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00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:02,912
Let me tell you about
next week's show.
2
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:06,350
My little mess?
3
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:09,052
Well, Al, I think we both learned
an important lesson today.
4
00:00:09,076 --> 00:00:12,289
Never slam the
casement window shut
5
00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:15,247
until your coworker's
completely removed his head.
6
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:19,829
Anyway, when
you work like a man,
7
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,099
it's also important
to learn to...
8
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,134
play like a man.
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00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:26,236
Because, after all,
all work and no play
10
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,860
(whispering) makes
you just like Al.
11
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,310
Well, this weekend there'll
be plenty of men playing
12
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:36,013
at the Detroit Area
Scottish Highland Games.
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00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,780
And we've invited a gentleman
down here to Tool Time
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00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:38,915
to tell us all about it.
15
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,540
Please welcome
Mr. Agnes McCloud.
16
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:51,628
Welcome to the show, Agnes.
That's "Angus," not "Agnes."
17
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:54,431
Uh, the skirt threw
me off a little bit.
18
00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:57,800
Actually, Tim, lots of very
masculine men wear skirts.
19
00:00:57,824 --> 00:01:00,264
I bet they all find
you very attractive, Al.
20
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:04,207
I should point out,
Timmy, it's not a skirt.
21
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,608
It's a Scottish kilt.
22
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,344
See there? It's
a kilt, not a skirt.
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00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,679
And this weekend, Tim
and I will be participating
24
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:13,116
in the Highland games to
promote Project Literacy.
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00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:16,119
What a time we'll have.
There'll be jumping, drumming,
26
00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:18,588
sheep dog demonstrations,
and the caber toss.
27
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:21,058
(Scottish accent)
The caber toss? Aye!
28
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It's part of the
Scottish track and field.
29
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:25,728
You grab a big log,
ya hold it like this,
30
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:29,032
ya get a running start,
and throw it end over end,
31
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:31,834
so that it lands
in a straight line.
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00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:35,172
Another fine sport from the
people who brought you golf.
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00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:38,075
It takes a lot of skill and
strength to toss a caber.
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00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,342
All right, Angus,
I'm sure it does.
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00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:40,743
You just take a
stick and toss it.
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00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:43,012
I'd bet our viewers would
love to see you toss one.
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00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,304
Al, let's not get...
38
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:49,586
OK, OK, OK, OK. I
accept the challenge.
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00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,521
Why not? I work with Al.
40
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:55,024
I feel like I've been
carrying deadwood for years.
41
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,649
See you next time
on Tool Time, laddies.
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00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:05,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
43
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,560
What do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
44
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:16,306
Hey, Mom, did you
get the notebooks?
45
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:19,809
Oh, yeah, well, they didn't
have any Terminator left.
46
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:23,268
But they did have these
two blank ones and this one.
47
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:32,088
Mom, this one has a
puppy and a rainbow on it.
48
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:34,724
It was either that or a
ballerina and a pussycat.
49
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,793
Why don't you just pin a
note to my back that says,
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00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:39,084
"Kick me and take
my lunch money"?
51
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,399
I can't take this to school.
52
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,534
Yes, you can. You
can be creative.
53
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,236
You can... you can...
54
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,705
draw a tank here at
the end of the rainbow.
55
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,139
And, like, some fighter planes
56
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,731
dropping bombs
on the little puppy.
57
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,868
Hi, everybody. (boys) Hi, Dad.
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00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,016
Well, I got 'em.
59
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,152
The hardest tickets in the
city to get - front row seats.
60
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,255
You got tickets to
Madame Butterfly?
61
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:08,813
Uh... I tried, honey, but
they were all sold out.
62
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,863
I got the next best thing.
Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!
63
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:19,336
Truckenstein versus
Fordzilla at the Silver Dome!
64
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,404
The biggest monster
truck rally in Detroit history.
65
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:24,708
Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!
66
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:28,545
What will I wear? I didn't
get you a ticket, honey.
67
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:33,838
House to myself on
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!
68
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:40,156
Evidently, your mom doesn't
appreciate the finer things in life.
