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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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All right, you're doing
a good job there.
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Now do just what I do.
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Real gentle, easy strokes.
Perfect. Looks good.
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Now go against the grain.
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I don't have a grain.
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That means you can go both ways.
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Oh, don't shave your
lips. Don't do that.
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Now, that's what I call a
manly shave right there.
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Ar-ar-ar.
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Brad stay out of
your mother's stuff.
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Just want a hairbrush.
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A hairbrush?
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You never brush your
hair. What's going on?
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It's for his girlfriend,
Jennifer Sadarski.
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Shut up, you dink.
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Easy, easy.
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What does Mom
do with all this junk?
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Well, number one, it's not junk.
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It's women's stuff.
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It's what makes
women different than us.
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What's this one for?
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She pinches something
with that thing.
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Oh, this is for taking her
eye out and cleaning behind it.
25
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,378
Why does Mom
have all this stuff?
26
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Yeah. She always looks the same.
27
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All right, I'm gonna let you
guys in on a little secret...
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Women as we know them
are born without a face.
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Bull!
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Listen to me!
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Women are like
a Mr. Potato Head.
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Yes. You've heard your
mom say every now and then,
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"Excuse me, fellas. I gotta go
upstairs and put my face on."
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Huh? She scurries up here
and draws one on with this stuff.
35
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How does she do it?
36
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She outlines it like this...
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Yeah, perfect.
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Then she fills it in with
this goop right here.
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Just like this.
40
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,224
Dad, you look like Nana.
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00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:18,263
No. If I were Nana, I'd have
the lipstick all over my teeth.
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What is it about our bathroom
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00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:27,784
that fascinates
you guys so much?
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It's just way cleaner than ours.
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You can leave now. Go
get ready for school. Go on.
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Mark, honey...
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Oh, ho-ho-ho. Nice lips.
48
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Ew! Excuse me.
49
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:45,802
Come on, come on.
50
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,905
Excuse me? What is all
this shaving gunk in the sink?
51
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,608
It's not mine,
it's Mark's. Mark!
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What I wouldn't give
for two sinks in here.
53
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We've talked about this long enough.
I'm gonna put another sink in this room.
54
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Oh, no, no, no, you're not.
55
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:05,555
It's not that big a
job. It's a small job.
56
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,858
There is no such thing as
a small job with you, Tim.
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00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,194
First, you'd start with the
sink, and the next thing I know,
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you'd be ripping out walls and
running a subway through here.
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I'll give you free tickets.
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00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:18,034
No. Honey, honey,
if we had two sinks,
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we wouldn't be able
to snuggle up together
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at our one little mutual sink.
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00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,506
Oh, think about
this... with two sinks,
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00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,609
I could set up my sink,
you wanna snuggle,
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00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:27,944
I'd go over to your sink,
do the snuggle thing,
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and take a subway
back to my sink.
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Ha-ha-ha. No.
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Hi, Mom.
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00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:44,427
Hi, sweetie. What did
you do to your hair?
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Nothing.
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Then somebody
put a curse on you.
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00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,934
Mom!
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00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:55,372
Jennifer Sadarski
told Pete Schybner
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that she likes spiked hair.
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And does she?
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Big time.
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00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:05,704
Hmm. Well, I think it makes
you look incredibly handsome.
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Hey, sharp.
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Like my hair?
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No. I mean it's sharp.
81
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Funny, Dad.
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00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,865
What is this?
83
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:26,636
Do you remember when we got married, I
promised to make you a very happy woman?
84
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,539
Yeah. I'm still waiting.
85
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:34,377
I brought you some
brochures from Sinks "R" Us.
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00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:35,878
You just don't quit, do you?
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And to go along
with those sinks,
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all the materials needed to
make the bathroom of your dreams.
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00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:45,254
Tim, we are not gonna remodel the
bathroom. It's fine just the way it is.
