1
00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:04,814
And don't over-tighten it.
2
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,816
Change oil every 3,000 miles,
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,519
your engine will last
practically forever.
4
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,521
All right, Al, let's
get cleaned up.
5
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,223
Now, when we're cleaning up,
6
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:16,226
you wanna treat your tools
like a member of your family.
7
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:19,751
That's right. Al even invites
his tools over for Thanksgiving.
8
00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:23,622
Even his hammer-in-law.
9
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,171
My point is, when
you have a greasy tool,
10
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,241
it's best to clean it up with
Binford's Super Solvent.
11
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:33,743
I might also add
that this same solvent
12
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,912
can clean engine parts
when soaked overnight.
13
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:37,080
Overnight?
14
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:39,483
What happens if you
have that 2am hankering
15
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:42,219
to rebuild your motor?
16
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:45,411
Then you would wanna
call 1-800-CUCKOO.
17
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,593
Al has that number
on his speed dialer.
18
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,595
The point I'm trying to make is,
19
00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:54,597
to get the real gunk
off engine parts,
20
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:57,534
I've come up with
a new concoction.
21
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,769
You dip it in this stuff, boy...
22
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:02,105
Whew. Stand back.
23
00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:03,340
Whew! Boy.
24
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,342
Dip those engine parts in there,
25
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,944
they'll be so clean you
can see yourself in 'em.
26
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:11,314
In Al's case, that's not
a real good idea, though.
27
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:12,815
Dirty piston?
28
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:15,552
A thing of the past in Tim
Taylor's super-duper solvent.
29
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,020
It's high-energy.
30
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,111
(hissing)
31
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:30,722
That's 1-800-C-U-C-K-O-O.
32
00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:34,371
Before we sign off,
33
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,606
I'd like to tell
you a little bit
34
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,442
about some upcoming shows.
35
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,444
Former president Jimmy
Carter's favorite organization,
36
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:42,712
Habitat for Humanity,
will be here in Detroit,
37
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,714
and Al and I will
be helping 'em build.
38
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:47,317
Habitat works with needy
families and volunteers
39
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,819
who get together and
build affordable homes.
40
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:53,457
They offer a hand up, not a
handout. Very well said, Al.
41
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:56,593
For this special Habitat project,
in association with the NFL,
42
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,096
we'll be providing some
celebrity volunteers -
43
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,930
some of the Detroit Lions,
44
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,266
from the Denver
Broncos, John Elway,
45
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:06,103
and the heavyweight champion
of the world, Evander Holyfield -
46
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,604
working with me,
47
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:10,596
and alongside us will be
common folk like Al and his friends.
48
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,879
Tim and I will both be in
charge of building a house,
49
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:19,882
and we're going to do
this in only three days.
50
00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:21,418
(scoffs) Three days.
51
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,920
I'll build my house in one day.
52
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:27,679
That's including lunch, a nap
and two hours in a Porta-potty.
53
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:35,198
It's not a competition,
Tim. Really?
54
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:37,700
I bet you can't even
get near a Porta-potty
55
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,691
after I've been in
there two hours.
56
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:47,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
57
00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:34,424
Hey, Randy...
58
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,381
check this out.
59
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,962
Looks like real gold.
60
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:42,232
Yeah. I found it in the alley.
61
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,234
Ashley's birthday's on Friday.
62
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:46,769
I was gonna get her
a new bike reflector,
63
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,905
but I think this is even better.
64
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,062
You think?
65
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,412
Oh, here comes Mom.
66
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:58,014
Don't tell her about the locket.
67
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:01,585
Hi, Brad. Oh. Hi, Mom.
68
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,220
Bye, Mom.
69
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:04,554
Hey, Randy. Hey, Dad.
70
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,712
Hi, honey.
71
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:12,417
Well, got dinner.
Barbecue from Bits-o-Pig.
72
00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:17,634
Great, great.
73
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:20,637
Hey, uh, Marie and I
watched your show today.
74
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,138
Why?
75
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:24,095
There was nothing else good on.
76
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:28,211
You didn't tell me
that you were involved
77
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:30,280
in building those
houses for Habitat.
78
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,048
Didn't I mention it?
79
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,217
No, you didn't. I'd
really like to help.
80
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:36,620
That's why I didn't mention it.
