1
00:00:03,471 --> 00:00:05,782
We did a great
job on this letter.
2
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:08,118
Yeah! Mark's gonna
fall for this big time.
3
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:09,341
Here he comes!
4
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:16,093
Hey, Mark! You got a letter
from the Detroit Pistons. I did?
5
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:19,162
Yeah. The return address
says it's from Isiah Thomas.
6
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:22,199
See? I told you
he'd write me back.
7
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,067
What does it say?
8
00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:28,472
"Dear Mark. Thank you for your
25 letters. You're my biggest fan."
9
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:31,475
Does he say anything else?
10
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,499
"I can't wait to meet you.
11
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:39,682
"Don't tell anybody, but I'm
coming to your house Saturday night.
12
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:43,453
P.S. If you're cooking,
I love corn on the cob."
13
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,255
He's coming to our house!
14
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:49,359
Yeah! This is
gonna be cool! Yeah!
15
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,061
I'm gonna go put
this in my scrapbook!
16
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:54,531
Way to go, Marcus! Wow.
17
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,899
Yes!
18
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,923
Oh, we are too good.
19
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:05,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
20
00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:10,734
Well, what do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
21
00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:19,382
(all) ♪ Happy birthday to you!
22
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,050
(cheering)
23
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,808
OK, make a wish. Come on.
24
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,430
(all) Yeah!
25
00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:34,664
Now, we eat.
26
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:38,602
OK, who wants sleeve,
who wants armpit?
27
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:41,070
Sleeve. (Brad and Randy) Pits.
28
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:43,206
OK. Tim?
29
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:46,676
I'll just take a
little chest hair.
30
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:50,147
So, Al, what did you wish for?
31
00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:53,983
Oh, no. No, no. I couldn't tell
you that or it won't come true.
32
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:58,021
What are you, Al?
Seven? Eight now?
33
00:02:58,045 --> 00:03:03,193
Sorry, Tim. It's just that I'm a little
superstitious about those things.
34
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,128
Yeah?
35
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,130
Well, if you don't tell
us what you wished for,
36
00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:08,831
you're not getting your present.
37
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,468
Well, if you must know, I...
38
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,458
I wished for a wife.
39
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:18,875
Hey! Perfect!
40
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,965
That's what we got ya!
41
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,437
Just don't overinflate her.
42
00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:32,021
Tim, knock it off. Al has a very
good chance of getting his wish.
43
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,858
In fact, I might have somebody
to introduce you to. Really?
44
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,595
Back the lonely-heart mobile up.
45
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,930
Stay out of this. You are
the worst matchmaker.
46
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:43,600
I am not! Besides
this woman is perfect.
47
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:47,170
What's her name? I don't know.
48
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:49,105
So she's a good friend?
49
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,974
She is the sister of the
woman I sit next to at work.
50
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:55,645
She's supposed to be very sweet. I'll
call Beth, get her number, then call you.
51
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:59,316
Then you call her, then you call
me and tell me everything she said.
52
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:02,018
No, no. Then you call me.
53
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:06,323
I'll call Eddie, he'll call
Freddie, we'll all get pedicures.
54
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,024
(watch alarm beeps)
55
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:10,260
Gosh, it's seven already?
56
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:13,029
I better call the bingo hall,
tell 'em I'm running late.
57
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,897
This isn't your
usual bingo night.
58
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,100
No, I know.
59
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:21,204
When you're a regular, they do
something special for you on your birthday.
60
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:25,664
You get to sit next to the caller
and use your age as a free space.
61
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:32,537
Tonight, I'm N35.
62
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:36,908
You know, it just seems
like yesterday I was I19.
63
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:42,714
He really needs somebody.
64
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:49,599
Her name's Ilene and
she's an orthodontist.
65
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:50,700
Who?
66
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,603
The woman that Jill
found for me. Thank you
67
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,138
I just spoke to
her on the phone.
68
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:57,240
She has a delightful
sense of humor.
69
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,742
Listen to this.
70
00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:01,511
How does an orthodontist
hold on to a lawyer?
71
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,102
She makes him a retainer.