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00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:48,525
Jill, in five short days,
no muss, no fuss,
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00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,860
I can put in two sinks,
a couple of mirrors,
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00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,862
even a little make-up area
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where you can apply
whatever gook you want.
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I am not interested.
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00:05:56,623 --> 00:06:00,102
Including a brand-new whirlpool.
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00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:02,238
A whirlpool.
97
00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:04,273
That is right, Mrs. Taylor.
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00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:07,510
Let the six jets of
the Turbomatic 5,000
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00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,279
simultaneously
massage your cares away
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00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,949
and clean those dirty pores.
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00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,417
The perfect place
to rest and relax
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00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:17,119
after managing that horrible
family you call the Taylors.
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Oh, Tim, I would love to
have this dream bathroom.
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Oh, look at that one.
105
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:26,896
But, no. There's no
way we can afford this.
106
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:31,401
This can be a special Tool
Time project remodeling,
107
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,770
and they can use our bathroom,
108
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which means they will pay for all of
the labor and almost half of the materials.
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They'd pay for it?
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Yes.
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What's to think about?
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We've always wanted
this done, they'd pay for it.
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Let me do this for you.
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Will Al be here?
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00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,220
I don't see what that
has to do with anything.
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Will Al be here?
117
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,424
I want you to listen to me.
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Al is my assistant.
He assists me.
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Yeah, I know. Will he be here?
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Yes.
121
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,500
And I can have anything I want?
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Anything you want.
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00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:09,205
Ooh. What if I decide that
I just want you right now?
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00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:12,497
Well, it'd be difficult
without Al here to assist me.
125
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:18,615
Hey, give it back, dog breath!
126
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:24,387
"I think you're really cute,
and I love your spiked hair."
127
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Randy, give me that.
Come on. Hey, hey, hey!
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00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,892
It's all right. It's all right.
129
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:30,794
It even smells like a girl.
130
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:31,795
So do you!
131
00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,362
So do you! So do you!
132
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:37,567
Hey, guys, guys! Come
on. Brad, this is so sweet.
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00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:40,603
You know, I wore this same
perfume when I was a little girl.
134
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,573
It's called "Tinkerbell."
135
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:46,342
I think you found a
very special young lady.
136
00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:49,646
I think she found a very
special case of cooties!
137
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:52,649
Randy! Hey, Mark,
where you going?
138
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,684
I thought you were
gonna help me.
139
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:57,887
Mom, I'd like to
watch 'em fight.
140
00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:01,658
Jeez. All right.
Bathroom's up to your left.
141
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,693
Holler when you get all
set up. Jill this is so exciting.
142
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:05,695
We're about ready
to start the show.
143
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:08,531
I'm gonna need that sample
tile we picked out last night.
144
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:09,933
I changed my mind.
145
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,267
No, we decided on Misty Mint.
146
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,336
I hate Misty Mint.
147
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,405
Honey, you been through a
thousand samples in three days.
148
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:17,640
You're losin' it.
149
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,976
I got a show to do, we
got to get a tile sample.
150
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,578
You gotta make a decision.
151
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,580
I can't. Which one of
these colors do you like?
152
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:24,881
I don't care.
153
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:29,418
I do care. I do.
Oh, boy, do I care.
154
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:33,623
Which one of these
colors do you like?
155
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,079
Jeez.
156
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:41,598
These are different colors?
157
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:46,669
Apricot, peach, cantaloupe,
loquat and cumquat.
158
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,505
Put 'em all together, have
a fruit salad in the bathroom.
159
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:51,641
No. Tim, we gotta live with these
colors for the rest of our lives.
160
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,376
How long could that be?
161
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:57,313
All right, you can just take your
gear right on up to the bathroom.
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00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,382
Al, maybe you can help me.
163
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,484
Oh, like he's gonna
know anything.
164
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:04,120
Come here. Come here, come here.
165
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:08,958
Which one of these
colors do you like?
166
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,794
I like the loquat
or the cumquat.
