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Tool Time! That's right.
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Binford Tools is
proud to present
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Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!
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(cheers and applause)
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Thank you.
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Thank you. Welcome to Tool Time.
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I'm your host Tim
"The Tool Man” Taylor.
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'Course, you all know my
assistant Al "I live for Bingo" Borland.
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Here on Tool Time
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we've showed you many
different ways to cut wood,
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but nothing as fun as today.
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Al, if we were gonna cut that
piece of pine, what would you select?
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Well, Tim, I'd probably use
the Binford 2200 Circular Saw.
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Mm, good choice. Ooh, but
what if we'd blown a fuse?
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I see we're at your house.
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Well, then I'd use my
trusty crosscut saw.
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That's a good
choice, but not today.
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Today we have
something special for you,
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and for that, we have to
bring out a very special guest.
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And I expect a big Tool
Time round of applause
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for Robert "the
Human Hatchet" Cho!
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(cheers and applause)
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If you were to cut
that piece of pine,
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would you want to use
a circular saw for that?
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Won't be necessary,
Tim. Hacksaw?
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No, no. Coping saw?
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(yelling)
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Whoo.
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Here's a man who doesn't
worry about losing his house keys.
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Ha! I'm in!
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Mr. Cho is here to publicize
the karate demonstration
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this Tuesday night
at the Fox Theater
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to benefit the
Children's Hospital.
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That's right. Karate. Boy,
there's a sport with more power.
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Ar-ar. Oh-ho-ho-ho.
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That's right, Tim, but the
secret is to channel that power
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through focus and concentration.
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Yeah. Two things I excel at.
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Well, that and driving yourself
to the hospital while bleeding.
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Are you saying I couldn't
break that board with my head?
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Well, Tim, he says it takes
focus and concentration,
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and I think we all know
which one of us has that.
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You think you can break
this board with your head?
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Yes, I do. Oh, really?
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I don't think it's such a good
idea, Al. I... My show here, OK?
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You're up to the
challenge, right, Al?
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It's all right.
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(inhales deeply)
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00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:36,699
(yells)
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(loud cheering)
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Uh, Tim. Tim.
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I don't think you should
try this. Hey, quiet.
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There's one thing you
should... You've said enough.
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You should know... It's
my show. I can do this.
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(inhales deeply)
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(hisses)
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(yells pseudo-Japanese)
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I was gonna say I have
studied karate, Tim.
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Buford Tools -
Messages. We have 'em.
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We'll be right back.
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Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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Well, what do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
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Spaghetti sauce smells
terrific. Thank you.
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Honey, um, this
breadstick is too long
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for the bread basket.
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00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,380
Could you break
that with your head?
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I think I can
handle that. Focus.
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I can handle it.
I can handle it.
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(mumbles in pseudo-Japanese)
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Hyah! Ah.
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Hey, Dad. Think fast.
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Not in the house!
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You guys are jerks.
Aw, go play in quicksand.
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00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,783
Oh, shut up.
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00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,419
Stop it. Come over
here. What's going on?
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They won't let me
play football with them.
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Still? Guys, how many
times do we have to tell you?
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Let your brother play.
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We were just about to put him in the
game when everyone had to go home.
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Yeah, that's right.
You guys are lying.
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00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:25,568
Hey, hey, let me handle
this. You guys are lying.
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00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:27,270
Yeah.
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00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:30,006
Mark, get out of here for a
minute. We'll talk to them.
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Stop doing that stuff. What's
the matter with you guys?
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Dad, he's a huge geek.
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That is enough.
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00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,682
Now listen, the next time
he wants to play, include him.
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Dad, he's always running
out of bounds. He's chicken.
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00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:45,488
He's not chicken. He just doesn't
have a lot of self-confidence.
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He's afraid of getting hit.
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Just tell the other guys that he
has some kind of horrible rash
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and they shouldn't touch him.
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Yeah, right. Yeah, right.
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Why don't you teach him
something about football?
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00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,735
Like right now, I'll teach you
guys how to go a long pass.
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Go long, come on. In there.
Swerve now. Long! Go! Come on!
97
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,940
Longer! Go long!
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00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:06,042
Post pattern. Go! Go!
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00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,345
(Brad) Dad, come
on! I'm in the bathroom!
