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All this week, Al and I have done
our Tool Time salute to painting.
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And I got to thinking about
something a little disjointed.
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Women have been telling me
they think men are insensitive,
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that we don't listen, and, boy, that
really irks me. How about you, Al?
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Well, Tim...
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That's exactly my point, Al.
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You know, men are
sensitive to other things.
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For instance,
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when a woman sees a hot
rod, what does she see? A car.
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When a man sees a hot rod,
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he sees all the love and care it
took to make the details of the hot rod.
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To illustrate my point, I've
invited a good friend of mine,
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Fred Axelby from Axelby Street
Rods, down here on the show.
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He's actually the one that motivated
me to build my own hot rod. Ar-ar-ar.
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Let's get him out here with
a big Tool Time welcome.
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Lisa, bring him on out.
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Big hand. Come on.
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There you go, Tim.
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Thank you, Lisa. Fred,
good to have you here.
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00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,773
Great to be here,
Tim. Good deal.
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What are we gonna
do on the next show?
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00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,445
Tim, first, we're going to apply
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00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:19,082
120 coats of
hand-rubbed lacquer.
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Do you suppose a fender has
120 coats because it's cold? Ha.
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I really doubt it, Tim.
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It sounds like a
lot of work, though.
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It is, Tim, but it's worth it
if you're a real detail man.
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Details. See, it's
exactly my point.
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00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,538
Well, there is one detail, Tim.
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00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,873
Al, we don't have any
more time for details.
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00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:46,498
Join me next time when
we put this fender back...
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We just put that
primer on backstage.
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Was that the detail, Al?
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Yes, it was, Tim.
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Well, anyway, thanks
for being with us.
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I'm Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor
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hoping all your lacquer
finishes are glossy.
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See ya next time. Ar-ar-ar.
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00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,961
Ar-ar-ar.
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00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:08,265
Tim, a little thinner'll
take that right off.
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Great. Good night, Lisa.
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00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,469
Listen, I got some bad
news. Murray called.
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00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,837
He can't make the
poker game tonight.
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00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:18,074
Oh, no. We can't
play with three men.
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00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:20,109
Well, maybe we
should call it off.
47
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,744
No, we're not calling it off.
48
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:25,248
I don't care if I have to
drag some idiot off the street.
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00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:26,683
Excuse me, Tim.
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00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:30,987
Al, hey, we need a fourth
player for our poker game tonight.
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00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,989
You wanna join us?
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00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,692
Oh, I haven't played
in about ten years.
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00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,516
Perfect. Perfect.
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00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:41,731
Why don't you come
over about 7:30, then?
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00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,500
OK. Who's playing?
56
00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:46,002
Be Fred, myself, you and
Charlie, my brother-in-law.
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I think you've met him.
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Oh, just the guys, huh? You bet.
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OK, well, what should I wear?
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Well, Al, I can't speak
for Fred or Charlie,
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00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:02,819
but I'd like to see you in
something simple yet revealing.
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00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:05,488
What you're say
is, it doesn't matter.
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00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:07,657
That's what I'm saying, unless
you get an evening dress...
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00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:10,115
I'll see you 7:30. OK, buddy.
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00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:14,864
Oh, that smells.
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Do we have to eat it?
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00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:19,102
No, honey, this isn't food.
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I'm gonna give myself a
facial tonight before I go to bed.
69
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,140
Will you stir this for me? Hi.
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00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,843
Hi. I got everything
I need. Chips, soda.
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00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:30,213
All ready for that poker
game. Whoa-ho-ho-ho.
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00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:31,715
Looks like your
mom made some dip.
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Don't eat that!
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00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,740
I know, it's for the company.
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Is that your mother's recipe?
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No, it's not a dip. It's
an organic face mask.
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00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,907
(pretends to vomit)
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00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:01,311
See, what I do is I put this in
the refrigerator for a little while,
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00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,980
and then, when I put it on my
face, it makes it all pretty and tight.
80
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,649
It looks just like this...
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00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:08,652
Hi, everybody. I'm so beautiful.
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00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:12,589
Hey, Mom, can Brad
and I stay home tonight?
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No. It's poker night.
Men only, no children.