72
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:11,988
I think I know why
she's available.
73
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,724
Well, I've invited her
over for Friday night.
74
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,327
Told her there would
be a few people.
75
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,562
Now I just have to
find a few people.
76
00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:22,131
Would you and Jill like to come?
77
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,535
Can't make it. And if you were
smart, you wouldn't show up either.
78
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:29,205
Why? Jill is the world's
worst matchmaker.
79
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:32,309
She put seven couples
together. Six are getting divorced.
80
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,745
Well, maybe we would
be like the seventh couple.
81
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:40,450
The seventh couple couldn't get
married. Turned out they were cousins.
82
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:45,388
Does everybody know what
time it is? It's "Tool Time"!
83
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:50,960
That's right! Binford Tools is proud
to present Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!
84
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,819
(cheering and applause)
85
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,166
Thank you.
86
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,136
Thank you all, and welcome
once again to Tool Time.
87
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,205
I'm your host, Tim
"The Tool Man" Taylor,
88
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,763
and you all know my assistant,
Al "Catch of the Day" Borland.
89
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:10,279
It's Male Hobby Week
all this week on Tool Time.
90
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:13,783
And today, Al and I are
doing our Tool Time salute...
91
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,852
(fishing reel unwinding)
92
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,654
to fishing.
93
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:21,391
Hobbies are important to men
because they allow us to wind down a bit.
94
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:24,728
I can't speak for everybody, but
I work awful hard all week long.
95
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:27,112
You have another
job somewhere, Tim?
96
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,969
Gosh, darn it. That was
funny, Al. It really was.
97
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,861
Who's writing your
material? An orthodontist?
98
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:41,010
Bite on that one, big worm.
99
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:43,913
Look. We're talking
about fly-fishing today.
100
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:47,049
To get a good information base,
we've invited a special guest.
101
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:51,954
I want a warm Tool Time welcome
for ace angler Chuck Norwood.
102
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,978
(cheering and applause)
103
00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:01,831
Welcome, Chuck. Thanks, Tim. Al.
104
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,700
You brought a nice
selection of rods here.
105
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,736
I'd love to see a worm try to
wiggle off one of those big bad boys.
106
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,407
Actually, Tim, with fly-fishing,
there's no live bait involved.
107
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,809
The fish are drawn to the fly.
108
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,678
Under the heading of flies,
you've got two basic types.
109
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:18,503
The opened and closed, Chuck.
110
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:24,454
Chuck meant the
dry fly and the wet fly.
111
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:29,125
This is a joke, Al. The dry fly floats on
top of the water, whereas your wet fly...
112
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:32,617
Has kept you out of every major
restaurant in the Detroit area.
113
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:35,998
How about a little
demonstration?
114
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:41,805
Yeah. This first one is a real
classic. It's handmade bamboo.
115
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:44,407
Look at this. That's
a good-looking rod.
116
00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:47,298
The prices for
that start at about...
117
00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:55,151
$800.
118
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:58,822
Now it's $1600.
You got two of 'em.
119
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,924
We have an insurance
policy for these little accidents.
120
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:04,494
Actually, our insurance
cancelled after the fourth show.
121
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:07,363
Well, glue it. What
do we got now?
122
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:09,198
This next one's my
personal favorite.
123
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:12,034
This is a Morgan BXL graphite.
124
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:13,736
Not even you can
break that, Tim.
125
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,638
Don't bet on it.
126
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:18,341
That's a beauty.
Look at that thing.
127
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:21,010
I bet you'd get a big old
stinky bass on this thing.
128
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:24,280
Hey, Al. Open up.
129
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:27,484
You want to be careful using a
graphite rod in a lightning storm
130
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:31,153
because it is an excellent
conductor of electricity.
131
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:34,423
We've been known to have a lot
of electrical storms in the studio.
132
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:38,182
I'm just saying that if they happen
to be in an area that is susceptible...
133
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:51,207
Mom, can we have corn
on the cob Saturday night?
134
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:54,410
Sure. Why? Not supposed to tell.
135
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:57,046
If you want corn, you'll tell.
