1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,735
Guys, here she comes. Get ready.
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:08,607
Mom, my mouth hurts.
3
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:16,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
4
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,920
You see what happens
when you don't floss?
5
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:27,704
Hey, all right. Blood
capsules. Cool.
6
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,739
You know what goes
really good with those?
7
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:30,807
(Brad) What?
8
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:32,575
Hi, baby. Hi, sweetie.
9
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:35,212
Pus pellets. (Jill) Ew!
10
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,547
I got yellow and green
ones, enough for all you guys,
11
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,749
but don't squeeze
'em until Halloween.
12
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,684
All right.
13
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:45,489
Oh, Dad. Now we have
all this Halloween junk.
14
00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:49,692
Skeletons, brains and
mummy-wrapping tape.
15
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,295
Gotta have wrapping tape. You
don't want to see your mummy naked.
16
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:54,764
Ha-ha-ha-ha. Very funny.
17
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,800
Dad, I don't see
any rubber guts.
18
00:00:57,824 --> 00:01:00,770
How can we have a Halloween
party without rubber guts?
19
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,773
Let me tell you
something, little mister.
20
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:07,244
When I was your age,
we didn't have rubber guts.
21
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:09,979
We had to use real guts.
22
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:13,050
This is why you're lucky
to have two parents.
23
00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:15,852
I got these from the
rubber-guts catalog.
24
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,687
(boys) All right.
25
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:21,724
Here's your stomach, your large
intestine, a spleen, some colon.
26
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,027
Mom, you are too cool.
Thank you, sweetie.
27
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,096
Oh, good! You
got the carrot cake.
28
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,265
They did a great job.
They got those candy corns
29
00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:30,534
in the shape of jack-o'-lanterns.
Look at this thing.
30
00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:31,823
Aah!
31
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,798
What do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
32
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:56,353
As you can see, with the
Binford Light Oak stain,
33
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:58,888
you get a nice...
34
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,190
honey-colored...
35
00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:02,548
(mouths)
36
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,397
finish.
37
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,266
That's right, Al.
38
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,701
When you're all
finished with this,
39
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,070
you wanna put a thin coat of
Binford polyurethane on there.
40
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,973
Now Binford provides this in
an economical two-gallon size.
41
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,876
Al, you want to pop
the top? Be glad to, Tim.
42
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,700
Aah!
43
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:28,084
Al... Al... Al...
44
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:31,821
Al... Al.
45
00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:33,823
I can't believe you fell for
46
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,293
the old "head in the
polyurethane" gag.
47
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:39,762
I guess this must mean
Halloween is just around the corner.
48
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:42,232
Or else you've
found a sick new way
49
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:45,068
to celebrate Columbus Day.
50
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:47,770
Nope, Halloween.
51
00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:49,761
No, no, no, no, no!
52
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:55,579
I can see by the clock
on the wall that we have...
53
00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:57,214
way too many minutes left.
54
00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:59,916
So we can do a quick
pose-off, Al and I.
55
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:02,460
(imitates Schwarzenegger) Come
on, Maria, show me your biceps.
56
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,356
Or we could get to
some viewer mail.
57
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:07,912
Heidi, the mail, please.
58
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,495
Here you go, Tim. This
one came with cookies.
59
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:15,665
Hey. And a rose!
60
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,134
All right.
61
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:21,271
"Dear Tim, I'm your biggest fan.
62
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:25,975
"I watch you every day and
dream about you every night.
63
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,678
I hope you like these
cookies I baked." You bet I will.
64
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:32,749
"Your admirer, Rose." This is the second
letter I've gotten from Rose this week.
65
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,619
Did you hear that, Al? She
dreams about me every night.
66
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:38,343
It sounds like she has
a sleeping disorder.
67
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:50,900
Al, don't be jealous,
don't be jealous.
68
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,444
You'll get some letters one day.
Change your name to "Occupant."
69
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,942
That wouldn't be necessary, Tim.
70
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,966
Heidi, my mail, please.
71
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,783
Here you go, Al.
72
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,552
Thank you, Heidi.
You're welcome.
73
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:12,121
If Tim's face appears
green, don't adjust your TV.
74
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,424
It's just envy.
75
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:17,761
Yeah, but anybody
can get letters like that.
76
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,562
I got cookies.
77
00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,386
Boys!
78
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:33,009
I really am grateful to you
for helping me with this party.
