
702
00:30:30,793 --> 00:30:32,127
So it's decided.
703
00:30:32,195 --> 00:30:33,628
Saturday you move out
of Puck's house
704
00:30:33,696 --> 00:30:35,497
and you move in with me.
705
00:30:37,333 --> 00:30:39,401
I already talked
to my mom about it.
706
00:30:39,469 --> 00:30:42,337
My brother went off to college
and we have an extra room.
707
00:30:42,405 --> 00:30:44,072
Mercedes...
708
00:30:44,140 --> 00:30:45,941
It's cool.
709
00:30:46,008 --> 00:30:48,543
Us sisters got to stick
together, right?
710
00:30:49,645 --> 00:30:52,180
{chuckles}
711
00:30:53,216 --> 00:30:55,717
{both laughing softly}
712
00:30:57,053 --> 00:30:58,253
{doorbell rings}
713
00:31:01,357 --> 00:31:03,358
Mr. Schuester?
Yes.
714
00:31:03,426 --> 00:31:04,860
Come in.
Thank you.
715
00:31:06,496 --> 00:31:09,664
Um, is she doing okay?
716
00:31:09,732 --> 00:31:11,967
Never seen her like this.
717
00:31:12,034 --> 00:31:14,436
She won't leave her room,
and refuses her protein shakes.
718
00:31:14,504 --> 00:31:16,304
Bad.
719
00:31:16,372 --> 00:31:18,740
Very bad. Well, please, tell her
I'd love to speak with her.
720
00:31:18,808 --> 00:31:20,475
Let me ask.
721
00:31:20,543 --> 00:31:21,776
Thank you.
722
00:31:24,580 --> 00:31:25,847
Careful.
723
00:31:25,915 --> 00:31:27,516
That Regionals '85.
724
00:31:27,583 --> 00:31:29,251
Very precious to Ms. Sue.
725
00:31:29,318 --> 00:31:30,352
Sorry.
726
00:31:32,788 --> 00:31:34,589
Mija, Mr. Schuester
is here.
727
00:31:34,657 --> 00:31:36,191
SUE: Okay.
Okay.
728
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:38,894
She agreed to see you.
729
00:31:38,961 --> 00:31:40,662
Oh, gracias por tu ayuda.
730
00:31:40,730 --> 00:31:41,663
De Nada.
731
00:31:47,303 --> 00:31:49,538
{knocking}
732
00:31:49,605 --> 00:31:51,673
So have you come to gloat?
733
00:31:51,741 --> 00:31:55,010
I, uh...
734
00:31:55,077 --> 00:31:57,412
I hear you're pulling out
of Nationals, Sue.
735
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:58,947
You know, for some
of your girls
736
00:31:59,015 --> 00:32:01,616
that's going to have
some really big consequences.
737
00:32:01,684 --> 00:32:02,884
I'm tired of those kids.
738
00:32:02,952 --> 00:32:04,219
I devoted my life to them.
739
00:32:04,287 --> 00:32:06,221
And what have I got
to show for it?
740
00:32:06,289 --> 00:32:10,091
Five consecutive
National championships.
741
00:32:10,159 --> 00:32:11,893
Oh, big deal.
742
00:32:11,961 --> 00:32:14,195
I'm alone, William.
743
00:32:14,263 --> 00:32:16,398
I don't even like you
and I was willing
744
00:32:16,465 --> 00:32:18,333
to jump at the chance
to be with you.
745
00:32:18,401 --> 00:32:22,337
And, you know, for a second,
746
00:32:22,405 --> 00:32:24,306
I saw a flash of something.
747
00:32:24,373 --> 00:32:26,074
I pictured myself
748
00:32:26,142 --> 00:32:29,411
living a normal life.
749
00:32:29,478 --> 00:32:31,713
Having someone to come home to
every night.
750
00:32:34,817 --> 00:32:38,186
And though
I completely loathe you,
751
00:32:38,254 --> 00:32:40,889
you'd make
a great trophy husband.
752
00:32:40,957 --> 00:32:42,424
And as you can see
753
00:32:42,491 --> 00:32:45,594
by my decor,
I love me some trophies.