136
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,615
OK.
137
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:01,283
Isiah Thomas is coming to
dinner and he really loves corn.
138
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:05,221
Isiah Thomas?
139
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,957
You can't say anything
to anybody, OK?
140
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:10,259
(Tim) Hey, I'm home.
141
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:13,217
Oh, I don't believe
it. Well, I'm right here.
142
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,301
What is this? Brad and
Randy wrote to Mark
143
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,370
pretending to be Isiah Thomas.
144
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,573
It's not from Isiah?
145
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:28,099
Mark, no professional basketball player
is gonna come to our house to eat corn.
146
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:33,983
Especially your mom's corn.
147
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,653
Honey... Look, you're
eight years old now.
148
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:40,189
It's time that we had this talk.
149
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:43,793
Stop being such a sap!
150
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:46,896
But the letter looked so real.
151
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,287
Let me give you
some guidelines here.
152
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,636
If something good
happens to you,
153
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:56,505
and Brad and Randy are
happy that it happened,
154
00:09:56,529 --> 00:10:00,109
it's probably not a good thing.
155
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,578
I'm gonna get them back!
156
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:04,113
Wait. What are you
gonna do to 'em?
157
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:08,607
I'm gonna tell them that they're
ugly and that their feet stink.
158
00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:11,676
(whistles) Ouch!
159
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:17,727
It's probably not a good idea to
tell 'em stuff they already know.
160
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:20,396
Think of something,
all right? OK.
161
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:24,366
By the way, keep Friday open.
I got sleepovers for all the kids.
162
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:27,804
We are going out. All right!
163
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:30,873
We almost got roped into going
to Al's house. Where are we going?
164
00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:34,543
Al's house. No!
165
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,379
More dip? No, thank you, Al.
166
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:39,437
Dipped out, big fella.
167
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:47,612
Don't worry, Al. Ilene'll
be here any minute.
168
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,632
Any minute.
169
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:59,357
Boy, I should take a look at that
rack of lamb before it dries out.
170
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:05,341
She's 30 minutes late.
She's not coming. Let's eat.
171
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:10,647
She's coming. Stop whining.
Try to say something supportive.
172
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:12,537
Nice butt, Al.
173
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,586
(doorbell)
174
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,377
Well, that's probably her now.
175
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:26,863
Hi. Hi.
176
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,953
Al? Ilene?
177
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:33,402
Would you like to
come on in? Come on in.
178
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:36,305
Hi. I'm Jill. I work with
Beth. Nice to meet you.
179
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:39,308
And the man behind the cheese
ball is my husband Tim. Hi.
180
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:43,279
This is very exciting for
me. I'm a big fan of the show.
181
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:45,614
You are so funny.
Thank you very much.
182
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:49,373
And Al. So competent.
183
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:55,524
Thanks. Would you
like something to drink?
184
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,849
That'd be great. Uh... Wine?
185
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,433
This really isn't
like me, being late.
186
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,535
Normally I am right
on time. Or early.
187
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:10,873
What a coincidence. Al is
always early. Isn't that right, Tim?
188
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,464
Yeah. Sometimes he
shows up before he's invited.
189
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,646
I just couldn't get
out of the office.
190
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,615
Then on the way over
here my car stalled.
191
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:22,618
I'll take a look at it.
Al should look at it.
192
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:26,355
Ilene, I would love to
look under your hood.
193
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:30,459
I mean... I mean of
your car! Of her car!
194
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,661
Al, you have a great
sense of humor.
195
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:35,031
A sense of humor is very
important in a relationship.
196
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:38,556
If I didn't have a sense of humor, I never
would have been able to stay with Tim.
197
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,238
(beeping)
198
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,840
How long have you
two been married?
199
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:46,408
It seems like forever.
200
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,111
In a good way.
201
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:52,014
Children? Yes. We
have three delightful boys.
202
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:54,139
And who would they be?
203
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:59,688
I myself would
love a big family.
204
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:04,660
Me too. Although I'm 36 and I worry
it's a little late to be getting started.
