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Today on Tool Time,
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00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:05,282
we're gonna talk about
a real American hero -
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the supersize sausage...
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(groans) submarine,
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00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,222
also known as
the SS Cholesterol.
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I thought we were talking
about squeaky floors.
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We are, we are.
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00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,261
And the obvious
connection would be?
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00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:19,762
Stick with me.
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00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,764
Let's say your wife has you
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00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:24,434
on one of those low-cal
mulch and grass diets,
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00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:26,769
but you got one
of these bad boys
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hidden out in that camp
cooler in the garage.
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So you wait till she drifts off to
sleep, snoring like a band saw.
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You creep out to
the garage to get it,
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00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,848
but as soon as your feet
hit the floor, what happens?
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(wood creaks)
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She wakes up.
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"Hey, leave that submarine
sandwich alone, you big tub of lard!
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"Get back into bed!
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You're gonna be eating nothing
but fiber for three months!"
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And you doubted the connection.
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I'm hating myself now.
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The point is, today, how do you
get rid of that tattletale squeak?
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00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,549
First you have to determine if you
have a squeak... (metal squeaks)
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00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,850
a creak... (wood creaks)
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or a groan... (Tim
moans with pleasure)
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because each one of those
will require a different repair.
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Right, Al.
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Larry, you wanna
bring the camera in here.
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Normally, a squeak is caused by
wood rubbing against a loose nail.
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Now, if you have your
squeak between the joists,
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00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:38,275
what you wanna
do is add a bridge.
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Right.
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00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:45,082
Now... older homes, like
older people, tend to groan.
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That's because there's
a sag and weakening
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between the beam and the joist.
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"Oh, my aching beam.
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I got such a pain in the
joist, you shouldn't know!"
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00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,927
Our older viewers
will wanna write Tim
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at "Tool Time,
P.O. Box 32733..."
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Now, if you have a creak -
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00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:10,039
which happens when two
boards rub against each other -
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we have an old
carpenter's remedy.
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Take an old squeezable ketchup
bottle, fill it with talcum powder.
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You wanna direct the
talc between the boards,
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give it a good healthy squeeze.
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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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You know, I don't think
many people know,
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but on weekends Al
does mime at the mall.
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Look at these apples, Al.
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What do you think? Should
we put the kids in the middle?
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(♪ "Mary Had a Little
Lamb," out of tune)
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Sorry, Dad. Ah, it's just
a toe. You're doing great.
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00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:25,842
No, I'm not. I think I should
just quit. I'm no good at this.
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00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:28,467
I'm no good at a lot of
things. Doesn't stop me.
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00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,437
I don't wanna hear anything
more about you quitting.
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00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:37,019
Good news - I think
he's gonna quit.
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00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:40,022
He can't quit. He's only
been doing it three weeks.
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00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:42,525
Besides, I really think
he's getting better.
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00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:45,962
Better? He sounds
like Al's mom at a luau.
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00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,398
(imitates woman singing badly)
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00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:51,067
Tim, he begged us for
those saxophone lessons.
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00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,902
I'm trying to teach - Excuse me.
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00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:55,772
I'm trying to teach him to stick
with something, follow it through.
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You don't want him
to be a quitter, do you?
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Quitting would be a bad thing.
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(Brad plays flat note)
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00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:06,316
But being a quitter's parents
- we could live with that.
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00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,151
It's always bad
in the beginning.
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00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:10,487
You think Mozart's parents
enjoyed listening to him practice?
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00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:13,790
Great example. They
named their kid Wolfman.
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Wolfgang.
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00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:19,228
So, a group of wolves.
What's the difference?
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I really stink at this. No, you
don't. You just got started.
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It'll take you a
couple of months
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00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,605
to figure out whether
you stink or not.
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00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,640
Whoa. You're all wet.
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00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,609
Good work, Sherlock.
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00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,911
What happened?
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00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:38,981
Paul and Vinnie McGurn stuck
me upside down in a snowbank.
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I hate those guys.
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I thought we told you to
stay away from the McGurns.
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They're big, ugly and stupid.
