1
00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:03,546
Tim, it's 45 minutes to
our dinner reservation.
2
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:05,548
Aren't you gonna take a shower?
3
00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:07,784
Honey, I don't need
to take a shower.
4
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:10,487
I have a natural,
earthy, musky scent.
5
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,022
Quit that.
6
00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:13,457
No, really. Stick
your nose right there
7
00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:15,892
and tell me I don't
smell like a man.
8
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,794
Yeah, Cro-Magnon man.
9
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,396
Arr. Arr-arr.
10
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:22,432
And I believe he was
never fully erect, either.
11
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:25,802
Ohh!
12
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:28,372
Ready! Set! Hut-hut!
13
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,974
Oh, shoot!
14
00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:34,577
Randy! That's why your
coach doesn't let you play.
15
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:37,580
Dad, I always fumble.
My hands are too small.
16
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:40,850
I got the answer. Up until now,
you didn't have the proper equipment.
17
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,987
"Wacky Quacky Glue"?
18
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:46,156
Think of it as
professional stickum.
19
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,557
But it says on the bottle
20
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,926
not to let it come in
contact with your skin.
21
00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:52,896
Oh, please. They mean
pretty little pink girl skin.
22
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:57,067
We've got man skin -
calluses, warts, open wounds.
23
00:00:57,091 --> 00:01:00,870
Oh, yeah. A little dab
in each palm like that,
24
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,774
a little bit of turpentine to dilute
it. Don't wanna make it too sticky.
25
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:08,878
And now... you won't
be able to drop that ball.
26
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,947
Wow, that's cool, Dad.
27
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:13,016
All right.
28
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,818
Let's go.
29
00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:17,521
Do you want us to run a play?
30
00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:21,258
Um... I got a better idea.
31
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:25,095
Why don't you guys try
to pull my arms apart?
32
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,997
Your hands are stuck
together, aren't they?
33
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,467
No. This is a strength exercise.
34
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:34,271
You grab that arm, Randy, you
grab that arm, and try to pull 'em apart.
35
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,606
1, 2, 3. Pull.
36
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,797
Aah!
37
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:46,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
38
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,467
What do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
39
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,916
Jill? It's me.
40
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,753
Come on in, Karen. I'm in.
41
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:59,856
Gosh, I really appreciate you giving
up a Friday night to stay with our kids.
42
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,426
No problem. Your boys are at least as
mature as the men I've been dating lately.
43
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:06,863
(chuckles) Tim, come
on. Karen's here. Let's go.
44
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:09,633
Right, right, right. We're
almost done with the drill, honey.
45
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,734
Harder, harder.
46
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:14,237
I see you're
watching Tim's show.
47
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:15,638
Yeah, this is this
new thing they're
48
00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:17,374
starting on the show
called "Gadget Corner."
49
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:18,708
He wants me to
take a look at it.
50
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:21,178
Oh, goody. Here we go.
51
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:25,248
Place the jar under
here, grips the lid,
52
00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:26,149
with one easy twist...
53
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:28,618
Oh, that's cool.
54
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,188
Fascinating device, Barbara.
Thank you for sharing it.
55
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:33,956
I like her hair. Pretty color.
56
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:37,060
Whoa! Look at that!
Did you see that?
57
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:38,061
What?
58
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:40,397
He was checking
her out. Look at this.
59
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,787
Oh.
60
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,069
(Karen laughs)
61
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,271
Tim.
62
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:49,639
I gotta go get cleaned up.
63
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:52,309
No, no, no. Come back. We're
watching "Gadget Corner."
64
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:53,610
You guys like this
segment? Yeah.
65
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:56,112
By the way, Jill and
I thought the woman
66
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:59,316
who demonstrated the lid
opener was very attractive.
67
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,685
Didn't you? Attractive.
68
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,420
I hardly even noticed
she was a woman.
69
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:06,489
Hardly even noticed. Oh,
let's go to the videotape.
70
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:07,779
Let's do.
71
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:11,794
Watch closely, Tim.
72
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:13,296
(Al) We'll be looking at...
73
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,254
There!
74
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:19,236
Looks like you're
noticing something.
75
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:22,239
Wait a minute. I wasn't looking
at her. I was looking past her.
