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Hey, welcome to Tool Time.
I'm Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
2
00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:07,717
You all know my assistant
3
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Al "What's the point of
having a weekend?" Borland.
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We've been gone for two
weeks on vacation, Al and I.
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It's good to be back. I
hope you enjoyed the reruns.
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While we were gone, Al, I guess you
finished that log cabin up at Hope Lake?
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Yes, Tim, I have.
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I finished it
completely by myself.
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Everything in it
is made from logs.
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Fantastic.
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Can't wait to stop by and
meet the little log woman.
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Anyway, while Al was
busy carving himself a life,
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I took my family to the natural
history museum in Chicago.
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Very educational.
A lot of fun. Yes, it is.
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But we all know the worst
part of a long car trip -
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the family in the car.
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(high voice) "I'm tired."
"I'm hungry." "I can't see."
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"He's pushing." "I gotta pee."
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Boy, my wife was annoying.
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But it worked out well,
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because I brought
back from the museum
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some primitive tools
from primitive man.
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Heidi, the artifacts, please.
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'Course, y'all know
our new tool girl.
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I want you all to
say howdy to Heidi.
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(all) Howdy, Heidi!
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Our old tool girl moved on
to bigger and better things.
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Oh? Did she accept
that offer from Bob Vila?
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She went on to college.
We both know that, Al.
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Here are your sticks, Tim.
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Thank you, Heidi.
You're welcome.
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They're not sticks.
These are artifacts.
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They look like sticks to me.
Hm? Well, little do you know.
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I wouldn't pay 15 bucks
for some sticks, would I?
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Yes, Tim, you would.
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They say there's a
sucker born every minute.
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Now we know what
he does on his vacation.
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Boy, gosh darn it. That's funny.
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That's really funny.
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Maybe when you're on
your permanent vacation,
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you can build yourself a
log unemployment office.
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The point is, to John Q Primitive
Man, this was his source of fire.
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They would try to get a
spark going, rubbing like this,
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to see if they could
get the kindling moving.
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You should be careful,
because you could start a fire.
46
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Like I'm really gonna start a fire with
sticks like this. You can't get a spark...
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Tim... Al... Al...
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You're on fire.
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Indeed I am, Al, and,
you know, I've done this
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to teach the kids an important
lesson - don't play with sticks.
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They can put your eye
out or ignite your forearm.
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Al, could you help me out?
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Hey! Oh! Ahh... Ooh.
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Use the free code JOINNOW at
www.playships.eu
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What do you think? Should
we put the kids in the middle?
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Come on, baby, let's
go. Burn it in here.
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Put it in the glove.
You can do it. Come on.
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Boys! Hey!
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Hey, boys, come on. You
don't wanna be late for school.
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Yes, we do.
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If we're gonna be late, we
might as well not go at all. Yeah.
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Yeah, right.
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You know, when I was a kid,
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I could not wait
to get to school,
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see my teachers,
hand in my homework,
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00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:09,025
take all those tests
I always got A's on.
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Yeah, but I bet you got
beat up a lot. Every day.
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Now move it, guys. Have
a good time at school.
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Bye, Mom! Love you!
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(oogah)
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Right! I got the horn
working for the hot rod, huh?
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Really?
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I thought a flock of geese
had exploded in there.
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Speaking of a flock of
geese, your sister called.
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What did she say about the
ultrasound? What is she having?
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A baby.
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I know she's having a
baby. What kind of a baby?
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I dunno. I hope it
doesn't look a lot like her.
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OK, I'll call her.
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I can't believe you're
so blasé about this.
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Having a baby is a big deal.
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What's the big deal?
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Cells get together and
multiply. Poof! You got a baby.
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You women act as though it's
some sort of miracle. It is a miracle.
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No, no, no, no, no, a
miracle is what happened
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00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,370
to the 1980 US
Olympic hockey team.
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You women give birth,
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thousands of fans don't stand
up and go, "USA! USA! USA!"
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Well, maybe women should
start giving birth in stadiums.
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Well, maybe they
should! (laughs)
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Good luck getting
50,000 guys to see that.
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Yeah. You know what name
I've always loved? Laura.
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It's simple, it's unpretentious.
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Sloan? That's nice, too.
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(imitates retching)
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Tim just walked in.
He sends his love.
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Yeah. If you need
anything, give me a call.
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Bye.
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It's a girl! It's a girl.
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Carol is so happy. She
always wanted to have a girl.
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They stayed up all last night
and painted the nursery pink.
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Flat or semigloss?
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Gee, somehow
that didn't come up.