69
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,925
Car exhaust noises,
mud in our faces, fumes.
70
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,595
(grunts)
71
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:49,098
They put a new Hemie on
Truckenstein. They sure did.
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00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,735
God, they got a 426 Hemie
in that thing, don't they?
73
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:53,870
One of those big
671 blowers on there.
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00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:57,274
A jimmy sitting on top of two
bug holly 750 double pumpers.
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00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:59,376
(grunting) Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
76
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,378
Just like the carb we're
putting on the hot rod.
77
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:03,246
Yeah, when are we
gonna fit the exhaust?
78
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:04,514
We could start it
now, if you want.
79
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,516
Cool. Do I get to
use the blowtorch?
80
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,117
Yeah, right. And
then we wait outside
81
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,020
for the Fire
Department to show up.
82
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:14,346
Well, it's not like they
haven't been here before.
83
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,527
(phone rings)
84
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,596
I'll get it! I bet
it's his girlfriend.
85
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,932
(high-pitched) "Oh,
Jennifer!" Hello.
86
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:25,268
Well, hello, Mrs. Blackburn.
87
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,470
Whoa. Brad's principal.
88
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:31,174
Really? Brad told you
that we were in France?
89
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,310
Busted.
90
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:36,479
In France? Come here.
91
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,437
Oh...
92
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,073
Oh... I am so sorry.
93
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:46,756
Yes, yes, we
will take care of it.
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00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,591
Yeah, bye.
95
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,549
France?
96
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,319
Whoa, Mom can't even talk.
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00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,835
It must be bad. Come
on, out. You guys get out.
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00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,637
Now, come on. It's
not for you. Go on.
99
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:04,006
Aw, man! We never get
to see the good stuff. Yeah.
100
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,109
All right, what's up? You
wanna tell your dad what you did?
101
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:08,778
It wasn't that big of a deal.
102
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,613
I just had a little
fun in the lunch line.
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00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:11,781
A little fun.
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00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,317
He took a dissected
frog from biology class,
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00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:15,752
placed it on a lettuce leaf
106
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:19,556
and hid it under
a Jell-O square.
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00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:22,225
I was just trying to
gross out some kids,
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00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:24,594
but Mrs. Blackburn cut in line.
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00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,929
And she ate it? Just part of it.
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00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:31,122
Oh-ho-ho! Oh, man! Oh!
111
00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:35,093
Why'd you do that?
112
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:39,208
George Walker dared me.
113
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,177
He bet I wouldn't
have the guts to do it.
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00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,479
He lost big.
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00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:45,214
Yeah, he lost big. And you won.
116
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:49,252
Tim, what do we have
for our winner here?
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00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:51,153
Well, Jill, our
little frog lover
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00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:52,989
will come jumping
home right after school,
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00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,724
'cause he's grounded
for the whole weekend.
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00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:58,428
Oh, man! And that means
no monster truck rally.
121
00:06:58,452 --> 00:06:59,796
Dad! That's Sunday.
122
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,965
Uh, sit there. We're
gonna talk about this.
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00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,029
Talk about what,
Tim? Garage, come on.
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00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:10,306
Thanks for making
me look bad. What?
125
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,041
"Your mother and
I need to talk"?
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00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:14,544
That means, "My pal,
the greatest dad on Earth,
127
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:16,212
"wants me to go
to the truck rally,
128
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:19,270
"but Ilsa, the wicked
she-mother, doesn't."
129
00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:22,752
You do this to me all the time!
130
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,043
Oh, come on, Ilsa.
131
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:29,592
Brad has been really
looking forward to this.
132
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,028
Fordzilla is coming
out of retirement.
133
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:35,331
Oh. So it's a sentimental thing.
134
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:36,900
Exactly. Tim, come on,
135
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:39,736
our son took a dissected frog
136
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,305
and placed it on a lettuce leaf.
137
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:43,873
It's not funny. This
is really serious.
138
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:45,041
The principal ate it.
139
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,499
Well, it's a step up
from those fish sticks.
140
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,681
Come on, it's a prank.
He pulled a prank.
141
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:55,618
You did this kind of stuff.