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00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,894
But, Dad, Mom and Aunt Robin
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00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:20,430
want to take us to
an arts-and-crafts fair.
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00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,599
Great. It's a good thing to do.
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00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:26,235
Men's handiwork. Craftsmen.
Men. Wood. You'll love it.
88
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Oh, man.
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00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:30,173
Tim, if the boys don't wanna go,
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00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:32,175
maybe we should
all just stay home.
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00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,577
No. When you sister gets
here, she goes, Charlie stays.
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00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:36,846
It's a man's night tonight.
93
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:37,847
Man's night.
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00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:38,948
Yeah, man's night...
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00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:42,084
Cigars, smoke,
scratching parts of you,
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00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:46,122
burping, body noises
without any kind of apology.
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00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:49,492
(girlish voice) "Oh,
excuse me. I'm sorry."
98
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:53,430
How is that different
from any other night?
99
00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:56,087
Well, there'll be other
men doing it with me.
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00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,101
(doorbell rings)
101
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:02,038
I'll get it. Charlie, open
your wallet right now,
102
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,873
'cause I got the...
103
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,542
Hi, Robin. Where's Charlie?
104
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,910
Last time I saw my husband,
105
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he was on the corner
of Fulton and Fourth.
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Why?
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He said he'd rather
walk than let me drive,
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so I took off with him.
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We were supposed
to play poker tonight.
110
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Tim, I think she's upset.
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00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:23,426
How can you think about poker
when my marriage is falling apart?
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I figure if it's falling apart,
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I better win something from
Charlie before the alimony starts.
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Tim, you are an
insensitive cretin.
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You're right. Dip?
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Tim!
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(pounding on door) Robin! Robin!
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Are you nuts?
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Charlie. Hey, Tim.
120
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:49,719
I told you you can drive here.
Why did you leave me there?
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I didn't like your attitude.
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Charlie, what happened?
123
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I was driving over here, and
she started nagging on me.
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"Let me drive. Let me drive."
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So I pull over, I get out of
the car so she can scoot over,
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00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:03,232
and she took off on me.
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00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,268
(whistles) Buddy,
a little advice.
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00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:08,505
When you're arguing in the
car, don't get out. Ha-ha-ha.
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For your information,
I wasn't nagging!
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Oh... what do you call that
screaming in my ear for 14 blocks, Rob?
131
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:19,482
Oh, God, it's started.
They'll be at this for hours.
132
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:21,618
Get your sister out of the
house so we can play cards.
133
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:24,086
Tim, she's my
sister. I gotta help her.
134
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,056
Take her to that craft fair, knit a
rug, blow some glass, I don't care,
135
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,292
but get her out of the house.
136
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:33,362
We'll get them out as soon
as they calm down, OK?
137
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,998
Dad, Aunt Robin locked
herself in our bathroom.
138
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:38,301
Does that mean we're not gonna
go to the arts-and-crafts fair?
139
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,336
You're going to the
arts-and-crafts fair
140
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,539
as soon as your Aunt
Robin is ready to go.
141
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:44,307
Robin, gimme those keys!
142
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,008
No.
143
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:47,477
I want them now.
144
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:50,947
OK, fine, you want your keys...
145
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,149
There are your keys.
146
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,618
Aunt Robin, are we still
going to the arts-and-crafts fair?
147
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,921
No, honey, I'm not
going anywhere.
148
00:07:57,945 --> 00:08:00,457
(both) Yeah, we're
not going to the fair!
149
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:01,724
Great.
150
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:04,861
I can't believe she threw
my keys into the bushes.
151
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:07,831
Yeah, that must've been 30 feet.
152
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:10,335
She always had a real good arm.
153
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:16,105
Maybe I ought to find my
keys and get out of here.
154
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,708
No. The guys' poker game is the
last thing you got left in your life.
155
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,743
Don't give up everything to her.
156
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,979
I've only been married 23 days,
157
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,081
and every day, it's been the
same thing... nag, nag, nag.
158
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:28,284
"Pick up your socks, pick up your
underwear, pick up your dishes."
159
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:31,488
Charlie, pick up your keys.
160
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,089
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
161
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,224
Let me tell you
something about women.