81
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:39,623
It'd be fun. The two of us could
work together on the same team.
82
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:42,692
I don't really think that's
a good idea. Why not?
83
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:47,163
Well, I read somewhere that husbands
and wives shouldn't work together.
84
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:49,299
Where did you read that?
85
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:52,969
Husbands and Wives Shouldn't
Work Together Illustrated.
86
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,971
We get it down at work.
87
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:58,541
Hmm... I wonder what
they'd say about that
88
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,744
in that magazine that I get -
89
00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:03,101
Married To An Idiot Monthly.
90
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:07,850
Jill, under normal circumstances
I'd love to have you with me,
91
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,253
but this is construction.
92
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:12,589
You just don't want a
woman on your team, is that it?
93
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:16,660
No. This is lifting,
loading, shoveling...
94
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:19,496
For that, you need
testosterone-pumping
95
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,898
muscle-churning,
bone-crushing male power.
96
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,355
Arr-arr-arr-arr-arr.
97
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,091
Ow.
98
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,878
Hi. Tim "The Tool
Man" Taylor here.
99
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,880
You all know my
assistant Al Borland.
100
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:40,983
We're here on location at a
Habitat for Humanity job site.
101
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,152
Al's team and my team
will be building a house
102
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,555
similar to this one that's
already been started.
103
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:48,391
That's right, Tim, although
one of us has stacked the deck.
104
00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:50,393
I don't know what
you're talking about.
105
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:53,062
Let's go down to the vacant
lot and meet the teams,
106
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,019
starting with the
winning one - mine.
107
00:05:57,257 --> 00:06:00,269
All right, let's meet
Team Taylor, shall we?
108
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:02,271
John Elway from
the Denver Broncos.
109
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:05,608
Mile High guy, huh?
Good-looking man, too.
110
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:07,777
Sean Jones from the
Houston Oilers. Ano...
111
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,379
Another Mile High guy.
112
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:11,381
Looks good in
cotton, doesn't he?
113
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:13,383
All right. Bill Pickel
from the... Boy.
114
00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:15,385
Little help, Tool Man?
115
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,454
New York Jets. All right. OK.
116
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:20,289
And then Ken O'Brien from...
Whoever will take me, Tim.
117
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,124
Philadelphia Eagles, of course.
118
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:24,126
Now, we also have
Evander Holyfield
119
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:26,796
and Kelvin Pritchett
from the Lions due here,
120
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,798
but they're not here yet.
121
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,801
I've been waiting since 7:00 in
the rain. Where are those guys?
122
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,303
Why don't you tell
Holyfield you're unhappy?
123
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:35,805
Well, maybe I will.
124
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,640
This could be interesting, huh?
125
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,976
You guys ready to get
some serious building done?
126
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,678
(all) Arr-arr-arr-arr-arr.
127
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:44,881
Let's go take a look
at Al's team, shall we?
128
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,984
(scoffs) Right.
129
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:51,954
Well, the first member of
Team Al I would like you to meet
130
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,956
is Tim's wife Jill.
131
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:58,094
Hi. I'm very happy to be out here
working for such a worthy cause.
132
00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,296
Next we have...
133
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,866
the reigning Miss America,
Miss Kimberly Aiken.
134
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:03,966
Hi.
135
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,902
Welcome aboard. Thanks.
136
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:09,038
Hi, Kimberly. Tim Taylor.
Good to have you on. Hello.
137
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:12,008
You wearing that crown
under your hat there?
138
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:15,412
Yeah, and I have my evening
gown on under my overalls.
139
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:17,280
Really...?
140
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:19,282
This here is Gwen number one.
141
00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:22,385
She's been working on Habitat
houses for what, ten years?
142
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:26,790
And this is Gwen number two.
She is a professional plumber.
143
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:30,727
And Denise here is
a master electrician.
144
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:34,163
Isn't that just dandy? This
team can build a house.
145
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:36,433
My team can bench-press a house.
146
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:39,903
Yeah, it'll make it a lot
easier to dust under it.
147
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,004
Well, you've met the teams.
148
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:44,696
Now we start
building, so stay tuned.
149
00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:50,012
John, what are you doing?
150
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:53,483
Having a little breakfast
while we look at the plan.
151
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,652
Do I know you? Eric Hipple.
152
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,654
Eric Hipple.
Quarterback for the Lions.
