1
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:04,614
It's also about
male improvement.
2
00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:06,616
So, continuing our
male improvement series,
3
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,286
Al and I are gonna talk
about men and their shoes.
4
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:13,256
That's right. We'll be delving
into shoe repair and shoe shining.
5
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:15,680
Not to mention shoe trees.
6
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:19,596
And shoehorns.
7
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:22,888
(♪ horn)
8
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:26,636
Anyway, here's a pair
of wing tips over here
9
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,638
that have certainly
seen better days.
10
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:31,174
Now, when you have
a shoe this damaged,
11
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:34,211
you wanna take it down to the
original leather using rubbing alcohol.
12
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,713
Then for the rough spots,
use a little leather dye.
13
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,249
Polish her up, you got
a shoe as good as new.
14
00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:42,252
Remember, when you're using
shoe polish, use a little bit of water.
15
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,254
It'll make that shine really
spectacular. That's right.
16
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:47,224
Then you wanna buff
it with a cloth diaper.
17
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,848
Make sure you remove
the baby first, though.
18
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:54,164
This will give your
shoe a sheen for sure.
19
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,954
You don't shay.
20
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,904
All right, now, Tim,
21
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:03,973
what were to happen if we
have a brand-new pair of shoes
22
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:06,543
and the leather is hard
and uncomfortable?
23
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,545
Ooh, that could be a big problem
24
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,850
if you had feet like Al's mom.
25
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,956
Well, for shoes like this,
26
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:24,428
my mother always used
Binford's leather softener.
27
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:28,465
But that turns your
new hard shoes
28
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:31,034
into the old soft shoe. Klaus?
29
00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:35,004
(♪ "The Old Soft Shoe")
30
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,028
(hand smacks)
31
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:40,599
(gong sounds)
32
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:48,285
(boing)
33
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:50,220
(nut cracks)
34
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,989
(whistle slide)
35
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,246
Ah.
36
00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:59,496
Thanks, but enough
of that foolishness.
37
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,499
Let's get on with the next
part of the shoe repair.
38
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,501
Tim, do you call
that a soft shoe?
39
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,503
It was a joke, Al.
Anyway... Klaus?
40
00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:09,872
(♪ piano)
41
00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:12,742
Oh, Don?
42
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,933
(♪ "The Old Soft Shoe")
43
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:22,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
44
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:50,929
What do you think? Should
we put the kids in the middle?
45
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:55,812
All right, Randy, I'm
ready to teach you
46
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,847
the most important
skill in hockey.
47
00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:01,284
Fighting. No, goaltending.
48
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,286
Are you sure this is gonna help?
49
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:05,589
Positive. It can't hurt.
50
00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,757
Last week you gave up 14 goals.
51
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:08,891
15.
52
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:12,895
No, 15 is what you
got on your math test.
53
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,897
Give it a rest, guys, OK?
54
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:18,523
Now, this is the Tim Taylor
authorized puck chucker.
55
00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:22,972
Move out of the way,
please. Put your mask down.
56
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:25,408
Remember what I taught you.
57
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:28,600
This thing shoots
at incredible speed.
58
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:36,586
Whoa.
59
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:40,257
That thing is incredible.
60
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:42,392
Good thing he's wearing padding.
61
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,395
(fake laugh) I gotta get
the instruction book out.
62
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,330
Once I get the instructions,
63
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:50,800
we'll see how many pucks this
hockey-puck chucker can chuck.
64
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:54,693
If the puck chucker
could chuck pucks.
65
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,741
Shouldn't your dad be here?
66
00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,409
You know the colonel.
67
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,745
If he says he'll be
here at 1700 hours,
68
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,747
he means 1700 hours sharp.
69
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:06,816
1700 hours. What
time is that again?
70
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:10,887
5:00. I've been trying to teach
you military time for 15 years.
71
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,589
Now, listen to this.
72
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,858
You subtract 12 if it's a
double-digit number greater than 12.
73
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,662
If it's a single-digit
number, it's the actual time.
74
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,364
If it's a double-digit number
that's less than or equal to 12,
75
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,032
that's also the actual time.
76
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:27,103
Have you got that? Yeah.
77
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,405
Hmm.
78
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:31,874
I wish your mom was coming.
At least she speaks civilian.
79
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:34,577
Me too. She said she
needed a break from Dad.
80
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:36,579
She wants to have one week
81
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:40,717
where she doesn't have to get
up before dawn and raise the flag.
82
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:43,953
(doorbell rings) Oh,
he's here, he's here!
