1
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:06,549
Are you OK?
2
00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:08,852
You got so much stuff crammed in
that closet, you're suffocating my shirts.
3
00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,420
Oh, please.
4
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:14,191
Come on, buddy. Don't
die now. Don't die, don't die.
5
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:16,259
Clear!
6
00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:18,628
Clear! There you go.
7
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:21,631
You got so much to live for. You're
perma-press. Come on, buddy.
8
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:24,701
Is it having an
out-of-closet experience?
9
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:29,272
You got too much stuff in
here. You got 30 hats in here.
10
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:31,308
I wear all of them. Oh, yeah?
11
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,010
Yeah.
12
00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:34,978
You wear this?
13
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:37,014
I did in seventh grade
when I was Carmen Miranda.
14
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,316
And you still need it?
15
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:41,385
Yes. Whenever I go to a new
grocery store, I point to it and say,
16
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,242
"What aisle are these in?"
17
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,424
Belts, belts, belts.
18
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:48,725
Stupid belts.
19
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:51,528
Do you need four red belts?
20
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,763
Listen to you.
These are not red.
21
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:56,599
This is scarlet,
crimson, ruby, vermilion.
22
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,191
What I need is a red belt.
23
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:04,007
I'm telling you, if you don't
throw some of this stuff out,
24
00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:07,810
I'm gonna organize this closet
and get one with more power.
25
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:11,048
No. No.
26
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:13,517
I can hear my power
tools calling right now.
27
00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:16,786
"Come on, Tim. Plug us
in. We're ready to serve."
28
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,522
I don't hear anything.
29
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:22,592
'Cause women can't hear power
tools talking. Be right down, guys.
30
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,627
No. All right,
all right, all right.
31
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,663
I'll clean the closet out.
32
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,299
There's got to be something
in here you can get rid of.
33
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:32,803
Yeah, but I stayed married
to it because of the kids.
34
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:40,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
35
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,565
What do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
36
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:54,751
Thank you very much, and
welcome once again to Tool Time.
37
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,953
I am, of course, your host,
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
38
00:02:56,977 --> 00:03:01,480
You all know my assistant, Al
"Add a G, you got Gal" Borland.
39
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,861
Tim, we get lots of
letters from viewers
40
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,330
saying they're very tired of
you making fun of my name.
41
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,221
Tell your mom to stop writing.
42
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,970
I got a question for you.
How many belts do you own?
43
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,505
Two.
44
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,873
That's right.
45
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:19,509
Because men are practical.
We only need two belts.
46
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:23,480
One to hold our trousers up and another
heavy tool belt to drag 'em back down.
47
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:26,749
Right, Al?
48
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:29,252
Unlike my wife
who's got 47 belts.
49
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:34,023
She says six are red, even though
she calls 'em scarlet and vermin.
50
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,826
I believe he means vermilion.
51
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,828
No, he means vermin.
52
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,785
One is actually
made out of rat hair.
53
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:46,570
All this week, Al and I
will be doing our salute...
54
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:49,472
(tools crash to the ground)
55
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:52,409
to toolboxes.
56
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:55,934
You know, a well-organized
toolbox says a lot about you as a man.
57
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,786
What is it, Al?
58
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:04,854
Nothing, Tim.
59
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:07,257
What is it, Al?
60
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:08,491
Well, I...
61
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,261
I was just noticing how
much bigger mine is.
62
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:13,663
Ooh!
63
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,398
You have to have
a bigger toolbox
64
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:18,357
to compensate for your
teensy-weensy paycheck.
65
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:23,873
No, Tim. I need a bigger toolbox
because I'm your assistant,
66
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:27,076
and I need to be ready for
any of your particular needs.
67
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,679
(grunts) Oh, yeah,
you do. Oh-oh-oh.
68
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,681
You're really shaping
up around here, Al.
69
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:35,518
Well, I have plenty of
room in here for bandages,
70
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:36,786
couple of ice packs.
