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Welcome back to Tool Time.
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00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:05,349
Now, when selecting
your wood for your deck,
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00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:07,351
you want to use
cedar or redwood,
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'cause they won't rot or
decay from the moisture.
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And it's also why
poplar is quite "pop'lar."
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And once you finish that deck,
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you've got your
springtime there.
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It's spring, Klaus. How
about some springtime?
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(birds chirping/ Tim sighs)
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It's spring, nice
weather, the birds...
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Hey, hey, hey!
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Get your deck finished,
you just kick back,
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enjoy the fruits of
your labor, right, Al?
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I wouldn't know, Tim.
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You're fruiting,
I'm still laboring.
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Anyway, Al, as you can see, is bracing
and blocking in between the joist here.
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That's right, and if
you use this procedure,
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your deck will be able to
support a great deal of weight -
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as many as 12 party
guests and a barbecue.
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Or my mother-in-law.
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Next week there'll be no more
Nana jokes about her weight,
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because they're cheap
and easy, and I'm above that.
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And she's coming
to town next week.
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But that's next week,
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so this week it's open
season on that wildebeest.
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Al, did I tell you the time
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that Nana didn't shave
her chin for three days
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and two bison followed her home?
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Whoa.
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Tim, I believe our show
today is about decks.
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That's right, and I certainly
know my way around a deck.
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Let's get into the construction
technique, can we?
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Now, the footing
here holds the post.
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The post is
connected to the beam,
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the beam is
connected to the joist,
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the joist is connected...
♪ to the hip bone
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♪ Hip bone connected
to the thigh bone
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Al, take it. Come on,
buddy. Not in this life, Tim.
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And once you get
your deck finished,
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it's solid enough, even
Nana could jump on this thing.
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Tim, you know - no, you don't -
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Binford sealant. You can
pick it up at your local store.
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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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Well, what do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
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Hi, Mom. Is Nana here yet?
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No, not yet.
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Don't put your
books on the table.
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Don't walk on the
floor. I just mopped it.
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Hi, guys. Freeze.
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Oh, lady, lady, come on.
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All the dust I have is in
my back pocket right there.
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I got a little extra
lint in my bellybutton.
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I just mopped the floor. I don't want
you to walk on it. Take off your shoes.
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Guys, take all that
stuff upstairs and hide it.
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(whistles) Every time
your mom comes here,
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00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,544
you turn into Helga
the psycho cleaner.
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I'm just tidying up a
bit. Don't touch that!
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You're gonna get
fingerprints all over it.
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How do you see out of
the back of your head?
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Don't laugh at all those
embarrassing stories
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my mother tells
when she gets here.
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They're not really embarrassing.
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00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:09,593
Some of them are
really kind of funny.
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00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:12,262
My favorite is when you
dove off the high dive as a kid,
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the top of your
bathing suit came off,
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and the lifeguards were using
them as a slingshot to go... tchee!
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Tch! Ha-ha-ha.
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Hoo. Oh, boy.
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That wasn't funny at all, huh?
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You see, this is
just what I mean.
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Mom always thinks
stuff like that is funny,
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and if she knew
anything about me,
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she'd realize that those
stories are painful to me.
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If they're so painful, why don't
you tell her? I can't tell my mother.
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(imitates her) Why can't
you tell your mother?
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It's old stuff, Tim.
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You know, just...
stay out of it, OK?
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All right, all
right, I'm neutral.
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I'm Switzerland.
I have no opinion.
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Hi, Dad. Buddy.
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What's Nana gonna
get me for my birthday?
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Well, I don't know, honey.
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You're just gonna have to wait
and see when she gets here.
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Birthday boy. Or should
I say birthday man?
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Year older, and that peach fuzz
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is turning into a
little 5:00 shadow.
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Ar-ar-ar-ar. Ar-ar-ar-ar.
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I ordered the balloons
and the piñata today.
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Huh? Well, cancel the order.
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This kid is the big 0-8,
halfway to driving age.
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00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:19,729
I'm thinking Indy 500 birthday.
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Checkered flags, maybe
food would go along...
