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Now, remember what I told you.
Plant your elbow inside your knee, like this.
All right. And don't just lift your arm.
Pull the weight to your shoulder.
Good. Good. Now, exhale on exertion.
(exhales)
Try grunting. It helps.
(both grunting)
Good. Brad, you're gonna be real strong if you keep this up.
I'm gonna be the strongest one on the football team.
I can see it now - Bradley Taylor,
the muscular son of Tim Taylor, is carrying the ball.
He's got 60 people dragging behind him,
30, the 20, the ten...
Ah, he fell because his muscles are just too big!
Hey, Brad. Your muscles look really big.
You think so? Yeah.
The one in your head. You better watch it.
Settle, boys. I'll give you haircuts.
Whoa, muscle beach, right in my own garage.
Wrong, honey. This is the Tim Taylor testosterone hour.
I got an idea. Let's flex for her.
Drop the weights. Brad, take the coat off.
All right, guys, prepare yourselves. Ready?
Egyptian biception.
Arrgh!
Whoa!
Buttocks flex.
Ahh!
The three-point crab.
Aah! Whoa!
Very scary. Incredible. Ten points.
(Austrian accent) I pump for you, my little edelweiss.
(Austrian accent) Where is the oil?
Well, stick around. I'll smear you with bacon grease.
I'll be back.
Tim, don't forget to pick up some videos tonight after work.
Yeah, Dad. How about we get Bury Me Again?
Hey, no! It's family night.
Yeah, yeah. It's family night.
Oh, how about Bayonet Hell? (boys) Yeah!
Hey! It's my turn to pick. You're gonna get Sound of Music.
Aah!
(phone ringing) I'll get it.
Family movie.
Hey, Dad, how about we get Fang Woman? She had a family.
She ate her family.
Tim! Coming.
He'll be right there. What's the matter?
Stu Cutler. Calling from Akron?
No, he's in town. Great.
Do not invite that slug over here tonight.
Come on, he's one of my best friends. Come on.
Hey, puke face.
How's it hanging?
And deep. (laughs)
So, they let you back in town.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. We gotta see each other.
Jill would love to see ya.
This afternoon?
I gotta work this Saturday. Yeah, we're working all day.
Huh? Come over there. Yeah, that'd be great.
Uh-huh. Not even with your lips.
Yeah. See ya.
Oh, boy. Please say he's not coming over tonight.
This is family night. We have chili, cornbread, The Sound of Music.
I didn't invite him over. I said I'd meet him after work.
We'll have a couple beers. I'll come home after that.
Alone. Yes. Why are you so hard on Stu?
The last time he was here, he shook up a beer
and sprayed it all over the family room.
Foam fight. He likes to clown around.
His idea of clowning around is drinking and making body noises.
So?
He likes to drink beer and make music.
Playing "The Girl from Ipanema" in his armpit is not musical.
You ever tried that?
And that's how you beat old man winter,
by installing a properly clad aluminum storm window
inside your wood frame window.
Now, no less effective and sometimes less costly
is a solid plastic sheeting on the inside of your window.
Right, Al? That's right, Tim.
We've taken a three-millimeter piece of plastic sheeting.
Cut it two inches larger than our exterior frame.
Right, Al. And we've tucked it over the top, taped it,
and now we're ready to shrink it using an electric hair dryer.
Lisa?
Here you go, Tim. Thanks.
We do this to get a wrinkle-free clear covering over our windows.
(turns on hair dryer)
Now, this works best. If you don't happen to have a hair dryer,
you can always get your mother-in-law over to the house
and have her yap at the window for a while.
(high-pitched voice) "You know, you should've married Dr. Conrad.
"He's a brain surgeon.
No! You end up with this loser on the tool show."
Aah!
Ohh! I'm ju...
You don't want to irritate any mother-in-laws, though, do you, Al?
You already have, Tim.
That's it for me, Tim "the tool man" Taylor,
reminding you to get those storm windows and doors in early
'cause you never know when that storm's gonna come rolling through.
See you next time.
(♪ Tool Time theme song)
Taylor! Oh, God!
Cutler?
Hey, buddy!
Good to see you, man. Good to see you, too.
