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00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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Boys, finish your breakfast.
Hurry up and brush your teeth.
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If you miss that bus, you're
gonna be in big, big trouble.
4
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,556
Trouble already?
5
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Guys, pace yourselves.
You got all day to be evil.
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You don't wanna peak too soon.
7
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Give the old man a kiss goodbye.
8
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:28,998
Did you brush?
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Front and back.
10
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Oh, honey, you're going to have to
move my car 'cause I'm blocking you.
11
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Why don't you park on
your side of the driveway?
12
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Bikes. Bikes.
13
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I'll leave these in your car.
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Ok. Bye.
15
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Bye.
16
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,215
Mom... Yeah.
17
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:47,684
Can I ask you something?
18
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Sure.
19
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:52,189
Do you think I
have girls' hands?
20
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:53,823
What?
21
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:59,396
Jason Loomis says I have
hands like his sister, only smaller.
22
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That is ridiculous.
23
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:04,434
Look at these hands...
they're strong, well-defined.
24
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With these hands, you could
be a painter or a surgeon,
25
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:13,643
a concert pianist,
26
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,512
a football player, karate champ,
27
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,714
lumberjack, test pilot...
28
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,583
Thanks, Mom.
29
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(horn honks)
30
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Oh, the bus. Brad,
Mark, bus is here.
31
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Move it! Kiss. (purses lips)
32
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Bye, Mom. Bye.
33
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,524
Kiss.
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00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:29,892
Bye, Mom. Love ya.
35
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:31,595
Love you, too.
36
00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,396
(sighs)
37
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,765
Tim, you still here?
38
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:36,988
Oh, yeah.
39
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:42,161
How long has the
oil light been on, Jill?
40
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Oil light.
41
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,710
The oil light. Next
to the speedometer.
42
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,812
Little red light with
the oil can on it.
43
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,448
Oh, that thing. I don't
know, two or three days.
44
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:54,451
Two or three days?!
It's a warning light.
45
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:57,086
Didn't it occur to you
there might be a problem?
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I thought if there was
a problem with the car,
47
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the light would get brighter
or there would be a buzzer.
48
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:12,536
A buzzer? It's a car,
not a game show.
49
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,539
Tim, the car is running fine.
50
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,474
It used to be running fine.
51
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:18,941
Inside of a car
52
00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:20,510
is an internal
combustion engine,
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00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:24,047
composed of many precision
parts running at a high RPM.
54
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High RPM produces
friction, friction produces heat,
55
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heat is dissipated
by lubrication... oil!
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When the car doesn't
get the oil that it needs,
57
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it tends to seize
up into a rock.
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Are you saying the
car's not running?
59
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:47,226
We now own a 4,000-pound,
four-door boulder.
60
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,074
You mean I can't drive it?
61
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,578
Not unless you're
Wilma Flintstone.
62
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:59,082
OK, Tim, I've cut the
molding to the proper length,
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00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,850
and by using our
miter box here...
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00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,185
It's no good.
65
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:03,653
It's a very good cut, Tim.
66
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,055
I'm not talking about
the cut or the miter.
67
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,158
Something's bugging me,
man. I gotta get it off my chest.
68
00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,628
We don't normally do this,
69
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:15,298
but I wanna talk to
y'all about respect.
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00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:20,169
Respect for the machines
that power our lives.
71
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:21,871
I know this guy that
found out his wife
72
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:25,408
has been driving the car for
three days with the oil light on.
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00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,210
So typical.
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00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:29,613
No respect, none.
75
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:33,438
My wife, she... not my
wife. This guy's wife...
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00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:39,489
didn't even think
about that engine.
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I hear ya, man.
78
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:43,025
You know what I'm talking about?
79
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My wife's the same way.
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Really?
81
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:51,657
Come on down here. Get this
guy down here. Come on! Come on!
82
00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:00,009
Nice to meet ya. Love your show.
83
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,745
Thanks. What's your name?
84
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,968
Jim. My friends call me Jimbo.
85
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I'm Tim. You can call me Timbo.
86
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,788
So, what's on your mind, Jimbo?
87
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:15,659
Well, Timbo, I
work construction.
88
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Yeah. Ar-ar-ar.
Hey, wait a minute.
89
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Sit down here for a minute.
90
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:23,166
Here, grab a stool here.
91
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,335
Plant it and tell me what's
on your mind there, buddy.
92
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:27,771
But I'm really into woodworking.
93
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Great.