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00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:23,566
Ah, startin' to get it.
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00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,968
We could make a cake
in the shape of a car.
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00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,171
Racecar cake. Oh!
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Penske Lola chassis,
titanium valves and all that stuff.
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Kevlar tub. (grunts) (grunts)
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Come on, honey. Join
in. Let's grunt as a family.
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(all grunt)
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(doorbell rings) Uh-oh.
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That's my mom.
Brad - Randy - Mark!
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Go and comb your hair. Tim?
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I have no opinion. Good.
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She's a little early.
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I didn't have time to
widen the door frame.
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No more fat jokes. Tim. Tim.
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Ta-da!
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Whoa!
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Where's the rest of you?
You coming in shifts?
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Mom, I - Ta-da!
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You didn't tell me
you lost all that weight.
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Are you all right?
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Oh, I'm fine. I wanted
to surprise you.
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Well, you did.
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Oh, Mom, you look
sensational. Oh, thank you.
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Well? Well.
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You do look sensational.
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I can't remember being able
to hug you and touch my hand.
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Here, come on...
I'll take your coat.
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All right. Thank you.
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Oh, my, Jill.
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Oh, honey, this looks very nice.
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Well, thank you. I didn't
even have time to clean.
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Oh, how is that new job going?
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It's good. It's great.
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You know, it's just
that it's kind of hard,
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'cause I have to juggle the
kids and the job, and the time...
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Well, life is hard. You just
have to buck up and do it.
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Right. Right.
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Well, Mom, you really
- you look amazing.
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Oh, well, thank you,
honey. I owe it all to Tim.
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How's that?
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Those Nana jokes on Tool Time
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00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:14,477
are the best motivation
a fat person could have.
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What jokes?
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00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,848
I wouldn't make jokes
about you on the air.
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Oh, you wouldn't, would you? No.
138
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Well, does this sound familiar?
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What weighs 400 pounds, 2 ounces
140
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and sings in the shower?
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Nana holding a bar of soap.
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That's funny, though.
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Did you tell her
I said that? No.
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You don't get
Tool Time in Texas.
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00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,773
We bought a satellite
dish. Oh, God. Oh.
146
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All the neighbors...
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00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,712
All the neighbors come
over to watch the show.
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Dad and I are real celebrities.
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00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:52,849
Hey, good.
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00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:56,508
Yes. Of course, I tell
everyone my son-in-law is Al.
151
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,391
You want something to
drink - shot and a beer?
152
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,260
Oh, Tim, those days are over.
153
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:07,164
It's grapefruit juice for
me from now on. All right.
154
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:11,801
Nothing for me, Tim.
155
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Hey, guys, come on
down here! Hustle up!
156
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,894
Half your grandma showed up.
157
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,811
Well, I'm sorry that
Daddy couldn't come.
158
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,713
Well, you know the colonel.
159
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:27,183
He had to make one of his boring
speeches at the Officers' Club.
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Oh.
161
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:32,956
Well, really, it is just
incredible how great you look.
162
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It's just great. Oh,
well, thank you, honey.
163
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It's really a simple diet. I
have a copy of it in the car.
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00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,330
All it takes is a
little willpower.
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(Brad) Nana!
166
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,301
Oh, there's my boys.
167
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,737
You're skinny! Well, thank you.
168
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,839
All right, fall in. Ten-hut!
169
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,273
(all) Hut!
170
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:54,511
At ease, men. Now
give me some sugar.
171
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:57,569
Oh, Mark, my birthday boy.
172
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:02,652
Randy, sweetie pie. Best
sugar in town, right here.
173
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,821
Oh, Brad, you handsome thing.
174
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,255
How many dates
have you had lately?
175
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,991
Mom, he's too young to date.
176
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:10,693
Oh, well, won't be long now.
177
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,129
Oh, Jill, I remember
your first date.
178
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,598
It was Jake Tyler.
He got to the house...
179
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,567
Mom, nobody wants
to hear this story.
180
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,068
(boys) Yeah, we do!
181
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,737
I think we should hear it.
