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2
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Mom, I can't find the hose.
3
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,254
What do you want it for, anyway?
4
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,622
Uh, nothing. Just
something to do.
5
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Why don't you read a book?
6
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:24,528
You can't make mud
with a book. Mud?
7
00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:27,764
We're playing commandos, putting
mud on our faces for camouflage.
8
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:28,965
No mud.
9
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(both) Aw, man!
10
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Wait a second. Wait a second.
11
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:35,305
You really want your
faces dirty? (both) Yeah.
12
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OK, come here.
13
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(imitating car engine) All
right, take a sharp right.
14
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All right, watch out for
pedestrians and the refrigerator.
15
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,982
Got it, Dad. Beep-beep.
16
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:47,984
Hey, guys. (both) Hi, Dad.
17
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,687
What, are you giving
each other facials?
18
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:54,157
No. We're playing commandos.
19
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:56,593
What, are you attacking a
beauty salon or something?
20
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,928
(laughs) Hi, honey.
21
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,930
The auto parts god... Gear
Shift... has shined on me.
22
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,566
I found this today
at the junkyard.
23
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:04,301
(grunts)
24
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,535
(laughs)
25
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,036
That's my woman.
26
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:10,273
Woman, watch your man
weld. Fire. Metal. Heat. Ar-ar-ar.
27
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:13,176
Oh, Tim, look out
for the po... (crash)
28
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,445
pottery wheel.
29
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,447
Ohh, that had to hurt.
30
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,782
Try it, tell me what you think.
31
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:23,153
Mark, I think maybe you should go
play commandos with your big bros.
32
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:24,988
Wow. Cool.
33
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:26,823
What's this doing in the garage?
34
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,992
I thought we wanted
to put it in the basement.
35
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:30,994
We were, but I can't
work down there.
36
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:33,497
Oh, come on. It'll be quiet.
The kids won't go down there.
37
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,499
Ugh. It's just damp,
38
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:38,535
and there are bugs.
39
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:42,205
Well, I'll get you a sponge
and an anteater or something.
40
00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:44,541
No, look, my
pottery teacher said
41
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:48,211
that I should work where the
creative energy feels the strongest,
42
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:50,713
and since Paris is
out of the question,
43
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,216
I picked the garage,
and I really like it.
44
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,052
Well, I don't think it's
creative energy you're sensing.
45
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:58,421
This is grease
energy, it's man energy,
46
00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:01,358
and it's... Oh, it's tough,
even for a woman like you.
47
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:04,483
This would suck the estrogen
right out of you, honey.
48
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:10,099
What you really mean
is that it's your garage,
49
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,335
and I don't belong here.
50
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,437
What I really mean
is, it's our garage,
51
00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:16,439
and you don't belong out here.
52
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:18,107
Yeah, I see.
53
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:21,578
Now, didn't we agree to put
this in the basement, hon?
54
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:24,314
OK. You got it. Move it.
55
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:27,350
Great. Get the
door for me. All right.
56
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,352
How many guys
brought this in here?
57
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,354
Just one little skinny guy.
58
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OK.
59
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,193
(grunting)
60
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:38,195
Tim, you're gonna
hurt your back.
61
00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:41,130
You need to lift with your legs.
62
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,766
Is that what he did?
63
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:46,291
No, he had a forklift. Oh!
64
00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:49,206
Honey...
65
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:51,774
Look, your area
is way over there.
66
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,776
Mine is way over here.
67
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,446
If I bother you, you can
just tell me, and I'll leave.
68
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,615
Good. Jill? What?
69
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,116
You're bothering me.
70
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,784
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
71
00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:04,754
I'm kidding. We'll
share the garage. Good.
72
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:07,424
I was just concerned
about your safety.
73
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,926
I gotta put on the
steering box today,
74
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,928
and you know what that means?
75
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,463
Welding.
76
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,532
Sparks, heat,
77
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noise, sweat.
78
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:22,527
Wow. We should have
welded on our honeymoon.
