1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 -== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==- 2 00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,017 Welcome to Tool Time, 3 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,319 the show that actually teaches you how to improve your home. 4 00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:17,720 Morning, Al. Morning, Tim. 5 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,757 Honey, I'm freezing cold. Feel my hands. 6 00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:23,126 Hi, hey! Ooh, I'll warm 'em. 7 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,662 Here, slip 'em in the Taylor Toast-o-matic Oven. 8 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:29,332 Those babies are colder than a witch's... Tim. 9 00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:30,967 Watching this again? 10 00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,735 Honey, this is destined to become a classic. 11 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,372 Is this the third time you've watched it? 12 00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:37,407 It's got everything... action, drama, latex paint, 13 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,143 and, God, I look good in that vest, don't I? 14 00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:42,312 Ha-ha-ha. No, really, honey, I'm so cold. 15 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:44,147 Would you go down and check the furnace, 16 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,550 'cause I think that the pilot light must be out. 17 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,985 You're saying lighting a pilot's a man's job? 18 00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,854 No, I'm saying it's your job. 19 00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:56,560 Heh. Look, you're afraid to go down in that deep, dark basement, aren't you? 20 00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:58,595 No, I'm not afraid. 21 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,831 I just don't like it, you know, when the furnace goes, "Whoosh!" 22 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,501 All right, I'll light the pilot light if I get a big kiss. 23 00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,035 Do I have to? 24 00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:07,137 You have to. 25 00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:09,239 OK, but only if I really have to. 26 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:10,907 Oh, gross. 27 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,743 It's not even dark yet. 28 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,112 Ignore 'em, maybe they'll go away. 29 00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:17,080 Ha-ha-ha. No, honey. You really... 30 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:19,849 you have to do the furnace now, 31 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:22,552 because Mark's whole scout troop is coming over, 32 00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,588 and I don't want a house of little frozen Cub-sicles. 33 00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,378 Right away. 34 00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:30,026 Dad, Dad, check this out. 35 00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,229 I can tell your future with these cards. 36 00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:33,830 A kid at school showed me how. 37 00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:36,799 I got the three of diamonds. That means I'm gonna be rich. 38 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,336 OK, fourth card from the top's your card. 39 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,337 Deal it, buddy. 40 00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,572 1, 2, 3... 41 00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:48,545 Hah! Ace of spade-os. Read it and weep. What? 42 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:51,403 It's a death card, Dad. 43 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:56,953 Yeah, right. Let me deal those and cut 'em like a man. Arr! 44 00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:59,889 Arr! Arr! 45 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,558 OK. 46 00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:05,061 I can see it now, cars, cash, big homes, boats. 47 00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,585 Death. 48 00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,033 Double death. 49 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:12,502 Yeah? How long do you think I have? 50 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,504 Long enough to light the furnace. 51 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,873 She's right. We got work to do. Down in the basement. 52 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,875 'Cause one day, boys, 53 00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:21,211 you will have a cold woman of your own. 54 00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,413 You have to learn how to light her furnace. 55 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:24,914 Come on, come on. 56 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,684 Follow me. Come on, guys. 57 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:31,655 OK, guys, come on down to the basement, 58 00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:34,291 the climate control central of our house. 59 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:37,026 Now watch what you're doin'. Ow! 60 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,562 Ohh! 61 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:41,320 Ohh! Ohh! 62 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,737 Want you guys to meet a friend of mine... 63 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:51,062 the Binford Volcanomaster 5,000. 64 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:55,144 A quantum leap ahead of the 4,000 model, 65 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,813 which it replaced earlier this year. 66 00:03:56,837 --> 00:04:01,084 This is 150,000 BTUs. 67 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,652 What's a BTU? 68 00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,008 Technical term. 69 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:10,193 Yeah, but what's it stand for? 70 00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:12,895 "U" is because of it's a unit. 71 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:17,100 "B" is because it's a big, beautiful Binford. 