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Dad, when's this gonna
look like a birdhouse?
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Soon, son, very soon.
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Remember, God is in the details,
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and details are what
makes me a craftsman
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and you a craftsboy. Oh-oh-oh.
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Oh-oh-oh.
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So, what are you making now?
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Fireplace.
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A fireplace?
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Yes, even birds need a place
to put their bowling trophies on.
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Ha-ha-ha-ha.
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Ooh, ooh, you know what?
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I have some really
cute little lace curtains
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from an old dollhouse
of mine in the attic.
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I was saving it for the
daughter we never had.
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No, no. This is a
man's birdhouse.
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The next thing we put
in is a leather recliner
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so that little bird
can kick back,
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put his thin little legs
up on the ottoman,
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pick up the paper, read it, put it back
on the floor, and poop on the paper.
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Well, you're the expert.
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All right. Mark, this has
gotta dry for about 30 minutes,
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and then we install the jacuzzi.
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You know, I could
live in this house.
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You got the legs for it.
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Tim, I want your
opinion about a dress.
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Quick, save yourself.
Run, go now, run!
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It's too late for me. Run, get
out of here, go! I'll distract her.
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Very cute. Which
dress do you like?
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Uh, either one.
They both look nice.
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I don't wanna look nice.
I wanna look different.
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Well, put 'em both on.
Go for that layered look.
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Oh, come on, Tim. I wanna make an
impression at this opera fund-raiser.
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When are you going
to an opera fund-raiser?
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We're going Saturday night.
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Saturday night?
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Yeah. I told you about
this Wednesday morning.
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No, you didn't.
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Yes, I most certainly did.
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You just weren't
listening, as usual.
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Oh, wasn't listening.
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Why don't you
repeat these things?
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Every time you say something important,
you're always walking out of the room.
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"Oh, honey, by the way,
this is very important.
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"The health of our
family relies on this...
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(gibberish)
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Saturday night."
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Well, did you keep
Saturday night open?
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Why should I? I didn't
know what all that...
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(gibberish) was.
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Why didn't you ask me?
Why don't you repeat it?
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I'm repeating it
now. We're going.
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Oh, man.
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Oh, come on, Tim.
It's gonna be lovely.
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They're singing highlights
from the Barber of Seville.
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Stage full of 300-pound
porkers going...
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♪ I got a bad haircut,
I got a bad haircut
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♪ Oh, they screwed up my bangs
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♪ You should've used conditioner
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♪ You should've used conditioner
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♪ He's... oh-ho! ♪
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We're going.
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Oh, oh, I almost forgot.
Don't forget to pick up...
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(gibberish) tomorrow!
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♪ I didn't hear you,
I didn't hear you! ♪
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Well, spring is right
around the corner.
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Al, what do you look
forward to at springtime?
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Turning my clock ahead, Tim.
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You party animal, you, Al.
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00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:06,989
When most people think of
spring, they think of spring cleaning.
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00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:10,694
And nothing more important
than cleaning your engine.
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Lisa. What Al and Lisa
are pushing out here
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is the engine out of my wife's
car. Ha-ha-ha. Just kidding.
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This is a very filthy five-liter
V-8, chrome valve covers,
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aluminum high rise and
a four-barrel carburetor.
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There you go, Tim.
Thank you, Lisa.
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And after a long, hard winter,
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you wanna gap your plugs,
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00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,411
flush your dirty radiator clean
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and make sure your
hose doesn't leak.
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Let's not get too personal, Al.
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First thing we wanna do
is degrease this bad boy
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using Binford's
new Engine Clean.
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It's perfect for home,
auto and airplane.
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All you gotta do is
spray it on a hot engine,
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rinse it off with
ordinary tap water.
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At this point, your wife
may look at you, going,
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(feminine voice) "What are you
doing in this engine compartment
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"cleaning a dirty, old
engine, you dumb ox?
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The floor needs cleaning!"
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(normal voice) At this point,
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I usually take the hood
and go, "Dink." Ha-ha-ha.
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That's...
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P.O. Box 3273...
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00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:05,782
Al, Al, I think that women
know that I'm just joshing.
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00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,385
Besides, why would a woman
be looking under the hood of a car?
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We don't look under the
washing machine, do we?
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That's P.O. Box 32733...
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Detroit...
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MI.