71
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,155
Stop it, Al. Cut it
out. Oh, a tourniquet.
72
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,591
I hope you have a job
application in there, buddy.
73
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:42,759
Crutches.
74
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,327
Huh?
75
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,896
IV unit.
76
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,432
(frog croaks)
77
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,434
Mom and Dad are gonna bust me.
78
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,069
You should've thought of that
79
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,437
before you slugged
Mickey Walker.
80
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,439
He totally asked for it.
81
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,209
You mean he said, "Brad,
my nose is too pointy.
82
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:02,378
Can you flatten it for me?"
83
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:05,448
I'd give anything not to let
Mom and Dad see this note.
84
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:08,484
Would you give your Barry
Sanders autographed football?
85
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:09,885
Forget it.
86
00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:11,454
I have a plan.
87
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,123
Yeah? What plan?
88
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,958
Do I get the ball?
89
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,293
No.
90
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,295
But I won't beat you
up if you help me.
91
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,185
Works for me.
92
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,703
Now, you won't
get into any trouble
93
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,672
if Mom and Dad
think they're signing
94
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:33,498
a field-trip release form.
95
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:36,879
How do we do it?
96
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,548
Well, it's easy.
97
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:41,618
You take the release form, put
it on top of the note and tape it.
98
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:42,585
Cool.
99
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:45,455
Hi, boys. How was school?
100
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,712
Great. Nothing happened.
101
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:54,597
Tim, what are you doing?
102
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:57,767
I was gonna
reorganize the closet.
103
00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,803
No. With a sledgehammer?
I don't think so.
104
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,438
Come on, come on. Give
it back to me. Let go of this.
105
00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:04,274
No.
106
00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:06,276
Before you organize,
you gotta demolish.
107
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:09,445
After you demolish, you
must call someone to fix it.
108
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,447
I know what I'm doing here.
109
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:14,350
I'm gonna remodel it to maximize
every square inch of that thing.
110
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,920
Look what I ordered for you
at the Furniture Barn today.
111
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:20,890
What did you order for me
at the Furniture Barn today?
112
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,759
(whistles)
113
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:26,562
A Super Goliath
Modular Closet System.
114
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,931
Ho-ho-ho.
115
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,934
Chrome shelves, tubular
steel rods at top and bottom.
116
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,404
All the rivets are hidden, you can't
even see - Matte-black finish everywhere.
117
00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:36,739
It's got seven drawers
in the middle of it.
118
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:39,875
Tim, I just need someplace
to hang my blouses.
119
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,944
This looks like
an offshore oil rig.
120
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:45,637
Oh, yeah, just like the North
Sea, where the men smell like fish.
121
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:54,089
If, by some slim chance,
we did redo the closet,
122
00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:58,528
this is the one
that I would like.
123
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:00,830
The Lady Lavender
Quilted Vinyl Organizer?
124
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,465
Yeah. Yeah. Come on.
125
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:05,435
Look, it comes with ten
padded, scented hangers.
126
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,269
Scented hangers?
127
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:11,541
I do not want the closet smelling
like Madame Foufou's Perfume Parlor.
128
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:16,879
I want it smelling like sawdust...
motor oil... the bottom of men's feet.
129
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:19,615
Gotta go. No! Wait! Wait!
130
00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:22,852
Wait! Every time you take a sledgehammer
up to the bedroom it means trouble.
131
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,721
You come back
here, you little termite.
132
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:26,222
Let go of my belt.
I'm not gonna let go...
133
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,157
I can't ask them
now. They're arguing.
134
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:31,927
Are you kidding? This is the
perfect time. They won't even notice.
135
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,431
How do you think I got
that raise in my allowance?
136
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,132
You are not gonna
touch this closet.
137
00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:38,968
Just don't get excited. Listen
to me, please, for a minute.
138
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,437
All right. There's a lot of
wasted space behind this closet.
