1
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,615
You want your bedroom
the color of a football.
2
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:07,617
Your wife wants it
the color of a daisy.
3
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:10,387
What color do you
prefer, men? Football!
4
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:11,931
Hey, hey! Daisy.
5
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:15,080
(cheering)
6
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:20,352
Well, Tim, I like my
bedroom to be light and airy.
7
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,834
Just like Al.
8
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,970
We're going to paint the
bedroom the color of a football.
9
00:00:26,994 --> 00:00:29,139
Now, how do we match
this color perfectly?
10
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:32,075
We use the Binford
250 Paint Boy. Right.
11
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:34,644
It mixes the color and
analyzes the pigments.
12
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:38,382
Would that be the
Three Little Pigments?
13
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:39,916
No, Tim, it wouldn't.
14
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:42,119
Sure it would.
Take your football,
15
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:45,722
set it underneath the electric
eye, press your color key,
16
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:49,026
and boom - we've got
ourselves Touchdown Brown.
17
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,461
And this works with
more than just footballs.
18
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,563
You can duplicate any
of your favorite colors.
19
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:54,831
That's right.
20
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:59,536
Antifreeze Green,
Roadkill Gray... Oh.
21
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,539
Smash-Your-Thumb-
With-A-Hammer Purple.
22
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,707
But today, we develop a
color just for Tool Time -
23
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,432
the color Al.
24
00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:09,046
Excuse me, Tim?
25
00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:11,048
I'm gonna make
a color out of you.
26
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:13,883
You'll be bigger than Fuchsia.
27
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,785
This is absolutely ridiculous.
28
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,088
Let's show 'em what the
machine can do. Play along, Al.
29
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:20,123
That's not what the machine...
30
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:22,392
Al, just put your
finger in there.
31
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,993
There you go.
32
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:25,584
OK.
33
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:31,156
One part Pasty White,
two parts Flannel. OK.
34
00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:35,939
I don't wanna be a color.
35
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:39,198
Neither did Red, and look how
well things turned out for him.
36
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:44,114
Computer's in. All right.
37
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:47,084
(burbling) Oh, yeah.
38
00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:52,055
Now we got a bucket of Al, and I'm
ready to paint with Big Al here. OK.
39
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:56,126
Of course, Al is economical
in the gallon size here.
40
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:58,850
Al goes on smooth,
just like that.
41
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:06,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
42
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,957
The Al paint can be cleaned
up with soap and water.
43
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,682
Unlike the real Al, which needs
turpentine and a wire brush.
44
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,133
For larger jobs - industrial
buildings and warehouses -
45
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:39,024
we suggest a roller and a
couple of gallons of Al's mom.
46
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:54,566
What do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
47
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:01,751
Hey, Tim. Hey, Joe. What's up?
48
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,753
Hey, what are you doin'?
49
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:06,256
Taking my hot rod apart.
50
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,658
Didn't you just put this
thing together? Or am I nuts?
51
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,849
Bingo on both counts.
52
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,197
I'm taking it apart
piece by piece,
53
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:16,466
send it to my paint
guy - Fred Axleby.
54
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:19,068
Should be all ready
to go in two months.
55
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,705
Two months? I got a paint
guy who'll spray it in one hour.
56
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:24,169
You don't even have
to get out of the car.
57
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:28,111
In one hour? Will
he develop my film?
58
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:32,515
Oh. Sorry. So, is
Marie over here?
59
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:34,551
She and Jill are in
looking at dresses
60
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,553
for that library
fund-raiser thing.
61
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:39,122
Which is why I'm in the garage.
62
00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:41,824
Women and clothes! Why do they make
such a big deal out of what they wear?
63
00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,693
It's important.
64
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:47,397
In my case, I'm thinking about a
three-piece pin-striped blue suit
65
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,132
with tasseled loafers.
66
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:51,033
But I'll almost certain
I'm gonna go with
67
00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:53,035
the off-the-shoulder
taffeta gown with the pumps.
68
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:55,171
Can't. That's what I'm wearing.
69
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:58,174
I'll go with the sling-backs.
That's a good look for you.
70
00:04:58,198 --> 00:04:59,409
OK.