79
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,142
Once you've
installed your drawer,
80
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:29,011
it's always a good idea to
slide it in a couple times...
81
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:32,782
Uhh. Oh? Rrah!
82
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,619
Just to make sure it's
seated properly on the track.
83
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,621
You can always be confident now,
84
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:40,290
because the stop will
prevent the drawer... Oh!
85
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,959
Jeez, Al! Thanks, Warren.
86
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:47,597
Al, you didn't get
the stop in there.
87
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,300
I believe that
was your job, Tim.
88
00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:52,602
Al, I believe
you're my assistant.
89
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,104
You're supposed to
check up my work, right?
90
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:58,875
That's what a good
assistant does, right, Al?
91
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:02,211
A good assistant does
a lot more than that, Tim.
92
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:04,581
You're right, Al,
93
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,584
and that's why Al and I
plan these minor slip-ups...
94
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:10,953
to demonstrate the importance
of how a good assistant
95
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,890
can prevent accidents like this.
96
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,159
Isn't that right, Al?
97
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:18,617
I don't think so, Tim.
98
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,532
I think what Al means
99
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:25,535
is, if you're not careful
and watch your step,
100
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:28,293
you can screw
up just like Al did.
101
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:34,098
Tool Time tip...
Don't be like Al.
102
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,936
See you next time, everybody.
103
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:43,586
(Lisa) Bye, guys.
104
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,922
Night, Lisa. Good night, Lisa.
105
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,425
Night, Al.
106
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,527
Al?
107
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:54,631
What's the matter, Allie?
108
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,366
Oo-hoo.
109
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:59,001
Aw, women troubles again, huh?
110
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Come on, tell me.
What's the matter?
111
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:05,775
If you don't know, I'm
not going to tell you.
112
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:09,278
Well, if you won't tell
me, how do I know?
113
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,948
Tim, you embarrassed me today.
114
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:15,985
Oh, that's no big deal. I
always embarrass you.
115
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:20,189
Hey, the audience
knows I'm kidding around.
116
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:23,793
I've gotten used to the fact
that you don't respect me...
117
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,294
That's not true.
118
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:27,296
But sometimes your
constant clowning
119
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,298
is a mockery of
home improvement.
120
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,189
A mockery?
121
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:38,742
Yes. And sometimes it's just
a little more than I can bear.
122
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:40,577
Oh, come on, Al,
123
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,012
you're not gonna cry, are you?
124
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:45,370
I might.
125
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:50,152
I take my work seriously.
All you do is crack jokes.
126
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Crack jokes? Well, the
way you bend over like that...
127
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:55,425
Well, you see, now, that's
what I'm talking about.
128
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,260
Al, this show's
part entertainment.
129
00:06:57,284 --> 00:07:00,263
It takes a lot of skill to entertain the
audience while we do our projects.
130
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:02,131
Anyone can do what you do.
131
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:05,101
Oh, really? Do you think
you can do what I do?
132
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,103
Oh, please, how hard can it be
133
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:10,161
to tell bad jokes and
screw up all the time?
134
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:17,736
A lot harder than it looks.
135
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:23,486
That isn't all that you
think I do, do you?
136
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,921
Yes.
137
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,512
And so do most of your viewers.
138
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,762
Hey, I got an idea, Al.
139
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,764
This is one you're gonna like.
140
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,434
Next time, why don't
you try to host the show
141
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:40,102
and I'll try to be
the assistant?
142
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,060
You really mean that?
143
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:46,676
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
144
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:51,347
We'll call it Tool Time With Al "I
Take My Job Seriously" Borland.
145
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,949
Fine.
146
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,717
Fine.
147
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:57,075
Fine! Fine!
148
00:07:58,278 --> 00:07:59,923
(softly) Fine.
149
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:02,267
(door closes) Hide!
150
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:09,966
Aw, man. Where'd everybody go?
151
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,968
Guess I have to do that welding
152
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:14,036
all by myself.
