1
00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:02,679
All right.
2
00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:05,682
I'm gonna show you how to do a
reversal from the down position.
3
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:08,251
I'm gonna pin you in
about three seconds.
4
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:12,356
That's real fair, Dad. You
weigh like a ton more than me.
5
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:16,426
A ton? OK, if that's not fair, why
don't I just take on all three of you?
6
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:17,749
All right!
7
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,121
Come on, you
bunch of little girls.
8
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:27,804
1, 2, 3! You're
pinned! You lose!
9
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,806
Yeah, but...
10
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:33,443
not the second round! No!
11
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:37,514
Dad, it smells under
here! Seriously!
12
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,072
It's the Tim Taylor
half-smelly-nelson!
13
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:44,621
Yeah, Dad. Your
pits are the pits!
14
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:48,713
Hi, guys. I see he's got you
in that half-smelly-nelson.
15
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:52,429
How'd you know?
16
00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:55,265
He perfected it on me.
17
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,534
Boys, aren't you supposed
to be doing homework?
18
00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:00,170
I was until Dad called
us down to wrestle.
19
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:02,172
Tim...
20
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:05,108
You won't wrestle with me
anymore, iguana woman. Come on.
21
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:07,411
Hey, just put the
groceries away, ape man.
22
00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:09,068
(grunts)
23
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,918
Bite-size pretzels...
24
00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:18,655
bite-size quiche. Darling.
25
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:21,658
Bite-size pizza. Who's coming
over, the Bite-size family?
26
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:26,329
I told you, I'm giving a baby
shower for Linda from work.
27
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:28,398
Linda. Her husband's the crook?
28
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:31,334
He's not a crook. He's a cook.
29
00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:33,537
We went to his restaurant.
30
00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:36,373
That's right. I paid
the bill. He's a crook.
31
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:38,442
Anyway, it's at
2:00 on Saturday,
32
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:41,278
and a lot of people from
work are gonna be there.
33
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:43,980
You mean a lot of people
people or a lot of women people?
34
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:46,149
Women people.
35
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:49,253
They're just like men people, only they
have longer hair, and they're smarter.
36
00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:52,855
Bunch of women at a baby shower,
37
00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:58,095
yakking about stretch
marks, bloating, labor pains...
38
00:01:58,119 --> 00:02:02,665
I wanna discuss labor
pains, I'll talk to a union man.
39
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,801
Oh, come on. It'll be fun.
40
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:07,704
Why don't you pop your head
in and say hi for a second?
41
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:10,440
I really want you to meet
my women friends from work.
42
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,509
Can't this Saturday. Why not?
43
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:15,712
I'm busy on Saturday. We're
doing that Tool Time till 2:00.
44
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:18,148
And I told the boys
I'd rush back here
45
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:20,150
and take them to the
demolition derby at four.
46
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,319
Well, there's two
hours in between there.
47
00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:23,720
Well, then I go upstairs.
48
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,955
To do what?
49
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,712
Upstairs stuff.
50
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:35,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
51
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,885
What do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
52
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,802
Does everybody
know what time it is?
53
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,737
(all) Tool Time!
54
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,772
That's right. Binford
Tools is proud to present
55
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,730
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
56
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:57,581
Thank you, everybody,
and welcome to Tool Time.
57
00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,982
I'm Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
58
00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:03,553
Thank you, Heidi. Poor
little Al's out sick today.
59
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,922
But don't have a
flannel meltdown.
60
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:09,715
He's gonna be helping us out by
phone. Heidi, my Al phone, please.
61
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,298
Here you go, Tim.
Thank you, Heidi.
62
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:18,968
He's looking pretty
sprightly, isn't he?
63
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:22,138
Al, you there? Ahchoo!
64
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:25,575
Use a tissue, fella. Come on!
65
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:28,600
I would like the audience
to know that I used a hanky.
66
00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:34,217
This is the first time
you've been out sick, isn't it?
67
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,719
Which is amazing,
68
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:39,322
considering all the injuries
you've inflicted on me.
69
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,280
Put your hand down, Tim.
70
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,795
Anyway, today we continue
our week-long salute...
71
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,398
(drain gurgling)
72
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:51,000
to plumbing.
73
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,670
And joining us today is
master plumber Felix Myman.
74
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,060
Let's give him a big
Tool Time welcome.
75
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:03,112
Good to have you aboard,
Felix. Nice to be here, Tim.