162
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,293
Women are a product
of their mothers
163
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,863
and their mothers before that
and their mothers before that.
164
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:43,165
This nagging is a genetic thing.
It goes way back, you know?
165
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,301
Maybe the caveman days.
166
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:48,471
The Serengeti's quiet, you can hear
a pin drop, but out of a cave hole...
167
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:52,408
(feminine voice) Hey, Grog,
get your hairy butt out of that bed.
168
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:56,813
Did you drag this
wildebeest across this floor?
169
00:08:56,837 --> 00:09:00,349
I been down on my
knuckles and knees all day!
170
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,151
I washed your
loincloth this morning.
171
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:05,010
Use some leaves, will ya?
172
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,526
(normal voice) Why do you
think men invented the wheel?
173
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:12,884
So we could leave
home now and then.
174
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,865
It's crazy. All right, my deal.
175
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,902
Seven-card stud. Everybody ante.
176
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:21,437
Why do they call it stud?
177
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,673
I think it's because
you're here, Al.
178
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:25,174
(laughter)
179
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,943
Charlie, you should've seen
180
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,579
this '40s Chevy project
I was working on.
181
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,648
Oh, that pick-up
down at your shop.
182
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:34,817
It's lime green, metal flake,
about a mile-deep paint job.
183
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,553
This thing is unbelievable.
184
00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:37,720
454... 454...
185
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,322
Tunnel ram, dual
quads, polished heads...
186
00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:42,725
350 turbo trans,
ten-inch torque converter.
187
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,428
I mean, a sweet piece of metal.
188
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:49,265
This it right here... men
talking, cigar smoke, cars.
189
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:52,035
Ar-ar-ar-ar!
190
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:54,704
Don't mind me.
I'm getting a soda.
191
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,906
You're not down here to get
a soda. You're down here...
192
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,976
Charlie, please. Robin, this is
the third soda in ten minutes.
193
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,445
Jill and I are thirsty.
Do you have any chips?
194
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:04,547
Yeah. There you
go. Want some dip?
195
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,515
Ha-ha-ha.
196
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:09,018
Chips'll be fine.
197
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,887
(Tim flicks the cards)
198
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:14,657
Charlie, she's gonna keep interrupting
the game if you don't apologize.
199
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:18,260
Hey, never apologize.
200
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,396
It's admitting you're wrong.
201
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,899
I have never once
apologized to any woman.
202
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:25,935
Freddie, how many times
you been married? Three.
203
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,171
Why do you suppose that is?
204
00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:31,429
I can't find a woman
who understands me.
205
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,312
Let me jump in here, if I could.
206
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,748
Charlie, Jill and I have
been married 12 years.
207
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:41,283
Good marriage for one reason.
208
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:45,076
Every day, I get up, look her in
the eyes and say, "Jill, I'm sorry."
209
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:50,693
For what?
210
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:53,395
Everything. Just being a
man, having an Adam's apple,
211
00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:55,031
just breathing, that's it.
212
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,500
Why should I apologize?
She's the one who drove off.
213
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,936
It doesn't matter
who's at fault here.
214
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,294
If you don't apologize,
we're not gonna play cards.
215
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,677
Robin? What?
216
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:10,647
Come on down here. Charlie
wants to say something to you.
217
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:15,685
Now, when you apologize to a
woman, just look at the floor and nod.
218
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:18,587
All right, all right.
219
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:23,459
You know, the apology might be
more effective if you really meant it.
220
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,361
Ha-ha.
221
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:29,331
Guess which one of us
at this table's not married.
222
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,355
Boom.
223
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,436
You wanted to say something?
224
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:52,188
I'm... sorry.
225
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,589
Good apology.
226
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,958
Very good.
227
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:58,627
Honey, I shouldn't
have driven off.
228
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:00,930
Oh, that's OK.
229
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:04,200
So, from now on, when I
want to drive the car, I can?
230
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,858
Hey, I said I was
sorry, not stupid.
231
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,731
Oh, no!
232
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,380
Quarter to you.
233
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,882
(mutters)
234
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,718
All right.
235
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:23,186
I fold.
236
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:26,756
Really? You folded
every hand tonight, Al.