71
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:02,746
Ohh. That is beautiful!
72
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:07,083
I don't know. It is
really expensive.
73
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:10,609
Oh, God! Even
my butt looks good.
74
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,358
Come on, Jill. You know
you deserve this dress.
75
00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:17,427
The library is halfway at
its goal because of you.
76
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,763
Why else do you think we're
having a dinner in your honor?
77
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,832
No, I can't. I don't even know
if I can sit down in this thing.
78
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:26,068
So what? It's a buffet.
79
00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:28,004
Hey, hon. Hey,
Jill. (Jill) Hi, Joe.
80
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,774
Tim, how sensational
does Jill look in this dress?
81
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:32,509
Wow!
82
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:35,133
She looks good. I've
always liked her in that dress.
83
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:40,082
Tim, this is brand-new.
You've never seen it before.
84
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:43,052
On you. I've seen it.
85
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,888
Al's got that dress.
86
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:49,192
Tim, tell her to forget about the
money and buy the dress, please.
87
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:54,364
Honey, buy the dress. You
never do anything nice for yourself.
88
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:55,699
You know how you are.
89
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,734
What do you mean? How am I?
90
00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,337
You're... tight, thrifty,
cheap, cheap-o.
91
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:03,105
I am not cheap! I'm... frugal.
92
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:05,542
Frugal? You save pickle juice.
93
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:08,712
I re-use it in the tuna fish.
94
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:11,948
If you like the dress, buy it.
We'll save money some other way.
95
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,517
We won't feed the kids
for a couple of months.
96
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:17,854
Hey, I got a dress guy who'll
get you the same thing for half.
97
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,089
No. Really? For half? Mm-hmm.
98
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,124
Not a knockoff? Not a second?
99
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:24,461
The same exact dress. It's
completely on the up and up.
100
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:27,330
Wow. OK. What's his name?
101
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:29,566
Can't say.
102
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:30,867
Well, what's his number?
103
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,302
No, you don't call
him. He calls you.
104
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:37,962
And when he calls, you say,
"The swallows fly... at midnight."
105
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:43,413
No, really. Is this on the
up and up? You swear?
106
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:47,149
I guarantee it. I've known the guy for
years. I'll have him call you tomorrow.
107
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:51,053
Great. OK. But make sure, because I
gotta have this by the end of the week.
108
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:54,524
There's the designer, this is
the dress size. Don't tell anybody.
109
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:57,960
I'd better get this off before I do
something to it. See you later, Marie.
110
00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,962
And thank you, Joe! Sure.
111
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,964
Tim, the photo lab called.
112
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:04,100
They said you didn't
bring in the picture yet.
113
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,835
Picture?
114
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:08,438
The picture of Jill you were
supposed to bring in three weeks ago.
115
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,172
Picture?
116
00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:12,174
The one we're gonna blow up and
have everyone sign at the dinner.
117
00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:13,910
The picture.
118
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,945
You gotta get it to
the photo lab by six
119
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,814
if we're gonna have
it on Saturday night.
120
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:21,050
No problem. All right.
You know, it's 5:30 now.
121
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:24,554
Big problem. Huge
problem. I know.
122
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:28,491
I can't believe the dress isn't here
yet. We have to be there in 25 minutes.
123
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:30,927
Why did I ever get involved
with Joe's dress guy?
124
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,630
Because you're
frugal. (Jill sighs)
125
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:36,265
You should never have
let me return that dress.
126
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,735
I tried to talk you
into buying the dress.
127
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:41,170
Don't argue with me now, please.
128
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,205
We've got to get out of here.
Come on. You look great.
129
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:45,308
I'm wearing a bathrobe!
130
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,310
Put on some slippers. Let's go.
131
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:50,580
Wait. Why don't you wear that
slinky blue dress that's low-cut...
132
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,582
I don't have a blue dress.
133
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,584
Then who was that?
134
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,954
Oh, I remember. Oh, ho-ho!
135
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,021
(doorbell rings)
136
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:00,712
Oh, good. He's finally here.
137
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,895
Oh, no. It's just Al.
138
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,364
It's not exactly "Glad to
see you," but I'll take it.
