1
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:09,708
Oh, man, I can't believe
it. What's the matter?
2
00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:12,990
I still haven't reached my
fundraising goal for the library.
3
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:16,215
Where am I gonna get
another thousand dollars?
4
00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:20,719
Well, you could pay the fine on that
library book I've had out for seven years.
5
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:24,256
I'm almost done with it.
6
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:27,326
If I could just reach
this fundraising goal
7
00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:29,139
I'd be out of the
fundraising business forever.
8
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:33,032
No more kissing up to
people, planning stupid events.
9
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,978
I'd be a whole different person.
10
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:38,337
Forget the book, I got
the grand right here.
11
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:40,683
What's that supposed to mean?
12
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,674
Honey, snookums.
13
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:45,310
Loverbuns, come on.
14
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,979
This fundraising doesn't
actually bring out the best in you.
15
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,882
You've been almost as unbearable
as you were during childbirth.
16
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,452
I'd like to see how pleasant
you'd be giving birth.
17
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:55,687
Hey. I'd be huge giving birth.
18
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:57,901
Cracking jokes,
doing impressions.
19
00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:01,460
"Look, sumo man.
Look at me, look at me."
20
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:04,829
I would cut the umbilical cord
with Binford 6100 hedge clippers.
21
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,032
(chopping sounds)
22
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:11,836
Great way for baby to begin life, seeing
you coming at him with hedge clippers.
23
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:15,140
Hey, come on, help me out.
Where am I gonna get this money?
24
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:18,110
Have a bake sale. Get
your cupcakes to everybody.
25
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:21,980
Once the nausea sets
in, just grab their wallet.
26
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:24,683
How do you think I
got the last thousand?
27
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,252
Know how they have those
studly celebrity auctions?
28
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:28,898
We could do that on Tool Time.
29
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,689
Sure.
30
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,670
People would pay a lot of money to have
a handsome tool guy stop by and fix stuff.
31
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,128
Do you think Al would do that?
32
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,743
You auction me off, you raise all
the money you need for the library,
33
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:44,002
have money left over for a
turbocharged four-wheel drive bookmobile.
34
00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:47,406
Why would the library need
a turbocharged bookmobile?
35
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:49,774
Speed reading courses.
36
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:57,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-
37
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,768
What do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
38
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,991
Welcome to Tool Time. I'm
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor,
39
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,394
and you all know my
assistant, Al Borland.
40
00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,462
(applause)
41
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:21,300
Well, today's your chance
42
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:24,203
to take home TV's top
tool man for an entire day.
43
00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:26,305
That's right.
44
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:30,642
One lucky bidder will be
able to take home... me.
45
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:35,280
I should mention that it's
for a very worthy cause.
46
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:39,084
Let's bring out our guest auctioneer
with a big round of applause.
47
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:43,855
This woman's enjoyed my tool
expertise for the last 15 years.
48
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,858
Big warm Tool Time welcome
for Jill "The Tool Wife" Taylor!
49
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,361
Honey, come on.
50
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:59,003
Thank you. I should mention that all
the proceeds from the auction today
51
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,773
go to the Detroit
Public Library.
52
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,508
Should we start
the bidding? Yeah.
53
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:04,887
Actually, before
you start the bidding,
54
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,212
I have a surprise
entry for the auction.
55
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:10,949
Surprise? Yes. I think it'll
bring in quite a tidy sum.
56
00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:14,386
Let's have a warm welcome for the
tool man that needs no introduction.
57
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:18,123
The grand master
of tools, Mr. Bob Vila.
58
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:39,144
Bob Vila! This is so
exciting. I'm bursting.
59
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,747
Hi, Tim. Hey, Bob.
Welcome to Tool Time.
60
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,815
This is Tim's lovely wife, Jill.
61
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:47,218
Hello. Nice to meet you. It's a
thrill. Likewise. It's a pleasure.
62
00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:49,198
Bob, what brings you to Detroit?
63
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:52,824
I just showed my hot rod at the
custom car show over at Cobo Hall.
64
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,572
You built a hot rod? Actually,
I had it built by some experts.
65
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:58,630
I built my own.
66
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,019
That's nice, Tim. But
mine actually runs.
67
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,406
Could we...?
68
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,643
Tool show? Cable
television? Sorry.
69
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:15,847
Right. Why don't we start our auction off
by bidding on our good friend Bob Vila?
70
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:18,450
Step up here, Bob. OK.
71
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:22,887
Please bear with my wife, this is the
first time she's ever been an auctioneer.
72
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,628
I'm gonna open the bidding
at one hundred dollars.
73
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:30,929
One hundred dollars.
74
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:35,300
I got a hundred, do I hear
a hundred and a quarter?
75
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:38,415
Two hundred. Two hundred
from the lady in the denim.
76
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,317
Do I hear three
hundred, three hundred?
77
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:43,942
Talk to me, talk to me,
swing, batter, swing.
78
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,277
Come on, people. Stop
sitting on your hands.
79
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:48,947
This is big Bob Vila,
the man who's the reason
80
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,249
why men like my
husband have a job.
81
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:57,233
Seven hundred.
Woohoo! Seven hundred!
82
00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:59,436
Seven hundred, seven
hundred, seven hundred,
83
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,705
going once, going twice...
