1
00:00:08,075 --> 00:00:10,753
Oh, you guys are doing so great.
2
00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:13,390
This is gonna raise a lot
of money for the library.
3
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:16,994
I hate to break this to you, Mom, but you
forgot to put the date on the invitations.
4
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:20,330
It's not supposed to have a
date. It's a "no dinner" dinner.
5
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,698
What's that?
6
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:24,701
It's a dinner party with
no dinner and no party.
7
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:29,239
Sounds great, Mom. Put
me down for five "no tickets."
8
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,241
I know it sounds
a little confusing,
9
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:34,044
but this way, the library doesn't
have to buy food or rent a hall.
10
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:36,480
They get to keep all
the money they raise.
11
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:39,649
Then why do you send an invitation?
Why don't you just ask for money?
12
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:42,185
'Cause it's fun. You
know, people get into it.
13
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:47,090
Cool. Tonight, I think I'll throw myself
a "no homework" homework party.
14
00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:49,893
Yeah, right.
15
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,628
Morning, everybody. Morning.
16
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:54,297
Big day today. We're
doing a huge Tool Time.
17
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:55,665
What's it about, Dad?
18
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,235
We're building a man's kitchen.
19
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:02,939
What's that, a kitchen where
you stand over the sink to eat?
20
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,774
No, a man's kitchen.
21
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,677
You can cook a cow,
braise a buffalo, grill a grizzly.
22
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,946
(grunts)
23
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:11,314
You can eat grizzly?
24
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:13,083
Yeah, sure.
25
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:14,440
Tastes like chicken.
26
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:20,479
And with the leftovers, you can make
a peanut butter and grizzly sandwich.
27
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,283
(grizzly-like roar)
28
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:32,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
29
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:36,455
What do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
30
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:42,572
The Binford 6100
31
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:45,509
is available at fine
hardware stores everywhere.
32
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,511
Remember, if your
drill says "Binford,"
33
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:48,745
get outta the house!
34
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,069
Tools aren't
supposed to talk to you!
35
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,691
Now the moment we've
all been waiting for -
36
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:04,461
the introduction of the
man's kitchen. A guy's galley.
37
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:07,030
I am man, hear me roast.
38
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:08,865
(grunts)
39
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:11,368
Well, Tim, what do you say
we start her up? That's right.
40
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,625
The only kitchen I know
that has an ignition system.
41
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:18,297
(motor turns over)
42
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,712
Come on, come on.
43
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:26,096
Maybe we should get jumper
cables, hook it up to another kitchen.
44
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:32,589
I think I got it. (motor starts)
45
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,924
Listen to that baby purr.
46
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:38,717
Let's step inside, take a
tour of the man's kitchen.
47
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:50,840
(grunts)
48
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:54,544
Well, we start first
here at men's fine china.
49
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,247
That's right.
50
00:03:57,271 --> 00:04:00,049
16-ply steel-belted
paper plates.
51
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,051
These plates are available
52
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:05,522
in standard black
and white walls.
53
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:08,747
Now we move on to the most
important part of the meal - vegetables.
54
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,998
For most men, there's only
two kinds of vegetables -
55
00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:19,336
your beans and your potatoes.
56
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,594
I had my beans
yesterday. I know.
57
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,577
Now, potatoes...
mmm, hard to cook,
58
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,113
'cause when a guy wants
to eat, a guy wants to eat.
59
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,115
He can't wait for endless
seconds on a microwave.
60
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:34,619
That's why we've got
the Binford macrowave.
61
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:39,989
Three convenient
power settings -
62
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:43,649
"high,""really high" and
"split your own atoms."
63
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,931
Now, Tim, won't this put
out a little too much radiation?
64
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,167
Mm, that's a
good safety tip, Al.
65
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:53,591
That's why we're
equipped with these.
66
00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:58,764
Lead vests.
67
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:06,182
Also useful in case Superman wants
to take a peek at your underwear.
68
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:09,608
No problem there.
I'm not wearing any.
69
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:21,765
Don't wanna overcook a potato,
so only in there a couple of seconds.
70
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:24,122
Now don't look
directly at the potato.
71
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:32,163
(ding)
72
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:46,456
Once they stop glowing,
they're probably ready to eat.
73
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,179
Grab the potatoes. All right.
74
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,885
Hot potato! Hot potato!
75
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,469
Here we have our
beverage center.
76
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:02,894
We got beer, got root
beer, Pepto-Bismol.
77
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:07,510
But now we get to
that main course.
78
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,447
Ooh, yeah. The main course
in every man's meal is what?