76
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:24,974
Yeah, right into her water bed.
77
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,711
She was leaving,
just like you should be.
78
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:29,379
I had to acknowledge her.
79
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:33,350
Oh, well, OK, let's look at that
acknowledgment again, shall we?
80
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,118
Let's do, yeah.
81
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:38,388
Do those legs go all the way up?
82
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:41,725
You know, this shot is
not supposed to be on me.
83
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,560
It's supposed to be on Al.
84
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:46,229
Oh, so you only gawk at
women when Jill's not around.
85
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:48,998
Yes. No.
86
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,100
I was looking at her, but you know
what I was thinking the whole time?
87
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,437
"She's stunning at 25,
but she's no Jill." Oh.
88
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,439
So I'm old and plain?
89
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,309
You are far from plain.
90
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:02,111
And old. Far from old.
91
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,347
You're so far from old,
you're practically young.
92
00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,416
Any last requests, Taylor?
93
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,551
What is the big deal?
So I glanced at a woman.
94
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,353
You're a married man, Tim.
95
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:13,590
A happily married man
and don't you ever forget it!
96
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:16,893
Let's face it, Jill. Tim is just
your typical American male.
97
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,662
No self-control.
98
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,130
Oh, please. I have
plenty of self-control.
99
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,632
Hah! Yeah, right.
100
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,634
I say that you won't even
make it through this meal tonight
101
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,303
without checking out the babes.
102
00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:30,139
He'll be lucky to make it
past, "Taylor, table for two."
103
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,643
OK, OK. I'll prove it.
104
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:38,147
I guarantee tonight I won't
be "checking out the babes."
105
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,331
Uh-huh.
106
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,774
We'll see who gets
the last laugh tonight.
107
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:57,900
Excuse me, sir.
108
00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:59,869
Your table's back here.
109
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,305
Thank you. Thank you.
110
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:04,569
Enjoy your meal.
We will, thanks.
111
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:11,180
Tim, you've made your point.
You can at least look at me.
112
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:15,585
Have I told you how
beautiful you look tonight?
113
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,654
Yeah, yeah, right.
114
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:22,258
Excuse me. Aren't
you, uh...? Arr. Arr-arr.
115
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,227
Yeah, oh-oh-oh.
116
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:28,565
Boy, do I love you show.
Tell me something, though.
117
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:32,168
That Al, does he really
know more than you,
118
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:35,037
or is that just an act?
119
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,740
That's just an act.
120
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:39,843
Oh. It's a good one.
121
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,645
Arr-arr-arr.
122
00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:45,114
(grunting) Why don't you go
sit down at your table, fella?
123
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:46,418
Arr-arr-arr.
124
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,456
I think you're really
gonna love Indian food,
125
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,893
and they got lamb
curry, chicken tandoori,
126
00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:00,963
and this keema korma
looks really good.
127
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:04,456
Food smells like somebody
keema korma'd out in the alley.
128
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:10,540
That's just that glue
you have on your hands.
129
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:13,298
Didn't you get that
stuff off? Yeah, uh-huh.
130
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:27,056
You know, I think that glue's a little
strong for Randy's football practice.
131
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,626
Well, you know,
Tim, I think it's great
132
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,594
that you're working with
Randy and everything,
133
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,063
but don't you think you're exerting a
little too much macho pressure on him?
134
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,900
He likes football. I'm
not sure there's any way -
135
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:39,068
You did it! Did what?
136
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,904
You looked at that
woman. I did not.
137
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:44,240
Yes, you did. I
mean, it's no big deal,
138
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:47,544
but I think you should know that
we've been here less than one minute,
139
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:50,112
and you have already
checked a woman out.
140
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,783
I did not look at that woman,
and if I did, which I didn't,
141
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,553
I'm a people person. People
walk by, I'm gonna notice.
142
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,856
OK, people person,
143
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:03,292
what did the man look
like that was with her?
144
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,249
Man?
145
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:10,199
Yeah. Men are people, too.
146
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,001
Wait a minute. How'd you
know there was a man there?
147
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,436
You were checking
him out, weren't you?
148
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:17,340
No. They're sitting
right over there.
149
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,875
You just did it again.
