1
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:04,781
What's the first thing
we need to do? Al?
2
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:06,183
Find a stud, Tim.
3
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:08,685
And I think we've come to
the right place, haven't we?
4
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:11,855
Ha-ha-ha-ha. Al, do
you recognize this?
5
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:14,157
Your razor, Tim?
6
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:17,027
No. Actually, it's your razor,
Al. I picked it up backstage.
7
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:19,896
Electric razor can
double as a stud finder.
8
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,200
(razor runs)
9
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,304
No stud there.
10
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:30,507
Actually, Al's electric
razor can be a stud finder.
11
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,532
If you listen, the sound of it
changes the closer you get to a stud.
12
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,702
(finds stud)
13
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:43,653
My mother gave
me that razor, Tim.
14
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:47,057
Why? Did she go back to blades?
15
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:50,394
This razor can not only
keep Al's mother whisker-free,
16
00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:53,130
it's a handy way to find
studs around the house.
17
00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:55,698
Well, Tim, I also have
a helpful household hint.
18
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,867
I'm going to show the audience
19
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,969
something you don't
ordinarily do with a potato.
20
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:03,113
You might wanna keep the
kids away from the TV set. Tim.
21
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,944
Here's a safe way to take a
broken bulb from its socket.
22
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:11,781
You simply take a cut potato,
jam it into the socket, twist...
23
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:14,518
And in minutes, you have
thousands of curly fries...
24
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:16,753
Tim, Tim, Tim...
25
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,756
I doubted the razor,
but I gave it a chance.
26
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,020
Please do not mock my potato.
27
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:27,130
You say potato, I
say stupid. Ha-ha-ha.
28
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:28,498
Tim, this'll work.
29
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:31,134
You twist and pull the broken
bulb right out of the socket.
30
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:32,669
But first, you must...
31
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:33,992
Jam it in the light.
32
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,968
Unplug the lamp.
33
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:50,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
34
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:55,807
What do you think? Can
we put the kids in the middle?
35
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,959
Congratulations. You're now the
ping-pong champion in the Taylor house.
36
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,561
You let me win.
37
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,497
I didn't let you win. You got
that delicate, high, slow lob.
38
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,634
I lose concentration before it
hits the table. That's brilliant.
39
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:12,335
Where are all the mugs?
40
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,571
In the sink with
the dirty dishes.
41
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:17,274
Aw, shucks. I wanted
a cup of coffee.
42
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,742
Why don't you just wash one?
43
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:22,512
Mark, a man never
loads a dishwasher
44
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:25,182
till the sink is
completely filled.
45
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,184
And besides, I just
want some coffee,
46
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,519
and all I need there is
something with a handle,
47
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,743
and I think the moo-cow
creamer is gonna work.
48
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,581
Mmm.
49
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,462
That's good. That's good.
50
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:41,898
Hi, sweetie. Hi, honey.
51
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:45,168
Great news. Mr. Preston,
the Features editor,
52
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:48,071
loved the research that I did
on the weekend getaway story.
53
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,207
That's great.
54
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:52,409
He's gonna let me research
next month's cover story.
55
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:55,612
I get to work for a whole
'nother week. I am so excited.
56
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:58,615
That's great. The cover? You been
working a month, you're doing the cover?
57
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,250
Yes.
58
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:02,419
What are you gonna do, Tiger Stadium
moving? The new riverfront project?
59
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,975
Compost.
60
00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:08,791
You're not bringing
your work home, are ya?
61
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:12,495
No. It's industrial
compost. Hi, sweetie.
62
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:15,198
Could be the answer to
the big garbage problem.
63
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,900
Did you not notice the
dirty dishes in the sink?
64
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,269
I didn't notice those there.
65
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:20,870
But, Dad, you said...
66
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:21,904
Eat a grape.
67
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:25,007
I'm going downstairs.
68
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:27,031
What are you doing?
69
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,903
Moo!
70
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:36,419
Enjoying a cup of coffee.
71
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:40,790
You are sucking
coffee out of a cow.
72
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,593
That way, I don't
have to add milk.
73
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,596
Hmm. You are so pathetic.
74
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:50,400
Listen, I got to get this compost
research story done by Friday,
75
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:52,435
so I'm gonna need
all the help I can get.
76
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,237
You need to run this house.
77
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,861
Moo!
78
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,443
Not a problem.
79
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,679
I would feel a lot
better if you would say,
80
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,714
"I'll do the best I can."
81
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:08,518
You want to say I'll do the
best I can? Not a problem.