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00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:11,135
Well, shut the door
and take a shower.
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I think you're right about Mark.
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I think that he just has a
self-confidence problem.
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We should find him something
that he can be good at.
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I got it. I got it. How about...
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(mumbles in pseudo-Japanese)
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Flight attendant?
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Karate.
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No, no. Karate is too violent.
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What about gymnastics?
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That's a wonderful sport,
and he won't get hurt.
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He won't get hurt?
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One slip on the
pommel horse - boom.
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Why don't we just let Mark
decide? There's an idea.
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Hey, Mark, come down
here! (Mark) Coming!
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I'll just ask him which he
prefers, gymnastics or karate.
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I'll ask him. No,
no, no. I know you.
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You'll just try
to influence him.
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I am gonna be fair
and objective. No tricks.
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I won't say a word.
OK, Mark. Sit down.
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Your father and I were
just talking and, uh...
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We think that since Brad and Randy
won't ever let you play with them,
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you should take some class
where everyone gets to participate.
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00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,639
So, what do you think?
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You wanna take
gymnastics or... karate?
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I can take karate?
126
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,215
All right.
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Before you decide...
Before you decide...
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Do you remember when
we watched the Olympics
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and we saw those
handsome American gymnasts
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get their gold medals?
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Jill...
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Shut up.
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They were standing, remember,
on that podium, so proud,
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and the American flag was raised
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and "The Star-Spangled
Banner" was playing,
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00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:45,542
and America wept.
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Please! Remember that?
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That could be you.
That could be you.
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Mark Taylor, gymnast,
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00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,650
representing the entire
United States of America.
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When does he get his
Congressional Medal of Honor?
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Or you could take karate
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and, you know,
probably lose some teeth.
144
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,259
Or slip on a pommel
horse and squish your little...
145
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:07,163
Tim... don't try
to influence him.
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I've just got one
thing to say to you.
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(yells in pseudo-Japanese)
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Tanaka Mothra!
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Karate! All right.
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Yes!
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00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:19,430
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
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00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:23,546
OK, everyone stand up.
"Yes, sensei." (all) Yes, sensei.
153
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:24,714
Push back.
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00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,716
I'm gonna show
you a little piece
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of the demonstration I'm
gonna do this weekend.
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(Cho yelling)
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Tim? Yeah?
158
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Having a muscle spasm? No, I
was working some karate moves.
159
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Oh, is that what that was?
160
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,379
You OK?
161
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:57,614
OK, class.
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Line up. Yes, sensei!
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00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,783
Yes, sensei.
164
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:02,919
Horse stance, one. Hands out.
165
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,321
(Jill) Hi.
166
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:06,589
Hi, Mark.
167
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,424
Kids don't wave at their moms
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during karate class.
169
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,661
Fighting stance. Ready? Loud.
170
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:14,363
Ich, ni, san, hyah!
171
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,600
Look at that. He's got
his fists clenched so tight
172
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,702
his little knuckles
are turning white.
173
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,704
Couldn't he...
loosen that up some?
174
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,040
Oh, yeah, loose fist makes
a very effective weapon.
175
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,543
That's how come boxers always
come together with the referee.
176
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,545
"All right, guys.
Come out slapping."
177
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:31,047
"Take that, you big mean
man. Take that, take that."
178
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,516
Stop it.
179
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:36,419
He does look real
cute doing this.
180
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,254
Well, I don't know.
181
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,757
Maybe karate's
not so bad after all.
182
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,592
It seems pretty harmless.
183
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,794
I really should get
home and start dinner.
184
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,796
I'll see you later.
See you later.
185
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:50,260
Now we're gonna do some
free fighting. Push back.
186
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:53,603
Free fighting? What
is that? It's just a term.
187
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:56,873
So is "cracked fibula."
188
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,976
I've asked two boys from my advanced
class to do a demonstration for you.
189
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,612
Face each other.
Bow. Fighting stance.
190
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:04,268
(boys yelling)
191
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,806
(Cho) 2, 3.
192
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:13,089
This is what you
have to look forward to.
193
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:16,525
I don't think so. It's
pommel horse time.
194
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:19,696
Come on, sit down. These are
the experienced - advanced class.