237
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,479
I prefer to be cautious.
238
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:34,897
There's a reason
they call it gambling, Al.
239
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,099
I'll call.
240
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:38,868
OK. Two pair. Queens and eights.
241
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:41,237
Man, I haven't had a
decent hand all night.
242
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:46,142
Well, I haven't seen Robin for
a while. Maybe she's OK now.
243
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:48,911
Mm-mmm, no, she's not OK.
244
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,780
Hey, I know I'm a bit of a slob,
245
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,782
but she used to think it was
cute before we were married,
246
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,683
and now I can't
get her off my back.
247
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,753
You want her off your back?
248
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,956
Do something
unexpected, like the laundry,
249
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,825
but make sure she
knows you're doing it.
250
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:04,160
"Honey, where's
the fabric softener?
251
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,629
I'm doing the laundry!"
252
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,798
And then when you
start mumbling, like,
253
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,667
"I can't seem to get the whites
as clean as you get 'em, hon."
254
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:14,603
They love that stuff.
255
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,906
Tim, the trouble
with your whites
256
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,363
may be you're not presoaking.
257
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:26,048
Thank you, Al.
258
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:28,818
Let's ante up.
259
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:31,487
All right.
260
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:34,490
You know, I been
married 12 years,
261
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:38,928
and the reason I have a good marriage
is because of one word... compromise.
262
00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:41,530
Who does all the compromising
in a relationship? Men.
263
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,733
It's always 60/40. Now
let's play some cards.
264
00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:47,369
Three kings. Is that good?
265
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:48,404
I fold. Me, too.
266
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:49,593
I fold.
267
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,444
I like everything
to be 5-0, 5-0.
268
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:58,803
I like a he to be a he
and a she to be a she.
269
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:04,720
Robbie, can I give you
just a little piece of advice?
270
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:05,822
Oh, no.
271
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:08,224
Well, you're gonna
hear it, anyway.
272
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,358
(turns off TV)
273
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,360
Marriage is about one
thing... compromise
274
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,729
and guess who gets to
do most of that. We do.
275
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:16,299
It's 70/30.
276
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:19,735
Unless you count child birth.
Then it's 97/3. Yeah, I know.
277
00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:22,305
Listen, you need to learn
to let some things go,
278
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,874
because you know you make
everything such a big deal.
279
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:28,010
Just eliminate the things
that drive you the craziest.
280
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,512
That would be Charlie.
281
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,849
He is such a slob, Jill.
282
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:35,617
He leaves his
clothes on the floors,
283
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,286
wet towels on the bed.
284
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,856
I wish he was more like Tim.
285
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,190
Ahh...
286
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,459
At least Tim helps you
out around the house.
287
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:46,162
Of course he
does. I trained him.
288
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:49,565
Without me, he'd still
be in the backyard,
289
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,567
eating out of a trough.
290
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:54,337
How did you train him?
291
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:58,040
Well, first, I got
rid of the trough.
292
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,976
Come on, what did you do?
293
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,112
I just used positive
reinforcement.
294
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,882
You remember that puppy
that Dad brought home
295
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,984
that we had so much
trouble housebreaking?
296
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,540
Puddles? Yeah.
297
00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:14,523
I did the same stuff with
Tim that we did with Puddles.
298
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:18,460
This is good. You taught
him to roll over and play dead?
299
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:21,152
No. Tim already
knew how to do that.
300
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:26,135
All right, a quarter
to you. I'm in.
301
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:28,437
I'm in. Me, too.
302
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:29,961
(all) Al folds.
303
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,042
I'm in.
304
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:37,947
You don't say. Welcome to
the game. It's about damn time.
305
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:41,750
How much is the
most you can raise?
306
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:46,777
Heh. There's a $3 limit,
Daddy Warbucks, but...
307
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:51,394
OK, I raise that.
308
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:52,962
You must have
something good. I'm out.
309
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:55,164
I'm out. You better
have something good.
310
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:57,599
I'm sticking. What
do you have, Al?
311
00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:01,926
A flush. All black
cards. Read 'em and cry!
312
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,313
Ahem. I hate to
burst your bubble, Al,
313
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:13,115
but a flush is
all the same suit,
314
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,850
clubs, diamonds...