I most certainly did not.
142
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,454
Who was it that
put the rice pudding
143
00:07:57,478 --> 00:08:00,189
in Helen Weiss' training bra?
144
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,573
They never proved that was me.
145
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,328
You get my point.
We pulled pranks.
146
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,986
This is a prank. How
tough can we be on him?
147
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,801
OK, look, here's the deal.
148
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,003
He goes to the
truck rally. Mm-hmm.
149
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,272
But he has to apologize
to Mrs. Blackburn,
150
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,974
and he's still grounded
for the rest of the weekend.
151
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,643
Very good, very good.
152
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,312
And I'll tell him he's treading
on thin ice with me anyway.
153
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,981
And it's very
inappropriate behavior
154
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:28,184
to put dissected
frog parts on lettuce,
155
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,954
unless you have tarter sauce.
156
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:33,389
Or a lemon wedge. Perfect.
157
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,346
(doorbell rings)
158
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,866
Brad, what are you doing? You're
supposed to be upstairs studying!
159
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,501
Mom, this is Officer Kerry.
160
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:47,470
Um, hi. I'm Mrs.
Taylor. Will you come in?
161
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:49,906
Ma'am. Um, Tim
Taylor, Brad's father.
162
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,407
What's the problem? Sir.
163
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:53,342
Your son was with
some older boys,
164
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,578
throwing bricks at a greenhouse.
165
00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:57,981
They got away, but he was
the only one we could catch.
166
00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,049
Was there anybody hurt? Oh, no.
167
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,051
The place has been
abandoned for quite some time,
168
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,521
so I really don't think anyone
will be pressing any charges.
169
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:06,756
Are you gonna cuff
him? Is Brad going to jail?
170
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:10,159
Upstairs! It's bedtime, now!
171
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:13,262
Well, he's all yours.
172
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,865
Listen, I don't want to see
you causing any more trouble,
173
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,967
you understand?
174
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,269
Good night, folks. Good night.
175
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:21,793
Thank you. You're welcome.
176
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,076
Plant your butt on that sofa and
don't even think about moving.
177
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,811
You are grounded.
You're so grounded.
178
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:29,946
Who are these other
kids you were with
179
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,703
that obviously run
faster than you?
180
00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:36,619
Well, Brad, come
on, answer him. Sit up.
181
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,922
Just some friends. All right,
now. Are these the same friends
182
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:41,123
that dared you to put
the frog in the salad?
183
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:44,527
It was Jell-O. Don't get smart!
184
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,963
First you sneak out
while you are grounded,
185
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:49,566
now you're breaking
windows. What is going on?
186
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:52,569
I wasn't trying to break them.
187
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:55,504
What, did you miss
science class or something?
188
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:58,362
You threw a brick at a
window, you expect it to stick?
189
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:02,879
I was trying to throw
it over the greenhouse.
190
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,582
Ohh, he was throwing
it over. Well, that's great.
191
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:06,849
You are beyond grounded.
192
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:09,118
No TV, no seeing your
friends, no talking on the phone.
193
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,853
Oh, man. No monster truck rally.
194
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:12,989
That's not fair! What do
you mean, "That's not fair"?
195
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,691
I stick up for you so you can
go. What do you end up doing?
196
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:18,360
Coming home with a cop.
I'm going to the truck rally.
197
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:21,698
You're going to bed. You
can't tell me what to do.
198
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:24,033
Yes, I can tell you what
to do - that's my job.
199
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,202
Now, go on upstairs.
200
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,104
And you can forget about
those Fordzilla tickets.
201
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,039
I'm giving them
to somebody else.
202
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,296
Can I bring Billy? Aw, shut up!
203
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:52,829
Whoa, baby! You look great!
204
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:56,465
You wouldn't be just
teasing a gal, would you?
205
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,802
No, I'm serious.
This is real sexy.
206
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,938
It is? Yeah.
207
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:05,697
You got the legs for it. I
just wish it was shorter.
208
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,534
(both) The kilt!
209
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:15,484
You know, I've gotta
thank you. What for?
