1
00:00:03,228 --> 00:00:05,797
Congratulations, fellas.
2
00:00:05,798 --> 00:00:07,542
- On what, sir?
- On winning the lottery.
3
00:00:07,543 --> 00:00:09,233
Because the only reason
I can imagine
4
00:00:09,267 --> 00:00:11,543
why my fine young
money managers
5
00:00:11,559 --> 00:00:14,861
aren't at the conference table
at 9:00 A.M.
6
00:00:14,896 --> 00:00:17,459
is because y'all went in
on a winning lottery ticket
7
00:00:17,460 --> 00:00:22,068
and you've come here to tell me
to kiss your collective ass.
8
00:00:23,471 --> 00:00:25,405
You know, let's... let's take
a pause for a second
9
00:00:25,439 --> 00:00:29,442
so you can all feel
appropriately uncomfortable.
10
00:00:36,417 --> 00:00:37,951
Run.
11
00:00:37,985 --> 00:00:41,037
Mr. Wen, not so fast.
Where is Brody?
12
00:00:41,088 --> 00:00:44,157
He's never missed a Monday
morning debriefing before.
13
00:00:44,175 --> 00:00:47,772
Uh, yeah. He had a...
Family emergency.
14
00:00:47,773 --> 00:00:50,997
His dad... came down with
a surprise illness.
15
00:00:51,032 --> 00:00:52,506
That is surprising,
16
00:00:52,507 --> 00:00:55,309
especially since his dad has
been dead for nine years.
17
00:00:57,505 --> 00:01:00,376
Yeah., it's been a real
roller coaster for the family.
18
00:01:01,508 --> 00:01:03,619
Mr. Wen, a very important man
once said
19
00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:06,421
that there are two reasons
a man should risk his career,
20
00:01:06,422 --> 00:01:08,948
neither of which is
covering for a best friend
21
00:01:08,949 --> 00:01:12,152
who is missing work
to be with a girl he just met.
22
00:01:12,186 --> 00:01:15,191
- Who said that?
- I did. Just now.
23
00:01:15,714 --> 00:01:18,387
Quotable
24
00:01:18,726 --> 00:01:22,495
(Cell phone rings)
25
00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:24,344
Hello? What?
26
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,991
- Aah!
- Aah!
27
00:01:26,433 --> 00:01:28,509
It's 9:02!
28
00:01:28,523 --> 00:01:30,263
I'm two hours late for work!
29
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:32,182
I'm two minutes late
for work.
30
00:01:32,312 --> 00:01:34,781
Oh, wow.
We have different schedules.
31
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,820
How did my alarm
not go off?
32
00:01:36,855 --> 00:01:40,357
Well, it did by accident
at 4:30, so I shut it off.
33
00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:43,526
What? That's not an accident.
That's the time I set it for.
34
00:01:43,527 --> 00:01:46,864
4:30? Are you a ship captain?
35
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:50,182
I have a routine, okay?
My alarm goes off at 4:30.
36
00:01:50,183 --> 00:01:52,950
I have three egg whites and
a half-caf coffee with almond milk,
37
00:01:52,983 --> 00:01:54,851
then 9-minute abs,
40 minutes on the treadmill,
38
00:01:54,885 --> 00:01:58,662
6 minutes of hair zhuzhing,
and at work by 6:47.
39
00:01:59,022 --> 00:02:01,487
Why don't you sleep in a little?
Skip the zhuzhing.
40
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:03,556
You never skip the zhuzh.
41
00:02:04,683 --> 00:02:07,542
I've never missed Mansfield's
Monday debriefing before.
42
00:02:07,543 --> 00:02:11,798
Well, tell him I debriefed you
at home... Twice.
43
00:02:12,234 --> 00:02:15,536
Yeah. Mansfield really loves
sex puns.
44
00:02:17,589 --> 00:02:20,909
- What are you looking at?
- Your butt. I gotta bite it.
45
00:02:20,910 --> 00:02:22,376
One time. Two times.
46
00:02:22,411 --> 00:02:24,478
- Five times, then I'm done.
- N-no.
47
00:02:24,529 --> 00:02:26,230
Um, you cannot
bite my butt, okay.
48
00:02:26,281 --> 00:02:27,698
Maybe once.
No, no. I can't.
49
00:02:27,732 --> 00:02:30,618
I have to go to work, okay?
(Laughs)
50
00:02:30,619 --> 00:02:33,151
So what are you doing later? Do you
wanna get some dinner or something?
51
00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,687
Uh, no. Just text me
before you go to bed,
52
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:39,326
and I'll come over
and you can... debrief me.
53
00:02:39,361 --> 00:02:40,911
Wow.
