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Well, while we let that
cream softener dry,
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I want to ask you a question.
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When you're pounding
those finishing nails,
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do you end up hitting your thumb
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more than you hit
the head of the nail?
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Sure you do. Tool
tip from old Tim
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is use a household
bobby pin to hold the nail.
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You secure it. No problem.
Al, you want to hold that for me?
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Tim, the point of the bobby
pin is that you can do it yourself.
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But, Al, you're such an
important part of the show,
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I want your help.
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(screams)
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Good reflexes, Al.
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You play lacrosse or something?
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There you go.
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We've set the nail,
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and no one's injured
any appendages.
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Well, before we say goodbye,
we get tons of cards and letters,
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and I'd like to share a
real special one with you.
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Thank you, Al.
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Lisa?
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Here you go, Tim.
Special delivery.
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This one's from Rock
Lannigan of Bay City.
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00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,235
OK. Thank you, Lisa.
26
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Rock writes, "Dear Tim,
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"I'm the foreman for K&B Construction
Company up here in Bay City.
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"My crew and I
watch you all the time.
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"We love your clothes,
especially the eclectic Italian look
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with the triple-pleated slacks."
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Thanks, fellas.
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He goes on to say,
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"Anyway, my crew and I
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"put in a damn hard
American day's work,
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and we get tired of eating a
cold lunch out of a metal pail."
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And who wouldn't?
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"So we did something about it.
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"We started cooking
hot gourmet meals
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"right on the job site
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"using the tools of the trade.
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"Me and the boys call this
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'cooking a meal with
power and steel.'"
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Ar-ar-ar.
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(laughter)
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This is an inspiring letter,
a very inspiring letter,
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so inspiring I invited these
guys from K&B Construction
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down here to Tool Time
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to demonstrate cooking a
gourmet meal on the job site.
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So don't miss us next time when
we will do cooking with what?
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(all) More power!
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You're right. See you next time.
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(cheers and applause)
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Hey, Dad, they just
vaporized the whole building.
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Did they get the general yet?
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Yeah, just now.
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I missed my favorite part.
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That's where they suck
the blood out of his head.
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Ugh. You're not watching
Red Planet Death again?
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00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,320
(explosion on TV)
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No, honey, no.
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This Madame Butterfly,
the Backstage Look.
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What are you looking for?
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Jalapeño peppers.
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I'm gonna make up some
of that four-star, Happy Trails
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rootin'-tootin' chili of mine.
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I don't know about the rootin',
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but there'll be
plenty of tootin'.
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Just consider yourself lucky
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I'm not making
my rip-roarin' chili.
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(laughs)
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Mom, look at what
I colored for you.
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Ohh. Honey, that's beautiful.
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Oh, that's some
good-lookin' airplane.
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It's not an airplane. It's Mom.
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I... I thought those
were propellers.
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They are.
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(imitates propellers whirring)
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We're going to the park.
Can I come with you?
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No, you're not coming with us.
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Hey! Hey, hold it there.
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There is no reason that
you can't take him with you.
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Mom, we don't
want people to know
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we have a geek for a brother.
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Brad, take your brother
to the park with you.
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All right.
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Get your coat, doofus.
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We'll meet you out here.
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Jill, where is that Happy
Trails chili cookbook of mine?
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Why do you need a cookbook?
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You're just gonna dump in
whatever you want anyway.
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00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:55,071
Yeah, I wanna throw
the book in there.
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Maybe those pages
will soak up the extra oil.
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(laughs)
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Mom, Brad and
Randy left without me.
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Well, those little sneaks.
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Here, I'll take you to
the park myself, honey.
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That's OK. I'll just go upstairs
and play with my trucks.
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What are we gonna do
about Brad and Randy?
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They keep tormenting Mark.
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That's why we had Mark...
so they'd leave us alone.
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You just don't know the kind
of things that they do to him.
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Like, a couple of days ago,
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I made him a chunky
peanut butter sandwich,
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and they told him
that the chunks
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were ground-up rat bones.
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So?
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Older brothers torment younger
brothers. It's the way of the world.
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I did it to my younger brothers.
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This kid's gotta learn how
to deal with this by himself.
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I don't believe that older
brothers have a special privilege
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to be obnoxious little pigs.
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(imitates pig grunt)
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No, I think that you and I should
get together as a parental unit
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and have a nice long
talk with Brad and Randy
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about their behavior.
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These are kids without central
nervous systems, all right?
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We have to learn how
to out-torment them.
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Oh, I see. Stoop to
their level. Exactly.
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You want to teach Brad
and Randy a lesson?