195
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,198
Mark won't be able to kill
anybody till he's 10 or 11.
196
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:23,766
Oh, that's comforting.
197
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:27,169
Everyone, stand up.
Get a partner, quick.
198
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,572
Grab a partner.
Let's go. Let's go.
199
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,808
You two, up front.
200
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,309
Hey, this isn't fair.
201
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,511
That kid's way
bigger than Mark. Shh.
202
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:38,369
All right, Artie. Get ready
to kick some butt, huh?
203
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,855
Boy, there's a mom
you could love, huh?
204
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:48,124
Yeah, that butt she
wants kicked is Mark's.
205
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,226
It's just an exercise. Mark,
go on. Come on, buddy.
206
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:54,330
1, 2! That's it, see?
Keep your hands up.
207
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:57,734
Did you see that? That kid slapped
him when the teacher wasn't looking.
208
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:00,069
Mark, let it go, buddy.
Let it go. Focus, come on.
209
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:03,561
(Cho) High block, knife hand.
1, 2! Artie, grind him up, huh?
210
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,276
Excuse me.
211
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,279
Ma'am, um, I don't think you
should be encouraging your child
212
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,914
in this sort of behavior.
213
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,483
What are you talking about?
He just slapped my boy.
214
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,687
It's karate class.
That's what it's all about.
215
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,723
No. Slapping is not
what it is all about.
216
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,959
Hey, if stick boy can't take it,
217
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:26,262
get him out of
here. He did it again!
218
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,631
Come on, tell your
kid to stop playing dirty.
219
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:30,266
Listen, they are
just having fun.
220
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,901
Artie's not gonna
hurt stick boy.
221
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:35,071
Would you stop calling
my kid "stick boy"?
222
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,873
Then feed him something.
223
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,708
Face it, lady. Your
kid's a weenie.
224
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,710
Artie just gave
him a little tap.
225
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:43,212
How would you like it if
somebody gave you a little tap?
226
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,236
Is that fun?
227
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,285
Don't touch me, lady.
228
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,821
Hey, don't shove
me. Get outta my face.
229
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,322
Why don't you tell that to
your breakfast doughnut?
230
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,357
Hey, hey, honey. Stop it!
231
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,526
Hyah!
232
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,162
You OK, Dad?
233
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,852
Yeah.
234
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,774
Let me go tell Brad and
Randy what happened.
235
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:13,843
No, don't.
236
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,345
Brad, Randy! I can't believe it.
237
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:19,849
I am so ashamed that I got
into a fight with that woman.
238
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,884
You were just trying
to protect our son.
239
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,886
Well, it was the karate class.
240
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,888
How can you not be violent
241
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:29,658
when everybody around you
is going, "Hey-ha, ho, ya-ya"?
242
00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:33,562
Hey, Dad. I heard a woman
slugged you with her purse?
243
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:37,021
What happened, she wouldn't
let you borrow her makeup?
244
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:41,003
Son, you want to say
that one more time to me?
245
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:44,173
No.
246
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,442
Quit teasing your
dad. It's my fault.
247
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,477
I got into a fight
with this woman.
248
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,312
Oh, Mom, that's great!
249
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:52,915
No, it is not great.
250
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:55,517
So, Dad, how'd she
do? She was awesome.
251
00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:58,187
She stepped right in there, face
to face, toe to toe. It was great.
252
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:01,190
It was stupid, and it never
would have happened
253
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:04,426
if that woman had just stopped
her son from hitting Mark.
254
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:07,463
Ooh, little Mark needs
Mommy to fight his battles.
255
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,098
Shut up!
256
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,234
(Tim) Cut it out.
Stop it. Guys, stop it!
257
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:14,303
Stop that! Come here! Hey,
when I tell you to stop, stop.
258
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,338
You better watch out.
Another week of karate,
259
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:18,440
he'll be able to wipe
the floor with you.
260
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:19,942
Yeah, right. Look at him.
261
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,745
No! Why are you all so
fascinated with fighting?
262
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:25,982
I don't want anybody
to beat anybody up.
263
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:29,152
What is wrong with you
people? You make me sick.
264
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:33,178
I just want you to love each
other, you big bunch of jerks!
265
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:43,039
Are you satisfied? I mean,
she's talking to you two.