54
00:02:40,996 --> 00:02:43,547
You are either the coolest
chick in the world... (Laughs)
55
00:02:43,582 --> 00:02:45,766
- Or a dude.
- Hmm.
56
00:02:46,172 --> 00:02:47,672
- Speaking of dudes...
- Hmm?
57
00:02:47,673 --> 00:02:49,804
You're wearing my pants,
dude.
58
00:02:49,838 --> 00:02:53,307
Guess I got in your pants
three times.
59
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:56,227
Mm. Up top.
60
00:02:56,311 --> 00:02:59,847
♪
61
00:03:02,161 --> 00:03:05,964
Season 1, Episode 2
"Off to the Races"
62
00:03:06,245 --> 00:03:09,245
Synced by Reef
www.addic7ed.com
63
00:03:09,324 --> 00:03:12,393
Gentlemen,
start your chairs!
64
00:03:12,427 --> 00:03:13,727
(Handles click)
65
00:03:13,762 --> 00:03:16,486
All right, this is for
all of the marbles.
66
00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:20,868
No way. I have been collecting
these marbles all year long.
67
00:03:20,902 --> 00:03:23,471
On your marks!
68
00:03:23,473 --> 00:03:24,805
Get set!
69
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,467
Go!
70
00:03:27,292 --> 00:03:30,044
Whoo!
71
00:03:30,095 --> 00:03:33,013
- Damn it!
- That's how I roll.
72
00:03:33,048 --> 00:03:35,334
It's not fair. You order
all the office furniture.
73
00:03:35,335 --> 00:03:38,020
Obviously you're gonna have
the best chair.
74
00:03:38,987 --> 00:03:41,075
Sorry I'm late, guys.
75
00:03:41,076 --> 00:03:43,283
I, uh, I had
a-a doctor's appointment.
76
00:03:43,315 --> 00:03:46,097
Ohh. And by "doctor,"
you mean Brody
77
00:03:46,098 --> 00:03:48,483
and by "appointment,"
you mean appointment.
78
00:03:48,484 --> 00:03:49,563
Oh! (Laughs)
79
00:03:49,614 --> 00:03:51,063
(Speaks indistinctly) Maybe a little
somethin' like this.
80
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,733
- Bam! Bam! Bam! Come on!
- Ohh!
81
00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:55,769
- Ping-pong! Ping-pong! Ping-pong!
- Whoo! Ping-pong her ass!
82
00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:57,995
What kind of doctor
are you going to?
83
00:03:57,996 --> 00:04:00,667
(Laugh) I was with Brody.
84
00:04:00,668 --> 00:04:02,966
But it's not a big deal.
We're just hanging out.
85
00:04:03,001 --> 00:04:06,710
- Just two friends hanging out.
- Sometimes I sleep over.
86
00:04:06,711 --> 00:04:09,713
Yeah. Two friends hanging out,
sleeping over.
87
00:04:09,714 --> 00:04:11,548
Although the sex has been
phenomenal.
88
00:04:11,549 --> 00:04:13,192
(Voice breaks) Two friends
hanging out, sleeping over,
89
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,178
hurting everyone
around them.
90
00:04:17,248 --> 00:04:19,933
- Hey.
- You okay?
91
00:04:19,967 --> 00:04:21,218
What happened
at the debriefing?
92
00:04:21,252 --> 00:04:23,485
Uh, well, Mansfield quoted
John McEnroe.
93
00:04:23,486 --> 00:04:26,758
And then he asked
if any of us pussies
94
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,788
wanted to punch him
in the stomach.
95
00:04:30,945 --> 00:04:32,946
Oh, he asked where you were,
but I covered for you, bro.
96
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:35,132
- Thanks. Did he seem pissed?
- Uh...
97
00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:37,649
Hard to say.
98
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:41,168
He was smiling,
but was it the smile
99
00:04:41,184 --> 00:04:44,267
of a man whose company
just posted a record year?
100
00:04:44,268 --> 00:04:47,579
Or was it a deeper, sadder smile
that masked the disappointment
101
00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:49,948
he felt in a young man
who is pissing away
102
00:04:49,982 --> 00:04:52,050
a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity?
103
00:04:52,051 --> 00:04:54,786
- I'm guessing both, sir.
- Ya nailed it.
104
00:04:55,810 --> 00:04:58,778
Would you like to punch me
in the stomach?
105
00:04:58,813 --> 00:05:02,081
No, sir. I don't want
to hurt my hand again.
106
00:05:02,116 --> 00:05:04,217
Good call. Follow me.
107
00:05:04,251 --> 00:05:06,419
(Clicks button, door unlocks)
108
00:05:09,862 --> 00:05:12,440
I've been at this company
for 35 years.