205
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:07,919
Oh, no. You have plenty of
good childbearing years left.
206
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:13,569
It's not only that. It's
the whole process.
207
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,304
First you have to meet somebody,
208
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:18,808
then you have to date,
see if the chemistry's right.
209
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,877
I wish there was a
way to cut through that.
210
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:23,579
So do I. You do?
211
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,782
You know, I...
212
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:28,417
I wouldn't want to
be too forward, but I...
213
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:31,642
I would love to be the
father of your children.
214
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,690
Do you mind if we eat first?
215
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:57,146
"I'd love to be the
father of your children."
216
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:03,219
I still can't believe the woman didn't go
running out of the apartment, screaming.
217
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:07,323
That's 'cause she's just
as desperate as he is.
218
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,960
Honey, you've got to applaud
yourself. They're a perfect match.
219
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:14,030
We gotta talk to Al. What
are you doing? Don't talk... No.
220
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:15,832
They're going way
too fast. Way too fast.
221
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,700
She practically moved
in before dessert.
222
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:20,669
Her car stalls once on the way
over, and by the end of the night,
223
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,404
she thinks she
can't make it home?
224
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:26,642
"Oh, gee, Al. Maybe I'd
better stay on your couch."
225
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,878
How long is she gonna
be alone on that couch?
226
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,447
Knowing Al, six months. Come on!
227
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,715
Hang up.
228
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:35,151
You are just not
getting this at all.
229
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:37,553
These people are
not acting rationally.
230
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,121
You're not acting rationally.
231
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:42,524
Hey, you cannot build a
relationship based on desperation.
232
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,061
We did!
233
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:48,331
Tim, they were
naming their babies.
234
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:49,698
They were joking.
235
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:53,202
They laughed when I said,
"Call it Tim." Remember?
236
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:56,038
Hang up. Not until you
promise me you'll call them.
237
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:59,041
All right. I won't call Al, I'll
talk to him tomorrow. OK?
238
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,878
It's a waste of time.
They'll work it out.
239
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:04,847
When you're in a new relationship,
you're on an emotional high.
240
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:08,506
But after a while, you come
crashing down to reality. I know I did.
241
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:24,300
Happy hour, Wilson? (chuckles)
242
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,468
No! No, no, no, Tim.
243
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:30,439
I find that two coats of bourbon
give my paintings a nice gloss.
244
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:34,977
Two coats of bourbon will
give anybody a nice gloss.
245
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:37,980
Tim, it was rumored
that the Mona Lisa
246
00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:40,349
was covered with
a splash of whiskey.
247
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:43,719
That would explain why she
had that little plastered look.
248
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:46,322
Actually, Tim, that look
may have had more to do
249
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:50,159
with her supposed relationship
with Leonardo da Vinci.
250
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:52,561
I don't wanna talk
about relationships today.
251
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:55,965
Problem, Tim? Yeah.
Jill's driving me nuts.
252
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,866
She fixes Al up
with a girl he likes.
253
00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:00,569
Now she thinks they're moving
too fast and wants to break 'em up.
254
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:04,307
Why do women meddle in
relationships? Men don't care about that.
255
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:06,575
Uh-oh. You're falling victim
to a cultural stereotype.
256
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:09,445
Historically, men have been
the primary matchmakers.
257
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,248
(grunts quizzically) (grunts)
258
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:14,683
For example, among
the Xhosa Kaffir tribe,
259
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:18,687
a young man's father would choose
his first, sometimes even his second, wife
260
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:22,858
in exchange for a
sack of barley or a goat.
261
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:25,383
I'd hold out for a sack
of cash and a Jag.
262
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:31,233
You see, unlike the
ancient matchmakers,
263
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:32,801
who received goods
for their services,
264
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,870
Jill's motives are much purer.
265
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:37,206
She only wants
what's best for Al.
266
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,674
But why does she
drag me into it?
267
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:41,098
Who the heck knows?
You know women.
268
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:48,550
OK, Mom. Here's the fake
letter. We're gonna get them great!
269
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,286
Boy, this is a big
moment for you.
270
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:52,188
Your first prank
against your brothers.
