1
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,556
Yes, he's asleep.
2
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:15,592
Are you sure we should do this?
3
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:18,395
(whispering) After what he did
to us last night in that pillow fight?
4
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:20,397
(whispering) It's payback time!
5
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:21,965
(snoring)
6
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:25,190
OK, Mark, you do the shoes.
We'll take care of the rest.
7
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:33,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
8
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,247
Everybody,
9
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:39,204
stand back.
10
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:42,107
OK.
11
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,947
(groans)
12
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:57,722
You little monkeys!
13
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:03,407
Nice boxers, Dad.
14
00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:05,475
Binford! Binford! Binford!
15
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:08,567
You watch that Tabasco
sauce. I'm coming after you kids.
16
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:13,872
Oh, honey, not now. Can't
we wait till after dinner?
17
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,588
Those little genius boys did this.
Give me a towel or something. Help me.
18
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,757
No, wait, wait, wait. You're
just gonna make a big mess.
19
00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:22,125
Let me help you out
with that. Come on!
20
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:25,350
OK, just a minute. Say cheese!
21
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,017
What do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
22
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,642
Good morning! Morning, hon.
23
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:49,012
What is green, has
eight legs and liver spots?
24
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:52,103
I don't know, but I
think I married her.
25
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,052
With all eight legs
kicking and screaming.
26
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:59,322
So, Tim, do you know
what special event
27
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,158
we have coming up next week?
28
00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:03,226
You don't even have to
ask me. I know what it is.
29
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,494
You're bluffing. What is it?
30
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,329
Our anniversary. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
31
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:11,168
OK, Mr. Big Shot, What
day of the week is it?
32
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:13,570
What day of the
week is it? That's easy.
33
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,004
What day of the
week is it? What day...
34
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,573
Friday. Friday. Friday.
35
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:19,398
Saturday. Saturday. Saturday?
36
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,847
We will, of course,
be exchanging gifts.
37
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,350
And you're the hardest
person in the world to buy for.
38
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:30,654
Yes, I know, I know. But this
year, I've made it easy for you.
39
00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:34,191
Crowley's is holding this beautiful
gold hand-knit sweater for me.
40
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:36,125
All you have to do is go
down there and pick it up,
41
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,395
and your anniversary
nightmare is over.
42
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,731
You just waltz in here and deny
me the pleasure of shopping for you?
43
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:42,932
That's right.
44
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,868
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
45
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,405
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't
you want to know what I want?
46
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:50,540
I've already got your present,
and I know you'll love it.
47
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,509
I hope it's as good as the
sweater I bought for you.
48
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,878
I shopped for
hours for that thing.
49
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,881
Want us to tell you
what Mom got you?
50
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:02,118
No, I don't want you to
tell me what Mom got me.
51
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:05,622
The surprise is half the fun.
52
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:09,192
I want to know, and I
want to know right now.
53
00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:12,862
Oh, well, you know, I don't
want to ruin the surprise.
54
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,398
Mark, two bucks?
Broom closet. Top shelf.
55
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,601
All right.
56
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:20,503
Hey, I didn't know there
were gonna be bribes involved.
57
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:23,228
Where have you been
living the last ten years?
58
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:26,998
Oh, whoa!
59
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:31,514
This is like a Momo steering
wheel off some kind of sports car.
60
00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:33,383
Yeah, Mario Andretti's racecar.
61
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:36,018
Get out of here! Oh-oh-oh!
62
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:38,788
Are you kidding? This is
great. How did she get this?
63
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:41,691
Well, she wrote him a letter
after he was on your show.
64
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,192
Oh, man.
65
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:46,563
This thing is really cool.
66
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,932
I gotta get her something great.
67
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,969
Something she really wants.
68
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:55,372
Ballroom dancing lessons.
69
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:59,036
Dad, be serious. You
don't know how to dance.
70
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,413
Brad! The bus is gonna
be here any minute.
71
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:06,383
You still have to make your
bed and brush your teeth.