83
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:47,156
(doorbell rings) All right!
84
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,558
Hey, Dad. Daddy!
85
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:50,794
Hello, sweetheart!
86
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,162
How's my little girl?
87
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,154
Great. I'm so happy to see you.
88
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,739
Do you still live here?
89
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:05,742
Colonel, good to see you. I
see the Lincoln's running well.
90
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:08,578
Oh, got me up here
all the way from Texas.
91
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:11,080
I tell you, '61 was
a vintage year.
92
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:13,983
You should've bought
one the day they came out.
93
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:17,854
I would've, sir, but I was six.
94
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,289
That's no excuse.
95
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:23,960
Hey, we're getting Tool
Time on the satellite.
96
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,161
That's what Nana told us.
97
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,652
I don't watch it, but we get it.
98
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,501
Just kidding. You
know I love Tool Time.
99
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:34,604
Would you like a drink?
Water, straight from the tap.
100
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,540
None of that
hippy bottled stuff.
101
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:41,478
Say, did you get the tickets
to the guns and knives show?
102
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:42,979
Guns and knives?
103
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:46,383
I thought you wanted
to see Guns 'N Roses.
104
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,418
What?
105
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:51,654
It's a joke. It's a joke.
106
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:55,725
Ah, you're a great kidder. Let
me put you up in Mark's room.
107
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,927
There are the kids.
(Mark) Grandpa!
108
00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:01,019
There's my troops! Attention!
109
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:05,167
At ease.
110
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:09,071
Ah, hair's getting
a little long.
111
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,541
Maybe later we'll
all go for crew cuts.
112
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,865
Yeah, right.
113
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:19,081
What did you say?
Um, nothing, sir.
114
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,349
(laughs)
115
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:22,519
Grandpa, what did you bring us?
116
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,721
Hey, hey, come on, Mark.
Where are your manners?
117
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:26,723
Hey, what's a grandfather for?
118
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:29,626
I got you guys a special treat.
119
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,082
Shrapnel.
120
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:37,366
Cool. Let's go show Jeremy.
121
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,036
Hey, watch it with that stuff.
It's sharp. You bet it's sharp.
122
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:43,795
That shrapnel was removed from
my... Forget where it was removed from.
123
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:49,512
You gave the boys shrapnel?
What did you give me?
124
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:52,348
I gave you my daughter.
125
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:54,584
Yeah, you're right, sir,
126
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,576
but I'm kinda tired of
playing with that gift.
127
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:08,898
You know, Tim, about
you always calling me "sir..."
128
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,600
Yeah?
129
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,769
I like it.
130
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:15,371
No, actually I do have
something for the both of you.
131
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:16,940
His-and-her bazookas.
132
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:18,942
Better.
133
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:22,946
I wrote a book about my
experiences in the military.
134
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:26,115
I got a copy for
each of you. Hefty.
135
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:28,785
Dad, you wrote a
book. This is great.
136
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:32,121
If Schwarzkopf can
do it, any bum can.
137
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:36,125
You know, I thought, you know,
since you work at the magazine,
138
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,795
you could read it
and if you like it,
139
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:42,331
you might pass it along to
some of your friends in publishing.
140
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,368
Oh, Dad, I'm so excited.
I can't wait to read it.
141
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:48,638
And I can't wait to have you
tell me what you thought of it.
142
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,172
Now, what time's dinner?
143
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,597
2300 hours, sir.
144
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,514
That's 11pm.
145
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,370
We eat late.
146
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:17,767
Are you enjoying
it? A lot of facts.
147
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:21,004
Yeah, it's so detailed.
Tremendous detail.
148
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:23,773
And it's not flowery.
Oh, no flowers here.
149
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:27,744
No, just page
after page of detail.
150
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:31,280
Can't go wrong with details.
151
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:34,817
It's boring, isn't it?
152
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,808
It's mind-numbing.
153
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:41,457
I thought this was
gonna be more of a story,
154
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,125
but there's nothing in there
155
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,294
but tactics and
military strategy.
156
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,496
What are we going to tell him?
157
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:51,200
Tell him the truth. Oh,
sure. You know my dad.
158
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:54,203
He hears bad news, he
hits the roof, then he sulks,
159
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,205
then he doesn't wanna
talk about it anymore,
160
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:58,908
and then the whole
thing remains unresolved.
161
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:03,345
He can take it. He's a tough
guy. He gives shrapnel as gifts.
162
00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:06,348
No way. I cannot ever tell him.