139
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,773
I say we blow out the wall,
take the linen closet wall out,
140
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,275
put all the linens in the bathroom,
you got more room in there, anyway,
141
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,410
put a few wires, lights...
142
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:50,413
Boom. We've got
a walk-in closet.
143
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:54,717
No. We don't have a linen closet, and
we have a hole in the side of the house.
144
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:56,753
I gave you a chance
to get rid of some stuff.
145
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,788
Now it is time to
swing some steel.
146
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,657
Hey, I got rid of some stuff. I
packed a whole box over there.
147
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,793
Oh, really? The whole
box right over here?
148
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,462
You don't have to
look. This whole box?
149
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,164
Hello! Hello! Hello!
150
00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:11,300
Look, some stretch
pants and a shoe.
151
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,636
Nice try. I'm doing
this in stages.
152
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:17,540
Besides, I know the minute that I throw
away this shoe, I'm gonna find its mate.
153
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:21,511
I think I saw it on the
freeway this morning.
154
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,346
You're a pack rat,
honey. I am not.
155
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:27,349
My mother always said,
"Waste not, want not."
156
00:08:27,373 --> 00:08:29,652
Good clothes
never go out of style.
157
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,544
I'm pretty sure she
wasn't referring to this!
158
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:39,261
That's from my fat collection.
159
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:41,997
You could fit Europe
in these things.
160
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,535
See, I have divided the
clothes into three sections.
161
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:48,037
I have my normal-weight
section over there,
162
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,872
then I have my fat
section over here.
163
00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:52,107
This is for, you
know, after childbirth
164
00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:53,810
and holidays and...
165
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,115
And this? What's this? The
"I have a dream" section?
166
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,984
I will wear that dress again.
167
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:04,053
No offense, honey, but you're
not gonna get into that again.
168
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,955
Excuse me. Don't,
don't, don't, don't...
169
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,491
Are you asking for
some trouble here?
170
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,092
You are. Stop it.
171
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,361
Hey, Dad, will you sign
this for me? Hold her hands.
172
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,697
(Jill) Oh, you have to have
help here? (Tim) Yes, help me.
173
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,533
Wait, don't sign
that. Don't sign it.
174
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,502
Why? It's a... it's a
field-trip release form.
175
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,504
No, no. They wait for us
not to be paying attention.
176
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:24,907
I think I'm smart enough
to know when they're pulling
177
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:27,142
that "distract 'em and
have 'em sign stuff" trick.
178
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:28,945
What is this tape
down here on this thing?
179
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,613
'Cause it ripped. It ripped.
180
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:34,851
This is a letter from Mrs.
Blackburn, the principal.
181
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:37,441
Aha! Just as I suspected.
182
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:43,781
Brad, I'm ashamed. Trying
to trick our parents like that.
183
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:47,964
I suppose you had
nothing to do with this?
184
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,265
Of course not, Father.
185
00:09:50,289 --> 00:09:53,669
Randy, we'll deal with you in
a minute. You get outta here.
186
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,205
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Brad, Brad... Brad, sit down.
187
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:58,908
Come on, come on, come
on. Sit down. Sit down.
188
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,543
"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Taylor,
189
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,545
"your son punched Mickey
Walker in the hallway.
190
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:04,446
"I reprimanded Brad
and informed him
191
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:08,317
that another incident
would result in suspension."
192
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,208
Brad, what is going
on in your head?
193
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,717
Looks to me like the
hamster fell off the wheel.
194
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:25,535
How many times have we
told you not to fight? How many?
195
00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:26,536
I lost count.
196
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,571
Don't get smart with me.
197
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,439
You're grounded, three
days. You know that.
198
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,042
That's not fair. Why
did you hit this boy?
199
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,044
Because he was making fun of me.
200
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,046
That's not a reason
to punch anybody.
201
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,615
Why are you angry
at me? It's your fault.
202
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,718
Beep-beep. Back the truck up.