271
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:53,990
You came up with
it all by yourself.
272
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:57,181
Mom, this is only the beginning.
273
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:01,530
Hi, guys. How you doing?
274
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,799
Ah, so tonight's the
big night, eh, Mark?
275
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,868
I hope you have
enough corn for Isiah.
276
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:08,837
Hey, Mark. Look at this. You
got a letter from Isiah Thomas.
277
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,996
Wow! Another letter.
278
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:22,184
Cool! Isiah's leaving me
five tickets to the Bulls game!
279
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,688
Wait a second. Let me see that.
280
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:29,892
Oh, man. Courtside
seats for the whole family.
281
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:31,560
All we have to do
is present the letter.
282
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,530
Wait a minute. Let me see that.
283
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,765
Right. We're invited
to the locker room
284
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,700
to get an autographed
game ball after that?
285
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,837
Oh, my gosh, I can't believe
it! Oh, my gosh, I can't either.
286
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:44,373
Well, I don't believe it.
Did you guys write this?
287
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,909
No! I swear! Really,
Mom, we didn't.
288
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:50,546
Yeah, we wrote the other
one! They wrote the other one!
289
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,981
Yeah, but this one's
real! Wait a minute.
290
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,517
You wrote a fake letter?
291
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:57,253
Yeah, but this one's
real. This one's real.
292
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,955
I don't believe it.
Hey, hey, hey! Hey!
293
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:02,191
No! Come on!
294
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,160
(Brad) I got this piece.
295
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:06,362
Tim! Tim.
296
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:09,765
Mark wrote that letter.
297
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:12,134
I knew that. We're
all in this together.
298
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,791
Suckers, suckers.
299
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:18,574
Nice try, Dad. I
knew he did that.
300
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,577
Guys, go on up and wash
your hands. Good job!
301
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,679
Can I go up and
tease 'em? Absolutely.
302
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:24,980
Thank you.
303
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:27,083
Great!
304
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,185
I'm gonna clean
up and get to work.
305
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:32,154
Don't forget to talk
to Al about Ilene.
306
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,722
I got a better idea.
307
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:37,293
I'm thinking maybe I'll
bring 'em over, both of them.
308
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:39,228
They can watch
how we are together.
309
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:41,785
I'm sure they'll decide
they're much better off single.
310
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:47,803
Ford part, obviously.
Mustang, '67.
311
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,271
You know it, Tim.
312
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:52,841
I have over 700 wheel covers and
hubcaps in my collection at home.
313
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:56,412
Wow! That takes a lot of space. You
must have a real understanding wife.
314
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:58,947
She left me, Tim.
315
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,217
She said it was either
her or the hubcaps.
316
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,085
Hate to hear that.
317
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:06,122
But I think you made the decision
most of us would have made.
318
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:09,592
Right, Al? I don't
think so, Tim.
319
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:13,295
I would never trade wheel covers
for the love of a good woman.
320
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:17,199
And, unlike you, I have never
used the show as my personal forum.
321
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:19,835
I would like to say
something to my special lady.
322
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,737
What are you gonna
do? Speak from the heart.
323
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,739
Al, don't do this. Al!
324
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:26,375
(Tim) It was good to have
you on the show. Thanks.
325
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:29,645
Dr. Ilene Markham.
I, Albert Borland,
326
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,515
would like to spend the
rest of my life with you.
327
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,583
Will you marry me? (laughs)
328
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,153
That's great.
Great. That's great.
329
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:39,588
What are you
doing? I'm proposing.
330
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:41,923
Are you crazy? He's
crazy. Crazy in love.
331
00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:44,760
Oh, boy! Aren't
you? Aren't we all?
332
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:47,796
That's all the time we have.
Klaus, the music, please. Thank you.
333
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:50,799
That's it for Tool Time.
See you next time.
334
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,468
Thank you very much.
335
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:53,902
(woman) You're clear.
336
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,137
Are you out of your mind?
337
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:57,473
On the contrary.
I've never felt clearer.
338
00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,408
You've only known
her a couple of days!