153
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,072
Oh, that's a thirsty job.
154
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,074
I'll get a big drink of water
155
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:20,076
before I go back
out to the garage.
156
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,311
Aah! Aah!
157
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,981
Stop! No fair! Cut it out.
158
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,983
You surrender, or
more squirts here?
159
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,118
You're not allowed to
squirt water in the house.
160
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,187
Yeah, we're gonna tell Mom.
161
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:34,991
Ooh, commando's
gonna tell his mommy.
162
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,627
Yeah, you're gonna get in
real big trouble. Oh, am I?
163
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:40,162
My word against yours? Who
do you think she's gonna believe?
164
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,598
Them. Wha...? Oh, honey.
165
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,265
Stop squirting that thing. Hey!
166
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,267
Get some towels
and clean this up!
167
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,269
Oh, I don't know
where they get this.
168
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:49,405
I do. Honey, honey...
169
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,975
Put 'em up. All right,
I'm your prisoner.
170
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:55,600
Do what you will
to me over and over.
171
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,214
Let's face it, Tim.
172
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,572
With you, once
it's over, it's over.
173
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:05,577
Come here. I wanna
show you something.
174
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,926
Ta-da! What do you think?
175
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:11,995
Wow. Whatever it is,
176
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,631
it's one of the finest
examples I've ever seen.
177
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,132
No, no, it's a bowl.
178
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,968
No, Jill, it's... it's so
much more than that.
179
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:21,704
(laughs) No, come on. This
is not as easy as it looks.
180
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,440
This is the first thing I've
gotten to stay standing up.
181
00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:25,942
I'm so proud of it.
182
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,944
(sniffs)
183
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,812
What's that smell?
184
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:33,104
Oh, um, it's some
lavender potpourri.
185
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,423
Lavender potpourri.
186
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:44,493
This is the garage, not
the Liberace Museum.
187
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:49,198
Just go back to your
hot rod and shut up.
188
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:51,623
(crackling)
189
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,762
(♪ opera)
190
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:10,787
Jill, I can't work
with this noise.
191
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:13,623
How can you call that noise?
192
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:17,326
(singing along)
193
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:20,752
That's not noise, that's
a proctology exam.
194
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:25,034
(music stops) Hey! Come on!
195
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:28,805
Honey, honey, ooh,
ix-nay, ix-nay iggay-ay...
196
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:32,075
You remember you promised if
you were bothering me, you'd leave?
197
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,643
I'm not bothering you.
198
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,645
Yes, you are. Well,
don't be silly. I am not.
199
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,847
If I say you're bothering
me, you're bothering me.
200
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,716
Well, then, you leave.
201
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,718
I'm building my
hot rod out here.
202
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:43,720
Oh, and I'm just
playing with clay.
203
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,154
Yeah. Well, well...
204
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:48,224
Oh, so your stuff is more
important than my stuff?
205
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:51,894
No, but at least
it's garage-y stuff.
206
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:54,897
You know? It's cars,
it's tools, it's grease.
207
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:58,556
It's not this little
artsy... Ohh.
208
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,570
I can fix th...
209
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,327
Hey, look at that.
210
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:07,866
I'm...
211
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:17,820
Mark, come out of there.
212
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:21,423
Did your brothers
do this to you again?
213
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:24,560
I can't tell you. Randy
told me not to. Let me see.
214
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:26,562
Don't untie me,
Mom. I'm a prisoner.
215
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,931
It's the only way they'll
let me play with them.
216
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:32,001
Jill, I fixed the pot.
217
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,038
You're not the only
genius in the family.
218
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:36,338
(Jill) Thanks.
219
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,240
Well...
220
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:41,766
it's not perfect, but it's
pretty close to the original.
221
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:48,073
Did you break a pot, too?
222
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:53,322
He's escaped! Book it!
223
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,680
Hey! Come back here.
224
00:11:57,751 --> 00:12:00,496
Randy, did you do this to him?
225
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,286
The truth.
