1
00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:04,414
With just the tip of your brush.
2
00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:06,583
That way, you'll end
up with a beautiful finish,
3
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,785
just like on this
American walnut cabinet.
4
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:12,189
Tim, it's not American
walnut, it's English walnut.
5
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:14,924
Wrong-o, Al. That's
American walnut.
6
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:16,960
I don't think so, Tim.
7
00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:18,761
Pardon me.
8
00:00:18,785 --> 00:00:20,519
(sniffs)
9
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:25,168
English walnut.
10
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,726
(sniffs)
11
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,696
American bearded nut.
12
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,646
I've trained myself
to distinguish wood
13
00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,648
not only by sight and feel,
14
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:40,317
but also by smell.
15
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:44,221
And smelling wood must come
in real handy at parties, huh?
16
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,890
As a matter of
fact, Tim, it does.
17
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:49,159
If you're a beaver.
18
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:52,162
If you were lost in the forest
in the middle of the night,
19
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,997
you'd be grateful
for this talent,
20
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:56,299
because you could sniff
your way back to safety.
21
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:58,868
Or you can buy a cellular phone.
22
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,238
What's with you, anyway?
23
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:04,241
Well, Tim, all I can say
is if push came to shove,
24
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:07,577
I believe I could
identify wood blindfolded.
25
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:08,912
Well...
26
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,914
maybe the audience
would like to see
27
00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:13,483
a little demonstration of
Al's wood-sniffing skills, huh?
28
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:14,706
(all) Yeah!
29
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:21,191
OK, then, on the next Tool Time,
30
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:25,562
we'll put Al "Nostrils"
Borland to the test.
31
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,597
For now, the Tool
Time tip of the day...
32
00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:30,600
don't inhale the varnish
and definitely don't drink it.
33
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:34,137
It'd be a sad end,
but a beautiful finish.
34
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:36,528
Ha-ha-ha-ha. See you next time.
35
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:44,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
36
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,437
Well, what do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
37
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:56,553
This is perfect.
38
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,988
This is how we can
get the McGurns.
39
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,590
The McGurn boys are poopheads.
40
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,192
What happened to you?
41
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:04,528
They got mad that you
threw mud balls at 'em,
42
00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:06,663
so they made me into "Mud Man."
43
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,797
Don't worry.
44
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,466
We're gonna get 'em back good.
45
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:10,634
Look at this.
46
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:11,868
What is it?
47
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:14,337
It's a catapult.
Look at the picture.
48
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:17,541
In Middle Ages, when you
wanted to storm an enemy's castle,
49
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,543
you'd get and dead
and diseased horse
50
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:22,033
and fling it over
the castle walls.
51
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:26,349
We don't have a dead horse.
52
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:30,975
Hey, maybe we can
get Mrs. Bauscher's dog.
53
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,890
He's not dead.
54
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:36,959
Well, almost.
55
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:39,951
We just need
something that stinks.
56
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:45,602
I don't stink.
57
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,237
Garbage.
58
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,239
We could build
one of those things
59
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,575
and fling it into the
back of McGurns' yard.
60
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:54,344
All right. Yes!
61
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:57,947
Oh, no. What are you doing now?
62
00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:01,618
I souped up the
weed whacker, baby.
63
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:03,453
I thought you bought that one
64
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,788
'cause it was the most
powerful one in the store.
65
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,957
Now it's the most
powerful one on the planet.
66
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,959
I put a little
mini-turbo in here.
67
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,295
I think I can get this 2-cycle
motor up to 33,000 RPMs.
68
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:15,287
Just call me RoboWhacker.
69
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:19,636
Excuse me, Mr. Whacker. Huh?
70
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,705
There are no weeds in November.
71
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:24,207
I know that. I'm just
gonna do a little trial spin
72
00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:26,075
before I put it to
sleep for winter.
73
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,500
(doorbell rings)
74
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,452
Karen! Dave! Dave and
Karen, happy couple.
75
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:36,986
Hi. Whoops.
76
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,988
You want some
coffee or something?
77
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,324
Yes. Yes. Where's Tim?
78
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:44,661
Oh, he's outside trying some
new weed whacker thing.
79
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:47,786
(weed whacker buzzing)
80
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:58,608
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Ha-ha-ha.
81
00:04:58,632 --> 00:04:59,864
Whoo!
82
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,183
Now, that's whacki"
some weeds. Dave!