315
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:16,986
all the same something.
316
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:19,243
Oh. Then I fold.
317
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:25,727
Ante up. Let's play.
318
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:27,729
Jill and I have been talking,
319
00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:33,069
and I realize your
car means a lot to you,
320
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:35,871
and I think we
should discuss it.
321
00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,206
In a minute, Rob.
322
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:39,508
No, we need to talk now.
323
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:42,111
Unbelievable. You
wait till I get three aces.
324
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,179
I fold.
325
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:44,613
I fold. I fold.
326
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,082
Oh, oh...
327
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:48,084
Thanks a lot, Rob. You
blew the whole hand.
328
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:51,153
I guess I'm the only one
worried about this relationship.
329
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:54,823
Come on, I'm not worried
about the relationship.
330
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,892
I thought the best thing
about being married
331
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,695
was knowing we're always
gonna be there to work it out.
332
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,030
You mean that?
333
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:02,431
Yes.
334
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,933
You're not mad
about the three aces?
335
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:08,526
No, but I'm crazy
about The Four Tops.
336
00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,975
I missed you, cupcake.
337
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,899
I missed you, too, pookie.
338
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,982
Now we got that over with,
can we play cards now, Chuck?
339
00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:22,151
You wanna go home? Let's go.
340
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:24,686
Charlie, where you going?
We're playing cards here.
341
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:25,988
See you next month, Tim.
342
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,189
Good night,
Charlie. Bye, Charlie.
343
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,091
We can't play with
three guys. Charlie!
344
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:30,792
Maybe Jill would
like to join us.
345
00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:31,827
No, she wouldn't.
346
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,496
Oh, thanks, Al. I love poker.
347
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,532
You can't sit down at this table unless
you can bench-press 150 pounds.
348
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,533
Oh...
349
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,057
Al, sit down.
350
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:45,974
Come on, Tim, I can play poker.
351
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:49,178
You want Chicago,
High-Low, Anaconda, what?
352
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:50,612
What's Anaconda?
353
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,015
It's a snake, Al.
Shut up for a minute.
354
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:54,683
You can't play at this table
355
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:57,453
unless you know the compression
ratio of a 327 Chevy engine.
356
00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:59,988
Boy, you are really
tough on your wife.
357
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:03,526
Oh, talk about it, Mr. Three
Alimony Payment Man.
358
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,227
I'm very good to my wife.
359
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:06,462
Then you should let her play.
360
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:07,896
Yeah, that's right.
361
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,631
OK, great. Let's
lift up the felt,
362
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,800
put down some doilies,
get the sewing machine out.
363
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:14,603
This was supposed to be
men playing poker tonight.
364
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:17,005
You can't play poker
with three people.
365
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,075
How about Canasta?
366
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:20,376
Now you're talkin'.
367
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,000
Arr!
368
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,987
Wilson, could I
ask you a question?
369
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:34,178
I believe you just did, Tim.
370
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:39,295
Heard a lot of noise
371
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,464
coming from your house tonight.
372
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:45,701
Yeah, it's Jill's sister and her husband.
Newlyweds. They're always fighting.
373
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:49,037
(snickers) Well, I seem to
remember a couple of newlyweds
374
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:51,474
that moved in next door to me
375
00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:53,875
that I thought would
never stop fighting.
376
00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:56,812
Jill and I. Boy, is that odd.
377
00:18:56,836 --> 00:19:02,050
We been married 12 years, and I still get
so mad at her, just 'cause she's a woman.
378
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:04,686
Well, so what is your question?
379
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:06,855
How do women and
men even stay together?
380
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:09,847
It has to do with
barb wire, Tim.
381
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:13,817
Uhh?
382
00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:19,935
As a boy, I used to spend
summers at my Uncle Leonard's farm.
383
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:23,539
At the edge of his property,
he had a huge oak tree.
384
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:26,708
Running through the middle of that
tree was an old barbed-wire fence.
385
00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:28,710
It went right through the tree?
386
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:31,180
Right through the
middle of the tree.
387
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:34,617
When a tree is planted close to
a fence, it has nowhere to grow.