72 00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,736 That's "B." "T" is heat. 73 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:24,107 Big heat unit. That's what this is. 74 00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,243 Dad, heat starts with "H." 75 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,444 Gimme that flashlight, will ya? 76 00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:29,846 Dad, heat starts with "H." 77 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,782 Heat ends with "T." Heat. Heat. 78 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,619 Heat. 79 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:38,355 Now, working on a furnace is a delicate operation, 80 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:40,590 almost like working on a time bomb. 81 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:46,229 Wow, that's how he's gonna die. He's gonna blow himself up. 82 00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:47,997 That's not how I'm gonna die 83 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:52,369 because your dad is gonna practice furnace safety tips. 84 00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,704 OK, the access panel here says, 85 00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:57,374 "Press button, hold 15 seconds, and..." 86 00:04:57,398 --> 00:05:00,443 Open your mouth or the shockwaves from the blast 87 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,667 will make your head explode. 88 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:15,592 13, 14, 15. 89 00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:18,127 No explosion. No death. 90 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,698 Why? Why? Because your dad laughs in the face of fear. 91 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:25,302 Ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha. 92 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:29,773 Excuse me, fellas. Jill, set it back to "auto," and the heat is now working. 93 00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:32,041 Ow. 94 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,799 God... 95 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,747 (rustling) 96 00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,416 What was that? 97 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,150 Shh! 98 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:44,020 (whispers) Be very quiet. 99 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,444 (whispers) What is it? 100 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:51,216 I think it's over there behind the boxes. 101 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,865 Boy, I hope it's not that. It couldn't be. 102 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,066 What? 103 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,335 What? 104 00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:01,705 Yesterday at the zoo, I read a panther escaped. 105 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,573 Yeah, right, Dad. 106 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:04,674 I'm not kidding. 107 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:05,675 (rustling) 108 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,577 Don't make any sudden moves. 109 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:10,279 Just head toward the stairs. 110 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,604 It could be anywhere. 111 00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:15,485 It could be... 112 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,620 Aah! 113 00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:20,712 (both) Aah! 114 00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:25,562 Ha-ha. It's just a mouse or something probably. 115 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:28,931 What if it's not a mouse? It could be a snake. 116 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,368 Hey, there's nothing funny about snakes. 117 00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:32,836 Don't joke about that. 118 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:37,841 There's nothing funny about slimy reptiles. Nothing! 119 00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:40,042 Hey, maybe it's a big, huge python. 120 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,078 Enough! Enough! 121 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,913 It's a mouse, a mouse. 122 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:47,384 And, of course, it could be a huge one 123 00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,419 that likes to eat little kids like you. 124 00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:51,976 (all yell) 125 00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:57,427 Hey, hey, do I have to put in speed bumps? 126 00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:58,428 Mom? 127 00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,029 Yeah? 128 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,498 What are we gonna make? 129 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:04,066 I am going to have the whole scout troop 130 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:08,059 make their own paper-bag masks. 131 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:14,911 Is that all? Billy's mom helped us make a real teepee. 132 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,178 She did? 133 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:19,370 Yeah, and she made us beef jerky from raw meat. 134 00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:25,054 Billy's mom is a Stepford wife. 135 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:28,447 You're getting pizza and paper-bag masks. 136 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:34,118 Well, I guess I better put on my uniform. 137 00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,970 Honey, mission accomplished. 138 00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,940 Furnace is lit, operational. 139 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,476 That, however, is the good news. 140 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,645 The good news? What's the bad news? 141 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,280 Well, I can't tell you. You'll probably go crazy. 142 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,416 Oh, please, I never go crazy. 143 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,419 I found something soft and furry that rhymes with "house." 144 00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,054 Oh, God. 145 00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:59,778 There's a famous one named Mickey. 146 00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,593 It's a mouse. 147 00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:07,831 God, a mouse with beady little eyes 148 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,999 and toe-jammy little nails. 149 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,768 Ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh. 150 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,236 Jill, it's just a little, innocent thing. 151 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:17,306 Tim, they are dirty, they carry disease, 152 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,775 they eat garbage. 153 00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:22,645 So do the boys. You're not afraid of them. 154 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,069 Yes, I am. 155 00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,518 (scratching sounds) 156 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,052 You hear that? 157 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,989 Tim, don't! 158 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,992 I thought I heard toenails, toe-jammy things scraping... 