72
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:09,486
Tim, you know, Crowley's is only
gonna hold that sweater for three days,
73
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,488
so if you're gonna
get it, you gotta go fast.
74
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,456
Forget about the sweater.
I've got the perfect gift for you.
75
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,792
If you think filling
my car with antifreeze
76
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:19,162
is gonna work as my present
again this year, you can forget it.
77
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,931
Let's put it this way - when you
find out what I'm gonna give you,
78
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,200
you're gonna want to
cover me in chocolate syrup
79
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:27,771
and show your appreciation
in weird and unusual ways.
80
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:30,573
Chocolate syrup.
81
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:33,176
I've gotta admit, you
piqued my interest.
82
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,945
What do you say to me after we
finish dinner every anniversary?
83
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,181
"Tim, you have mashed
potatoes on your tie."
84
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:40,082
Jill, you always say,
"We should go dancing."
85
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:43,620
This year, we go dancing.
86
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,388
Are you serious? Yeah.
87
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:48,224
Oh, that's wonderful.
88
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,259
Dining and dancing
at the Excalibur.
89
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:53,797
The Excalibur!
Yay! That's fantastic!
90
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:57,200
And in order to prepare
ourselves for a night of ecstasy...
91
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,267
Yeah?
92
00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:00,403
I say we take
93
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:02,572
ballroom dancing lessons.
94
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:07,410
Ballroom dancing
lessons. Oh, honey...
95
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,446
I just have two
words for you. Yeah?
96
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:12,036
Hot fudge. Oh. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
97
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,807
(♪ ballroom)
98
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:22,826
There you go, cha-cha-cha.
Move those hips, cha-cha-cha.
99
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:26,896
Very good, Mr. Green.
Very nice, Mrs. T.
100
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,431
Thank you. Good.
101
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:30,367
This is really embarrassing.
102
00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:33,470
Well, you weren't embarrassed in
the '70s when you had to do disco.
103
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,861
Well, I had white
boots, you know?
104
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:39,141
Cha-cha, cha-cha-cha.
105
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:42,345
Yeah, that was embarrassing.
This cha-cha's so dated.
106
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:45,582
Oh, yeah, like disco is
here to stay. Could be.
107
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:48,418
OK, class, that
was just wonderful.
108
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:52,321
Mrs. Taylor, really, you're a
natural. Such style and grace.
109
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,491
Oh, thank you. How about me?
110
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:58,528
Well, Mr. Taylor,
you're one of a kind.
111
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:00,963
Thanks a lot. What
did she mean by that?
112
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:03,922
She meant you're a
geek, and disco is dead.
113
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,872
All right, everybody, let's
take a break, but remember -
114
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:12,909
To live is to dance, and
to dance is to be free.
115
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:16,178
Free? Does this mean you're not
charging us 20 bucks for the lesson?
116
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:19,148
Oh, Mr. Taylor, don't
think of it as money.
117
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:22,351
Think of it as an
investment in sophistication.
118
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:25,889
And that's an
investment you could use.
119
00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:28,291
Tim, come on. This
dance-class thing was your idea.
120
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:30,560
Are you just gonna fool around all
the time? No, I'm not gonna fool around.
121
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:33,262
I'm gonna get this and
learn how to cha-cha.
122
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,565
I can't fool around with all
these refined people in here.
123
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:38,501
Hey, Tool Man, I love your show.
124
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,670
(grunts) (Tim grunts in reply)
125
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:44,040
You must be Mrs. Arr-arr.
126
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,042
Well, actually,
127
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,877
Arr-arr-arr is my married name.
128
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,502
My maiden name was...
(high-pitched barking)
129
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,688
Will you excuse me? I have
to go check our babysitter
130
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:01,658
and see if our kids
have killed him yet.
131
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,660
Andy Paxton. Hey,
Andy. Tim Taylor.
132
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,929
Sit down, buddy. How are you?
133
00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:08,965
So, uh, how did your wife
rope you into this cha-cha thing?