139
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,834
Sorry. It's just that I'm
waiting for somebody.
140
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,735
Well, you look great.
141
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:16,327
I'm wearing a robe. Doesn't
anybody notice? I'm wearing a robe!
142
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,609
Hey, guys. Hey, Al!
143
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,345
All right! Yeah! Hey!
144
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,714
I got a big evening
planned for us tonight.
145
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:27,116
Can we go see Blood-Sucking
Vampires From Mars?
146
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:29,986
No, you're not seeing
that movie. Why not?
147
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,455
I wanna see that as a family.
148
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,958
No, we're not gonna
go see a movie tonight.
149
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:38,227
I thought we'd do something
a little more interactive.
150
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:42,031
How does... miniature golf at
the Putt Putt Panorama sound?
151
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:45,234
Hey, cool! They have an
awesome video arcade.
152
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,569
No, no, no!
153
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,605
You don't go to Putt
Putt to play video games.
154
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:52,341
You go there for one thing and
one thing only - miniature golf.
155
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,643
All right! Let's go!
156
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:57,279
I don't know. I'd
rather see a movie.
157
00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:59,916
Yeah. I wanna see
The Nuttiest Raccoon.
158
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,918
The Nuttiest Raccoon?
159
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:05,376
Trust me, Mark, it's a big
disappointment. He was not that nutty.
160
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,926
I can't believe I had
to wear this dress.
161
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:11,928
Everybody's seen it. I've
worn it a thousand times.
162
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,096
I've taken it in,
out, up, down...
163
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,098
Jill, I'm really
sorry about this.
164
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,001
But you'll be happy to
know that, as of this minute,
165
00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:20,003
I'm getting a new dress guy.
166
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:23,339
Joe, don't take this the wrong
way, but... I have to kill you.
167
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,875
Honey, honey.
168
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:29,846
The parking-lot attendant loved this
dress. He said his mom's got one like it.
169
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,881
Marie, come with me.
I gotta go fix my face.
170
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,185
Good idea.
171
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,686
Not that... There's
nothing wrong with...
172
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:39,055
I didn't... There's no reason...
173
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,057
Boy, your wife
is really steamed.
174
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,526
Welcome to my world.
175
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,562
There's Jill's picture.
176
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:49,306
I'll write something nice on it.
Maybe she won't be so mad at me.
177
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,313
That's the picture
you picked out?
178
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:07,739
It looked a lot better on her
driver's license, I'll tell you that.
179
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,420
You blew up her
driver's license?
180
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,990
It's all I could find. She
hid all the photo albums.
181
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,992
Oh, boy, are you in trouble.
182
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,360
No. I'm dead.
183
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:22,031
I'm past dead. I'm
deader than dead.
184
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:25,735
You know, but the good
news is, I'm off the hook.
185
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,627
I'm gonna get something to eat.
186
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:35,277
Honey, honey. You
don't wanna go in there.
187
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,379
Why not?
188
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:40,683
You're the guest of honor. We gotta
make a big hit. Let's go in the back way.
189
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,719
No, no, no. There
is no back way.
190
00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:44,954
There is no back way.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
191
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,624
Let's go through the basement,
get in the heating ducts, crawl up,
192
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:50,493
at the right time, pop
through a vent, "Hi. I'm Jill."
193
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:51,928
What?!
194
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,896
Trust me. I have a TV show.
195
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,432
In front of an
audience, it'll be huge!
196
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,868
Tim, quit kidding. I wanna
show Jill the surprise we got her.
197
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,303
No, you don't. What surprise?
198
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,472
The committee did something
special, but we can't take all the credit.
199
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,474
Remember, Tim
picked out the picture.
200
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:09,712
Oh, honey. You gave me
a surprise. That's so nice.
201
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:13,315
Gosh, darn it. Why don't we
all see the surprise together?
202
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,384
(gasps)
203
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:18,755
You blew up my
driver's license picture?!
204
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:21,012
That's the surprise.
205
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:25,216
I gotta go fix my face.
206
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,942
Well, honey...
207
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:43,168
all in all, it was a pretty
good evening, wasn't it?
208
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,250
It was a great speech.