159 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,861 Stop it, stop it! 160 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,261 They're so little, and they're so quick, 161 00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:41,263 they just run out anywhere and right up people's backs... 162 00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:42,699 Aah! Just quit it! 163 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:47,003 Hey, hey, it's in the basement. Get off the chair, please? 164 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,772 Would you please just call an exterminator? 165 00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:52,141 Exterminator? Yeah. 166 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,677 Pest control is my domain. 167 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,745 Termites fear me. 168 00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,515 Mice whisper my name. 169 00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:01,651 "Hey, forget it, the cheese. Come back to the hole. It's Tim. 170 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:05,922 Come on, come on. He'll kill you. He'll kill you." 171 00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:08,190 I'll go see if Wilson has any traps. 172 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,826 No, no, don't kill it. 173 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:13,195 From filthy little vermin to your fuzzy little friend. 174 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,898 Where did that start? 175 00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,766 Well, just because I don't like it, 176 00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,635 doesn't mean I wanna see it dead. 177 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:21,459 Otherwise, I'd have set traps for your mother years ago. 178 00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:26,031 Trap wouldn't stop her. 179 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:30,079 She'd just chew her leg off. 180 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,203 Ha-ha-ha-ha. 181 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:35,919 Wilson! 182 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:37,754 Hi-ho, neighbor. 183 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,857 Hey, Wilson, do you have any of those humane traps for mice? 184 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,291 Since when did you become a trapper, Tim? 185 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:45,061 Wilson, I think I heard a mouse in my basement, 186 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,997 and Jill got real freaked out over that itty-bitty thing. 187 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:48,998 Can you believe that? 188 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,333 Well, fear is perfectly natural. 189 00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,903 Everybody's afraid of something. 190 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,606 What about you, Wilson? What are you afraid of? 191 00:09:56,630 --> 00:10:00,509 I do have one underlying fear, Tim. 192 00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:05,615 I'm afraid that reality as we know it is someone else's dream, 193 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:09,185 and... when the dreamer wakes, 194 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,375 I'll no longer exist. 195 00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:19,550 Wilson, I wouldn't share that with too many people. 196 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,632 Back to the trap thing... 197 00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:23,866 Sure, good buddy. 198 00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,335 So you said you heard noises in the kitchen? 199 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,570 No, in the basement. 200 00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:29,138 In the basement. Yeah. 201 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:32,308 You've been hearing all sorts of what, scratching noises? 202 00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:34,877 No. Kind of a more of a rustling. 203 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:36,713 Rustling? Yeah. 204 00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:39,048 Mm-hmm-hmm. 205 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:42,051 Tim, my boy, I don't think you have a problem with mice. 206 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:43,419 Great. 207 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:46,055 No, no, no. It sounds like you might have a snake. 208 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,189 Oh, God! 209 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:48,758 You scared of snakes, Tim? 210 00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:52,695 Ehh, man. Hey, snakes are supposed to live in the woods. 211 00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:54,563 Well, this whole area used to be woods, Tim, 212 00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:57,166 but as man has taken over his habitat, 213 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,335 they've become suburban snakes. 214 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,938 Heh, suburban snakes? Mm-hmm. 215 00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:04,974 They, like, work here, commute back to the woods, is that it? 216 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:09,078 No, they could be right here living in your own backyard, 217 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:12,015 or somebody in the neighborhood could be breeding snakes. 218 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,717 All you need is a cardboard box and a light bulb. 219 00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:17,486 What kind of sicko would breed snakes? 220 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:21,223 Well, Tim, snakes are clean, low-maintenance pets. 221 00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:24,582 Plus, they have a very firm, nutty-tasting flesh. 222 00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:28,564 (door opens) 223 00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:32,135 So, what's the deal, are you gonna set some traps? 224 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,770 Wilson doesn't think we need one. 225 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,805 I'm calling the exterminator. 226 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,007 Why? 227 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,476 He doesn't think we have mice. 228 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,779 Oh, no, it's a rat. 229 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,981 Worse. Snake. 230 00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,504 Snake? Where?! 231 00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:50,853 Oh, no. God, not a snake. 232 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,021 Wait a minute. 233 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,692 Didn't you tell me that you saw a mouse? 234 00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,727 I didn't see it in the visual sense. 235 00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,996 You jerk. You lied to me. 236 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,431 I didn't lie. I was... kidding. 237 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,634 Mom, Dad, come look what I found in the basement! 