339
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:01,443
Yes, but I know
everything about her.
340
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,912
Is she married? I don't know.
341
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,582
Is she from around
here? I don't know.
342
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:10,118
Is she allergic to flannel? Does
she have any weird tattoos?
343
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:12,188
Can she digest
asparagus properly?
344
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,422
I don't know!
345
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:14,923
What do you know about her?
346
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:16,992
I do know that I like her.
347
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:19,662
And I want to start a
family before I get too old.
348
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:22,231
What? Well, you know...
349
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:26,702
My father was almost
60 when I was born.
350
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,471
I didn't know that.
Yeah, well, I...
351
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:33,475
Thank you.
352
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:36,645
When we would go to the park,
we would sit and feed the pigeons
353
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:39,503
while I would watch the other
kids play ball with their dad.
354
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:44,220
60 is a ways off, buddy.
355
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:48,056
And getting
married is a big step.
356
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,259
It's, um...
357
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:52,027
It's like when you
bought your saber saw.
358
00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:55,531
You didn't buy the first
one you saw. Of course not!
359
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:58,066
You went back to the hardware store a
couple of times, looked at a few of 'em,
360
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,102
to make sure
there's no surprises.
361
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:02,871
Well, yeah. That's... true.
362
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,172
Women are like that.
363
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:06,141
You don't want to
marry a saber saw
364
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:12,013
and wake up one day and find
yourself lying next to a... jackhammer.
365
00:21:12,037 --> 00:21:14,717
So, what you're saying is,
366
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,285
you don't want to go
to bed with one tool
367
00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:18,643
and wake up with another.
368
00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:26,629
Ideally, you don't want to
be going to bed with tools.
369
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:30,499
You know what I'm
driving at here, Al?
370
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:32,735
Yes, I do.
371
00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:35,103
Oh, but, Tim,
372
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,806
I've already proposed. It's
gonna be on the air in a few hours.
373
00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:39,808
I think I got that covered.
374
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,744
Really? Yeah.
375
00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:45,281
What do you say you and I go over
to the park and play a little catch?
376
00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:48,150
That'd be great. Then maybe
we could feed the pigeons.
377
00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:51,053
Let's not get carried away, Al.
378
00:21:51,077 --> 00:21:57,159
I'd say this is a Mustang,
probably '67. You know it, Tim.
379
00:21:57,183 --> 00:22:00,028
He really proposes to
her on the air? Yeah, yeah.
380
00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:02,164
Why didn't you
stop him? I couldn't.
381
00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:05,567
He was like a belt sander
headed for some pine.
382
00:22:05,591 --> 00:22:07,670
What will happen
when she sees this?
383
00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:09,593
Covered, covered.
384
00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:12,574
Dr. Ilene Markham.
385
00:22:12,598 --> 00:22:15,344
I, Albert Borland,
would like to spend...
386
00:22:15,368 --> 00:22:17,078
(Tim's voice) Tuesday
night. With you.
387
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:19,102
(electronic voice
with Japanese accent)
388
00:22:23,042 --> 00:22:26,322
Look, it's Godzilla.
389
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:29,625
The city's in
danger. It's Godzilla!
390
00:22:29,649 --> 00:22:33,016
It's not, it's your mother!
391
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:44,139
Dear Mark.
392
00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:47,576
Sorry it's taken me
so long to write back,
393
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,378
but I've been really busy.
394
00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:52,548
(woman) Isiah, honey,
come to dinner. In a minute.
395
00:22:52,572 --> 00:22:56,719
I gotta write back to this
kid. He's written me 25 times.
396
00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:58,676
Your corn's getting cold.
397
00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:04,693
(woman) Isiah, honey.
Come to dinner. In a minute.
398
00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:09,164
I've gotta write back to this
kid. He's written me 25 times.
399
00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:13,935
Come on, Zeke, man. Forget
the kid. The corn's on, buddy.
400
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:15,871
We got plenty of corn.
401
00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:19,708
There's pimentos with
it. Come on, buddy.
402
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:22,132
Come on, I said.
402
00:23:23,305 --> 00:24:23,480
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