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Tonight when I'm cooking that
chili, I'll cut up this cauliflower,
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and we'll tell them we've
got rabbit brains in there.
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No. No. We're
gonna talk to them.
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We'll just tell them how much
they're hurting Mark's feelings
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and how much that
behavior disappoints us.
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And if that fails... yeah.
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Ol' Peter Cottontail
hops right into that chili.
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Come on, Mom, we
wanna go back to the park.
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Boys, sit down there. Your mom
has something she wants to say to you.
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I believe we have something
we both want to say to them.
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Yeah, right.
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OK, whatever your mom
is saying, I'm saying it.
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It's just that she's
the one saying it,
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which doesn't mean that I'm
not saying what she's saying.
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Say what I'm saying.
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Uh, you guys promised Mark
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that you would take
him with you to the park,
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and then you ran
off and left him here.
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We waited in the backyard,
and he never came.
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You waited five seconds.
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You didn't say how long we
had to wait. Don't get smart.
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Hey, I think you're
missing the point here.
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We are a family.
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If one of us is hurting,
we're all hurting.
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If you hurt Mark's feelings,
you also hurt my feelings
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and your father's
feelings, right, Tim?
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Right.
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00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:34,597
And, Tim, I think
you have something
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that you want to say here.
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You guys like cauliflower?
150
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Tim...
151
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All right, all right,
all right, all right.
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However much fun you think it is
153
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to torment your younger
brother, it's wrong.
154
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,715
But, Dad, what about
all those terrible things
155
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you did to Uncle Steve?
156
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He's your younger brother.
157
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:01,057
Uncle Steve is a
major pain in the...
158
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,059
This is different.
159
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:04,260
Why?
160
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:06,596
Because Steve knew I
was kidding, that's why.
161
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:11,400
Well, then, why doesn't he
come to any family reunions?
162
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:15,472
'Cause he lives so far away.
No, he doesn't. He just lives right...
163
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,139
Hey, hey, you know...
164
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,208
We're not talking
about your Uncle Steve.
165
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We're talking about you two.
166
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That's right,
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and we want you
to start treating Mark
168
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the way that you
would like to be treated.
169
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,720
You know, that old
"golden rule" thing?
170
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:34,323
OK. We're sorry.
171
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,959
Honey? Yeah.
172
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,460
What are you doing?
173
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:40,262
I'm looking for something
to put that chili in.
174
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:43,466
How about a trash bag?
175
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:46,469
I'm looking for that big pot
we take on cookouts with us.
176
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,004
Oh, OK.
177
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,907
I think that our talk with
Brad and Randy really helped,
178
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:54,771
'cause they've been really
nice to Mark for almost an hour.
179
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:58,414
Whoa! Look at this thing.
180
00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:01,372
That old strobe light I
had in my dormitory room.
181
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:06,389
(laughs)
182
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,558
Very groovy and far out, man.
183
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:11,049
And it wasn't even
on half the time.
184
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:18,134
Whoa! All these
old eight-track tapes.
185
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,169
"In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."
186
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,839
♪ In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby ♪
187
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:26,475
OK, smart guy, who sang
"In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"?
188
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,477
I just was. ♪
In-a-gadda-da-vida ♪
189
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,913
(imitates drums)
190
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,849
Who sang "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"
so people wanted to hear it?
191
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:35,018
You are an evil woman.
192
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,119
"Evil Woman," sung by
Electric Light Orchestra,
193
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:39,689
1976.
194
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:40,857
Lucky guess.
195
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,692
Luck. Luck. Skill.
196
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,794
All right, brainiac. All right.
197
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:48,264
Who... who sang "Play
That Funky Music"?
198
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:51,400
Wild Cherry, also 1976.
199
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,571
Released on the
Epic label. Come on.
200
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:58,307
"Come On." Tommy
Roe, 1964. Stop.
201
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,810
♪ ...in the name of love ♪
202
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:04,246
Supremes, 1965. Let's face it.
203
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,649
When it comes to
this song title stuff,
204
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:10,053
I am the high priestess of pop.
205
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:12,722
Well, I'm pretty good
myself. Oh, yeah?
206
00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:16,025
Name the first song that
we ever slow-danced to.
207
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,061
What?
208
00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:21,831
Name the first song that
we ever slow-danced to.
209
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:22,999
I'm waiting.
210
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,134
Gimme a minute. Gimme a minute.
211
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,169
We were at The...
The Glitter Ballroom.
212
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,270
Mm-hmm.
213
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,606
We were dancing close.
214
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,608
You had an angora
sweater on. Mm-hmm.
215
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:34,276
Doused in Shalimar or
something. Yeah. Yeah.