82
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:12,355
This is a list of all the things
you have to do tomorrow.
83
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:14,957
See, this is the dry-cleaning
slip. You gotta pick that up.
84
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,927
Then go to the grocery
store. Here's the list for that.
85
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:20,297
Oh, you gotta make
the boys' lunches.
86
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:23,300
Can you put in some
celery sticks or carrot sticks?
87
00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:25,802
Jill, they don't eat that stuff.
88
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,905
They just turn into vegetable
missiles in a food fight.
89
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:32,041
Honey, I'll be able to
relax and work a lot better
90
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:35,912
if I know that you're back here
doing everything the right way.
91
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:37,480
You mean your way?
92
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,016
That's what I
said, the right way.
93
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,885
Mom, we need our
pants for football practice.
94
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,689
Oh, no, I meant to
wash those this morning.
95
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,791
It's OK. I'll take care of
it. I'm running things now.
96
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,159
Guys, let's go wash those pants.
97
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,161
Tim, you know, this is really
a complicated deal here.
98
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,332
There's two loads.
There's a dark load.
99
00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:58,535
That needs cold water
and this darker-blue bleach.
100
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:01,170
And the white load needs
hot water and the white bleach.
101
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,440
And you can't forget to
add the fabric softener.
102
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:04,774
What time is practice?
103
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:05,930
15 minutes.
104
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,614
That load's done.
105
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:12,682
Thanks, Dad.
106
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,439
Thanks, Dad.
107
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,557
Tim, where are
the boys' lunches?
108
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,359
I only have two hands, OK?
109
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,627
I'll load the dishwasher,
then I'll make their lunches.
110
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,697
No, no. Honey, you have to make the
lunches and then load the dishwasher.
111
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,733
What is the difference?
(bus horn honks)
112
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,735
There's the bus.
That's the difference.
113
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,069
Oh, no.
114
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,904
Now they don't have any lunch.
115
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,240
Hold on, guys. I
got this covered.
116
00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,008
I'm buying lunch
today. Here's two bucks.
117
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,577
Buy something nutritious.
118
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:41,944
Yeah, right.
119
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,780
Yeah, go get some carrots
120
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,615
out of that vending
machine they have.
121
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:49,486
Dad, can I have $2 for Mark?
He's outside waiting for us.
122
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:52,310
Make sure he gets it. He will.
123
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:57,560
At least Mark won't spend
the money on junk food.
124
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,463
Dad, can I have a peanut butter
sandwich in my lunch today?
125
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,499
What are you doing here? I gave
your brothers your lunch money.
126
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,734
At least they didn't
beat him up for it.
127
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,636
You're gonna miss the bus.
128
00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:08,738
It's OK. Don't worry about it.
129
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:12,442
I will just give you a ride to school
on my way to the compost heap.
130
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:14,844
Try not to confuse
those two, hon.
131
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,280
Are we gonna make the
gingerbread house tonight?
132
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:20,817
Oh, right, the PTA bake sale.
133
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:25,722
Um, honey, I think we may have
to buy that at the bakery this year.
134
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:28,858
But you said you were
gonna make one with me.
135
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:32,829
I know I did. I'm really
sorry. I'm so busy this week.
136
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,398
Hey, I'll make you a
gingerbread house.
137
00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:37,199
Really?
138
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:39,268
Yeah, and not some
dinky little house.
139
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,937
We'll get a gingerbread
140
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,939
full-service truck and
auto service center.
141
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,340
Wow.
142
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,208
Darn right wow. Oh!
143
00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:48,611
Go get your coat.
144
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:52,415
Tim, honey, don't use the
blue sponge on the counter.
145
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:53,450
Huh?
146
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:55,318
The blue sponge
is for the dishes.
147
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,687
The green sponge
is for the counter.
148
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,589
What's the difference?
149
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:02,358
You're not supposed to use the same
sponge on the counter as the dishes.
150
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:04,527
So the blue sponge
is just for the sink?
151
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:05,595
No, not always.
152
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:08,064
When the blue sponge gets dirty,
153
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,132
it gets demoted from
the dishes to the counter.
154
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,969
The green sponge gets demoted
from the counter to the floor.
155
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,840
Then I pull a new out from here.
It might be blue, it might be yellow.
156
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,697
Oh! Oh! Oh!
157
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:23,513
Tim, are you gonna
be able to handle...
158
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,715
I'll be able to handle it.
'cause if you can't, I could just...
159
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:28,384
Let me do this my way, OK?
