1
00:00:01,902 --> 00:00:04,448
Blue 32. Hi-hi-hike!
Brad, go long.
2
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:07,050
All right.
3
00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:10,287
Deeper! Deeper! Deep
this, Mini Montana.
4
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:13,290
We were just about to
take that outside. Nice try.
5
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:15,359
Is Mom home?
6
00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:16,826
No.
7
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,618
Great! Go long by the
couch. Give me a down.
8
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,167
All right!
9
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,569
Hey, didn't you sign
up for an elective today?
10
00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,071
Yeah. Let's go, Randy.
11
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:30,273
No, wait a minute.
I'm real proud of you.
12
00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:34,133
Your first year of shop -
the Year of the Ashtray.
13
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,548
Actually, Brad's taking home ec.
14
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:39,782
What?
15
00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:44,221
This is the Year of
the Muffin. No way!
16
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:45,655
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
17
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:48,291
Home ec? You
really gotta take shop.
18
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:52,162
It's where you learn about tools,
building things, tearing stuff down, and...
19
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,897
(grunts)
20
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:56,299
Yeah, but home ec
is me and 30 girls.
21
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:59,436
What do you wanna
be around 30 girls for?
22
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:02,639
Oh-ho-ho! I catch you.
23
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,941
Before you go jumping
in a room with 30 girls,
24
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:07,144
you really should take shop.
25
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:09,279
Why?
26
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,981
Shop prepares you for women.
27
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:15,685
You learn how to cut
wood. How to sever a finger.
28
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,587
You learn pain.
29
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,844
Then you're ready for women.
30
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:27,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-
31
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,491
Well, what do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
32
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,319
Hey, Tool Man! Oh!
33
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:59,422
I watch you on TV
all the time. I love you.
34
00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:01,191
I love you too. Who are you?
35
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,492
Joe Morton, your new neighbor.
36
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,726
I just moved into the
house across the alley.
37
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,929
Hey, all right. I saw
the moving van. Uh-huh.
38
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,698
Did I see a 50-inch-square TV?
39
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,300
Know what's great
on the big screen?
40
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:12,502
What? Tool Time!
41
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,172
Welcome to the neighborhood.
What line of work you in?
42
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:18,074
I'm in meat. You're The
Tool Man, I'm The Meat Man.
43
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:20,310
Morton Meats. You
heard of us? Yeah!
44
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,779
Yeah. Eight locations.
Best meat in the Midwest.
45
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,048
You want a pen?
46
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:28,451
There's a cow on there. Yeah.
47
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,820
Turn it upside down,
see what she does.
48
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,844
(mooing)
49
00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:37,126
Kind of like "moo" power.
50
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:40,730
That's great. This hot
rod's a beaut. What year?
51
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,932
This is '33. Really?
52
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:47,003
Look more like a '34 body on a
'33 chassis to me. No, it's all '33.
53
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,606
I'm no expert, but I go to
the hot rod show every year.
54
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:53,042
Well, Meat Man, I
built it myself. It's a '33.
55
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,978
So, I guess a big-time cable TV host
like you makes out pretty good, huh?
56
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:59,683
I guess you could say I got the
highest credit limit allowed at Sears.
57
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:04,588
Still, you can't be making Bob
Vila money, right? He's on real TV.
58
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:08,291
It's common knowledge that
Vila's overpaid for what he does.
59
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:11,094
Oh, I hit a nerve,
huh? Don't sit on that.
60
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:14,097
Yeah, sure. Whatever you're
making, you must be doing OK.
61
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,333
Yeah. Bought you
one of these babies.
62
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:19,436
I'm OK. I'm OK. Don't
worry about me. I wasn't.
63
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:23,940
What kind of grill is
that? Well, it's, um...
64
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:27,344
Oh! It's a dented
reproduction of a '33 roadster.
65
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:30,280
Just tell me how much it
cost. I'll give you the cash now.
66
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,882
It was an accident.
I can pound that out.
67
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:36,152
I just figured I'd drive it
before I put a dent in it.
68
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:38,154
That's funny!