209
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:50,753
Ah, that roast beef
was good, wasn't it?
210
00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:54,290
Who would've thought of serving
potatoes with the roast beef?
211
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,625
What was that sauce they
had, special sauce they had...?
212
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,183
Gravy. Gravy.
213
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,999
But it was beef gravy, it
was spiced, it was so...
214
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,467
Shut up, Tim. Oh.
215
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:10,173
How could you blow up my driver's
license picture? How could you do that?
216
00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:12,809
Well, it was better-looking
than your passport photo.
217
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,311
Were there only
two choices here?
218
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,147
Tim, there's tons of
pictures of me in this house.
219
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,849
I didn't have time.
220
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,383
Why not?
221
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,652
'Cause Marie sprang this
on me at the last minute.
222
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:24,854
The last minute?
223
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,856
The very last minute.
224
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,425
If she'd given me some time, I'd
have picked out a perfect picture.
225
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,995
Oh. So you're just saying
this was all Marie's fault.
226
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:34,997
I wouldn't want to
point the finger at her.
227
00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:36,999
In fact, I wouldn't
even mention it to her.
228
00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:39,068
Who are you calling? The time.
229
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,738
Oh, I got the time. It's 9:35.
230
00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:43,639
Hello, Marie? Oh, boy.
231
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:46,965
How much time did you
give Tim to get that picture?
232
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,952
Three weeks. Yeah,
yeah. Thanks, Marie. Bye.
233
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:58,621
Hey, how's Marie?
234
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:02,191
Three weeks. You
said the last minute.
235
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,655
Who are you gonna believe?
236
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:09,565
My... my guess would be Marie.
237
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:13,602
Thank you for ruining one of the
most important nights of my life.
238
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,604
It didn't ruin it. You
raised all the money.
239
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,640
People loved your
speech. Oh, come on.
240
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:20,676
There is a bright spot. Everybody
was laughin' so hard at the picture,
241
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:24,260
they didn't see that
skaggy dress you have on.
242
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,049
(door slams)
243
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,908
Hey, why don't I just
sleep on the couch?
244
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:33,722
We're back!
245
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:36,614
Hey, Dad, I beat Al.
I got a hole in one.
246
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,762
Yes, he got a hole in one!
247
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,864
Do we have to keep
hearing about it?
248
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:44,889
Brad got a hole in one.
Yippee, yippee, yippee.
249
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:49,005
Sounds like you
ruffled a few feathers.
250
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:51,908
When he plays miniature
golf, he's like a different person.
251
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:54,076
That could be a good thing.
252
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,279
Dad, he's psycho golfer.
253
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:59,015
I happen to take
the game seriously.
254
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,716
Al, it's just miniature golf.
255
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:04,053
Dad, he brought his own clubs.
256
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,889
Even a 7-iron.
257
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:08,724
He made a little girl cry.
258
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:11,628
Well, she walked right in
front of the clown's mouth!
259
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:17,322
Well, something had to be said.
260
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,137
The manager kicked us out.
261
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:25,507
Al is now banned for life
from the Putt Putt Panorama.
262
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,743
Well, big deal!
263
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:33,149
As soon as that manager graduates
from high school, I'll be back.
264
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,884
While you're waitin', Al,
265
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:37,686
why don't you look into
Miniature Golfers Anonymous?
266
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:41,846
Oh, boy. That is a terrib...
ly nice picture of you.
267
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:44,894
Thanks a lot, Al.
268
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:47,529
(boys) Hi, Mom. Whoa!
269
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:52,101
Mom, is that you? That's the
worst picture I've ever seen.
270
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:56,272
Yeah. You look like
the Nuttiest Raccoon.
271
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,807
Your father picked it out.
272
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,209
Way to go, Dad.
273
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,846
Wouldn't wanna be
in your shoes, bud.
274
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:07,238
Go to bed! Brush your teeth!
275
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,989
I'm... I'm real sorry
about this picture, Jill.
276
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:17,159
Look, I'm not just
upset about the picture.
277
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:20,796
I'm upset because of the fact
that you never even realized
278
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:23,832
how important this
whole night was to me.
279
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,167
I know now.