134
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,800
Well, it's a trade-off.
135
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,758
You see, I do the
cha-cha, she shaves.
136
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:18,708
All right, everybody.
The break's over.
137
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:21,077
The line was busy.
138
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,513
Now that you know
the basic cha-cha,
139
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,281
let's add a little spice.
140
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,684
I need a couple to demonstrate.
141
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,853
Mrs. Taylor.
142
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:32,021
No, no, Mr. Taylor, not you.
143
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,691
I think we'll just kinda
mix things up a little bit.
144
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,459
Mr. Green,
145
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:41,063
I think you'll complement
Mrs. Taylor very nicely.
146
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:44,734
I bet he knows nothing
about belt sanders.
147
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:48,137
All right, everybody, we're
gonna be adding a few turns.
148
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,629
Now, Mrs. Taylor, watch closely.
149
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:02,841
I'd like to see the guy try
that on a construction site.
150
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,778
Now, this is what I
call the Keeney flair.
151
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,963
Well...
152
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:17,466
I sometimes get carried away.
153
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,101
Now, Mrs. Taylor, you try.
154
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,870
Oh, I didn't get that last part.
155
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,105
Oh, well, try.
156
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:25,096
Here we go.
157
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:30,346
Loosen up, Mrs. Taylor.
158
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,983
Keep your eyes
locked on your partner.
159
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:37,153
Foreheads together.
160
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:40,779
This is what I
call the love focus.
161
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:44,293
I can't believe I paid 20 bucks
162
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,295
to have some other
guy dance with my wife.
163
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,431
Hey, I'd pay him 30
to dance with my wife.
164
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:51,189
Let him get the razor burns.
165
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:56,227
Mr. Green, more
flair, more panache.
166
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,478
What are you doing?
167
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,603
Flairing, panaching!
Well, stop it.
168
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,784
Mr. Taylor.
169
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,852
Mr. Taylor, would you
come out here, please?
170
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,854
Me? Yes.
171
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:14,624
You seem to be enjoying
yourself. Totally, babe.
172
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,025
Well, why don't we put-
173
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:20,296
why don't we put all of our
creative energies to good use?
174
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,532
And refinish the floor.
175
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,902
No. Let's use our
imagination. All right.
176
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,103
We're in New York.
177
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,994
Give me your wallet.
178
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:38,447
We're in the Stork Club, 1957.
179
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,484
(♪ ballroom)
180
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:44,520
The band begins
to play a cha-cha,
181
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:47,289
and we see each
other across the room.
182
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,480
Our eyes lock. Ah!
183
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:54,786
The band begins to
play a dance of passion.
184
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:02,338
Oh, the mating ritual
begins. Lady, lady, lady.
185
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,340
I've got a wife, you know.
186
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:07,543
In 1957, you had no wife.
187
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:10,146
Now let yourself go, Mr. Taylor.
188
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,115
Don't be a prisoner
of your body.
189
00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:14,550
Free me, warden. I'm on parole!
190
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:15,785
Let's show 'em.
191
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:19,122
Let's show the
class those turns.
192
00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:21,724
Oh, with lots of speed
193
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:23,760
and lots of flair.
194
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:26,228
Oh, spin me, Mr. Taylor!
195
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:28,319
Really spin me!
196
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,834
(screaming)
197
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,159
(crashes into piano)
198
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:38,863
Call 911.
199
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,583
Mark, did you tie his
shoelaces together?
200
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,674
He doesn't have any.
201
00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:52,711
Forget it.
202
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:02,587
Put some in his other hand.
203
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:25,176
Oh, you thought
you'd get me, huh?
204
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,161
I can't believe it. This
worked great on Dad.
205
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,530
I know. He told me. (door shuts)
206
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,799
Quick, quick. Mom
and Dad are home.
207
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:39,501
Run up... Get ready for...
208
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,993
Get ready for bed, quick!
All right. Wash your faces.
209
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:47,243
Hi, Al. How were
the kids? Great, great.