See you Monday, Tim. Wait a minute, Al. Come over here. Please, come on.
This wild dog here was my college roommate. Stu Cutler, Al Borland.
Hi, Stu. Hey, Al.
Nice beard. Had chili for lunch, huh?
No, I didn't, Stu. (chuckles)
So, you gotta work with this jerk, huh, Al?
Yes, I do, Stu.
Well, it was nice meeting you.
Great sense of humor.
Thank you.
He's a serious guy, but he knows his way around a shop.
Whoa.
Kill me. Just kill me now.
She looks even better in person.
Introduce me. No.
Why not? Because she's a coworker,
a good friend of mine, and you're nothing but dried hog phlegm.
Watch my move.
Hi. Stu Cutler. Bye, Tim. See you Monday.
Night, Lis.
Ah, boy.
It's good to see you still have it, Cutler.
(chuckles)
She's not your type, man. She can see.
Now, come on, let's go down and get a beer.
I'll get changed up and we'll go. Your house?
I thought we'd go to the place on the corner we like.
You're not gonna take me home to dinner?
I thought maybe just you and me'd go out together.
Wait. Now, I can't come to town without seeing Jill the pill.
She'll understand. Like a guys' night out.
Wait. So, you don't want me to come to your house. Is that it?
No, no, of course not. You're always welcome at my house.
Well, let's go. Yeah, why not?
Yeah. Jill will be so surprised to see you.
I can't wait to see her face. Me neither.
Jill? Jill! Oh, good. You're home. You got rid of Stu fast.
I didn't get rid of him. He's parking his car.
Oh, no. You brought him home?
Jill, he really misses you. He likes you.
No, he doesn't. He just likes to make fun of me
and crush beer cans on his head.
Well, they gotta be crushed, if we're gonna recycle 'em.
Oh, I couldnt get rid of him. I couldn't say no.
He'll just come over and have a beer and that will be it.
OK, but if he crosses the line, I'm personally gonna throw him out.
What's "crossing the line"? Behavior that would be classified as subhuman.
Can't you be a little more flexible than that?
One beer, and he is gone. OK.
Aah-ooh! The Stuster's here!
Beer, Stu?
Read my mind. Come on in, buddy.
Whoo! Where's that Jill? Right here.
Aah-huh-huh! Huh-ha-ha!
Ooh! (laughs)
God, you look good. Now, you've lost some weight.
Yeah, I have. Thank you.
Now, there is a very human compliment.
So what's the goal, another ten?
Ohh...
Tim, if you hadn't have married Jill, I would've.
Now, there's something to think about, honey.
Well... life would sure be different. Well, it sure would.
Timmy, you'd be visiting us tonight,
and Jill would be a satisfied woman.
Almost done with that beer, Stu?
I haven't even cracked it. So, where's the boys?
They're across the street.
Well, get 'em over here. I gotta see those wild puppies.
Well, they wouldn't wanna miss the Stuster.
Brad, Randy, Mark! (chimes bell)
Foam fight! Stu, come on!
I wasn't really gonna do it. Oh, good.
I just wanted to see the look on Jill's face.
Yep, there's that look, right there.
Hey, the Stuster! Hey, Randy!
Whoa! Look at you. Hey, Stu.
The Bradster.
You guys are getting so big. Pretty soon you'll be able to take the old man.
We already can. Ohh!
That hurt. Uncle Stu!
Markie! God, look at you.
You're getting so big and strong.
We've been lifting Dad's weights. Wanna see them?
Well, sure. Where are they? In the garage. Come on.
Yeah. Ooh!
Daddy was posing for Mommy.
Posing as what? A man?
Oh... (grunts)
Well, did he cross the line?
Honey, you gotta admit, it's an interesting way to begin family night, huh?
Mm-hmm.
(screams)
♪ There she was just a-walkin' down the street
(all) ♪ Singin' do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do
(Stu) ♪ She looked good (imitate flatulence)
♪ She looked fine (imitate flatulence)
(all) ♪ She looked good, she looked fine
♪ And I nearly lost my mind ♪ (Stu laughing)
Hey, Taylor, think quick.
Boy, crushed and ready to be recycled.
It's official. One beer and he's gone.
I'm way ahead of ya. I'll get him to go.