266
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,837
You bummed her out.
267
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:50,006
All she wants is us to show
a little respect to one another.
268
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,573
Is that too much to ask?
269
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:53,609
Dad, we're sorry.
270
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,100
Yeah, we'll try.
271
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,348
(both) Dad got hit by a girl!
272
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:02,785
Dad got hit by a girl!
273
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,343
I know where you both live!
274
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,891
And that's the proper way
275
00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:10,893
to repair a mortise
and tenon joint.
276
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,561
Good job, Al. Thank you, Tim.
277
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,564
If we were building a
coffin, would we have to build
278
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:18,068
a rigor mortis and tenon joint?
279
00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:23,039
I don't think so, Tim.
280
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,041
Almost out of time, Al.
281
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:28,077
Just enough time for
"Camouflage Corner."
282
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,745
"Camouflage Corner"?
283
00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:32,781
Yeah. Didn't you
get that memo? No.
284
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,173
Must have been camouflaged.
285
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,855
Normally when we
think of camouflage,
286
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,356
we think of military.
287
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,358
Now this is your
typical military soldier's
288
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,182
tiger camouflage.
289
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:49,420
Now here's that same
soldier in a Costa Rican jungle.
290
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,836
Where is he? I
can't even see him!
291
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:57,773
He could be looking at
me right now! I'm so scared!
292
00:14:57,797 --> 00:15:00,176
Al, there's also
applications in your yard.
293
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,710
That tool shed of yours?
294
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,712
A little unsightly out
there in the backyard?
295
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,114
All right.
296
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,116
Now, here's a way to camouflage.
297
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,140
You can hardly even
tell it's there now.
298
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:16,058
Think you've
finally lost it, Tim.
299
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,626
I'm just joking around, Al.
300
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:20,263
Actually, camouflage has many
applications, even around the house.
301
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:22,098
Lisa, bring that out, please.
302
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,432
Let's take wallpaper.
303
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,434
Wallpaper can be
used to decorate a wall
304
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,669
or disguise an
unsightly wall switch.
305
00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:30,761
Now, you see, can you
find the wall switch here, Al?
306
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:38,214
Well, they're usually...
307
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:40,216
They're usually
right along the...
308
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,618
Not as easy as
it looks, is it, Al?
309
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,109
That's camouflage
for you. Whoop!
310
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:53,262
This is ridiculous, Tim. I don't
want to be a part of this anymore.
311
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:56,632
I'm sorry, Al. Just
trying to make a point.
312
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:59,068
Here, put these away for me,
will you? Come on. Put 'em...
313
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:02,104
Just grab them, Al.
Grab the darn things, Al.
314
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:06,297
Al? Hey, Al, where'd you go?
315
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,602
(Tim) Al!
316
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,551
Al!
317
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,087
All right, one more time.
Ready? Fighting position.
318
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:21,090
(both) Ich, ni, san, hyah!
319
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,392
Again, again, again.
Fighting position.
320
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:26,062
(both) Ich, ni, san, hyah!
321
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,729
That's good. Let's do it again.
322
00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:29,898
No, I don't want to wear
you out before class.
323
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:32,468
I'm not tired. Oh, you're
tired. I know when you're tired.
324
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,503
I can tell just by
looking at you.
325
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,339
Hi-ho, neighbor. Hi,
Wilson. How are you?
326
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,107
You all right there? I'm great.
327
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:40,109
I got him in a karate class.
328
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:42,111
We're out here to
practice some moves.
329
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,113
Karate does build
up the stamina. Yeah.
330
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,115
Jill thinks I have him
taking the karate class
331
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:48,117
so it'll teach him how to fight.
332
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:51,020
Oh, so Jill thinks you have
a predilection for aggression.
333
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:52,955
Predilection? Let's
just say proclivity.
334
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:55,691
Proclivity? What else you got?
335
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,460
How about inclination?
336
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,795
Inclination, yeah. Well,
that's what she thinks, anyway.
337
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,964
But you're not actually
encouraging Mark to fight.
338
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:04,433
No. I just want him to be
able to stand up for himself.
339
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:07,436
If he gets in a bad situation, I'd like
him to be able to kick butt in a major way.