238 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,336 Just a second, Randy! Kidding? 239 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,339 You were just torturing me with all those mouse sounds. 240 00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,408 Well, come on, what's the big deal? 241 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,210 Everybody likes to be scared. 242 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,712 It's fun. Fun... 243 00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:16,713 Dad. 244 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,614 What is it? Gaah! Look. Ohh! Ehh! 245 00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,183 Holy! 246 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:21,884 I found a snakeskin. 247 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:25,509 Hah! It was fun. You see the fun? 248 00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:33,629 Dad, did you know the deadliest snake in the world is a carpet viper? 249 00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:36,132 It has enough poison to kill ten men. 250 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:39,202 Brad, has that exterminator found anything down there? 251 00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:40,636 Not yet. 252 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,372 Damn. Honey, what's taking him so long? 253 00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,141 Tim, we have a yard full of children. 254 00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,909 We're supposed to be setting an example. 255 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,811 You have got to calm down. Have a cookie. 256 00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:50,546 Hot cookie! Hot cookie! 257 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,314 Sorry, sorry. 258 00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,984 Dad, the exterminator wants to borrow a screwdriver. 259 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:57,820 You know where they are. Open it and get it yourself. 260 00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:59,889 No. You always say not to touch your tools. 261 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,490 You better get it, Mom. 262 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,326 What's he want, standard, Davis, Phillips, flathead, what? 263 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,828 Flathead. 264 00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:07,485 All right. 265 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,605 Find the snake? 266 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,341 Sorry, did my best, but I didn't find a thing. 267 00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:22,544 Nothing cool ever happens around here. 268 00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,014 Randy... You're telling me there's not a snake in this house? 269 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:27,516 It probably moseyed on back outside. 270 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,652 That happens nine times out of ten. 271 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,720 Nine times out of ten. 272 00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,622 Uh-huh. 273 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,892 What happens the other time? 274 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,994 Heh-heh. I tell ya, it's funny. 275 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,896 Those snakes. 276 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,485 Yeah, they pop right up out of the 277 00:13:41,509 --> 00:13:43,565 strangest places. Boy, I could write a book. 278 00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:48,504 Oh, yeah, I've seen 'em curl up inside of teapots. 279 00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,639 Oh, there was one time... 280 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:53,631 popped right up out of the toilet. 281 00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:01,184 Of course, like I said, that's rare. 282 00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:03,252 Hah. Besides, you don't have anything to worry about. 283 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,955 Judging from that skin your boy found, it's not poisonous. 284 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,424 Well, I'll see you, folks. 285 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:12,028 Wait. Wouldn't you like to stay and have a cup of coffee? 286 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,864 I got lots of appointments. Well, toodle-oo. 287 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:15,965 Bye. 288 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,901 Mom, Jimmy Wagner wants to go home. 289 00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:19,969 Why? 290 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,370 He got the death card. 291 00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:22,994 Brad! Randy! 292 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,142 Come on, don't be a weenie. 293 00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,510 Everybody's gotta die sometime. 294 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,646 Hey, guys, get away from him. Come on, go back in the house. 295 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,949 Go back in the house. 296 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,217 You all right? 297 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:35,852 I don't wanna die. 298 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,153 Aw, come here. 299 00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,888 You're not gonna die. 300 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,857 But I got the death card. 301 00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:42,225 Oh, forget the death card. 302 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,227 I got two death cards today, and I didn't die. 303 00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:46,863 They were teasing you. But I'm scared. 304 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,397 Oh, boy, come here. 305 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,300 Everybody's scared of something. 306 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,035 Are you ever afraid? 307 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,703 My dad's never afraid. 308 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,240 He's the bravest man in the whole world. 309 00:14:57,264 --> 00:15:00,843 You guys, all of you, even brave guys get afraid. 310 00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:04,280 You know what a brave man does when he's afraid? 311 00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:05,647 What? 312 00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:09,651 He scares away fear. 313 00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:13,022 Jimmy, you gotta be scarier than fear itself. 314 00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,456 That's what you gotta do. 315 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,791 How do you do that? 316 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:19,929 Well, look at me. Get a real ugly face on. Grr. 317 00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:22,231 Pretty ugly, huh? Arr. 318 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,533 And you look at fear, and you go... you grunt... 