That's a lethal combination.
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I had no choice.
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Vinnie challenged
me to a sled race.
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00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,495
So you beat the guy and he
dumped you in a snowbank?
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That's typical of those guys.
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00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:58,368
No, they beat me, and this was
part of their victory celebration.
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I hate those guys.
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I swear, this time I'm
gonna get 'em back.
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I hate those guys!
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We know, Brad.
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00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:09,779
I'm just gonna walk up to
Vinnie and start swinging.
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00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:13,049
No, Randy, don't be stupid.
Don't try to fight Vinnie.
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00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,084
For once, Brad's
right. Listen to him.
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00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,153
Get someone else
to beat up Vinnie.
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There's this one boy in
my class, his name's Troy.
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For a quarter, he'll
punch himself in the face.
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(laughs)
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00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:29,065
I've always told you guys,
fists don't accomplish anything.
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You can get Vinnie McGurn
back at his own game.
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00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,136
What are you talking about?
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Challenge him to another race.
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Dad, there's no way
I can beat Vinnie.
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He has that new sled - the
bullet-nosed downhill racer.
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But you got The Tool Man.
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I think we can turn this old
jalopy into a speed demon.
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It's light, it's got
a classic design.
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Maybe put a spoiler on
the front of that for airflow.
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I'll take the burrs off these
runners, sand this thing down,
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bevel the edge,
put a shine on there.
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This'll be smoother than
butter on a baby's butt.
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Arr-arr-arr-arr-arr.
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I hate those guys.
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Let it go, will
ya? Just let it go.
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Mark, go get your shoes on.
I'm taking you for a haircut.
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Mom, I don't need a haircut.
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Oh, please. I could turn you upside
down and mop the floor with you.
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Besides, the barber is right
next to Brad's saxophone teacher.
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I can get you a trim while
he's having his lesson.
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You just wanna get
out of hearing Brad play.
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I never said that, and if it
gets around, I never said that.
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Brad, where's your saxophone?
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00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,532
You have a lesson in 20 minutes.
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Mom, why do I have to keep
taking these stupid lessons?
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Brad, sit down.
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Is this gonna be
another one of those
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"When I was a
little girl" stories?
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No. Will you just listen?
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When I was a little
person about your age...
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00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,053
I had to take flute
lessons for five years,
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and it wasn't always fun,
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00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:02,325
but I was really
glad that I stuck to it.
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00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:05,595
Why? It's not like you
ever play the flute now.
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00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,730
Well, that's true,
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00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:09,732
but I take great joy
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in knowing that I
could if I wanted to.
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00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,804
Besides, if you
get really good at it,
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00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:18,274
we could have
mother/son jam sessions.
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00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,465
There's a dream come true.
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(Mark) Mom, can't find my shoes!
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00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:29,352
I swear, if his head
wasn't attached, he'd...
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Oh, no. I'm channeling
my mother again.
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I'm coming!
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(groans)
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00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:43,232
Hey, Randy, did you
test out the sled? Yeah.
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00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,234
Was Dad's spoiler cool?
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00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:49,661
Yeah. I was going so fast, I
think I missed my next birthday.
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Dang, that's fast.
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00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,379
Ahh. What happened
to your wrist?
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When I hit Dead Man's Curve,
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my sled went one way
and my wrist went another -
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right into a tree.
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Ahh. Well, is the sled OK?
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Yes. Thanks for caring.
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00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,194
Ahh.
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00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,462
Here comes Mom.
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00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:15,331
Don't tell her about my wrist.
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She'll overreact.
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OK, come on,
Brad. Randy, hi. Hi.
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Listen, your dad's just pulling up
now. We'll be back before dinner.
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Hi. Bye!
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00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:28,266
Boy, we lead fast-paced lives.
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00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:32,715
Hey, Randy. Hey, Dad.
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00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,250
What's the matter?
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00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,753
I had a little
run-in with a tree.
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00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:39,455
Who started it?
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00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:42,391
The tree. Hey.
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00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,361
Did your mom see this? No.
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Ahh.
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00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,165
Can you bend it? Sort of.