226
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,636
Well, I tied him up, but
Brad put him in the closet.
227
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:10,539
Hey, she didn't ask
anything about me.
228
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,141
Now untie him.
229
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,676
Come on, Mark.
230
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,778
I didn't tell on you.
231
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:17,780
She found me.
232
00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:21,350
Jill, what is this? This is
a garage-use timetable.
233
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,352
Since we can't share
the garage together,
234
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,354
I thought we should
share it separately.
235
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,890
Honey, I don't have
any time on there.
236
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,892
I gave you plenty of spaces.
237
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:33,629
Oh, what, like between two
and three on Tuesdays? I work.
238
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,131
Oh, that's right.
239
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,900
Well, I'll just take that
space, too. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
240
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:41,204
I love this between 12 and 6am.
241
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:43,206
That's when we sleep together.
242
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:46,364
Now you're catching on, big boy.
243
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:51,347
I should have never let you
into my garage in the first place.
244
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:54,016
Aha! Your garage.
The truth comes out.
245
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:58,154
Honey, you know what I mean. I got
the hot rod here. I got my tool bench.
246
00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,322
I've already given you a
place for the washing machines.
247
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,324
I guess I should be grateful
248
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:04,994
that you let me
come into your garage
249
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,695
to do your laundry.
250
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:09,632
What I'm trying to get
at is this is a man zone.
251
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,467
Where is the woman zone, Tim?
252
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:14,237
All I got is the garage. You got
the whole rest of the damn house.
253
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:15,604
To do what, clean?
254
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,908
No. Knit, sew, cook, vacuum...
255
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:22,178
I'm kidding, I'm
kidding, I'm kidding.
256
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:25,014
Ow! So am I.
257
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:30,552
And now Binford Tools is
proud to present Tool Time...
258
00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:36,192
with its very special guest
host Al "the Tool Man" Borland.
259
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:38,716
(cheers and applause)
260
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,732
Hi!
261
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,501
Hi.
262
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:48,971
And... And welcome to Tool Time,
263
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,740
the show with more power.
264
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:52,864
Or!
265
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:58,014
Uh, you all know
my guest assistant,
266
00:13:58,038 --> 00:14:01,039
Tim "the Assistant Man" Taylor.
267
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:08,757
Tim and I are going to
be showing you today
268
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,960
the proper method
of installing...
269
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:11,961
uh, decorative molding
270
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:16,587
around the interior
of a doorway.
271
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,459
Thank you, Lisa.
272
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,777
(knocks)
273
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,179
Jeez, Al.
274
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:33,149
Uh, Tim, do you suppose
275
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,651
if Little Miss Muffet
went through there,
276
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,453
instead of a doorway,
277
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,788
they'd call it a
"curds and whey"?
278
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:43,292
(snorts)
279
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:45,516
I don't think so, Al.
280
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:49,287
Why not?
281
00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:55,693
That's Al "I Take My
Job Seriously" Borland...
282
00:14:57,097 --> 00:15:02,211
OK. So, uh, the most
common decorative molding
283
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:06,916
are the casings which go
around the doors and windows
284
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,751
and the baseboards...
285
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,152
Thank you, Tim...
286
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:15,191
which go on the, uh,
uh, the... they go...
287
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:16,192
Bottom?
288
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,627
Bottom of the walls!
289
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:22,831
And the crown molding,
which, of course, go up on...
290
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:24,133
Oh...
291
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,635
Could I assist
you with that, Al?
292
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,204
No, thank you, Tim.
293
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:31,307
We could use a staple gun
right to your Adam's apple, Al.
294
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:35,044
And, you know,
speaking of staple guns,
295
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:40,283
the, uh... do you suppose
that they call it a staple gun
296
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,606
because it shoots out staples?
297
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,924
Yes, I do, Al.
298
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:50,559
Well, I... I agree, Tim.
299
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,029
All right, first off,
300
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:56,165
we're gonna get to
our miter box here.