388
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:37,019
As it expands and grows bigger,
389
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:40,322
it extends over the fence
and slowly envelops the wire.
390
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:44,160
The two separate entities
gradually become one.
391
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:48,631
Huh. Am I the tree
or the barbed wire?
392
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:50,766
Well, I don't think
you're the tree, Tim.
393
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:51,800
Ha-ha-ha.
394
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,369
Aw, the point is,
395
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:56,004
the two were joined
without destroying the tree
396
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:59,074
or losing the
integrity of the fence.
397
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:03,812
It's almost as if
they... belong together.
398
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:07,516
Like Jill and me.
399
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,219
Oh...
400
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,788
Well, I don't know, Tim,
401
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:15,424
but it looks like
everything in the universe
402
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:17,426
is in harmony tonight.
403
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,483
Not quite yet, Wilson.
404
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:23,532
Hi.
405
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,922
Hi.
406
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:30,606
I'm sorry your poker night
turned out to be a bust.
407
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:33,242
Well, it certainly
wasn't your fault,
408
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:36,412
and I do apologize
for being so rough.
409
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:39,181
It's just that sometimes
I don't know where
410
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:42,718
my fence ends and
your tree begins.
411
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,786
Huh?
412
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,856
I just wanted one night of
playing poker with the guys.
413
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,692
With the guys.
414
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:50,693
That was it.
415
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:54,162
Well, I think I can
give that to you.
416
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:57,855
Just call me Murray.
417
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:04,840
So how about those Pistons?
Think they'll win the series?
418
00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,709
You're pathetic.
419
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:09,778
What's the game? Depends
on what we're playing.
420
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,447
High card.
421
00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:13,549
What are the stakes?
422
00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:15,973
Winner has to kiss the loser.
423
00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:19,176
Murray...
424
00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:24,860
I had no idea.
425
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:26,362
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
426
00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:28,196
I'm in.
427
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:30,421
All right. Oh...
428
00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:34,236
Come here, Murray.
429
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:37,194
Get rid of that cigar.
430
00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:45,080
Before we go, let's take
one last look at this fender.
431
00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:47,583
Boy, that hard
work paid off, Al.
432
00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:50,619
We applied 120 coats
of lacquer. Mm-mm-mm.
433
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,821
We, Tim? Well, you did
the first layer of lacquer.
434
00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:55,391
I did the next 119.
435
00:21:55,415 --> 00:22:01,363
Well, like I said, between
us, we applied 120 coats.
436
00:22:01,387 --> 00:22:05,066
You know, this fender
reminds me of a good marriage.
437
00:22:05,090 --> 00:22:09,772
Stick with me on this one. All you see
on the outside is a shiny lacquer finish.
438
00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:12,675
You don't know about the hard work
that went into it, like a good marriage.
439
00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:14,943
You see a good
marriage on the outside,
440
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:17,313
but don't know about the
hard work that went into it.
441
00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:19,581
The enamel finish
and the marriage,
442
00:22:19,605 --> 00:22:22,250
both need hard work and dedication
to make them come out right.
443
00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:24,286
The only difference
is... ha-ha-ha...
444
00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:27,323
you want your mother-in-law
to steer clear of your marriage,
445
00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:30,859
but right in front of your
fender. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
446
00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:34,095
Just kidding, Donna. Ha-ha.
447
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,932
That's it for me, Tim "The Tool
Man" Taylor, with my buddy Al,
448
00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:39,757
saying so long, see
you next time. Ar-ar-ar.
449
00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:52,080
Why are men so loud?
450
00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:54,584
I think the testosterone
affects their hearing.
451
00:22:58,110 --> 00:23:00,222
I just attached my
TV to my stereo.
452
00:23:00,246 --> 00:23:02,991
80 watts a channel,
and I still can't listen to it.
453
00:23:03,015 --> 00:23:05,861
The wife's always going,
"Turn it down, turn it down."
454
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:07,996
Got the remote. "Wish I
could turn you down that easy."
455
00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:10,298
What is it with women
and loud music?
456
00:23:10,322 --> 00:23:12,556
I think it's the estrogen.
456
00:23:13,305 --> 00:24:13,357
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