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Anyway, the way a
man treats his machine
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says something about the man.
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It says pride. Pride
in workmanship.
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That's what it's all
about. You tell 'em, junior.
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Boy, I like that kind of enthusiasm.
You know what I'm talking about?
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I sure do. Me and my partner
been building cars for 42 years.
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No kidding.
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No, it's true. We were
on the assembly line
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at the Dearborn plant
out there on Miller Road.
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Why don't we talk to these
guys? Two American workers.
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Let's get 'em down here. Come
on, you guys. Yeah! Come on.
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Yeah. Come on. Yeah.
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Hey, are we really on TV?
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These aren't hairdryers,
pal. Yeah, you're on TV.
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Do we get Tool Time hats?
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I don't have any, but, Al,
let's get two hats for 'em.
118
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All right, gentlemen,
what are you names?
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I'm Hick Peterson.
120
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Hello, Hick. How you doing?
121
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Eddie Phillips.
122
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,879
How you guys doing? Welcome
to Tool Time. This is Al over here.
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We know Al. Oh, we love Al!
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Oh, we all love Al.
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Hey, Al, come on. Give
us one of them big salutes.
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Al, Al, Al...
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Al, Al, Al, Al...
128
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Hey, hey, hey!
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Hey, hey, hey, hey!
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I don't wanna disturb this
love fest you have going here,
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but let me remind
you of something...
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Al is my assistant.
He assists me!
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All right, gentlemen,
134
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what do you say we sit
down and chat a little bit?
135
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Oh, yeah.
136
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All week long, we been doing
our salute to workmanship,
137
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and who would know more about
workmanship than you two guys?
138
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40 some-odd years on
the line. What'd you do?
139
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Well, Hick here was headlight
alignment. I was rear bumpers.
140
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From the beginning
to the end. Yep.
141
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Cool. You know,
42 years on the line,
142
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you must've pushed out
some good Detroit iron.
143
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,133
Ah... let me ask you a question.
144
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:07,103
In all those years, what
was your favorite car?
145
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,738
Oh, a '55 Thunderbird.
146
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,440
No doubt about it, the 'Bird.
147
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:13,209
Ford's answer to the Corvette.
It was a two-seater. Had...
148
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,545
V-8 engine,
three-speed overdrive...
149
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:18,047
front suspension, upper and
lower A-arms and coil springs.
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00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:19,449
That thing,
power-to-weight ratio,
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00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,618
it could do zero to 60 in
under ten seconds. Ar-ar-ar.
152
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:24,220
Ar-ar-ar. Ar-ar-ar.
153
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(coughs) Good one
always cleans me out.
154
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It must've been a great day watching
that first T-bird roll off that line.
155
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Oh, great day, but they
were all good days back then.
156
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We used to knock out
about a hundred cars a day,
157
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and after work, Hick and me,
we'd go down and have a Stinky.
158
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A Stinky? It's a sandwich.
159
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:44,373
It was my own invention.
160
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Limburger cheese, sauerkraut,
161
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big slice of Bermuda onion
and some hot mustard.
162
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Ooh-hoo. Ha-ha-ha.
163
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,704
Why didn't you
just lick a skunk?
164
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:57,787
And, Tim, they still
make a great Stinky at...
165
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:02,291
down at Big Mike's Tavern
at Fourth and Jefferson!
166
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,361
Hey, that ought to
take care of our tab.
167
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:07,396
Yeah, right. Hi, Mike.
168
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,198
Big Mike's Tavern.
169
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,033
That sounds like
a man's bar there.
170
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,368
You know it, junior.
171
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:16,372
Pool tables, dark wood,
American beer. Ha-ha-ha.
172
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,641
We go there all the time.
173
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,710
Fourth and Jefferson!
174
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:23,813
All right, all right. That's all the
time we have for Tool Time this week.
175
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:27,484
Al, what do you say we give these two
American workers a Tool Time salute?
176
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,919
Hey. Thank you.
177
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,321
And remember,
men build machines.
178
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,990
They don't build themselves.
179
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,493
So next time you see a
'55 T-bird, remember...
180
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:40,329
this is the face of the man
who installed that bumper,
181
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,488
and this is the face of the
man that aligned the headlights.
182
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:52,509
Remember... if you didn't put
it together with your own hands,
183
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,810
it's not really yours.