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Aw. (squeaking)
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What's all that stuff?
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Oh, it's some of the boys' baby
things. I'm gonna send it to Carol.
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I'm hoping there'll be
something that will work for a girl.
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Ohhh.
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Look at the little
booties. They're so teeny.
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(sniffs)
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They're Brad's.
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Oh, and the little
hat. And the bib.
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Are you gonna send the
wittle bib to the wittle baby?
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No, I'm keeping
this around for you.
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Oh, my gosh.
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Where'd that pink
blanket come from?
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I made this when I
was pregnant with Mark.
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Remember, I was
hoping for a girl?
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I wanted a sweet little thing
I could cuddle on my lap,
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with beautiful curly
hair and big bow in it.
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You wanted to give
birth to a poodle.
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It could happen.
Look at the father.
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Maybe I should hold on to this.
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Why would you wanna do that?
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You never know.
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Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
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Back the estrogen
express up, honey, huh?
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I see... Wait a minute.
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Your sister has a little girl,
now you want a little girl?
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So? So?
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Carol gives birth
to an elephant,
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does that mean you
give birth to an elephant?
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Great, that's just what I
want - pass a pair of tusks.
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Ouch.
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(moaning and
howling on television)
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I thought you guys weren't supposed
to watch that Goosebump Theater.
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Doesn't it give you nightmares?
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Tool Time gives us nightmares,
and you make us watch that.
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(chain saw buzzing,
man screaming)
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Hey, he's going after those guys
with a Binford 5100 chain saw.
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That's a chain saw and a
half. Good choice, ghoul.
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Dad, aren't you a little old
to have a security blanket?
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He got it when he
stopped sucking his thumb.
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Maybe you'll recognize
some of the other stuff in here.
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Oh, look, it's Brad's
training pants.
146
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You used 'em last
weekend, didn't you?
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What's this?
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Randy's brain.
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I'm sending your old
baby stuff to Aunt Carol.
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Hey, wait a minute.
That blanket wasn't ours.
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Your mom knitted this
when she was having Mark.
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It's pink.
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Mom must have known
Mark would be a girl.
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No, no, no, no, no, no. Your
mother was praying for a girl
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after she had you two buttheads.
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Whoa.
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Mom really wanted
Mark to be a girl.
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Yeah.
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I think we can have
some fun with this.
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Oh, uh... Mark!
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Come on in here.
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What do you want?
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Buddy... have a seat.
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(sighs)
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(sighs)
166
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:04,921
Well, we just found out
some awful news from Dad,
167
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:08,858
and we wanted to tell you
before you heard it from a stranger.
168
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What?
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00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,996
Well, Dad told us that
when Mom had you,
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she really wanted a girl.
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You're lying.
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He just showed us the pink
blanket she made for you.
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He did not. You know
how she's always saying
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she wants to bake with you.
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And how she's always
taking you shopping.
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She's pretending
you're her daughter.
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Well, I just got off
the phone with Carol.
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She's so excited. The
baby moved today.
179
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Where to, that all-baby
condo downtown?
180
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:47,797
(horn honks) Hey,
boys, bus is here!
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Ugh. Yuck!
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00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:52,635
How many scoops
did you use in this stuff?
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00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:56,039
12. I'm making "Tim
Taylor More Power" coffee.
184
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Arr.
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00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,098
Hey, I'll race you to Ann Arbor.
186
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,681
Hey, Brad! Yeah?
187
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:07,450
Brad, don't forget you have
a dentist appointment today,
188
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:10,286
and don't try to get
detention to get out of it again.
189
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:13,122
Ha. Like he has to try.
190
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:17,259
Hey. Mark, we're gonna make a
cake when I get home from work.
191
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,161
I'm not helping you.
192
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,564
How come? You
love to make cakes.
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00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,722
I'm never baking again.
194
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:27,937
What's with him?
195
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,505
I don't know,
196
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,097
but I'm sure gonna
miss his brownies.
197
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,781
Tim.
198
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,583
Tim.
199
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:41,618
Tim!
200
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:44,509
What? I love it. It looks good.
201
00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:49,425
Your, uh... The hair, perfect.
202
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,883
New outfit? Thinner? Younger?
203
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,865
Thank you, but that's not it.
204
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:58,200
Remember what we were
talking about last night?
205
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:02,138
Oh, the baby. I won't bring it up
again, promise. I'm bringing it up.
206
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:06,075
Come on, haven't you thought about
how nice it would be to have a little girl?
207
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:09,578
No! We have all the kids
we can stand right now.