153
00:07:57,678 --> 00:08:00,158
Yeah. Didn't recognize you.
You're not flat on your back.
154
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:04,527
All right, guys,
let's get to work.
155
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:06,930
You're The Tool Man. What
do you want us to do first?
156
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:08,765
We're gonna build the walls
157
00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:11,267
and then put 'em all
up together, same time.
158
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,937
It says here we should put
these walls up as we build 'em.
159
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:15,939
Yeah. That way
we know if it fits.
160
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:18,675
Eric's right, Tim. I think
we should stick to the plans.
161
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,510
(sighs)
162
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:23,412
John, you're a quarterback. You
don't always stick with the plans.
163
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:26,048
Yeah, but we're not playing
football, we're building a house.
164
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:28,518
All right, I'm gonna
say this once.
165
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:31,921
You guys know how to tackle, I
know how to spackle, all right?
166
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,723
(mumbles) Come on, get to work.
167
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,313
Hey, Holyfield.
168
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:41,197
Evander, give me the doughnut.
169
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,354
I don't think so, Tim.
170
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,170
Kelvin, where you been?
171
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,672
Tim, you gave me
wrong directions.
172
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,941
You should have checked
them twice. Right, Evander?
173
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:55,211
Hey, you gave me the
wrong directions, too. Did I?
174
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,913
Let's do the wall.
Wait a minute.
175
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,870
Do I jump in the ring
and tell you how to box?
176
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,810
Not like I would.
177
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,392
Why don't we build that house?
178
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,895
Nice-looking shirt.
179
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:15,386
(Aretha Franklin) ♪ This is
the house that Jack built, y'all
180
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,757
♪ Remember this house
181
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,672
♪ This was the land
that he worked by hand
182
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,441
♪ It was the dream
of an upright man
183
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:27,911
♪ There was the room
that was filled with love
184
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:30,713
♪ It was a love
that I was proud of
185
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,815
♪ This is the life,
the life that he planned
186
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:34,684
♪ On the love, the same old love
187
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:37,620
♪ In the house that Jack built
♪ The house that Jack built
188
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:39,310
♪ Remember this house
189
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,160
♪ There was the fence that
held our love ♪ Yes, it was
190
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,162
♪ There was the gate
that he walked out of
191
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:49,566
♪ This is the heart, it has
turned to stone ♪ Yes, it is
192
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,734
♪ This is the house,
it ain't no home
193
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,037
♪ This is the love
that I destroyed
194
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,372
♪ I can't believe
that I toyed with love
195
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,641
♪ In the house that Jack built
♪ The house that Jack built
196
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,510
♪ I'm gonn' remember this house
197
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:07,083
♪ Oh, what is the use of cryin'?
198
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,185
♪ You know I
brought it on myself
199
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,275
♪ There's no denyin'
200
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:15,246
♪ But it seems... ♪
201
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,563
Hey, Randy, great news.
Ashley loved the locket.
202
00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:23,365
She's crazy about me. All right.
203
00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:26,035
You know, this girl
thing is pretty easy.
204
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,827
Just gotta keep finding
jewelry in the street.
205
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,407
Hi, guys. Hey, boys.
206
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,809
Hey. Hi, Mom.
207
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,310
You were absolutely right.
208
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,145
Couples shouldn't work together.
209
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:39,104
If I were on your team,
I'd be way behind, too.
210
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,919
We're not way behind.
We're pacing ourselves.
211
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:45,755
And why do you turn
everything into a competition?
212
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:47,590
I just can't help it.
213
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,592
I guess it's just my
estrogen-pumping,
214
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:51,776
bone-crunching feminine side.
215
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,655
Sounds like Mom's
kicking your butt.
216
00:10:57,924 --> 00:11:02,138
Yeah, with Al
and a team of girls.
217
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:05,163
You're losing to girls?
218
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:10,479
I wouldn't consider
Miss America a girl.
219
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,048
She's almost professional.
220
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:14,050
I heard in her
talent competition,
221
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,041
she put up dry wall.
222
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:19,522
And I'd be doing a lot better
223
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:22,480
if I wasn't stuck with a
bunch of lightweight wimps!
224
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:27,196
Hey, guys, let Marie in. OK.
225
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,564
Hi, Marie. Hi, Marie.
226
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:31,901
Jill, I'm so upset.