167
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:15,464
Oh, come off of it, Al. Like you can
tell the difference with these colors.
168
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,366
Yes, I can, Tim.
169
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,368
The loquat is sunnier,
170
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,326
yet understated in a
non-threatening way.
171
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:35,384
Hi. Welcome to Tool Time.
I'm Tim Taylor, your host.
172
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,154
Today is a special program.
It takes place in my own home.
173
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,478
Here's my lovely wife Jill.
174
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,763
And, of course, we
all know my assistant.
175
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,097
Howdy. Doody.
176
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,767
Ha-ha-ha. Follow me this way.
177
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:54,136
We're gonna be doing a five-day
redecoration of my own bathroom.
178
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,739
Before we get started, let's meet
our master plumber, Felix Myman.
179
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,741
Glad to be here, Tim.
180
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,176
Good to have you, Felix.
181
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,611
Al, let's get to work.
182
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,279
All right. As you can see,
183
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,882
we've taken out our
old vanity and sink,
184
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:08,417
and we'll be replacing it
with a new double-sink model.
185
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,387
That's right, Al, and we'll be
covering that sink and backsplash
186
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,222
with this lovely
pinkish sort of tile.
187
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,892
I believe that shade
is called cumquat.
188
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:18,961
It's ephemeral yet graceful.
189
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:20,985
Just like you, Al.
190
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,035
We removed the vanity,
191
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,037
and I found out I had
existing galvanized pipes
192
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:30,039
where I wanna redo
those with new copper.
193
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,809
In order to do that, I have to
remove this section of the wall.
194
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:37,035
And for that, I decided
to use a 20-pound sledge.
195
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:44,420
Tim, I think you might
wanna use our saber saw here
196
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,288
to cut out that piece of wall.
197
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,290
That might make a
cleaner, more efficient cut,
198
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,893
but what would
be the fun in that?
199
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:54,230
Part of the fun of home remodeling
is taking out some aggressions,
200
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:58,222
and there's no better way to do
that than using a 20-pound sledge.
201
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:03,439
Give way, Al.
202
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:04,473
Well, Tim...
203
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,108
Al...
204
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,244
You wanna be careful
when you're using a sledge...
205
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,612
I know that, Al.
206
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,048
Not to go all the
way through the wall.
207
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,905
Why would I do that, Al?
208
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:30,265
Al, Al, did I get that piece of
sausage out of my front tooth?
209
00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:32,123
Yes, you did, Tim.
210
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,737
Dad...
211
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:38,708
I think Mom's getting
ready to scream again.
212
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:41,944
Oh, no, she saw that
concrete spill in hallway.
213
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:44,869
No, we made
Mark lie on top of it.
214
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:49,051
Don't you worry about Mom.
215
00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:50,887
Once she sees this whirlpool,
216
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:53,723
she won't be thinking
about anything else.
217
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:54,724
Ahem.
218
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,459
About ready to go? Yep.
219
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,949
In 5, 4...
220
00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:03,254
Boy, that sausage was spicy.
221
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:12,574
3, 2, 1.
222
00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:15,812
We're in the final step
of our bathroom redo,
223
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:19,148
and that's where we install
this beautiful whirlpool bath.
224
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,851
To do that, we take it out of the
crate, we march it through this door,
225
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:24,820
on upstairs, and we plumb
it with Felix, our plumber.
226
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:26,089
There's Felix right now. Hey.
227
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:29,792
Hey, Tim. We can't get
the whirlpool up the stairs.
228
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,427
Somebody measured it wrong.
229
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:35,031
I was the one... Hey,
turn that... get that off.
230
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:39,268
Hey, I told my wife we'd
have it up there today, today.
231
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:43,539
Mm. The only way to
get it up in that bathroom
232
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:46,909
is we got to hoist her
up to the roof... What?
233
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:51,146
Tear a hole in that
wall and slide her in.
234
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:52,147
Let us know.