79
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,781
That would be meat.
80
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:12,816
The redder...
81
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,851
(both) The better.
82
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,687
The man's refrigerator -
stainless-steel doors, big cubic inches.
83
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,657
What does every man dream
about having in a refrigerator?
84
00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:23,281
That's simple, Tim. A butcher.
85
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:28,898
Benny, how are you doing?
86
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:32,201
Hey, Tim. Hi, Al.
What will it be today?
87
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:35,905
I don't know. I got a hankering
for a thick porterhouse.
88
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,396
Good choice.
89
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:44,447
I'll take the petite
filet mignon.
90
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,070
Takes all kinds.
91
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:51,576
Here you go. Good-looking
meat. Thanks a lot. Stay cool.
92
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,580
All right, we flip
them on our grill.
93
00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:01,453
Now, you don't wanna overcook
'em. You just want 'em flame-kissed.
94
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:13,643
Ding! They're done. All right.
95
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:17,502
(moos) Still moving, Al.
96
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,788
Now we're ready to
put on our seasoning.
97
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:28,257
Right. We got hot sauce,
steak sauce, barbecue sauce.
98
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,059
What's your pick?
99
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:32,094
Not one of those. I'd
like just a pinch of salt.
100
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,985
You got it, friend.
101
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,238
(coughing
102
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:45,182
Well, I seem to have messed up
your dinner. Let's get rid of those plates.
103
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:50,947
Right down to the
recycling center.
104
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:54,317
Now, we've cleaned the dishes.
What about all the mess in the kitchen?
105
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:57,119
The grease, the appliances, the
floor, the walls? What do we do now?
106
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,622
Tim, the best thing about
the Binford men's kitchen
107
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,759
is it's entirely self-cleaning.
108
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,193
It is. That's right.
109
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:07,396
We got the Binford
kitchen-washing system here.
110
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:10,700
You step out of the kitchen,
shut your waterproof doors...
111
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:15,538
(♪ fanfare)
112
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:19,230
Klaus, can we cut the...?
What is this, a Renaissance fair?
113
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:24,146
You add your detergent
pellets early in the week,
114
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,617
then you put it on heavy
wash, spin dry, energy saver.
115
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,007
Start your wash.
116
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:33,990
In a half-hour, you
got a clean kitchen.
117
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,848
Floors, walls, the
whole thing's...
118
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:53,476
Yeah, that's a fine charity. I'm
sure that they have a lovely dinner,
119
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:58,247
but our dinner's a little
different. There is no dinner.
120
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,416
No, this is not a crank call.
121
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,052
Uh, we're having a
"no dinner" dinner.
122
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,054
It means you don't
have to get dressed up
123
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,089
and sit in a big
impersonal ballroom
124
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:10,860
and make small talk with
people you don't know.
125
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,529
You like that.
126
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:17,133
Well, um, maybe you could
just send a contribution anyway.
127
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:21,470
You know, 'cause the
library really needs... Hello?
128
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:24,908
I can't believe she
hung up on me. Hi.
129
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:27,076
Hi. What's the matter?
130
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:31,080
This "no dinner" dinner thing is not as
easy as I thought. Nobody understands it.
131
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:33,917
I can't think about it right
now. My mind's racing.
132
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:37,020
The man's kitchen went over
bigger than I ever expected.
133
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,355
You know what the end
of next week is? No, what?
134
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,558
It's the fifth anniversary
of Tool Time.
135
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,560
I can't believe you
don't remember this.
136
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:46,918
Tim, when is our anniversary?
137
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,837
February.
138
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:56,494
February what?
139
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:58,997
Middle.
140
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:02,946
You are so pathetic.
141
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,058
Listen to me. This
anniversary show is huge.
142
00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:07,050
It's gotta be bigger
than a kitchen show.
143
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:09,552
I gotta think of something that
will knock the audience's socks off.
144
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:13,255
Why don't you show highlights
from some of your best shows?
145
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:17,326
As good as those would be, you can't
just show clips for an anniversary show.
146
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,361
You've gotta think big. Help me.
147
00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:21,664
OK, how about this? All right.
148
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:24,166
You take the whole crew
to Arizona. I'm with you.
149
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,235
Drive to the Grand Canyon. Yeah.
150
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:30,194
Fill the whole
thing in with putty.
151
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:37,636
That's ridiculous. Putty.
152
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:45,454
Al. Al!
153
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,424
I've got a great idea for our
Tool Time anniversary show.
154
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,459
I've been thinking
about that, too.
155
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:54,363
It should be something simple,
tasteful and totally tool-oriented.
