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(Jill) Tim, wait. The
sink is still clogged.
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I'll get to it in a minute.
4
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,756
Come on out here. I
want you to see this thing.
5
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,591
Well? What do you think?
6
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,927
This is the frame to
a '34 Ford Roadster,
7
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:26,796
the beginning of
my dream hot rod.
8
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,898
Dad, this thing's awesome.
9
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,101
What's the big deal? It
doesn't even have an engine.
10
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,103
Well, not yet. I gotta build it.
11
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,105
I think I'm gonna...
small-block Chevy 350,
12
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stainless steel
headers, chrome valves,
13
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pink rods, dual
exhaust, glass...
14
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Honey, what do you think?
15
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:45,415
Well, you finally
got your convertible.
16
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,916
Honey...
17
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:50,520
Dad, am I gonna be able to help
you work on this thing? You bet.
18
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:53,090
No, no, Brad, honey, you
have to finish your homework.
19
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Oh, man.
20
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,426
No "oh, mans." Do as she says.
21
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When you finish your homework,
then you can help me. All right.
22
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,698
Hey, Randy, you finish
your homework? Yeah.
23
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:05,335
Wanna help? No.
24
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,737
Where did I go wrong with him?
25
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,695
Don't worry about
it. He's not yours.
26
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,748
Well? Pretty cool, huh?
27
00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,250
Not much pitting.
28
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,752
It's really true and
square. Little bit of rust.
29
00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:25,589
I went through every
junkyard in Detroit to find this.
30
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,090
I paid practically nothing.
31
00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:29,092
You paid too much.
32
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:31,428
Honey, wait a minute...
You promised me...
33
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,997
This is a dream of
mine... I gotta fix this...
34
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:36,166
Since I was a kid,
I wanted a hot rod.
35
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:38,168
Not a pro street
rod, nothing fancy.
36
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:39,503
Just a driver, man.
37
00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:42,339
When I get done, every
bolt, every weld, every detail
38
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:44,341
is gonna be built
by these hands.
39
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:46,476
I'll be part of it.
It'll be part of me.
40
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,145
Honey, I do understand.
41
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:51,448
Now, I want you to come
in and be part of our sink.
42
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:54,151
I know it seems like
a rusted piece of junk.
43
00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:57,287
Tim, it is a rusted
piece of junk.
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To you, but to me,
it looks like this.
45
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(laughs)
46
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,564
You actually see a
car in that picture?
47
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,399
It's under Rita. Rita.
48
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,234
She's the pro stock girl.
49
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:13,736
They just use her to
make the car look good.
50
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And a darn fine
job she's doing, too.
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Boy, isn't she ever?
52
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What I gotta do is get
the rust off this first.
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Sandblast will be
expensive. I'm gonna try that...
54
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What are you doing with those?
55
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I'm gonna unplug the sink.
56
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:31,688
You can't unplug the sink
with needle-nose pliers.
57
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:35,232
I'm gonna use the pliers to get
your screwdriver out of the drain.
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00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:40,664
Why is my screwdriver
in the drain?
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I used it to unclog the sink.
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What?
61
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,969
You used a screwdriver?
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00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:49,972
Yeah, well, I tried the
plunger and it didn't work,
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so... I decided I
should stab the guck.
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00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:59,082
Stab the guck with a Binford
nickel-plated screwdriver?
65
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,417
Yeah.
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00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:04,421
Why don't you just
go back to your hot rod
67
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:07,557
and let me take care of this?
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00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,226
Ugh. Right.
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00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,760
Next thing you know,
70
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,762
you'll be jamming my
band saw down there.
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00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,764
I might. What's a band saw?
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00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,766
Never mind. I'll get my tools.
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00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,935
Drain. Sink.
Screwdriver. Son of a gun!
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Are you guys fighting?
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Yes! No.
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00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,973
Honey, it's real
noisy down here.
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Why don't you just go upstairs
and finish your homework up there?
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Jill... come over here.
79
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,917
I'm going to teach you
some basic plumbing.
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00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,753
No, no, no, Tim.
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00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,588
You are not teaching.
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00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,023
Look, you've got to
learn basic plumbing.