94
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,139
I do a lot of carving,
95
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and I just bought myself
a serious set of chisels.
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Probably like the Binford 600
series. You used 'em last week, Al.
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00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,172
Anyway, um...
98
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,822
the other day, I come home,
99
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,591
and there's my wife
out in the garage...
100
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,549
Where she doesn't belong.
101
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:58,501
And she's...
she's prying the lid
102
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:02,238
off a gallon can of paint
with my 3/8-inch Stew chisel.
103
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Oh, jeez!
104
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(all groan)
105
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,932
And they wonder
why we die first.
106
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Can I say something, Tim?
107
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Shop floor's open, buddy.
108
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Pardon me.
109
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Oh, heck, we hooked a big one.
110
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Excuse me.
111
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Hey.
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Name's Kyle.
113
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Kyle, Timbo, Jimbo.
114
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Jimbo. Hey, Kyle.
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Sit down. What's on your mind?
116
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Well, Tim, I enjoy gardening.
117
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I like to grow my
own vegetables.
118
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Can't be all vegetables, man.
119
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:54,223
Looks like you've socked a couple
dozen donuts away or something.
120
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You know it, Tim.
Love my donuts.
121
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:02,231
Anyway, my wife uses
my good gardening tools,
122
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,066
and she leaves 'em in the yard.
123
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:08,438
Tim, every tool I own has suffered
some degree of rust damage.
124
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:11,007
Ohh. If your wife
was here right now,
125
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,275
what would you say to her?
126
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:14,411
I don't know.
127
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,145
I'd probably say...
128
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,502
Ginger...
129
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when you don't respect my
tools, you don't respect me,
130
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so stop it.
131
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I wish I could say
something like that to my wife.
132
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She's got a hundred
bottles in the shower...
133
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:45,174
conditioner and
shampoos and rinses.
134
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,543
What does she
need all that stuff for?
135
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:47,577
(Tim) Yeah!
136
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Yeah!
137
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:49,746
Yeah!
138
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,280
That's nothing. My wife...
139
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,682
Ginger.
140
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:56,486
My wife has these 2
3/4-inch press-on nails.
141
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:59,388
Well, I'm at home
watching Circus of the Stars,
142
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,458
and I hear this tapping.
143
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,159
I look over at the wife,
144
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,795
she's tapping with her
fingernail on the front of her teeth.
145
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,530
Drives me nuts!
146
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,398
You think that's bad, my wife
does a thing in the shower...
147
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:13,503
I top you both. My
wife drools in her sleep.
148
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,705
Oh, disgusting. Ew.
149
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,574
I'm not talking
about a little puddle.
150
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:20,643
I'm talking about hook up
the hose. Let's water the lawn.
151
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:21,778
No, no, no.
152
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,948
Man the lifeboats!
She's drooling.
153
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,650
♪ She's droolin', she's droolin'
154
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♪ Droolin' down the river
155
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,455
♪ Droolin', droolin',
droolin' down the river ♪
156
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,023
Tim! What is it, Al?!
157
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,592
Come on, join
in... ♪ Droolin'...
158
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,059
We only have a few minutes left.
159
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:39,662
Al, we're having an
important discussion here.
160
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:42,220
About drool, Tim?
161
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:45,869
I wouldn't expect
you to understand.
162
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,604
You're not married.
163
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:50,206
Well, enough about
your love life, Al.
164
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,108
Let's get some work. You
guys wanna help me out?
165
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:53,109
Great. Sure.
166
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,076
All right.
167
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,345
We wanna watch Dad's show.
168
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,669
OK.
169
00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:01,317
I hear this tapping...
170
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,786
Hey, Mom, who's that guy?
171
00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:06,990
I don't know. Do you have the right
channel? Here, gimme the thingy.
172
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,290
Yeah, there's Dad.
173
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:10,827
Oh. Well, what is he up to now?
174
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:11,861
Wait. I got you both beat.
175
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,686
My wife drools in her sleep.
176
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,535
Little, either. It's
like hook up...
177
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,870
Boys, I think you should
go upstairs and play.
178
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,006
We wanna watch Dad's show!
179
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,440
I said out.
180
00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:27,944
We only have a
few minutes left, Tim.
181
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,267
It's, like...
182
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:32,949
Tim.
183
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,051
Ah, I know what
you're gonna say.
184
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:40,056
I've already decided I'm not gonna
say another word about the oil light.
185
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:44,160
You made a mistake. Anybody
can make a mistake, and I forgive ya.
