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00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:03,080
Before we get started, I
want to remind our audience
2
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:06,283
that next time on Tool Time we
have some very special guests.
3
00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:09,686
That superstar racing team
of Mario and Michael Andretti
4
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,710
will be here. All right.
5
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:19,262
I'm very excited to have my
racing heroes on the show.
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00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:21,764
It's hard to imagine you getting
so jazzed-up about racing,
7
00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:23,100
the way you drive.
8
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:25,735
He drives like an old
woman in a church parking lot.
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00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,937
Watch out for the
speed bump! Ba-bump.
10
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,007
I drive defensively, Tim.
11
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:32,464
You dress defensively, Al.
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My mother gave me this shirt.
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Why? Did she outgrow it?
14
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No...
15
00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:42,986
Anyway, let's get back
to our salute... (squelch)
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00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:45,755
to lubricants. For
this demonstration,
17
00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,492
we've split this straight
six-cylinder down the middle.
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00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:51,395
Tim, my mother has very fine
taste. Her shirts look nothing like this.
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00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:53,596
Right, Al. Anyway,
try to imagine,
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00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:56,599
if you will, that my
fists are pistons.
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00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,102
All right, Al. Close
up the engine.
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00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:01,938
Gladly, Tim.
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00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:04,441
Oh!
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00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:06,776
OK. Let's try to
start this engine.
25
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,334
(making engine noises)
26
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:15,452
Well, it won't start.
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00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,987
That's because the
pistons are stuck.
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Just like they were last
year during the NBA play-offs.
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But they will move
if they're lubricated.
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That's if the oil
pump is pumping oil
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00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:29,732
through the system,
the pistons will move.
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00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:32,069
So, let's open the engine up and
show 'em how the oil gets in there.
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00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:33,636
Grab the oil and open me up, Al.
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00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,738
Ah, here it is, of
course, motor oil.
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Well, gee, I wouldn't
want to get any of this
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on my nice shirt
my mother gave me.
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00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:44,647
I better go change
before I let you out.
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Come on, open this up, Al. Al!
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Tool Time tip of the day:
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when you're insulting
your coworker's mother,
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00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:58,528
make sure you're not locked
into an engine compartment.
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00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,230
Al, I know you're back there.
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00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,031
Al, I know right
where you're standing.
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00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,089
Al, let me out.
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00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:55,952
Mark, stop scratching
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00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:58,721
or I'm gonna have to cut
your fingernails even shorter!
48
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,089
(Mark) But it itches!
49
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:03,560
Well, bring the calamine
lotion down again.
50
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:05,228
(Mark) Aw, man.
51
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:08,465
Mom, please,
please don't run away.
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00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:11,067
These are for your father.
He's never had chickenpox
53
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,669
and I don't want Mark
to give 'em to him,
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00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,672
so he's gonna have to
move out for a few days.
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00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:19,042
Huh. Well, I've never
had chickenpox, either.
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00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:20,644
I think I'll just
go pack my bags
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00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:22,512
and check into a nice hotel.
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00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,747
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You stay right
where you are. I want you to get 'em.
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00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:28,451
Did you kiss your
brother like I told you to?
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00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:31,410
Oh, yeah, and we're
getting married next Tuesday.
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00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:34,857
I wish you would be
nicer to your brother.
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00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:38,295
You know, he's probably the only
little brother you're ever gonna have.
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00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,129
In fact, I guarantee you
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00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:42,632
he's the only little brother
you're ever gonna have.
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00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,934
So here, just take
this juice to him.
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00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:48,738
And you better be sick when
you get up in the morning.
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00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:51,074
(coughs)
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00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:54,010
Hi, baby. Oh, hi.
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00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,613
Why are my bags over
here? You gotta leave.
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00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,604
Ohh.
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00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:03,086
This is 'cause I said
that your mother was
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00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,711
the world's second
largest mammal, isn't it?
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00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:12,929
I never heard that.
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00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:16,433
I never said it.
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00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,968
Remember that fever
that Mark had last night?
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00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:21,871
Flu? It's chickenpox.
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00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:25,141
There are germs
everywhere. Don't touch that.
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00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:27,910
I can't get sick. The Andrettis
are gonna be on Tool Time.
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00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,313
I'll go to my mom's.
No, no. A hotel!