79
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,912
What else have I got
to do? Joe's out of town.
80
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:38,981
I can think of a few things I'd
like to do when Tim's out of town.
81
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,685
Like what? (door closes)
82
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,141
Change the locks.
83
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,177
Hi, honey.
84
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:49,414
(Jill) Whoa!
85
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:55,186
You should start scrubbing
with a stronger soap.
86
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,770
Oh, no. What's
gonna pop out of that?
87
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,872
Nothing. That's some
cookies a fan made me.
88
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,897
Yeah, right. You have a fan.
89
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:11,013
Her name is Rose, and she
sent me two letters this week.
90
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,049
Let's see. No! Don't touch that.
91
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:16,353
It's probably full of slimy
eyeballs or something.
92
00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:19,155
Ooh! Cookies! Give me
one. No. You made fun of me.
93
00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,413
How about me?
No. You're her friend.
94
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:23,893
Hey, Dad. Hi, Mom.
95
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:26,162
Hey, guys. Hi, sweetie.
96
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,164
Ooh, nice warts.
97
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:32,101
Yeah? Wait till you see
what I got your mom.
98
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,971
I got her the biggest,
hairiest mole they make.
99
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,806
Ooh.
100
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:40,042
This is gonna go well with that
armpit hair you gave me last Halloween.
101
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,344
Is that good?
102
00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,980
Hey, guys, what are you
gonna be for Halloween?
103
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,849
We're gonna be
the Three Stooges.
104
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:48,985
Yes! That's great!
105
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,521
I grew up with those guys. I
love those guys. The Stooges.
106
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:54,657
Moe for his
leadership qualities.
107
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:57,026
Larry for his quick wit.
108
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,295
Curly for his ability to
go, "Whoo-whoo-whoo!"
109
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:00,697
(both) Whoo-whoo-whoo.
110
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:03,099
Of all the people in the world,
why do you wanna be the Stooges?
111
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,101
They're obnoxious, they're
constantly hitting each other...
112
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,837
It just became clear.
113
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:13,075
What is it with the Stooges? All men
seem to adore them, even the smart ones.
114
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,211
I don't think that Einstein did.
115
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:18,581
Are you kidding? Einstein
was a big Stooge fan.
116
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,605
Why do you think he
wore his hair like Larry's?
117
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:29,158
Yeah, that'll work.
That'll scare everybody.
118
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:30,894
(phone rings)
119
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,551
Oh. Hang in there.
120
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,990
Y-ello. Happy Halloween. Boo.
121
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:43,807
Rose?
122
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:46,709
Rose - Cookie Rose? Sure, I got
the cookies. Thank you very much.
123
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:47,811
What?
124
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:50,413
You're in love with me?
125
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:52,549
You want me?
126
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:55,952
It's a gag, Jill.
It's not that funny.
127
00:07:55,976 --> 00:08:00,056
Of course you're not Jill. Oh,
no. How silly of me. No, no.
128
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,224
In that case, I love you, too.
129
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:05,484
Yes. We should go
some... Alone, alone.
130
00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:11,013
Jill won't know. Yeah,
my wife, she's real slow.
131
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:13,603
Excuse me? Yeah, Jill, yeah.
132
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,005
Hi, Ji - Jill, you're
not on the phone?
133
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,775
And you call me slow?
134
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:21,478
That means this is Rose, the
woman that sent me the cookies.
135
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,145
She says she wants me.
136
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:26,015
Tell her she can have you.
137
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,885
You tell her. You can have him.
138
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,587
Hello? Hello?
139
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:33,389
There is no one here,
Tim. You are so full of it!
140
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,592
Is a little head gonna
pop out of here now?
141
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,695
No. She was on the phone.
142
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,830
How could she get our
number? It's unlisted.
143
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,399
How the heck do I know?
But Rose was on the phone.
144
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:46,202
Yeah, right. Look, Tim, I
know how badly you want a fan.
145
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:49,060
Just hang in there. One of
these days, you'll get one.
146
00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:57,881
Hey, Wilson.
147
00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,438
Hi-dee-ho and
boo, good neighbor.
148
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:05,054
Hey, let me ask you a question.
149
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,991
Let's say you wanted my phone
number. How would you get it?
150
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:10,059
I already have
your phone number.
151
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,495
I know. What if
you didn't have it?
152
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,631
I suppose I'd just ask you for
it. What if you didn't know me?
