1
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:13,090
When cutting the shelving
for your entertainment center,
2
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,425
you want to remember
the old carpenters' adage,
3
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,227
"Measure twice, cut once."
4
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:19,929
Yeah, but what about the
other adage by the Carpenters?
5
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:24,368
♪ Why do birds suddenly appear
6
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:26,103
♪ When you're near...? ♪
7
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:28,705
If you'd like plans for
our entertainment center,
8
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,307
write to us, Tool Time,
9
00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:32,709
and ask for Tool Time plan A340.
10
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:36,013
But A340 won't include
the little adjustment I made.
11
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:38,248
And what little adjustment
would that be, Tim?
12
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:42,219
I installed a little swing-out
drawer for the VCR.
13
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:45,222
Well, plan A340 does not
require a pull-out drawer
14
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:47,424
and will not be
in the blueprints.
15
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:51,061
Al, Al, Al.
16
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:54,197
Let's not get hung up on
blueprints, shall we, Al?
17
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,199
Let's think about
the many things in life
18
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:59,636
that have been built just on the
old noggin using the imagination.
19
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:02,039
Like the Seven
Wonders of the World.
20
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:05,242
I believe the Sphinx required
extensive blueprints, Tim.
21
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:10,147
Al, Al, Al.
22
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:13,883
I'm talking about the seven
wonders of the manly world.
23
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,053
Wing nuts.
24
00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:17,454
Oh-ho-ho.
25
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:21,425
The athletic cup. Ha-ha-ha-ha!
26
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,560
Gatorade.
27
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,995
You're comparing
Gatorade to the Sphinx?
28
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:29,266
Has the Sphinx ever
replaced your electrolytes?
29
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:31,501
I don't think so, Al.
30
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:34,204
Tim, can we stop this nonsense
31
00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:37,140
and please get back
to our project at hand?
32
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:40,210
As you can see, I've added a
new roller on the drawer here
33
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,345
using Binford's new
easy-glide system.
34
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:44,814
It's Teflon coated, so it's
just like fluid movements.
35
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:48,118
Well, I hope you put stops
on the front of the track, Tim.
36
00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:51,121
Gosh, I hope I did. Otherwise,
think, it would fall right out.
37
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:53,590
(laughing)
38
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,925
It worked. I apologize.
39
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:59,189
It is fluid-like movement, 'cause you can
move your VCR in and out just like that.
40
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:07,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
41
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:18,629
Well, what do you think? Can
we put the kids in the middle?
42
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:24,447
Come on, Isiah. Here
he goes. There he...
43
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:27,217
Drives a lane, he
shoots, he scores!
44
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,718
All right!
45
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,720
Dad, what game are you watching?
46
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,989
I taped the Piston-Bulls
game from last night.
47
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,791
Oh, great game. The
Pistons... N-N-No. Quiet!
48
00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:38,427
I don't wanna know the score. I didn't
see it last night. That's why I taped it.
49
00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:39,896
I didn't look at the paper.
50
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,498
So you don't want us to
ruin the surprise for you.
51
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,500
Yeah, brainiac. That's the idea.
52
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,769
Aren't there some ants
you can burn somewhere
53
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,604
or something like that?
54
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,874
Brad, this has gotta
be worth something.
55
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,409
I mean, at least
a couple of bucks.
56
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,912
It's not worth any bucks. Nothing.
You're getting no money, OK?
57
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,915
OK, but, you know, we wouldn't
want the score to accidentally...
58
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,149
Quiet. Quiet!
59
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,252
Like 98... All right!
60
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:05,221
Boy, oh, boy, you guys.
61
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,756
Here. Take all I got.
62
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,020
Dad, we meant two bucks each.
63
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:13,229
Come on. Don't mess up
my suit. Go, go, go. Get out.
64
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,065
Tim, will you sign
this card for Sheila?
65
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,667
Not now. I'm watching this
Piston-Bulls game I taped.
66
00:04:18,691 --> 00:04:21,304
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
The Bulls. That's, uh...
67
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:23,572
Marvin Jordan, right?
68
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,175
Yeah, Marvin... Michael
Jordan. Michael Jordan.
69
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,511
Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
Don't get too involved in it.
70
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:31,781
When Karen gets here, we gotta go
to Sheila's wedding. What's the hurry?
71
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,783
The groom probably
won't even show up.
72
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,785
Don't say that, don't
say that! It's bad luck.
73
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,787
How much worse luck
can the woman have?