184
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,746
See you next time
on Tool Time. Ar-ar-ar.
185
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,270
Ar-ar-ar. Hey.
186
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,223
Hey, pea brain,
what are you doing?
187
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,492
Getting a piece of bread to
feed the birds in the backyard.
188
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:12,294
You doofus, birds don't
eat bread. They eat worms.
189
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:14,898
Yeah, you have to do
what the mommy bird does.
190
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,766
What's that?
191
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:19,936
Chew up the worms and spit
it into the baby bird's mouth.
192
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,272
Ew. I'm not eating any worms.
193
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:26,576
Well, if you want the
baby birds to starve...
194
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:29,646
Maybe I could just eat one worm.
195
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,113
Now you're talking.
196
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,149
Hey, guys, where you going?
197
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,484
Outside to feed the birds.
198
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:38,588
I'm gonna chew up a worm
just like the mommy bird.
199
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,023
No, you're not.
200
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:44,561
Brad, Randy, I believe you
two have homework to do.
201
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:48,954
Mark, spread the bread
around for the birds, OK?
202
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,703
Hi.
203
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,137
Hi. How was your show?
204
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:57,473
Terrific. I heard about
a new restaurant...
205
00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:58,975
Big Mike's Tavern.
206
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,743
I thought maybe we'd go
down there this weekend.
207
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,511
What night would be good?
208
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:06,849
Forget it. We are going
to the opera fund-raiser.
209
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:08,150
Oh, man.
210
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,587
Now come here.
I'm really excited.
211
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:13,189
I found the perfect
thing to wear.
212
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,625
It's a little daring,
but I think it's fun.
213
00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:17,927
A tuxedo?
214
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:18,928
Yeah, what do you think?
215
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:19,963
Hee-hee-hee.
216
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,664
What's so funny?
217
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:24,567
I just never been out
with a maitre d' before.
218
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:27,536
I don't know why I
bothered to show you this.
219
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:28,871
You don't care
about this fund-raiser.
220
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,873
It's not that I don't care.
221
00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:33,442
I'm a little tired of you making
these big plans without telling me.
222
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,445
Hold on. This whole thing
was your idea in the first place.
223
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,814
What?
224
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:40,817
Yes. Mrs. Larson asked us
at church two months ago,
225
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,352
and you said, "Oh,
yeah, we'd love to come."
226
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,988
I didn't mean that.
I was being polite.
227
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,422
She thought you meant it.
228
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:48,457
I thought you meant it. You
should say what you mean.
229
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,759
Like you do?
230
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,360
Yes, like I do.
231
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:52,829
Wasn't it you that said
Mrs. Larson looked...
232
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,530
(imitates Jill) just hideous...
233
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:57,133
(normal voice) ...in that
purple muumuu she had on?
234
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,668
Well, she did look hideous.
235
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,103
She looked like a
giant egg plant. So?
236
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:03,239
Aha. But when she comes
back over the second time,
237
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,574
you said, "Ah, Mrs.
Larson, you look lovely."
238
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,576
Why don't you say what you mean?
239
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,578
"You look hideous,
you big, fat muumuu."
240
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:12,448
She didn't ask me if
she looked hideous.
241
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,450
She asked you if we were
going to the fund-raiser.
242
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:17,186
You said, "Yes," so
she sent the tickets.
243
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,355
Why didn't you just tell me?
244
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,590
I did tell you. Tim, I
told you three times.
245
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,359
I'm not stupid. If you
told me three times,
246
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,762
I would've remembered
saying no three times.
247
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,163
What are you saying,
you're not gonna go?
248
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,398
No. This'll be the fourth time.
249
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,668
Then fine. I'll put a dress
under my tux and take myself.
250
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,503
Ar-ar-arr-ar-arr-arr!
251
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,094
♪ Ahh! ♪
252
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:47,249
Here you go. One
brewskie, one buttermilk.
253
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,786
Ah, a toast to Mike.
254
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:53,355
Here's to your health
and to your happiness, sir.
255
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,957
How about paying your tab?
256
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:57,193
And to your fine generosity.
257
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,795
That'll be $3.
258
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,197
We take back our toast.
259
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,867
Hey, everybody, look who's here!
260
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:07,036
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
261
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,237
Hello, Tim. Hey!
262
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,106
Hi, guys. Hi, everybody.