203
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:44,554
Why is it my fault?
204
00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:46,622
This morning, when you
dropped me off at school,
205
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,947
you hugged me in
front of all my friends.
206
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,495
Wait. That is no reason to
hit this Mickey Walker guy.
207
00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:55,064
Yeah, well, Mickey Walker saw
208
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,066
and started calling
me "Diaper Baby."
209
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,068
I don't care what he called you.
210
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,070
You're gonna call
him and apologize.
211
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,072
Besides, so what? I didn't
give you a real big hug.
212
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,340
I just squeezed your
shoulder a little bit like that.
213
00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:07,342
What's the matter with you?
214
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:10,101
Just... please
don't hug me again.
215
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,972
Good thing I didn't kiss him.
216
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,056
Brad, tag me.
217
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,292
This is no fair. I don't
have anyone to tag.
218
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,795
That's the idea, brainiac.
219
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,229
Dad, help! Please, please.
220
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,098
Tag me, bone
crusher. There you go.
221
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:32,034
Now it's time for
the evil chiropractor.
222
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:33,903
Hey, no fair! You're too old.
223
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,105
Oh, low blow, pretzel boy.
224
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,840
Brad! Tag me!
225
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,541
Oh, double-team him, huh?
226
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,477
Now it's time for
my ultimate move.
227
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:44,614
The Bookends of Death. Aaargh!
228
00:11:44,638 --> 00:11:47,483
Ah! Wah! Huh!
229
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,719
Can't get loose, can
you? Uh-oh, Brad.
230
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,721
I think we're hugging
each other now.
231
00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:54,957
Dad, why do you
have to be such a dork?
232
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:56,881
I was kidding around.
Come back here.
233
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:02,598
All right, Dad. Give me five.
234
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:07,036
Oh, man. That's the last time I
team up with Brad the diaper baby.
235
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,538
Don't call him that, all right?
236
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,141
Come on, Mark. Let's
go make fun of him.
237
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:15,444
I got a better idea. Why don't
you make fun of each other?
238
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,179
Booger brain. Weenie.
239
00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:20,016
That's more like it.
240
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,317
(door opens/man hums)
241
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:23,819
(Wilson) Hi-ho, neighbor.
242
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:26,555
Hey, Wilson. What are you up to?
243
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,258
I'm tending my tulips, Tim.
244
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,293
Little late in the
year for that, isn't it?
245
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:33,395
Well, I'm forcing them.
246
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,430
How? By squeezing their bulbs?
247
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:38,634
No, no, no, no, Tim.
248
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:41,837
Forcing flower bulbs is making
them bloom out of season
249
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:45,174
by growing them indoors in pots.
250
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:47,242
You know, Wilson, Brad's
going through this thing
251
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:49,244
where he doesn't want
me to hug him anymore.
252
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,647
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
253
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:54,984
He's finally reached that age.
254
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,952
It's a funny thing, you know.
255
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:59,521
He doesn't want me to touch him, but
he'll still wrestle and roughhouse with me.
256
00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:01,623
Well, that's because, throughout
history, men have been more comfortable
257
00:13:01,647 --> 00:13:04,526
expressing affection
through combative gestures,
258
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,962
such as the salute.
259
00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:09,264
The salute? Oh, yes, Tim.
260
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:12,267
In the Middle Ages, when knights on
horseback would pass by each other,
261
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:15,571
they would raise the visors of
their helmets to expose their face,
262
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:18,708
and show each other that they
were friends, and that became...
263
00:13:18,732 --> 00:13:21,577
A salute... a sign of
friendship and respect.
264
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,879
In the same vein, the
handshake evolved
265
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:28,206
when men would extend their weapon
hand to show that they were unarmed.
266
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:34,356
Or to show they didn't have
a little joke buzzer in there.
267
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,358
There you go, neighbor.
268
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:38,627
Men's gestures of
friendship and respect
269
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:42,064
grow out of
competition and combat.