74
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,789
She's been jilted at the
altar, like, three times.
75
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,357
(doorbell rings) I know.
76
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:44,627
I'm in the wedding this time.
I'm going to bring her luck.
77
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:47,863
You were in our wedding. It
didn't bring us that much luck.
78
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:51,234
Very funny!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Come in.
79
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:52,335
Hi. Hi.
80
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,837
Thank you so much
for baby-sitting for us.
81
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,539
It's my pleasure.
82
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:58,241
Hi, Karen. Hey, Mark.
83
00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:00,376
Ready for a hot hand of Go Fish?
84
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,845
Sure, I'll run and
get the cards.
85
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:03,846
Hey, Tim.
86
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,615
Oh, don't bother to get up.
87
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:09,085
Wasn't even thinking about it.
88
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:12,155
Tim, it is so noisy. Can
you turn it down, please?
89
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:16,826
OK, tell me everything. Is it a big
wedding, he spending a fortune?
90
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:20,129
Yes, I really - I can't
believe it. I mean...
91
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:24,400
Her father keeps...
It's not working, hon.
92
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:27,070
He's gonna be
spending, like, $4,000
93
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,171
on the flowers alone.
94
00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:30,573
$4,000? Yeah.
95
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:32,241
That's right. She's 38.
96
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:35,144
He'd pay anything to get
her out of the house now.
97
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:38,481
All right, where's the slam
about me being 36 and single?
98
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,583
That was last year.
99
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,341
Now you're 37 and desperate.
100
00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:45,921
Not true.
101
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:48,992
Just so happens I'm
dating a very nice attorney.
102
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,027
He took me to the
Pistons' game last night.
103
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:53,429
Oh, that's the game that
Tim is watching right now.
104
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:56,721
Oh, yeah. Wasn't that great when
the Pistons won it right at the buzzer?
105
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:03,995
Oh, come on, Tim. You weren't
gonna see the whole game anyway.
106
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:09,678
What did you do with that list of
instructions that Sheila gave us?
107
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:12,348
I tossed 'em out. Oh, no! Why?
108
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,184
We have been to North Adams
a hundred times. I need those.
109
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,021
They're very specific to get
to that church. Here they are.
110
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,256
I know the church. She's almost
been married there three times.
111
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:23,493
You just follow the
teardrops right up to the door.
112
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:26,529
I can't take any chances. I have
to be there a couple of hours early.
113
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,432
I think you're forgetting who has the
radarlike sense of direction around here.
114
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:30,599
Tim? Yeah?
115
00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:32,757
Car is out front.
116
00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:38,196
Well, the radar doesn't really
kick in till you get in the car.
117
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:57,660
Tim, I don't think
we're on the right road.
118
00:06:57,684 --> 00:07:00,663
We're fine. We followed
all the signs for the detour.
119
00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:02,665
Sheila said that
after 45 minutes
120
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:05,523
we should pass a 20-foot
guy holding a huge doughnut.
121
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,504
Well, we missed him.
122
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:11,648
Maybe he's out looking for a
40-foot cup of coffee to dunk it in.
123
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,945
Tim, what road are we on?
124
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:19,348
127, heading south. 127.
125
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:21,350
Sheila said that we
would see a place
126
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:24,153
called Rhonda's
Discount Hair Outlet.
127
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:26,655
Does Sheila know the
roads actually have numbers?
128
00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:28,357
94, 127?
129
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,960
There's no Interstate
Big Guy With A Doughnut.
130
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,295
Honey, we're fine.
131
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:35,565
We took 94 west, just past
Ann Arbor, south on 127,
132
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:39,202
looking for County Line
Road, right into North Adams.
133
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,971
Tim, that sign.
It just said 223.
134
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,872
It can't be. I haven't
turned off 127.
135
00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:45,808
Well, maybe we should
stop and ask for directions.
136
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:49,345
Honey, I know where we're
going. I know where we are.
137
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:51,547
There's a sign. Adrian, 6 miles.
138
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:53,082
OK, Adrian.
139
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,651
Adrian is on 223.
We're down and right.
140
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:57,653
We're supposed
to be up and left.
141
00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:59,788
Thank you, Rand McNally.
Do you mean north and west?
142
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:02,291
We have gone way
out of the way. Way out.
143
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,494
No, we haven't. We're
only an inch or so.
144
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:07,530
I see. So when we hit Ecuador,
145
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:10,666
you'll just say we're off
by about a foot and a half?