210
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,812
And how was the first
ballroom dancing class?
211
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:51,013
It went pretty good.
212
00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:53,950
Oh, pretty good!
It was a disaster.
213
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:57,386
He threw the teacher
across the room.
214
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,454
You did?
215
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:01,545
Not. She said,
"Spin me. Spin me."
216
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,094
You'd think a former
June Taylor Dancer
217
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,529
could take a fall
better than that.
218
00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:08,965
Well, she might
have been able to
219
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,768
if she hadn't caught
her chin on the piano.
220
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:16,105
Well, I'm still free for tomorrow
night for lesson number two.
221
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,208
I don't think so, Al.
222
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,944
After she regained
consciousness,
223
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:25,882
Mrs. Keeney gave our
description to the security guard.
224
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,283
She was so woozy,
225
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,141
she described us as an
elderly Japanese couple.
226
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,522
Well, if I leave right now,
227
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:36,259
I can still make second
session of bingo.
228
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:37,760
Thank you, Al. OK.
229
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,829
You don't want to miss
that. Hurry up, Al, hurry.
230
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:42,331
Bye-bye. I'll see you
at work tomorrow.
231
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,100
See you, buddy.
232
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,835
There's other dance studios
we can go to, you know.
233
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:47,303
You know, you always do this.
234
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,039
You always ridicule everything
that is important to me.
235
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,707
No, I don't. I was just trying
to make your gift as special
236
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,976
as the steer... steer...
The steer. A steer.
237
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,311
What a gift that
would be. A steer.
238
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,146
You could have
a steer out there,
239
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,104
get beef and milk out
of the same animal.
240
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,886
You snooped. I did not.
241
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:06,088
You snooped around and
found the steering wheel.
242
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:08,124
It's not like you hid it very well.
You put it in the broom closet.
243
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,126
When was the last time
you used the broom?
244
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:12,895
Thank you for
ruining both gifts.
245
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:14,997
I love the steering wheel.
246
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,533
Exactly, which is why I would
have liked to have seen you open it.
247
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,635
We can still go dancing
Saturday at Excalibur.
248
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,304
No way I'm gonna
go dancing with a man
249
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:23,239
who can't even make
it through one lesson.
250
00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:26,508
Yeah, but give me credit. The
ballroom-dancing idea was good.
251
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,878
Oh, I bet that wasn't even your
idea. I bet the kids thought of it, right?
252
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,412
No. The amount you've
been nagging me about -
253
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:31,647
"Nag" is the wrong word.
254
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:34,116
"Nag" is the wrong
word. It's the wrong word!
255
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:36,585
I can dance. I've got flair.
256
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,943
I've got panache,
just like Mr. Green.
257
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:45,627
And the Binford power
roofing nail gun is my favorite,
258
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:49,365
because the new magazine
holds 120 roofing nails.
259
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,834
It's enough for a
bushel of shingles.
260
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,938
(nail fires) (man) Oh!
261
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:59,441
Available at fine hardware
stores everywhere.
262
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:01,310
Mark, get a claw hammer,
get that out of your thigh.
263
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:04,180
Get some salve on it. (Al) Tim.
264
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,415
And if it doesn't
say Binford on it,
265
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,406
somebody else makes it.
266
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,492
Time now for our next project.
267
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:19,428
All right, before we get to our next
project, we have a special guest.
268
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,764
Jerry Hobert's here from
the Village Association
269
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:24,800
to give me a certificate
of appreciation.
270
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:27,703
You? Is there an
echo in here? Yes, me.
271
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:30,927
Let's bring Jerry out here with a big Tool
Time welcome. Jerry Hobert, everybody.
272
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,180
It's good to see you, Tim. You
know, I've never been on TV before.
273
00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:39,681
Oh, anybody can do it.
274
00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,884
You should know.
275
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:45,821
Well, Tim, on behalf of the Detroit
Area Homebuilders Association,
276
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:48,490
I would like to present
you with this beautiful scroll.
277
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:50,492
Now, Al's name's
on there, right?