216
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,913
I had just the right
amount of Jade East on.
217
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,247
(laughs)
218
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,249
Our bodies were pressed close.
219
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,318
Tim, what was the
name of the song?
220
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,988
Did it have the words
"cold shower" in it? (laughs)
221
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:48,758
No, but if you think of
the song, I'll be upstairs.
222
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:49,993
Oh, uh...
223
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,528
"Touch Me in the
Morning," Diana Ross.
224
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,530
I'll touch you in the afternoon
225
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,921
if you think of the
name of the song.
226
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,871
I remember the
song that we heard
227
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:05,215
when we were in the back of my
Corvair and steamin' the windows.
228
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,500
So do I... the "Minute Waltz."
229
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,549
Throw it to me.
230
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:16,975
Forget it. You
got us in trouble.
231
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,157
Mom said you're
supposed to be nice.
232
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,961
You see Mom anywhere
in this backyard?
233
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,829
Now, get lost.
234
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:30,199
But you've got to play
with me. We're brothers.
235
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,157
We're not your brothers.
236
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:35,872
Yes, you are.
237
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,963
I'm gonna let
you in on a secret.
238
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,413
We're aliens from outer space.
239
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,482
You're a big, fat liar, Randy.
240
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:49,285
My name isn't Randy.
241
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,142
It's Zelnot.
242
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:55,291
And I'm Zorton.
243
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:58,527
No, you're not. You're
Brad and Randy.
244
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,018
No.
245
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:05,935
Brad and Randy are gone.
246
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,437
We sucked the blood
out of their brains
247
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,974
and took over their bodies.
248
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,210
We have many powers.
249
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,579
We can read minds.
250
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,715
No, you can't.
251
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,504
I'll prove it.
252
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,285
Zorton...
253
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:25,844
Talk to me, Zelnot.
254
00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:32,095
I'm thinking of a number
between one and ten.
255
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,562
What is it? Four.
256
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,286
That's right.
257
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:39,635
How'd you do that?
258
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:42,504
(monotone) Grabijee
graynoot nonneet. Wongert.
259
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:45,208
I'm telling Mom and
Dad. You're in big trouble.
260
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,009
Hey...
261
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:49,134
They're not your mom and dad.
262
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,852
They're aliens, too.
263
00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:57,553
Are not.
264
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,188
Are too.
265
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:01,523
Our spaceship's coming
to pick us up tonight.
266
00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:02,759
Yeah...
267
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,927
Then we're gonna
leave you here all alone
268
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,896
for the rest of your life.
269
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,397
You don't scare me.
270
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,066
(Randy) Hold it!
271
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:13,370
Better walk backwards
until after we leave tonight.
272
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:16,072
Why?
273
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,074
Because aliens
can't suck your blood
274
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:20,342
if you're walking backwards.
275
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:24,769
Yeah. Our real lips are
in the back of our heads.
276
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:52,574
Mark, what are you doing?
277
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:55,077
Nothing.
278
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:56,813
Why are you walking backwards?
279
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,781
You could hurt
yourself doing that.
280
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:02,118
Better than getting all
my blood sucked out.
281
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,520
He's got a good point there.
282
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,689
Have you been
talking to your brothers?
283
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,991
What have they
been telling you now?
284
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,493
They say you're
all from outer space.
285
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:14,430
Honey, you know that's not true.
286
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:17,722
Jill, sometimes you wake up
early in the morning, you look...
287
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,708
They say you have lips
in the back of your head.
288
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:28,666
Jill, sometimes you
wake up early in the m...
289
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,481
Mark, come here. Come here.
290
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,983
Now, look here.
291
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,784
Do you see any lips there?
292
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,920
Not really.
293
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:40,156
There, see?
294
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:44,227
You have got to stop
listening to those two.
295
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:46,217
Come here and give me a hug.
296
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:50,867
You want to go and get
yourself some earth juice?
297
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,223
Yeah.
298
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:56,239
Aliens. Those guys
never stop. I give up.
299
00:14:56,263 --> 00:15:00,609
It's time for the Master
Tormentor to take over.
300
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,346
If you want to torment them,
301
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:06,182
you should just
ground them with no TV.
302
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,184
Ha!
303
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:11,420
That would be a
penalty for earthlings.
304
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:14,023
We need a penalty
suitable for aliens.
305
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:17,226
OK, I am behind you... I think.
306
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,896
Are you gonna make Brad
and Randy say they're sorry?
307
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,730
Well, you have two choices.
308
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,832
We could either
make them apologize...
309
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,623
or we could get even.
310
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,704
Get even.