150
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,910
I was looking at the man.
151
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,278
OK, what was he wearing?
152
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:23,680
Wearing?
153
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,349
A red dress. No, wait a minute.
154
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:29,185
She was wearing
red, he's wearing blue.
155
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,253
Hey, Tool Man, arr-arr-arr.
156
00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:33,111
Arr-arr-arr. Tim!
157
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,226
You're gonna
rupture a vertebrae.
158
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,028
Face it, you cannot
help yourself.
159
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,931
You are so pathetic.
160
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,256
Whoa, baby. Bad news.
161
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:53,977
This is not the night for you
to give up looking at women.
162
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:57,614
Uh-huh. Oh, why is that, Jill?
163
00:08:57,638 --> 00:09:01,250
Because an unbelievable
young goddess just came in
164
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,819
and sat right behind you.
165
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,854
Yeah, right. I'm
gonna fall into that one.
166
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,923
What, a 74-year-old
steel worker?
167
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,925
"Hey, Marge, they
got no beer here."
168
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,159
Not exactly, Tim.
169
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:11,661
Oh, yeah, she's the
va-va-voom type?
170
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,129
Well, as a matter of fact,
171
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:17,266
she has great va-vas
and a darn good voom.
172
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,935
It's all right with me because
you're lookin' pretty good
173
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,771
since you took a couple
pounds off your voom.
174
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,806
Well, thank you so much.
175
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,207
Now, if you'll excuse me,
176
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,911
I'm going to take my
voom to the ladies' room.
177
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:31,247
I'll be right here looking at
my menu and nothing else.
178
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:36,074
Oh, man. Off to the
right, 3:00. Unbelievable.
179
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,610
Hey, it is you.
180
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:04,180
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
I never miss your show.
181
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:08,017
Oh, you have me confused with
that handsome guy on Tool Time.
182
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,519
Don't be modest. Could
I get your autograph?
183
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,922
Yeah. Quick, why don't
you slide it right under here
184
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,924
under my head here? OK.
185
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:18,327
Could you make
it out to Kiki? Kiki?
186
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:21,698
K-i... ohh.
187
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:25,868
OK, Kikster, there you go.
188
00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:28,104
Could you put my last name, too?
189
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,872
You know, my wife
is due back. She's -
190
00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:32,196
Kiki Von Fursterwallenscheinlaw.
191
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,015
What?
192
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,150
F-u-r-s-t-e-r-
193
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,486
w-a-l-l... I'm getting a
hand cramp. Hold on.
194
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:47,724
E-n-s-c-h-e-i-n-l-a-w.
195
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:52,161
L-a-w. Good thing it
didn't run out of ink.
196
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,430
Now can you grunt for me?
197
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:56,899
Well, you know, my
wife is coming back -
198
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:59,323
Hello, honey. Excuse me.
199
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,440
(grunts from choking)
200
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:07,398
(all the men grunting)
201
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,851
What are you doing?
202
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:17,142
Are you choking?
203
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:23,048
(grunting stops)
204
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:32,935
(door closes)
205
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,436
Oh, upstairs, you guys.
Your parents are home.
206
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,394
Quick, quick, quick.
207
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:40,743
We're back. Hi.
208
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,278
Hi. How were the boys?
209
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,213
Terrific. Been in bed for hours.
210
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,715
Yeah.
211
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:46,983
How was dinner?
212
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:50,419
It was great. Good
food, nice atmosphere,
213
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,621
excellent service, Tim
almost choked to death.
214
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:55,124
All in all, a splendid evening.
215
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,459
I got a little piece of
bread caught in my throat.
216
00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:59,128
Yeah, he went into shock
217
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:03,722
after staring at
Bambi the land nymph.
218
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:08,738
It was Kiki the land nymph. Oh.
219
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,807
Tim, I am stunned.
220
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:13,509
You mean you couldn't
control that animal drive?
221
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,377
Had nothing to do
with animal drive.
222
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,379
The young lady
wanted an autograph.
223
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:18,781
But you looked.
224
00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:21,017
All right, I looked, but
it didn't mean anything.
225
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,052
It was like looking
at a beautiful car.
226
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,888
Oh, so you're saying
women are cars?