182
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:22,405
Jake Tyler.
183
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,707
Actually, I have no opinion.
184
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,109
Oh, Jill, I can just see you.
185
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,111
You had on that
lime green miniskirt
186
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:31,113
that showed your
cute little pudgy knees.
187
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,982
I didn't have pudgy knees.
188
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:36,185
But she was so nervous that
night, instead of deodorant,
189
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,187
she sprayed on insect repellant.
190
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,689
(boys laughing)
191
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,525
It was only under one
arm. It's not that funny.
192
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,761
It's not that funny.
193
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:48,352
But maybe next time you
should just hang a No-Pest strip.
194
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,736
Did you bring us any candy?
195
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,639
Candy? Well, what do you think?
196
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,441
Mom, please, not before dinner.
197
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:01,544
Oh, your mother's right, but
I do have a surprise for you.
198
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,980
There are presents for
everyone out in the car.
199
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,514
Go get 'em.
200
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:06,950
I saw that.
201
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:09,652
Oh, well, one little
candy bar won't hurt them,
202
00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:12,376
isn't that right, Tim?
203
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,325
I have no opinion.
204
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,327
Oh, Jill, I can't wait
205
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,830
for you to see
what I got for you.
206
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,298
For me?
207
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,801
Yes. Since Dad and I are
moving into that new condo,
208
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:27,737
I've decided to give you and your
sisters some things from the house.
209
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,739
I've picked out something
210
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,741
that I know has
special meaning for you.
211
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:34,243
Oh, I wonder if those
boys can handle that box.
212
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:37,802
I'll get it, Mom. No, no,
better not. It's breakable.
213
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:43,953
Something breakable?
214
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,388
Something that has meaning?
215
00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:48,958
Oh, gosh, I hope it's
that clock. Which clock?
216
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:52,328
You know, that beautiful
antique wood clock they have?
217
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:55,197
The one that has that stupid chime
that wakes me when we stay there?
218
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,966
I love that clock.
219
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,468
When Daddy was moving
us around from base to base
220
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,470
and house to house all the time,
221
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:04,473
no matter where we were,
when I heard that clock,
222
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,876
I always knew that I was home.
223
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,778
All right, thanks a lot, Brad.
224
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:10,980
Put it on the table,
honey. Be careful, boys.
225
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,782
Guess what's in these boxes.
226
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:15,718
Nana got Mark a drum
set for his birthday.
227
00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:17,720
(Brad) Guys, let's go
beat on them upstairs.
228
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:18,955
Drums?
229
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:21,357
You got him drums?
230
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,993
Lillian, do you really
hate me that much?
231
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,095
Yes. (laughs)
232
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:29,632
Oh, Jill, I know you've had
your eye on this for a long time.
233
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:32,501
Oh, Mom, whenever I look at it,
234
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,672
I'm gonna think of... tea.
235
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,674
It's a tea set.
236
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:38,841
That's right.
237
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,843
Who's the rest
of this stuff for?
238
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,845
The candlesticks are for Katie
239
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:46,149
and the clock is
for Robin. Robin.
240
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:49,285
Well, I hope that she loves
it as much as I love this.
241
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,452
Oh, good, honey.
242
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:53,255
(drums banging)
Oh, I hear music.
243
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:56,347
I'm going up to see
my little Buddy Rich.
244
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,399
Nice tea set. That's really...
245
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,534
That's... chipped.
Kind of shabby.
246
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,370
That means it's
antique, and it's good.
247
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:11,373
There's no reason to
be upset. I'm not upset.
248
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,410
I just thought that she should
know how I feel about the clock.
249
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,979
Why don't you tell her? I can't.
250
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:19,315
Yes, you can. "Mom,
I want the clock."
251
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,650
That's not how we
do things in my family.
252
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:24,153
We don't talk about our
feelings. You know that.
253
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:25,654
Yes, I do know that,
254
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:28,124
and this happens every
time your mom comes to visit.
255
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:30,259
Where does she get
off losing all that weight?
256
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,695
You said she looked spectacular.