235
00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:54,182
(Jill) Tim!
236
00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:56,741
Well, that'll be
a break. Let's go.
237
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:00,489
They broke the mirror,
238
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,858
they put the wrong tile
in, we got a cement...
239
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:05,160
Oh, whoa, whoa. What is this?
240
00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:07,596
This is what will
make it all worthwhile,
241
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,864
your new whirlpool.
242
00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:13,301
Oh, Tim, it is so beautiful.
243
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:15,671
Look at the color. It's perfect.
244
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:19,675
Not to mention, seven
adjustable jets, three speeds...
245
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:22,545
low, medium, and
who needs a man?
246
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,580
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
247
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,571
Well...
248
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:30,953
What are we waiting for?
249
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,955
Let's get the guys and
take it up to the bathroom.
250
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,323
Well, darn it, Jill,
the guys and I
251
00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:37,726
decided not to take it
right up to the bathroom.
252
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,328
Well, how are you
gonna get it up there?
253
00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:45,467
See that little spot up there?
OK, now... picture if you will
254
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,670
looking out of your
new whirlpool tub
255
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:50,573
through a brand-new
greenhouse window.
256
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:54,076
All I gotta do is cut a
little hole in the wall there.
257
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:57,546
Little hole about
the size of this tub?
258
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:00,482
Just a little bigger
than the tub, actually.
259
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,886
Tim, how could you order a tub
260
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:06,722
and have no way to
get it in the house?
261
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,780
Because in the catalog,
they're only, like, this big.
262
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:14,897
Wilson, I need more hose!
263
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:16,353
Don't we all, Tim?
264
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:24,640
Just tell me where
the window is.
265
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:29,511
Back-ordered?! How many
idiots order a greenhouse window
266
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:32,014
in the middle of November?
267
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,972
What do you mean,
you guess one more?
268
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,954
Dad, what are you
doing on the phone?
269
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,555
I'm expecting a call.
270
00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:43,558
I'll be off in a minute. I
need that window here today.
271
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:46,795
I live with a very
dangerous woman.
272
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:49,531
Thank you. Think fast.
273
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:52,134
Who's calling you so early?
274
00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:53,802
Joey said Jennifer Sadarski
275
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:56,338
is gonna call me this
morning before school.
276
00:14:56,362 --> 00:15:01,343
Whoa. First call from
a girl. Pretty scary stuff.
277
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,344
You said it.
278
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:05,069
(rings)
279
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:11,453
(ring)
280
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:12,910
Go for it.
281
00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:16,814
Hello?
282
00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,052
Sure.
283
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,891
Bye.
284
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,340
She wants to sit
next to me on the bus.
285
00:15:32,364 --> 00:15:34,143
Life is good.
286
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,410
Yes!
287
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:38,246
Tim, what did you
do to the water?
288
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:42,284
Nothing. Felix and the crew
ran into a technical problem.
289
00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:43,786
What technical problem?
290
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,688
I don't know. They
had to shut the water off.
291
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,690
But I've got it
covered, don't worry.
292
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,159
I ran a hose from Wilson's yard.
Now we've got running water.
293
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,827
This is freezing cold.
294
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:54,563
Well, heat it up on
the stove. Oh, God.
295
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:58,856
Hey, Tim, you know that
water main you busted?
296
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:04,740
You busted?
297
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:07,876
I thought you said it
was a technical problem.
298
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:11,546
Technically, I was
the problem, Jill.
299
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:14,850
I got good news. We capped
off that geyser in the front yard.
300
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:15,851
Geyser?!
301
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,186
There is no more geyser.
302
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,654
Of course, your
front yard's flooded.
303
00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:22,191
I'm gonna have a couple men
sandbag that basement window.
304
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,026
Tim, the stove won't
light. What did you do to it?
305
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:25,360
Nothing.
306
00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:28,130
Oh, that was us. We
had to shut the gas off.
307
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:29,331
Why?