208
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:12,982
We never actually said that we
weren't gonna have another baby.
209
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,818
I've said it. I know
I've talked about it.
210
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,820
I mentioned it on Tool Time.
211
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:21,758
Oh, great. So 11
people know about it?
212
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,760
You remember babies at all?
213
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:26,729
Dirty diapers. Colic?
214
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:30,332
2am feedings. 3am feedings. I don't
have the energy for that anymore.
215
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:35,226
You don't have the energy to say,
"Wake up, Jill, the baby wants you"?
216
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,470
At this point in my
life, I don't have the
217
00:11:44,494 --> 00:11:46,671
energy to say, "Wake
up, Jill, I want you."
218
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,788
So you're just shutting the door
219
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,790
on the whole idea
of having a baby?
220
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:56,159
I'm shutting the door.
That's your last word?
221
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,995
I've shut the door,
put a chest in front of it,
222
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,130
and there's a fat guy
sitting on it. What?
223
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,888
And he's holding
Al's mom in his lap.
224
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:10,339
As sure as a bear takes
reading material into the woods,
225
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:13,710
tools lose their edge.
226
00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:16,746
That's why Al and I are
doing our Tool Time salute...
227
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,247
(grinding noise)
228
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,749
to sharpeners.
229
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:22,051
Before we get to the
meat of the show, though,
230
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,553
something happened at my
house today that got me thinking,
231
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,555
and I was wondering... Tim?
232
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,558
Didn't you promise this year
that you would stick to tools
233
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,728
and not get into
your personal life?
234
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,230
A promise is a
promise, isn't it?
235
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,121
But does this mean
anything to you at all?
236
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:40,069
So, I was hoping...
237
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,671
How would you like it if I
talked about my personal life?
238
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,263
When you get one,
we'll talk about it.
239
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:50,312
Right now, I'd like to talk
about women and babies.
240
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:53,449
What is the big deal? Women
and babies, babies and women.
241
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:56,719
If women gave birth to
cars, that would be a big deal.
242
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,721
You'd have guys lined
up in delivery rooms
243
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,489
seeing that stuff,
huh? (man) Yeah.
244
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:03,359
Imagine your wife delivering
a 3,000-pound Ferrari. Yeah!
245
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,027
Oh, yeah.
246
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:09,198
Slip it in gear, kiss your
wife, drive the baby home.
247
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,000
Can we get on with the show?
248
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,702
Let's introduce our
guest star tonight -
249
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,972
the Binford XJB bench grinder.
250
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:17,974
Three-quarter horsepower motor.
251
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:20,309
And it spins at a
manly 3400 RPM.
252
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,844
Arr-arr-arr.
253
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:24,781
(motor whining) Oh!
254
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:27,616
Now, you'll notice Al's
wearing safety goggles.
255
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,685
They not only protect his eyes,
256
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:32,476
but they give Al
that intellectual look.
257
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:39,361
If we can bring the camera over
here, I'll show you what Al's doing.
258
00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:41,597
He keeps the ax
blade against the wheel
259
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:43,599
at a 45° angle.
260
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,935
That helps retain
the original bevel.
261
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:49,806
And I don't know about
you, but I revel in Al's bevel.
262
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:52,275
There you are,
Tim. Sharp as new.
263
00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,343
All right, there's ways
to see if they're sharp.
264
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:57,646
The first way...
(loud grinding noise)
265
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,349
Warn me when
you do that stuff, Al.
266
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,140
OK...
267
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:09,391
There we go. Sharp as new.
268
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:11,727
Gettin' a little
rough on that beard.
269
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,562
You want me to
trim it up for you?
270
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,397
I don't think so, Tim.
271
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:17,233
Come on, trust me, Al.
272
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:19,702
Based on what?
273
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:22,504
You know, I expected
that response out of you.
274
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,441
That's why the guys at Binford
and I came up with a special project.
275
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:27,565
Heidi, how about
that special project?
276
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,781
This is test dummy Al.
277
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:33,816
Here you go, Tim.
278
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:34,917
Thank you, Heidi.
You're welcome.
279
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:36,919
Every last detail
is the same as Al,
280
00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:38,787
except he's a bit more animated.
281
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:41,090
Oh, that's beard's
a little rough.
282
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,492
You want me to
shave it for you? Sure.
283
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:46,229
All right, there you go. OK.
284
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:49,431
Of course I think I do all the work
around here. Thanks for saying so.
285
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:52,368
I'm your idol? Oh,
come on, buddy... Ooh!
286
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,403
Uh-oh. Cut a little deep.