754
00:32:45,661 --> 00:32:48,430
Sue, I did what I did to you
out of anger.
755
00:32:48,497 --> 00:32:49,931
I thought destroying you
756
00:32:49,999 --> 00:32:52,701
would pull me out of my funk.
757
00:32:52,768 --> 00:32:56,538
But... just made things worse.
758
00:32:56,606 --> 00:33:00,041
So is that an apology?
759
00:33:00,109 --> 00:33:02,277
Yes, it is.
760
00:33:02,345 --> 00:33:04,846
And you're not alone, Sue.
761
00:33:04,914 --> 00:33:07,148
Your kids need you,
762
00:33:07,216 --> 00:33:09,217
so you do have love
in your life.
763
00:33:09,285 --> 00:33:11,586
My kids don't love me;
They fear me.
764
00:33:11,654 --> 00:33:13,688
But you love them, Sue.
765
00:33:19,462 --> 00:33:21,896
Hand me my bullhorn, will you?
766
00:33:25,768 --> 00:33:28,103
{feedback squeals}
767
00:33:28,170 --> 00:33:29,771
Amelda!
768
00:33:29,839 --> 00:33:31,339
Make me a shake!
769
00:33:31,407 --> 00:33:32,407
To go!
770
00:33:32,475 --> 00:33:33,575
AMELDA:
Hooray.
771
00:33:33,643 --> 00:33:35,010
Make it two.
772
00:33:37,813 --> 00:33:39,547
{bell ringing}
773
00:33:39,615 --> 00:33:41,049
{cell phone rings}
774
00:33:44,053 --> 00:33:45,120
Hello.
775
00:33:45,187 --> 00:33:47,455
JESSIE:
Meet me out in the parking lot.
776
00:33:53,729 --> 00:33:56,331
{piano plays gentle melody}
777
00:34:26,095 --> 00:34:28,363
{laughing}
778
00:34:28,431 --> 00:34:29,898
I hear you're a vegan, Berry.
779
00:34:29,965 --> 00:34:31,199
The souls of those
poor egg fetuses
780
00:34:31,267 --> 00:34:32,467
are all on your conscience now.
781
00:34:32,535 --> 00:34:33,301
{laughs}
782
00:34:33,369 --> 00:34:35,403
Do it, Jessie.
783
00:34:37,606 --> 00:34:40,382
Are you with us or not?
784
00:34:48,851 --> 00:34:51,052
Do it.
785
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:53,021
Break it
like you broke my heart.
786
00:34:53,089 --> 00:34:56,150
I loved you.
787
00:35:18,285 --> 00:35:20,453
Now...
nightmares of all of the mothers
788
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,722
of the little baby chicks
coming after me for revenge.
789
00:35:22,789 --> 00:35:24,090
Oh, this is bull!
790
00:35:24,157 --> 00:35:26,258
Finn, Mike, Matt, come with me.
791
00:35:26,326 --> 00:35:27,827
Right on. It's time for less
talking and more punching.
792
00:35:27,894 --> 00:35:30,029
Hey, what's going on?
793
00:35:30,097 --> 00:35:31,731
We're on our way to go all
Braveheart on Vocal Adrenaline.
794
00:35:31,798 --> 00:35:33,666
Guys, violence is never
the answer.
795
00:35:33,734 --> 00:35:36,102
It is when the question is
"What's the best way to mess up
796
00:35:36,169 --> 00:35:37,103
that Jessie kid's face?!"
797
00:35:37,170 --> 00:35:38,637
Mr. Shue, Rachel's one of us.
798
00:35:38,705 --> 00:35:40,573
We're the only ones
who get to humiliate her.
799
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,208
Stop!
800
00:35:42,275 --> 00:35:44,510
Get back here and sit down!
801
00:35:47,314 --> 00:35:48,781
Look, I know from experience
802
00:35:48,849 --> 00:35:51,250
that making someone else suffer
doesn't make your pain go away.
803
00:35:51,318 --> 00:35:52,852
You're all amazing, no matter
804
00:35:52,919 --> 00:35:54,920
what Vocal Adrenaline
says or does.