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00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:32,349
Well, check with Al before
you do anything else.
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00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:35,084
Why? Well, when I called
to warn you about that,
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00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,621
he said that you could
stay at his apartment.
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00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:40,089
Stay with Al. That's a good one.
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00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,492
Well, I told him that
you'd get back to him.
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00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:43,893
You didn't just say no?
86
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:47,330
Well, I didn't know what to
say. He was really being sweet.
87
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:50,833
He called you his roomie.
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00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:52,369
Oh, man.
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00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:56,072
Well, you know, he said he
wanted to do something nice
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00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:58,475
because of that lubricant
thing that he did to you -
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00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,799
and please don't explain that.
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00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:05,715
Mom. What? That's Mark.
93
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:06,983
Don't let him get near
you. Go on, go on, go on.
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00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,985
Mark, I gotta go away
for a couple of days.
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00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,421
Feel better, buddy.
Thanks. I'll miss you.
96
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,590
I'll miss you too, buddy.
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00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:16,959
Hey, Wilson. Hi-de-ho, Tim.
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00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,662
(Tim) Smells like you're
barbecuing. Mm-hmm.
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00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,997
Smells good. Burgers,
hotdogs, chicken? No, no, no.
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00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:25,724
Today we're having some grilled
grasshopper-and-cricket kabobs.
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00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:29,773
I got the recipe out of
my survival newsletter,
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00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:31,730
Aftermath.
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00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,313
Huh. I'll be gone a couple days.
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00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:39,182
Mark got chickenpox and
I've never had them so...
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Mm-hm-hm-hm.
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(Tim) Can I ask you a question?
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Throw another bug
on my barbecue.
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00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,626
Al wants me to stay
at his apartment.
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00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:52,028
And I really don't
want to. Mm-hmm.
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00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,997
But if... if I say no, I'm
gonna hurt his feelings,
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00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,702
and I don't want to do that, so I guess
I'm gonna have to stay there, right?
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00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,570
Well, Tim.
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00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:05,107
Your feelings are
important too. Right? Yeah.
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00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,477
Well, then you should
tell Al exactly how you feel.
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00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:10,814
You know what they say -
"Honesty is the best policy."
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All right, all right, all right.
I'll just tell him the truth.
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00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:16,219
I mean, guys don't
lie to each other.
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00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,955
I'll just say I don't want to
stay there. He'll understand that.
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00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,990
Thanks, Wilson.
Oh, you're welcome.
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Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have to scrounge up an appetizer.
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00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,564
(Al) Tim! Hi, Tim!
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00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,432
Al? What are you doing here?
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00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:32,736
Talk about timing. I was
just coming up the driveway
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00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,971
and Jill was coming
down with your bags,
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00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,139
so I put them in my
station wagon out front.
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00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:40,209
I really appreciate that,
Al, but I... Oh, and here, I...
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00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,879
I-I had this made
specially for you, this key.
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00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,670
It's got your initials on it.
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00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,708
Al, I don't wanna stay with you.
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00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:59,095
I mean, I don't wanna
stay with you for very long.
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00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,464
I don't wanna overstay my
welcome, you know, become a burden.
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00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:04,556
Oh, well, it's no burden.
Come on, roomie.
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00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,773
Welcome to my
humble abode, roomie.
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00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,730
Thanks, Allie.
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00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,546
So.
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00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,849
Well, this is where you'll
sleep. I made this myself.
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Yep.
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00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,886
I'll take the hammock, up here.
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00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:24,454
The... Of course, you
know the... Bathroom.
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00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,890
The bathroom is right
through here. That's right.
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00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:31,127
And your towels are the
ones with the matador on 'em.
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00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:34,564
And this is your closet space.
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00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:38,234
I didn't realize that flannel
could reproduce so quickly.
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00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:41,304
(Al laughs/snorts)
145
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:44,273
You know, normally, I
don't find you that funny,
146
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,142
but... but now
that we're roomies,
147
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:50,046
I realize you actually do
have a sense of humor.
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00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:53,917
It's from working with you,
Al. Who's this guy here?
149
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:57,153
It's Gordy Hawkins. A
race driver or something?
150
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,678
Oh, no, no. World-class
square-dance caller.
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00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:04,160
You know, I'm taking his
correspondence course,
152
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:07,452
"Getting in Touch with
the Square Dancer in You."