210
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:19,711
Because now you're the
evil son, and I'm the good son.
211
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:25,050
No, you're the dorky son.
212
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,531
OK...
213
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:30,499
Let's just say this ball
214
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:33,235
"accidentally" shot
out of my hands
215
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:36,939
and broke Wilson's window.
216
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:39,030
Who do you think
they'll believe did it?
217
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,913
The evil son.
218
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,347
They would not.
219
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:49,385
Well, hey, I'm not the
one with a criminal record.
220
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:54,190
Who got brought
home by a woman cop.
221
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,926
Hey, what's wrong, Brad?
Can't you run faster than a girl?
222
00:11:56,950 --> 00:12:00,396
Hey, hey, hey! Cut it out!
223
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,931
Hey, cut it! Stop it!
Hey, Brad, get up.
224
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,933
You got work to do. Come on!
225
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,289
Hey, Mom, where's Dad?
226
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,344
Real funny, wise guy.
227
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,479
You feel like doing some work?
You out here bothering him.
228
00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:18,981
Why don't you go get some
trash bags, help us out?
229
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:23,007
Oh, actually, I think I'll
just go redo my homework.
230
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,884
You're doing a
real good job, son.
231
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,367
Hey, pretty cool, huh?
232
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:40,436
If I had patent leather shoes
on, I could look up my own skirt.
233
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,705
Whee! Whee!
234
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:44,963
Ooh! Ooh... ooh...
235
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,245
Tell you what, when I
get home from the games,
236
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,714
we'll go put the exhaust system
on the hot rod. How about that?
237
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:54,683
I don't want to work
on the stinking hot rod.
238
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,286
You lied to me. You said I
could go to the truck rally.
239
00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,189
Does sneaking out and breaking
windows ring a bell to you?
240
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:02,892
Why don't you just go...
What did you just say to me?
241
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,461
Nothing. You just got
two more days, pal.
242
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,230
Fine, pal. You
get smart like that,
243
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:09,888
I'll give you
another week! Ouch!
244
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:16,739
Hidy-ho, plaid neighbor.
245
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:18,841
Sorry about that, Wilson.
246
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:21,310
I see you're ready
for the old caber toss.
247
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,700
Ah.
248
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,883
You got a minute?
Aye, wee laddie.
249
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,318
Well, you see, Brad and I
aren't getting along too well.
250
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:32,321
He just all of a sudden
rocketed into puberty somewhere.
251
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:34,356
He's hanging out with
older guys, causing trouble.
252
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,625
He got brought home in a
squad car the other night.
253
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,550
I believe I heard that
on my police scanner.
254
00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:43,599
Wilson, he's like
the oldest kid.
255
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:46,335
He's a gear head, like me.
Just loves this stuff, you know.
256
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,337
And then he messes
up and I gotta ground him
257
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:49,939
the week of the
monster truck rally.
258
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,008
The big trucks out at
the Silver Dome. Oh, yes.
259
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:55,678
Fordzilla is coming
out of retirement.
260
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,814
But I don't think he's any
match for Truckenstein.
261
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,770
Wilson...
262
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:09,926
it's just not fair.
263
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:12,428
Well, Fordzilla's had
his day in the sun.
264
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:13,963
Oh, no, no, no...
265
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,898
About Brad. Oh.
266
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:19,035
Just gets old enough
to start having fun with...
267
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,292
and all we do is fight.
268
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:33,282
Sounds like he's caught
269
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:35,952
in the classic
tribal/industrial dilemma.
270
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:38,988
Oh, yeah. That's
probably what it is, yeah.
271
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,990
He's trying to cross the
threshold into manhood,
272
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:42,725
but he doesn't know how.
273
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,460
You see, Tim,
in tribal societies,
274
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,996
as soon as boys show the
first signs of becoming men,
275
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:50,166
they're immediately
initiated into adulthood.
276
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,934
How?
277
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:54,103
Well, some of the
more popular rituals
278
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:57,773
include scarring...
pulling of teeth,
279
00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:59,730
ritual circumcision.
280
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:05,181
Brad doesn't even like
getting his hair cut. Mmm...