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What would happen if I died?
84
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And all the plumbers are dead?
85
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Yes.
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Tim, every time you
try to teach me anything,
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you get impatient
and you end up yelling.
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00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:58,341
When was the last
time I yelled at you?
89
00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:00,644
When you showed me how
to assemble the patio furniture.
90
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,646
You snapped the
heads right off the bolts.
91
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:05,148
You told me to turn the
wrench as hard as I could.
92
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:09,686
Most people would stop turning
when the wood starts cracking.
93
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,855
I would have heard the wood
cracking if you hadn't been yelling.
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00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,190
I wasn't yelling. You were...
95
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,581
Ar-ar-ar-ar-ar!
96
00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:28,070
Plumbing is a very simple...
97
00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:31,007
It's easy to learn if
you just pay attention.
98
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,710
If I pay attention,
will you be patient?
99
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,445
You won't ask any
stupid questions?
100
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:37,580
Fine. Fine.
101
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,916
OK, first thing we want to do
102
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is remove the trap.
103
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,875
The curved thingy?
104
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,779
Well, that would be
the technical term.
105
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:53,162
To remove the trap, we
have to have the proper tool.
106
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,432
For that we use the
trusty monkey wrench.
107
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,634
You notice one side is
fixed. It's serrated on both si...
108
00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:59,669
Why do they call it
a monkey wrench?
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They call it a monkey wrench
because even a monkey can use it.
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Thank you, Cheetah.
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00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:13,316
OK, now, put the wrench
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on the coupling at
the end of the trap.
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You mean this thing here?
114
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,390
No, no, no, that
connects the elbow
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00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,425
to the drainpipe and the flange.
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Flange. Who comes up
with all these stupid names?
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I'm sorry, honey.
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It's the little silvery
thingy at the bottom...
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You don't have to be
sarcastic, you know.
120
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You're using all
these technical terms.
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00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,037
This is practically baby talk.
122
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Oh, oh, excuse
me. I guess I forgot
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00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,777
that Mark's first three words were
"Mommy," "Daddy," and "flange."
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Gimme the wrench. I'll do it.
125
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Fine. You do it.
OK, fine. I will.
126
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At least I know what I'm doing.
127
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(metal dings) Ow!
128
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(Jill) Is that the
coupling or the flange?
129
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:57,093
That sink's working
pretty good, isn't it?
130
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,596
Uh-huh.
131
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Water's running
freely. No clogs.
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00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:07,236
Things got kind of heated
between us today, didn't they?
133
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Yeah, they did.
134
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:11,641
Well, I'd like to clear
the air by apologizing.
135
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I'm sorry.
136
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:16,479
Thank you.
137
00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:18,202
Apology accepted.
138
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,291
And you?
139
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,992
And me what?
140
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:33,329
Don't you want to
apologize to me? For what?
141
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,564
Yelling at me.
142
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,566
But I didn't yell at you.
143
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,234
You yelled at me.
144
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:41,905
That's 'cause you dropped
a screwdriver down the sink.
145
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:45,107
I don't think you realize that I
worked two hours on this sink.
146
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,577
I worked two hours on
this sink before you did.
147
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:50,346
Worked? You just
threw tools down there.
148
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:53,115
Well, I was trying to fix it.
149
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:56,118
If you wanted to fix it, you
should learn how to do it properly.
150
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,287
Well, why should
I learn how to do it
151
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,857
when you already know
how to do it properly?
152
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:03,793
Honey, I thought we shared
responsibilities here. We do.
153
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,995
Well, I learned how
to do the laundry...
154
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,498
separate the colors,
put the fabric softener in.
155
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:10,166
Wait, wait. Wait a minute.
156
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:13,670
When was the last time
that you did the laundry, Tim?
157
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,539
You know, that's...
This isn't the point.
158
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:19,041
The point is, I
learned how to do it.
159
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,544
I don't see you out there
changing spark plugs.
160
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,880
Do you want me to go out
and change spark plugs?
161
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:27,216
You don't know how to do
it. That's why I don't do it.
162
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,952
Where are you going? Leaving.
163
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,653
I'm not done talking yet.