109
00:05:12,491 --> 00:05:15,714
Would you like to take a guess
how many times I've been late for work?
110
00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:17,740
- Zero times.
- Less than that.
111
00:05:19,865 --> 00:05:22,300
And that includes the time
I had back surgery,
112
00:05:22,334 --> 00:05:24,447
came in at 9:00 A.M.
the next morning,
113
00:05:24,448 --> 00:05:28,610
and closed a $10 million deal
while I was still high on pain meds.
114
00:05:29,658 --> 00:05:33,020
It turns out the client was
this lamp.
115
00:05:33,821 --> 00:05:35,400
As my father always said,
116
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:38,303
"If you can't be on time,
be early."
117
00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:42,224
Son, as you know, I'm training
you to be my protégé.
118
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:46,483
Now it will be impossible for you
to do that and maintain a relationship.
119
00:05:46,484 --> 00:05:48,262
A wise man once said,
120
00:05:48,263 --> 00:05:51,550
"The greatest things ever achieved
are ones thought impossible."
121
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:57,189
I said that.
122
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:59,908
Well played.
123
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:04,206
Still, I need you to focus 100%
on this job.
124
00:06:04,207 --> 00:06:07,145
Trust me, sir. I can do the job
and do the girl...
125
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:10,536
Date the girl.
126
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:15,140
Well, then anything over 100%,
you can give to the girl.
127
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:19,555
However, it's been my experience
women hate getting zero.
128
00:06:19,662 --> 00:06:21,645
I know you're against
the idea of Jenny,
129
00:06:21,679 --> 00:06:23,613
but I think if you met her,
you'd really like her.
130
00:06:23,648 --> 00:06:25,232
I don't want to meet her.
She is a distraction.
131
00:06:25,233 --> 00:06:26,585
I promise she won't be.
132
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,920
Really? Then what is she doing
here right now?
133
00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:30,196
Jenny?
134
00:06:30,547 --> 00:06:33,690
Right. I see what you did there.
(Laughs)
135
00:06:33,708 --> 00:06:36,626
This is
the Haynes family trust.
136
00:06:36,627 --> 00:06:39,701
I want you to figure out a plan
and have it on my desk by noon.
137
00:06:39,702 --> 00:06:42,087
I'll have it to you by 10:00.
I want it by 7:00.
138
00:06:42,088 --> 00:06:43,889
Ah.
139
00:06:43,890 --> 00:06:46,702
It looks like your ground floor
company has arrived.
140
00:06:46,703 --> 00:06:49,554
Is it a beautiful blonde
with legs for days?
141
00:06:49,555 --> 00:06:51,896
It's a rugged auburn...
142
00:06:53,210 --> 00:06:56,096
With a beard for months.
Go on. Touch it.
143
00:06:56,147 --> 00:06:59,065
Whatever you find in there,
that's yours to keep.
144
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,767
I'm good.
145
00:07:00,852 --> 00:07:03,687
(Snaps fingers)
146
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:10,026
Young man,
you smell like the forest.
147
00:07:11,614 --> 00:07:15,065
- What can I do for you?
- I am with I.T.
148
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:19,302
And I am here to update
your firmware.
149
00:07:19,337 --> 00:07:22,272
- You have six minutes.
- Oh. Good.
150
00:07:22,306 --> 00:07:25,208
'Cause your time is
more valuable than my time.
151
00:07:25,242 --> 00:07:30,246
I get it. We're not so different, though.
I have a job. I have a desk.
152
00:07:30,264 --> 00:07:33,416
I have a drawer
filled with... cash. Okay.
153
00:07:36,304 --> 00:07:39,122
I got a chair. Ohh!
154
00:07:39,156 --> 00:07:40,724
(Chuckles)
(Handle clicks)
155
00:07:40,758 --> 00:07:42,425
(High-pitched voice) What?
156
00:07:43,861 --> 00:07:46,980
Whoa!
157
00:07:47,064 --> 00:07:48,615
What are you doing, bro?
158
00:07:48,699 --> 00:07:50,972
I'm trying to find a place
to take Jenny on a date.
159
00:07:50,985 --> 00:07:54,902
Dude, you don't need to date.
Okay? You do what I do.
160
00:07:54,903 --> 00:07:58,736
You take her back to your place, you throw
back a couple bananas so nobody cramps,
161
00:07:59,494 --> 00:08:04,814
and then you oil up, you throw a tarp
down, you start banging bodies.
162
00:08:04,849 --> 00:08:06,950
You must get laid a lot.
163
00:08:06,984 --> 00:08:10,053
No, but I will be ready
when that day comes.