805
00:35:54,988 --> 00:35:56,756
We just need to find a way
to remind ourselves of that.
806
00:35:56,823 --> 00:35:58,591
We can't just let
Vocal Adrenaline get away
807
00:35:58,658 --> 00:35:59,925
with turning Rachel
into an omelet.
808
00:35:59,993 --> 00:36:01,427
We're not.
809
00:36:01,495 --> 00:36:04,663
Rachel, dial Jessie's
number on your phone.
810
00:36:07,100 --> 00:36:10,169
SANTANA: You haven't
deleted his number yet?
811
00:36:10,237 --> 00:36:11,837
Jessie St. James?
812
00:36:11,905 --> 00:36:14,106
Will Schuester here.
You and Vocal Adrenaline need
813
00:36:14,174 --> 00:36:17,176
to meet at our auditorium
Friday, 3:00 sharp.
814
00:36:17,244 --> 00:36:19,512
BRETT PAXTON: Let's hear it
from the internationally ranked
815
00:36:19,579 --> 00:36:21,914
Cheerios coach Sue Sylvester.
816
00:36:21,982 --> 00:36:24,250
Coach, six consecutive
National titles.
817
00:36:24,317 --> 00:36:26,886
You're the Michael Jordan
of cheerleading.
818
00:36:26,953 --> 00:36:28,254
Thanks, Brett, I am.
819
00:36:28,321 --> 00:36:31,056
Sue, let us know about
the decision you made
820
00:36:31,124 --> 00:36:32,691
to have Kurt Hummel here
821
00:36:32,759 --> 00:36:35,561
do a 14-and-a-half minute
Celine Dion medley,
822
00:36:35,629 --> 00:36:37,897
entirely in French.
823
00:36:37,964 --> 00:36:39,398
Well, I'll tell you what, Brett,
824
00:36:39,466 --> 00:36:40,900
I'm all about finding
a freakish, depressed kid
825
00:36:40,967 --> 00:36:42,368
and showing him
what winning is all about.
826
00:36:42,435 --> 00:36:44,203
Vive Le difference!
827
00:36:44,271 --> 00:36:46,205
Whoo! {giggles} Well...
well, Sue, congratulations,
828
00:36:46,273 --> 00:36:49,308
but I have to ask you,
where are you going to put
829
00:36:49,376 --> 00:36:51,977
that mammoth
skyscraping trophy?
830
00:36:52,045 --> 00:36:54,747
I know just the place.
831
00:36:54,815 --> 00:36:56,382
{doorbell rings}
832
00:37:08,628 --> 00:37:09,662
Get out.
833
00:37:12,032 --> 00:37:13,232
{whispers}:
I'm sorry, Mr. Shue.
834
00:37:15,836 --> 00:37:18,604
Wow. You did it, Sue...
835
00:37:18,672 --> 00:37:20,439
I'll do the talking,
thank you very much.
836
00:37:20,507 --> 00:37:22,508
Let me break it down
for you, William.
837
00:37:22,576 --> 00:37:24,844
You're standing at a crossroads.
You have two choices:
838
00:37:24,911 --> 00:37:26,245
Number one:
839
00:37:26,313 --> 00:37:28,581
This trophy will be installed
in the choir room
840
00:37:28,648 --> 00:37:30,316
in a custom-built
bulletproof case
841
00:37:30,383 --> 00:37:32,518
as a daily reminder
of your failure
842
00:37:32,586 --> 00:37:35,354
as a man and an educator.
843
00:37:35,422 --> 00:37:36,555
And what's choice number two?
844
00:37:38,158 --> 00:37:39,391
You can kiss me...
845
00:37:40,827 --> 00:37:43,229
...right here on the lips...
846
00:37:44,664 --> 00:37:46,532
...with tongue.
847
00:37:48,501 --> 00:37:50,169
This is payback, isn't it?
848
00:37:54,975 --> 00:37:56,275
No one will know?
849
00:37:58,245 --> 00:38:01,180
Fine.
850
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:07,887
You know what?
851
00:38:07,954 --> 00:38:09,455
I'm not gonna do this.