281
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,583
But unfortunately, in
our industrial society
282
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,585
we don't have these rituals.
283
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:13,222
We prolong adolescence beyond
the biological indications of manhood,
284
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,458
confusing the child
as well as the parent.
285
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:20,318
Wow. I thought he
was just being a jerk.
286
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:26,269
What should I do? I
can't tell you that, Tim.
287
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:29,538
Nowadays, each father has
to find his own unique way
288
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:32,008
to initiate his son.
289
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,943
And? That's it.
290
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:36,634
That's it? Mm-hmm.
291
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:41,150
I gotta be honest, Wilson.
You kind of disappointed me.
292
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:43,319
Oh? Yeah, usually
you give me advice
293
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,054
or point me in
the right direction,
294
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,290
or at least find some
way of lifting my spirits.
295
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:49,825
I am so sorry, neighbor.
296
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:52,550
Tim, place your
hands on the fence.
297
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:57,133
Like this?
298
00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,468
♪ Kumbaya, good neighbor, Tim
299
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,203
♪ Kumbaya
300
00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:03,205
♪ Kumbaya, good neighbor, Tim
301
00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:05,163
♪ Kumbaya ♪
Wilson...
302
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:10,179
Do you know "Michael
Row the Boat Ashore"?
303
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:13,449
(both) ♪ Michael
row the boat ashore
304
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:16,352
♪ Hallelujah ♪
305
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:18,309
(♪ bagpipe)
306
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,526
(sheep bleating)
307
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:40,642
This thing is like cherry.
308
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,445
It's all tweaked out.
It's in perfect shape.
309
00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:46,115
Well, I put a lot of
work into her, Tim.
310
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:48,317
You know, I chrome-plated
the valve covers.
311
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,651
You did?
312
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:52,989
I plasma-coated the
block and intake manifold.
313
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:55,724
I didn't know you were
that interested in cars.
314
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:58,527
Well, Tim, you never asked.
315
00:16:58,551 --> 00:16:59,928
I'm impressed.
316
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:02,064
Not a lot of guys would
take the time or the money
317
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:05,601
to tweak out an '84
Mercury Marquis wagon.
318
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:08,371
My mother thought it
was a nice, safe car.
319
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,572
And roomy.
320
00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:12,574
It'll come in handy if
you ever get married...
321
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:14,698
or get a date.
322
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:23,085
They should wear
underwear with these things.
323
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:25,421
You're supposed to, Tim.
324
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:28,279
Now, that would explain
the itching then, wouldn't it?
325
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:33,329
Good morning, fellas.
326
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:34,997
Welcome, laddies.
327
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,299
Hey, bud. (Angus) I
see you got here early.
328
00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:39,801
Yep. Nothing like getting
up at the crack of dawn,
329
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:42,038
smell the wet sheep, and
rockin' out to that music.
330
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,039
Ow!
331
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,773
We got here so
Tim could practice
332
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,842
and not embarrass himself.
333
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,511
Al, you worry too
much. What could poss...
334
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,034
Ooh, whoa!
335
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:55,384
That's a caber? Aye,
they're ten foot long.
336
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,154
Seamus there is
taking a practice toss.
337
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:01,090
Why don't you take
one yourself, Timmy?
338
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:02,858
Great. Can't wait.
339
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,927
Maybe you should start
with a smaller caber?
340
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:09,265
Aye, we've got the
shorter ones the ladies use.
341
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:11,800
(snickers)
342
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:14,203
I think I can handle
a full-sized one.
343
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:16,194
All right.
344
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,276
(Tim grunts)
345
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:23,579
You got it? Oh, yeah, boy...
346
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,536
Pretty good, chief.
347
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:32,977
Watch out!
348
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,129
You need a hand with
that, Tim? No, no, no...
349
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:42,198
I... I think I got it.
350
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,155
Oh, no...!
351
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,611
Brad, I know we've had
a rough couple of days.
352
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,481
And I'm pretty sure I
know what's going on.
353
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:00,449
Your hormones
are rushing through
354
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:03,274
this industrial-strength
tribal thing.