278
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:51,560
No, it's not.
279
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,818
Oh. It's too bad, huh?
280
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:59,257
Well, read it with a
loud, clear voice for us.
281
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:04,640
(very loudly) We
award this certificate
282
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,476
to Tim Taylor for his efforts
283
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:11,047
to promote safety at
home and on the job.
284
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,804
You're getting an
award for safety?
285
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,989
Yeah, I am, flannel boy.
You got a problem with that?
286
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:21,690
Well, I guess they
didn't see the show
287
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,359
where you fell through the
roof of the project house.
288
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,761
Maybe they didn't, Al.
289
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:27,830
Or the time you glued
your head to the table. Al!
290
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:30,534
Or the time when you
stapled the... Jerry...
291
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,269
Jerry, continue.
292
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:37,606
Your clever staging of
realistic-looking accidents
293
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:41,677
clearly shows
viewers what not to do.
294
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,579
We salute you.
295
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:44,702
Oh... (grunts)
296
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:56,047
Hey, Wilson. Hi-ho, neighbor.
297
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:00,863
Got one for you. Mm-hmm.
298
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,764
How much wood
could a Wilson chop
299
00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:05,401
if a Wilson could chop wood?
300
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,303
He could cut a quarter
of a cord of conifer
301
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:10,828
if you gave him a quarter
for every cord he cut.
302
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,011
You're good.
303
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:17,980
Uh-huh. By the way,
happy anniversary.
304
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:20,682
Uh... not from
Jill's point of view.
305
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,251
Problem, Tim?
306
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:25,054
The problem is I can't dance.
307
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,011
I won't ask you.
308
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,292
I got Jill kinda angry with me
309
00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:33,629
'cause I was goofing around
at this dance class we took.
310
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:37,733
Well, Tim, oftentimes, we
mock that which we cannot do.
311
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:40,503
I can't cha-cha. I
was trying to figure out
312
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:43,005
where to put my hands and
my feet and line everything up,
313
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,673
and the next thing I know,
314
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:48,444
the instructor slides under a
piano, and her jaw is wired shut.
315
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:51,147
Hmm, I don't know that step.
316
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,682
She didn't, either.
317
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:56,652
Whoa.
318
00:17:56,676 --> 00:18:00,222
Well, Tim, the problem is,
you're just thinking too much.
319
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:03,892
Let's say you were
a racecar driver... Oh.
320
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,428
And you're taking
your turns at Indy.
321
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:09,131
Indy, aahh!
322
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:11,333
Passing Unser. See
you, buddy. Sucker!
323
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,069
Aah!
324
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,470
Ah, Tim, you're
doing quite well.
325
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:15,971
Finish line's right up
there, checkered flag.
326
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:17,906
Don't look in the
mirror. Aahh! Mirrors?
327
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,975
Forget about the minicam.
Minicam's right back here.
328
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,777
Don't wave at the... Aah!
329
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:24,746
Oh! Uh-oh. You hit the wall.
330
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,582
(makes car-passing noises)
331
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,618
They're all passing
me. I was so close to it.
332
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,153
Well, Tim, you were doing
fine when you weren't thinking
333
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:34,123
about the minicam or
the mirrors and such.
334
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:36,992
You were going on instinct.
You were one with the car.
335
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,427
You were Zen-like.
336
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,829
I was Zen-like. Mm-hmm.
337
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:44,333
I never met Zen.
What was he like?
338
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,735
No, no, no, Tim.
Zen is a state of mind.
339
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,504
Like when you dance,
you can't worry about
340
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,439
what your hands and
your feet are doing.
341
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:54,110
You just have to let the music
envelop you. That's what I do.
342
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:56,378
Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
343
00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:58,680
Left, right, cha-cha-cha.
344
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,649
Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
345
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,851
Left, right, cha-cha-cha.
346
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,886
Work with me, Tim.
347
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:06,822
Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
348
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,824
Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
349
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,859
One, two, three, cha-cha-cha.