146
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,868
Honey, we're fine.
Ask for directions.
147
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:16,005
By the time I stop and ask for directions,
we're gonna be where we're going.
148
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,007
Not if you drive
around in circles.
149
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,509
Watch the map, please. What?
150
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,544
You're folding it
wrong. Folding it wrong?
151
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:24,213
Who died and made you
the map police? Honey!
152
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:27,038
(car horn)
153
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:36,492
Tim, my feet are
freezing. I'm starving.
154
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,894
Eat your feet.
155
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:41,830
Fine. But I'm not
giving you any.
156
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,199
Oh, come on.
157
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,201
I got some Life Savers.
That'll hold you over.
158
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:49,272
Thank you. Why can't we
just stop and ask for directions?
159
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,340
Because we're almost there.
160
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,342
Tim, I have to be
there early enough
161
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,344
to be able to put my dress on.
162
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,881
We're close. Next sign
you see will be North Adams.
163
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:01,305
Right there. What's that say?
164
00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:05,443
"Welcome to Ohio."
165
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:16,699
Well, we won't be needing
that Michigan map now, will we?
166
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:21,070
If we hit Kentucky,
I'm filing for divorce.
167
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,472
All right, all right.
I'll pull it over.
168
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:27,943
You know, seeing that
sign was a good thing,
169
00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:30,846
'cause now we know
170
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:33,416
that we are finally
in the right direction.
171
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,051
Oh, good. Pull up to
that minimart over there.
172
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:39,355
You can find out how to get to North
Adams. I don't need directions now.
173
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:42,358
Stop and ask for directions, or
I will get up early every morning
174
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:45,082
and burn your sports section.
175
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,278
Whoo, boy!
176
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,447
Cold out there.
177
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:07,082
Officer. Hi, there.
What can I do for you?
178
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:10,052
I'm on my way to a
wedding. I gotta find 127.
179
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:12,087
127? That's pretty far. Yeah.
180
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:14,457
You're really lost.
181
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:16,147
Way lost.
182
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:25,701
Well, I was letting my
wife do the navigating.
183
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:27,936
You know how that is.
184
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,973
OK. You're on County Road 6.
185
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:34,377
You wanna follow that
north 2/10 of a mile to 20.
186
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,379
20. Is north right
or left? It's left.
187
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,747
Thanks a lot,
you guys. All right.
188
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:40,849
No, you can't go that
way. Sure he can, Marty.
189
00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:44,453
Nah, radio says County
Road 6 closed near 20, John.
190
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,521
Fallen tree.
191
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,556
Oh, yeah.
192
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,626
You can take County Road
6, turn west on Elmwood.
193
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,562
Which is right before Oakwood, so
you hit Oakwood, you've gone too far.
194
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:56,365
OK. What's before Elmwood?
195
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:59,324
Edgewood, but what do you
care? You're going to Elmwood.
196
00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:03,706
Thanks, guys.
197
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:06,776
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. What am I talking about?
198
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,345
Elmwood's closed. Fallen tree?
199
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:12,981
No. A dead cow.
200
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,751
Yeah, frozen to the highway.
201
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:19,188
What? Happens a lot.
202
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,290
Go north. That's left.
203
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:22,958
All right. OK?
204
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:25,328
Now, at Beechwood
you turn east. That's right.
205
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,162
Now, Beechwood becomes Route 2,
206
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:29,465
but you won't know that,
'cause it's called Evelyn.
207
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:32,535
But it doesn't matter, 'cause
the sign blew down. Sign's down.
208
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,970
OK. Now, continue
going east on Evelyn,
209
00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:37,306
also known as
Beechwood, a.k.a. Route 2,
210
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,774
till the fork in the road.
211
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:42,077
Now, north/left is Carmelita,
right/south is Maple.
212
00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:45,080
You want right/south
Maple. Got that?
213
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:47,638
Cows freeze to
the highway a lot?
214
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:59,562
This is insane.
215
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:03,766
Getting dressed in
the backseat of a car.
216
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,701
I cannot believe it.
217
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,404
You look terrific. Look...
218
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,874
Why are we not there yet?
219
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,877
I mean, didn't we get those
directions, like, an hour ago?
220
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:19,281
No, no. It wasn't that long, and
we're almost there, honey. We're close.
221
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:23,252
Boy, it's been a long time since you've
been undressed in the back of this car.
222
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,354
Please just keep driving.