69
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,223
I like that, you can
just shake things off.
70
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:42,492
I'm gonna get back
on this windshield.
71
00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:44,561
Don't mind me.
I'm a fly on the wall.
72
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:47,997
Wish I had some
insect repellent.
73
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:51,523
I'll just buzz around
and watch. All right.
74
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:59,709
(horn blares)
75
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,944
I really got something
to do inside.
76
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,013
What is it? A little problem.
77
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,215
What's wrong?
What's wrong? Uh...
78
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,351
It's my wife.
79
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,052
She's got this condition.
80
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,389
I gotta go wake
her up, dress her,
81
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:14,857
pour coffee down her
throat to get her going.
82
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:17,260
I hear you, buddy.
83
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:18,961
No, that's not it...
84
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,230
Timmy, it's nothing
to be ashamed of.
85
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:24,267
I see you on TV, I figure
there's a guy who got it made.
86
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:27,003
Now I find out there's a
dark side to The Tool Man.
87
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:30,796
Hm. Take care, buddy.
Here's your paper.
88
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:34,265
Beauty!
89
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,318
Does everybody
know what time it is?
90
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:43,453
Tool Time! That's right.
91
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:48,024
Binford Tools is proud to present
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor! Whoo!
92
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,681
(cheering)
93
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:55,298
Thank you, Heidi.
94
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:58,167
Welcome to Tool Time. I am
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
95
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,593
Y'all know my assistant, Al "God
knows what's under that beard" Borland.
96
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:07,076
Today Al and I will be
talking about fencing.
97
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:10,580
In order to do that, I'm
gonna need my dueling dowel.
98
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:13,450
Heidi? Here you go, Tim.
99
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:16,174
Thanks, Heidi. You're welcome.
100
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:22,625
En garde, big fella. Come
on, Flannel Man. Tim.
101
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,694
Tim. Tim.
102
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,128
He's scared.
103
00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:29,131
This is not the type of
fencing we're talking about.
104
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:31,690
We're talking
about the classic...
105
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,926
(audience gasps)
106
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,550
(applause)
107
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:05,735
Fencing champion,
Gilmore High, 1976.
108
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:09,005
Al and I have done this to
prove a point. No, we haven't.
109
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,741
Just as Al defended
himself against me,
110
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,243
a sturdy fence is a great
way to defend your home -
111
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,480
the best way to keep out
dogs, cats and a pesky neighbor.
112
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:21,284
The good thing is, you don't have
to be a master carpenter to build one.
113
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:23,553
A big plus for
you, Tim. Could be.
114
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:26,423
As I said, this is the classic
alternate-board fence.
115
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:29,492
We wanna show you how
to keep that fence plumb.
116
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,928
For that, we need
a jig. Tim, the jig?
117
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,952
(♪ hums jig)
118
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:44,707
This will help keep your fence
plumb, as well as help with spacing.
119
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:46,943
While Al's fiddling
around with his plumb,
120
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,579
I'll discuss another way
to stop a pesky neighbor.
121
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,481
You guessed it,
electrical shock.
122
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,349
(laughter)
123
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:57,053
To demonstrate that, we've
installed an invisible doggy fence.
124
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,789
We have? Yes. Right
through the floor here.
125
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:03,693
Now, Foo Foo
wears a special collar.
126
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:07,096
When attached to him,
it activates the fence.
127
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,666
If Foo Foo were dumb
enough to try to stray,
128
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,868
he gets a mild,
correctional shock.
129
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:14,170
Grr.
130
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,038
(buzzing) (yelping)
131
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:18,040
Grr!
132
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,809
(buzzing) (yelping)
133
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:24,380
Now, this will work on
that pesky neighbor...
134
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,717
if you can get him to
wear the collar. (laughter)
135
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,119
Al, won't you be my neighbor?
136
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,643
(laughter and applause)
137
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:36,893
I don't think so, Tim. Let's
get back to building that fence.
138
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,194
We're gonna need more slats,
139
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:41,163
so if you'll walk over and
grab those slats for me,
140
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,932
we can finish it.