319 00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:26,202 Arr-arr-arr! 320 00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,970 Can you try that? 321 00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:29,471 Eh-eh. 322 00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:32,041 That would work if you had just a little fear. 323 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:34,277 It's a big fear. You gotta get a deep-down, manly grunt. 324 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:35,878 Mark, show him what I'm talking about. 325 00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:37,713 Arr-arr-arr! 326 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:40,449 See how scary that guy looks. You guys try it. Arr. 327 00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:42,818 Arr-arr-arr-arr! 328 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,954 Very good, very ugly. 329 00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:47,023 All right, try it. Gimme one good one. 330 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,090 Arr! 331 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,793 I need a real good two in row. 332 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,128 Arr-arr! 333 00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:54,063 All right, three in a row, let's do it. 334 00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,364 Arr-arr-arr. Arr-arr-arr. 335 00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:56,365 Come on, guys. 336 00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:57,533 Arr-arr-arr-arr. 337 00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:00,336 There's no fear here! Get out of here, fear! 338 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,204 (all) Arr-arr-arr. 339 00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:03,306 Dad! 340 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,673 Uhh? 341 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,909 Mom wants you to order pizza. 342 00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:09,511 (all) Pizza! 343 00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,747 Hey, you guys stay out here and practice grunting. 344 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:12,915 I'll get the pizza! 345 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,150 Arr-arr-arr-arr! 346 00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:15,451 Arr-arr-arr-arr! 347 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,786 Number for the pizza place is by the phone. 348 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,178 Thanks, Jill. Ohh... 349 00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:25,794 Hi. How many pizzas will we need? 350 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,264 Uh, four large, but get different toppings. 351 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:32,701 All right. I need four larges with two meat... hold on. 352 00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,903 Is anybody allergic to anything out there? 353 00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:38,374 Jimmy's allergic to everything. Am not. 354 00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,176 All right, all right. 355 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:44,981 Apparently we need a big cheese pizza with decongestant all over it. 356 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,483 I'm kidding around, fella. 357 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,986 All right, two cheese, one with pepperoni and sausage on... 358 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:53,389 Aah! A snake! That is a snake in my house! 359 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,691 It's right there. That is a snake. 360 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,360 OK, everybody quiet down. 361 00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:00,329 Tim, hang up. I'll call the exterminator on the other phone. 362 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,220 Ahh... ahh. 363 00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:05,701 Ohh... 364 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:08,137 Why don't you get the snake out, Dad? 365 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:10,239 Why don't you shut up, Randy? 366 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,941 (all urge him on) 367 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,543 Hey... 368 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,879 Dad, just stick your finger in the light. 369 00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:19,115 When the snake bites it, pull him out. 370 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:22,284 Heh. Can we talk for a minute? 371 00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:24,286 Maybe you didn't hear Dad the first time. 372 00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:26,688 Shut up. 373 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,824 OK, I've got the exterminator on the phone, 374 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,326 but he says he can't come for an hour. 375 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,995 An hour? We're is he gonna crawl in an hour? Who knows? 376 00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:36,332 OK. He says that you should look in the light fixture 377 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,334 and see if the snake is still there. 378 00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:40,269 Right. Can I talk to him for a minute? Yeah. 379 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:43,039 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh. You're right. 380 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:46,475 He says you're supposed to look in the light fixture and see if it's still there. 381 00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:49,478 Me? Oh, no, no, no, no. I think you should do it. 382 00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:50,812 I'm so busy right now. 383 00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:53,516 Tim, get over there and look in that light fixture. 384 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,784 I don't want to. 385 00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,686 Go ahead, Mr. Taylor. 386 00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:00,189 You're not afraid, are you, Mr. Taylor? 387 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,024 My dad's not afraid of anything. 388 00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:04,815 Show 'em, Dad. Show 'em you're not scared. 389 00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:13,602 Ar-ar-ar. Let's get ourselves a snake. 390 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,003 (all cheer) 391 00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,873 All right, all right. Cub Scouts, outside. 