153
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:17,175
Then why would
I want to call you?
154
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,437
Boy, I wish I was friendly with some
of the other neighbors around here.
155
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,294
(laughs)
156
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,610
What is troubling you,
my little fence friend?
157
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:29,646
All right.
158
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:33,016
I got kind of an odd call by this
woman who sent me a fan letter at work.
159
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,018
My phone number's unlisted.
160
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,186
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
161
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:41,024
That is a concern. I hope you're
not dealing with an obsessed fan.
162
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:43,125
No, no, no, no, Tim.
163
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:46,295
Sometimes they see somebody on
TV, they start idolizing that person.
164
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,820
Sometimes they
even send them gifts.
165
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,736
Like chocolate
macadamia nut cookies?
166
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,039
That's a good and
tasty possibility.
167
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:59,664
Though I'd be very cautious
about eating anything that they send.
168
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:12,689
Oh, Marie, it is going so well.
169
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:16,626
This is gonna get Tim back for every
Halloween prank he ever pulled on me.
170
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:19,228
The severed thumb in my Jell-O.
171
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,998
Yeah, the tarantula in
my underwear drawer.
172
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,067
Well, Wilson is in on it, too.
173
00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:26,992
Yeah, yeah. He's
freaking him out even more.
174
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,514
Tim, I wouldn't worry about it.
175
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:42,284
If the cookies were poisoned,
you'd feel the effects by now.
176
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:47,724
I don't know. I got this
burning-bile feeling in there now.
177
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,492
You're gonna be fine.
178
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:52,629
Listen, I'll talk to
you later, Marie.
179
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,863
I mean, I should say...
180
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,865
(soft and seductive) Rose.
181
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:59,068
(evil laugh)
182
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,324
Yeah. Bye.
183
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,537
(doorbell rings)
184
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:32,301
Is that you, Rose?
185
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:35,538
Hello. Nice to see you, too.
186
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:37,674
Sorry. I thought you
were some crazed wacko.
187
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:40,309
Oh, I'm just your
run-of-the-mill wacko.
188
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:43,646
Tim, put the bat down.
I'm so sorry, Marie.
189
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:45,915
Remember that woman
that sent him the cookies?
190
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,718
He's convinced that
she's obsessed with him.
191
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:52,021
You want some coffee?
Yeah, I'd love some.
192
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:56,225
Wilson said sometimes obsessed
fans will send you poisoned food.
193
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,227
Ooh! That's true.
194
00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:00,362
Those cookies had
a lot of butter in them.
195
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,398
Butter's very
high in cholesterol.
196
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:05,334
She could be trying
to kill you slowly.
197
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:08,938
Tim, I got some jack-o'-lanterns
in the car. Will you get 'em for me?
198
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,439
You bet. Sure.
199
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:14,343
Unless you are afraid that
Rose is hiding in the backseat.
200
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,913
(hisses)
201
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:19,882
You want some cream
or sugar? No, thanks.
202
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,151
(door closes) He
really looks nervous.
203
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,754
Yeah, he's a total
wreck. Isn't it great?
204
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,989
It's the very best
prank I've seen
205
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:29,680
since we superglued
Grandma to the toilet seat.
206
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:32,661
You what?
207
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,831
Hey, she wasn't my grandma.
208
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,099
(laughs)
209
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:38,768
Here he comes.
210
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:41,470
Jill, I think you should take
this Rose thing seriously.
211
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,505
I'm in therapy, so
I know for a fact
212
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:45,541
there are a lot
of nuts out there.
213
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:49,145
But why would anyone
be obsessed with Tim?
214
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,881
Because I'm very obsessable.
215
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:56,141
Oh, Tim. I'm married to you,
and I barely think about you.
216
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,989
You think this is
real funny, don't you?
217
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,725
There could be a woman out
there fantasizing about me right now.
218
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:06,295
What is she fantasizing, that you
come over to her house late at night,
219
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:09,220
bring some wine and blow
up her garbage disposal?
220
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,470
Jill, I don't think you
should joke about this.
221
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,505
These people can be dangerous.
222
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,507
Do you really think so?
223
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,643
I think Tim should
watch his step.
224
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,679
Yeah. Thanks. You're welcome.
225
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:27,683
Well, maybe you're right. Tim, I
think you should phone in sick today.
226
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:32,521
No way. I will not
live my life in fear.