263
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:12,274
That's Mike over
there behind the bar.
264
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:13,743
Hi, Mike. How you doing?
265
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,311
Good to meet you, Tim.
266
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:17,680
Tim Taylor. Good to my word,
I brought you guys some hats.
267
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:19,982
Oh, man, thanks a million.
268
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:22,451
We promised you a Stinky.
Mike, fix him a nice big one.
269
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:23,820
Coming right up.
270
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,321
Mike, don't bother.
271
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,724
It's not gonna bother me.
I'm not the one eating it.
272
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,392
Hey, we're glad you dropped by.
273
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,629
There's a bunch of guys we used to
work with are gonna be here tonight,
274
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,832
and, boy, would
they love to meet you.
275
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,033
I'd love to, but not tonight.
276
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,267
I believe my wife is dragging me
277
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,269
to the Michigan Opera
Theater fund-raiser...
278
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,971
Don't do it. What?
279
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:46,475
Just put your foot down and
say, "Woman, I'm not goin'."
280
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:49,378
Now, you see?
That's the attitude
281
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:52,248
that kept you a
bachelor all your life.
282
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,884
Of course, your face
didn't help much, either.
283
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:59,055
Well, the ladies down at the
senior center don't seem to mind.
284
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:02,024
You should see me at those
Saturday night dances, boy.
285
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:04,627
Sit down. Sit down.
Just for a minute.
286
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:07,897
So what if it's the opera.
Look on the good side of it.
287
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:12,802
You're gonna get to see your wife
all dolled up in a beautiful gown...
288
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:15,104
She wants to wear a tux.
289
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,339
I hate to see a
woman wearin' pants.
290
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:20,910
Down at senior center, I
won't even dance with a woman
291
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,711
unless she's wearing nylons
292
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,713
with a nice seam right
up the back of her legs.
293
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:27,471
Those aren't seams.
Those are veins.
294
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:33,189
My point is, Tim, that in the
old days, women wore dresses,
295
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:36,025
and they hung on your
arm on a Saturday night,
296
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,895
and they liked it when
you call 'em "dame."
297
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:40,696
I don't think Jill
would like if...
298
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,832
(imitating Hick) I called dame.
299
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:46,269
Well, dame, doll, gal,
babe. Whatever she likes.
300
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,537
That's good advice, but
I really gotta get moving.
301
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,673
You haven't had your
Stinky yet. You have it.
302
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,675
We haven't solved
your problem yet.
303
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:54,643
I came in with
hats, not a problem.
304
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,046
You mean your wife's making
you someplace you don't wanna go
305
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:59,148
and she's starting to
wear men's clothes,
306
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,483
and you're telling us
you don't have a problem?
307
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:04,753
The problem is,
up until yesterday,
308
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:08,357
I don't think she ever told me
we're going to a fund-raiser.
309
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:09,859
That's a woman for you.
310
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:11,928
And the crazy thing is, she
tells me she said it three times,
311
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:13,329
and I know she didn't.
312
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:17,033
Women like to control men,
and they do it by confusing 'em.
313
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:21,337
See, by changing the rules and
wanting to wear men's clothes.
314
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:25,574
Tim, you've got to fight
confusion with confusion.
315
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,476
Oh, yeah?
316
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:31,280
You go home and you
put on one of her dresses.
317
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,904
Ohh...
318
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:36,819
You want this man
to wear a dress?
319
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:39,355
Desperate times call
for desperate measures.
320
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,357
Oh, don't listen to
that old windbag.
321
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,559
Listen, I was
married for 45 years,
322
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,995
and the one thing I learned
323
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,997
was that men and
women are different.
324
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,566
Took him 45 years
to figure that out.
325
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:54,703
Oh. All I'm saying is
that women are subtle.
326
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:58,140
Your wife probably told you
about this evening in her own way.
327
00:14:58,164 --> 00:14:59,508
No, absolutely not.
328
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:02,144
If she'd told me, I
would've remembered that.
329
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:05,147
Think. She never said
anything about a fund-raiser?
330
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,149
No. She said, "I'm gonna
dry-clean your tuxedo,"
331
00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:09,385
and something about
Saturday hors d'oeuvres.
332
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,652
That was it.
333
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:13,522
I mean, written something
down on a paper, calendar.