153
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:12,802
(♪ country)
154
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:16,105
(Al and caller) ♪ Well,
join hands, circle to the left
155
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:19,141
♪ Just circle to the left
156
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,443
♪ Round and round
157
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:24,013
♪ Kick those feet
up off the ground
158
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,983
♪ Make it quick, Jim take
Sue and Pam take Dick ♪
159
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,952
(doorbell rings)
160
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:32,221
♪ Promenade, go around the
ring Just promenade, go two by two
161
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,312
♪ Till you get back home ♪
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00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:40,396
Oh, hello, Cynthia.
163
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,431
Hi, Al. Who's at the door?
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00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,734
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't
know you had company.
165
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,903
No, Cynthia, please.
166
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,506
I would like you
to meet Tim Taylor.
167
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,208
This is the man that I work
with. Hi, Cynthia. How are you?
168
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:55,901
Oh, you're the one who
assists Al on his show.
169
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,720
That's me.
170
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:06,355
Can I borrow a cup of sugar?
171
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,892
Well, sure. Sure thing. Yeah.
172
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,727
I'm baking a cake.
173
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:13,763
Maybe you could come
over later and have some.
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00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:16,900
Well, I would love to. Yeah?
175
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:19,268
But, I... Well, gee,
I've got some activities
176
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,037
planned for Tim and me tonight.
177
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,472
Oh, boy.
178
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:26,009
Well, here's some sugar packets.
179
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,645
They ought to add up to a cup.
180
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,980
Oh, well, thanks. Bye.
181
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:34,183
It's nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, Cynthia.
182
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,907
Good night.
183
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:42,191
Great. Al, what's the
matter with you? What?
184
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,260
She invited you over. She
doesn't want to bake a cake.
185
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:48,197
She wants to sample
the Al dessert tray.
186
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,099
I know that, Tim.
187
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:53,402
It's just that she's on the
rebound. She's vulnerable.
188
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,738
I don't wanna take
advantage of that.
189
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,874
Oh, Al.
190
00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:01,544
It's not like a beautiful woman
stops by your apartment every day.
191
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:05,081
Actually, she does.
192
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,449
Hey, partner,
I'll tell you what.
193
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,585
Why don't we go
down to Big Mike's,
194
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:11,955
get ourselves some
burgers, have a beer?
195
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,489
Well, no, oh, no, no.
196
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:16,292
Listen, this is our
first night together.
197
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,694
Come on, partner.
198
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,729
They got that big
widescreen TV they just put in.
199
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:23,099
Well, I... I've got a
roast in the Crockpot
200
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,301
and I have some great
entertainment lined up.
201
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,737
I have a... I have a tape
202
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,939
that I think you're
going to like.
203
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,875
Road Runner?
Terminator? Stooges?
204
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,877
Even better.
205
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:37,401
(♪ tune of "Deck the Halls")
206
00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:44,220
Do you recognize the little boy?
207
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,288
It's you. That's me,
yes! That's me at three!
208
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,092
My mother has 17
years of me growing up
209
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:54,430
and she put them all
on 12 eight-hour tapes.
210
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:57,255
I have practically my
whole life here for you to see.
211
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,675
Mom, can I have some ice cream?
212
00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:09,400
For breakfast? Please?
I'm really itching.
213
00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,105
Tell no one.
214
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,521
Hi, Dad. Feel better?
215
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:20,322
Kind of.
216
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,458
Hi, honey. Is this the
jacket you wanted?
217
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,683
Ohh! (Jill laughs)
218
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:29,866
I guess I should kick you out
of the house more often, huh?
219
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,601
If I ever say it's hard living
with you, just say one word.
220
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,192
Al!
221
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,775
It's that bad, huh?
222
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:42,812
His mother recorded his
whole life on videotape.
223
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:44,313
Last night it was three hours of
224
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:46,749
"Muskie fishing
with Uncle Phil."
225
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,250
Urgh.
226
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:49,719
Do you know that
in the seventh grade
227
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,721
he built a replica of the
Washington Monument
228
00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:52,989
with Popsicle sticks?
229
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,623
Well, lots of kids
do stuff like that.
230
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,815
It was life-sized!
231
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,430
Last night it was
"Al: The Early Years."
232
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,932
Tonight...