287
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:57,974
Oh, whoa! Al, Al, buddy.
288
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:00,131
Can you do that, Al?
289
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:04,280
Mark, come on down and
have some cake with me.
290
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:07,016
I don't want any cake.
291
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:11,220
Don't tell me you've
given up eating cake, too?
292
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,756
It's angel food...
293
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:16,325
made with real angels.
294
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,794
Luckily they're in season.
295
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,297
I don't want any cake.
296
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:22,598
(typing)
297
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,733
Sweetie, why don't you
just tell me what's wrong?
298
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:28,004
Nothing's wrong. And
don't call me "sweetie."
299
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:31,407
I always call you "sweetie."
300
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,410
That's because you
wanted me to be a girl.
301
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,713
Who told you that?
Brad and Randy.
302
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:41,150
Well, they're
grounded for a week.
303
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:44,620
Honey, you know better
than to listen to them.
304
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,923
They're always
trying to torment you.
305
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,825
You mean, you didn't
want me to be a girl?
306
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:53,396
Well... Well, maybe
a part of me did.
307
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:54,931
Oh.
308
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:58,401
But that doesn't mean I
wasn't thrilled to have you.
309
00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:01,804
The minute I laid eyes
on you, I just fell in love.
310
00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:06,309
All that matted hair,
little squished face,
311
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:08,777
wrinkled little body.
312
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,035
You looked just
like your father.
313
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:15,906
But you really wanted a girl.
314
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,789
Mark, do you remember
your fifth birthday?
315
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:25,361
Yeah. Brad and Randy made
me eat the candles on my cake.
316
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:28,164
So they're grounded
for another week.
317
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:30,166
Remember you wanted a dog,
318
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,602
and we thought that you weren't
old enough to take care of one,
319
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:35,972
and so we got you a turtle.
320
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:39,808
Even though you wanted the dog,
you really loved that turtle, didn't you?
321
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:43,612
Mm-hmm. Till he got
squished by the truck.
322
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,614
I'm sure he didn't feel a thing.
323
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,116
Anyway, the point is,
324
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,986
you wouldn't have traded
that turtle for the world,
325
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,955
and I would not trade
you for the world.
326
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,656
You wouldn't?
327
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,958
No way.
328
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:59,962
I've had a dozen offers,
at least, just today.
329
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:01,964
Would you trade Brad or Randy?
330
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,988
Like that.
331
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:10,639
(Wilson mumbles)
332
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:13,742
Dobry dyen, good neighbor. Huh?
333
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:16,286
That's Russian for "hi-de-ho."
334
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:22,706
I'm playing chess by mail
with a grand master in Moscow.
335
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:28,546
Got a minute? Tim,
I am your pawn.
336
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,963
Jill wants to have another baby.
337
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:37,721
Well, Tim, I'm not sure
I can help you there.
338
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:43,261
That's not the area I'm
having trouble with. Arr-arr-arr.
339
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:48,677
She... Her sister Carol
is having a little girl,
340
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,180
and I think it's
stirring stuff in Jill.
341
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,182
I think she'd like
to have a little girl.
342
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,784
Ah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm...
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
343
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:58,787
And I get the feeling that
you're not happy about the event.
344
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,323
I like the things just
the way they are.
345
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:04,060
The house, the kids, Jill.
346
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:07,185
I have 276 power tools.
347
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,534
So, what you're
telling me, Tim -
348
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:13,536
you feel your life is complete.
349
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,538
Yeah, in a manner
of speaking, sure.
350
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:17,540
Maybe Jill doesn't
feel the same way.
351
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,542
What's that supposed to mean?
352
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:23,446
I think what Jill is
after... is a legacy.
353
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:27,550
A Japanese car.
354
00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:30,652
(laughs) That's a good
one, Tim. That's a good one.
355
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:33,989
A legacy. Something that's
passed down, like, generational?
356
00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:36,125
Exactly, and that's what
you have with your sons.
357
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:38,294
You'll be able to pass on
your accumulated wisdom,
358
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,396
the things you've learned
about being a man.
359
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,364
We've already
started that, yeah.
360
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:45,701
Last weekend I taught 'em
all how to burp the alphabet.
361
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,003
Actually, I'm talking
about more than burping.
362
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:51,006
You see, Tim, what your
sons give you is immortality,
363
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,509
and I think maybe
that's what Jill wants -
364
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:56,212
to see a part of
herself live on.
365
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,247
So that's why she'd want a girl.
366
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,249
Thanks, Wilson.
You've been a help.
367
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,251
Do svidaniya, good neighbor.