340
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,171
But every dad wants that.
341
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,973
Gandhi's dad didn't.
342
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:14,176
Well, maybe Gandhi was a
major disappointment to his dad.
343
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,346
Maybe Gandhi didn't eat because he
wouldn't fight kids for his lunch money.
344
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,847
How about that?
345
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:22,151
Well, now, Tim, are we
talking about the same Gandhi?
346
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:25,488
Not unless he went to
my elementary school.
347
00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:27,990
You see, when I was that age,
348
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:31,760
if I couldn't wisecrack my way
out of a situation, sometimes I'd run,
349
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,696
and I'm thinking that karate
350
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,067
would give Mark, you know,
the ability to stand up for himself.
351
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:41,670
Well, Tim, I'm reminded of what
the Greek historian Herodotus said -
352
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:45,307
"Where wisdom is called
for, force is of little use."
353
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:47,376
Of course wisdom
is the best way to go,
354
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,811
but when a fat kid is
slapping you around,
355
00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:51,914
you don't have time
to be thinking about
356
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:54,850
reciting the state
capitals alphabetically.
357
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:56,785
Well, that's interesting.
358
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,655
Albany, Annapolis, Atlanta...
359
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,857
Wilson. Augusta, Austin...
360
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:02,958
Wilson! Baton Rouge...
361
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:05,428
You got a minute?
Oh, I'm sorry, neighbor.
362
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,729
Do you think it's a bad
idea to teach the kid karate?
363
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:11,700
You just have to remember that when
you give a boy a weapon like karate
364
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:14,703
that he's mature enough
to know when to use it.
365
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:18,441
Yeah, he is a little
kid, isn't he? Mm-hmm.
366
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:19,841
Have a good day. Mm-hmm.
367
00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:24,380
Bismarck, Boise,
Boston, Carson City...
368
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:25,381
Charleston!
369
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,138
Cheyenne, Columbia...
370
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,955
Dad, is Mom coming? No.
371
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,980
What are we gonna do
in case there's trouble?
372
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:43,199
There's not gonna
be any trouble. Bow.
373
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:46,502
If Artie pushes me, I'm
gonna give him a karate chop.
374
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:49,004
You're not ready to
karate chop anybody yet.
375
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:51,006
You don't know
enough about karate.
376
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,375
But you're learning. You're
gonna know pretty soon.
377
00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:55,578
Then I'll beat him up, I guess.
378
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:57,746
No, no, no, no, no.
With guys like Artie,
379
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,915
once they know
that you have the skill
380
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:02,084
to actually beat them
up, you don't have to.
381
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:04,320
Then you have the
confidence to just stand there,
382
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,822
and they walk away, you know?
383
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:09,158
Karate does give you more power,
384
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:12,561
but it's wisdom that teaches
you when to use the power.
385
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:16,332
That's according to Greek
historian Hippopotamus.
386
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:21,337
What are we gonna do in
case he pushes me today?
387
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,239
Just wave those
socks in front of him.
388
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:24,673
Boy. Dad, come on.
389
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,309
You got a fish in there? Dad.
390
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,478
Recite the state capitals.
391
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,879
I don't know them.
392
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,882
Then walk away from it, OK? OK.
393
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:37,219
Have fun. That's the key here.
Fun. Concentrate. Have a good time.
394
00:19:37,243 --> 00:19:38,920
Hi. How you doing?
395
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:40,722
Boy, these kids love
this, don't they? Yeah.
396
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:43,058
I could have used a class
like this when I was a kid.
397
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:45,682
You and me both.
Who are you with? Artie.
398
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,620
Yeah? Yeah.
399
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,874
I don't want butterball to
mess with my kid today, OK?
400
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:01,243
Well, you don't have
to be so mean about it.
401
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:04,746
Look, I'm just saying I don't
want Artie touching my kid.
402
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,848
And if anybody calls
my kid "stick boy,"
403
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,850
there's gonna be
some big trouble.
404
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,852
If you've got a problem
with my nephew,
405
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,755
maybe you'd better talk
to his father. His father?
406
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:15,613
Hey, Roy!
407
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:19,295
That's his father? Yeah.
408
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,679
Why aren't you his father?
409
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,066
Hey, Mike. What's up?