156
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:58,901
How about taking the whole
crew down to Indy Speedway?
157
00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:01,037
I like it. Yeah!
158
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:04,206
There's more. I'll challenge Michael
and Mario Andretti to race with myself.
159
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,942
Great! What about me?
160
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:08,366
You can serve sandwiches
and wash the cars and stuff.
161
00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:12,214
President Davidson. Hi, guys.
162
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:13,482
Nice to see you.
163
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:16,552
Nice to see you, Al.
164
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:19,255
Tim, Tim, Tim.
165
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,958
What, what, what?
166
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:24,326
I'm sitting in Binford
headquarters the other day,
167
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:28,064
I turn on the show that we
sponsor, and what do I see?
168
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:31,167
The glare of your head
reflecting off the screen?
169
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:34,737
No, Tim. I see a kitchen
170
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:37,273
that has sucked up your
budget for the next six months,
171
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:43,179
although I do appreciate your using
my brother-in-law as the butcher.
172
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,982
These figures are off. Did you see
the ratings? They went through the roof.
173
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:48,651
It doesn't justify what you
spent. We talked about this.
174
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,787
You promised you were
gonna start cutting back.
175
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:53,389
I did cut back. You know
those... those lead vests?
176
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:56,380
Al's was only lead-plated.
177
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,699
Excuse me. I have
to see a doctor now.
178
00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:05,401
It was a joke. A
joke, a joke, a joke.
179
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,136
Well, I'm not joking, Tim.
180
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,605
From now on, you don't
spend a cent unless I OK it.
181
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,440
All right. We'll start after
the anniversary show.
182
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,576
Wait. What have you
got planned for that?
183
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,044
Well, we're going
to Indianapolis.
184
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,146
Aah...
185
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,410
Really?
186
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:23,441
Well, two words
come to mind. Uh-uh.
187
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:29,058
No, no. Look, let me just-just
try to explain this to you again.
188
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,549
This is a "no dinner" dinner.
189
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:38,567
It doesn't matter what you wear.
There is no place to wear it to.
190
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:42,438
No, no, there's no point in ordering a
vegetarian plate. There's no food. No food.
191
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:45,429
Look, just send me a
check, OK? Goodbye.
192
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:55,351
Jill. Jill. Guess what
happened when Davidson saw...
193
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,519
You will not believe what I'm
going through with this fund-raiser.
194
00:12:57,543 --> 00:13:00,123
You think it's hard to
sell tickets to a dinner?
195
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,725
Try selling tickets to
a "no dinner" dinner.
196
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:06,963
He cut the budget on the show. I am
sick and tired of asking people for money.
197
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,798
It is so degrading.
198
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:12,935
Talk about degrading. He...
People treat me like a bill collector!
199
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:16,105
You know, they have their numbers
changed just to avoid talking to me.
200
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,507
They see me at the supermarket,
there's this mad rush for the door.
201
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,277
I wanted to have
the Andrettis on...
202
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,312
You have no idea what it's like
203
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,714
to be the cause of a
multi-shopping cart collision.
204
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,850
Unfortunately, I do
know how that feels.
205
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:29,886
I did this out of the
goodness of my heart.
206
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:34,757
If I could just... I am so
tired of giving, giving, giving.
207
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:36,759
When this is all over,
I don't want anybody
208
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:38,795
to ask anything
of me ever again.
209
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:42,353
Oh, I'm so sorry. What were
you saying? How was your day?
210
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:51,307
Oh, my, my, my, I
know it must be spring
211
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:55,278
when I hear the sweet sounds
of a wire bristle on a rusty grill.
212
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,280
That's it, Wilson. What
have you got there?
213
00:13:57,304 --> 00:14:00,449
Tim, I'm about to add some
bacterial organisms to my milk.
214
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,106
Really?
215
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,622
I'm more of a chocolate
syrup kind of guy.
216
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,790
(chuckles)
217
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:10,592
No, no, no, no, Tim.
I'm making yogurt.
218
00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:13,162
The bacteria sours the milk.
219
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:16,933
You must have put some of that in
my boss' milk. He's sour all the time.
220
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,567
Tool Time troubles, Tim?
221
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,669
Our fifth anniversary
show is coming up.
222
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,172
I wanna make a big deal,
but Davidson won't pay for it.
223
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,574
I want to make a big,
spectacular gift to my audience.
224
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:28,510
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
225
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,613
You know, Tim, in ancient
China, there was once an emperor,
226
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:33,850
and every year on his birthday,
227
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:36,685
everybody in the land
would bring him a gift.