311
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:29,772
That's my boy.
312
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,808
(both) Ar-ar-ar-ar-ar-ar!
313
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:36,145
Last time I promised
construction site cooking.
314
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:39,748
That's why I invited the guys from
K&B Construction down here on the set.
315
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,717
Rock Lannigan...
316
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,219
Dwayne Hoover...
317
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:44,420
and Pete Bilker.
318
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,055
How you doing, Pete? Hi, Tim.
319
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,423
Nice beard.
320
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:50,893
Well, thank you, Tim. I,
uh, grew it because of Al.
321
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,350
He's my hero.
322
00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:59,068
Yeah, mine, too.
323
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,070
Rock, what have
you got for us today?
324
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:03,072
Well, Tim, I'm a riveter.
325
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:05,641
I work way up on the
high steel, and I'll tell you,
326
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:08,144
it makes it darn hard to
get a hot lunch up there,
327
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,313
but I've come up with
a quick and easy way
328
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:12,481
of making a delicious
grilled-cheese sandwich.
329
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,850
Hear my stomach growling?
330
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:16,852
You're gonna love this one, Tim.
331
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:18,854
The fellas call it
"Cheddar a la Rock."
332
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:19,989
All right.
333
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,291
I use only sharp
Wisconsin cheese,
334
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,493
because, after
all, in Wisconsin,
335
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:27,330
cheese is cheese.
336
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,531
American cheese
from American cows.
337
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:32,134
Moo-ah!
338
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,735
Look out!
339
00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:37,773
I spread on a generous
dollop of Oleo...
340
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,775
with my trowel,
341
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,777
then I take the cheese
342
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,779
and I stick it
between the bread.
343
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:46,215
Good place for it.
344
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:47,738
And then I...
345
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:53,022
Tim, I kinda hate to give
this little secret away.
346
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,723
Oh, come on, Rock. Let it go.
347
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:56,425
It's a Tool Time
crowd. Ar-ar-ar-ar...
348
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,060
(all) Ar-ar-ar-ar...
349
00:16:58,084 --> 00:16:59,428
All right, all right.
350
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:00,829
Pete.
351
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:04,867
I sprinkle on a little
oregano for flavoring...
352
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,869
and then I fire it up.
353
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,871
What do you use
to heat that with?
354
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:11,874
Well, that's one of the secrets
of cooking on the job site, Tim.
355
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:13,876
I go straight for my blowtorch.
356
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,678
And that's no
ordinary blowtorch.
357
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:20,682
That's a Binford 3000
turbo ignition switch torch.
358
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:25,121
(audience cheering)
Yeah, you betcha, Tim.
359
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,788
See, the trick...
360
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,590
you gotta toast it
361
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,592
nice and evenly on both sides,
362
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:32,594
so that you seal in
363
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,596
that delicious Wisconsin flavor.
364
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,754
Try that, Timmy.
365
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,141
It's hot! Ohh!
366
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:49,200
Might wanna let that cheese
cool down a little bit there.
367
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:53,215
Ahh-ahh. Thanks, Al.
368
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,017
Dwayne, what do you have for us?
369
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:58,187
You know, I'm out on
the job site, way out,
370
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:01,223
nowhere close to your
ordinary kitchen utensils,
371
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,426
so I got to improvise.
372
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,027
Now, this here...
373
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:09,731
is the dipstick off
my '87 2-ton pickup.
374
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,301
With this I make my
Southern specialty...
375
00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,792
Shish Ke-Billy Bob.
376
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:21,843
Now, the important
thing to remember, Tim,
377
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:24,246
before you start cookin',
378
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:28,084
get all that oil
off the dipstick.
379
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:30,652
Now...
380
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:33,922
I like to alternate my
meat and my vegetables.
381
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,125
How do you feel about that, Al?
382
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:39,049
I'm still thinking about
that dipstick, Tim.
383
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,767
I prefer to use USDA
choice cube steak,
384
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,704
pearl onions, green peppers,
385
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:52,708
and just a touch of
summer squash for color.
386
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:56,501
No need to make mealtime
a drab affair, huh, Tim?
387
00:18:58,004 --> 00:18:59,915
Perish that thought, Dwayne.
388
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,917
Now, for the seasoning,
389
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:04,320
I turn to my assistant Pete.
390
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:08,290
That would be me.
391
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,192
I like to...
392
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:13,095
lightly dust the kebab
393
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:16,532
with... just a hint of sage
394
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:19,335
and some tarragon.
395
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,370
Well, I prefer rosemary, but...
396
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,606
Dwayne, rosemary's
much too harsh...