I lost my locket.
227
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:34,336
That gold one that you
were wearing yesterday?
228
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,806
My grandmother gave
that to me when I was little.
229
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,307
I can't find it anywhere.
230
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,242
Don't worry about
it. We'll help you.
231
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:43,334
These boys can find anything.
232
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,738
I know Brad can.
233
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,325
Look, Elway, I saw you
goofing around today,
234
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:59,796
and I'm not gonna
put up with this stuff.
235
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:02,665
What? Yes, I'd say
this to your face.
236
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,956
I might not be
yelling this loud.
237
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:10,873
No, you can't be
traded to Al's team.
238
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,275
Tomorrow I expect you
lifting something heavier
239
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:16,079
than a jelly doughnut.
240
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,081
And why don't you tell that
241
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:21,050
to your little friend
Holyfield, too?
242
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,842
Actually, I'd prefer
if you'd tell him.
243
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,223
Right, OK. Bye, John.
244
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,625
(bang) Oh!
245
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:32,261
Getting a little panicky, Tim?
246
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:33,763
I'm not panicking.
247
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:35,865
The guys just need
a little motivation.
248
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:38,367
What you guys
need is some women.
249
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:40,502
They build this house right,
250
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:43,172
I'll get 'em all the
women they want.
251
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:46,175
You had your chance
to get me on your team,
252
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,111
and you blew it.
253
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,846
All right, all right.
254
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:53,415
You wanna be on the team
tomorrow, you can be on the team.
255
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:56,219
Might as well just bring that
woman that does plumbing
256
00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:59,021
and that other gal that
does the roof with you, too.
257
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:02,024
So you're ready to admit that
when it comes to building a house,
258
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:04,060
women are as good as men?
259
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:07,152
Why do you make
everything into a competition?
260
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:15,404
You should be more like
me. I think everybody's equal.
261
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:16,973
Since when?
262
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,975
I've always felt that way.
263
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,110
Men are in every way
as equal to women,
264
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:24,169
and women are in every
way as (coughs) to men.
265
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,583
Well, all I gotta say, Tim,
266
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:32,143
is my team of women is beating
the (coughs) out of your team of men.
267
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:38,027
Dad, I need to talk to you.
268
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:39,528
What about?
269
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,597
OK. All right.
270
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:43,933
What if you found
something in an alley,
271
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,768
gave it to your girlfriend...
272
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:48,759
Shh. Your mom doesn't
know about my girlfriend.
273
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:54,376
Dad... All right. Keep goin'.
274
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:58,380
And then you found out it belonged to
somebody else, and you had to get it back.
275
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,883
Wait a minute. Let
me get this straight.
276
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:03,052
You found
something in the alley.
277
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,721
You didn't bother to
find out the owner of it,
278
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:08,657
and you gave it
to your girlfriend?
279
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:09,792
Yeah?
280
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,515
Been there.
281
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:17,433
You gotta tell the truth.
282
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:19,902
The truth? Yeah, tell the truth.
283
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:22,404
Everything else
is a waste of time.
284
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:24,907
Women will see
right through you.
285
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:27,476
They'll make you pay.
(weather report on TV)
286
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,478
How do you know, Dad?
287
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:32,648
'Cause I've paid.
288
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:35,139
Oh, God, have I paid.
289
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:42,925
Hey, Tim, where you been?
290
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:45,427
We've been working out
here for hours in the rain.
291
00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:48,497
It's intermittent, John. I
was buying an exhaust fan.
292
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,233
We already have an exhaust fan.
293
00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:51,734
Not like this.
294
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:55,571
This baby will suck
the air out of a blimp.
295
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,539
Is that all you got done
since I've been gone?
296
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,808
Yeah. You got a problem
with that, Tool Man?
297
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:02,245
That's cotton, isn't it?
298
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:05,281
It's a cotton/rayon
mix or something. Nice.
299
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,116
We're doing the best we can,
300
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,318
considering our captain
spends all his time shopping.
301
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,320
This is all necessary
equipment. Right, Howard?
302
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:15,057
No, it isn't, and now
they're way ahead of us.
303
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,015
Oh, no.
304
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:21,264
Hey, Mr. Macho,
enjoying the rain?
305
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:23,366
It's intermittent.
306
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:26,635
And for your information,
we're way ahead over here.