308
00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:31,466
Well, when you broke
open that water main,
309
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:34,236
we were afraid you
hit the gas line, too,
310
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,371
so we shut 'em
both off to be safe.
311
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:38,207
Well, should we worry?
312
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:41,643
Oh, no, it's not like you're
gonna get blown up or something.
313
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:45,680
That's it. I'm packing the
bags and going to a motel
314
00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:47,950
until you finish the bathroom
or destroy the house...
315
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:51,253
It won't take that long
to fix the water main.
316
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:53,122
All I wanted was your
shaving gunk out of the sink.
317
00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,990
A sponge could've done that.
318
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,925
It was gonna be one
day, then five days.
319
00:16:56,949 --> 00:17:00,629
Now it's what? 17 days,
Tim, and what have I got?
320
00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:03,899
I got a hole in the side of the
house, a geyser in the front yard,
321
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:08,837
no water, subzero temperatures,
and a chance to blow up.
322
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,461
Honey, I think
you're overreacting.
323
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:15,132
(ticking)
324
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:18,335
Aah!
325
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:31,093
Hi-ho, Tim.
326
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:32,094
Hi, Wilson.
327
00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:33,895
Got your water back on?
328
00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:37,099
Finally. Here's your
end of the hose.
329
00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:38,467
Thank you, neighbor.
330
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:43,638
Beautiful night, isn't
it? Crisp, clear, cold.
331
00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:44,706
What are you up to?
332
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:48,210
Just checking the
expanding universe, Tim.
333
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,744
You got a minute?
334
00:17:49,768 --> 00:17:53,182
Cut your boosters, Tim,
come in for a landing.
335
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,883
I did it this time.
336
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:58,287
Jill took the kids, left me,
and went to a motel with 'em.
337
00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,955
Mm-mm-mm.
338
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:01,557
I don't know what gets into me.
339
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:04,793
This started out as a simple
project. I'm gonna replace the sink.
340
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:06,128
Then I had two sinks.
341
00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:07,996
I rip out the wall, boom-bang,
342
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:10,399
I got pipes everywhere,
water flowing out,
343
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:14,103
I got water main shut
off, I got... I can't stop this.
344
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:16,171
Well, Tim, you're
probably just responding
345
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:20,309
to the visceral
male urge to create.
346
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:24,779
Visceral. Vis-vis-visceral?
347
00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:27,015
Let's just say gut need.
348
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:29,118
Yeah, that's exactly
what it feels like.
349
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:32,821
It's a visceral gut thing.
I like to create, Wilson.
350
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,023
Everything I do, I want
to make bigger and better.
351
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:38,494
Well, Tim, this
obsessive desire to create
352
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:43,298
partly happens because
men feel inferior to women.
353
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:45,534
Uhh?
354
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,103
It's because we
can't bear children.
355
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,495
I don't mind the boys that much.
356
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,911
No, no, no, Tim.
357
00:18:56,935 --> 00:19:00,682
What I mean is, women
can give birth, and we can't.
358
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:03,585
Yeah, we sure
lucked out on that part.
359
00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:04,819
Well, I don't know.
360
00:19:04,843 --> 00:19:07,322
You were there when
your boys were born.
361
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:09,891
Birth is a miracle.
362
00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:12,894
Maybe one of the reasons you
get so involved in your projects
363
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:17,488
is because you want to create
something as wondrous as human life.
364
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,437
That's a neat thought, Wilson.
365
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:25,907
But the way this
project's going,
366
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:28,843
I think giving birth
would've been easier.
367
00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:31,735
Tim, I think you have company.
368
00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:37,686
Thank you, Wilson.
369
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:38,990
Good night, neighbor.
370
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:43,892
Hi.
371
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,761
Hi.
372
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:50,232
Thought you and the boys
were staying at that motel.
373
00:19:50,256 --> 00:19:56,471
I was, but every time I
went into the bathroom there
374
00:19:56,495 --> 00:20:00,008
and looked into the sink and
didn't see your shaving stubble,
375
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,143
I got depressed.