280
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,403
You should've known before.
281
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,339
I've been talking about the
library fund-raiser for months,
282
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,574
and every time I do,
your eyes just glaze over,
283
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:35,244
and you go, "Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh."
284
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,280
Uh-huh.
285
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:38,347
Right.
286
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:41,717
Honey, that's how I concentrate.
287
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:46,222
So, you're saying that you heard everything
I said about the library fund-raiser?
288
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,624
Yeah. It's right up here. Yeah?
289
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:52,561
Well... what are we
raising money for?
290
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,130
The library.
291
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:57,666
What part of the library?
292
00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:01,237
The part of the library that
needs money raised for it.
293
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,839
You see? It's useless.
294
00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:05,815
I guess it's too much
to expect you to put
295
00:16:05,839 --> 00:16:07,910
yourself aside and
think of me for a change.
296
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:10,012
Wait a minute. You
don't always listen
297
00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:12,048
when I'm telling you stuff
that's important to me.
298
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:14,250
Tim, when you talk, I listen.
299
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,484
Really? Yeah!
300
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,774
Uh-huh.
301
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,092
What kind of carburetors
are on the hot rod?
302
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:25,116
Holley double
pumpers. Holley... What?
303
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:29,898
Holley double pumpers.
304
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,900
I've told you about the engine.
305
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,970
What kind of engine do I
have in the hot rod? Huh?
306
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:37,306
350 small block, bored
30 over with a 400 crank.
307
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,975
Tires?
308
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,509
185/60 R-14s.
309
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:43,145
Aha!
310
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:46,382
They're 195s!
311
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:48,672
And you say you listen to me.
312
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:55,279
Is it written on here somewhere?
313
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,165
Hi-ho, neighbor.
314
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,368
Hidey-ho, Wilson.
315
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:08,604
Jill! What a pleasant surprise.
316
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:09,638
You're out late.
317
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:12,708
Mm-hmm. Just doing
a little stargazing.
318
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:15,311
You know, they say if you
had a strong enough telescope,
319
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,779
you could look back in
time to very early man
320
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:19,948
before his brain
was fully developed.
321
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:23,908
Come over to our house. You can
see the same thing without a telescope.
322
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,656
Trouble in the Taylor galaxy?
323
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,858
Yeah. It's the Big Dip.
324
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,793
Tim?
325
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:35,097
I just don't think he's
ever gonna change.
326
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:38,800
When I first met him, I thought he
had such great potential for sensitivity.
327
00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:42,704
But here it is 15 years later,
and he's still stuck at "potential."
328
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:46,208
Well, Jill, I can
understand your frustration.
329
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,943
You know, it's been said
330
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,712
that men marry women
hoping they won't change.
331
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,948
Women marry men
hoping they will.
332
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:56,218
Are you saying there's no
hope? No, not necessarily.
333
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,487
In the time I've known Tim,
334
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,523
I've seen him progress
and evolve significantly.
335
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:03,825
We're talking about Tim
"The Tool Man" Taylor?
336
00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:06,395
Yes, indeed. As a matter of
fact, when he first moved in,
337
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,964
I had to remind him
when your birthday was.
338
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:10,988
Now I just have to
remind him to get a gift.
339
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,337
Well, I guess that's
some improvement.
340
00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:17,773
His table manners are better.
341
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:20,364
It's been a while since I've
seen him shoot peas out his nose.
342
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,380
Well, there you go.
343
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:29,085
It's just... he's
evolving so slowly.
344
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:33,055
Well, Jill, I'm reminded of
an old Chinese proverb -
345
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:35,124
Be not afraid of growing slowly.
346
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:39,328
Be afraid only
of standing still.
347
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:42,931
I'm sure that Tim will eventually
become the man you want him to be.
348
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:46,635
Yeah, but with my
luck, he'll be 101,
349
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:50,861
and he'll listen to everything I
say, but he won't know who I am.
350
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,712
Today on Tool Time, the
name of the game is frames.
351
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:59,337
You can frame a house.
352
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,540
You can frame your lenses.
353
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:06,377
You can frame... a co-worker.
354
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:15,431
Tim, we're supposed to be
talking about picture frames.