334
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,258
Our calendar's
circled on Saturday,
335
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:18,027
but all she wrote
was, "Fur raisins."
336
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:20,429
Fur raisins? Yeah, fur raisins.
337
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,031
Fur raisin.
338
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:24,033
Could that be...
339
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,968
Fund-raiser? Fund-raiser?
340
00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:28,159
Oh, no.
341
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:30,506
Hi, Mom.
342
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,276
Hi. I thought you were gonna
paint that birdhouse stand
343
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,777
when your dad got home.
344
00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:36,979
I wanted it to be a surprise.
345
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:39,015
How many coats of
paint did you put on this?
346
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,449
12?
347
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:43,752
Yeah, he's gonna
be real surprised.
348
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:47,423
Look, why don't you
go get cleaned up,
349
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:50,092
and I'll clean your brush
out for you, all right?
350
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,460
OK.
351
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:55,553
Don't touch anything
on your way up, OK?
352
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,003
Hey, Wilson.
353
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:02,793
Hi-ho, lady neighbor.
354
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:07,176
What are you doing over there?
355
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,545
Oh, just letting off a
little bit of steam, Jill.
356
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:14,205
Hmm-hmm. Nothing relaxes me
more than a good game of croquet.
357
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,021
Can I ask you something?
358
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:20,423
Step up to the wicket, Jill.
359
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:24,126
Do you think that
Tim is a good listener?
360
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:27,129
Yes, I think Tim is
a very good listener.
361
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,598
Does he understand
everything you say?
362
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,357
I think Tim is a
very good listener.
363
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:36,905
Well, I don't think
he listens to me at all.
364
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,575
I told him about this event
we're going to three times,
365
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,344
and he acts like I
never said anything.
366
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:42,544
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
367
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,813
I don't know how I
could've been clearer.
368
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,882
I told him I was
getting his tux cleaned,
369
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:48,717
I told him about
the hors d'oeuvres
370
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,552
we were having Saturday night,
371
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:52,955
I even circled it
on the calendar.
372
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:55,024
I did practically everything
except sit him down and say,
373
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,960
"Tim, we are going to a
fund-raiser Saturday night."
374
00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:59,962
Oh, my God, I never did that.
375
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:03,232
Oh, man!
376
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:06,869
I can't believe it.
377
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:11,940
All of this arguing,
and he was right.
378
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:15,611
Oh, no, I feel terrible.
This is all my fault.
379
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,279
I should apologize to him.
380
00:17:17,303 --> 00:17:19,615
Thank you, Wilson. You've
really been a big help.
381
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,484
Hmm.
382
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,819
Somehow it's
always easier with Jill.
383
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:26,577
Heh-heh-heh.
384
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:33,729
Oh, I'm so glad you're home.
I've gotta tell you something.
385
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,164
I've got something
real important to tell you.
386
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:36,932
You should let me go first.
387
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,534
No, please, let me. Come on.
388
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,369
All right.
389
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:43,872
I realized today that you probably
did tell me about this fund-raiser.
390
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,075
You didn't come
right out and tell me,
391
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:48,110
but in your subtle way, you said
it, two or three times, anyway,
392
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:50,346
and when I'm not
interested in something,
393
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:51,980
I don't pay attention.
394
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:55,184
It's my fault, I'm
sorry, and I apologize.
395
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,019
Oh, thank you, sweetie.
396
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:59,843
We'll have a good time.
What were you gonna tell me?
397
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:08,564
Nothin'.
398
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:11,033
See ya, guys.
399
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:12,868
Take it easy.
400
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:15,137
It was nice seeing
Ziggy again, huh?
401
00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:17,306
Boy, has he gone to the dogs.
402
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:21,377
Yeah, I hate it when a
guy doesn't keep himself up.
403
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:22,600
Yeah.
404
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:27,649
Hey, look who's here.
405
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:30,553
I thought you had
an event to go to.
406
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:33,122
Well, my wife and I
communicated and compromised
407
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:35,657
and decided to spend half
the night at the fund-raiser
408
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,093
and the other half of
the night with you fellas.
409
00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,094
All right.
410
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,861
And we're starving.
411
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:41,930
Fix you up a couple of Stinkys?
412
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,767
Oof. No. Still loving
that one I had today.
413
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,305
How about your shrimp plate
and a big salad for us? You got it.