227
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:29,491
No. What I'm saying is I
appreciate beauty in all of its forms,
228
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:34,363
like a sailboat cruising across
an open sea with a full sail.
229
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:39,635
Yeah, well, Kiki certainly
had a full set of sails.
230
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:44,907
According to Tim's theory, that
would make you and I, what, tugboats?
231
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,731
You'd be a dingy.
232
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,413
Thank you so much.
233
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,478
Look, all I'm saying,
Tim, is if I were
234
00:12:53,502 --> 00:12:55,885
married to you and you
looked at other women,
235
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,554
I think it would
hurt my feelings.
236
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,623
Karen... What?
237
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:03,425
I'm not married to you,
238
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:07,085
and the real shocker, I
like hurting your feelings.
239
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,767
Bye-bye, Jill.
240
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:13,402
Goodbye, Karen. Thanks
for watching the boys, Karen.
241
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,437
You're welcome. I love you guys.
242
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,541
Good night. Thanks
a lot. Bye-bye.
243
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,345
Tim. Yeah.
244
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:28,985
Are you happy in
this relationship?
245
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,186
Yeah.
246
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:34,257
Is there anything that
you would change? No.
247
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:37,641
So, you're completely satisfied?
Yeah, I'm completely satisfied.
248
00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:41,130
It's my hair, isn't it?
249
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,600
What? You don't like the
way I changed my hair.
250
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:48,604
I told you, I love you hair.
No. I had to ask you first.
251
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:50,639
Well, I love your hair.
252
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:54,410
I love the way it
smells, no bald spot.
253
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,846
Would you go over and
get those mugs for me?
254
00:13:56,870 --> 00:14:00,216
Honey. So you're happy
with our relationship -
255
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,218
I'm happy with our relationship.
You're completely satisfied.
256
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:04,353
I'm completely satisfied.
You love my hair.
257
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,822
I absolutely love your hair.
258
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:09,425
Then why were you looking
at other women tonight?
259
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:10,993
Why was I looking at
other women tonight?
260
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,361
Are you stalling?
261
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:14,152
Am I stalling?
262
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:18,067
Why do you look?
263
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,436
There's a couple reasons.
264
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:24,173
You have your primary reason
and your secondary reason.
265
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,909
Primary reason first followed
by your secondary reason. Tim,
266
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,867
why?
267
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:37,041
Could you repeat that question?
268
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:41,824
Hey, Randy, what's going on?
269
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,125
Nothin'.
270
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:45,294
How'd your practice go today?
271
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:48,898
I fumbled three times.
272
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:54,570
Hey, buddy, had a bad
day. We all got bad days.
273
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,072
Yeah, there's a
rumor going around
274
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:59,208
they're gonna make
me cheerleader.
275
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:02,811
Oh, no. If that happens,
276
00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,513
make sure you get on
the top of that pyramid.
277
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:07,016
You don't wanna be on
the bottom of that thing.
278
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,684
Dad.
279
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,953
All you gotta do is work on your
ball-handling and your moves.
280
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:14,656
I've worked on 'em every day.
281
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,859
Maybe I'm just too
small to be any good.
282
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,861
No, you're not.
283
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,997
What you need is
a training machine.
284
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,932
Let me guess, you're
gonna build it, right?
285
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:26,135
Man, sometimes you
can just read my mind.
286
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:30,106
It'll be great. Ropes, tackling
dummies, small explosions.
287
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:33,109
If you can survive it, you can be
one of the best players in Michigan.
288
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,899
OK, when do we start?
289
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,647
We could do it right now.
290
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:41,817
Go get changed. I'll get some tools
out of the garage and start building 'em.
291
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,752
I'll be right there.
292
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,977
(radio plays)
293
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,557
Hey, Wilson?
294
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,514
Aloha, good neighbor.
295
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:54,596
What's with that cheesy music?
296
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,365
I want to take a vacation,
297
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:59,601
so I'm mentally projecting
myself to a place I'd like to be.
298
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,903
Hawaii?
299
00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:05,074
Oh, no, no, no. Tahiti.
Hawaii's too crowded.
300
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,143
Do you mind if I
interrupt your vacation?
301
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,766
Crack my coconut, Tim.