164
00:08:10,087 --> 00:08:12,525
Look, all you just and I have
done is hook up.
165
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:14,808
I like her. I don't want to do
that "dick guy move."
166
00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:17,978
Wait. What? How do I not know
what the dick guy move is?
167
00:08:18,012 --> 00:08:20,429
Dick guy move is where you sleep
with a girl a bunch of times,
168
00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:22,200
and then say you're not ready
for a commitment.
169
00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:24,525
But then two weeks later,
you get stupid drunk on Tequila,
170
00:08:24,526 --> 00:08:26,504
text her you love her.
Then the next thing you know,
171
00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:28,273
you gotta change your number
and find a new coffee shop.
172
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:30,659
And I loved
that coffee shop!
173
00:08:36,368 --> 00:08:39,104
Hope everybody's hungry.
I brought doughnuts.
174
00:08:39,194 --> 00:08:41,995
Excuse me,
we are working down here.
175
00:08:42,029 --> 00:08:43,580
Marco!
176
00:08:43,631 --> 00:08:45,666
- Post-it!
- Post-it!
177
00:08:45,717 --> 00:08:47,868
Wow. Is this really what
you guys do all day?
178
00:08:47,936 --> 00:08:49,136
No. No, not all day.
179
00:08:49,204 --> 00:08:53,438
We do building maintenance, I.T.,
office supplies, mail distribution.
180
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:56,806
We've been working on this list
of what we do in case anyone asks.
181
00:08:57,723 --> 00:09:01,793
How cynical are you to think you
can buy us off with pastries?
182
00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:04,343
(Chuckles) Am I right, guys?
183
00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:07,612
- Well, I'll hit that.
- I'll hit that like it owes me money.
184
00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:08,814
(Chuckles)
185
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,563
- Brody, you didn't have to.
- Well, yeah, I did.
186
00:09:11,564 --> 00:09:13,544
Otherwise, I would've needed
an awkward segue
187
00:09:13,545 --> 00:09:16,013
before asking you
on a date tonight.
188
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:19,410
Nice hair. You wanna go
on a date tonight?
189
00:09:19,411 --> 00:09:21,025
(Laughs)
190
00:09:21,026 --> 00:09:22,441
Nah.
191
00:09:22,578 --> 00:09:26,897
- Wait. What?
- She said... (Laughs) "Nah."
192
00:09:27,758 --> 00:09:29,799
Hey, no, I just like
what we've been doing.
193
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,868
Yeah, but all we've been doing
is going back to my place,
194
00:09:31,886 --> 00:09:34,045
having hours
of acrobatic sex,
195
00:09:34,053 --> 00:09:36,056
and then going our separate ways
in the morning.
196
00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:38,908
- Yeah, and it's fun.
- So much fun.
197
00:09:38,943 --> 00:09:40,260
(Laughs) But...
198
00:09:40,311 --> 00:09:41,790
If I didn't know any better,
199
00:09:41,791 --> 00:09:43,978
I would start to say that
you are using me for my body.
200
00:09:44,015 --> 00:09:46,016
(Laughs)
201
00:09:46,050 --> 00:09:47,400
That's funny.
202
00:09:47,435 --> 00:09:49,436
So text me, uh,
when you're done with work,
203
00:09:49,487 --> 00:09:50,920
and we can work off
these bear claws,
204
00:09:50,955 --> 00:09:52,939
if ya know what I mean.
(Slaps butt)
205
00:09:52,989 --> 00:09:56,351
Yeah.
I think I cracked that code.
206
00:09:56,352 --> 00:09:57,744
(Mouth full) I mean have sex.
207
00:09:57,778 --> 00:10:00,363
- Oh, yeah. No, I got it.
- (Jenny) Right.
208
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:06,469
Mm, what are we doing? I thought
we were going to get condoms.
209
00:10:06,504 --> 00:10:11,758
Oh. Yeah, we are. They have a great
condom dispenser in the bathroom here.
210
00:10:11,792 --> 00:10:15,045
Wait a minute. Are you trying
to take me on a date?
211
00:10:15,079 --> 00:10:16,312
What?
212
00:10:16,347 --> 00:10:18,907
Me? Pfft.
213
00:10:18,923 --> 00:10:22,018
Mr. Moyer,
your table is ready.
214
00:10:22,053 --> 00:10:25,432
How does she know my name?
We should follow her.
215
00:10:26,957 --> 00:10:28,792
Did you steal
an upstairs chair, man?
216
00:10:28,859 --> 00:10:31,221
- Does it look like it?
- Yes.
217
00:10:31,222 --> 00:10:33,678
Well, then yes, I did.
218
00:10:33,996 --> 00:10:36,447
On your marks!