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00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,868
All right, can you do this?
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00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,992
Yeah. Can you do this?
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00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:01,911
All right, smart guy, sit up
there, let me take a look at it.
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00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,346
Careful, careful.
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00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:05,982
Ooh.
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00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,751
Ow! Ooh. That hurts, huh?
179
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:12,889
No, I just have a condition that
makes me say "ow" every ten minutes.
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00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:15,892
I'm gonna run you down to the
emergency room get an x-ray for you,
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00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,426
write a note to Mom.
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00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,762
Dad, I don't need to go
to the emergency room.
183
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,787
(laughs) That's
what I usually tell Al.
184
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:28,071
Well, how does he get you to go?
185
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:31,162
I don't know. I'm usually
passed out by then.
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00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:36,378
(Tim) Don't worry. They'll
take real good care of you here.
187
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:39,048
Is this the emergency room
you come to all the time?
188
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:41,050
I don't come here all the time.
189
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:42,551
Hey, Tool Man. Hey, buddy.
190
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,520
Hi, Mr. Taylor. Hey, Tim.
191
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:47,657
Hey, Buzz. How are those
little girls...? Good. Real good.
192
00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,225
Hey, Laurie.
193
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:52,261
You're better known
here than you are at Sears.
194
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:55,765
Mr. Taylor. And you walked
in under your own power.
195
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,634
Always a good sign.
196
00:10:57,658 --> 00:11:01,259
Well, actually... You
know, I keep your file handy.
197
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:06,075
Actually... That's all you?
198
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,077
That's just this year.
199
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:10,680
It's not me today, Marge.
It's my little son Randy.
200
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:14,183
Well, how cute -
like father, like son.
201
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,952
What's doing, Randy?
202
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,955
He went off of his
sled and hit his wrist.
203
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:21,658
We'll take care of
that. You know the drill.
204
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:23,660
OK. Come on over
here and sit down.
205
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:26,162
(woman over PA) Dr. Smith,
report to the emergency room.
206
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,664
Dr. Smith, emergency room.
207
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,498
You doing all right? Yeah.
208
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,601
OK, let's fill this out quick.
209
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,471
Birthday is the 18th. 8th.
210
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,140
Eighth.
211
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:40,176
97 pounds on you. No, 80.
212
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,712
80. All right.
213
00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,803
Big brown eyes.
214
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,718
Big blue eyes.
215
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:49,819
OK.
216
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,976
Here you go, Tim.
217
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:57,860
Coffee just the way you
like it - cream and five sugars.
218
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,829
Thank you, Buzz.
219
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:03,199
Couple more sugars, they
gonna be calling you Buzz.
220
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,433
All right.
221
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,102
What's gonna happen now?
222
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,171
They're gonna run
you back to X-ray,
223
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:10,139
take a photograph of your wrist.
224
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:13,142
What if it's broken? Don't
worry about it. They're great here.
225
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:16,145
They'll set it in a cast, and you'll
be good as new in two months.
226
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:19,982
Two months? It
goes just like that.
227
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:23,686
I remember when I broke my
arm. I was younger than you.
228
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,722
Well, how'd you break it?
229
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,024
Well, the first time...
230
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:31,761
I was six or so, in the garage
looking at my little red wagon.
231
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,096
Arr-arr-arr-arr.
232
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,631
"That thing needs more
power." Arr-arr-arr-arr.
233
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:36,866
(chuckles)
234
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,035
I'm not sure Mom's
gonna be too happy
235
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:41,204
when she finds out
we souped up the sled.
236
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:43,305
Don't worry about it.
Do we have to tell her?
237
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:45,374
Yes, yes. You can't
lie to your mom.
238
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:49,134
I get two lies a year, and
I'm not wasting one on you.
239
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,883
Mr. Taylor, this way to x-ray.
240
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:55,840
Look who I'm telling!
241
00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:00,156
You know, Marge,
it's kind of gratifying
242
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:03,726
to be here in the hospital
and not be a patient.
243
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:04,727
See ya, Tool Man.