160
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,386
You know, Jill... I
think it's just about time
161
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:32,989
you saw how effective
my way can be.
162
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,991
Mark, shall we show
her what's in the garage?
163
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,693
Why?
164
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:37,961
Dad fixed the washer.
165
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,518
Aw, no!
166
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:46,903
What did you do to
my washing machine?!
167
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,160
Why is it on life support?
168
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,242
I improved it.
169
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:55,244
Unimprove it. Come on, honey.
170
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,412
It has lights.
171
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,247
Just for effect, OK?
172
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:02,385
I have revolutionized
the laundry-care system.
173
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,220
Now stay with me on this, OK?
174
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,823
You're watching TV. You're
watching a little football game...
175
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,825
I don't like football.
176
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:11,460
All right, you're
watching the op... era,
177
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,363
and it's third and goal, and
you hear the buzzer, baap!
178
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,600
Time to add the fabric softener,
you go, "Oh, you don't wanna leave."
179
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,242
You'll miss that fat
broad with the horns doing
180
00:09:19,266 --> 00:09:20,803
the high notes, spiking
the ball, all right?
181
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,304
You see what I've got here?
182
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:24,741
Bleach, detergent, fabric
softener on timers and tubes.
183
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:27,043
This adds it by itself
on a timed cycle.
184
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,078
It's about ready
to go right about...
185
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,369
(timer goes off)
186
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:44,928
I can't believe it. It
worked. It actually worked.
187
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:50,600
As you see, honey, I've got things
under control, so have a nice day.
188
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:53,102
It actually worked.
Have a nice day, hon.
189
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:57,540
And don't sound so shocked.
Mark, Mark. (whistles)
190
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,776
This morning, I
improved the washer.
191
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:03,012
This afternoon, I
improve the dryer.
192
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,213
How?
193
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:06,916
Oh, ho-ho-ho.
194
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:11,988
See this? Binford's 20-amp,
high-density electric motor.
195
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:16,025
Once I attach that to the
dryer, that'll spin so fast...
196
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:19,195
You know those
cowboys on your PJs?
197
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,519
They'll be throwing
up in their saddlebags.
198
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:24,433
Wow.
199
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,691
Arr-arr-arr-arr!
200
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:34,143
I just think we have
done sheet rock to death.
201
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:36,045
"Sheet rock to death."
202
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:39,782
Doesn't sound like you talking.
That sounds like Maureen Binford.
203
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,251
Well, she is the producer.
204
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,821
And I don't think she wants
to do a show on sheet rock.
205
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:48,557
I don't give a sheet rock
what she wants to do.
206
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:51,127
People, people, let's gather.
207
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,262
Maureen, there's
only two of us out here.
208
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:54,664
I think we're gathered.
209
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:58,234
Good. OK. Let's confab
about tomorrow's show.
210
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,803
All set. Tomorrow, we're
gonna do sheet rock installation.
211
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,706
Oh, Tim, we've done
sheet rock to death.
212
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,041
I was just telling Tim...
213
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,043
Shut up, Al.
214
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,879
You want to electrocute me
in a lamp again with a potato?
215
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,814
No, silly. We already did that.
216
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:15,351
But I do think we should devote the
show to more clever household hints.
217
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:20,422
I'm thinking... The
Bachelor Corner with Al.
218
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:21,924
Al?
219
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:26,395
Yeah, you know, how to
get spots out with club soda.
220
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:29,832
Or using vinegar and
water to clean windows.
221
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,368
That's a good one. Or
how to iron with wax paper.
222
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,637
Maureen, this is a man's show.
223
00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,673
We give man advice.
224
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:38,307
How to pull a nail
out of your foot.
225
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:43,046
What... What to do
with a severed finger.
226
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:45,915
Men don't wanna
know about ironing.
227
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,850
Well, Tim, a lot
of men are single.
228
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:51,353
Yes, they are. And wax paper
between the folds when you're ironing
229
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:55,457
really does give
you a nice pleat.
230
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:57,426
Thank you, Al.
231
00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:00,429
I'll remember that next time
we do Cross-dressing Day.
232
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:05,434
OK, well, I get the feeling
we're simpatico. Yes, no, maybe?
233
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,704
We'll do the sheet
rock installation.
234
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:10,807
No, we won't, Tim.
Need I remind you...
235
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:14,110
Producer! (laughs)
236
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,713
(mocking her) Annoying!
237
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,347
He is such a card.
238
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:21,651
Yes, he is, and he
needs to be dealt with.
239
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,758
Are you two through?