223
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,890
You know, sometimes I
forget just how sexy you are.
224
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,246
Well, keep forgetting.
225
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,095
(car horn)
226
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:37,433
Will you keep your
eyes on the road?! I can't.
227
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:40,002
This storm is getting worse.
I can barely see anything.
228
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,004
Oh, look. There's
some lights up there.
229
00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:44,540
Just pull up into that place
and find out where we are.
230
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:47,510
We're in North
Adams. I can feel it.
231
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:50,646
Oh, just pull in and see.
232
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:51,950
Stay here.
233
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,489
Oh, boy.
234
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,124
Killer night.
235
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:03,347
Oh, no.
236
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:09,965
Hey! How's it going?
237
00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:13,168
I'm in hell.
238
00:13:13,192 --> 00:13:14,603
How was the wedding?
239
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,005
Terrific. Oh, what a great time.
240
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:18,974
Now, if I gotta head
back to that wedding,
241
00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:21,209
what would be the best
way to get back there now?
242
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:22,478
Why would you wanna go back?
243
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,880
My wife left her purse there.
244
00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:26,882
Just like a woman, huh?
245
00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:28,339
You're lost again, huh?
246
00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:32,822
Tim, do you know
where we are now?
247
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:36,358
Yeah, I know exactly where
we are. Oh, that's good. Hi.
248
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:39,784
I think I'd better call the church
and tell 'em that we're gonna be late.
249
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:51,540
So, this must be
your lovely wife, huh?
250
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:54,677
Ye...
251
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,379
Jill?
252
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:59,483
Do you feel a draft at all?
253
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,555
Area code 419?
254
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,591
Are we still in Ohio?
255
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:12,294
Yes, ma'am. The Buckeye State.
256
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:15,330
Didn't you tell me that
we were in North Adams?
257
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,833
I said I know exactly
where North Adams is.
258
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,569
Sure does. We gave him
directions over an hour ago.
259
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,237
You gave him directions? Oh, no.
260
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:24,072
Is this the place that
we stopped before?
261
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:26,196
Sure. We haven't moved.
262
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,379
How did you do this?
263
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,381
Well, I was a little
confused with the blizzard.
264
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,383
You were naked in the backseat.
265
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:38,487
Oh, hey, hey. Come on, now.
This is Ohio. We have laws.
266
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,489
I think you're just
happy about this.
267
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:43,792
Oh, yeah. Thrilled.
Look at me. Ha-ha-ha.
268
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:46,795
This is how I planned it, man. Drive
around three hours. Blizzard. Get lost.
269
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:49,787
End up in Marty's
minimart here in Ohio.
270
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:58,306
You folks own that red station
wagon out there? Yes, we do.
271
00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:00,142
It's rolling backwards
down Elmwood.
272
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:03,233
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa!
273
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,815
Does anybody have any...
274
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,316
Karen. What?
275
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:11,453
Don't cheat. Cheating?
I wasn't cheating.
276
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:14,322
I was just checking to see if Mark
needed some more hot chocolate.
277
00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:16,258
I'll get some. OK.
278
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:20,796
Does anybody have any... fours?
279
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:23,888
Darn it! You guys always win.
280
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:29,471
Hi, everybody. Whoa, Dad.
281
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,941
Who are you - Frosty the Mudman?
282
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,276
I really don't need
to hear this now, OK?
283
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,445
You obviously got the
car dug out of the ditch.
284
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,447
We got the car out of the ditch.
285
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:41,584
Mom must have been mad
when you got lost in Ohio.
286
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,886
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
287
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,988
No, she loved it. It was
the best night of her life.
288
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:48,223
(Brad and Randy) Yeah, right.
289
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:51,807
I guess that's why you didn't
come home with your wife.
290
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:56,420
Over the edge?
Way over the edge.
291
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,603
Uncle Bill took
her to the wedding.
292
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,204
He's gonna drop
her off a little later.
293
00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:03,706
Why didn't you go?
294
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,440
Go like this?
295
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,710
Mudman?
296
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:11,279
I think it's time you guys went to
bed. And wash up before you go.
297
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:13,623
Look who's
talking. I heard that.
298
00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:16,184
Thanks for watching these guys.
299
00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:18,721
How were they?
Oh, they were great.
300
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,555
Did somebody get
the Red Wings game
301
00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:23,225
on videotape like I
wanted? Oh, yeah, yeah.
302
00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:25,415
It was a great game. The
Red Wings won 3 to 2 -
303
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:32,801
Guess you didn't
wanna hear that, did you?