219
00:10:36,532 --> 00:10:38,583
Get set!
220
00:10:38,617 --> 00:10:39,900
Go!
221
00:10:39,918 --> 00:10:42,086
Whoo-hoo!
222
00:10:42,121 --> 00:10:44,005
Yeah!
223
00:10:44,039 --> 00:10:47,155
Not good! This is not good!
I can't...
224
00:10:47,156 --> 00:10:49,257
(loud crash)
225
00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:55,750
I can't believe you tricked me
into going on a date.
226
00:10:55,784 --> 00:11:00,138
I can't believe I had to trick you
into a date. I'm a catch.
227
00:11:00,189 --> 00:11:05,626
In fact, my aunt Shelly said if I wasn't
her nephew, I'd have to look out.
228
00:11:05,661 --> 00:11:09,177
Look, I'm... I think you're great.
I'm just, um...
229
00:11:09,178 --> 00:11:11,799
The thing is, I'm not looking
for a commitment right now.
230
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,135
Oh, my God.
That's the dick guy move.
231
00:11:14,169 --> 00:11:17,104
- The what?
- The dick guy move.
232
00:11:17,122 --> 00:11:18,706
It's where you sleep with
someone a bunch of times,
233
00:11:18,741 --> 00:11:20,277
and then say you're not ready
for a commitment.
234
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:22,631
Next thing you know, I have to
find a new coffee shop,
235
00:11:22,632 --> 00:11:24,488
and I'm really loving
this new coffee shop.
236
00:11:24,489 --> 00:11:27,548
What? I'm... I'm not the dick guy.
I'm not even a-a guy.
237
00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:31,195
- Really? You sure are acting like one.
- Okay. Well, you need to just calm down.
238
00:11:31,196 --> 00:11:33,137
- Just calm down...
- Don't tell me to calm down. Okay?
239
00:11:33,172 --> 00:11:36,814
Is that why you brought me here,
so I wouldn't make a scene in public?
240
00:11:36,815 --> 00:11:39,650
You brought me!
I just wanted to have fun.
241
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:43,034
Now do you wanna go back
to your place or not?
242
00:11:43,052 --> 00:11:45,420
If you're not gonna care
about me for me,
243
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:47,973
you're not gettin'
any of this.
244
00:11:48,319 --> 00:11:50,320
Oh, my God.
245
00:11:54,908 --> 00:11:58,127
- Is this a bad time?
- It's an excellent time.
246
00:11:58,178 --> 00:12:01,414
I just finished
my 3-mile open ocean swim.
247
00:12:01,415 --> 00:12:03,151
There was
a high surf advisory,
248
00:12:03,152 --> 00:12:05,837
so I had the place
all to myself.
249
00:12:07,156 --> 00:12:09,424
- "The place"?
- The ocean.
250
00:12:10,017 --> 00:12:12,652
- Nature's gym.
- Gotcha.
251
00:12:12,653 --> 00:12:14,704
Anyway, here's the work I did
on the Haynes trust.
252
00:12:14,738 --> 00:12:17,426
You can transfer most of the assets
into a deferred annuity...
253
00:12:17,427 --> 00:12:20,297
Or you could throw it off
the building.
254
00:12:20,543 --> 00:12:23,463
I asked for that at 7:00.
I don't need it anymore.
255
00:12:23,497 --> 00:12:26,804
- But it's 6:45.
- You should know my 7:00 is 6:30.
256
00:12:27,735 --> 00:12:29,635
Sorry, sir. I didn't know
it was time sensitive.
257
00:12:29,653 --> 00:12:33,323
It's time sensitive because I said
it was due at a certain time. And...
258
00:12:33,357 --> 00:12:35,541
Well,
I'm a sensitive little bunny.
259
00:12:37,955 --> 00:12:39,489
It was a test.
260
00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:40,857
You failed.
261
00:12:43,067 --> 00:12:46,686
Well, you'll be happy to know that
Jenny won't be a distraction anymore.
262
00:12:46,687 --> 00:12:50,651
- Turns out she's just not that into me.
- How could she not be into you?
263
00:12:50,652 --> 00:12:52,920
You're a catch.
264
00:12:53,838 --> 00:12:56,679
- I know.
- Have a seat.
265
00:12:56,925 --> 00:13:00,510
I know it stings a little now,
but trust me.
266
00:13:00,561 --> 00:13:05,682
You will be grateful that you didn't
jeopardize your whole career for a fling.
267
00:13:05,716 --> 00:13:08,285
Wow. That wet suit is
form-hugging.
268
00:13:09,643 --> 00:13:11,635
Eyes up.
269
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,368
Thatta boy.