240
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,960
Oh, I almost
forgot. Jill called.
241
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,096
She needs you to pick up Randy.
242
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,965
She said something about
being up to her ears in compost.
243
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,029
Toodles. Oh, I never see that.
244
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:44,473
I gotta pick up Randy. Jill
was supposed to pick up Randy.
245
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:48,377
I'm doing a lot more than my
share around the house these days.
246
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:53,149
Well, Tim, marriage is
all about compromise,
247
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,483
give and take,
248
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,153
understanding each
other and sharing.
249
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,688
That was beautiful, Al.
250
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,881
Wanna hold hands
and sing "Feelings"?
251
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:07,496
I was just trying to help.
252
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,531
I don't need help on my marriage
253
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:11,533
from a guy who
hasn't been married.
254
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:13,435
You think I don't know
255
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,537
what it feels like to
be married to you?
256
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:16,839
Huh?
257
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:19,142
Sharing a workbench
for three long years
258
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:23,312
and never having you once
put the cap back on the epoxy.
259
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,748
And don't think
that I haven't noticed
260
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:29,451
that you squeeze the tube from
the middle instead of the end.
261
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,454
These are some of things
262
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,224
I have to take home
with me every night.
263
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:37,293
I don't think we should call
your segment "Bachelor Corner."
264
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,718
We should call it "The
Alone and Desperate Corner."
265
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:45,301
I really appreciate
this, Wilson.
266
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,603
My pleasure, good neighbor.
267
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:52,741
Always happy to help out
with a molasses emergency.
268
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:55,945
Jill's working extra hours, so I didn't
have a chance to get to the store.
269
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,114
Mm, so you're running
the house tonight?
270
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,683
I'm trying to, but she's
not making it any easier.
271
00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:03,152
Mm-hmm, mm-mm-mm.
272
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,821
She just can't stand
273
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:07,223
to let me do things the
way I want to do them,
274
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,792
because she just
won't deal with the fact
275
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:12,695
that my ways may be different,
but they get the job done.
276
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:16,665
Well, Tim, sometimes it's hard
for people to accept new ideas.
277
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,868
Not me. Thank you.
278
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:20,669
Well, you're a very special man,
279
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,371
quite like Galileo.
280
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,662
Yeah. Had his wine.
281
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:28,211
No, no, no. Tim...
282
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:31,513
I'm talking about the
17th-century Italian astronomer.
283
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,015
He was ridiculed
284
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:36,185
for teaching that the earth
revolves around the sun.
285
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,754
And he believed that?
286
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:42,024
Tim, the earth does
revolve around the sun.
287
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:45,661
Oh, yeah, yeah,
sure, yeah, it does.
288
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,730
It's just we're spinning,
so we don't notice it.
289
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:50,099
There you go, good neighbor.
What happened to him?
290
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:53,702
Well, he was threatened with torture
and forced to confess that he was wrong.
291
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,872
That's what Jill
would like to do to me,
292
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,706
but I'm not confessing anything,
293
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,541
'cause I'm not doing
anything wrong.
294
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,543
Tim, that's not the
point of the story.
295
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,680
I don't care. I'm gonna keep doing things
my way because we're getting things done.
296
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:05,781
Thanks a lot, Wilson.
297
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:09,340
Tim? Tim? Can we
talk about compromise?
298
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:12,554
Thanks.
299
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,556
What is the paint pan for?
300
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,026
I wanna make sure the walls of
the truck and auto service center
301
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:20,729
are big enough to
handle the big rigs.
302
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,065
Mom never uses paint pans.
303
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,134
Do I look like Mom?
304
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,925
On occasion.
305
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,774
Is the paint pan clean?
306
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:34,365
Of course. I scrubbed
it out with turpentine.
307
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:38,514
Dad, that's never
gonna fit in the oven.
308
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:41,617
It'll fit right in the
oven. I already...
309
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:45,454
Just tip it a little bit,
goes right in there.
310
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,224
Mom's gonna freak when she
sees the mess you're making.
311
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:51,294
Don't worry about it. This
is a self-cleaning oven.
312
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:53,896
Dad, these walls won't stay up.
313
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,032
Would you guys
work with me on this?
314
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:59,068
That's why I got the
caulking compound over here.
315
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:02,204
You can't use caulk. You
have to be able to eat it.
316
00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:04,240
We don't have to
worry about that.
317
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,976
We're just selling it.
Somebody else is eating it.
318
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,846
Wait, wait. Maybe caulk
would be a last resort.
319
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:13,983
Let's try to make
the icing work.