304
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:33,825
Night.
305
00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:39,808
Hi-ho, Tim.
306
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,844
Hi, Wilson. You're up
late. What are you doing?
307
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:45,480
I'm just packing some snow to send
to my cousin Ernie in Pango Pango.
308
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,616
He really misses the winter.
309
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,585
He does? Of course,
he pays me for it.
310
00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:53,856
And let me tell you, there's
no business like snow business.
311
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,357
(laughs)
312
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:57,581
Oh, I'm on a roll.
313
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:03,365
You won't believe
the night I've had.
314
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:06,869
Well, from the looks of you, I would
say that you pushed a car out of a ditch,
315
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,904
and from the nature and
texture of your clothes,
316
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:12,641
I would say you were
somewhere in... Ohio?
317
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,242
From the sound of that,
318
00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:16,611
I'd say you were
talking to Karen.
319
00:17:16,635 --> 00:17:19,148
I can't fool you, neighbor Tim.
320
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:21,150
Did you hear the whole story?
321
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,251
Spent half the night
driving around in circles.
322
00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:26,421
Mm-hmm. Through a
couple of states, I believe.
323
00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:29,158
All Jill wanted me to do
was stop and ask directions.
324
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:31,894
I didn't do it because I
hate asking for directions.
325
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:34,496
Well, all men do. It makes
them feel subservient.
326
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,099
I really was sure that I
knew where I was going.
327
00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:38,600
I sensed it, you know?
328
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,602
That's because men
navigate by instincts
329
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,571
and women navigate by landmarks.
330
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:46,308
Yeah, she kept talking about
some huge man with a doughnut.
331
00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:50,445
Oh, sure. That's the sign
for Bill's Big Bun Bonanza.
332
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:55,584
It's the turnoff to
North Adams. (grunts)
333
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:58,087
Huh. I should have
just done what she said.
334
00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,723
Got directions and
forget my stupid instincts.
335
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:04,326
Oh, Tim, don't sell your
stupid instincts short.
336
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:07,295
Do you realize that people
have a tiny compass in their nose?
337
00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:10,265
I was never aware of that, no.
338
00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:11,967
Yes, it's true.
339
00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:14,669
People have a tiny iron
deposit in their nose.
340
00:18:14,693 --> 00:18:17,873
It's... (nasally) right up
here near the ethmoid bone.
341
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:20,142
(normal voice) And that gives
them directions to magnetic north,
342
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:22,778
and since men have more
iron in their bodies than women,
343
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:26,048
it only follows that they
would make a better compass.
344
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:28,050
(nasally) If I have
such good instincts,
345
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:30,552
how come I couldn't find the
wedding? Pardon me, Tim?
346
00:18:30,576 --> 00:18:32,554
If I have such good instincts...
347
00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,556
how come I couldn't
find the wedding?
348
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,859
A map is a little more
accurate than your nose.
349
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:39,984
Plus it's a heck of
a lot easier to fold.
350
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,665
Oh, here comes your
beautiful bride, Tim.
351
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,622
Good night, Wilson.
352
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,603
Hi.
353
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:49,905
Hi.
354
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,306
How'd the wedding go?
355
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:55,632
There wasn't one.
She got stood up again.
356
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:58,247
Not again?
357
00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,748
I couldn't believe it.
358
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:03,351
The guy called the caterer
and canceled the dinner.
359
00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:06,354
The caterer broke it to Sheila
in kind of a mean way, too.
360
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,356
Walked over to the wedding cake
361
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:10,647
and just ripped the
groom right off the top.
362
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:20,602
Just left a shin and a
knee bone there, huh?
363
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:23,105
Sheila told
everybody to go home.
364
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:26,175
You should have seen Aunt Merle
trying to stuff all the jumbo shrimp
365
00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:28,177
in her purse before she left.
366
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,179
This was too big
to fit in the purse?
367
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,014
She got the bottom three layers.
368
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:35,383
When I left, Sheila was
crying into her double bourbon,
369
00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:39,054
having to listen to that nephew
of hers - you know, Todd -
370
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,790
play "You Light Up My
Life" on the accordion.
371
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:45,294
Some night, huh? You know my
direction's usually better than that.
372
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:49,854
I just got all disoriented, even though
my nose is filled with iron boogers.
373
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:57,239
What? Don't worry.
You got 'em too.