244
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:06,284
Hey, buddy.
245
00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:12,534
Well, maybe you can have
that feeling another day.
246
00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:14,536
Medic! It's all right.
247
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,520
It's all right. Medic!
248
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,509
Whew. I'm home.
249
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,544
What happened at the
hospital? How's Randy's arm?
250
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:24,546
It's fine. Doctor
says it's sprained.
251
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:26,548
He'll be up and
at 'em, two days.
252
00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:28,584
Oh, thank goodness. Where is he?
253
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:31,087
He's over at Jeremy's,
showing him my x-ray.
254
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,555
Your x-ray? I banged
my head down there.
255
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:36,019
Took an x-ray. Showed nothing.
256
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,296
Big surprise.
257
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,298
(mocking) "Big
surprise." Mm-hmm.
258
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,133
What are we eating? Pizza.
259
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,135
Will you set the table? Uh-huh.
260
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,805
So what happened to Randy?
The sled got away from him?
261
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,807
You know how they
are with those sleds.
262
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,809
It gets all icy, wind
catches the spoiler...
263
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,211
(whistles) Wait a minute.
264
00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:58,580
Since when do
sleds have spoilers?
265
00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:01,650
It's not uncommon.
266
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:05,054
I don't believe you. You
powered up the sled?
267
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,056
I tweaked it a little bit.
268
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,126
It's not like I put a
motor on it. Although...
269
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,393
Tim...
270
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,830
I just did it because
the McGurns' father
271
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:16,265
bought them this
downhill bullet-nosed racer.
272
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:20,069
So what? So... Randy
challenged 'em to a race.
273
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,071
That was a stupid thing to do.
274
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:25,607
Not quite as stupid as what he
originally planned. Which was?
275
00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:28,610
He was gonna hire some
kid that hits himself in the face
276
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,612
to fight Vinnie McGurn with him.
277
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:31,636
Troy?
278
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,953
I suggested a more
sensible alternative.
279
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:38,354
Oh, a sensible one,
280
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,923
like sending our son barreling
down a hill on a death machine
281
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:42,591
to win some stupid race?
282
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,560
You are so wrong.
283
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:48,564
This is a practice run.
The race isn't till Saturday.
284
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,632
No, it's not.
285
00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:53,535
Yes, it is. He was
challenged by Vinnie.
286
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,604
You said that Randy
challenged Vinnie.
287
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,806
Yeah, well, then Vinnie
challenged him back.
288
00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:59,308
You just don't understand
289
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,310
the intricacies
of the male mind.
290
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,479
Explain it to me.
I've got a minute.
291
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:06,082
OK. Guy A challenges guy B.
292
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:08,284
If guy B accepts the challenge,
293
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:11,020
guy A is automatically
challenged by guy B
294
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:14,444
not to back down from the
challenge that A gave to guy B.
295
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:20,129
OK, let me explain to you
how a woman's mind works.
296
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:23,487
Guy A and guy B are both
idiots, and Randy is not racing.
297
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,735
Come on.
298
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,372
Sugarplum. Honeybuns.
299
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,607
There's nothing
wrong with two kids
300
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:34,210
having a nice race
down Dead Man's Curve.
301
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,912
Down what?
302
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:38,536
Fred Man's Curve.
303
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:51,961
It's gonna take your mom
about two minutes to find that.
304
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:55,031
Now, if you bury it, you
might have a shot at it.
305
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,533
Dad, I'm no good at
playing the saxophone.
306
00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:01,003
You were great this morning
playing "Baa Baa Black Sheep."
307
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:03,339
Dad, that was "Mary
Had A Little Lamb."
308
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,341
Well, lamb, sheep
- it's all about wool.
309
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,176
Just try a little
harder, will ya?
310
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,845
(cat meowing)
311
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,847
Wilson, what are
you doing up there?
312
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:14,850
Well, Tim, I am trying to
get Mrs. Foley's cat Fluffy
313
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:18,287
out of that tree. Mm-mm-mm-mm.
314
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:21,757
(sighs) So how was
your day? Little frustrating.