141
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,956
Sure thing.
142
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:53,813
Could you get me
those nails there, Tim?
143
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,320
(buzzing)
144
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,344
(laughter)
145
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:13,262
So I said to the salesman, "Either
give me a new pair of pantyhose,
146
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,331
or I'll strangle
you with these."
147
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:18,668
Marie, you are so
good with people.
148
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,469
You know, you gotta love you.
149
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:22,805
I learned that in therapy.
150
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:25,975
This may come as a surprise to
you, but I used to be a meek person.
151
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,811
Oh, so was I. Until
we moved to Texas.
152
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:31,736
You can't be meek in
Texas - it's a state law.
153
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,985
Can you get this? Oh, yeah.
154
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:39,589
Thanks a lot, Jill. I know I'll find
ours as soon as I finish unpacking.
155
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:42,491
Don't worry about it. We
always have extra toasters.
156
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,728
Tim goes through
them quickly. (chuckles)
157
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:49,398
How about a piece
of cake? I'd love some.
158
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,233
But I really shouldn't -
159
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,269
my therapist says
I have food issues.
160
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,905
Oh, please! Who doesn't?
161
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:59,475
So you're in therapy?
Yeah. Started two weeks ago.
162
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,666
I got a coupon.
163
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:06,549
Discount therapy! This
is an interesting idea.
164
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:07,850
Maybe I shouldn't tempt you.
165
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:12,722
What does that therapist
know? He accepts coupons!
166
00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,924
So how about a
little piece, then?
167
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,660
How about a big hunk? OK!
168
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:21,130
Tim, I want you to come
over here and meet Marie.
169
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,273
She's volunteered to
help me with the library
170
00:10:23,297 --> 00:10:25,201
fundraiser. You finally
hooked somebody.
171
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:28,037
Yeah. I got a piece of cake out of
the deal, too. Nice to meet you, Marie.
172
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,739
Hi, handsome. Thank
you. There you go.
173
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:32,274
I want to sit and chitchat, but
I'm gonna go put the grill on.
174
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,509
I'll show it to you later.
175
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,745
I thought you
already did that today.
176
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,914
I didn't tell you. I
met our new neighbor,
177
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:41,818
Mr. Meat Man, Mr. Obnoxious.
178
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:45,421
This guy comes
over, breaks the grill...
179
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,957
Did he happen to give you a pen?
180
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,026
Yeah, with a big cow
on. Know the guy?
181
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:53,317
Mm, I'm married
to him. Oh, yeah!
182
00:10:56,890 --> 00:11:01,671
Wait a minute. I said
"obnoxious" - I meant "gregarious."
183
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,572
Listen, no need
to explain to me.
184
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:06,342
I call him a lot
worse, believe me.
185
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,344
I gotta go home, Jill. I
gotta cook some supper.
186
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,613
But you didn't finish your
cake! I'm taking it with me.
187
00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:14,183
Oh, OK. I'll walk you out. All
right. See you later, dollface.
188
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,218
Nice to meet you. Oh, Tim.
189
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:19,410
While I'm gone, can you try to
get your foot out of your mouth?
190
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:23,993
I'm gonna pound you!
Hey, hey, cut it out.
191
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:27,130
You're supposed to be setting
the table. What's going on?
192
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:31,600
Word got out about lover
boy's idea to meet girls.
193
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:34,859
Every guy in the seventh
grade signed up for home ec.
194
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:43,012
Dad, they put us in separate
class - 30 boys and no girls.
195
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:46,082
And we have to sew!
196
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,750
I'd like to help you
out, Brad, I really would.
197
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:50,887
But I got a whole drawer full
of socks that need darning.
198
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:52,221
Man!
199
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,257
And maybe after that you
can crochet me a sweater.
200
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,993
Yeah.
201
00:11:57,017 --> 00:12:00,429
You gotta still set that table!
No running in the house!
202
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,999
Nice going, as usual, Tim!
203
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:06,769
I smoothed it over, though. We're having
dinner with Joe and Marie on Saturday.