163
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:08,985
Why not? When I do
something you don't like,
164
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,542
you don't hold back
on me. (laughing)
165
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:17,660
I've held back lots of
things from you, Tim.
166
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:20,162
Back the truth trolley
up here a little bit.
167
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,565
What kind of things
don't you let me know?
168
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:25,534
Oh, where shall I start?
169
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,770
With one.
170
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:31,140
OK. You know that
green suit you bought?
171
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:35,411
That wasn't green. That
was more of a pistachio.
172
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:38,047
You said it was stunning.
173
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:41,050
What was stunning was that
you could walk into a store
174
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,853
and actually walk
out with that suit.
175
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,855
We got the machine
up and running.
176
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,857
You're gonna operate
it from back here.
177
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,859
Remember what
I told you. All right.
178
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,861
I'll give you the pointers now.
179
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:54,597
The most important thing
about being a goalie...
180
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,833
is that these things hurt!
181
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:59,490
Sorry, Dad.
182
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:05,130
A good goalie is always
prepared, all right?
183
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:12,048
Hey. Hey! Hey!
184
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:16,119
I saw where you're
aiming that thing.
185
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:17,787
All right, stand in.
186
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:20,422
Dad, I can't. We ran out
of pucks. I need to reload.
187
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:22,491
All right, reload.
188
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,762
Dad, when is Grandpa getting up?
189
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:31,768
Uh, let's see. He went
to bed at 2300 hours.
190
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,336
He wanted nine hours of sleep.
191
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,505
That's 3200...
192
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,374
minus 12.
193
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,276
You add that up.
194
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:41,678
Uh...
195
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:43,802
20 o'clock.
196
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:50,887
Remember, when Dad comes
down and asks how we liked the book,
197
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:53,056
we tell him that we loved it.
198
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,392
If you wanna lie to your dad, that's
your business. I don't wanna lie.
199
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:59,350
That's just how we
do things in my family.
200
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:04,000
Would it make you feel
better if I told him the truth?
201
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:06,169
Oh, honey, that is so sweet.
202
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,871
I should be the one
to tell him, though.
203
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,040
Great.
204
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,709
But since I can't...
205
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:13,843
Jill... Well...
206
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,377
Jill, listen to me.
207
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,714
Look, what if I
get the ball rolling
208
00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:20,382
and you just jump in
when you feel comfortable?
209
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,384
That might work. Sure it will.
210
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,688
I'll tell him how I feel about it,
and then you just back me up.
211
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:28,624
But you have to
promise to be tactful.
212
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:32,028
Have I ever been
anything but tactful?
213
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,696
Good morning. (Tim) Morning.
214
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,364
Daddy, how'd you sleep?
215
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:39,135
Oh, great. But I'm starting
to grow out of Mark's bed.
216
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:42,038
Coffee? Oh, I'd love some.
217
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:46,442
So, did you read my
book? I'll get the coffee.
218
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,778
Yes. Yes, we did read the book.
219
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,780
So what did you
think of it, honey?
220
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:53,382
Would you like eggs or waffles?
221
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:55,184
Eggs.
222
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,686
There's a lot of
good stuff in there.
223
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,779
Oh, yeah, a lot.
224
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:05,150
It's a tad bit wordy.
225
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,253
You know, in a good way.
226
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,368
A writer's supposed
to use words.
227
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,270
What do you want - pictures?
228
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,995
Could've helped it a little.
229
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,743
What was so odd
- you have a book,
230
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,912
and there's no people in it.
231
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:26,382
This is a book about policy and
objectives and how to win a war.
232
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:29,140
You don't wanna clutter
that up with a lot of people.
233
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,191
Good point.
234
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,193
Writing a book about war,
235
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,195
you don't wanna
talk about people.
236
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,530
What are you trying
to tell me, Tim -
237
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,200
that you had mixed
feelings about my book?
238
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,524
I wouldn't say that.
239
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:50,673
You wouldn't
know good literature
240
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,897
if it bit you in the butt.
241
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,513
Well, honey, I... I think
I've gotten that ball rolling
242
00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:59,737
about as far as it's gonna go.
243
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,985
Why don't you jump in
244
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,487
and tell your dad what
you thought of the book?
245
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,089
Honey? Jill?
246
00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:09,881
Loved it. It's the
best book I ever read.
247
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,874
So, can I get you
something else?
248
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:27,210
Would you like a
slice of coffeecake?
249
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:30,568
Sure. Just use the knife
you stuck in my back.
250
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,983
Can't believe you sold me out.
251
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,484
Tim, you're overreacting.