320
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:18,654
Go out to the garage, get me
some "C" clamps and duct tape.
321
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:21,023
You wrecked it, you wrecked it!
322
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:23,025
Way to go. Fiddling
around with the thing now!
323
00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:24,126
It was an accident.
324
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,527
You did it on purpose.
325
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,196
Get off me, you little flea!
326
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,331
Come on, let him up.
327
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,333
Dad, I can't find
the "C" clamps.
328
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,001
Whoa, something's burning.
329
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,491
No!
330
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,373
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
331
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,175
You OK?
332
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,676
Yeah. "C" clamps...
333
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:41,710
Help!
334
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,879
What's going on here?
335
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,515
Hey, hey, hey! Get
off of him right now!
336
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:49,918
He started it. He wrecked
my gingerbread house!
337
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:52,355
Boys, just go upstairs. Now!
338
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:54,245
Boy, you're home early.
339
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,927
What is happening here?
340
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:01,930
I spilled a little batter. The oven was
too hot, I think, when I put it in there.
341
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,299
You used a paint pan?
342
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,767
Yeah, trying to make those
walls big enough for the big rig...
343
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:09,938
Don't explain. We'll just scrape it out.
Maybe we can save some of the batter.
344
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,940
Good. That's it...
Where's my old spatula?
345
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,342
It's right over here.
346
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,843
It doesn't go over
here. It goes over here.
347
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,879
Not when I'm doing the
cooking. That's where it goes.
348
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:19,548
When you're home doing the
cooking, you put it where you want it.
349
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:23,519
When I'm home? Is
that what all this is about?
350
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,321
What?
351
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:28,790
So finally it comes out.
You don't want me to work.
352
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,493
Because I moved a spatula?
353
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:33,695
You resent the fact
that I am working.
354
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,631
I do not!
355
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:38,200
Then why don't you do one
thing the way I ask you to do it?
356
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,569
One? I've done everything
357
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,571
on your stupid
little list over here.
358
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:45,374
You screwed up everything
on my stupid little list over there!
359
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,975
I haven't screwed up everything.
360
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,519
Name one thing you
didn't screw up. Um...
361
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:53,682
Well?
362
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,418
Laundry?
363
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:58,454
Dad, the dryer's going crazy!
364
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:01,457
Hold on. I'll handle
this. You just...
365
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,759
Wow, this is great.
366
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,494
Come on, get off
of there, Randy.
367
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,263
Get him off.
Unplug it over there.
368
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,265
Aah! You do it.
369
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:10,933
Honey, it's just 220.
370
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,102
Be careful. Aah!
371
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,271
Here, just stop
the thing. Stop it.
372
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:17,005
All right, I got it.
373
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,375
Look, I got this rubber glove.
374
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:21,610
All right, I got...
Honey, honey.
375
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,402
All right. Aah! I got it!
376
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,015
Hey!
377
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:29,552
Wow. Cool.
378
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:33,522
I have friends who'd pay
good money to ride this.
379
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,391
Out.
380
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:38,594
Oh, man, everybody gets to
make money except for me.
381
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:42,931
Look at there.
Everything's all dry.
382
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,667
Maybe this is just a sign
383
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:48,704
that I'm not supposed
to be working.
384
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,939
What do you mean by that?
385
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:54,776
We're fighting about
spatulas, you're riding the dryer.
386
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,812
I don't know that it's worth it.
387
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,981
But you wanna work.
388
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:01,450
I wanna work, Tim, but I also
don't want the house to fall apart.
389
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:04,019
I see. It's always like that.
390
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:08,324
I ride one appliance
in the garage...
391
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,381
and you get all
bent out of shape.
392
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:16,565
The house isn't gonna fall apart
if you're not here, and I'm here!
393
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:19,034
And don't take this wrong,
but you don't have to work.
394
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,603
I want to work.
395
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:22,804
We got three kids we
gotta get through college.
396
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,673
Or a good trade school.
397
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:28,577
I like working. You
know, and I'm good at it.
398
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:31,480
I think that I could move
up. I might even be an editor.
399
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:34,216
But the whole time I'm working, I
worry about what's going on at the house,
400
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,885
and when I'm at the house, I worry about
work. I just wish there were two of me.
401
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,842
Could I sleep in the middle?
402
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,724
Morning, Jill.
Hello there, Jill.
403
00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:43,748
Hey.
404
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:50,832
Fine. If you don't wanna talk about
it, I'm gonna figure it out by myself.
405
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,435
And that, my dear,
is the problem.