270
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,767
Kinda like when football players, you
know, slap each other on the rear end.
271
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:47,569
Exactly! You see, Tim, each
man should show affection
272
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:50,039
in the way that he
feels most comfortable.
273
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:54,443
Mm. A nicely rolled
wet towel. Ow!
274
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,112
Well, I, myself,
prefer a warm hug,
275
00:13:56,136 --> 00:14:01,583
but I suppose the slashing sting
of wet terry cloth has its place.
276
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:03,853
Sure did in my high school.
277
00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:08,224
Of course, only a man who is truly secure
can feel free enough to hug another man.
278
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,948
Yeah, secure enough. Oh, yeah!
279
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,997
To help out our
demonstration today,
280
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,032
we've invited the boys
from Bay City back again.
281
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:19,601
That's right. The guys from
K&B Construction Company.
282
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:23,027
I want a big round of applause for
Pete, Dwayne and Rock. Let's go!
283
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,279
It's always great to
have these guys with us.
284
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:33,182
Always great to be here, Timmy.
285
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,084
Well, a little stucco
demonstration.
286
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,086
We're gonna put some mud on
the wall, we'll get stuccoing, right?
287
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,255
You betcha. We used to
do this all the time. All right.
288
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:42,424
Heck, I cut my
teeth on stucco, Tim.
289
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:45,527
Well, learned everything
from Dwayne here.
290
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,164
Oh, no, no. Pete
here is the real expert.
291
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:51,533
We call him "The Stucco Bucko."
292
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,269
You dog, you. Watch out, boy.
293
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,337
Guys, guys, guys.
294
00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:57,472
I don't know whether you're aware
of this, but that's a combative gesture.
295
00:14:57,496 --> 00:14:59,975
Oh, I was just horsing around
with my little buddy here.
296
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:02,344
No, no, no, no, no. It's a good
thing. The knights used to do it.
297
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:06,237
The Middle-Age guys used to extend
their hand and show they had no arms.
298
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,353
Anybody follow that?
299
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:14,589
I'm saying that's the way you
show appreciation of one another.
300
00:15:14,613 --> 00:15:15,925
Uh, Tim? Hmm?
301
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,229
(coughs)
302
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,330
What does this have
to do with stucco?
303
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:24,266
Nothing. But Tool Time's more
than just home improvement.
304
00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:26,668
It's also about
male improvement.
305
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,446
I think it's time we
took a little time out
306
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:30,372
to talk about male
appreciation, like huggin'.
307
00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:31,676
Oh, bubba.
308
00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:36,846
But, Tim, when you asked
us to be on this show,
309
00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:40,282
you didn't say nothin'
about no huggin'.
310
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:43,285
Well, it's OK for another man
to hug another man, isn't it?
311
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:44,909
(all) No.
312
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:49,591
I don't even hug my wife.
313
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,583
That's 'cause you can't
get your arms around her.
314
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:58,033
Tim, does the word "stucco"
mean anything to you?
315
00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:00,135
Al, Al. Hold on a minute.
Well, then, help me out, guys.
316
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,771
How does one man show another
man he just appreciates what he does?
317
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,540
Well, you buy him a couple
Lions tickets. Hey, all right.
318
00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:07,209
Or let him borrow
your truck. Good one.
319
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:11,080
You could pour beer
over his head. Yeah, yeah!
320
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,249
And I did not appreciate that.
321
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:16,785
The point is, there's many ways to
show another man you appreciate him.
322
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:20,923
And I think, if you're secure enough, you
can give another man a manly squeeze.
323
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:23,747
Al, how about a hug?
324
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:26,850
I don't think so, Tim.
325
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:29,388
Come on. Anybody?
326
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,757
What, I'm the only
secure man here?
327
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:37,806
Guess so.
328
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,342
Aw, heck. I'm secure.
329
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:43,946
I appreciate you, Timmy.
I appreciate you, Rock.