204
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:09,906
We don't wanna do that!
205
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,708
I do. I like Marie.
206
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,743
I don't like Joe. You
don't know that guy.
207
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,712
You only spent a couple
of minutes with him.
208
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:18,715
And he's loud, obnoxious,
thinks he knows about cars.
209
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:21,584
Why does this sound familiar?
210
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:26,756
Oh, look, you like Marie? Why
don't you go out with Marie?
211
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,692
Come on, they're new in the
neighborhood. They don't know anybody.
212
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:32,962
Besides, it's an opportunity for us to
go out with another couple for a change.
213
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:36,099
Well, pick another couple.
How about Jack and Suzanne?
214
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:38,123
They don't like you.
215
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,772
We could go out with the couple
we went out with last weekend?
216
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:46,097
Al and his mother do
not constitute a couple.
217
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:51,369
Al's mother by herself constitutes
a couple. "Where's the meat?"
218
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,220
You're going!
219
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,632
Grr!
220
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:12,034
I'll tell you what. Let's
just go to the salad bar -
221
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,936
we can be out of
here in one hour.
222
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,471
Oh, right. And if we don't chew,
223
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,855
we can be out of
here in five minutes.
224
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:22,444
Hey, Tool Man! Oh!
225
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,346
Finally, I'm meeting
Mrs. Tool Man.
226
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:25,581
Honey, honey, her name's Jill.
227
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,450
Hey, Jill. Hi, Joe.
228
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,434
Come here. I'm a
hugger. I'm a shaker.
229
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:34,857
Sit down! Sit down, please.
230
00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:37,093
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
231
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:39,561
Tonight everything's
on The Meat Man.
232
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:43,632
Don't look at the prices. Order
whatever you want. Ah, chicken I'll have.
233
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,903
You don't come to a place like the
Chuck House for chicken. You want steak.
234
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,171
Honey, let him
order what he wants.
235
00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:50,106
Why don't you try the steak?
236
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,741
I don't want the steak.
I'd like the chicken.
237
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:56,078
But you can get chicken
anywhere. I like the chicken here.
238
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:58,447
No, you want the steak
here. They make it so rare,
239
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:01,172
you need eight rolls
to sop up the blood.
240
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,753
I think I'll have the chicken.
241
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:07,223
Jill, you gotta have the steak.
242
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,192
It's just what the doctor
ordered for your condition.
243
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:11,994
What condition? Tell
us about the steaks.
244
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:15,397
I told you, she doesn't have
a condition. Tim said she did.
245
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:19,802
He's right you can go anywhere
for chicken. Let's have steaks.
246
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:22,705
And what condition
would that be, Tim?
247
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:23,973
Tim said you got no pep
248
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:27,043
and you stay in bed
for days at a time.
249
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:30,980
And why did you say
that?! I didn't say that.
250
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,815
Yeah, you did. I did not.
251
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:34,505
Then what did you say?
252
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:42,258
I was in the garage. I can't remember what
I say in the garage 'cause of the fumes.
253
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,428
Look, the drinks
are here. Oh, boy.
254
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:49,531
We didn't order any
drinks. Joe took the liberty.
255
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:52,001
For the three of us, I
got Cabernet Sauvignon.
256
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:55,037
And for you, Jill,
I got, uh... this.
257
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:59,008
What is this? It's
a Shirley Temple.
258
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:02,633
Yeah, Tim told me about
your other little problem.
259
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:09,352
Excuse me, waitress? Can you
bring us some extra rolls, please?
260
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,675
I'm gonna need 'em
to sop up all the blood.
261
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,716
(horror film on TV)
262
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:32,008
I'm never gonna
finish this stupid hat.
263
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:36,879
Well, then you won't get a chance
to make the skirt that goes with it.
264
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:39,048
How'd you like a split lip?
265
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:42,851
Great. You'd get extra
credit for sewing it back up.
266
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:47,089
Hey, hey! All right, all
right! Cool down, you guys.
267
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,025
Randy, don't make
fun of your brother.