164
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,355
Well, it's not my fault
165
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:35,091
that you never learned
how to finish a conversation.
166
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,882
Unh!
167
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:41,163
Now that we've finished the
construction of our trestle table,
168
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,165
let's begin the
finish and sanding.
169
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,735
Before that, I'm gonna discuss
two different kinds of sanders here...
170
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,737
your belt sander,
which is very powerful
171
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,739
and perfect for
the rough sanding,
172
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:52,675
and your orbital, or vibrating,
sander, which is smaller
173
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,667
and perfect for putting
in your pocket, right, Al?
174
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,487
I wouldn't know, Tim.
175
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,990
I am kidding about
that. I am kidding.
176
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:10,059
Never, ever put electrical
devices in your pants.
177
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,061
All right, before
we get going here,
178
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:15,131
I'd like to ask you fellas
a few questions, if I could.
179
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,133
It is the '90s, and
women expect us
180
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,602
to help a little bit around
the house, don't they?
181
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:21,103
Maybe we should. Should we?
182
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,006
Yeah. Yeah.
183
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,307
Come on, we should help
around the house, right?
184
00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:26,676
(men) Yeah.
185
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:29,579
The problem is, women
want us to help with their work,
186
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,814
but do they help with
our work? No. No.
187
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:35,251
They expect you to do the laundry,
clean the oven, mop the floor, right?
188
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,485
Yeah. Yeah.
189
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:39,255
You ever see her gap and
change a spark plug? No.
190
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,925
Unclogging a drain? (all) No!
191
00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:45,428
Their excuse is, "Well, you
know about this stuff and I don't.
192
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:48,097
I could break a nail."
193
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:51,100
This is an excuse, women, and
you're not the type to have excuses.
194
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,770
You need to be taught,
and I don't think you're stupid
195
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:56,706
just 'cause you
don't know anything.
196
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:59,341
No, I didn't... That
didn't come out right.
197
00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:02,344
I don't wanna get any cards
and letters over that, right, Al?
198
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:04,814
That's Tim Taylor,
care of Tool Time,
199
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,315
P.O. Box 327...
200
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:09,085
Al, I think they
know the address.
201
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,921
Well, this is gonna be different,
'cause on next week's show,
202
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,923
I've invited a
group of women in,
203
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,292
and I'm gonna teach
them basic home repair
204
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:19,562
using a simple language
even women can understand.
205
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:22,031
P.O. Box 32733...
206
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:24,701
I didn't mean to give the
impression that women are simple.
207
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,535
No, that's not what I mean.
208
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,705
It's not a woman's
fault that they grew up
209
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:31,407
spending half their time playing
with plastic ovens and dolls
210
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,865
and don't know a thing
about tools, right, Al?
211
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,650
All right, we gotta finish
sanding that table now.
212
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:42,919
We've got our belt
attached with a rough grip.
213
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,921
We want to plug
the thing in now.
214
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:48,524
'Course, you wanna be sure the trigger
switch is not locked in the "on" position.
215
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:49,681
Any idiot knows that.
216
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,911
All right. Good.
217
00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:11,614
Thanks a lot, Dad. That was fun.
218
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:13,750
Did a good job. Thanks.
219
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,985
Are you ready
for that test today?
220
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,319
I guess so.
221
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,022
What do you mean, you guess so?
222
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,422
It's not fair.
223
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:22,424
I study twice as
hard as Randy does.
224
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:24,426
He gets A's and I get C's.
225
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:27,429
Certain things he does better,
certain things you do better.
226
00:11:27,453 --> 00:11:30,599
You kick his butt in
basketball, don't you? Yeah.
227
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:34,070
It's the effort you put into things,
not just the grade that counts.
228
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,805
So it's OK if I flunk?
229
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,174
No.
230
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,677
I don't want you living
here when you're 25.
231
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:43,179
Dad, you wanna shave together
or something? (horn honking)
232
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,513
Dad... I'm kidding.
233
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,515
You're gonna do
fine on that test.
234
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,951
(Jill) The school bus
is here! So long, Dad.
235
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,953
Good luck on your test, honey.
236
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:52,088
Bye, Mom. Bye-bye.