397
00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:26,830
Pete, this is neither
the time nor the place.
398
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,650
Now, ordinarily, Tim,
399
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:37,719
I would wrap this in tin foil
and put it on a hot engine,
400
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:40,256
but we don't have
time for all that.
401
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,258
Here, hold that, Al,
will you? Thank you.
402
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:43,992
Now, Pete's got one...
403
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:47,963
Pete's got one all cooked
up and ready for us to taste.
404
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,465
There you go, Tim.
405
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,255
Give that a whirl.
406
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:56,605
There. How do you like that?
407
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:59,241
It's delicious.
408
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:02,933
I detect a hint of 10W30
on that thing, though.
409
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,191
Dad? Dad, Brad and
Randy are coming.
410
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:17,193
(Tim) All right, son, all right.
411
00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:20,196
The Master Tormentor is ready to
teach them a lesson they'll never forget.
412
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,198
Now, the spaceship
will be here any minute.
413
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:24,733
You know the plan. Now,
get out of here. Go, go, go.
414
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,735
OK, this is gonna be great.
415
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:29,305
First we'll get him
down on his knees,
416
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:31,973
then we'll get him
to close his eyes,
417
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:35,010
then we'll sneak back in
the house and lock him out.
418
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:38,146
Look, he's out
there waiting for us.
419
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,070
What a geek.
420
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:46,043
Mr. Zelnot, where's
the spaceship?
421
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:50,192
It'll be here in two minutes.
422
00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:52,194
We have to wait over here.
423
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:53,696
Yeah, and remember,
424
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,699
when your mom and dad
come out, say goodbye real fast.
425
00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:59,435
But don't hug them,
or your arms will melt.
426
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:03,205
Yeah. Now get down on your
knees and close your eyes,
427
00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:06,275
and whatever you do, don't move,
428
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:08,932
or your skull will cave in.
429
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:13,738
(♪ Iron Butterfly,
"In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida")
430
00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,344
What is it? I don't know.
431
00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:25,394
♪ In-a-gadda-da-vida...
432
00:21:25,418 --> 00:21:27,496
(shouts)
433
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,799
(both scream)
434
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:34,403
♪ In-a-gadda-da-vida...
The other door!
435
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:39,641
♪ Don't you know that
I'll always be true? ♪
436
00:21:39,665 --> 00:21:41,710
(both scream)
437
00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:44,535
Help, Mom! Let us in!
438
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,972
(Brad and Randy screaming)
439
00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:54,957
Well... I think the Master
Tormentor has done his job.
440
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,559
And now I have a
little surprise for you.
441
00:21:57,583 --> 00:21:58,949
Oh, yeah?
442
00:22:03,356 --> 00:22:05,000
Let's see.
443
00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:08,136
(♪ Harry Nilsson, "Without You")
444
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,473
(chuckles) You remembered.
445
00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:14,409
Harry Nilsson, "Without You."
446
00:22:14,433 --> 00:22:15,810
That's right.
447
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:17,902
I'd be a whole lot happier.
448
00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:21,449
I'm just kidding. (chuckles)
449
00:22:21,473 --> 00:22:23,385
The Master Tormentor
450
00:22:23,409 --> 00:22:25,387
is now the Master Rememberer.
451
00:22:25,411 --> 00:22:28,390
Tell me something. Did you do
all of this to teach them a lesson
452
00:22:28,414 --> 00:22:30,893
or just 'cause it was really
fun? What do you think?
453
00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:33,628
I think it was really fun, but I
don't think they learned a thing.
454
00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:35,197
I think you're wrong.
455
00:22:35,221 --> 00:22:38,233
I think those boys have
learned a valuable lesson,
456
00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:41,236
and they won't be messing
with anybody for a long time.
457
00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:44,273
(all shout)
458
00:22:44,297 --> 00:22:46,375
Back to bed, boys.
459
00:22:46,399 --> 00:22:50,612
♪ When I think of
all my sorrows... ♪
460
00:22:50,636 --> 00:22:54,171
Those kids look a lot like
your side of the family?
461
00:22:56,975 --> 00:23:00,010
(♪ Iron Butterfly,
"In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida")
462
00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:13,368
♪ In-a-gadda-da-vida, honey
463
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:17,439
♪ Don't you know
that I love you?
464
00:23:17,463 --> 00:23:21,343
♪ In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby
465
00:23:21,367 --> 00:23:25,102
♪ Don't you know
that I'll always be true?
466
00:23:29,441 --> 00:23:33,221
♪ Oh, won't you come with me
467
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:36,747
♪ And take my hand? ♪
467
00:23:37,305 --> 00:24:37,292
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