227
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,279
D-oh!
228
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,763
That unkinked my colon.
229
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:42,420
Get out of the way!
230
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,272
Hey, Al. Tim?
231
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:52,208
Did you notice whether there were
any women in the audience today?
232
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,977
I didn't notice, but there's
always a few. Why?
233
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,847
No reason. Hey, do me a favor.
234
00:13:57,871 --> 00:14:00,905
Would you go out there and see
if any of them look... obsessed?
235
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,320
Obsessed?
236
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:09,525
Yeah. The same look you get when you're
sitting in front of a plate of pancakes.
237
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:12,829
And here they are, those two guys
who are no fools when it comes to tools -
238
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:14,997
Tim Taylor and Al Borland!
239
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,866
Whoo!
240
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,057
(applause and cheering)
241
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:24,795
Thank you. Welcome to Tool Time.
242
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,751
Golly, there's a lot of women
in the audience today, Heidi.
243
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,587
That's right, Tim. This afternoon,
we're honored to have with us
244
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:41,891
the Women's
Sharpshooters Club of Detroit!
245
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:47,585
Well, welcome, sharpshooters.
246
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,467
I am Tim Taylor.
This is Tool Time.
247
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:54,325
You all know my assistant
- Al "Bull's-Eye" Borland.
248
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,407
You know, a lot of
people don't know
249
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:01,665
that Tool Time isn't just
about home improvement.
250
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:06,237
It's also about frisking people.
251
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:10,452
Would you take the
honors today, Al?
252
00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:13,289
I don't think so, Tim.
253
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:16,959
Today, we're going to be
talking about insulating windows.
254
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:18,549
Yes, we are.
255
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:24,200
Caulking, window insulation...
256
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:28,037
And that's all the time we
have. Have a safe drive home.
257
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:31,007
Tim. Tim! Tim!
258
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,942
Come in to the
crowd. Get the crowd.
259
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:36,412
I wanna see the whole audience.
Focus. I gotta see the girls out here.
260
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:40,983
Tim! We're not gonna talk
about windows, are we?
261
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:43,485
Why do we have projects?
Why do we even have a show?
262
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,487
I'm having a
little difficulty...
263
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:48,024
Tim, I found this. It
was addressed to you.
264
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:50,526
It's a rose. Get
this outta here.
265
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:53,296
Men and women sure react
differently to getting flowers.
266
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,565
You should at least read
it. I don't wanna read it.
267
00:15:56,589 --> 00:16:00,769
"My dearest Tim, I'm
in the front row today.
268
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:05,041
Tonight, I'll be even closer
when I'm at your Halloween party."
269
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,310
Great.
270
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:10,435
"Don't reject my affections,
or you'll be sorry. Rose."
271
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:22,291
Al, don't you think it's mean,
what were doing to Tim?
272
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,015
Yes, I do.
273
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:39,508
Hi, Shirl.
274
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,677
It's me - Al.
275
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,434
Oh.
276
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:47,805
Aah!
277
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:53,344
(♪ spooky)
278
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:04,822
(screaming)
279
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:19,137
Excuse me.
280
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:27,156
Hey, good to see
you. Who is that?
281
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,891
Nice party, Tim. Heidi.
282
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:33,062
Spooky. Nice hair. Spooky. Uhh.
283
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:36,298
Honey, what were you thinking about
when you picked out these costumes?
284
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:37,966
A widow and a corpse?
285
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,169
By the time I got there,
there wasn't much left.
286
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:42,826
It was either a
corpse or Bob Vila.
287
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:48,477
What's the difference?
288
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:52,214
Is it my imagination, or are
we surrounded by death tonight?
289
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,417
Death was a very
hot costume this year.
290
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:57,619
Black is very slimming.
291
00:17:57,643 --> 00:18:00,789
Why don't these people just
get dressed up as licorice?
292
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,458
Honey, will you relax?
293
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,626
Nobody's gonna get by Al
unless they're on the guest list.
294
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,728
Oh, yeah, our
crack security ape.
295
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,454
(Tim) Al? Al.
296
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:17,406
Hey! Hey! Banana breath!
297
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,309
You let another fiend slip by.
298
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:23,312
Oh, no, that's OK. That's
just Reverend McDonald.
299
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,616
Hi, Reverend.
300
00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,285
Boy, It's...
301
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:30,119
it's hot in there.
302
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:34,022
Put your mask back on.