374
00:19:57,263 --> 00:20:01,109
No. Don't explain,
don't explain.
375
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:03,912
I've already decided that this
whole night is poor Sheila's fault.
376
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:05,513
I mean, the woman is cursed.
377
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:07,515
Did you get anything
to eat? Mnh-mnh.
378
00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,017
You want some cake? Sure.
379
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,342
Would you get some
forks and knives?
380
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:18,460
Let's see.
381
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:20,795
You know what
this reminds me of?
382
00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:23,365
Yes. Our wedding.
383
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:26,601
Our wedding was so beautiful.
384
00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:29,371
I am so glad that I
didn't let anybody
385
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:32,296
talk me out of marrying you.
386
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:37,779
Who tried to talk you
out of marrying me?
387
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:40,448
Oh, no one. You know, just...
388
00:20:40,472 --> 00:20:44,152
my mom, my dad,
my sisters, my friends.
389
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:46,755
The minister.
390
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:50,692
The postman. Some
guy down at the mailbox.
391
00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:53,595
You know. Oh,
and Sheila... Yeah.
392
00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:55,097
Who said to me,
393
00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:58,688
"Don't marry him. I know
a loser when I see one."
394
00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:02,004
Well, good thing she was wrong.
395
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:03,994
Who said she was wrong?
396
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:17,308
This is the best cake
Sheila's ever had.
397
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,923
I'm never getting married.
398
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:24,659
You and Sheila
have a lot in common.
399
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:27,529
Dad, what was your wedding like?
400
00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:29,298
Your mom really loved it.
401
00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:32,100
But I gotta be honest.
Weddings aren't really for men.
402
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,069
What do you mean?
403
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:37,072
I mean women, they invent
weddings for other women.
404
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:39,574
Flower girls tossing
little petals around.
405
00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:42,077
All the bridesmaids look
like big swollen daffodils
406
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:45,447
in these little taffeta gowns.
407
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:48,150
Well, then why get married?
408
00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:52,254
Well, 'cause one day you
meet a real wonderful girl...
409
00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:55,279
who'll badger you into
thinking it's a great idea.
410
00:21:57,116 --> 00:21:59,383
Is that right? Hey.
411
00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:03,565
Did you see her over there?
412
00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:07,402
So, tell me, Mr. Wedding
Genius Expert,
413
00:22:07,426 --> 00:22:09,571
how would you plan a wedding?
414
00:22:09,595 --> 00:22:12,074
Oh, easy. I'd go with
that football theme.
415
00:22:12,098 --> 00:22:13,641
The old gridiron wedding.
416
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:15,944
Have the minister stand up
there, and where he stands,
417
00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:18,447
you put one of those
wide-screen TVs right behind him
418
00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:20,482
so you can catch the play-offs.
419
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:23,051
Then right at the right
moment, the minister would say,
420
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:26,554
"You may raise the
helmet and kiss the bride."
421
00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:29,380
Then you'd spike the
ball and carry her off.
422
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,630
So I don't hear any complaints
about the honeymoon.
423
00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:37,599
You wouldn't do
anything to change that?
424
00:22:37,623 --> 00:22:39,667
Oh, yeah, yeah.
After the wedding,
425
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:41,669
you take the bride back to
the honeymoon suite... Yeah.
426
00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:43,872
Lower the lights, turn
on some music... Yeah.
427
00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:45,507
Play some air hockey.
428
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,775
Well, I like that. OK.
429
00:22:47,799 --> 00:22:50,545
So, how many games
would you be up for?
430
00:22:50,569 --> 00:22:52,680
How many quarters
you got, little lady?
431
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:55,017
I got a whole new roll.
432
00:22:55,041 --> 00:22:57,474
Oh, no.
433
00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:04,726
Why can't we just stop
and ask for directions?
434
00:23:04,750 --> 00:23:07,062
Because we're almost there.
435
00:23:07,086 --> 00:23:08,563
No, it's 6:30.
436
00:23:08,587 --> 00:23:11,266
I was supposed to be
there, like, a half an hour ago.
437
00:23:11,290 --> 00:23:12,734
Come on, honey.
438
00:23:12,758 --> 00:23:16,060
I don't have any idea
what my line is. (laughs)
439
00:23:17,796 --> 00:23:19,841
It's good cake, isn't it? Yummy.
440
00:23:19,865 --> 00:23:22,966
Yummy. Yeah. Really
good up the nose, too.
440
00:23:23,305 --> 00:24:23,480
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