237
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:55,058
(phone ringing)
238
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:57,994
I'll get that.
239
00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:01,197
Hello. Yeah, it's me.
240
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,701
What do you mean, we don't have
any women in the audience today?
241
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,769
Two?
242
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:09,806
Well, didn't you put up
the address on the screen?
243
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,730
Hate mail?
244
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:18,380
We gotta have women
in that audience.
245
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,917
I don't care how you do it. I
need a full audience of women.
246
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:21,918
Thanks, Lisa.
247
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:24,553
Problem? Huh?
248
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,589
Oh, just a minor setback.
249
00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:29,926
I didn't get the response from the
female viewers I thought I would.
250
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,928
Maybe 'cause they're all home
251
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:35,519
playing with their
dolls and plastic ovens.
252
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,102
Well, I'm going
down to the studio.
253
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:42,138
I, for one, am not gonna miss
this very special Tool Time.
254
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:45,230
You don't have 40 friends
you can bring with you, do you?
255
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:53,415
Hey, Wilson.
256
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,617
Wilson?
257
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,119
Wilson, you all right?
258
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:59,021
Just fine, neighbor. Aah!
259
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:01,913
I see you've met
my scarecrow Oliver.
260
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,729
I always try to flameproof him
261
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:09,265
before I put him
away for winter.
262
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,201
Wilson, I got a little
problem. Mm-hmm.
263
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:16,538
I gotta teach a bunch of women some
home-repair tips today on Tool Time.
264
00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:19,375
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And
these women worry you?
265
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,044
Well, if they're
anything like Jill, they do.
266
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:25,447
We got in this big argument when I
tried to teach her some basic plumbing.
267
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:26,916
Hmm-hmm-hmm.
268
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:30,219
Just simple stuff, you know...
coupling, flange, the trap.
269
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:34,456
Well, Tim, I think the problem
might be your metamessage.
270
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:38,261
That'd be "message" with "meta"
on the front of it. Yessiree Bob.
271
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,797
Two M's, three E's,
two A's, two S's, "T"
272
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:42,631
and a lonely little "G."
273
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,633
You have an awful
lot of spare time,
274
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:48,337
don't you, Wilson?
275
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,472
You see, Tim, when
men teach women,
276
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,809
they tend to use
complicated technical terms
277
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,844
to make themselves
appear superior,
278
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:57,579
thus saying to the
woman, "You are inferior."
279
00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:59,581
That's what I'll do
on Tool Time today.
280
00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:02,974
No metamessages. Keep it simple.
281
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,826
Hi, everybody, and welcome
to this special edition...
282
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:12,083
"The Ladies of Tool Time."
283
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:20,970
Hey, normally we get the show
going with a big, hearty grunt
284
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,972
to get those lungs opened up.
285
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,716
Come on, everybody. Ar-ar-ar-ar.
286
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:32,014
(high-pitched) Ar-ar-ar-ar-ar?
287
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,850
(women) Where's Irma?
288
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:39,455
I drove all the way from
Lansing to see Cooking With Irma.
289
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:42,591
Settle down. We played
a little trick on you.
290
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,927
We took the normal
Tool Time audience,
291
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:47,429
and they're over watching
Cooking With Irma,
292
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:50,432
and we brought you ladies
in here for a little treat.
293
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,768
Hey, I don't care
about no tools.
294
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,437
I came down here
to learn to cook.
295
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:56,438
(women) Yeah.
296
00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:57,940
I'm confused.
297
00:14:57,964 --> 00:14:59,942
You mean Irma's
not gonna show us
298
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:01,810
how to make crab curry?
299
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,812
No, what's gonna happen...
300
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,814
I'm gonna show you how to repair
301
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,816
three very typical
household problems...
302
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,151
(women groan)
303
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:12,154
Oh, no. A clogged sink, a
bad electrical connection,
304
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:13,655
the running toilet.
305
00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:14,946
Oh, my God.
306
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,362
Hey, you get to keep those hats.
307
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:22,664
Those hats are yours.
308
00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:25,501
Hey, there's the spirit.
309
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:28,004
Oh, we need three
volunteers right away.
310
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:29,505
I'll volunteer.