330
00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:47,016
Hey, all right.
331
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,585
Hey, you know,
that wasn't so bad.
332
00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:52,454
Yeah, we're secure, buddy.
333
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:54,558
Oh, yeah, are we ever secure.
334
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:59,516
You know, Tim, in Europe, men
kiss each other on both cheeks.
335
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:07,169
Hey, bucko. How
was school today?
336
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,972
Anything your principal
wants me to autograph?
337
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,728
No.
338
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:17,679
I was thinking about
you at work today,
339
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,615
and I think I
understand about...
340
00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:22,952
how you feel about
this hugging thing.
341
00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:25,454
So I'm not grounded?
342
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:27,489
Nice try.
343
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:29,658
No, I just think that maybe
sometimes hugging's inappropriate,
344
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:31,793
and maybe I shouldn't have
done it in front of your friends,
345
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:33,795
but that's no reason
to hit anybody.
346
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:35,797
Dad, what do you expect me to do
347
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:37,833
when people are
making fun of me?
348
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,901
I expect you to use
your head. Laugh.
349
00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:41,136
What?
350
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,505
When people used
to tease me, I'd laugh.
351
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:46,508
People can't laugh at you if
you're already laughing at yourself.
352
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:48,143
You know what I'm saying?
353
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:51,935
You want me to use other parts
of my brain besides my fists?
354
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,952
Yeah.
355
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:59,521
And I know you're having
trouble hugging a man.
356
00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:03,180
But remember, I'm your
father. I'm not a man.
357
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:07,062
Right, Dad.
358
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,131
Anyway, I promise I won't hug
you in front of your buddies anymore.
359
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:11,233
OK. But I'm still
gonna say I love you.
360
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,768
Oh, Dad, that's ten
times worse than hugging.
361
00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:15,937
Wait a minute. Hold on a minute.
362
00:18:15,961 --> 00:18:18,540
It's not like that. It's like we'll be at a
ball game. Pretend we're at a ball game.
363
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:22,478
Instead of saying, "I love you," I'll say
something like, "How 'bout the Lions?"
364
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:25,014
We'll both know
what I'm talking about.
365
00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:27,149
OK. But don't say it too mushy.
366
00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:28,350
You mean like...
367
00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:30,374
(seductively) "How
'bout those Lions?"
368
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,857
(Jill) Tim!
369
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:38,127
Would you go upstairs
and shut the closet door?
370
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:40,729
I don't wanna show her
this till I can demonstrate.
371
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,998
There's some more
groceries out there.
372
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:45,401
Forget the groceries. I
wanna go up to the bedroom.
373
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:49,438
There's something up there you've
been waiting for for a long time.
374
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,507
Oh, OK.
375
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:55,066
I guess I'll be back down
before the ice cream melts.
376
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,782
Not that. I finished the closet.
377
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:03,118
Oh, good. Let's go see.
378
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,686
Hi, Mom. Hi, sweetie.
379
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:06,588
Dad, it's all ready.
I'm going to the park.
380
00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:09,413
Before you go, how
about those Lions?
381
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:12,327
What about 'em?
382
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:17,054
I said, how about the Lions?
383
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:21,158
Oh, yeah. I love you, too. Bye.
384
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,097
It's a guy thing.
385
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,947
Welcome to the Tim Taylor
clothing management system.
386
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:34,183
It's unique, it's high-tech,
387
00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:36,218
it's the answer to your
disorganized prayers.
388
00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:39,488
Don't, don't, don't, don't,
don't, don't, don't, don't.
389
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,190
I have to use a remote?
390
00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:44,059
Trust me. Press "one."
391
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:47,896
(swirl of harp music)
392
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,731
(Tim's computerized
voice) Hello, Jill Taylor.
393
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,933
What shall we wear today?
394
00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:54,936
(Jill laughs)
395
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,505
Hold on a minute.