83
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,185
Hey, Tim. How you doin', buddy?
84
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:10,186
Nice slacks.
85
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,388
Karen.
86
00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:13,189
Nice legs, Chicken Little.
87
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:14,524
Thanks, Mouth Big.
88
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,025
What are you guys
doing over here?
89
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,662
We're going to
the opera tonight.
90
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,664
Aah!
91
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,666
Jill, I need to borrow
your opera glasses.
92
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,668
OK. Which one are you gonna see?
93
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,969
La Boheme.
94
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,171
La Boheme?
95
00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:29,739
Yeah, La Boheme.
96
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:30,940
The Bohemian.
97
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:33,209
It's a very romantic opera.
98
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:35,845
But they're a very romantic
couple, just as I knew they would be
99
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,580
when I first set them up.
100
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:41,451
Hey, Tim, why don't you
guys come and join us tonight?
101
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:45,422
Dandy idea, Dave,
but I'm married now.
102
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:48,425
You only have to go through
that opera hell when you're dating.
103
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:51,328
OK. Mr. Cynic.
104
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,162
Goes both way, Kar-Kar.
105
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,331
You're dating.
106
00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:56,399
You pretend you like
football, don't you?
107
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:59,068
It just so happens
that I really like football.
108
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:02,238
Just last weekend, we curled up on
the couch and watched a whole game.
109
00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:05,241
Really? Who played? Don't say
anything. Who played the game?
110
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:08,010
It was that team that
has the animal name,
111
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:11,448
and they were playing opposite
that team with the quarterback
112
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,783
with the really long hair
and the high cheekbones.
113
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,318
Maraschino. Marino.
114
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:17,687
Marinovich. Right. Yeah.
115
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,356
Very hunky guy. Very hunky.
116
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:21,358
You know what I
like about football.
117
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:24,327
What's that? (both) The butts.
118
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,162
They get in that
circle and cuddle.
119
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,698
They huddle in the circle.
120
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,700
Tim, why don't you come show me
121
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,669
this new weed
whacker, all right?
122
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:33,792
Who else is cute?
123
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:39,509
What is this?
124
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,745
You never seen a
professional football before?
125
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,079
(laughs)
126
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,981
Needs air.
127
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:48,518
Listen, Tim, um, I
need a favor from you.
128
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,586
Name it, buddy.
129
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:52,154
You and I had lunch
together yesterday.
130
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,323
I was at the Project
House all day.
131
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,325
Yeah, I know you were, but, um,
132
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:59,128
if Karen asks, you and I
had lunch together. Ohh...
133
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,830
It's a tiny favor, Tim.
134
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,832
It's not a tiny favor.
This is a major favor.
135
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,401
Karen is Jill's best friend.
136
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,403
I-I don't think I should
know about this.
137
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:09,005
All right, all right, all right.
138
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,608
I'm seeing someone else. I
don't want to hear about this.
139
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,476
She's very nice. I
don't want to know her.
140
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:14,977
She's tall, she's blond...
141
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,280
Come on, Dave, Dave, Dave...
142
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:19,282
I don't see what
the big deal is.
143
00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:21,284
I've only been dating
Karen for a month.
144
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:23,953
She'll think it's a big deal.
She's single and over 35.
145
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,823
Do you know what a
month is in ovarian years?
146
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,090
(door opens)
147
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,559
Dave, we gotta get going.
148
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,561
We don't want to
be late for that opera.
149
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,162
Be right there, honey.
150
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:34,997
(sighs) (door closes)
151
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:38,000
Tim, you gotta help me out.
I don't want to hurt Karen.
152
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,836
Then stop dating tall blondes.
153
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,371
Look, I gotta be
honest with you.
154
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:45,642
I already told her that I had
lunch with you yesterday,
155
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,243
so it may come up. What?
156
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,746
Look, Boxing Cat Grill, ham
and cheese on rye, extra mustard.
157
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,414
Dave, wait a minute. Dave, Dave.
158
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:58,888
Come here, come
here. David. Dave.
159
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,156
Wilson?
160
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,592
Hi-de-ho, neighbor.
161
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,293
What are you, over
there eavesdropping, huh?
162
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,796
Oh, heavens no.
163
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,198
Just giving myself
a little haircut.
164
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,935
You know, Wilson, I was
thinking about friends today.
165
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:14,838
You mean ol' two-timer Dave?
166
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,773
I thought you said
you weren't listening.