233
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,568
"Puberty."
234
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:09,138
"Starring Al."
235
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:12,575
Poor baby. You look exhausted.
236
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:16,079
(sighs) I don't think
I've slept for 20 minutes.
237
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,214
You've never heard
snoring like that.
238
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,917
Wanna bet?
239
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,384
I don't snore.
240
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,676
Then you got a
propeller up your nose.
241
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:30,693
He says he doesn't
snore either. I got proof.
242
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:34,063
I wasn't sleeping
anyway, so I taped him.
243
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,866
You taped him? Yeah.
244
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,702
That is so weird.
245
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:42,739
I think it's time for you
to move into a hotel.
246
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,340
I'll join you there.
247
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:47,276
I'll go to the Barkley.
Meet me there.
248
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,779
OK. I'll check with Wilson
and see if he can stay tonight.
249
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,380
Wilson? Yeah.
250
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:53,616
He's coming over to stay with
Mark while I go to the drugstore. Bye.
251
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,173
Bye.
252
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,821
We're pretty darn
excited here at Tool Time.
253
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:01,390
To wrap up Auto Week, I've invited
some very special guests here.
254
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:04,093
We caught 'em at Michigan
International Speedway
255
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,928
trying out a new
motor for their racecar.
256
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,330
Please welcome the superstar
father-son racing team of
257
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:10,199
Mario and Michael Andretti.
258
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,190
(sound of car engine)
259
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,846
Come on, fellas.
260
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,547
Thank you.
261
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:28,017
Why don't you guys take a
seat? Let's talk about racing.
262
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:31,520
Man and machine. Man and
machine - the ultimate relationship.
263
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:34,957
'Course, not as important as
the father-and-son relationship.
264
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,081
Or the sucking-up-to-the-guests
relationship.
265
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:40,863
Let's talk about
racecars for a minute.
266
00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:43,632
This is what every man
dreams about at night.
267
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:44,967
It's what I dream about, Tim.
268
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,958
That blows that theory.
269
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:50,773
Tell me, Mario, what's
the toughest thing
270
00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:53,542
about taking a racecar around
a track at 180 miles an hour?
271
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,878
Adjusting the radio.
272
00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:58,369
(Al laughs/snorts)
273
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:04,187
That's a good one,
Mario. You know, I've read
274
00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:06,455
that the smell of
the tires can tell you
275
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,858
if you're pushing
your car too hard.
276
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:10,860
Al, I think maybe you
should let the guests talk.
277
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,962
But, Tim, Al is right.
278
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:16,833
Thank you, Michael.
Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm.
279
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:19,335
Well, we all know
about the smell thing.
280
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,937
What about the hearing
thing, Al? You know about that?
281
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:24,140
Go ahead, Michael. Tell
him about the hearing thing.
282
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:26,442
What hearing thing?
283
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:29,245
You know, when you
listen to the hum of the motor
284
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,513
so you know
precisely when to shift.
285
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:35,173
Excellent point, Tim.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
286
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,688
Well, anyway, I've got a
little test I got here today
287
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,023
that could be kinda fun.
288
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:44,927
I had our sound man, Klaus,
put together some engine sounds.
289
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:47,230
We're gonna play the engine sounds
back and see if these professionals
290
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:49,232
can tell us which engine's
which. You guys wanna play?
291
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:51,300
Sure. Let's do it. We're ready.
292
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:55,004
You're not playing, Al. Take
your hands off the guests.
293
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,106
OK, Klaus, if you
will, that first engine.
294
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,175
(engine sound)
295
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:02,611
Anybody? That'd be a
Ford five-liter V-eight.
296
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,835
Right on the money, yeah.
297
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,586
Well, let's see if daddy-o
here is as smart as his boy.
298
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:13,022
All right, Mario, it's your
chance. Klaus, second motor.
299
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:15,925
(engine sound)
300
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:19,095
Two-liter Alpha
Romeo Spider engine.
301
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:22,164
Bull's-eye. Bull's-eye!
Unbelievable.
302
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:25,634
Bravo. You know,
for a moment there,
303
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,636
I thought it was
the three-liter.
304
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:30,439
Actually, so did I.
Hey, you're pretty good.
305
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:34,977
As a matter of fact, I wouldn't
mind having you on my pit crew.