355
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:18,900
A good frame can accentuate
the beauty of any subject.
356
00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:21,091
Of course, there's
exceptions to every rule.
357
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:29,745
We'll be cutting our wood at a
45-degree angle with our miter box.
358
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,881
While Al's busy
working, I'd like to veer
359
00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:34,250
off the subject for
a little bit, if I could.
360
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:37,253
I don't think men know just
how selfish we can be sometimes.
361
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,255
It might come to a shock
to the audience here,
362
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:41,524
but the old "Tool Man" can
be a little insensitive at times.
363
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,481
I know I'm taken aback.
364
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,329
(mouths)
365
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,832
How often do we
put ourselves aside
366
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:55,125
and think about the women
in our lives we cherish?
367
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:06,114
I know all the wives out there
know I'm kidding around...
368
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:08,984
I know there's some point
to this, but I'm not seeing it.
369
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,620
I was thinking
about what you said,
370
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,811
so I got you something special.
371
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,259
(gasps)
372
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:20,462
Tim, I don't
believe you did this.
373
00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:23,365
I just wanted everyone
to see you like I see you.
374
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,434
Honey, that's really sweet.
375
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:27,469
Not only did I get the
right picture this time,
376
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:29,871
I went and had
everybody re-sign it.
377
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,815
Even that plastic surgeon who wrote,
"I hope you have a good personality"?
378
00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:37,646
You should've seen his face
379
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,249
when I walked in during
liposuction to get the signature.
380
00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:42,685
Oh... Tim.
381
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:45,588
This is so great
that you did this.
382
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:49,057
But, um... you
know, I just gotta say,
383
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:52,928
it's really big. So what
are we gonna do with it?
384
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:56,632
I'll buy you a big
wallet. (laughs)
385
00:20:56,656 --> 00:21:00,802
In the meantime, tonight I'm
gonna cook you a fabulous dinner.
386
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:03,606
Steak, mashed potatoes and peas.
387
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:06,074
That is so sweet.
388
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,778
I'm gonna use those little peas I
can shoot halfway across the room.
389
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,818
Two players, one shot apiece.
390
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:21,022
The 13-year-old versus
Al "I Got a Slice" Borland.
391
00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:23,091
Dad, this is so stupid.
392
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,261
Afraid, huh?
393
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:27,396
He's afraid of you?
I don't think so, Al.
394
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:30,432
Good! You got the
whole thing put together...
395
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:34,136
Tim, I thought we
threw that away.
396
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,305
I'm recycling.
397
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:40,008
Could we have some quiet
here? I'm trying to line up my shot.
398
00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:42,978
Boy, take a pill, will you?
399
00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:46,047
It's not your shot, anyway.
Brad the champion goes first.
400
00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:49,307
Champion, champion,
champion. Just go.
401
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:53,944
Loosen up your
swing. Concentrate.
402
00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:03,721
(cheering)
403
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:11,607
Can I... Can I go now?
404
00:22:11,631 --> 00:22:13,464
The game is not over.
405
00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:19,114
Pressure's on, Al.
406
00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:23,374
Next up, Al "The Double
Bogeyman" Borland.
407
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:29,792
Al's always had trouble
on these greens here.
408
00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:32,015
Doesn't like the
concession... area.
409
00:22:51,404 --> 00:22:52,948
And you can use
this with more...
410
00:22:52,972 --> 00:22:55,212
(garbles words) (Tim laughs)
411
00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:57,619
Aah!
412
00:22:57,643 --> 00:23:01,022
(stage manager) Again. 4, 3...
413
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:04,693
And you can use this with
more than just footballs.
414
00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:06,094
(woman giggles)
415
00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:08,085
What's... What is...? (giggling)
416
00:23:11,156 --> 00:23:14,069
What's the line? (laughter)
417
00:23:14,093 --> 00:23:16,638
And this works with more than just
footballs. Work with more than just...
418
00:23:16,662 --> 00:23:18,774
This works with more
than just footballs.
419
00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:21,309
You can also duplicate
any of your favorite colors.
420
00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:23,467
That's right. (laughter)
420
00:23:24,305 --> 00:24:24,925
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