315
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:24,827
I'm trying to explain to Jill the
meaning of the word "challenge."
316
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,762
I would think, living with you,
317
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,764
that she'd be an expert on that.
318
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:31,500
(mock laugh) No, I mean when
one man challenges another man.
319
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:34,170
She doesn't realize you
can't back down from that.
320
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:37,406
Aha. So Al is being
obstreperous at work again?
321
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:40,376
No, he took some
penicillin and cleared that up.
322
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,378
You know Vinnie
McGurn next door?
323
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:45,914
Yes indeed. He's the reason
that Fluffy's up in the tree.
324
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:47,816
Well, he and Randy
got themselves
325
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,818
into this sled race
challenge... Uh-huh.
326
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,054
And Jill doesn't
want him to do it.
327
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:54,056
She's afraid he
might hurt himself.
328
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,793
Well, Tim, Jill's reaction
is quite... quite natural.
329
00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:00,829
It's common for the female of
the species to protect her young.
330
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,831
Well, I'm trying to
protect my young
331
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,334
from the Vinnie McGurns
of the world. Aha-ha.
332
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,336
So you are encouraging Randy
333
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,538
to act like the saiga antelope.
334
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,474
Yeah. Yeah, exac... What?
335
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:14,543
The saiga antelope. They
roam the Russian plains.
336
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:17,246
Any invader who
challenges the male's domain
337
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,248
is met with a fight.
338
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:20,816
Arr. Russia.
339
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:24,120
♪ Where the deer
and the antelope play
340
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,489
Unfortunately, the
males of the species
341
00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:29,958
are so obsessed with running
back and forth and butting heads
342
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,994
that they barely ever eat,
343
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:34,997
so that when wintertime
comes they have no body fat.
344
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,533
They starve to death.
345
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:43,872
♪ And the sky is not
cloudy all day-ay, yah ♪
346
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,642
See, Tim, you can't
allow a challenge
347
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:49,600
to make you lose sight
of what is really important.
348
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,922
Hi. How's your hand? Fine, Mom.
349
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,690
What are you doing?
350
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,625
Working on my sled.
351
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,627
I wanna talk to you about that.
352
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,796
I don't think you should
do this race on Saturday.
353
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,498
Mom, I have to.
354
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,734
My wrist is gonna be fine.
Even the doctor said so.
355
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:16,738
I just think the combination of
that hill, that sled and your father
356
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,740
is too dangerous.
357
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,609
But Mom, I'm fixing my sled,
358
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:23,345
and Dad's gonna show
me what I did wrong.
359
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:26,014
I don't see why you have
to race Vinnie McGurn at all.
360
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:29,051
Because if I don't, he's gonna
think I'm afraid of him, and I'm not.
361
00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:31,720
You should be afraid
of him. He's a scary guy.
362
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,422
Ha. No kidding.
363
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,257
At the father/son picnic,
364
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:38,483
he's the only kid that
was mistaken for his father.
365
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,930
Now, you see, that's funny.
366
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,066
Humor has always
been your best weapon.
367
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:47,492
But Vinnie's too stupid
to understand my jokes.
368
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,841
In your life, you're gonna run up
against a million Vinnie McGurns.
369
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:55,844
Are you planning on racing
all of them? I don't know.
370
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:58,581
All I know is that I
have to race this one.
371
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:00,416
I have to fight back.
372
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,919
But it's not a fair fight. I'm
never gonna have a fair fight.
373
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,988
I'm the shortest kid
in my class! Honey...
374
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:08,991
And don't tell me my height
doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
375
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:10,993
It's what's inside that counts.
376
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:13,684
Don't sell yourself
short. Sorry.
377
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:18,033
Look, in case you
haven't noticed,
378
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:21,036
even my little brother
is the same size as me.
379
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,105
Randy...
380
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:25,307
everybody grows
at their own rate.
381
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,476
Mark just had a growth spurt.
382
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,811
I mean, you could
have one at any time.
383
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,403
Yeah, but probably not
by this weekend, huh?
384
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,040
No, probably not.