167
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,576
No, no, no, no, just
a few juicy tidbits
168
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,311
did waft over the fence.
169
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,413
He's put me in a
real awkward position.
170
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,916
Well, are you referring
to the ham and cheese,
171
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,853
the opera or the tall blonde?
172
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,855
"A few juicy tidbits," Wilson?
173
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:34,090
Sounds like you ended
up with the whole tid.
174
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,092
Well, you heard
the whole situation.
175
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,760
What do you do...
176
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:41,197
uh, defend your buddy or
hurt Karen with the truth?
177
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,099
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
178
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:47,704
Well, Tim, I'm reminded of
what Aristotle said about Plato.
179
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,740
Keep the lid on tight,
otherwise it'll all dry out.
180
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,697
That's what I tell Mark.
181
00:08:55,736 --> 00:09:00,349
No, no, no, no,
Tim, not Play-Doh.
182
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,785
Plato, the philosopher.
183
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:05,154
Oh, yeah, very introspective
guy. Wore the tunics.
184
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,156
He was a very nice
guy. Very nice guy.
185
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,658
Aristotle said,
186
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:12,829
"Plato is dear to me,
but dearer still is truth.
187
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:15,698
"Piety requires
us to honor truth
188
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,534
above our friends."
189
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,903
Yeah, so if it comes
up, I should tell the truth.
190
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,639
Well, Tim, there's no easy
answer. It's the age-old dilemma.
191
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,641
The high road or the low road,
192
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,643
the lady or the tiger,
193
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,645
door number one,
door number two.
194
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:29,979
(grunts) Yeah.
195
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:33,416
Firing squad, electric
chair. It's all the same to me.
196
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,152
Tim, you should say
goodbye. They're going.
197
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:38,655
Bye, you guys. Yeah, we
have to pick up Dave's suit.
198
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,657
He didn't get a chance
to get it yesterday
199
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,759
'cause you two guys
got together for lunch.
200
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,226
Yeah, right, lunch.
201
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,728
Let's go, honey.
202
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,397
So, Tim, did you like
the Boxing Cat Grill?
203
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,433
It's one of our favorite places.
204
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:51,434
Yeah.
205
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:52,969
Did you try the pea soup?
206
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:56,272
No, ham and cheese on rye.
207
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:59,642
Yeah. Well, it was fun.
Thanks again for lunch, Tim.
208
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,310
Hey, Dave... (Dave) Hmm?
209
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,080
Come to think of it,
remember who paid the bill?
210
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,605
I think you owe me
20 bucks, don't you?
211
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:13,912
(grunts) Oh-ho.
212
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,827
There you go.
213
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:19,896
Thanks. See ya.
214
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:20,897
Bye.
215
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,398
Thanks a lot, you guys.
216
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,233
See you later.
You're welcome. Bye.
217
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,234
Bye-bye.
218
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:26,903
Have fun at the opera.
219
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,571
Like that's humanly possible.
220
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:31,074
I'm gonna go change
out of these pants, honey.
221
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:33,076
Wait a minute. Not so fast.
222
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,078
You didn't have lunch
with Dave yesterday.
223
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:37,413
Yeah, I did. He just
covered his check.
224
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:40,149
You told me that you
were at the Project House
225
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,651
all day long.
226
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:45,054
Yeah, except for the part
where I had lunch with Dave.
227
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,789
But Dave works downtown.
That's like 20 miles away.
228
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:51,494
That's why we met halfway
at the Boxing Cat Grill.
229
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:54,797
What happened to the
lunch that I packed for you?
230
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:57,667
I took that with me.
231
00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:59,602
To the restaurant?
232
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:04,273
We couldn't get in, so
we had to eat in the car.
233
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:07,977
Then why did he give you the 20?
234
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:11,369
I sold him my sandwich.
235
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,585
There is something
fishy going on here.
236
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,921
Either you did something
wrong or Dave did.
237
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:21,457
Those are my only options?
238
00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:24,360
Is he seeing somebody
else? Don't lie to me.
239
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:25,895
Don't lie to you.
240
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,530
Look at me.
241
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:31,856
Look me in the eye and tell me
that he isn't seeing someone else.
242
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:35,738
Define "seeing."
243
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:38,607
Ohh, no! Oh, my...
244
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,609
I gotta call her
now. Don't call her.
245
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:43,112
This is none of your business.
Jill, hang the phone up.