257
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:35,564
Feeds me chicken-fried
steak and gravy for 20 years,
258
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,734
shows up here all
thin, with drums.
259
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:38,735
Ohh.
260
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:41,659
Tells me my house looks "nice."
261
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:46,109
I know what's going on here.
You know what's going on here?
262
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,878
You know exactly
what's... What, Tim?!
263
00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:51,302
I have no opinion.
264
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,910
There now. I think
that looks lovely.
265
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,825
Yeah. Now we have a tea set,
266
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:05,950
but we don't know what
tea time is without a clock.
267
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,966
Lillian, do you
know what time it is?
268
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:13,469
No, I didn't put on my
watch today. Gosh darn it.
269
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:16,072
There's a clock right
here on the oven, Tim.
270
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,574
I know, but those oven
clocks are so small.
271
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:21,644
What we need is a
big old antique clock.
272
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,302
Go to London.
273
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,184
Mom, what are you doing there?
274
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,352
I'm slicing marshmallows
for the tires.
275
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,554
The tires are going to be
those chocolate doughnuts.
276
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:34,723
Oh. Then the marshmallows
can be the hubcaps.
277
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:37,226
No, the peppermint candies
are gonna be the hubcaps.
278
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,728
I thought the marshmallows are
gonna be the shock absorbers.
279
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:43,399
Did anybody ask your opinion?
280
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,924
I have no opinion.
281
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,373
Hi-ho, Tim. Hi, Wilson.
282
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:54,043
Boy, you are just the
man I want to see. Yeah?
283
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:56,245
I've got a birthday
present for Mark.
284
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:59,348
Oh, it's nice of you, but I don't
think I want to pierce his ears so early.
285
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,350
No, no, no, no, Tim.
It's not an earring.
286
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:02,985
It's a dream catcher.
287
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,987
Children of the Chippewa Indians
288
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,990
hang them in their window at
night to catch the bad dreams,
289
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,658
and then in the morning,
290
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,894
the sunshine whisks
the bad dreams away.
291
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:15,564
You got anything that'll
whisk a mother-in-law away?
292
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,733
Nana problems, Tim?
293
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:20,703
Nah, nah. It's Jill.
294
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,872
She thinks her mom
doesn't understand her,
295
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,874
but she never tells
her how she feels,
296
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:27,944
so her mom doesn't really
understand that she doesn't understand.
297
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,578
I understand.
298
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:32,081
What is it with women?
Her mom brought gifts.
299
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,851
She gave Jill a tea set and
gave her sister Robin this clock.
300
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:36,618
Jill wants the clock.
301
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:40,122
Why can't she just
say, "I want the clock"?
302
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:42,124
Well, Tim, these are
complicated things,
303
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:44,827
and it has been a few years
since I read My Mother, My Self...
304
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:47,029
(whistles) Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
305
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,233
Back the bookmobile up.
306
00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:53,970
You read a book called
My Mother, My Self?
307
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:57,006
It was the '70s, Tim.
It was an open time.
308
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,975
I remember the '70s.
309
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,477
Mood rings,
eight-track cassettes.
310
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,312
You see, Tim, once the baby girl
311
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:05,147
comes out of the mother's womb,
312
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,649
she spends the rest of her
life trying to separate from her.
313
00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,752
They are separate. They
live in different states.
314
00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:13,222
No, no. No, Tim, I'm talking
about emotional separation.
315
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,957
You see, subconsciously,
316
00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:18,160
Jill may feel that if she doesn't
want what her mother gives her,
317
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:20,997
she's being disloyal to the
person who gave her life.
318
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,664
What?
319
00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:24,934
Why do women get so
confused about this stuff?
320
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,036
I lived in a family of all boys.
321
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,171
We were very clear
about our communication.
322
00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:31,173
If I wanted something
my brother had,
323
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:33,642
I'd knock him down and take it.
324
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:36,612
Hmm. Well, that's
very effective but crude.
325
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:39,248
Right. I think I can
help these two ladies out
326
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,251
if I could just sit them down and
tell them exactly what's going on.
327
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,852
No, no, no, Tim.