311
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,474
OK.
312
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:34,143
You had your hand up.
313
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:37,146
Let's get her down with
some applause here.
314
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:40,149
OK, we need... we
need one more volunteer.
315
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:43,719
You had your hand up,
didn't you, ma'am? No, I didn't.
316
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:46,588
You look like the kind of woman
that wants to learn this stuff.
317
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,780
Give her a round of applause.
Get her out here. Come on!
318
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:56,665
Well, we've got
our three volunteers.
319
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,901
What do you say
we meet our helpers?
320
00:15:58,925 --> 00:15:59,902
Your name?
321
00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:02,471
My name is Greta Post.
322
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,840
OK, Greta, are you married?
323
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:07,131
No, I'm still looking
for Mr. Right.
324
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:16,385
How do you feel about beards?
325
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:20,756
Well, I like them.
326
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:23,993
Ma'am, your name?
327
00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:26,495
Rita.
328
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:29,165
You look pretty happy.
You must be happily married.
329
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:32,890
Yes, but I'm
contemplating a divorce.
330
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:36,872
Excuse me, ma'am. Your name?
331
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:37,906
Judith Potter.
332
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,808
Hello, Judith Potter.
Are you married?
333
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,666
22 years to the same slug.
334
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:45,881
22 years.
335
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:50,152
And what a happy time
that must have been.
336
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,154
Let's start with you, Greta.
337
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,156
Step over to the sink here.
338
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,757
It's your typical clog.
339
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:59,428
Al, could we have a little
breathing room in here, please?
340
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,819
(giggles) Excuse me.
341
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:12,897
Do you want me to get you
a magazine or something, Al?
342
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:19,548
This is your typical sink clog
with yucky hair and grease,
343
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:22,051
and I want to thank
the crew of Tool Time
344
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,653
for providing all
that hair and grease.
345
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,955
Thanks, guys. (crew grunts)
346
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:28,957
Um, am I gonna have to touch it?
347
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:31,160
Well, yeah, to
get it out of there,
348
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:33,396
you're gonna have
to yank it out of there.
349
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:36,065
Would you like me to get
you some gloves, Greta?
350
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:38,501
Oh, could you, Al?
351
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:39,657
Right away.
352
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,239
Why don't you get
that picnic basket
353
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,907
and a bottle of wine
354
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,176
while you're back there, Al?
355
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,178
While we're waiting for Al,
356
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:52,448
maybe Judith can help me
work on this running toilet.
357
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:55,918
Now, I know it probably
sounds complicated, but it's not.
358
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:58,687
Take the lid off,
you follow the rod
359
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:01,257
till you get to this little puffy
ball right on the end here.
360
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,858
Puffy ball? Right on the end.
361
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,860
(laughs)
362
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:08,553
You mean, the float arm
that's attached to the ball top?
363
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:16,072
I was trying to make it simple.
Are you saying I'm simple?
364
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:18,807
No, I'm trying to use a language
we would all understand.
365
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:21,310
Then you want to take
your flat-tip screwdriver,
366
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,811
make your adjustment...
367
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,813
You don't need all
that. Proper way to...
368
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:27,183
You don't need all that.
If the toilet is running,
369
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:30,018
you just grab
the rod... (grunts)
370
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:31,554
and bend it.
371
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,589
Ouch!
372
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:37,293
Looks like that's not
the first rod you've bent.
373
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:39,428
(laughs)
374
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,097
Whoo-hoo. You got that right.
375
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,466
(laughs)
376
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,601
Hey, we can't wait around
377
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,603
for our husbands
to get off the couch
378
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,139
and do something useful, can we?
379
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:52,641
You're doggone right,
I know it can't happen.
380
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,876
Well, looks like Greta's
got those gloves.
381
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:57,735
Let's check on
that clog, shall we?
382
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,485
Want to handle that clog?
383
00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:04,753
I can't do this. Oh,
sure you can, Greta.
384
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:07,737
Would you like to sit
down and rest? What?
385
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,714
Well, I think I would.
386
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:14,863
Can I get you a soda?
387
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,865
Hey, uh... uh...
388
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:19,602
You-You, uh, want
me to fix the sink?