410
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,068
This guy here...
What's your name?
411
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:29,471
Borland. Al Borland.
412
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,473
Al said if Artie
touches stick boy,
413
00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:33,509
there's going to be big trouble.
414
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:37,313
Did I say it like that, with hostility
like that? It didn't come out...
415
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:40,349
Wait a minute. My
wife told me about you.
416
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,384
You're married
to that loudmouth.
417
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,276
Yeah, that's her.
418
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:49,325
I don't like anyone
threatening my son.
419
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:50,826
Don't crowd me.
420
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:53,095
What are you gonna do about it?
421
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:57,099
Atlanta, Austin...
422
00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:59,435
Afghanistan...
423
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,136
So you're a wise guy,
huh? Hey, hey, hey.
424
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,472
Hey, leave my father alone.
Mark, I can handle this. Mark!
425
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:06,575
Ich, ni, san, hyah!
Mark, come on. Mark.
426
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:09,311
Back off, stick boy. Hey,
don't push my kid like that.
427
00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:11,535
Like you're gonna stop me. Yeah.
428
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:17,185
Hold on a minute!
Hold on a minute!
429
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:20,043
See, Mark? I should
have walked away.
430
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:23,492
That was your best shot?
431
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,494
(gasps) Better. Better.
432
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,558
Good. Good. (rings)
433
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:32,434
No. No, I understand,
Mr. Cho. It's fine.
434
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,136
OK. Bye-bye.
435
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,138
I'm taking Mark to karate class.
436
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:38,140
No, you're not.
That was Mr. Cho.
437
00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:40,509
He's moving Mark
into a different class.
438
00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:42,511
All right. Advanced class, huh?
439
00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:46,882
That was all those extra lessons
I've been doing with him. Ha!
440
00:21:46,906 --> 00:21:48,384
No, Tim.
441
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:50,886
Mr. Cho is not moving him up.
442
00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:53,889
There's another beginners'
class that starts in two weeks.
443
00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:55,724
He's gonna put him in that. Why?
444
00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:57,726
He says that we don't understand
445
00:21:57,750 --> 00:22:00,429
the basic philosophy
behind karate. What?
446
00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:03,799
Yeah. He thinks that we
have a lot of... pent-up hostility.
447
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,802
That's crazy. I'm gonna
get that idiot on the phone.
448
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:08,637
He has a point, you know.
449
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:11,307
Every time we took Mark to
class, one of us hit somebody.
450
00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:14,142
Well, you started it, though.
451
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:18,814
I got a way that we
can... let off some steam.
452
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:20,382
Ohh, ohh.
453
00:22:20,406 --> 00:22:23,385
It'll put us in great shape
for Mark's next karate class.
454
00:22:23,409 --> 00:22:25,020
Yeah? Yeah.
455
00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:26,744
Ho-ho-ho.
456
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,827
Focus. Yeah.
457
00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:33,784
Yah, Mothra! Ahchoo!
458
00:22:41,060 --> 00:22:42,371
Frankfort, Harrisburg,
459
00:22:42,395 --> 00:22:44,340
Hartford, Helena, Honolulu,
460
00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:46,174
Indianapolis, Jackson,
461
00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:47,543
Jefferson City,
462
00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:48,910
Juneau, Lansing,
463
00:22:48,934 --> 00:22:50,245
Lincoln, Little Rock,
464
00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:51,847
Madison, Montgomery,
465
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:52,781
Montpelier,
466
00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:54,717
Nashville, Oklahoma City,
467
00:22:54,741 --> 00:22:56,352
Olympia, Phoenix,
468
00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:57,853
Pierre, Providence,
469
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,287
Raleigh, Richmond,
470
00:22:59,311 --> 00:23:00,989
Sacramento, Salem... (chuckles)
471
00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:02,825
Salt Lake City,
472
00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:04,660
Santa Fe,
473
00:23:04,684 --> 00:23:06,261
Springfield, St. Paul,
474
00:23:06,285 --> 00:23:07,896
Tallahassee, Topeka
475
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,500
and Trenton.
476
00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:13,991
Albany, Atlanta...
477
00:23:17,363 --> 00:23:19,963
(laughing)
477
00:23:20,305 --> 00:24:20,410
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