328
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:46,822
Throughout history, many truths
have passed from man to man,
329
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:49,525
and the one truth that
transcends all cultures
330
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:54,163
is "When mother-in-law visits,
man should stay in garage."
331
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,665
I got a lot of work
to do on the hot rod.
332
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,834
Might as well just close
the door and start her up.
333
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,524
(grunts like ape)
334
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,273
Oh, Lillian, you
finished the cake.
335
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,275
Mark's gonna love
that. It's beautiful.
336
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,444
Tim, I want to talk
to you about Jill.
337
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,947
I think she's upset.
I'm going to the garage.
338
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,781
She ate up all the hubcaps,
339
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,616
and then she went upstairs.
340
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,752
I gotta do some work
on the hot rod, OK?
341
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:21,690
Please? Please? Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
342
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:24,382
Tim... (groans)
343
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:28,697
I think I know
why Jill is so tense.
344
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:31,367
You do? Yes.
345
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:34,203
So she's sharing
her feelings with you?
346
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:37,073
Well, not in so
many words... Well?
347
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,275
But I think it's pretty
clear... Uh-huh.
348
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:41,777
That you two are
having intimacy problems.
349
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,312
(clang)
350
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,681
Ohh!
351
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:49,251
What? No. No. No.
352
00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:51,253
It's nothing to be
embarrassed about.
353
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:53,255
This sort of thing can
happen after 15 years.
354
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:55,946
Stop. Don't do that.
Put it here. Here.
355
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:01,663
I'm still happening.
356
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,600
Well, all right, but if you
and Jill are having problems...
357
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:07,403
It's not between me and Jill.
358
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:09,505
It's between you and Jill.
359
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,008
What are you talking about?
360
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:15,811
She doesn't want the tea
set. She wants the clock.
361
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:18,614
The clock? Yeah.
362
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,916
Well, why didn't
she just tell me?
363
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:23,152
Well, I just don't know.
364
00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:26,355
It's a mother-daughter emotional
separation thing or something.
365
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,457
I came from a
family of all guys.
366
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:31,060
We're very clear about
our emotional separations.
367
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:34,285
I hit my brother,
I laugh, he cries.
368
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:38,167
What?
369
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:39,668
I can't explain it.
370
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:43,261
You gotta read the book
Hey, Mother, I'm Selfish.
371
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:51,547
Tim, can you help me
with the hamburgers?
372
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,549
In a minute. In a
minute, all right?
373
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,883
I'll help you, Jill.
374
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,885
I'm gaining on you.
I'm gaining on you.
375
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,387
I'm gaining - I win!
376
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,256
(kids) Yay!
377
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,492
Dad, she beat you
again. I got eyes, pal.
378
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:06,628
Sorry, Mr. Taylor. I
didn't mean to win.
379
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,130
Don't get cocky, OK?
380
00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:11,100
You're not champion
around here until you win...
381
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,702
five out of nine.
382
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:16,004
Hey, you better
start losing real quick,
383
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:18,507
or else you're gonna
be here all night.
384
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,376
(whistles) Junior?
385
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,977
OK, here we go.
386
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:25,114
3, 2... Is that a dog?
387
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:26,815
1. Yeah, come on!
388
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:29,540
(kids cheering)
389
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:43,865
Jill, why didn't you tell
me you wanted that clock?
390
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:48,471
I don't want that clock. Who said
I wanted the clock? Tim told me.
391
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,107
(sighs) He wasn't
supposed to get involved.
392
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,309
Well, I charmed it out of him.
393
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:56,078
It's no big deal,
Mom. It doesn't matter.
394
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,380
Well, apparently it is.
395
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:01,717
He says that we don't talk,
that we don't share feelings.
396
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,719
Now, that's not true, is it?
397
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:06,021
Well, in a way, Mom.
398
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:09,225
You're always the one that
said we shouldn't get emotional.
399
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:12,894
When did I ever say
anything like that?
400
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:16,220
All the time. When?
401
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,735
OK. For example,
402
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,404
there was that time in Virginia.