852
00:38:10,624 --> 00:38:14,393
Even your breath stinks
of mediocrity.
853
00:38:14,461 --> 00:38:16,061
It's making me sick.
854
00:38:20,667 --> 00:38:22,468
{"Loser" by Beck begins playing}
855
00:38:31,211 --> 00:38:32,945
{wheels squeaking}
856
00:38:34,581 --> 00:38:36,348
¶¶Cut it ¶¶
857
00:38:36,416 --> 00:38:41,387
¶¶Soy, UN perdedor ¶¶
858
00:38:41,454 --> 00:38:44,456
¶¶I'm a loser, baby ¶¶
859
00:38:44,524 --> 00:38:46,725
¶¶So why don't you kill me? ¶¶
860
00:38:46,793 --> 00:38:47,993
¶¶Double-barrel buckshot ¶¶
861
00:38:48,061 --> 00:38:52,498
¶¶Soy, UN perdedor ¶¶
862
00:38:52,565 --> 00:38:55,935
¶¶I'm a loser, baby ¶¶
863
00:38:56,002 --> 00:38:57,736
¶¶So why don't you kill me? ¶¶
864
00:38:57,804 --> 00:38:59,271
¶¶Drive-by body pierce. ¶¶
865
00:38:59,339 --> 00:39:01,707
RACHEL:
Thanks for coming.
866
00:39:01,775 --> 00:39:03,943
After your brazen escalation
of our growing dispute,
867
00:39:04,010 --> 00:39:06,712
which we were willing
to put to rest, we decided
868
00:39:06,780 --> 00:39:09,048
the only way to truly funkify
you is to show you
869
00:39:09,115 --> 00:39:10,416
the one thing
we know you can't do.
870
00:39:10,483 --> 00:39:12,584
So enjoy.
871
00:39:12,652 --> 00:39:14,053
¶¶Roof off ¶¶
872
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,422
¶¶We're gonna tear the roof off
the mother sucker ¶¶
873
00:39:16,489 --> 00:39:18,524
¶¶Tear the roof off the sucker,
tear the roof off ¶¶
874
00:39:18,591 --> 00:39:20,025
¶¶We're gonna tear the roof off
the mother sucker ¶¶
875
00:39:20,093 --> 00:39:21,760
¶¶Tear the roof off the sucker ¶¶
876
00:39:21,828 --> 00:39:24,063
¶¶You've got a real type
of thing ¶¶
877
00:39:24,130 --> 00:39:25,798
¶¶Going down, gettin' down ¶¶
878
00:39:25,865 --> 00:39:29,969
¶¶There's a whole lot of rhythm
going round ¶¶
879
00:39:30,036 --> 00:39:34,907
¶¶You've got a real type of
thing going down, gettin' down ¶¶
880
00:39:34,975 --> 00:39:39,078
¶¶There's a whole lot
of rhythm going round ¶¶
881
00:39:39,145 --> 00:39:41,847
¶¶Ow, we want the funk ¶¶
882
00:39:41,915 --> 00:39:43,849
¶¶Give up the funk ¶¶
883
00:39:43,917 --> 00:39:45,718
¶¶Ow, we need the funk ¶¶
884
00:39:45,785 --> 00:39:47,653
¶¶We gotta have that funk ¶¶
885
00:39:47,721 --> 00:39:50,422
¶¶Ow, we want the funk ¶¶
886
00:39:50,490 --> 00:39:52,758
¶¶Give up the funk ¶¶
887
00:39:52,826 --> 00:39:54,460
¶¶Ow, we need the funk ¶¶
888
00:39:54,527 --> 00:39:56,195
¶¶We gotta have that funk ¶¶
889
00:39:56,262 --> 00:39:58,998
¶¶Na, Na-Na-Na-Na ¶¶
890
00:39:59,065 --> 00:40:03,002
¶¶Doo, doo, doo, doo,
doo, doo, doo ¶¶
891
00:40:03,069 --> 00:40:05,104
¶¶Ow...! ¶¶
892
00:40:05,171 --> 00:40:07,973
¶¶Na, Na-Na-Na-Na ¶¶
893
00:40:08,041 --> 00:40:11,076