368
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:04,275
Do-si-do to you, too.
369
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:09,325
Jill, there's something I
want to talk to you about.
370
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:12,328
Are you still talking to me? No.
371
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:15,998
I can respect that. So...
372
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:19,001
you just sit there
and listen, and I'll talk.
373
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:21,504
I think I know why
you want a daughter.
374
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:23,927
You want to be
immortal, like me.
375
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,011
You're immortal?
376
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:32,848
Long after I'm gone, the
boys will still be burping.
377
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:34,283
What?
378
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:37,253
But you don't have a Jill
Jr. To pass on girl stuff to.
379
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,321
Oh, girl stuff, huh?
380
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:42,358
Like cooking and
cleaning and doing laundry?
381
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:43,859
Don't forget darning socks.
382
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,195
That's a skill I'd
hate to see die out.
383
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,864
I'm kidding. What I'm
saying is if I can be immortal,
384
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,899
you should be able
to be immortal, too.
385
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:52,901
So, let's... let's...
386
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:55,259
let's talk about
having a daughter.
387
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,642
Are you serious?
388
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:04,346
Yeah. And then I could build
her a little Barbie Dream House.
389
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,415
And I'd remodel the
whole downstairs,
390
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:09,084
put in a rec room, a
little weight room for Ken,
391
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:11,309
a little back door for GI Joe.
392
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,960
Thank you, sweetie.
393
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:22,264
But you know what? I really
don't want to have a baby right now.
394
00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:25,301
I didn't mean this minute.
No! I've been thinking about it.
395
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:28,770
The truth is that I don't really
have time in my life for it right now.
396
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:32,941
You know? I got
the job, three kids...
397
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:35,211
Well, four, including you.
Wait, wait. Excuse me.
398
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:38,247
What did you get so out of
joint this morning for? I was mad.
399
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:41,049
You made up your mind we
weren't gonna have any kids,
400
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,085
and you didn't care
what I felt about it.
401
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:45,821
You came out of nowhere with
this. Having a baby's a big deal.
402
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,390
It's up there with putting
in a new sprinkler system -
403
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,392
which we should
talk about. Tim...
404
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,161
Let me get this straight. You
don't want to have a new kid?
405
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:56,064
I don't want you to
rule out the possibility.
406
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,889
Well... how do you feel
about a sprinkler system?
407
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:03,339
Look, I just want to know
that we can still talk about this.
408
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:05,807
Why didn't you
just say it like that?
409
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:07,643
You wouldn't let me.
410
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:11,113
You shut the door and
put a big fat guy in front of it.
411
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:13,716
Holding Al's mom.
412
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,619
So, I should just
leave the door open?
413
00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:18,621
I just want you to listen.
414
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,623
What would happen
if we had another boy?
415
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:23,492
The last thing in the world this
house needs is more testosterone.
416
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,994
It's practically dripping
down the walls as it is.
417
00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,496
(growls) Yeah.
418
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,220
There's hair growing
on that wall right there.
419
00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:43,634
(groans)
420
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,451
Oh, shut the blinds,
421
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:53,088
let the whole neighborhood know
there's something going on in here.
422
00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:55,090
Come here, Mr. Immortal.
423
00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:58,627
(grunts)
424
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,462
Mnh-mnh-mnh-mnh.
425
00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:02,898
Did you brush your teeth?
426
00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:06,769
Tim, I just brushed 'em. Could
you brush 'em again, please?
427
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:09,338
And get that stinky
stuff way in the back.
428
00:22:09,362 --> 00:22:12,574
Well, you've pretty
much killed the mood.
429
00:22:12,598 --> 00:22:14,665
Wait till you walk in there.
430
00:22:37,256 --> 00:22:39,490
Come on. I'm waiting, honey.
431
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:45,907
Well, I brushed, I flossed.
432
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:49,367
I hope that I don't
offend you this time.
433
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:54,149
So, Al, what are you doing here?
434
00:22:54,173 --> 00:22:56,807
It's not Tuesday.
435
00:23:03,148 --> 00:23:05,594
No, no, no, a miracle
is what happened
436
00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:09,319
to the 1980 US Olynkic...
Olympic Hinkuskus.
437
00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:15,671
It's not gonna happen.
It's not gonna happen.
438
00:23:15,695 --> 00:23:17,138
Yes, it is. All right.
439
00:23:17,162 --> 00:23:19,475
No, no, no, a miracle
is what happened
440
00:23:19,499 --> 00:23:22,733
to the 1980 US Olympic Hoffey...
440
00:23:23,305 --> 00:24:23,480
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