385
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:41,290
I'm gonna say something to you
386
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:44,293
that I thought that I would
never say to any of my kids.
387
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:45,816
What?
388
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:49,465
Kick some butt.
389
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:50,921
All right!
390
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,708
♪ Home, home on the... ♪
391
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,310
Hey, Tim?
392
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:04,180
Jill, we gotta talk. Yeah.
393
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:07,149
Um... Randy's situation
394
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:10,686
is a lot like the
psychic antelope
395
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,255
that pig out all summer long
396
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:17,359
and finally act like
buttheads to the Russians.
397
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:20,829
I was with you right up
to, "Jill, we have to talk."
398
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,953
What I'm saying...
399
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,726
What?
400
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,579
I don't think Randy has to
prove anything to Vinnie McGurn.
401
00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:39,582
I don't think there's any reason
for him to race the kid over this.
402
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:43,652
Oh, I think he does have
to race him. (quizzical grunt)
403
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:46,689
Unfortunately, Randy feels that he
has to prove something to himself,
404
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:49,024
and we have to let him do this.
405
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:51,026
Now, I was wondering...
406
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:54,029
is there some way that you
can make the spoiler bigger
407
00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:56,932
and bevel the edges more?
408
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:59,835
Are y... are you my wife? Yeah.
409
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,705
I read somewhere that if you heat
the runners up, it makes it go faster.
410
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:05,207
Is that true?
That's illegal, Jill.
411
00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:07,843
What is this, the Olympics?
412
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:11,813
Have you ever noticed
that we agree on everything
413
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:15,083
but never at the same time?
414
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:18,454
Well, I have to admit that
this time you were right.
415
00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:21,423
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
416
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,748
(sighs)
417
00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:28,230
(chuckles)
418
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:31,722
If I'm right, you would be...
419
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:36,093
Starts with "W."
420
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:41,076
Your wonderful wise wife.
421
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:42,678
No, no, no, no, no. No, no.
422
00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:46,582
Ah. If someone isn't
right... Mm-hmm.
423
00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:50,952
They're generally
referred to as "wr..."
424
00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,954
Really open-minded
and big enough
425
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:54,990
to listen to other
people's opinions.
426
00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:56,358
OK. No.
427
00:21:56,382 --> 00:21:58,860
I'm looking for something
that rhymes with "song."
428
00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:00,496
(laughs)
429
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,063
Right!
430
00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:03,654
So long.
431
00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:10,539
That was cool how you
beat Vinnie in that race.
432
00:22:10,563 --> 00:22:13,609
Yeah, did you see the way I
took that curve? It was perfect.
433
00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:16,645
And I told you to race
him. Yeah, right, Mom.
434
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:19,548
Here you go.
(western playing on TV)
435
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:22,217
Hey, did you see how
mad Vinnie's father got
436
00:22:22,241 --> 00:22:25,020
when Dad was doing
that victory dance?
437
00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:28,056
I can't believe he
challenged him to the race.
438
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,426
I can't believe your father
accepted the challenge.
439
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,583
Oh, it's just a sprain.
440
00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:38,400
Submarine sandwich,
441
00:22:38,424 --> 00:22:40,602
also known as
the SS Cholesterol.
442
00:22:40,626 --> 00:22:42,170
(imitates klaxon)
443
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,105
Dive! Dive! Dive!
444
00:22:44,129 --> 00:22:46,397
(whistles)
445
00:22:48,901 --> 00:22:50,813
(mutters)
446
00:22:50,837 --> 00:22:54,605
Any invader who tries to challenge
the male's domain is met with a fight.
447
00:22:57,543 --> 00:22:59,521
Can't remember that
song all of a sudden.
448
00:22:59,545 --> 00:23:02,123
It's... Lucille.
449
00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:04,860
I can't believe he
challenged Dad to the race.
450
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,862
I can't believe your father
accepted the challenge.
451
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:08,886
Oh, it's just a sprain.
452
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:14,410
I'll get that guy in a
rematch, I'll tell you that.
453
00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:24,568
All right, once more.
One more time.
453
00:23:25,305 --> 00:24:25,798
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