246
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,782
Karen is my best friend. I set
the two of them up. I'm responsible.
247
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:48,284
I gotta tell her that jerk
is fooling around on her.
248
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,920
We don't know
if that's true. Is it?
249
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,989
No.
250
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,991
I know you. You're
covering for Dave.
251
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:57,060
When you say "no," you
really mean "yes," don't you?
252
00:11:57,084 --> 00:12:00,129
No. See?
253
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,131
So two noes make a yes?
254
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,132
Yeah.
255
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,734
Does that yes mean no? No.
256
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:05,968
What?
257
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,970
I gotta leave a
message on her machine.
258
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:09,972
Stay out of this,
please. Stay out of this.
259
00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:11,974
OK, look, I will
stay out of this
260
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,944
if you call Dave and tell him that
he's gotta come clean with Karen.
261
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:19,315
I got a better idea.
Let's split the 20.
262
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:20,950
Tim...
263
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:23,352
All right, all right.
Take the whole thing.
264
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,354
You gotta call him.
265
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:28,290
Jill, you don't understand. I
can't call him and talk about this.
266
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:30,793
Men do not call each other
and talk about relationships.
267
00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:32,028
Well, they talk about sex.
268
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:35,053
So? That has nothing
to do with relationships.
269
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:40,870
Except in ours.
270
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:44,095
Until now.
271
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,616
Youch. What do I
owe you for this?
272
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,152
Hey, after the way you covered
for me with Karen yesterday,
273
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,042
that's on me.
274
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,524
Dave, let's talk about
yesterday for a minute.
275
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,460
Hey, keep the 20.
It was a good touch.
276
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:07,196
You really put me
on the spot, Dave.
277
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,898
I know. I'm sorry, man.
278
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,733
Hey, but you handled it great.
279
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,568
Karen did not suspect a thing.
280
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:15,872
Let me tell you something
about Karen and I. Hi, honey.
281
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,373
Hi. Look who's here.
282
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,209
Hi, Jill. How you
doin'? Fine. Thanks.
283
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,211
Dave brought the
right distributor,
284
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,213
so now maybe we can
time this thing correctly.
285
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:28,717
Well, timing's
everything, isn't it, Dave?
286
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:33,422
You guys want me to make you some
sandwiches? Ham and cheese, perhaps?
287
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:36,447
That'd be great. And get
some coffee for us, too.
288
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,755
I'll make the coffee,
though. I'll do it.
289
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,205
She knows?
290
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,573
No.
291
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:52,741
You told her.
292
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,677
No, I didn't.
293
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,947
And she's told Karen already,
hasn't she? I told her not to tell Karen.
294
00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,916
Great.
295
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,919
Now, is Jill gonna act
weird every time I see her?
296
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:05,922
I don't think you'll be
seeing her that much.
297
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,556
That's a joke, Dave.
298
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,292
Why did you tell her, Tim?
299
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:11,294
She's my wife. I have
a hard time lying to her.
300
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:13,918
She made me look her in the eye.
301
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:18,701
Now I have to tell Karen,
because if I don't, Jill will.
302
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:21,204
Probably. You have
sunk me with Karen.
303
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:23,206
No, Dave, you sunk
yourself with Karen.
304
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:26,042
You torpedoed this whole
thing and tried to drag me into it.
305
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,544
Don't get all mad...
Thanks for the lecture, Tim.
306
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,546
Oh, come on, Dave.
Wait, one more question.
307
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:34,116
Is this the high-pull model
with the dual points on there?
308
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:37,308
Come on, Dave. Dave, lighten up.
309
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,858
All right, thanks.
310
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:42,959
No luck?
311
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,961
I cannot find a
distributor anywhere.
312
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,963
Of course, Dave's
got the one I want,
313
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,832
but he hates me now, so
I won't be getting that one.
314
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,834
That's what I get
for being honest.
315
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:54,470
You did the right thing, honey.
316
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:57,306
Try to remember that when
you're pushing my hot rod up I-75.
317
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,141
"Honey, we gotta
pass this truck."
318
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:01,077
"I'm pushing as hard as I can."
319
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:03,812
(rings)
320
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,581
Hello.
321
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,616
Hi, Dave.
322
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,107
Uh-huh.
323
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:13,589
Yeah.
324
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,958
She did, yeah.
325
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:18,460
What? That's amazing.
326
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,828
Well, not amazing.
327
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:23,199
I'm not happy about it,
but no hard feelings, no.