76
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,515
Felix and I go way back, right?
77
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:10,186
That's right. I've been to your house
for all of your plumbing disasters.
78
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:13,590
The water heater, the
dishwasher, Jill's bathtub...
79
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:15,191
I think we get the point.
80
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:18,784
Anyway, we'll try to get...
(Al snorts and snickers)
81
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,270
Being a master plumber,
82
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:30,006
Felix is experienced with all
sorts of bathroom problems -
83
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:32,008
sinks, showers...
84
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,544
Speaking of showers, what
do you think of baby showers?
85
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:38,348
I'm against them. I think
babies should take baths.
86
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,450
No, it's a different
sort of shower.
87
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,519
It's like when
women get together
88
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:45,622
and yap about what to
do when their water breaks.
89
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:47,724
With any kind of water breakage,
90
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:50,515
you wanna call a
licensed plumber.
91
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:02,439
The first segment of our plumbing
show will start in the bathroom,
92
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:04,808
where all the action takes
place, right on the throne.
93
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:08,352
We're talking about a sweaty
toilet. Heidi, my sweaty toilet, please.
94
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,015
Here you are, Tim.
Thank you, Heidi.
95
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,083
You're welcome.
96
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:16,686
Now, what is a sweaty toilet?
97
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,823
Is it a toilet that's just overstressed
from too many seat-ups?
98
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:23,360
Oh! Oh! Oh!
99
00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:24,949
I don't think so, Tim.
100
00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:28,431
Actually, Tim, this
problem occurs
101
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:31,000
when the cold water in
the tank cools the porcelain,
102
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,903
and the warm, moist air
condenses on the sides.
103
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:36,038
Well said, Felix.
104
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,274
I'm glad there's somebody there
who knows what he's talking about.
105
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,810
I'm usually the one that
has to step in and tell Tim...
106
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,812
Talk to you later, Al.
107
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,348
(dial tone)
108
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:47,851
OK, Felix. What do we
do about a sweaty toilet?
109
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:51,287
You can install a tempering
valve to mix the hot and cold water
110
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,256
before it enters the tank.
111
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,458
But that's for professional
installation only.
112
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,794
For that, hire a licensed
plumber like Felix.
113
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,462
For the do-it-yourselfer,
114
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:03,600
you can just cement
foam liners inside the tank.
115
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:06,403
You'll wanna drain the
water from the tank first
116
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:09,005
and use an epoxy resin cement,
117
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,441
which will take a
couple of hours to dry.
118
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:14,699
Yeah, but, Felix, when
you gotta go, you got to go.
119
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,614
That's why I recommend
120
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:20,683
Binford's ultra-fast-drying
urethane adhesive.
121
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:22,752
I'm not sure you wanna
use that kind of glue.
122
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:27,123
I know what I'm doing here,
OK? Just wait till it's tacky...
123
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:30,693
Tim, I'd be careful. That's
instant glue you're using.
124
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:34,898
It's not like instant instant.
125
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,822
(phone ringing)
126
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,862
Would you get that
for me? Oh, sure.
127
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:48,077
Hello? Oh, hi, Al.
128
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,679
What does he want?
129
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:53,404
He wants to know if you've got
your hands glued to the toilet yet.
130
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,542
Come on!
131
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:05,862
(all) Aw!
132
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:09,365
I love these bootees.
They're darling.
133
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:12,969
OK. Anybody ready
for cake? (all) Ohh!
134
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,537
I'll help you.
135
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:17,941
OK. Hi, sweetie. When did
you get home? I'm not home.
136
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:20,142
Jill, is that your husband?
137
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:23,980
Tell 'em I'm your Latin lover
Miguel, and I don't speak English.
138
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:28,317
Yes, it is my husband.
Come and say hi.
139
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,652
IHola!
140
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:33,990
Come and say hi
and don't act stupid.
141
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,959
This is my husband Tim.
142
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,927
(all) Hi. Hi, everybody.
Welcome to our house.
143
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,563
Um... Shower power!
144
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:44,567
So, I finally get to meet
"The Tool Man." Yeah.
145
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:47,169
You know, I watch your
show all the time. Really?
146
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,437
Yeah. Who are you?
147
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:52,108
Nora. I loved the
one on squeaky floors.
148
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,611
"A squeak, a
creak or a... Ohhh!"
149
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,613
A lot of people liked that show.