You're scaring all the kids.
303
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:37,226
Just watch the door.
Please? All right, I will.
304
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:41,297
I'm gonna change that music.
It's too spooky for Halloween.
305
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:42,453
Aah!
306
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:46,168
Hello. Hello.
307
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:47,236
Hello.
308
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,460
(all) Hello!
309
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,743
Wait a minute. Why did
your father dress you all alike?
310
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,734
We all wanted to be Moe.
311
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,304
Spread out, knuckleheads.
312
00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:03,486
Ow!
313
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:07,123
Oh. Wise guys, eh?
314
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:08,524
Ohh! Ohh!
315
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,692
Ow! Ow!
316
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:12,961
Ow! Ow!
317
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,163
Ow!
318
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:16,654
(all) Ow!
319
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:25,073
Hey! Don't do that, Wilson.
320
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:27,009
I'm sorry, Tim.
321
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:29,833
I didn't mean to frighten you, but
a lady asked me to give this to you.
322
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:33,749
It's a rose.
323
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:36,207
That was my first reaction.
324
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:40,623
Where is she?
325
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,991
She seems to have disappeared.
326
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:46,895
A lady dressed all in red.
Had an air of menace about her.
327
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:48,152
Did she?
328
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:07,406
Uhh.
329
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:15,658
Oh, boy.
330
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:19,783
(all) Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
331
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,567
Excuse us for a minute.
332
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:25,967
Rose is here.
333
00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:27,670
Rose, the obsessed fan?
334
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:29,427
No, Rose Kennedy.
335
00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:33,075
Yes, Rose, the obsessed
fan! Where is she?
336
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:34,379
Right over there.
337
00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:39,948
This is so creepy.
338
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:42,784
Maybe you should call the
police. Maybe you're right.
339
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:44,786
Wait, no! Don't do it down here.
340
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:46,855
You'll scare the
guests. Go upstairs.
341
00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:50,581
Promise me one thing. If anything
happens to me, shoot the ape.
342
00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:54,585
Oww!
343
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:10,579
Operator? What's
the number for 911?
344
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:11,647
Slow down.
345
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,749
(knock on door) Jill?
346
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,474
Guess again. It's Rose.
347
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,356
I'll... be right there.
348
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:22,991
I'm just going to fix my face.
349
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:24,248
Eww.
350
00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:32,055
Come on in. Come on.
351
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:37,773
Aah! Trick or treat!
352
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,964
(whooping and laughter)
353
00:21:44,370 --> 00:21:46,448
You look beautiful!
354
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:49,184
(Al) That was a great trick!
355
00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:54,044
The king of Halloween is
dead. Long live the queen.
356
00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:02,953
(♪ romantic)
357
00:22:07,527 --> 00:22:09,237
What's all this stuff?
358
00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:12,981
I thought I'd put a little
romance back in Halloween.
359
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:18,314
I've always been attracted
to dead, pasty-faced guys.
360
00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:20,416
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
361
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,773
You better kiss me
before rigor mortis sets in.
362
00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:30,426
Care to dance, my widow woman?
363
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:33,351
I'd love to, Dead Astaire.
364
00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:43,004
Ah.
365
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,273
Nice party.
366
00:22:45,297 --> 00:22:47,509
Spin me, Mr. Taylor. Spin me.
367
00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:49,211
You got it.
368
00:22:49,235 --> 00:22:51,547
Aah!
369
00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:54,015
The king is back!
370
00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:56,485
He's got one arm,
but the king is back.
371
00:22:56,509 --> 00:22:57,541
Thank you.
372
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:05,728
As you can see, with the
Binford Light Oak stain,
373
00:23:05,752 --> 00:23:07,629
you will get a nice...
374
00:23:07,653 --> 00:23:09,665
honey-colored...
375
00:23:09,689 --> 00:23:10,809
finish.
376
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,737
(laughter)
377
00:23:14,761 --> 00:23:16,605
With the Binford
Light Oak stain,
378
00:23:16,629 --> 00:23:20,008
you'll get a nice
honey-colored finish.
379
00:23:20,032 --> 00:23:22,811
That's right. When
you're through with that,
380
00:23:22,835 --> 00:23:25,213
you'll want to put a light,
little (gibberish) on top.
381
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:26,882
(man) Oh...
382
00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:27,971
Oh, what?
382
00:23:28,305 --> 00:24:28,400
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