403
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:25,307
I was playing in the sandbox,
and you came up to tell me
404
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,976
that we were moving for
the third time in two years,
405
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,014
and I started to
cry, and you said,
406
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:35,618
"Don't get emotional.
Crying isn't going to help.
407
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:38,976
We're a military family.
This is who we are."
408
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,793
Well, I'm sorry, honey,
but I don't remember that.
409
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:47,229
It was an important
conversation, Mom.
410
00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:49,431
Jill, I had five daughters.
411
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:53,101
There were lots of
important conversations.
412
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:55,704
Well, of course you're right.
413
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,706
I'm sorry I brought it up.
414
00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:00,709
All right, now, you just hold
it right there, young lady.
415
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:03,145
All that moving was
hard on the whole family,
416
00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:04,980
and your father knew that.
417
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,483
Seeing us upset would have
made things worse for him.
418
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:09,652
We all had to be
good little soldiers.
419
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:12,655
Yeah. Yeah, I remember all
that "good little soldier" stuff -
420
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:14,690
having to keep the
house in perfect shape,
421
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,758
lining us up in our
perfect little dresses
422
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,794
with all the other
officers' kids.
423
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:22,064
Yes, that's right. We
were mean, lean and clean.
424
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:24,066
But we had fun, too.
425
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:27,570
You and your sisters
played hopscotch and jacks
426
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:30,439
just like all the
other little girls.
427
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,441
You and I had our tea time.
428
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,276
We had our what?
429
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,378
Well, tea time.
430
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:40,249
We'd have tea and cookies, but I'd tell
you we were having tea and crumpets.
431
00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:42,818
(chuckles) Then, when
your father came home,
432
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:46,188
you'd tell him we
had tea and puppets.
433
00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:49,491
Tea and puppets. I said that?
434
00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:53,251
That is so cute. How
could you stand me?
435
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,833
Sometimes I couldn't.
436
00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:02,771
So that's why you wanted
me to have the tea set.
437
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:06,007
Well, yes. I know you
look at that tea set,
438
00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:09,077
and you see some old
cups and a chipped saucer,
439
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:13,337
but I look at that tea
set, and I see you.
440
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:19,777
I'm sorry, Mom. I
just... didn't remember.
441
00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:26,729
Well, whichever gift you
want is fine with me, dear.
442
00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:30,788
Well, now I want both.
443
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:35,471
Well, Jillian Patterson,
444
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:37,473
you have to share
with your sisters.
445
00:21:37,497 --> 00:21:40,342
I don't know why you had to
give me so many sisters anyway.
446
00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:41,799
Oh, hush.
447
00:21:49,108 --> 00:21:51,442
(cheering)
448
00:21:57,417 --> 00:22:01,062
Yay!
449
00:22:01,086 --> 00:22:04,500
Hey, Dad, she beat you again.
450
00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:06,001
That was pretty lame.
451
00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:07,903
Hang it up, old man.
452
00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:10,406
Can I go play with
my friends now?
453
00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:13,442
You're starting to
tick me off a little bit.
454
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:16,612
Championship round. One
more race, winner take all.
455
00:22:16,636 --> 00:22:19,615
But I think I blew
the motor in my car,
456
00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:24,753
so I've got a little secret
weapon down here that I built.
457
00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:26,755
Hey, what's that, Dad?
458
00:22:26,779 --> 00:22:29,213
I took the motor out
of the DustBuster.
459
00:22:31,617 --> 00:22:33,295
All right, ready?
460
00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:34,797
Winner take all. Last race.
461
00:22:34,821 --> 00:22:37,221
3, 2, 1, go.
462
00:22:55,641 --> 00:22:58,019
(woman) This time,
when you cheer,
463
00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,521
you can make noise.
464
00:22:59,545 --> 00:23:02,691
What a novel idea.
465
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:06,428
Have you ever worked
with children before here?
466
00:23:06,452 --> 00:23:09,987
5, 4, 3, 2.
467
00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:16,472
No, no. Tim. What?
468
00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:19,029
It's your line. Don't
get cocky, Tim.
468
00:23:20,305 --> 00:24:20,410
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