150
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:59,037
Yeah. Two letters
have already poured in.
151
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:03,953
Jill, I hope you don't
mind me saying this,
152
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,455
but I think Tim is even
more handsome in person
153
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:08,525
than he is on television.
154
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:11,794
Well... Excuse me. I don't mind.
155
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,295
You are...? Eve.
156
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:16,454
Can I get you a cold drink,
some dip or a condominium?
157
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:21,203
And - I'm just taking a shot -
you must be the guest of honor.
158
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:24,106
Hi. I'm Linda. Can
you join us, Tim?
159
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:28,011
Oh... I'm not a big baby-shower
guy. I'm a big baby guy.
160
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:30,947
Oh. I hope my husband
turns out to be a big baby guy.
161
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:33,115
He's really nervous right now.
162
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,617
Here. I'll take
these. Thank you.
163
00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:36,653
Guys are generally
nervous about babies.
164
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:39,288
You women do all the work, and
then we have to sit back and think,
165
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:42,291
"Will I be a good father to
him? Will he relate to me?"
166
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:45,161
Or even worse, what if
he turns out to be a she?
167
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:47,897
Then I have to protect
she from all the he's.
168
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:52,201
You sound like you've
given this a lot of thought.
169
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:56,573
We had three boys. They were babies
once, and they were really cool babies.
170
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,775
I think men have a lot
in common with babies.
171
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:02,045
We both get real cranky
if we don't get fed on time.
172
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,180
We like to take
naps in the afternoon.
173
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:07,572
And I don't know a guy in the world that
doesn't like a good game of peek-a-boo.
174
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:13,690
(women) Ohh!
175
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:15,725
This is a lot of fun. I
wish I could stay around.
176
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:18,917
Have a nice shower
and have fun here. Bye.
177
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,631
What a doll.
178
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:24,166
Jill, you are so lucky.
179
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:27,403
That is exactly the kind of
man I've been looking for.
180
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,138
He is fabulous.
181
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,997
He is fabulous. Who was that?
182
00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,946
This was a great shower,
Jill. Thank you so much.
183
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,682
You're welcome.
Here, I'll do that.
184
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:43,452
I've put all your gifts in the trunk.
Where'd you get that bib with the trough?
185
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,454
It'd be perfect for ball games.
186
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:49,025
"That last beer was a
little too much for me."
187
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,327
I'm gonna take the boys
on an educational trip.
188
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:52,762
Museum? Library?
189
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:56,432
Actually, demolition
derby. Vroom-bam!
190
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:59,168
He is so funny. You
must laugh all the time.
191
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,059
All the time.
192
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,941
Thanks again. You be well.
193
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,575
Bye. Bye-bye.
194
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:10,913
Here you go, here you go.
195
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:14,350
Thanks, Mom. Bye-bye.
Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.
196
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,352
Yes! See you later, honey.
197
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,788
You! Wait.
198
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:19,989
What?
199
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,224
You were incredible
at that shower.
200
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:25,628
You were funny and
charming and sexy.
201
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:29,532
All the women wanted
to be married to you.
202
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:32,223
I wanted to be
married to them, too.
203
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:38,574
Maybe we could work out some
kind of time-share arrangement.
204
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:43,312
You know, sometimes I just forget
what an amazing hunk of man you are.
205
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:44,336
Ohh.
206
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:49,056
Well, I'd love to stick
around and give you
207
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,453
a little reminder, but...
the boys need me.
208
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:52,655
I need you.
209
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,391
(car horn honks) Ah!
210
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,216
Demolition derby... sexy wife.
211
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:02,620
Demolition derby...
ooh, sexy wife.
212
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,402
Could you hold that thought
till about 10:00 tonight?
213
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,359
This thought here?
214
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:16,300
That would... that would
be the one. (car horn honks)
215
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,303
Hurry back, mister.
216
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:25,509
Every time I see two heaps slam into one
another tonight, I'll be thinking about us.
217
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:40,436
Honey, what a demolition
derby. I wish you'd been there.
218
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:44,140
We were so close to the action,
you could taste the exhaust.
219
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:46,209
I'm glad you're back.
Where are the boys?
220
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:49,145
They're in their rooms.
Proud of those little guys.
221
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:52,348
They each had one of
those 52-ounce root beers.
222
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,583
Randy let out a burp so loud,
223
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:57,441
one of the drivers
thought he blew a tire.