414
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:52,274
I'm sorry. Guys... Hick,
Eddie, this is my wife Jill.
415
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:55,144
It's a great pleasure
to meet you, my dear.
416
00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:56,712
Thank you very much.
417
00:18:56,736 --> 00:19:00,583
My, my, my, my, my, my.
418
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:04,987
I love a woman in a tuxedo.
419
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:08,290
I thought you said you
didn't like women in pants.
420
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,792
Did I say that, junior? Yes.
421
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:14,163
It's OK if it's a glamour
package like Jill here.
422
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:16,798
Well, thank you.
423
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:20,302
You are one classy dame.
424
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,338
And you are trouble.
425
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,573
And you know it. Ha-ha-ha.
426
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:27,876
Hey, how about tripping the
light fandango with me over there
427
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,078
if your husband doesn't mind?
428
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,713
You don't mind, do you, junior?
429
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,350
Junior? No, go ahead.
430
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,752
OK. Watch his hands.
431
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:42,591
I got a step I do down at the senior
center I think you're gonna like.
432
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,226
There.
433
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,995
(♪ "When I Fall in
Love" by Nat "King" Cole)
434
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,865
How would you
like to be in my will?
435
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,433
Whoo!
436
00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:54,069
Your wife certainly
lights up a room.
437
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:56,372
Yeah, she certainly does.
438
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:59,408
I'm glad to see the two
of you worked things out.
439
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:02,944
I don't know how we worked
things out. I apologized.
440
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,981
I don't think I'm ever
gonna figure her out.
441
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:11,453
Don't. You know, I was
married to Tildy for 45 years,
442
00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:15,157
and this woman,
God rest her soul,
443
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:18,794
used to drive me
absolutely crazy.
444
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:23,131
She had these ugly
little porcelain cats
445
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:27,670
that she used to love to
line up on a windowsill.
446
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:32,841
And every day for 45 years,
447
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:36,878
I used to take those
cats off the windowsill
448
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,348
and put 'em in a cupboard,
449
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:43,552
and every day for 45 years,
450
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:48,178
she'd take 'em out of the
cupboard and put 'em back.
451
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:52,528
Where are they now?
452
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:55,764
On a windowsill.
453
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,733
Didn't throw 'em out?
454
00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,691
What for?
455
00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:06,875
You know, you don't have
to understand a woman.
456
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:11,079
All you gotta do is love her.
457
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,716
(Jill chuckles)
458
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:17,853
Hey, you get up there. Come on.
459
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:20,723
Oh, please.
460
00:21:20,747 --> 00:21:22,324
♪ My heart
461
00:21:22,348 --> 00:21:25,794
Ahem. Mind if I cut in?
462
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:27,162
Is it all right with you?
463
00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:31,032
Oh, OK.
464
00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:33,424
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
465
00:21:39,699 --> 00:21:47,699
♪ Is when I fall
in love with you ♪
466
00:22:13,299 --> 00:22:15,644
I finished the birdhouse.
467
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,379
Look.
468
00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:19,448
They're sitting on the
tree. Why don't they go in?
469
00:22:19,472 --> 00:22:22,017
He's probably thinking the
house is way too expensive.
470
00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:24,420
"I'd have to win the
lottery to go in there."
471
00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:25,987
I don't think so, Tim.
472
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:28,691
He sees the jacuzzi and
fresh papers everywhere.
473
00:22:28,715 --> 00:22:30,759
Nah. He's saying,
"Forget the papers.
474
00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:32,761
Let's find a statue of Tim."
475
00:22:32,785 --> 00:22:36,220
Oh, look, a cat.
Just kidding, fellas.
476
00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:40,636
(Jill) Stop picking at yourself.
477
00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:43,639
(Tim) What's this
itch over here? Oh...
478
00:22:43,663 --> 00:22:45,407
You got one, too, huh? Yeah.
479
00:22:45,431 --> 00:22:48,377
Where did I put that shoehorn?
480
00:22:48,401 --> 00:22:50,735
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
481
00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:54,983
Well, you gave it to me.
482
00:22:55,007 --> 00:22:58,153
The guy only lives...
Wait. Hold on a second.
483
00:22:58,177 --> 00:23:01,256
(laughter)
484
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,481
Ooh, that stuff's
catching, honey.
484
00:23:04,305 --> 00:24:04,704
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