186
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,262
♪ She's drooling, she's drooling
187
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,386
♪ She's drooling
down the river ♪
188
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,323
You saw the show, huh?
189
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,606
Tim, how could you do that?
190
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,407
You and I joke
about it all time...
191
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,910
No, you and I joke
about it all the time
192
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,912
in the privacy of our
bedroom, not on television.
193
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,949
Do you have rocks in
your head? Don't you think?
194
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,951
Let's talk about who
doesn't think for a minute.
195
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,953
Who drove around for two
days with the oil light on?
196
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:12,455
Wait. I thought you said you
weren't gonna bring up the oil light?
197
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,557
With all those rocks in my head,
198
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:16,425
sometimes I don't
know what I'm sayin'.
199
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,528
Look, my mistake involved a car.
200
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:22,264
Your mistake involved
a human being, me.
201
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,433
There's a big difference here.
202
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,036
I don't expect you to understand
since you're completely insensitive.
203
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,271
Insensitive?
204
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,941
You didn't even think
about how I would feel!
205
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:35,033
I... I didn't tell
'em everything.
206
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,017
Everything?
207
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:44,042
You know, when you roll
on your side, you gurgle.
208
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:50,281
What, are you saving that
for the Christmas special?
209
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,801
Mommy, I'm worried.
210
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,436
About what, honey?
211
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:04,262
If you drool and sleep on
your back, won't you drown?
212
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,154
No, honey.
213
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,979
Thank you for your
concern. Eat a carrot.
214
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,093
Randy!
215
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,561
It's all over school
216
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:28,698
about what Jason Loomis
said about your girl hands.
217
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,166
Oh, no.
218
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,433
But I stood up for you.
219
00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:33,202
Good for you, Brad.
220
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:35,371
I got you a little something
to make you feel better.
221
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,572
What is it?
222
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:40,342
Passion Pink fingernail polish.
223
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,711
You weenie!
224
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:42,912
Brad Taylor!
225
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:46,504
Hi. What are you doing?
226
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,154
I was thinking about what you said
in the garage about that drool thing,
227
00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,022
and you were right.
228
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,380
I overstepped my bounds,
and I was really insensitive.
229
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:59,495
You notice I paused there
230
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:02,887
in case you wanna
say, "I forgive you, Tim."
231
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,790
It would fit right here.
232
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,072
Or not.
233
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:12,308
Come on, Jill. You ever
gonna talk to me again?
234
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:14,476
I just wanna know one thing...
235
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:18,414
what does my drooling have
to do with home improvement?
236
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:21,405
No one likes to live
in a damp house.
237
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,759
Wrong answer.
238
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:34,663
What does my drooling have
to do with home improvement?
239
00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:37,533
Nothing.
240
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:40,669
So you just got up and said,
"What a beautiful morning.
241
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:43,472
I think I'll humiliate
my wife today"?
242
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:46,508
I was telling stories on
the show with these guys,
243
00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:48,577
and I brought up the oil light,
and we seized the motor...
244
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:52,749
Wait a minute. You told
them about the oil light?
245
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,305
Uh-oh.
246
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,553
Why did you do that?
247
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,321
I don't know.
248
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,690
Why did you go on
TV and humiliate me?
249
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,493
I don't know.
250
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,062
I got a good idea.
251
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:09,698
Why don't you change the
name of your show from Tool Time
252
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:12,556
to My Stupid Wife?
253
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,308
(slams door)
254
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,844
Hi, Wilson.
255
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,412
Hi-ho, Tim.
256
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:27,150
Another glorious
autumn afternoon.
257
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:30,052
Boy, it sure is, and
you're burning leaves.
258
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,655
Occasionally I like to throw
a handful on the old barbecue
259
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:36,959
and just sniff to try to
remember the old days.
260
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:40,062
I got a little problem. Can
I ask a question, Wilson?
261
00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:42,698
Ball is in your court,
Tim. Whale away.
262
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,767
(sighs) I said
something real stupid
263
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:47,670
and embarrassed
Jill on my TV show.
264
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:49,839
Hmm, why did you do that, Tim?
265
00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:52,842
I don't know. I was
talking with the other guys
266
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,611
and we were sharing silly
stories about our wives,
267
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,613
and I had a great
one about Jill,
268
00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,282
and it just came out.
269
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,818
Well, Tim, it sounds to
me like you're a victim
270
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:05,176
of the hierarchal structure
of male conversation.
271
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:11,060
High... harcal. Yeah.