392 00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:21,610 Yeah. Right. All right, thanks. Yes, thank you, thank you. 393 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:25,114 Brad, I need a pillowcase out of your bedroom. Hurry up. 394 00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:27,916 OK, what did he say? 395 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,419 Says reach in that little, tiny opening, 396 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:34,356 get that little, tiny snake by the back of his little, tiny neck, 397 00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,125 pull him out of that little, tiny hole, 398 00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:38,527 and put him gently in a pillowcase. 399 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,962 You're gonna do that? 400 00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:41,597 That's his plan. 401 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:42,820 My plan... 402 00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:48,704 I'm gonna rip that light fixture right off that wall, 403 00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,939 shove that into a pillowcase. 404 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:54,543 All right. Brad, stand right there under the light, 405 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,579 and I'll jump that snake right in there. 406 00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,314 No way. 407 00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:01,450 What do you mean, no way? Come on, Randy, help me out. 408 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,773 Heh-heh. Forget it. 409 00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,155 Huh? 410 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,224 OK, I'll do it. 411 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,392 Does that make you happy your mom's doing it? 412 00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:12,394 Fine by us. 413 00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:14,418 Thanks, guys. 414 00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:21,703 Ready? 415 00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:22,893 Ready. 416 00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:24,940 Calm? 417 00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:27,931 No, I can't. 418 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,447 Oh... 419 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,882 Arr-arr-arr. Arr-arr-arr. 420 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,374 Arr-arr-arr. Arr-arr-arr. 421 00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:47,363 Jill, Jill, Jill. I got it. 422 00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:48,730 Arr-arr-arr! 423 00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:51,074 Oh, I got it, I got it, I got it. 424 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:55,404 Yes-sas. 425 00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,295 Arr-arr-arr! 426 00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:01,109 (sighs) 427 00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:04,146 There it is, boys. 428 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,549 Plan your work, work your plan. 429 00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:09,740 The key to success. Heh-heh-heh. 430 00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,923 Dad. 431 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:15,924 Yeah. 432 00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,594 There's a snake behind you. 433 00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,017 Oh, I bet there is. 434 00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:29,471 Dad, he's serious. It's right behind you. 435 00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,895 Did it have the card of death in its mouth? 436 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,379 You know, guys, I fell for that trick this morning. 437 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,415 Toolbox, remember that? 438 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:42,218 And you can take a practical joke too far, you know that? 439 00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:45,387 Dad, we're not joking. It's moving towards you. 440 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:48,746 Why don't I open my shirt and let him crawl right in? 441 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:55,297 Tim, the snake wasn't in the bag. 442 00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:58,100 Because the snake is in my shirt! 443 00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:01,259 Aah! 444 00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:13,382 Here you go, hon. 445 00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:14,483 Hey. Thanks. 446 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:16,017 How you feeling? 447 00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,108 Stupid. 448 00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:24,893 Felt like a jerk in front of those Cub Scouts today. 449 00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,562 Aw, they had a great time, 450 00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:29,820 and they learned some colorful new vocabulary. 451 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:34,303 Here, Dad. I made this for you. 452 00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:35,904 What is it? 453 00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:38,574 It's a snake badge for bravery. 454 00:21:38,598 --> 00:21:41,943 Hey, that's very impressive. 455 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:44,480 Would you wear it on your TV show? 456 00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:46,081 You bet I would. 457 00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:48,884 (kiss) You're a good kid. 458 00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,754 Good night, Dad. Good night. 459 00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:53,822 Good night, Mommy. Good night, sweetie. 460 00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:55,090 (kiss) 461 00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:57,660 Good night, Mommy. 462 00:21:57,684 --> 00:22:01,463 My youngest son gave me a snake badge for bravery. 463 00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:05,801 Well, you did get rid of that snake. 464 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,636 Yeah, but in all honesty, I couldn't have done it without you. 465 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,371 I think it's yours. 466 00:22:09,395 --> 00:22:11,940 Well, we'll share it. 467 00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:15,611 You know, I think we deserve a little pampering. 468 00:22:15,635 --> 00:22:17,479 Hmm? 469 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:21,750 How would you like to have a nice, hot bath with bubbles? 470 00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:24,286 I'd like that... Bubbles. 471 00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:26,210 Ha-ha-ha. 472 00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:46,241 Ehh. 473 00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:47,765 (rings) Whoa! 474 00:22:59,512 --> 00:23:03,425 (woman) Now, we've already seen his hand... 475 00:23:03,449 --> 00:23:05,293 (man) All right. 476 00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:07,496 In 5... 477 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,186 5, 4... 477 00:23:10,305 --> 00:24:10,869 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/93697 Help other users to choose the best subtitles