268
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:54,063
Sewing is a valuable skill
that has served me well.
269
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:57,866
You know how to
sew? You're darn tootin'!
270
00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:01,637
And I learned to
sew in the navy.
271
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,639
I didn't know you
were in the navy.
272
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,574
Signed up when I was 18.
273
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:08,544
Wanted to travel the world,
cast my fortune to the wind,
274
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,879
sail the seven seas.
275
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,649
Where'd you sail?
276
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:16,685
Nowhere.
277
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,010
I was stationed
in Fallon, Nevada.
278
00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:22,491
(garage door opening)
279
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,026
Holy smokes, your
folks are home!
280
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:27,129
Quick, turn that
off. Get up to bed.
281
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,831
Mark! Mark, wake up.
282
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:32,234
Wake up, you gotta go to sleep.
283
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:34,725
But I was sleeping.
284
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:40,809
Hi. Hey. So, how
was the evening?
285
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,712
Great. I'm hungry. I thought
you went out to dinner.
286
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,648
His steak was a little rare.
287
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:49,307
A little rare? That
steak had a bell on it!
288
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,590
Where are those cookies?
289
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,892
I ate them.
290
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,494
All of 'em?
291
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,397
You're not paying me. You said
I could eat whatever I wanted.
292
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:04,900
Don't pay any attention to him.
293
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:09,638
He's probably just upset because his
wife has severe emotional problems.
294
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:12,941
I told Joe that to get him out of
the garage. We've discussed this.
295
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,666
So you said, "My
wife is a slug"?
296
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:19,904
I was desperate. Where
are those little sausages?
297
00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:24,887
Al, Tim told our new neighbors
298
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:28,891
that I was a depressed
alcoholic with a sleeping disorder.
299
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:31,360
Only an insensitive jerk
would have repeated that.
300
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,829
If you wanted those sausages,
you should have told me.
301
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,898
Would you shut up?!
302
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:39,335
This isn't Al's problem. No,
the problem is The Meat Man.
303
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,603
No, the problem is your
brain serves no function
304
00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:44,067
other than keeping
your head from caving in!
305
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,703
(softly) Wilson.
306
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,739
Wilson!
307
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,743
Wilson.
308
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,524
Tim? Wilson, you up?
309
00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:17,206
I am now.
310
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,330
Have you ever had a
real annoying neighbor?
311
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,565
Tim, is this a trick question?
312
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,487
No, I'm talking about
that guy next door to me.
313
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,422
He just moved in - Joe.
314
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,913
He's already bugging me.
315
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,028
I know the feeling, Tim.
316
00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:42,798
That guy is such
a pain in the butt.
317
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,833
Just being around him
gives me a headache.
318
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:47,703
Tim, you wouldn't happen to
have an aspirin on you, would you?
319
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:50,272
What would you do?
320
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:53,442
Well, what I would do, when I'm
face-to face with an irksome individual,
321
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:57,301
I always say look for
the good in people.
322
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:01,283
Huh. And that works?
Most of the time.
323
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,884
And if it doesn't...
324
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,342
I take his ball away.
325
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:14,396
Hey, Tool Man. (clank)
326
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:16,064
Boy, you're jumpy!
327
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,866
Do you ever use
the front door, Joe?
328
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,202
You really got me in
hot water with your wife.
329
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:23,172
I kept trying to figure out
why you'd tell me a lie like that.
330
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:26,942
Then it comes to me.
331
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:30,446
You're having an affair, right?
No, I'm not having an affair.
332
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:34,416
OK, then I know what
it is. You hate me.
333
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,051
I wouldn't say that...
334
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:38,854
Hey, don't apologize.
335
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,722
I know The Meat Man
comes on strong sometimes.
336
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:43,027
I'm not everybody's cut of beef.
337
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,728
I'm sorry.
338
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:49,931
Hey, look. I'm the one who should
apologize for that stupid story.
339
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:52,868
Well, I should learn how
to let people eat chicken.
340
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:55,304
Anyway, Tool Man, I
got something for you.