376
00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:05,046
I really missed you.
377
00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:09,050
Um, I decided that I'd
rather have you and no water
378
00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:11,386
than water and no you.
379
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:14,823
Well, now you have us both.
Water's on, and here I am.
380
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:17,659
I'm sorry I got mad and left.
381
00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:19,994
Oh, it's OK.
382
00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:22,964
You know, it wasn't
you that I was mad at.
383
00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,966
It was just the remodel.
384
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,357
Nope, nope.
385
00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:31,027
I can't give birth.
386
00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:42,273
It's a problem in my gut
with a vis-curl thing and...
387
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,256
It's really, really
hard to explain.
388
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,246
Don't try.
389
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:53,194
Wanna see your new bathroom?
390
00:20:53,218 --> 00:20:55,653
Is it finished?
391
00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:05,696
Well, it didn't come out
exactly like I planned...
392
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:14,283
but I'm sure it's
not what you want.
393
00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:16,184
(gasps)
394
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:18,453
The grout's still
a little messy.
395
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:20,322
Shh! It's perfect.
396
00:21:20,346 --> 00:21:21,823
You really think so?
397
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:25,026
It's even better than
I imagined. Oh, Tim...
398
00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:27,162
Look at this... bull-nose
tile all along the sink here.
399
00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:28,497
Ooh.
400
00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:30,432
And back here, I was
able to push the closet back
401
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:32,434
and give you an inset for
all of your perfume bottles.
402
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:33,502
Oh...
403
00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:35,170
Oh, and that's not the best.
404
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:37,472
All chrome-plated brass
hinges and fixtures...
405
00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:39,808
Let me just enjoy it.
406
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:45,013
Oh, look, this is so
lovely with the moonlight.
407
00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:49,618
This is the most romantic
bathroom on earth.
408
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:52,987
Oh, that's not the
most romantic part.
409
00:21:53,011 --> 00:21:56,647
Watch this. This is truly
a woman's bathroom.
410
00:21:57,717 --> 00:22:01,952
Seat up... flush...
411
00:22:16,268 --> 00:22:17,746
(knocking on door)
412
00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:21,015
(Mark) Mom, when are
you coming out? I'm hungry!
413
00:22:21,039 --> 00:22:23,218
(Brad) It's not funny
anymore, Mom.
414
00:22:23,242 --> 00:22:26,755
(Randy) Mom, you've been
in there for seven hours.
415
00:22:26,779 --> 00:22:29,023
We've run out of
bad things to do.
416
00:22:29,047 --> 00:22:32,160
(Tim) Boys, clear out.
It's time for what now?
417
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:34,563
(all) More power!!
418
00:22:34,587 --> 00:22:36,732
Yes, all right.
(pounding on door)
419
00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:39,568
(over bullhorn) All right, Mrs. Taylor,
we have that whirlpool surrounded.
420
00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:40,935
Now get out of there!
421
00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:42,471
(pounding on door)
422
00:22:42,495 --> 00:22:45,273
You're turning into a human
prune. Get out of that tub.
423
00:22:45,297 --> 00:22:46,307
(pounding)
424
00:22:46,331 --> 00:22:48,343
Honey, I wait a
week, I start dating.
425
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,166
♪ Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo ♪
426
00:22:52,237 --> 00:22:55,071
It didn't come out
quite like I planned it...
427
00:23:01,847 --> 00:23:04,247
Well, it didn't come out
exactly like I planned it...
428
00:23:12,425 --> 00:23:15,191
Well, it didn't come out
exactly like I planned it...
429
00:23:22,535 --> 00:23:24,134
Hello?
430
00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:27,348
Oh, there. It's just delayed.
431
00:23:27,372 --> 00:23:29,773
Come on in, honey.
What the hell...
431
00:23:30,305 --> 00:24:30,883
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