272
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,696
How do you spell that?
273
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,820
Let's just say one-upmanship.
274
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:24,740
See, Tim, men's relationships
are based on status and power.
275
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:26,408
Uhh-uuhh-uhhh.
276
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,712
Men feel compelled
to outdo each other.
277
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:32,315
If one man tells a
story about his wife,
278
00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,817
the next man feels he's got
to tell an even better story.
279
00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:37,053
That was exactly what happened.
280
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:40,957
I got caught up in that
har... hararchal thing.
281
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:44,093
Happens all the time, Tim.
282
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,595
I don't want it to happen.
How do you make it stop?
283
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:50,867
Well, Tim, men have to learn
to compete less and listen more.
284
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:54,603
We have to learn to
start sharing our feelings.
285
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:57,706
Hey, yeah!
286
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,843
Thank you, all. Thank you.
287
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:04,546
A lot of people have said to me, "I saw the
show the other day with all the guy talk.
288
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,182
What was that all about?"
289
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:09,252
Well, mostly, it was about
getting in trouble with our wives.
290
00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,954
No kidding. Ginger's
living with her mother.
291
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:15,791
Well, on today's show, we're gonna
see if we can straighten things out.
292
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,159
All, I got a seat for ya.
293
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:20,151
No, thank you, Tim.
294
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:25,768
Tool Time is more than
just home improvement.
295
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,536
It's male improvement.
296
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,972
An improved male is
more sensitive to his wife.
297
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,941
How do we get sensitive?
298
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,143
By digging deep
down in our emotions
299
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,145
and sharing our
feelings with others.
300
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,335
You guys up to it?
301
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:43,386
I thought we were
gonna get to use the tools.
302
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:46,289
Not today, Jimbo.
303
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:47,957
What are you feeling?
304
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,492
Well, I guess I'm
feeling confused.
305
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,450
I was looking forward
to using the tools.
306
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,232
Any other feelings?
307
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:58,301
I'm feeling... hungry.
308
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:01,737
Hey, good. That's
a good feeling there.
309
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,372
Kyle, how about you?
What are you feeling?
310
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,741
I was feeling fine
311
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:08,599
until Jimbo here said
he was feeling hungry.
312
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,316
Now I'm feeling hungry,
313
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:17,119
and that makes me mad.
314
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,956
Why is that?
315
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:23,926
Because I want a
big old piece of pork,
316
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:27,229
and my doctor
said it's too fatty!
317
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:29,665
What the hell did I have
that bypass for, anyway?
318
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:30,699
Settle down, man.
319
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,634
I want some pork, damn it!
320
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:36,498
All right, all right, all right!
321
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,964
Let's steer clear of the
meat products for a minute...
322
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:45,536
and let's talk about
real emotion... crying.
323
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:50,008
When was the last
time you cried? Jim?
324
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,789
You mean cried cried,
325
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,657
or cry because
something heavy fell on ya?
326
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,759
Once I dropped a
Spinet piano on my foot...
327
00:16:57,783 --> 00:16:59,862
No, no, no. I need an
emotional experience,
328
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:02,898
a deep one that we
can share with all of us.
329
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:06,402
Well, ahem, now
that I think of it,
330
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,904
there was one time
when I almost cried.
331
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,328
Let it go, man.
332
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,144
It was 1968.
333
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:18,180
The Tigers won the World Series.
334
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,248
Oh, man!
335
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:20,682
(all talk at once)
336
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,985
There was, like,
six home runs...
337
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:24,786
Whoa, talk about emotions...
338
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:27,156
'84, they took the
Padres. Remember that?
339
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:30,092
No comparison. I'm talking
'68, when baseball was baseball.
340
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:31,460
You got that right, man.
341
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:35,731
Tiger Stadium used to serve
up a great pork sausage.
342
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:38,100
I tell you, now
you go out there,
343
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:40,702
for a $1.85, what do you get?
344
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:41,904
I know what you're talkin'.
345
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:45,341
A hotdog! Two bites,
and it's gone, huh?
346
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:48,177
You gotta burp to find
out what it tastes like!
347
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,513
(all cheer in agreement)
348
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:55,473
Oh! Oh, good night,
nurse. I'm spent.
349
00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:57,619
Oh...
350
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,388
Uh, Tim...
351
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,856
You want to get back to work.
352
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,193
No, Tim, I was thinking about
what you said the other day,
353
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:07,863
about how I wouldn't understand
what you were talking about
354
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,665
until I was married.