Hey, guys, you go inside and help to set the table. I'm gonna talk to Uncle Stu.
Uh, not so fast, poser. I got 150 pounds on here.
Boys, I don't think the old man can bench press this.
One hand.
Show him, Dad. Yeah, do it.
Spot me, Cutler. Ooh!
(exhales)
(grunts)
Were you gonna do this sometime today?
(Tim) Oh...
He's turning red. I hope his eyes don't pop out.
Aah!
Ahh.
Are you OK, Dad?
It's easy when you use the right form. Yeah.
Are you gonna cry? No, I'm not gonna cry!
Go set the table.
(chuckles) Hey, you didn't strain anything, did you?
I'll knock you out.
Hey, remember how we used to go to the gym,
practically kill ourselves trying to impress Donna Gilmore?
Donna Gilmore.
I haven't seen or heard from her in years.
Hey, remember you and me and Donna
driving around in our '68 Impala,
top down, her blond hair blowing in the wind?
Oh, God, she was a beauty.
Sure was. What a car.
That was a 327 small block, man.
I had a big Holley 850 dual feed on that thing.
Had tubular headers, glass packs,
chromed the knuter valve.
Hey, you know what I got? I know what you got.
Picture of that Impala. (both) Hood up. Hood down.
(Stu) There's a screamin' machine.
This would be a classic today if it weren't for that little fire we had.
And I know I tightened that fuel filter on.
It wasn't my fault.
Yeah, we had some good times, haven't we?
Yeah, we have. Yeah.
Don't you wish we could go back,
live those days all over again?
They were great...
but today's real good, you know?
Not the same.
Just look me straight in the eye
and tell me that wasn't the best time of your life.
It was good. It was good. Hmm.
Listen, Stu. Jill and I were talking. Tonight's family night and...
Hey, wait. You've already made me feel like family.
You know what we need here? Another beer.
I'm all out of beer. I should've thought of that.
I'll just go get some more.
(♪ whistling) Where's my coat?
Oh, Stu, are you leaving? Yeah.
Well, it was so nice to see you. I hope we can do it again.
Well, let's do it again in 15 minutes.
I'm just going to get some beer. Beer?
It'll be my contribution to dinner.
Ah, well, thanks.
Jill, that pile of human vermin...
is the best friend I ever had.
Stu, you should write greeting cards.
(belches)
Ah! There it was.
You wanna taste this chili?
I told you I'd get him to go after one beer.
I didn't say he wouldn't be coming back.
Try it.
Mmm. It's good.
Mmm-mm-mm.
I know that we all used to be friends in college and everything,
but do you, um, like Stu now?
I know he can be a pain,
but we've shared a lot of good times.
Well, if you just met him today for the first time,
do you think that you would become friends?
Yeah. Really?
He's a lot of laughs.
I guess I just don't get it.
It's a guy thing. Yeah.
(metal pounding)
Wilson? Hi-ho, neighbor!
What are you doing? Oh, just pounding myself some horseshoes.
Wouldn't a pair of loafers be more comfortable?
No, no, no, Tim.
(sizzling)
These are shoes that I toss.
Look at this, Tim. Perfect weight.
Perfect balance. Aerodynamically correct.
Yeah. Aah! And very, very hot.
Oh, I tell you, Tim. I love this game.
What it is... it's all in the wrist.
Wilson, can I ask you something? Make your best pitch, Tim.
I've got this old friend in town.
And I always think we're gonna have a lot of fun,
but instead we always talk about all the fun we used to have.
Well, there's nothing wrong with reminiscing, Tim.
(clink)
But he thinks I'm the same guy I was 15 years ago.
Mm-hmm-hmm, mm-hmm-hmm.
And I try to be that guy, but I'm really not.
Well, it sounds like he's spending all his time looking backwards
and you're spending yours looking forward.
(clink)
That's it. I can't keep up with this guy.
The thought of crushing a beer can on my head
makes my butt quiver.
Well, that's why I gave it up, Tim.
(clink)
I don't know what to do about him.
Well, it sounds to me like you're having a hard time saying goodbye.
Why should I say goodbye?
He's been one of my best friends for 15 years.
Oh, has he, Tim? Or was he your best friend 15 years ago?