301
00:15:56,189 --> 00:16:01,703
Ah, so, but first, I would like
to get something off my chest.
302
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,094
That tie?
303
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:10,046
Uh, I'm just...
304
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:14,350
I'm just a little
bit cheesed here.
305
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:18,087
The other day, I was
in the supermarket
306
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:22,458
and I was in the
frozen foods section,
307
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:26,429
and they had lima
beans, 3 for $1,
308
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,564
and I took four.
309
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,799
And the lady at the
checkout counter said,
310
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,858
"Hey, can't you count?"
311
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:42,300
Women, huh? Are
you with me on this?
312
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:47,016
Are you hot?
313
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,752
Al, I'm having a little trouble
with the compressor back here!
314
00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:52,388
(compressor thumps)
315
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,056
(hiss hiss hiss)
316
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:58,194
Oh! I hope we didn't
scare anybody just then,
317
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:01,597
but it was Al's idea to
stage a little disaster like this
318
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:04,242
to demonstrate the
importance of keeping your
319
00:17:04,266 --> 00:17:06,735
concentration at the
workplace, right, Al?
320
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:09,238
That's right, Tim.
321
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:13,275
We'll get to your molding, then.
322
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:14,443
Molding?
323
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,612
Yeah, the molding, Al.
324
00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:20,016
You know, when I'm molding,
sometimes cutting in a miter,
325
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,518
I get splinters at
the end of my wood.
326
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,353
What would you
do about that, Al?
327
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,956
Well, you wanna take your tape
and tape the front of the molding
328
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:29,791
before you start your miter.
329
00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:30,959
Thank you, Al.
330
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:34,852
No, thank you, Tim.
331
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:39,902
Hey, Al, do you suppose
they call this molding
332
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,904
because it's made out of stuff
333
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:44,362
that's been in the
refrigerator a little too long?
334
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:52,581
I don't think so, Tim.
335
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:55,518
Why don't we finish
that molding up
336
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,841
on the first part of this?
337
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:02,391
Ah-ah-ah!
338
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,660
Hey, don't do that to me!
339
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,929
What are you doing? Nothin'.
340
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:09,598
Nuh-uh. You're erasing
Mom's name from the chart.
341
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:10,632
I am not.
342
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:13,869
Are too. Why does it say "J..."?
343
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:17,139
Code red, code red. Run!
344
00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:18,941
Go, go.
345
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,076
(laughter)
346
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,111
You better keep running.
I got a garden hose.
347
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,812
(Wilson) Hi-ho, good neighbor.
348
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:26,215
Hey, Wilson. What are you up to?
349
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,884
Just painting a self-portrait.
350
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,608
Yeah, of who?
351
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:36,925
Well, Tim, I believe
that would be of me.
352
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,860
Yeah? Can I see
what you got so far?
353
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:40,551
Sure, neighbor.
354
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,454
Mm? Mm-mm?
355
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,271
I got a question for you. Mind?
356
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:53,309
Well, Tim, I would never
give you the brush-off.
357
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:56,912
Jill is trying to take
over my garage.
358
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:59,548
Mm... I see. A coup de garage.
359
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,283
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
360
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,552
She just doesn't
understand. It's my garage.
361
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:06,655
It's always been my garage.
It's always gonna be my garage.
362
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,124
It's my zone.
363
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,792
It'll never be her garage
because it's mine, mine, mine.
364
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,929
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
365
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:17,699
Well, Tim, men are
territorial by nature. Yeah.
366
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:21,570
When you describe the
garage as yours, yours, yours,
367
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:24,673
Jill's reaction is to protect
herself from feeling unwelcome.
368
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,975
Yeah, and I might have said
something to make her feel unwelcome.
369
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,310
Like what?
370
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,268
I told her to get out!
371
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:34,082
Well, Tim, that could
cause some friction.
372
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:35,351
Friction...
373
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:37,419
You have to understand, Tim...