328
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,601
Oh, Dave, Dave, Dave,
Dave, before you go,
329
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,669
could I have that
distributor back?
330
00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:29,205
'Cause I re...
331
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:30,428
Dave?
332
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:33,842
Well? What happened?
333
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,344
Karen dumped Dave.
334
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,746
Tsk. Well, sure, after
the blonde. No, no, no, no.
335
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,082
He didn't even tell
her about the blonde.
336
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,584
She just said she didn't
want to see him anymore.
337
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,453
Really? Good for her.
338
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,455
Well, I guess her
instincts were right.
339
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:47,856
Instincts?
340
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,092
Yeah, well, she mentioned
that there were some problems.
341
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,094
You know, Dave wasn't
really there for her.
342
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:55,097
Wasn't there for her? He
went to the opera with her.
343
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,099
How much more
"there" can a guy be?
344
00:15:57,123 --> 00:16:00,369
Not that kind of there.
Emotionally present.
345
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,004
They weren't connecting.
346
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:04,206
She was thinking about
breaking up with him last week.
347
00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:06,542
Wait a minute.
348
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,544
You knew she was
gonna break up with him?
349
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:12,248
No, I knew that she was thinking
about it. Why didn't you tell me that?
350
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:15,051
I didn't know she was
gonna do it for sure.
351
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:17,053
Besides, I promised
her I wouldn't.
352
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:19,555
Well, I promised Dave I
wouldn't tell you about the blonde.
353
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:22,624
It's not my fault that
you can't keep a secret.
354
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,660
I can keep a secret.
355
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:28,397
This wasn't the kind of secret
that you're supposed to keep.
356
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,567
Hold it a minute.
Back the truck up.
357
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,836
There's some secrets that
you're supposed to keep
358
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,838
and other secrets you're
not supposed to keep?
359
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:36,973
Yeah.
360
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:40,076
Is there a book on
this somewhere?
361
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,078
Tell you what. If
somebody tells you a secret
362
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,380
and you're not sure
what kind it is, tell it to me,
363
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,715
and then I'll tell you whether
you should keep it or not.
364
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,772
Arr!
365
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:51,954
If you remember the last show,
366
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:54,090
we promised a
wood-sniffing demonstration
367
00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:58,716
by our own Al "Dare
To Be Dull" Borland.
368
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,365
Blindfold in place,
Al? Yes, it is, Tim.
369
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:04,433
OK, step in position there.
370
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,268
Ready? Yes.
371
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:07,569
Aim, fire!
372
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:09,271
Ahh! Ha-ha-ha.
373
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:12,108
Just checking if
you're breathing, Al.
374
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,243
That's all I'm doing.
375
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:15,677
As you can see,
376
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,679
I've got our three
samples of wood
377
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,681
laid out on the workbench.
378
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,683
I will hand them
to Al one at a time,
379
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,686
and he claims he can tell us what
type of wood it is just by smelling it.
380
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,255
We shall see.
381
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:29,547
Al Borland, name that wood.
382
00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:32,594
(sniffs)
383
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:36,087
Tim, that's hickory.
384
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:45,096
Can you believe it,
ladies? This man's single.
385
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,310
Second sample.
386
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,769
Al Borland, name that wood.
387
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:55,051
(sniffs)
388
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:56,052
Cedar. Ha!
389
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,175
Wait.
390
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,956
(sniffs)
391
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:03,181
Western Red Cedar.
392
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,001
You almost messed
that one up, Al.
393
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:15,693
Well, I'm fighting
off a cold, Tim.
394
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:19,275
Well, this next sample...
395
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,710
(audience laughs)
396
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:24,447
should be a little bit
more difficult to discern, Al.
397
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:27,149
Might have to take a
big ol' whiff of this thing
398
00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:29,151
to figure out what it is.
399
00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:32,088
Well, I'm up to
the challenge, Tim.
400
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,912
I certainly hope so, Al.
401
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:40,729
Al Borland, name that wood.
402
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,164
(chuckles)
403
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:43,865
(sniffs)
404
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:45,934
Ohh!
405
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,570
(coughs)
406
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:52,475
Well, it's a hardwood
from the Pacific Northwest,
407
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,898
and... ugh.
408
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,814
Uh... well, it's, uh...
409
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:01,683
Uh, this particular piece
seems to have some...
410
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,641
some type of a fungus.
411
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:10,292
Uh... well, uh, uh...