270
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:16,770
I guess I kinda thought
it wasn't a fling.
271
00:13:16,805 --> 00:13:19,715
You know, a part of me thought
maybe she could've been "the one."
272
00:13:19,728 --> 00:13:21,429
Oh, come on.
I'm a romantic myself.
273
00:13:21,463 --> 00:13:25,433
Hell, I have a heart the size
the head of a baby.
274
00:13:25,467 --> 00:13:27,068
I believe in "the one."
275
00:13:27,102 --> 00:13:29,237
In fact, I believe in
a thousand "the ones."
276
00:13:29,271 --> 00:13:32,206
Sir, I'm not sure you understand
the concept of "the one."
277
00:13:32,224 --> 00:13:34,042
There are a lot
of "the ones."
278
00:13:34,076 --> 00:13:36,075
There's the one
you meet in college,
279
00:13:36,099 --> 00:13:37,970
the one you meet
backpacking through Europe,
280
00:13:37,971 --> 00:13:41,468
the one who convinces you that
you actually look good in white jeans.
281
00:13:42,176 --> 00:13:44,577
But the one
you meet in your 30s,
282
00:13:44,611 --> 00:13:47,992
when you've finally made it,
if you're very lucky...
283
00:13:48,638 --> 00:13:50,739
That's "the one" you marry.
284
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,987
You really wore white jeans?
285
00:13:55,022 --> 00:13:58,825
Honest to God,
I wore the hell out of 'em.
286
00:13:58,859 --> 00:14:00,660
I still wish
you could meet her.
287
00:14:00,694 --> 00:14:04,097
I don't and I won't.
I want you to redo the Haynes work.
288
00:14:04,131 --> 00:14:07,750
Have it on my desk end of day.
My end of day, not yours.
289
00:14:07,785 --> 00:14:10,226
Yes, sir.
Is this another test?
290
00:14:10,227 --> 00:14:12,356
Of course it's a test.
Everything's a test.
291
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:13,861
Tests and quality furniture
292
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:17,714
are the only things that
separate from the animals.
293
00:14:20,022 --> 00:14:22,690
Where the hell's my chair?
294
00:14:23,037 --> 00:14:25,973
Yeah, this chair is dead.
295
00:14:26,007 --> 00:14:28,497
What do you mean it's dead? You said
you could take apart any chair.
296
00:14:28,539 --> 00:14:31,791
Yeah, I can. I just can't put
the chair back together.
297
00:14:32,564 --> 00:14:37,234
Do you think I would work here if I knew
how to put chairs back together?
298
00:14:37,285 --> 00:14:39,786
Well, can't we just give
Mansfield one of our chairs?
299
00:14:39,821 --> 00:14:42,456
No, it won't work.
This is a top floor chair.
300
00:14:42,523 --> 00:14:45,742
They have a different ass palate than
we do, and his butt's gonna know.
301
00:14:47,328 --> 00:14:48,965
All right, which one of you
is Jenny?
302
00:14:48,966 --> 00:14:50,849
- Who wants to know?
- You're Jenny.
303
00:14:52,276 --> 00:14:54,580
Well, it makes
perfect sense now.
304
00:14:55,390 --> 00:14:58,092
Brody died, and he asked me
to take care of you.
305
00:14:59,557 --> 00:15:00,959
I'm Tori.
306
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,661
Hey, I follow you on Twitter.
You're @neverendingtori.
307
00:15:03,662 --> 00:15:07,186
- Ha! Yeah.
- How are you hotter than your selfies?
308
00:15:07,382 --> 00:15:09,733
Well, actually, I thought
that all my followers
309
00:15:09,767 --> 00:15:12,006
were either 13-year-old boys
or gay.
310
00:15:12,007 --> 00:15:13,987
Well, I have the fashion sense
of a gay man
311
00:15:13,988 --> 00:15:16,056
and the hormones
of a 13-year-old boy.
312
00:15:16,057 --> 00:15:17,391
Ah.
313
00:15:17,569 --> 00:15:19,370
We should hang out.
314
00:15:19,404 --> 00:15:21,372
If I met you two years ago,
I'd throw a tarp down,
315
00:15:21,406 --> 00:15:23,541
get the oil out,
and eat some bananas.
316
00:15:23,575 --> 00:15:25,709
Ohh.
317
00:15:25,744 --> 00:15:28,512
But I put my man-eating days
behind me.
318
00:15:28,547 --> 00:15:31,582
So here is some free advice...
319
00:15:31,616 --> 00:15:34,597
Just back away slowly
before I change my mind,
320
00:15:34,598 --> 00:15:38,033
unhinge my jaw,
and swallow you whole.