224
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,891
I always knew that
that boy was special.
225
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:04,326
(whistles) Are you looking good.
226
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:06,829
Let me get out of
these cruddy clothes.
227
00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:09,487
Don't take too long. I won't.
228
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:13,335
What a great night
with the boys, though.
229
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:16,639
A lot of good food... Oh!
230
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:17,996
Ah!
231
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:23,935
Ohh! I got some double-cheese
nachos sitting right here.
232
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,871
(burps) Ohh!
233
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:30,519
Tim!
234
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,421
Got a little gas ball
moving, moving...
235
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:33,544
(burps)
236
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,325
Ah!
237
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:39,217
This is real attractive.
238
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,332
So...
239
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,256
where were we?
240
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:51,095
It's kinda hard to remember.
241
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,743
This'll refresh your memory.
242
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,467
(stifles burp)
243
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,340
Sorry.
244
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:10,259
Sorry. I'm sorry.
Mark was right. Ohh.
245
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,763
You shouldn't have double
onions on those chili dogs.
246
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,620
Hello...
247
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:28,077
Where are you going?
248
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,979
I've had enough.
249
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,680
I thought we were
gonna, you know...
250
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,650
Are you insane?
251
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,953
You were drooling
all over me when I left.
252
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,421
Yeah, well, that
was a different guy.
253
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:45,083
What happened to the man who was
debonair and attractive and oozing charm?
254
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:50,233
That's me. I'm him.
255
00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:55,171
No, you're the guy that burps and
oozes something, but it isn't charm.
256
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:57,539
You were charming the
pants off those women today.
257
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,942
Why don't you do
that with me anymore?
258
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:02,178
I was just trying to
make a good impression.
259
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,813
It really ticks me off that
just because we're married,
260
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:08,517
everybody else gets the best
part of you, and I just get the rest.
261
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:10,953
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
262
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:13,455
Back the trolley
up here a minute.
263
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:15,791
It's not like I get
the best o' Jill.
264
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:19,117
That morning breath could
take the paint off my hot rod.
265
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,932
And how about
this little ratty robe?
266
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:25,323
Like that says, "Come
and take me, big fella."
267
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:30,206
The point is that
tonight, I really tried.
268
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:33,630
When was the last time that you
put on something like this for me?
269
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:37,679
I put that on, I'd
be arrested, honey.
270
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,615
Come on.
271
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:42,318
All I wanted was
one night of romance,
272
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:44,820
and you turn it
into a big argument.
273
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:49,758
So let's not argue. I, for
one, am still in the mood.
274
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,583
I'm taking a wild
shot that you're not.
275
00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:59,635
Ohh! Drat, drat,
drat, drat, drat.
276
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,870
Problem, Wilson?
277
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:06,409
Well, Tim, I am attempting
to balance an egg,
278
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,644
but it's not easy.
279
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,002
But if it falls, it's
overeasy. (chuckles)
280
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,240
You are quite the yolkster.
281
00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:22,925
Actually, Tim, some people believe
that an egg will stand on its end
282
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:25,094
during the vernal equinox.
283
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:27,163
The vernal what-nox?
284
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,497
The vernal equinox, Tim.
285
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,732
It signifies the
first day of spring,
286
00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:33,035
it's when the sun is
directly over the equator
287
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:36,172
and gravitational
pull is at its strongest.
288
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:39,108
That's probably
what's affecting Jill.
289
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,110
What'd you do this time, Tim?
290
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:44,680
I didn't do anything. She's bent out
of shape because I'm too charming.
291
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:50,086
You are quite the dazzler. I don't
see why that would upset Jill, though.
292
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:53,222
She thinks I'm only charming
for other people and not her.
293
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,724
Oh. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
294
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:59,962
I think she wants things to be
like they were when we first met.
295
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:01,897
But I like the way
things are now.
296
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:05,368
I like not always having to impress
the other person or get dressed up.
297
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:08,004
Mm-hmm. So you would tend
to agree with J.B. Priestley,
298
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:12,108
who said that, "Marriage is like an
endless visit in your worst clothes."
299
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,842
(chuckles)
300
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:16,178
That guy really
knew about marriage.
301
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:19,348
And divorce, too. He
was married three times.
302
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,517
Oh, no!
303
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,886
Three mother-in-laws. (clucks)
304
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,854
(laughs)
305
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,290
When Jill and I
first got married,
306
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:31,227
in order win her, I really
had to pour on the charm.