412
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:14,463
Ugh. Let me try this again.
413
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,266
(hyperventilates)
414
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:18,367
(sniffs)
415
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:19,923
Paagh! Ohh!
416
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:28,344
Here comes Mom.
417
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,688
(Randy) Come on,
cover up the catapult.
418
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:39,221
What's all this noise out here?
419
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:41,757
Uh, we were just
trying to build a fort.
420
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:45,594
Did your dad tell
you you could do this?
421
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,552
Yeah, it was his idea.
422
00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:59,107
Clean it up before you come in.
423
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,851
No problem. (Brad) OK.
424
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:03,867
Come on.
425
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:09,585
Hi.
426
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:10,941
Hi.
427
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,523
I was thinking about
Karen and Dave.
428
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:17,059
Uhh. Not that again.
429
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,861
Yeah. On the way home
tonight, driving the car,
430
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,952
I started to thinking...
431
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:26,101
you owe me an apology.
432
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,836
Get out of here.
433
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:29,938
No. I was more honest about Dave
434
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,940
than you were about Karen,
435
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,442
so you apologize.
436
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:35,043
Apologize? Forget it.
437
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,878
We're always
supposed to apologize
438
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,047
when we do something
wrong, so say you're sorry.
439
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,317
(sighs) Will that
make you feel better?
440
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:43,619
Yes.
441
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:46,021
OK, I'm sorry.
442
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,889
Oh, is that it?
443
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,891
(imitates her) "OK, I'm sorry."
444
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:53,762
I'm very, very sorry.
445
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,564
That's pathetic.
446
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:58,256
You'd never let me get
away with an apology like that.
447
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,704
OK.
448
00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:03,008
Now what?
449
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,680
(Southern accent) Tim...
450
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,415
Oh, jeez.
451
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:17,386
I wronged you terribly.
452
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:20,756
I'm not fit to carry
the name "Taylor."
453
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,358
From hence forward on,
454
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:26,262
I shall be known only
as Jill, the Wrong One.
455
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,731
Please, please, please,
please forgive me.
456
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:30,065
(makes kissing noises)
457
00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:32,067
(normal voice) Hey,
what are you doing?
458
00:21:32,091 --> 00:21:34,069
(Southern accent)
Say it like you mean it.
459
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:37,939
(laughs) No, because
I was not wrong.
460
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:40,108
At least 'pologize
for your lousy accent.
461
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:43,512
(laughs) Yours was worse.
(normal voice) Was not.
462
00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:44,513
Was too. Was not.
463
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:46,448
Was too. All right.
464
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:47,516
(laughs)
465
00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:49,518
Now I must spray
you into submission.
466
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:52,510
Don't even think
about it. It's diet, honey.
467
00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:58,661
The McGurn boys
are in their backyard.
468
00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:00,195
OK, Brad, hurry up.
469
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:01,863
All ready.
470
00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:04,655
OK, everybody just stand clear.
471
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:09,705
Hey, McGurns.
472
00:22:09,729 --> 00:22:11,774
(boy) Yeah? (boy #2) What?
473
00:22:11,798 --> 00:22:13,263
Eat garbage.
474
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:18,936
(boy) Ohh! That's garbage!
You're in big trouble.
475
00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:22,418
(Jill laughs)
476
00:22:22,442 --> 00:22:23,919
Just say you're sorry. No!
477
00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:26,121
Just say you're
sorry one time. No.
478
00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:27,656
Hey, what's this?
479
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,215
I don't know. They said
you knew about it. Oh-ho.
480
00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:36,632
It's so medieval
looking. Ar-ar-ar.
481
00:22:36,656 --> 00:22:38,801
(Southern accent) You
can run, but you can't hide.
482
00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:40,469
I know where you live.
483
00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:41,970
(boy) Hey, Taylors.
(boy #2) Hey, Tim.
484
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:43,505
(normal voice) What do you want?
485
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,028
(boys) Eat this!
486
00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,348
Does that yes mean no? No.
487
00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:55,016
What? I gotta call her.
I'll just leave a message...
488
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,285
Jill, come on, stay out of this.
489
00:22:57,309 --> 00:22:59,469
OK, look. (drops phone)
490
00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:08,731
(no audio)
491
00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:11,467
Don't lie to me.
Don't lie to you.
492
00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:13,391
Look me in the eye...
492
00:23:14,305 --> 00:24:14,483
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