321
00:15:39,291 --> 00:15:42,426
(Shaky voice)
Oh, no, I love you.
322
00:15:45,209 --> 00:15:46,693
Hey, Jenny.
323
00:15:46,727 --> 00:15:51,131
What the hell? Is this place
just crawling with hot chicks?
324
00:15:51,165 --> 00:15:52,916
Thank you.
325
00:15:52,950 --> 00:15:55,286
Okay, well, because of you,
Brody is hurting right now.
326
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,669
Which is crazy
because he's a catch.
327
00:15:57,670 --> 00:16:01,399
And... and you need to know
that if you mess with him,
328
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:02,780
you mess with me.
329
00:16:02,781 --> 00:16:05,349
And if you mess with anybody
down here,
330
00:16:05,383 --> 00:16:06,817
you messing with me.
331
00:16:06,852 --> 00:16:09,052
W-well, I guess we all saying
the same thing,
332
00:16:09,053 --> 00:16:11,688
which is that...
(Shaky voice) I'm leavin'.
333
00:16:14,709 --> 00:16:16,527
Is this Mansfield's chair?
334
00:16:16,561 --> 00:16:20,231
Oh, my God. One of you guys is
so screwed. (Chuckles)
335
00:16:22,551 --> 00:16:25,219
He knows about the chair.
What are we gonna do?
336
00:16:25,270 --> 00:16:28,005
(Whispers) He's gotta die.
337
00:16:28,886 --> 00:16:30,670
Do you know how
to kill people?
338
00:16:30,671 --> 00:16:33,631
You think I would work here
if I knew how to kill people?
339
00:16:34,275 --> 00:16:36,977
You guys, I think I know
who can help us,
340
00:16:36,978 --> 00:16:40,317
but I'm not so sure he wants
to see me right now.
341
00:16:40,368 --> 00:16:42,786
I don't wanna see you
right now.
342
00:16:42,821 --> 00:16:46,457
Besides, why would I help him?
He hates me.
343
00:16:46,491 --> 00:16:48,692
That's true. I do.
344
00:16:48,693 --> 00:16:50,603
Harvard, we practiced
this in the elevator.
345
00:16:50,604 --> 00:16:51,804
Right, yeah.
346
00:16:51,842 --> 00:16:54,577
Brody, um, I know we've had
our differences.
347
00:16:54,612 --> 00:16:56,012
But I think that you're awesome,
348
00:16:56,046 --> 00:17:00,884
and I just hate you so much.
349
00:17:00,918 --> 00:17:03,904
- Are ya high?
- I'm a little high, yeah.
350
00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:08,779
Okay, look, if you won't do it
for him, do it for me.
351
00:17:08,813 --> 00:17:10,792
Why would I help you?
You don't even like me.
352
00:17:10,793 --> 00:17:13,489
You're just using me
for sex.
353
00:17:13,497 --> 00:17:16,654
But I really like you.
That's why I don't want to date you.
354
00:17:16,721 --> 00:17:19,823
- Oh. Okay. That makes no sense.
- W...
355
00:17:19,858 --> 00:17:22,839
Okay, look, you're... you're cute
and you're smart
356
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,707
and you make me laugh
on purpose
357
00:17:24,742 --> 00:17:28,678
and, hey, we wear the same size pants.
(Mouths word)
358
00:17:28,712 --> 00:17:31,981
But relationships in my family,
they just don't work.
359
00:17:32,016 --> 00:17:34,217
My grandma and grandpa,
mom and dad,
360
00:17:34,251 --> 00:17:36,953
mom and stepdad,
stepdad and grandma.
361
00:17:36,987 --> 00:17:40,503
All of 'em ended
really badly.
362
00:17:40,504 --> 00:17:43,543
Yeah, but all relationships end
until the one that doesn't.
363
00:17:43,544 --> 00:17:46,847
- That's the risk.
- Yeah. I don't like risk.
364
00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:50,317
Yeah. Risk is the worst.
365
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:51,885
Put the stapler back.
366
00:17:52,924 --> 00:17:56,221
I do like risk. I risk other
people's money for a living.
367
00:17:56,269 --> 00:17:58,664
I work at a job where I can
get fired without notice.
368
00:17:58,665 --> 00:17:59,980
My favorite board game
is Risk.
369
00:17:59,981 --> 00:18:02,709
- I happen to dominate at Risk.
- I will destroy you at Risk.
370
00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:07,496
But my professional opinion
as an expert risk taker
371
00:18:07,497 --> 00:18:10,946
is that you and I
are a risk worth taking.
372
00:18:11,063 --> 00:18:13,514
Well, I guess there is
something kinda sexy
373
00:18:13,515 --> 00:18:15,761
about dating a guy
who likes risk.