You see, Tim, I believe it was St. Paul who said,
"When I was a child, I spoke as a child,
I understood as a child, I thought as a child -
but when I became a man, I put away childish things."
(grunts)
Aah-ooh! Aah-ooh!
Hey, guess who I ran into down at the store.
Mike Forshay and Tino.
Hey, Tino. What are those guys up to now?
Oh, they're still a couple of wild dogs.
They're going down to the Club Piranha and get crazy.
I told them you and I would meet them there.
I'm not going to Club Piranha.
Well, you have to go.
You remember back in college the four of us stayed up 36 hours,
and then drove halfway to Mexico City
with the emergency brake on?
I'm not going out tonight. Why not?
Stu, I thought we were gonna stay here.
You know, watching TV with the video, chili with the kids?
Oh, right, the family thing.
No problem. I'll call Tino and Forshay.
They can get a keg of beer and come over here.
No, Stu. No.
Hey, this is Tino and Forshay. It'll be like old times.
Tell you what, why don't you go down to the Club Piranha
and you hang out with those guys tonight?
Without you? Come on! It won't be the same.
Well, Stu, I don't think it is the same.
Dad. Dinner's ready. Can I turn on the video?
Not now. OK.
What are you watching? The Sound of Music.
Maybe I will go down and meet Forshay and Tino.
Would I be a real jerk if I skipped dinner
and kinda headed out down there? No, no, not at all. Skip.
Well, I just don't wanna disappoint Jill.
Don't worry about it. It'll be rough,
but I'll be able to smooth it out.
Oh, how lovely. We'll have dinner music.
Boys. Perfect timing.
Come on, Uncle Stu, sit by us. Yeah.
Well, buddies, I gotta be heading out. Why?
Jill, I know this is gonna be a tremendous disappointment, all of you.
Stu can't stay for dinner or the movie.
Aw.
I ran into some old buddies.
We're just gonna go out to have some of coffee and talk.
Coffee?
Bye, Jill. Goodbye.
It was nice to see ya. It was good to see you too.
You be good, huh?
Yeah! Yeah.
(Mark) Bye. Take care.
Bye, Uncle Stu.
If you and Tino and Forshay get crazy, you call a cab, all right?
Always do.
Hey, next time I'm in town,
I'll give you a little more warning when I call.
Do that. Yeah, we'll still get together.
Hang out. Have some laughs.
Just like the old days, eh?
Like the old days. Hey, man. See ya.
Hey. Tell you what - keep the beer.
You go ahead. Come on.
See ya. See ya.
Everything OK? Perfect.
OK, Dad, the movie's ready.
OK, all right. Everybody can see? Yep.
Oh, wait. I need my box of tissues.
OK. Ready?
(♪ drums)
Wait a minute. This isn't The Sound of Music. This is Bayonet Hell?
Yeah!
Last time we showed you how to install an aluminum storm window
on an existing wooden frame.
Today we hung a storm door on an existing wood frame.
Now, the important thing about putting a door in is hanging it.
Because if it's not hung well, you got a problem, right, Al?
Speak for yourself, Tim.
When installing the door, you've got to make it fit exactly like it's supposed to.
So make sure your hinge is aligned with the king stud.
Well, thank you, Tm.
It's also very important to remember
that doors often change with age.
(grunting) The older a door gets...
the more warped it becomes.
Sometimes we forget that things change with age.
So remember... to check those doors.
They may not fit like you remembered.
(crash)
(woman) Stand by, please. OK.
Let's do that five-count.
Four... three...
(woman) And five, four, three, two...
As you remember, last time we showed you how to install
an aluminum storm window in an existing storm door.
(chuckles)
Good night. I'll be here all week.
Try the veal.
OK. I'll get it this time. (woman) OK.
Here we go. We're having some fun, though.
That's what counts, isn't it? In five, four...
Here? Great. We're here.
All right. Well, let's go here, then. In five, four...
three, two... Two. (sighs)
In five, four, three, two...
On last week's show... Excuse me. Let's start again.
Now, remember, those important-por-por...
Last time we showed you how to install
your storm window over an existing storm w...
Rolling. Stand by, please.
Sign my checks. Stand by, please.
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