228
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:40,223
And every year, the gifts
became more and more elaborate.
229
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:42,158
I get your point.
230
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:45,561
That's very good, 'cause
I haven't made one yet.
231
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:48,331
One year, a small boy
appeared before the emperor
232
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:51,133
and told him that he
had no riches to give.
233
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:54,270
The only gift that
he had was a song.
234
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,739
You know what the emperor did?
235
00:14:56,763 --> 00:15:00,398
Got him booked on Dick
Woo's Chinese Bandstand.
236
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,347
You're not making
this easy, Tim.
237
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:06,949
Anyway, when the
emperor heard this song,
238
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:10,286
he was so moved that he
proclaimed it the greatest gift of all,
239
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:14,357
because it was a gift
that came from the heart.
240
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,292
Well, I must get
back to the yogurt.
241
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:20,196
Does everybody know what
time it is? (all) Tool Time!
242
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:23,165
That's right. Here he is
celebrating his fifth fabulous year -
243
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:26,257
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!
244
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:33,842
Thank you. Thank you,
Heidi. Thank you, everybody.
245
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:37,446
Thanks very much. That's kind of
you. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor,
246
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,716
and you know my assistant - Al
"Stand By Your Tool Man" Borland.
247
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:44,887
It's great to be here on this auspicious
occasion. Happy anniversary, Tim.
248
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:47,957
You, too, and happy anniversary
to the audience out there.
249
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:51,061
If you look under your seats, there's a
personalized gift from "The Tool Man."
250
00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:54,797
Made you look.
251
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:57,733
We've had a lot of fun
these last five years.
252
00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:01,637
A lot of it's to do with my family. They're
here today. Let's meet 'em, can we?
253
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:05,908
My lovely, beautiful and
very attractive wife Jill.
254
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:09,078
Brad, Mark and
Randy - my little boys.
255
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:12,181
Oh, and my neighbor's here
up behind them. Wilson, say hi.
256
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:15,751
Festum diem
anniversarium tibi, Tim.
257
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,186
What?
258
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,721
That means "Happy
anniversary to you" in Latin.
259
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:22,391
The Ancient Romans...
260
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,428
Not now, Wilson, not now. We've
got plenty of show to do here, buddy.
261
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,430
There's a lot of ways we could
celebrate our fifth anniversary.
262
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:30,199
Could've gone to Indy and
had some race drivers on.
263
00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:33,469
But Al and I decided to do
something more from the heart,
264
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:37,261
like the young Chinese boy
that smelled his own yogurt.
265
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:42,178
We started the show
with a very small budget.
266
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:44,780
It was just two guys
with a passion for tools.
267
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:47,738
And one guy who knew
how to use them. Yeah.
268
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:53,755
So I went to Binford's
headquarters, in the archives,
269
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:57,860
and got our first episode, and I
put together a little highlight tape.
270
00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:00,396
Ladies and gentlemen,
271
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,554
the birth of the tool show.
272
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:12,430
Does everybody
know what time it is?
273
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:20,616
(all, unenthused) Tool Time.
274
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,486
That's correct.
275
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:28,991
Binford Tools is happy to
present your host Tom Taylor.
276
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:30,814
(plays theme)
277
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,567
Uh, thank you, Mrs.
Binford. It's Tim Taylor.
278
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,269
All right.
279
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:43,305
Well, welcome, audience,
280
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:46,708
to the premiere
episode of Tool Time.
281
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:49,445
It's a show that celebrates
men and their tools.
282
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,613
Before we get to
our project today,
283
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:55,184
I'd like to bring out an
assistant that we hired for me.
284
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:58,921
We auditioned contractors all through the
Detroit area, a lot of professional men,
285
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:03,381
and this is the guy that would
work for the money we offered.
286
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,962
So, let's bring him out.
287
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:09,798
A contractor, a master plumber
and a Pisces - Albert Borland.
288
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:11,255
Come on out, Albert.
289
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:21,566
Good to have you here.
290
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:25,570
Hi.
291
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:32,221
OK. It's nice to have you here.
292
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:35,558
I'm Al Borland, and I'm pleased
to make your acquaintance.
293
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,226
I'm also very honored
294
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,562
to be part of your
tool education.
295
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:43,566
It's over here, though. You
would look into this camera. Um...
296
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:46,535
My wife suggested I cut the
beard for the look, but I think it fits...
297
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:49,938
Oh, no, no. I like
a man in a beard.
298
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,440
Whoa, big fella.
299
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,842
Speaking of big fella,
300
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:57,446
who's that big guy you
were talking with backstage?