¶¶Doo, doo, doo, doo,
doo, doo, doo ¶¶
894
00:40:11,144 --> 00:40:14,213
¶¶Ow...! ¶¶
895
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,982
¶¶We're gonna turn
this mother out ¶¶
896
00:40:17,050 --> 00:40:18,283
¶¶Give up the funk ¶¶
897
00:40:18,351 --> 00:40:23,355
¶¶We're gonna turn
this mother out ¶¶
898
00:40:23,423 --> 00:40:25,824
¶¶We're gonna
turn this mother out ¶¶
899
00:40:25,892 --> 00:40:27,526
¶¶Give up the funk ¶¶
900
00:40:27,594 --> 00:40:29,661
¶¶We're gonna turn
this mother out ¶¶
901
00:40:29,729 --> 00:40:31,964
¶¶We turn this mother out! ¶¶
902
00:40:32,032 --> 00:40:33,399
¶¶Na, Na-Na-Na-Na ¶¶
903
00:40:33,466 --> 00:40:37,636
¶¶Doo, doo, doo, doo,
doo, doo, doo ¶¶
904
00:40:37,704 --> 00:40:39,204
¶¶Ow...! ¶¶
905
00:40:39,272 --> 00:40:42,374
¶¶You've got a real type
of thing going down ¶¶
906
00:40:42,442 --> 00:40:44,376
¶¶Gettin' down ¶¶
907
00:40:44,444 --> 00:40:46,812
¶¶There's a whole lot
of rhythm going down ¶¶
908
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:48,847
¶¶All the rhythm goin' down ¶¶
909
00:40:48,915 --> 00:40:53,252
¶¶You've got a real type of
thing going down, gettin' down ¶¶
910
00:40:53,319 --> 00:40:57,556
¶¶There's a whole lot of rhythm
goin' round ¶¶
911
00:40:57,624 --> 00:40:59,091
{band plays flourish}
912
00:40:59,159 --> 00:40:59,925
MERCEDES:
¶¶Yeah! ¶¶
913
00:40:59,993 --> 00:41:01,326
{tempo increases}
914
00:41:01,394 --> 00:41:02,828
¶¶We want the funk ¶¶
¶¶Yeah ¶¶
915
00:41:02,896 --> 00:41:04,863
¶¶Give up the funk ¶¶
916
00:41:04,931 --> 00:41:08,333
¶¶We need the funk, gotta have that funk!
¶¶¶¶Funky! ¶¶
917
00:41:08,401 --> 00:41:09,701
¶¶We want the funk ¶¶
¶¶Yeah ¶¶
918
00:41:09,769 --> 00:41:12,538
¶¶Give up the funk ¶¶
919
00:41:12,605 --> 00:41:15,074
¶¶We need the funk,
gotta have some funk ¶¶
920
00:41:15,141 --> 00:41:16,475
¶¶We want the funk ¶¶
921
00:41:16,543 --> 00:41:18,710
¶¶Funky, funky ¶¶
¶¶Give up the funk ¶¶
922
00:41:18,778 --> 00:41:20,879
¶¶We need the funk ¶¶
¶¶Hey, get down ¶¶
923
00:41:20,947 --> 00:41:22,848
¶¶Gotta have that funk ¶¶
¶¶Hey, yeah! ¶¶
924
00:41:22,916 --> 00:41:24,183
¶¶We want the funk ¶¶
925
00:41:24,250 --> 00:41:25,517
¶¶Give up the funk ¶¶
926
00:41:25,585 --> 00:41:27,553
¶¶We need the funk ¶¶
927
00:41:27,620 --> 00:41:29,088
¶¶Gotta have that funk ¶¶
928
00:41:34,894 --> 00:41:37,796
See you punks at Regionals.
929
00:41:39,365 --> 00:41:41,400
They did a funk number.
930
00:41:41,468 --> 00:41:44,603
We've never been able
to pull off a funk number.
931
00:41:44,671 --> 00:41:47,473
Well, that's because we're
soulless automatons.
932
00:41:47,540 --> 00:41:48,975
I'm so depressed.
933
00:41:49,305 --> 00:41:55,301
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