307
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:33,962
Then she wanted to see through
the charm and see if I really loved her.
308
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:37,533
And now that she knows I really
love her, she wants the charm back.
309
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:41,770
Hmm. Well, Tim, maybe
after 15 years of marriage,
310
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:46,742
making an effort to be more
charming has more meaning.
311
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,777
Hmm. Yeah.
312
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:52,348
It's too bad. I like being
comfortable in my own house.
313
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:55,940
If I've got a little gas, I don't want
to have to run out to the backyard.
314
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,944
I don't want that, either.
315
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,821
Jill? Hi.
316
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:14,770
Hi. I was laying
under the hot rod,
317
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,905
and I got to thinking about you.
318
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,942
Really? Usually
you're laying with me
319
00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:22,700
and get to thinking
about the hot rod.
320
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:27,015
I think you're right.
321
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:30,419
I don't really work on
charming you like I used to.
322
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,188
Well, that's true.
323
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:36,525
I don't think you wore coveralls
to bed until the fifth anniversary.
324
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:40,784
I just don't wanna be one of those
priests that drops eggs on his three wives.
325
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:46,324
What?
326
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:53,675
Sometimes in a marriage,
you can get too comfortable.
327
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:56,545
Well, we're both getting lazy.
328
00:18:56,569 --> 00:19:00,149
I guess after 15 years and
three kids, it's kinda natural.
329
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:03,719
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't
wanna get so lazy that we stop trying.
330
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:06,021
Me neither.
331
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:08,457
Do you remember when
I asked you to marry me?
332
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:11,682
I was so nervous, my hands
were as sweaty as toilets.
333
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,568
Why were you nervous?
334
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:22,538
I was afraid you'd say no and I'd have
to spend the rest of my life without you.
335
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,495
I knew I couldn't
return that ring.
336
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,145
You still make me laugh.
337
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:32,836
That's good. It's the best
15 years I've ever had.
338
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:43,626
Got a little gift for
you. Stay right there.
339
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,783
Oh...
340
00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:50,466
You still have some charm left.
341
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,756
I still have some
tricks up my sleeve.
342
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,849
Whoa!
343
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,274
Bond. James Bond.
344
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:17,615
(♪ "The Way You Look Tonight")
345
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,900
I wish that I had a beautiful
gown on underneath my robe.
346
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:27,803
What do you have on
under there? Nothing.
347
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,193
Ohh-ho.
348
00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:33,464
That's better than any gown.
349
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:02,504
Are Mom and Dad up yet?
No. And quit bugging us!
350
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:05,107
It's late. When are
they gonna get up?
351
00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:06,908
Don't you know anything?
352
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,944
Whenever Mom
and Dad have a fight,
353
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:12,737
Dad apologizes, and then, the
next morning, they sleep late.
354
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,553
I don't think they're sleeping.
355
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:21,390
You don't? Why not?
356
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:25,048
Because I heard them jumping
up and down on their bed.
357
00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:28,897
Oh... Well, you know,
358
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:32,923
they're probably just having one
of their, um... somersault contests.
359
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:37,828
Yeah. It's a lot
like the Olympics.
360
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:42,099
Sounds like fun. Why
don't they ask us to play?
361
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:48,306
Trust me, Mark.
You don't wanna play.
362
00:21:51,678 --> 00:21:54,055
Oh. Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
363
00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:58,093
Hi, sweetie. What a great day.
364
00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:00,651
Yeah, what a great day. Yeah.
365
00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:04,422
Brad and Randy told me
what you were doing upstairs.
366
00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:10,606
They did?
367
00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:15,265
Yeah. Having one of those
somersault contests. Who won?
368
00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:19,437
Your mom won. She always wins.
369
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:28,557
You did win, didn't you? Twice.
370
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:30,047
(grunts)
371
00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:36,821
Does everybody
know what time it is?
372
00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:43,361
OK, there's a little thing we
do here. We yell "Tool Time."
373
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:47,309
It sounds like you've
given this a lot of thought.
374
00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:49,244
Well, we had
three... three babies...
375
00:22:49,268 --> 00:22:51,769
When the boys were
babies, and I... You know...
376
00:22:54,173 --> 00:22:56,440
Men are actually
a lot like babies.
376
00:22:57,305 --> 00:23:57,534
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