302
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:14,650
The other night, Jill took
me to this restaurant...
303
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,085
Mm-hmm.
304
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:19,355
And I was glancing
at these other women.
305
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:22,358
Don't get me wrong. I
love Jill. I'm crazy about her.
306
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,327
She is a magnificent mate, Tim.
307
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:27,063
Yeah, I know. I really
try to respect women.
308
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:31,400
I don't consciously
gawk at 'em. I do look.
309
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,169
Is it a reflex or something?
310
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:36,505
Well, Tim, it goes
back a million years.
311
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:40,009
In order for the
species to survive,
312
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:43,512
Stone Age man had to seek
out many different women.
313
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:46,682
Kind of a ménage a Flintstone.
314
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,617
Mmm.
315
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:52,754
You see, Tim, there's something very
deep in your collective unconscious.
316
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:54,756
My collective unconscious.
317
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:56,359
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
318
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,594
You still possess ancient
man's primary fantasy -
319
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:02,231
to seek out many
different women.
320
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,854
(grunts) Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.
321
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,237
Jill doesn't understand that.
322
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:11,040
Probably because a woman's
primary fantasy continues to be
323
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:14,276
a meaningful relationship
with just one man.
324
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:17,513
Yeah, but I look at
women because...
325
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:20,204
collectively, I'm unconscious.
326
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:28,124
In a manner of speaking, Tim.
327
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:32,028
So it's in my nature
to look at women.
328
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,496
That means it's OK.
329
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:34,796
It's OK if you're
on the Serengeti
330
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:37,933
chasing a
wildebeest with a club.
331
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:40,869
But I was in a restaurant in
West Bloomfield with my wife.
332
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,205
Well, then, I'd call
it downright rude.
333
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:46,164
Oh, oh, oh.
334
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:54,116
Al, have I ever told you what a
great job you do on the show?
335
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,885
No, Tim, you haven't.
336
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,587
Huh. Well, anyway,
337
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:01,190
we finished cutting the holes
in the top part of the Formica,
338
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:04,660
and Al's gonna install
the tubing and the faucet.
339
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:07,096
Our faucet is... hmm.
340
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,865
Al, you suppose if an ancient
Egyptian king owned this,
341
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:13,157
it's be called a pharaoh faucet?
342
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:18,006
Only by you, Tim.
343
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:20,642
Of course, he'd be
married to Ryan O'Nile.
344
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:23,179
Yeah, right. OK.
345
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,781
Al's measured our pipe
to the correct length,
346
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:29,351
and I'll be cutting it with my old,
tubular, trusty Binford hacksaw.
347
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,653
Gosh, I've had this
thing a long time.
348
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:34,723
You get to take stuff for
granted after a while, you know.
349
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,658
Don't respect it
like you should.
350
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:39,661
You know what I'm getting
at? Not even close, Tim.
351
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:42,164
Well, I'm saying that
you could go out and buy -
352
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:44,766
See, the new ones
are all shiny chrome
353
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,768
and polyurethane
handles and everything,
354
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,805
but you kind of forget that old
faithful one you got back home.
355
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:50,906
Little clearer now?
356
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:53,030
Less than ever, Tim.
357
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,379
I'm talking about
that old faithful saw
358
00:18:57,403 --> 00:19:01,417
that, um, you wouldn't give
up for anything in the world
359
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:05,254
because it's a
lifelong companion,
360
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,523
where every nick
and cut in that blade
361
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:11,860
is a memory of some of the
things you've created together.
362
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:14,963
It just fits. Hmm.
363
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,687
Hmm.
364
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,845
What is it, Al? Fumes?
365
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:34,450
No. I get your point now, Tim.
366
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,252
You respect me.
367
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,220
Huh?
368
00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:40,278
You really respect me.
369
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:47,163
We'll be right back after these
messages from Binford Tools.
370
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,931
It's OK, Al. Let go of me, Al.
371
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,795
(show theme plays/ turns off TV)
372
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:57,039
Well, ahem, that was
an interesting show.
373
00:19:57,063 --> 00:20:00,209
I particularly liked
the part about the saw.
374
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,278
So you got the meaning of it?
375
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,713
Yeah.
376
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:07,749
I know you were upset at
the restaurant the other night.