306
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:38,014
Hey, what about me?
307
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:41,205
I wouldn't mind having you
on Danny Sullivan's pit crew.
308
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,078
Another good one, Mario.
309
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:51,727
Al, the hand thing. OK.
310
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:54,696
Well, since Al sounds
like he knows so much,
311
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,934
why don't we invite Al to play
this last and final round, all right?
312
00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,403
Yeah.
313
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:03,940
My pleasure. OK. Klaus,
that third engine, please.
314
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,896
(snoring)
315
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:18,720
I don't know what that
is. Sounds pretty rough.
316
00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:22,992
Yes. Sounds like there's an
obstruction in the carburetor.
317
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:26,628
Well, you're both close.
318
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:29,287
That's Al snoring. I
taped that last night.
319
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,393
Honey, I'm home!
320
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,641
Al, why did you
take off so early?
321
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,710
The Andrettis stuck around
to say goodbye to you.
322
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:46,371
I had to come home, Tim.
Dinner does not make itself.
323
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:55,124
Al, I hope you're not upset,
but I was thinking, um...
324
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,582
it might be a good idea if I skipped
dinner and just went to a hotel.
325
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:04,367
Fine. I think that
is a very good idea.
326
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:07,269
Are you upset about something?
327
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:09,271
You just embarrassed
me in front of two people
328
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:11,673
that I happen to most idolize.
329
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,565
Me and who else?
330
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:17,513
Is this about the snoring gag?
331
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,947
The crowd loved
it. It was real funny.
332
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,916
Tim, it's very difficult
to go through life
333
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:24,520
with a deviated septum.
334
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,788
It could be worse. You
could be working at the circus
335
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:30,559
as "Al, the Donkey Boy."
336
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:33,295
Tim, I... I opened
up my life to you
337
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:35,197
and you used that to hurt me.
338
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,266
The whole reason I wanted
you to come over here
339
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,701
was so we could get to know
each other better as people,
340
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,138
and I thought maybe that
would make us better friends.
341
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:44,995
And you don't think
that happened?
342
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,444
All right, let's eat the dinner.
343
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:49,878
Let's eat dinner. Come on.
344
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,048
No. No, thank you.
345
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:55,684
I think that... that
you should leave.
346
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,854
No, I want to see more of your home
movies. Al, what are you doing? Come on.
347
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:01,457
Where are you
going with the bags?
348
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:04,593
What are you putting
them out here for? Al... Oh...
349
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,028
Right.
350
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:07,996
(knocks) Come on, let me in.
351
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:10,566
Go away, Tim. Al,
you can't end it like this.
352
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,401
We've had a relationship
for three years.
353
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,592
It's over between us.
354
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:24,580
Al, open the door. No!
355
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:27,084
You should never have made
that recording of me in bed.
356
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:32,521
Wait, wait, wait. You got this
all wrong. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
357
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,990
Cynthia. Cynthia. Hello?
358
00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:37,759
The reason I'm staying here is
'cause one of my kids has chickenpox
359
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:38,961
and I haven't had it.
360
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:40,596
Oh, you're married? Yes.
361
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,165
To a woman? Yes.
362
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:45,267
Cut it out. This has
nothing to do with him and I.
363
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,902
He's not attracted to me or men.
364
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,670
As a matter of fact, it's
not my place to say it,
365
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,973
but he's attracted to you.
366
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:53,041
Then why does he
keep rejecting me?
367
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:55,844
I really shouldn't be saying this,
but it's because he respects you
368
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:58,814
and he wants to get to
know you better. Really?
369
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:01,917
Al is a tremendously
sensitive man.
370
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:06,555
And underneath all that
flannel is a really big heart.
371
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,819
Would you help
me out for a minute?
372
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,661
(knocking) Go away, Tim.
373
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,685
(Cynthia) Al, it's me.
374
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,471
Aha!
375
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,174
I was opening the door
for Cynthia, not for you.
376
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:29,111
Al, Tim said some really
sweet things about you.
377
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:31,447
And I didn't even tell her all of
'em. Remember that time at work?
378
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,849
We had the lathe going.
I got my tie in it. Tim.
379
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:36,018
No thought of his safety,
yanks me out, saves my life.
380
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,687
And the router, the router. We had
a router going. The safety broke...
381
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,122
Tim... He goes over the table.