389
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,937
No, Judith. You've
done a good job.
390
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:24,573
You bent that rod
perfectly, you know?
391
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:27,075
Give her a big round
of applause, everybody!
392
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:29,333
(cheers and applause)
393
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:34,750
OK. Well, Rita,
394
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:37,786
how would you like to
help me unclog this sink?
395
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:40,122
No, I don't think
it's a good idea.
396
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,458
My husband always
yells at me a lot
397
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:44,593
when he tries to
teach me something.
398
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:48,631
That's probably because
he used metamessages.
399
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:52,000
That's making things sound
more complicated than they are,
400
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:55,404
using technical jargon to
make women feel inferior.
401
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:58,407
And I'm sure he didn't
know that he was doing that,
402
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:01,243
and I'm sure he's real
sorry that he did that.
403
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:04,146
Well, I wouldn't mind learning
404
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,482
if my husband were as patient
405
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,651
and understanding as you are,
406
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:11,086
although I must say, um,
407
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:13,644
he is your biggest fan.
408
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:21,863
Brad, how'd that test go today?
409
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,399
I tried my best.
410
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:27,035
Is the grade at least within the
first four letters of the alphabet?
411
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:30,172
Come on, Brad. How did you do?
412
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,874
I was hoping to get
a "C," but I didn't.
413
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:35,043
That's all right. Aww.
414
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,646
I got a C-plus!
415
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,015
All right! Good work.
416
00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:41,550
Effort, buddy. The effort.
417
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,051
Nice going, jerk ball.
418
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,254
Thanks a lot, dink.
419
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:47,256
Get me a soda, will you?
420
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,092
Dad, are we gonna be
able to work on the hot rod?
421
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:52,928
Yeah, but you gotta go
change your clothes, all right?
422
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,162
All right!
423
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:56,832
So, um, Tim, you were
424
00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:59,635
a pretty good teacher today.
425
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:01,403
Well, you were my best student.
426
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,905
I was your only student...
427
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,907
but I really did
learn something,
428
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,744
so I decided to
give you something.
429
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:09,945
Yeah?
430
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:13,482
I know how much you like
that picture of the hot rod.
431
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,984
The picture in the
magazine with Rita in it?
432
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:16,985
Yeah. Really?
433
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,942
So I had it blown
up. What a sport.
434
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:26,616
Well, looky there, there's
a car in that picture. Yeah!
435
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:33,557
(imitates engine chugging)
436
00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:39,174
(imitates revving)
437
00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:40,864
Pink slips, pal.
438
00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:44,780
9-grand hole shot.
439
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:47,004
(imitating shifting
gears, engine roaring)
440
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:52,721
(imitates grinding
gear) Aw, missed a shift!
441
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:54,790
(imitates grinding gear) Aw...
442
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:56,692
(imitates engine roaring)
443
00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:59,060
(chokes) What are you doing?
444
00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:01,229
Ohh!
445
00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:04,366
Just checking out
that frame, honey.
446
00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:05,768
You are not.
447
00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:08,036
You're pretending to drive.
448
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:09,538
Well, maybe I was.
449
00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:11,540
Is there room for two in there?
450
00:22:11,564 --> 00:22:13,141
Wanna go for a spin?
451
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,632
Love to.
452
00:22:17,236 --> 00:22:19,147
All-leather Recaros.
453
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:20,549
Ooh.
454
00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:23,407
Thank you so much.
Watch the paint.
455
00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:29,079
Unlock my door, please.
456
00:22:31,818 --> 00:22:33,796
High-output ignition system.
457
00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:36,765
(imitates engine chugging)
458
00:22:36,789 --> 00:22:40,168
(imitates revving)
459
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:42,137
Pretty nice, huh? Very nice.
460
00:22:42,161 --> 00:22:45,028
(imitates gears
shifting, engine running)
461
00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:49,800
Voom-voom-voom-voom...
462
00:22:54,474 --> 00:22:57,853
(grunts)
463
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:58,887
Unh?
464
00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:00,511
(grunting)
465
00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:05,616
Hey... Ar-ar-ar-ar-ar!
465
00:23:06,305 --> 00:24:06,366
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