374
00:18:15,791 --> 00:18:17,391
Did I just
hear you say "dating"?
375
00:18:17,426 --> 00:18:19,994
But I still expect you
to put out.
376
00:18:20,012 --> 00:18:24,209
I'm the one who took
Mansfield's chair. Okay?
377
00:18:24,232 --> 00:18:26,613
Doesn't get any riskier
than that, right?
378
00:18:26,614 --> 00:18:28,936
(Door buzzes)
Hello. Magic door.
379
00:18:28,971 --> 00:18:31,889
How high am I?
380
00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:34,392
You and I need to have
a little talk.
381
00:18:34,443 --> 00:18:35,726
I have nothing to hide.
382
00:18:35,777 --> 00:18:38,229
My name is Brody Moyer.
383
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,732
- (Brody) He already knows me, genius.
- (Whispers) Damn it.
384
00:18:47,633 --> 00:18:50,116
You have ten seconds to tell me
where my chair is.
385
00:18:50,150 --> 00:18:51,751
Well, I have something
that you want,
386
00:18:51,785 --> 00:18:55,988
so it appears to me
that I have all the leverage.
387
00:18:56,006 --> 00:18:57,690
I could fire you,
388
00:18:57,725 --> 00:19:01,127
have you arrested,
or simply disappear you.
389
00:19:01,161 --> 00:19:07,000
It appears as though I have
grossly misread the situation.
390
00:19:07,067 --> 00:19:10,169
Actually, sir, he took the chair
for your benefit.
391
00:19:10,187 --> 00:19:12,620
- Really?
- This oughta be good.
392
00:19:13,574 --> 00:19:15,942
He thinks you should have
a standing desk.
393
00:19:15,943 --> 00:19:17,283
A standing desk?
394
00:19:17,314 --> 00:19:21,364
Yes. It's good for your posture, it spurs
creativity, and generates confidence.
395
00:19:21,398 --> 00:19:24,059
As I'm sure you know,
General Patton once said,
396
00:19:24,060 --> 00:19:26,845
"No good decision was ever made
in a swivel chair."
397
00:19:27,921 --> 00:19:30,907
That's a good quote.
398
00:19:30,991 --> 00:19:35,583
All right, I'll buy it, but not really.
And, you... You're on my radar.
399
00:19:35,729 --> 00:19:37,914
Is that a good thing
or a bad thing?
400
00:19:37,965 --> 00:19:39,699
Probably the second one.
401
00:19:45,049 --> 00:19:47,517
Here. Let me get that
for you.
402
00:19:47,518 --> 00:19:49,558
Oh. (Chuckles) Thank you, dear.
403
00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,379
My stepdad always
used to say,
404
00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:55,283
"A man should always keep one hand free
for either catching or scratching."
405
00:19:55,317 --> 00:19:56,916
Mm.
406
00:19:56,917 --> 00:19:58,718
I quite like that.
(Laughs)
407
00:19:58,961 --> 00:20:01,204
- What did you say your name was?
- I'm Jenny.
408
00:20:01,205 --> 00:20:02,972
Oh, shit.
409
00:20:09,767 --> 00:20:11,751
Ah, son. Come on in.
Come on in.
410
00:20:12,201 --> 00:20:15,820
Your friend from the forest
was right.
411
00:20:15,905 --> 00:20:18,145
I may never sit again.
412
00:20:18,311 --> 00:20:22,377
Great. So here's the Haynes trust.
Just in time...
413
00:20:22,411 --> 00:20:27,132
For you to throw it
30 stories to its death.
414
00:20:27,166 --> 00:20:30,765
It's okay. You passed this test.
Rest assured, there'll be more.
415
00:20:30,766 --> 00:20:34,718
- I'll be ready, sir.
- So I, uh, I met Jenny.
416
00:20:35,191 --> 00:20:39,461
We talked, we laughed,
we shared folksy quotes.
417
00:20:39,495 --> 00:20:41,563
- She is delightful.
- Told you.
418
00:20:41,564 --> 00:20:43,627
Well, do you think
I'm surprised?
419
00:20:43,628 --> 00:20:46,484
You care for her, so I knew
she'd be delightful.
420
00:20:46,485 --> 00:20:48,970
That's exactly why
I didn't want to meet her.
421
00:20:48,988 --> 00:20:53,174
Now when your career destroys
this relationship,
422
00:20:53,175 --> 00:20:54,957
we're both gonna feel
horrible.
423
00:20:54,958 --> 00:20:59,651
Tell you the truth, I, um,
I was hoping it'd just be you.
424
00:21:01,849 --> 00:21:04,849
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