I think I got it, I got it.
350
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,762
All right, Tim. We're gonna
do a turn. Let yourself go.
351
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,098
Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
352
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:18,700
Left, right, cha-cha-cha.
353
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:20,858
Wilson, I think...
I think I got it!
354
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:24,940
Come on, Jill, hurry
up. Are you still mad?
355
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:27,276
Are you going to dinner with me?
356
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,645
Yes, of course I'm going to
dinner with you. I'm not mad.
357
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,348
8:00 reservations. We
still have to exchange gifts.
358
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,350
How about, "You look pretty"?
359
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,519
Thanks. I changed my hair.
360
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:39,121
I'm using that raspberry
mousse of yours. It's very fragrant.
361
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:42,891
Where's my gift? Close
your eyes. Shut your mouth.
362
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:47,663
Now, I just know you're gonna
be so surprised about this.
363
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,532
Ta-da! Oh!
364
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:52,501
This is great. This is great.
365
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,935
Oh, wow!
366
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:58,740
What a pretty sweater.
You have such good taste.
367
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,576
Happy anniversary.
Happy anniversary.
368
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,645
I love you, and I love this, and
thanks for thinking about me.
369
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:05,447
I love you.
370
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:07,449
Well, enough of that. OK.
371
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,685
Now, did you give
Al enough money
372
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,787
to get the kids
popcorn at the movies?
373
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:15,857
Yeah. He wanted some
extra for Milk Duds for himself.
374
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,693
Did you give him the
number at Chez Pierre?
375
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,528
We're not going to Chez Pierre.
We're going to the Excalibur.
376
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:22,731
Oh, honey, you were supposed
to cancel those reservations.
377
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:25,201
That's when you didn't
like dancing with me.
378
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:26,502
I don't want to
hurt your feelings,
379
00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:28,571
but I still don't want
to dance with you.
380
00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:31,674
I'd hold that
opinion if I were you.
381
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:34,098
(♪ ballroom)
382
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,611
What is this?
383
00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:55,897
(laughs)
384
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,088
Whoa!
385
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,371
Wow!
386
00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:05,507
What happened? Two days
ago, all you could do was disco.
387
00:21:05,531 --> 00:21:07,543
I met a man named Zen.
388
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:09,845
If you think you can
keep up, please join in.
389
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,736
OK.
390
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,678
Huh.
391
00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:28,152
(grunts)
392
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:32,503
Shall we do the Momo
step? Do the Momo step.
393
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,273
You like this thing, don't
you? I love this thing.
394
00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:40,598
I bought it on your
cha-cha-charge account.
395
00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:44,335
(makes car noise)
396
00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:49,385
Try to picture yourself... 1993.
397
00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:52,120
It's the Motor City.
398
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:56,046
We lock eyes across
a huge hardware store.
399
00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:07,224
The love focus.
400
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:23,118
So...
401
00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:24,720
honey...
402
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:27,889
you were so amazing last night.
403
00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:29,953
On the dance floor.
On the dance floor?
404
00:22:31,784 --> 00:22:34,896
I especially liked this
tablecloth thing you did.
405
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,021
That was cool, wasn't it?
Yes. It was so sexy when you...
406
00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:47,231
How did you do that?
407
00:22:50,336 --> 00:22:51,880
(Jill) Brad! The bus is here,
408
00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:54,750
and you still have, uh, to
brush your teeth, and, um...
409
00:22:54,774 --> 00:22:57,052
and, uh...
410
00:22:57,076 --> 00:22:59,176
(laughter)
411
00:23:01,748 --> 00:23:04,760
Ooh. The wheels fell
off of that one real quick.
412
00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:06,328
Once you find out
what I've bought you,
413
00:23:06,352 --> 00:23:08,364
you're gonna want to fill
my head with cannonballs
414
00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:10,020
and powder my behind.
415
00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:21,084
(Jill) Could you say that again?
416
00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:26,804
I'm OK.
416
00:23:27,305 --> 00:24:27,432
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