252
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:37,987
What I know is
that I tell the truth
253
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,989
and I come out like the bad guy.
254
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:42,646
How can you be so selfish?
255
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,229
What?
256
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:48,764
This whole thing is
between me and my father,
257
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:51,868
and all you care about is
how you come off? What?
258
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:55,637
I think you could be a little more
supportive in a situation like this.
259
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:57,940
Supportive about...
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
260
00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,109
I-I appreciate you defending me,
261
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,544
but he's entitled
to his opinion.
262
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,381
Thank you. Even though
we both know he's wrong.
263
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,717
Let's face it, Tim,
you have no taste.
264
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,819
Tim has wonderful taste.
265
00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:13,722
Oh, yeah? Remember
that green suit he wore
266
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,858
to your sister's wedding?
267
00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:21,130
It wasn't green, it was
avocado, almost melon.
268
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:24,633
So, uh, when are you
going to bring my book
269
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,435
to your publisher?
270
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,104
Well, you know, Dad,
271
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,739
I think that, um, she's
kinda busy right now.
272
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,741
She's out of town, in fact.
273
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:36,412
Well, who's the number two in
command? We'll speak to him instead.
274
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,814
Oh, Dad, he's not
gonna want to talk to me.
275
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,816
He doesn't even
know I work there.
276
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,220
Then this could be your opportunity
to put yourself on the map.
277
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:48,958
Dad, I couldn't... use
you to further my career.
278
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:51,827
Nonsense.
279
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:55,298
Now, we'll go down there
first thing tomorrow morning
280
00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:58,167
and show them my book.
281
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,825
I can't do that. Why not?
282
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:09,334
Because I wasn't totally
honest with you before.
283
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:15,451
Daddy, this is really
hard for me to say, but...
284
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,921
the book is... is just
really not very good.
285
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:22,358
Then why'd you say you loved
it? That's what you wanted to hear.
286
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,693
Don't tell me what I wanted
to hear. I want to hear the truth!
287
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,795
Well, I'm telling it to you now.
288
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,798
Fine! You didn't like the book.
289
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:34,736
I'm gonna get the boys.
We'll be back at 1300 hours.
290
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,505
What time is that?
291
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:39,608
It's 1:00!
292
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,678
Why is that so difficult
for you to understand?
293
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,942
Every private in the army
gets it by the end of the first day!
294
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:50,086
Daddy, I'm really sorry
that I upset you, but...
295
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:53,910
I'm not upset! If I were
upset I'd be yelling!
296
00:16:56,816 --> 00:17:00,684
I remember now. The salesman
said that suit was a loden heather.
297
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:23,474
(snoring)
298
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,065
Wilson? Huh?
299
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:30,826
(clears throat)
300
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:34,196
Hi-de-ho, neighborette.
301
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,098
What are you doing?
302
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:39,101
Well, I'm just trying to read
this extremely lengthy tome
303
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:41,103
that your father gave me.
304
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:43,272
Why are you doing it out
here? It's freezing cold.
305
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:47,776
Well, I tried reading inside,
but I kept falling asleep.
306
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:52,148
Tim and I tried to talk to him about
it today, but he just got real upset.
307
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:55,017
There are those people that
don't respond well to criticism.
308
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:57,386
Yeah, and some of 'em yell. Mm.
309
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,988
You remember that movie
Old Yeller? Mm-hmm.
310
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:02,980
When it came out, we
thought it was about Daddy.
311
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,063
That must have been
difficult to grow up with.
312
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,564
Yeah, it was.
313
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,699
That's why we had
this house policy
314
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,501
never to upset him.
315
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:16,038
I always tried to follow
that rule, but today I couldn't.
316
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:18,474
So, you're feeling
that telling him the truth
317
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:19,975
was a mistake?
318
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:23,512
I've always really
adored my father.
319
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,847
You know, I don't
wanna do anything
320
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:27,849
to hurt that relationship.
321
00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:31,409
You mean the relationship
where you don't tell him the truth?
322
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:35,124
Yeah, that would be the one.
323
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,658
I don't know.
324
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:39,328
I mean, look what happened
when I told him the truth.
325
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,830
Maybe I should have
just kept my mouth shut.
326
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:45,334
Well, George Bernard Shaw
wouldn't have thought so.
327
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,836
He said we must
not stay as we are,
328
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,606
doing always what
was done last time,
329
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:54,110
or we shall stick in the mud.
330
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:57,968
Well, I'm stuck in something
deep here, Wilson, but it ain't mud.