355
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:10,666
So?
356
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,334
Made me feel like
I was desperate,
357
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:15,538
like I would never be able to
find someone who'd marry me.
358
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:18,207
I didn't... That's
not what I meant.
359
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:21,432
I just wanted you to
know that it really hurt me.
360
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:28,850
Hey. Hey, hey, hey,
Al just shared a feeling.
361
00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:31,587
That-That... yeah, that's...
362
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:35,191
Why don't we get to that circular
saw now? That's what we ought to do.
363
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:37,359
Well, you have a
wife and a family.
364
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:39,361
You have no idea what it's like
365
00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:42,198
coming home to an empty
one-bedroom apartment every night.
366
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,200
You got a
great-looking apartment.
367
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:46,469
I been there. It's nice.
368
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:49,271
Well, I just think you
wouldn't kid me so much
369
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:52,608
if you knew, well, just
how very, very lonely I am.
370
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:53,931
(sobs)
371
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,651
I'm going back to my seat.
372
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,142
No kidding.
373
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,180
Al. Hey, buddy...
374
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,763
It's male improvement.
375
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:17,899
The improved male is
sensitive to his wife's needs.
376
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:19,835
And how do we get sensitive?
377
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:22,271
By reaching down deep,
getting in touch with our emotions,
378
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,939
and sharing our
feelings with others.
379
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:27,632
(engine starts and runs)
380
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,648
Yeah! Yeah!
381
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:33,649
All right, Dad!
382
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,317
Yeah, you did it, Dad!
383
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,719
You got the car
running. Excellent.
384
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:38,987
Yeah! Yeah!
385
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,011
Whoo! Ohh!
386
00:19:42,948 --> 00:19:46,828
Master mechanic
triumphs. Arr-arr-arr.
387
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,698
Dad did an awesome
job, didn't he, Mom?
388
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:51,367
Yeah, yeah, he really did.
389
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:53,902
Boys, why don't you go
wash up before dinner?
390
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,404
OK.
391
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:56,527
OK.
392
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:08,784
So you, uh, put a lot
of work into that car?
393
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:13,556
Not really. Just had to remove
the damaged short block,
394
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,924
get all the damaged parts
out, got a new short block,
395
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,893
had it milled and bored for me,
396
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:20,596
new piston rings, connecting
rods, main bearings,
397
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,731
oil pump, fuel pump, water pump,
398
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:25,167
upper motor, polish
and port the heads,
399
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:28,192
uh, new canooter valve,
rewired it, add more...
400
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:34,776
add a little more power,
but that's about it, hon.
401
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,813
I didn't realize
that little oil light
402
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,815
could be such a big problem.
403
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:42,685
It's just a car, honey.
404
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:45,387
It's not a human being.
405
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:48,390
It's not like the human being
406
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,748
I love more than
anything else in the world.
407
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:57,666
You know why I like tools?
Because they fix things.
408
00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:00,202
You tear down a
motor, see the problem,
409
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:03,239
it's right there,
boom, it's fixed.
410
00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:06,408
I wish I could fix things
between us that easily.
411
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:09,111
Is that an apology?
412
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:12,448
I don't think I can
apologize enough
413
00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:15,284
for the things I do.
414
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:19,821
All I can offer is a lifetime
of groveling at your feet.
415
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:23,180
Ha. That'd be a start.
416
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:26,228
I promise, in the future,
417
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:28,664
I will always
put oil in the car.
418
00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:31,567
And I'll say nice
things about your hair.
419
00:21:31,591 --> 00:21:33,001
While groveling?
420
00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:34,825
You bet.
421
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:43,712
I'm, uh, I am prepared
to offer cash gifts.
422
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:45,414
Arr.
423
00:21:45,438 --> 00:21:46,582
Arr.
424
00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:48,406
Arr-arr-arr.
425
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:02,298
Al.
426
00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,754
Tim.
427
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,059
So?
428
00:22:10,129 --> 00:22:11,562
So...
429
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:15,599
Hey, that's a nice-looking
shirt. Brand-new?
430
00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:21,772
No, it's an old one.
431
00:22:25,611 --> 00:22:27,545
Well, it looks
really good on you.
432
00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:33,684
Thanks.
433
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:42,660
Hey, maybe some girl'll see you
in that shirt and wanna marry you.
434
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:51,335
Thanks, Tim, I appreciate that.
435
00:22:59,579 --> 00:23:01,945
Arr-arr.
435
00:23:02,305 --> 00:24:02,560
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