301
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,582
That was my mother.
302
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:01,584
OK. Before we get started,
303
00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:04,509
the first thing we're gonna learn
today is how to drive a stake.
304
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,698
I don't understand. Aren't we
talking about wooden stakes?
305
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:18,967
Albert... can I call you Al?
306
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,270
OK.
307
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:24,562
This is supposed to be a
joke. Guy driving a steak.
308
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:30,834
Ah...
309
00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:36,185
We've leveled our dirt.
We got some form up.
310
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,487
Al, you guide us
the rest of the way.
311
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,022
We've done about everything
312
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,657
until we pour the concrete,
313
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,426
so all we need to do now is
set the stakes, close in the form.
314
00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:45,227
Exactly!
315
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:46,395
We need a sledgehammer for that.
316
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:47,985
Mrs. Binford...
317
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,201
There you go, Tom.
318
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:54,692
Thank you, Mrs.
Been-In-The-Sauce.
319
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,411
Al, will you hold the
stake while I drive her in?
320
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:07,505
I'd be pleased to, Tim. With an expert
like Tim, I know I'm in good hands.
321
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:11,909
I think we've had
about enough of that.
322
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:16,659
Anyway, I hope you
enjoyed our first episode.
323
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,760
Not so fast.
324
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:21,430
Jill and I have a
surprise for you. What?
325
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:25,000
We knew you were disappointed when
we couldn't do the show live from Indy.
326
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:28,571
So we brought a little bit of
Indy to you. What'd you do?
327
00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:31,862
Ladies and gentlemen, Michael
Andretti and Johnny Rutherford.
328
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,077
Hey, hey!
329
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,401
Hey.
330
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:42,172
Great stuff.
331
00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:47,756
Ah...
332
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:48,780
Put 'er there.
333
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,896
Al, honey, this is... Oh, boy.
334
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,932
Well, um, our guests.
335
00:20:56,956 --> 00:21:00,536
Michael Andretti, you've come
from Formula One to race Indy cars.
336
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,571
With the Chip
Ganassi team, right?
337
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:07,576
And Johnny Rutherford - three-time
Indy winner. This is just too great.
338
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,678
Your dad didn't show
up - Mario. Where's he?
339
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:14,004
Dad couldn't come. He's racing his racecar,
but I brought somebody just as old.
340
00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:20,922
I believe I beat you
here from the airport, kid.
341
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:24,526
That's 'cause I used
Tim's directions.
342
00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:27,162
Guys, guys. We're
not on a dirt track here.
343
00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:30,499
Come on, let's enjoy ourselves.
Who talked you into doing this?
344
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:34,035
Well, your wife can be a
pretty persuasive woman.
345
00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:38,028
Yeah. She even talked
us into a "no dinner" dinner.
346
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:43,279
Hope there's chicken.
347
00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:46,737
We'll talk with the drivers
after this message from Binford.
348
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:03,465
That's amazing.
349
00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:06,302
I had no idea you could do that
in an Indy car. That's unbelievable.
350
00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:10,172
I gotta thank Michael Andretti and
Johnny Rutherford for being on the show.
351
00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:13,564
How about a round of
applause for the boys here?
352
00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:17,145
Yeah.
353
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:20,449
Along with our guests, Al
and I wanna thank the people
354
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,451
really responsible
for Tool Time.
355
00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:24,783
I wanna get everybody
out here. All the grips,
356
00:22:24,807 --> 00:22:27,088
the prop people,
costumes, lights, everybody.
357
00:22:27,112 --> 00:22:29,792
Come on, everybody
out here. Everybody!
358
00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:32,294
Everybody here on Tool Time.
359
00:22:32,318 --> 00:22:34,262
Wait a minute.
360
00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:35,331
Hey, cameramen, too.
361
00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:36,231
You guys gotta get out here.
362
00:22:36,255 --> 00:22:38,266
Come on, everybody. Come on.
363
00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:40,290
Uh-oh. Bad idea.
364
00:22:42,495 --> 00:22:44,127
(Tim) Come on out, Albert.
365
00:22:50,737 --> 00:22:52,314
Golly, gosh, darn it,
366
00:22:52,338 --> 00:22:54,316
we've had some fun,
haven't we, over the years?
367
00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:56,352
And a lot of it's to
do with my family.
368
00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:58,787
I wanna spin over here
and introduce my family here.
369
00:22:58,811 --> 00:23:01,379
My beautiful, talented,
brilliant wife Pat.
369
00:23:02,305 --> 00:24:02,560
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