331
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:03,919
So, I'm standing there in Korea
332
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:06,722
right on the 38th parallel,
333
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:09,358
when who taps
me on the shoulder?
334
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:12,328
General Douglas MacArthur.
335
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:15,097
Who?
336
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:18,400
Your father never told you
about General MacArthur?
337
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:21,225
No, but he told me
about General Motors.
338
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,706
Well, this guy was even bigger.
339
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:27,309
So we're standing there,
340
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,911
and what do you
think he hands me?
341
00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:32,515
An apple? A grenade.
342
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:35,451
You know how to throw
one of these things, son?
343
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,453
You grip it in your right hand,
344
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:40,322
you pull the pin with your teeth
345
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,391
and you let it fly.
346
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:45,494
No throwing grenades
in the house, Mark.
347
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,829
How'd you know what it was?
348
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:51,733
You kidding? I grew
up with fruit ammunition.
349
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,935
Honey, um, would
you go upstairs?
350
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:56,079
I wanna talk to Grandpa. OK.
351
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:01,577
Can I talk to you
for a minute, Dad?
352
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:04,012
About what? And
don't say the book.
353
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:07,216
I wish you wouldn't take
my criticism personally.
354
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,840
I said I don't wanna talk
about the book. Well, I do.
355
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,923
Where do you get
off criticizing me
356
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:16,492
in the first place?
357
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,494
What do you know
about the military?
358
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,996
You see, this is why I
didn't wanna tell you.
359
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,065
I knew you would
overreact. You always do.
360
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:25,568
That's why nobody can ever tell you
anything. What are you talking about?
361
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,159
When we were growing
up, we weren't allowed
362
00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:28,737
to tell you anything
that might upset you.
363
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:32,974
Oh, really? Then why the
hell was I upset so much?
364
00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:37,713
Dad, you didn't know half of
what was going on in that house.
365
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,715
I knew everything.
Oh, you did, did you?
366
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,384
OK, did you know that
when I was in high school
367
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,053
when I said I was going
on that all-girl ski weekend,
368
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,956
I really went to a peace march in
Washington with Tommy Burnett?
369
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,593
Tommy the commie?
370
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,428
I don't wanna know it.
371
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,763
You see? You wanna
be kept in the dark.
372
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,765
Some things are
better left unsaid.
373
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,768
Maybe for you, 'cause then you
could have the same order at home
374
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:02,605
that you had at the base,
but we're not your soldiers.
375
00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:04,607
Damn right. My soldiers
were under control.
376
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:07,610
Then I'd come home to
your mother and you five girls,
377
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:10,968
and I never knew what
the hell was going on!
378
00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:20,389
Dad...
379
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:23,191
I love you so much,
380
00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:27,963
and there were a million times
that I needed to talk to you,
381
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:31,199
but I felt like I couldn't.
382
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:34,970
I always thought I was
pretty easy to talk to.
383
00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:37,306
Well, you're not.
384
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:40,276
Well, we're talking now.
385
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:42,300
Yeah.
386
00:21:48,508 --> 00:21:52,521
Look, honey, I'm sorry
I chewed your head off
387
00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:55,223
about the book.
388
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:58,327
I'm sorry I didn't
like the book,
389
00:21:58,351 --> 00:22:02,052
but I'm glad that I had
the guts to tell you the truth.
390
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:14,532
If you look at it in this light,
it's more of a lima bean, isn't it?
391
00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:22,184
Hi. Hey, what are you doing?
392
00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:24,186
This thing's too easy for Randy,
393
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:26,188
so I tweaked it up a little bit.
394
00:22:26,212 --> 00:22:30,492
Oh... I hate when you
say that word "tweak."
395
00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:32,894
It makes my hackles go up.
396
00:22:32,918 --> 00:22:35,753
I love when your hackles go up.
397
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:39,067
Where's your dad?
398
00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:42,037
It's 20 degrees outside, and he's
out there futzing with the Lincoln.
399
00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:45,907
Watch how hard this
thing hits the net now.
400
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:52,180
Randy's gonna be a great
goalie. Watch the top-left corner.
401
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,982
(glass shatters)
402
00:22:54,006 --> 00:22:56,240
(colonel) My car!
403
00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:00,644
It was Jill!
404
00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:05,927
Fine. You didn't like the book.
405
00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:08,930
I'll go pick up the boys.
We'll be back at 13 hours.
406
00:23:08,954 --> 00:23:10,888
1300 hours!
406
00:23:11,305 --> 00:24:11,793
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