307
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,170
(laughing) Yeah, right.
308
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:30,672
By the time you
get your siding up,
309
00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:33,776
we'll be done and the owner
will be getting junk mail.
310
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,467
Well, hi-de-ho,
good Samaritan Tim.
311
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:40,682
Wilson? What are
you doing over there?
312
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:43,685
Well, Jill told me about the
project and asked me if I could help.
313
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:46,855
If you wanted to help, why
didn't you join my team?
314
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:49,125
Well, Tim, aren't we
all on the same team?
315
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,327
No. And your team
seems to be winning.
316
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:53,930
Tim, this isn't a question
of winning and losing.
317
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:55,431
Perhaps you're familiar
318
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:59,135
with the great German
philosopher Immanuel Kant.
319
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:05,841
He said, "Idee zu einer allgemeinen
Geschichte in weltburgerlicher Absicht."
320
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,810
Ain't that the truth.
321
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,812
Well, Tim, all he's saying is,
322
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:13,349
the important part of generosity
is generosity of the spirit.
323
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:16,018
Oh, yeah. You gotta
have spirit, don't you?
324
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:18,120
Hey, Wilson, what are
you doing out there?
325
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:21,123
I was just explaining to your
husband the meaning of benevolence.
326
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,260
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put a
cork in it and get back to work.
327
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:28,697
Why don't you go tell
her what you just told me?
328
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:34,025
Jill? Idee zu einer...
329
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:37,928
(♪ rock on TV)
330
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,313
(switches TV off)
331
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,915
Um, Ashley... about the locket.
332
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,818
Would it be all
right if I took it back
333
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,820
and got something even nicer?
334
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,956
Like what?
335
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:57,548
Um, how about a
bicycle reflector?
336
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,131
Hi, Brad. Hi, Ashley.
337
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,966
Oh, hi, Mrs.
Taylor. Look what...
338
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,201
No!
339
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:07,903
Brad...
340
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,438
What are you doing?
341
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,807
You looked like
you needed a hug.
342
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,775
Oh. That's so sensitive.
343
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:17,235
Brad's always been the
sensitive one in the family.
344
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:23,819
Try not to be so sensitive, OK?
345
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,988
Oh, gosh.
346
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:28,724
I am so sore.
347
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:32,361
But not as sore as your father.
348
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,863
Um, come on, Ashley.
I'll walk you home,
349
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,866
and, um, we can talk about
what else I can get you,
350
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,701
you know, some other time.
351
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:40,991
(doorbell rings)
352
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:43,994
Hi, Brad.
353
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:49,345
(doorbell rings) (Jill)
Brad, get the door!
354
00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:53,282
OK! I'll meet you
in the backyard. OK.
355
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:56,085
(doorbell rings)
356
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,087
Nice greeting.
357
00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:01,090
Hi, Marie. Hi, Jill. Do you
guys have a staple gun?
358
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:04,834
I wanna put up fliers about
the locket I lost. (knock on door)
359
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:08,564
Why is Ashley in the backyard?
360
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:13,657
Uh, she doesn't have one,
so I said she could use ours.
361
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:19,442
Brad, what is going
on here? Nothing.
362
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:22,844
Um... I think I saw the
staple gun in the garage.
363
00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:25,470
Right. I'll go get it. Yeah.
364
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,109
Hey, butthead.
365
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,523
Hi, Marie. Hi, Tim.
366
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:38,227
Brad. Well, how'd it
go with your girlfriend?
367
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:41,197
I think I'm almost
out of the woods.
368
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:45,534
Oh, how many times
I've said those words.
369
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,937
Brad, look what happened.
The chain on my locket broke.
370
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,773
Let me take a
look at it, Ashley.
371
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,776
It's nothing. I can fix it with my
needle-nose pliers in the garage.
372
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,379
No, Dad, don't go in
the garage. Why not?
373
00:18:57,403 --> 00:18:59,815
Tim! Oh, you found my locket.
374
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,485
No, this is Ashley's.
I'm just fixing the thing.
375
00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:04,353
Yeah, that's my locket.
Brad gave it to me.
376
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:07,456
No, no. Honey, my
grandmother gave me this locket.
377
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:12,049
Oh... Oh. Looks like somebody
here didn't tell the truth!
378
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:16,565
Brad?