377
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:10,952
Well, you know,
it just bothered me
378
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:12,754
that you couldn't go
more than one minute
379
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,557
without looking
at another woman.
380
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,458
I think that had
a lot to do with
381
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,694
you and Karen talking
about that all night.
382
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,896
So if Karen and I hadn't
been talking about it,
383
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,165
you would've been able to
go, like, what, two minutes?
384
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,734
Easy.
385
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:31,307
I know it sounds stupid, but
sometimes when you look,
386
00:20:31,331 --> 00:20:33,642
it makes me feel less
appealing, you know,
387
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:37,079
like, um, I lost a
little something.
388
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:38,214
Oh, you haven't lost anything.
389
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,437
You've gained.
390
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:47,256
No, come on. Your
best, you're the best.
391
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,625
I think you're beautiful.
You know that.
392
00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:53,762
The problem is I have
unconscious cave-man fantasies.
393
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,063
What?
394
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:59,368
I was talking to Wilson, and
men have cave-man fantasies
395
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:02,304
about being with thousands
of women at one time.
396
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:03,739
Oh, really?
397
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:07,097
You don't have that problem
because you have your fantasy.
398
00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:12,814
And what would that be?
399
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:14,816
Me. You?
400
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,285
Yes.
401
00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:18,754
So, my fantasy
is to be with a man
402
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:22,846
approaching middle-aged with a
paunch and a low-rated cable show?
403
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:27,396
Right. Now, that's
not what I'd look for,
404
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:30,299
but I'm not you.
405
00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:33,902
The truth is that what I
did was just downright rude.
406
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:36,338
It'd be like burping in public.
407
00:21:36,362 --> 00:21:38,140
And you do that all the time.
408
00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:41,176
But not with other women.
409
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,312
I save my best burps for you.
410
00:21:43,336 --> 00:21:46,437
Oh, thank you so much.
411
00:21:50,176 --> 00:21:52,821
Well, honey, what do you think?
412
00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:56,992
Silly me. I wanted a pool. Oh.
413
00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:58,927
Hey, Dad, can I turn
this on? Don't turn it on.
414
00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:01,196
Jill, get out of the way.
Gimme the ball. Come on.
415
00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:02,898
Mark, come here.
All right, Randy,
416
00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:05,282
pay close
attention to this drill.
417
00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:10,205
This will give
you proof positive
418
00:22:10,229 --> 00:22:13,141
that skill and speed
419
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:16,244
are more important than size.
420
00:22:16,268 --> 00:22:20,349
We're talking agility. Ball.
421
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:22,851
Arr-arr-arr-arr.
422
00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:25,854
Hut-hut-hut-hut-hut.
423
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:28,256
I'm impressed. Way to go, Dad.
424
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,058
Now the fun begins.
425
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:32,194
Brad, top three
switches - flip 'em.
426
00:22:32,218 --> 00:22:35,230
Like this?
427
00:22:35,254 --> 00:22:38,088
(Jill) Cool. (Mark) Yeah.
428
00:22:39,425 --> 00:22:41,903
(Mark) Whoa. Slow
'em down a little bit.
429
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:44,072
I can't. It's stuck.
430
00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:45,674
It's stuck.
431
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,676
(Mark) Yeah, knock his head off.
432
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,277
(Brad) Come on, Dad!
433
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:51,213
(Jill) Ha-ha-ha. All right!
434
00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:54,805
Is this the switch
for the other dummy?
435
00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:01,111
Aloha, Tim.
436
00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:06,061
(Jill) A little fast, isn't it?
Slow this one down, Brad.
437
00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:07,629
I can't. It's stuck.
438
00:23:07,653 --> 00:23:09,631
Well, you can do
it. Come on, Tim.
439
00:23:09,655 --> 00:23:12,033
(Mark) Knock his head
off. Knock his head off.
440
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,336
(Jill chuckles) Come on.
441
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,338
(Brad) Oh, come on.
442
00:23:16,362 --> 00:23:17,539
(all cheer)
443
00:23:17,563 --> 00:23:20,564
What's this switch? (Jill) Whoa.
443
00:23:21,305 --> 00:24:21,308
Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/8d4q9
Help other users to choose the best subtitles