396
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,540
Does this mean I'm gonna
have, like, a little man in here
397
00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:00,942
watching me get
undressed every day?
398
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:05,314
Yep. If you'll notice, the closet's
all cedar-lined for all our big clothes.
399
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:08,450
Trousers, jackets, scarves,
upper clothes, there's shirts,
400
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:11,386
skirts at the bottom,
pants, everything else, OK?
401
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,655
This is perfect, so far. All right.
You'll notice all your stuff is pink.
402
00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:16,291
I've got all your
accessories outlined here.
403
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:18,693
I've even got a drawer
for your scarves. Open that.
404
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:21,062
Oh, OK.
405
00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:23,765
Whoa! Wait a minute.
406
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:28,270
Could that be
potpourri-scented lining?
407
00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:30,672
I'm still waiting
for the explosion.
408
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,974
Come on. I'd suggest
you shut that drawer.
409
00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:35,966
(Tim) The drawer is ajar. The
drawer is ajar. The drawer is a...
410
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:42,906
Thank you.
411
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:46,955
You're welcome.
412
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:50,058
OK, now, on to the
shoes. Press number five.
413
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,060
All right.
414
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:55,352
(♪ "March" from
Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite)
415
00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:11,580
Tim, I want you now.
416
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,183
Hold your horses, little filly.
417
00:21:14,207 --> 00:21:16,518
Now the safety precautions.
This is very important.
418
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:20,155
You'll notice I've done the
whole theme in pink for you,
419
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:22,891
and a lovely matte black for me.
420
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:24,459
This is very important.
421
00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:27,796
Don't ever try to put your pink
things in my matte-black zones.
422
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:31,966
Why not? Try to put this pink
hanger onto my matte-black zone.
423
00:21:31,990 --> 00:21:33,134
OK.
424
00:21:33,158 --> 00:21:34,369
(siren wails)
425
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:36,338
(Tim's voice) Step
away from the closet.
426
00:21:36,362 --> 00:21:37,939
Keep your hands in plain sight.
427
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,808
You have the right
to remain silent.
428
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,142
Any clothes you touch
429
00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:43,900
will be used against
you in a court of law.
430
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:51,675
Flashback!
431
00:21:56,081 --> 00:21:59,416
I found these at the
bottom of the giveaway box.
432
00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:04,833
You look like a radioactive
leprechaun, honey.
433
00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:07,636
I can't believe that you
were gonna give this away.
434
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:10,071
That is the most hideous
thing I've ever seen in my life.
435
00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:11,573
Why do you wanna keep that?
436
00:22:11,597 --> 00:22:13,642
You gave it to me.
437
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,678
Oh, yeah, sure. I
guess I did, yeah.
438
00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:19,681
It could come back.
439
00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:21,783
Pretty boss-looking chick.
440
00:22:21,807 --> 00:22:24,286
Well, thank you.
441
00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:28,257
That is, like, so far
out that you say that.
442
00:22:28,281 --> 00:22:30,113
You wanna groove with me?
443
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:39,968
(Tim) Step away from the closet.
444
00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:41,770
Keep your hands in plain sight.
445
00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:43,805
You have the right
to remain silent.
446
00:22:43,829 --> 00:22:46,389
Any clothes you touch will
be used against you in a...
447
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,811
Pretty boss chick.
Yeah. Thank you.
448
00:22:49,835 --> 00:22:53,382
That's, like, really far
out that you say that.
449
00:22:53,406 --> 00:22:56,340
Hey, groove with me, baby.
450
00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:03,858
(siren wails)
451
00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:05,694
(Tim) Step away from the closet.
452
00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:07,562
Keep your hands in plain sight.
453
00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:09,598
You have the right
to remain silent.
454
00:23:09,622 --> 00:23:13,123
Any clothes you touch will be
used against you in a court of law.
455
00:23:23,703 --> 00:23:25,902
(Tim) It was their idea.
455
00:23:26,305 --> 00:24:26,550
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