374
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:40,256
life for women is connections,
375
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,925
a struggle to avoid isolation
and preserve intimacy.
376
00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:46,995
Intimacy. Yeah, bingo.
377
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:50,065
Intimacy. That's
what it's all about.
378
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:51,567
Wilson, you're always right.
379
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,035
Ah, ah, ah, Tim.
380
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:55,171
Always is as dangerous
a word as never.
381
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,938
No, no, no. This
makes perfect sense.
382
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:59,741
Jill put that potter's
wheel in the garage
383
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:02,211
to be near me, to
spend more time with me.
384
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,813
Thanks, Wilson. (opens door)
385
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,715
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
386
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:10,219
Listen, Jill, I think I
understand... Good.
387
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,288
You didn't let me
finish what I understand.
388
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:16,091
Doesn't matter. If you understand
something, that's enough for me.
389
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:20,028
I know why you put the
potter's wheel in the garage.
390
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:23,999
And why did I do that, Tim?
391
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:26,669
It's your struggle to isolation
392
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:28,804
to preserve friction.
393
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:31,674
What?
394
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:33,375
It's all about intimacy.
395
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,377
You just wanna spend
more time with me.
396
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:40,382
No, Tim. The reason I'm taking
pottery is so I can get away from you.
397
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:41,383
What?
398
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,185
I need some time alone.
399
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:45,354
This doesn't have
anything to do with intimacy?
400
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:47,423
No. I need some time and space
401
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:51,960
to do something that I
enjoy for myself, for me,
402
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:54,597
where I don't have to
think about you and the kids.
403
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,998
There's a fine how-do-you-do.
404
00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:58,166
Well...
405
00:20:58,190 --> 00:20:59,835
I always think about you.
406
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:03,606
Oh, really? Even when
you're watching football.
407
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,641
Especially when
I'm watching football.
408
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,444
I sit down and watch
football, I'm always thinking,
409
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,746
"God, if Jill were here,
410
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,250
she could get me another beer."
411
00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:19,154
Face it, Tim, we both need
time away from each other.
412
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:21,257
Then that's what
this is all about.
413
00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:26,128
Yeah. And if we have the
time away from each other,
414
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:30,165
then we can appreciate the
time that we do have together.
415
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:31,233
Oh.
416
00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:32,334
Like now.
417
00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:33,569
Huh?
418
00:21:33,593 --> 00:21:36,872
The kids are off at the
park playing commandos.
419
00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:39,541
I noticed that somebody erased
my name from the next hour
420
00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:42,244
on the garage timetable.
421
00:21:42,268 --> 00:21:43,679
It's just you and me.
422
00:21:43,703 --> 00:21:46,682
Got any ideas about
what we could be doing?
423
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:47,986
I'm getting one.
424
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:52,821
And what would that be?
425
00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:54,256
Work on the hot rod.
426
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:55,320
Oh...
427
00:22:01,587 --> 00:22:04,288
Oh, ho-ho.
428
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:11,039
You won't believe it, but
you were wrong, Wilson.
429
00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:13,041
Jill didn't want intimacy.
430
00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:14,910
Is that so?
431
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:17,012
And you'll never guess
what she really wanted.
432
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:19,915
A little more time to herself?
433
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:21,216
Huh?
434
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:24,286
You see, Tim, as
Kahlil Gibran said,
435
00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:27,623
"For the pillars of
the temple stand apart
436
00:22:27,647 --> 00:22:31,293
and the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other's shadow."
437
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:33,651
Oh, it's beautiful.
Oh, yeah, it is.
438
00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:38,967
I have no idea
what you just said.
439
00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:42,371
I just mean that occasionally it's
healthy for you and Jill to be apart.
440
00:22:42,395 --> 00:22:44,840
Why didn't you say
that in the first place?
441
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,809
It just came to me.
442
00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:50,746
Sometimes it's not good to
get me too early in the day, Tim.
443
00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:52,050
Heh-heh-heh.
443
00:22:53,305 --> 00:23:53,215
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