355
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,322
Yeah, right, Dad.
356
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:08,924
Son...
357
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:12,094
What I'm trying to say is if
you need to talk to somebody,
358
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:13,562
I'm here to listen, all right?
359
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,587
It's real important
to me that you... Ow!
360
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:21,437
You all right, Dad?
Ow, I pinched my finger.
361
00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:24,173
That stupid little vice...
362
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,508
What are you trying to do?
363
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,744
I'm getting the tail pipe set
up for the exhaust system.
364
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,514
I could do it. No,
this is man stuff.
365
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:34,639
You gotta do all the
torching and flame and...
366
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:40,389
Why don't you give it a shot?
367
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,558
Do you really mean it? Yeah.
368
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:45,127
Do you know how to put
that helmet on? I know, I know.
369
00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:47,084
Tighten it back here.
370
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,599
All right, turn your
oxyacetylene on the same...
371
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:54,203
I know, I know. I've
seen you a million times.
372
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,160
OK.
373
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:04,335
Just relax, just relax.
Scratch it across there.
374
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:09,251
Ouch. Yeah.
375
00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:10,719
Easy, easy...
376
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,821
I scored the pipe
where I want you to cut it.
377
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,557
All right? Now,
don't go too slow,
378
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,392
you'll burn a hole
right through it.
379
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:19,728
If you go too fast, you
won't get an even cut.
380
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,298
Open up your
stance a little bit.
381
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:24,255
Get down there, start
cutting. There you go.
382
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,159
(Tim) Good.
383
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,498
Yeah!
384
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:45,787
I'm impressed.
385
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:48,257
Thanks, Dad. It was really neat.
386
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:50,826
"Really neat?" It's
better than that, man.
387
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,728
You moved into a
new phase of your life.
388
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,330
I have? Yeah.
389
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,621
You just cut metal with fire.
390
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:02,037
We gotta celebrate. Celebrate?
391
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:05,307
Yeah... (chants)
392
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:07,965
Come on, Dad, please. Please.
393
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:12,814
Wait, wait, wait,
we can't forget
394
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:15,306
the ritual anointing
of the man-child.
395
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:21,056
Holy oil, holy...
396
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,559
10w40 all-weather.
397
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:26,228
Come on, Dad.
What are you doing?
398
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:27,696
Oh, come on. It's
part of the ritual.
399
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,197
(chants)
400
00:21:29,221 --> 00:21:31,032
You're getting off easy.
401
00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:33,357
You should've heard what
Wilson wanted me to do to you.
402
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:38,607
You're a man-child now.
403
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,108
But you're still a little
slow or a little kid.
404
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,878
What? Did I have a girl? I
thought you were a little guy.
405
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:46,081
Come on. Little
slow boy like that?
406
00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:49,540
Oh, maybe it was a girl in
disguise, and I didn't even tell it.
407
00:21:51,243 --> 00:21:53,110
See?
408
00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:57,058
Good step today. The
first step towards manhood -
409
00:21:57,082 --> 00:21:58,093
that's it.
410
00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:00,429
(both grunt)
411
00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:03,321
Now, finish cleaning
the basement.
412
00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:12,474
We're back! It was great!
413
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:16,044
Yeah, Fordzilla set
a new world record!
414
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:18,580
So? I cut metal with
a blowtorch. Yeah.
415
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:21,583
Dad, you should have
seen it. He ate 19 cars.
416
00:22:21,607 --> 00:22:23,985
Full... full...
full-size cars? Yeah.
417
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,454
Oh, no!
418
00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:28,123
Brad, we got this
cool hat for you.
419
00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:29,725
Where's my hat? Awesome.
420
00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:31,849
Mom has it.
421
00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:39,601
Have fun?
422
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:41,091
Huh?
423
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,340
Did you like the seats?
You were right up front?
424
00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:46,875
Huh?
425
00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:50,339
You're trying to say those
trucks are pretty loud, huh?
426
00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:54,772
Not now - I'm all dirty.
427
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:15,926
(woman) Are we moving on? OK.
427
00:23:16,305 --> 00:24:16,404
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