341
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,562
That's all right, Joe.
You didn't need to do that.
342
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,944
Hey!
343
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,080
Hey!
344
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:06,615
This is an original '33.
345
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:10,107
Yeah, well, I felt real bad
about denting your fake one.
346
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:16,358
These are impossible to find. I looked
for two years. Not for The Meat Man.
347
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,527
I called in a few
favors, drove to Ohio,
348
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,197
bingo-bango, you
got yourself a grill.
349
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,821
The grill of my dreams!
350
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:30,639
This must have cost a fortune.
Don't worry about it. I'm doing great.
351
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:34,176
When the hot rod's all done, give me a spin
around the block, we'll call it even, OK?
352
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,667
You got it. See
you around, buddy.
353
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:40,904
Thanks, Joe.
354
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:45,120
Was that Joe's
voice I heard? Yeah.
355
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:46,755
Look what he did.
356
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:50,959
He found an original grill
for the '33 - an original!
357
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:54,863
You know, like I always say,
358
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:58,701
you just gotta find
the good in people.
359
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:00,669
So now you like The Meat Man?
360
00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:02,771
(grunts) Yeah, I like Meat Man.
361
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:07,309
And honey, I apologize for making
up that stupid story. I was out of line.
362
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:11,547
But you know what? If you and Marie
want to go out as a couples, I'm in.
363
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:14,750
Marie and I definitely wanna
go out as couples. All right.
364
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,214
We just gotta find
two other guys.
365
00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:26,228
Yeah, Jerry. Oh, you want
us to see your vacation videos?
366
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:29,197
Oh, that's too
bad. We can't do it.
367
00:21:29,221 --> 00:21:31,867
No, no. Tim's working late.
368
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:34,303
No, he's not here.
369
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:37,473
I'm so sorry. Maybe
some other time.
370
00:21:37,497 --> 00:21:40,609
OK, bye-bye.
371
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:44,846
Liar, liar, bra's on fire!
372
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:46,682
So you wanna go to
over to Jerry and Sheila's,
373
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:49,050
and watch them argue
their way through Europe?
374
00:21:49,074 --> 00:21:52,354
That's not the point. Why is it I can't
lie about you and you can lie about me?
375
00:21:52,378 --> 00:21:55,257
Because I'm better at it!
376
00:21:55,281 --> 00:21:58,727
Tim, if you're gonna lie about me,
you have to use common sense.
377
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:03,131
Wait. Hold on. We have
to find another guideline.
378
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:06,168
Why don't we just sit down and discuss
acceptable lies and non-acceptable lies.
379
00:22:06,192 --> 00:22:08,771
OK, OK. I'll give
you some, all right?
380
00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:10,572
Lie number one...
381
00:22:10,596 --> 00:22:12,908
"I can't go out tonight
382
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:16,900
because my wife is accepting
a Mother of the Year award."
383
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:22,083
OK. All right, lie number two.
384
00:22:22,107 --> 00:22:26,322
"I can't go out tonight because
my wife is finishing her third book."
385
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:29,825
Reading it or
writing it? Very funny!
386
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,761
All right, I'm getting the vibe.
387
00:22:32,785 --> 00:22:36,420
"We can't go out tonight because
my wife is braiding her back hair."
388
00:22:42,161 --> 00:22:43,939
Not acceptable! A
little over the top?
389
00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:45,341
Yeah. All right.
390
00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:47,209
"I can't go out tonight
because my wife will be
391
00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:49,511
hugging me and smothering
me in romantic kisses."
392
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:52,296
Acceptable, but nauseating. OK.
393
00:22:56,809 --> 00:23:00,789
I always say look for
the good in people.
394
00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:02,891
And that works?
Most of the time.
395
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:05,026
And if it doesn't...
396
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,763
I miss the ball!
397
00:23:07,787 --> 00:23:12,167
I always say look for
the good in people.
398
00:23:12,191 --> 00:23:14,392
And that works?
Most of the time.
398
00:23:15,305 --> 00:24:15,458
Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/8d4qh
Help other users to choose the best subtitles