382
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,658
He saves my life pulling
the plug out. Really?
383
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,627
And there's more. Do
you remember the time
384
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:46,462
you jumped in front of
that speeding semitruck...
385
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:49,532
Tim... and saved
the elderly nun?
386
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:52,668
You did?
387
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:56,227
Cynthia, the story
about the nun is nothing...
388
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,963
that I usually talk about.
389
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:07,550
And he wouldn't
because he's so modest.
390
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:09,685
I'm sure he doesn't
want me to tell you this,
391
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,154
but without Al, I
couldn't do Tool Time.
392
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,856
Well, I could,
but it'd be tough.
393
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,348
Tool Time is your show?
394
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:21,785
Tool Time is our show.
395
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,667
Thanks, Tim.
396
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:27,369
Well, I guess I should be going.
397
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,993
Would you like
to stay for dinner?
398
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:38,514
Would you like
to stay for dinner?
399
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:42,784
That would be lovely. I'll get
the cake I made for dessert.
400
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:45,387
Great.
401
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,022
Right!
402
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:49,525
I'm sorry. Was that
router bit pushing it?
403
00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:51,993
Oh, no, no, that
was a nice touch.
404
00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:54,996
The nun was pushing it. Yeah.
405
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:57,799
Anything I can do to help. I
think I'm gonna get outta here.
406
00:20:57,823 --> 00:21:01,403
Oh, well, listen, you
can stay the night.
407
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,606
I think, in the interest
of our friendship,
408
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:06,174
I better skedaddle, all right?
409
00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:08,477
You two have a good
time and enjoy your dinner.
410
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:10,434
We will.
411
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,807
(♪ country)
412
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,656
(Al) ♪ Now join
hands, circle to the left
413
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,191
♪ Go round the ring,
just circle to the left
414
00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:28,697
♪ And do-si-do, go to the right
Spin around with all your might
415
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:30,399
I got chicken nice and hot
416
00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:33,023
♪ And home movies
you'll like a lot ♪
417
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:42,311
I'm so glad Mark is finally
better. I'm just exhausted.
418
00:21:42,335 --> 00:21:44,346
In the hotel room,
419
00:21:44,370 --> 00:21:46,782
the bed was like
sleeping on a bag of rocks.
420
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,785
And the room was
so small, wasn't it?
421
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,287
Small?
422
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:55,591
So small the mice
were hunchbacked.
423
00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:58,226
It was so small, I put
my key in the door,
424
00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:01,397
it went through the window.
425
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:04,600
So small, all you could
order was condensed milk.
426
00:22:04,624 --> 00:22:07,369
I had a folding toothbrush.
427
00:22:07,393 --> 00:22:09,605
It was so small, there
was no room for complaints.
428
00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:12,095
But seriously, Tim.
429
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:17,313
We better go upstairs
before we go to sleep.
430
00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:19,269
(Tim groans)
431
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,285
Help me up.
432
00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:26,254
Help me first.
433
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:28,890
OK, we'll help each
other on "three."
434
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:30,826
One. Mm.
435
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,661
Two. Mm.
436
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,251
Three.
437
00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:38,823
Did you get up?
438
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:43,639
No. Did you?
Let's just stay here.
439
00:22:43,663 --> 00:22:45,607
Mm.
440
00:22:45,631 --> 00:22:50,033
It's much better kissing you.
Al's beard was so scratchy.
441
00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:54,405
At least you shave.
442
00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:58,275
(Tim snores)
443
00:23:04,250 --> 00:23:07,229
Al, as you know, it's Auto
Week here on Tool Time.
444
00:23:07,253 --> 00:23:10,399
And we're celebrating
our salute... (squelch)
445
00:23:10,423 --> 00:23:12,534
to lubricants. That's right.
446
00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:15,371
Transmission fluid,
grease, oil, gunk.
447
00:23:15,395 --> 00:23:17,473
(barks)
448
00:23:17,497 --> 00:23:20,409
Al, do you suppose
if Ricky Ricardo,
449
00:23:20,433 --> 00:23:22,077
from the old Lucy show, had oil,
450
00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:25,102
he would have called
it a "babaloobricant"?
451
00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:28,839
They're getting
worse, Tim. Yeah.
451
00:23:29,305 --> 00:24:29,548
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