406
00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:55,504
You wanna do
everything by yourself.
407
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,340
There are two people.
The other person here is me.
408
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:01,743
You got to learn how to let me do
some of the stuff the way I wanna do it.
409
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:04,046
Like giving the
boys lunch money?
410
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:05,747
Burning down the kitchen,
411
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:07,449
riding the thing
around the garage?
412
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,285
Hold on, back the truck up.
413
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,420
Some of the things went
well today, you know.
414
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,422
Tim, look around you.
415
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,291
You practically
wrecked the house.
416
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:16,625
I'll have you know
417
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:19,195
I wrecked this house long
before you ever got a job.
418
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:22,598
And I'll be wrecking this
house long after you got a job.
419
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:25,834
The kids were dressed, they had
their breakfast, they got to school,
420
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:28,837
they had their lunch, and they
came home, and they were safe.
421
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:31,907
So maybe my way wasn't
that dangerous after all,
422
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:34,810
and some of the things
did work, didn't they?
423
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,345
Well, that washing machine...
424
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:37,879
What about the washing machine?
425
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,315
That was pretty cool.
426
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:42,050
(grunts) You like
that? Oh-oh-oh.
427
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,151
Yeah.
428
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,642
(makes monkey noises)
429
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:50,158
So if this is gonna work,
430
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:54,196
then I'm gonna have
to let go of some things
431
00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:57,921
and make sure that the
smoke detector is working.
432
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:01,169
You got to put a
battery in that thing.
433
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:02,904
I think so.
434
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,474
And if you're gonna
come home early,
435
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,509
gimme a phone call first.
436
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:09,345
Yeah, right.
437
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:11,347
All right, well, as long as
we're both here together,
438
00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:13,349
why don't you help me clean up?
439
00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:15,384
Honey, I think
this is the first time
440
00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:18,542
that I'm going to
let go of something.
441
00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:25,193
Whoa! That icing is really bad.
442
00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:27,396
That's 'cause it's not icing.
443
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:28,731
Huh?
444
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:32,156
It's polyvinyl acetate
caulking compound.
445
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:37,194
You've just weather-proofed
your tongue, honey.
446
00:21:42,669 --> 00:21:44,735
I'll sue!
447
00:21:46,172 --> 00:21:49,451
(makes engine sounds)
448
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:52,288
Don't run, run, run. We
got a piece of artwork here.
449
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:53,722
It's crooked.
450
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:55,257
I designed it this way.
451
00:21:55,281 --> 00:21:57,959
This is a gingerbread
truck and auto service center
452
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:01,196
after a major earthquake.
453
00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:04,166
Do you actually think
anybody's gonna buy this?
454
00:22:04,190 --> 00:22:06,568
Yes, I actually think
somebody's going to buy this.
455
00:22:06,592 --> 00:22:09,605
Tim, you can't charge $156.
456
00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:12,174
Why? That's what it cost.
457
00:22:12,198 --> 00:22:15,611
Boys, put on your coats
and mittens and stuff.
458
00:22:15,635 --> 00:22:17,212
Mark, are you ready?!
459
00:22:17,236 --> 00:22:19,682
Has anybody seen
my good blue sweater?
460
00:22:19,706 --> 00:22:22,384
Uh, I did. It's in the...
461
00:22:22,408 --> 00:22:23,686
What?
462
00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:24,753
I don't know.
463
00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:25,854
Brad?
464
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:27,489
Gee, I don't know.
465
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:28,724
I'm ready.
466
00:22:28,748 --> 00:22:30,659
Mark, have you seen
my good blue sweater?
467
00:22:30,683 --> 00:22:31,760
It's in the dryer.
468
00:22:31,784 --> 00:22:34,129
Thanks, big mouth.
469
00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:36,398
Oh...
470
00:22:36,422 --> 00:22:38,489
H-H-Honey, you OK?
471
00:22:42,428 --> 00:22:44,829
What is this?
472
00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:53,081
Boys, put on your coats
and mittens and stuff.
473
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:56,039
Randy... What is your name?
474
00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:00,678
Yeah, it's Randy, Mom.
475
00:23:01,781 --> 00:23:03,726
Well, you are a
very special man,
476
00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:05,694
quite like Galileo.
477
00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:08,419
Yeah, I love his wine.
478
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,467
No, no, no, Tim. No, no, no.
479
00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:14,636
I'm talking about the
17th-century Italian astronomer.
480
00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:18,763
He was... a very fat man.
480
00:23:19,305 --> 00:24:19,417
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