379
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,367
Brad?
380
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,791
Tim?
381
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,206
Don't look at me.
382
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,375
I told him to tell the truth.
383
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:29,044
Well, I guess I'm gonna
have to pay, huh, Dad?
384
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:31,148
Oh, God, are you gonna pay.
385
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:37,386
Well, the tension is
mounting at this Habitat site.
386
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,388
We're waiting for
the final inspection.
387
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:41,890
There's the inspector now.
He just looked at Al's house.
388
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,593
Judging by the look on
his face, he's not too happy.
389
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:47,585
Larry, go in and see if you
can see what they're saying.
390
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:53,169
Al, Jill... you did
an exceptional job.
391
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:56,372
In fact, I think you
built the perfect house.
392
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:59,530
Thank you, Inspector. Thank you!
393
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,680
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
394
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,516
Well, the inspectors are
overly polite sometimes.
395
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,552
They appreciate hard work.
396
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:12,054
And after we come
back, we're gonna see
397
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:15,112
the Tim Taylor...
"more perfect" house.
398
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,430
Oh, Tim, looks like our house
399
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:23,832
is gonna be pretty hard to beat.
400
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:26,101
Jill, this isn't a
competition. I know it's not.
401
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:29,371
You're darn right it's not. Elway,
come on. Let's go bask in our glory.
402
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,373
OK, guys, stand by.
403
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:35,944
And 5, 4, 3, 2...
404
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:39,081
Welcome back. Now the
moment we've all been waiting for.
405
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:41,950
A little gander at my
house. Come on in.
406
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:44,620
Inspector, I think you're
gonna be remarkably impressed
407
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,922
with the quality of workmanship.
408
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,446
Let's go in.
409
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:54,318
Doorknobs were
Elway's department.
410
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:00,469
This is very nice. Thank you.
411
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:01,970
I like the archway.
412
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:04,806
Well, we, um... we
didn't go by just the plans.
413
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:07,309
We actually made some
improvements in the house
414
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:08,644
on our own.
415
00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:11,269
Wait till you see the
kitchen. Come on in.
416
00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:14,717
Those upper
cabinets are equipped
417
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,719
with fully concealed
adjustable hinges,
418
00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:19,221
and we installed a reverse
osmosis water filtration system.
419
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:21,612
(sucking/clicking sounds)
420
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:27,396
Should have never put
Holyfield in charge of plumbing.
421
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:30,799
Look at the rest of the house. The kitchen
needs a little work, but come on this way.
422
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:33,034
Look at this bathroom here, huh?
423
00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:35,304
Yeah, that's nice. That's great.
424
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:37,806
You gotta try our new
exhaust fan, though.
425
00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:39,808
At least try that. First
switch here. Custom.
426
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,766
(whooshing)
427
00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:48,384
The living room. It's our
pride and joy. Try that.
428
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:50,508
I'll try to find that hat.
429
00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:59,395
Jill, guess what I got.
430
00:21:59,419 --> 00:22:02,731
A video from President Carter.
431
00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:04,667
Good guess.
432
00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:07,336
His office called
to see if we got it.
433
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,405
Well, we did. This is great.
434
00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:11,407
It's his thank-you or something.
435
00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:12,797
Let's watch.
436
00:22:16,636 --> 00:22:18,814
Hi, Tim, Al and Jill.
437
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:20,982
I'd like to thank you
for your participation
438
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:22,951
in our Habitat for
Humanity housing blitz.
439
00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:26,054
You're welcome.
440
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:28,056
Al and Jill, the house you built
441
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,392
is a perfect example
of what can happen
442
00:22:30,416 --> 00:22:33,216
when caring people band
together for a common goal.
443
00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:37,488
And Tim... what can I say?
444
00:22:43,396 --> 00:22:45,341
Crews are working
round the clock
445
00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:47,565
to repair the house you built.
446
00:22:50,069 --> 00:22:53,203
Oh, yeah. Rosalynn
would like a picture of Al.
447
00:22:55,007 --> 00:22:57,575
Let's tape over this.
448
00:23:01,446 --> 00:23:06,395
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Try
our special exhaust fan.
449
00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:08,252
It's right here.
450
00:23:11,290 --> 00:23:13,524
(cackling)
451
00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:20,598
Wait...
451
00:23:21,305 --> 00:24:21,308
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