84
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:05,409
Sold for seven hundred smackeroonies
to the man with the wonderful smile.
85
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:07,906
Hope you're very
happy with your tool man.
86
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:16,140
I'm telling you, seven
hundred dollars...
87
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:19,811
Seven hundred dollars is a
lot of money, but he is worth it.
88
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:25,283
Petty cash. Wait till you see
what I go for. Sit down, Bob.
89
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,564
All right, ladies and germs,
90
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:31,122
you now have the chance to
bid on the toast of Tool Time,
91
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,692
the host of Tool Time,
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
92
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:36,072
I'll open the bidding
at one hundred dollars.
93
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:39,731
A hundred, a hundred,
a hundred... A hundred.
94
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:44,202
A hundred dollars! Do I hear two
hundred dollars, two hundred, two hundred?
95
00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:47,831
Just remember this man will do to
your house what he does here every day.
96
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:50,715
Maybe we should auction off
some homeowners' insurance first.
97
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,492
Come on, people, I
got a hundred dollars.
98
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:59,217
Do I hear one-fifty,
one-fifty, one-fifty?
99
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:07,665
Guy in the back. Two hundred,
he says. I didn't see a hand.
100
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:10,194
He's got gloves on. OK,
we have two hundred.
101
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,264
Do I hear three hundred?
Somebody give me three hundred.
102
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,767
Anybody give me three
hundred, anybody, anybody.
103
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:20,071
Nobody.
104
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,307
All right. I bid three
hundred dollars.
105
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,086
You can't bid,
you're the auctioneer.
106
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,612
It's my auction and
I'll bid if I want to.
107
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:31,316
Three hundred dollars.
Going once, going twice.
108
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,952
Going home with me
for three hundred dollars.
109
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:37,522
Wait, you put the gavel down too
fast. The guy in the back. Speak up, sir.
110
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:40,859
How can I get tickets
to Bob Vila's show?
111
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,398
Hi, guys, I'm home.
112
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,603
I said I'm home.
113
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:53,204
How'd the auction go?
114
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:56,274
Put a gavel in my
hand, I come alive.
115
00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:57,976
So, did you raise
a lot of money?
116
00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,612
We raised all of
it. It was great.
117
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:03,114
Bob Vila showed up
and the bidding went wild.
118
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,583
How'd dad do?
119
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,886
Good. Real good.
120
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:12,423
In fact, he was bought
by a very attractive woman.
121
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,927
How much did you pay for him?
122
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,999
Doesn't matter how
much I paid for him.
123
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,879
How much did Bob Vila go for?
124
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,670
It's not important.
125
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:28,439
Vila kicked his butt, huh?
126
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,977
You might say that.
127
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:35,391
Just don't say it in front of your
father. And I mean it, Randy.
128
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:36,715
Hi, guys.
129
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,488
Why you looking at me like that?
130
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,790
'Cause Bob Vila
kicked my butt again?
131
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:50,261
Well, since the ice is broken... That must
have been pretty embarrassing, huh, Dad?
132
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:54,298
Thank you, honey.
133
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,868
He brought it up.
134
00:08:56,937 --> 00:09:00,639
Boys, go wash up.
(Randy) All right.
135
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,642
So. I'm gonna cook dinner.
You want some chicken?
136
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:07,311
Nah. How about a little piece
of Vila, pounded real thin?
137
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,414
Tim, will you get over it?
138
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,227
This guy beats me
at everything I do.
139
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,852
Last year the lawnmower
race, the auction. What's next?
140
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:17,455
Look. The important thing is the
library got all the money that we needed.
141
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:20,025
I'd just like to beat
him at one thing.
142
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,972
Ice skating, skeet
shooting. Bobsledding.
143
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,129
Oh, forget that. They
probably named it after him.
144
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:30,501
Thank you, Al. Oh,
no, thank you, Bob.
145
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,270
It was the thrill of a lifetime.
146
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:35,540
What'd you guys do?
Go to Beards R Us?
147
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:39,243
No. Bob took me for a
ride in his new hot rod.
148
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,845
It's unbelievable.
149
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:44,749
He has a turbocharged two-liter
engine with 370 horsepower.
150
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:47,953
And the whole body is
made out of aluminum.
151
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:53,224
Big deal. My whole hot rod
body is made out of fiberglass.
152
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:56,227
And we all know how
fast fiber makes you move.
153
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:02,500
Tim, from what I hear, your
hot rod's not even running.
154
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:04,413
Maybe you haven't
heard right, Bob.
155
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,839
I've gotta go. I've gotta have
my hot rod in Grosse Point at ten.
156
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,475
Bob, it's 9:45. You're
never gonna make that.
157
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:14,312
Your hot rod couldn't. Mine can.
158
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:18,416
Are you suggesting your
hot rod can beat my hot rod?
159
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,685
If the brake shoe fits...
160
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:23,955
Wait a minute, wait. That's it.
Why don't we race our hot rods?
161
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:27,792
Meet me at that old airport, the
military one on I-94, tomorrow.
162
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:30,328
You're on.
163
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,964
OK.
164
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:36,668
We'll tape it for Tool Time, so the
audience can watch me kick your tailpipes
165
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,837
right back to That Old House.
166
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:42,040
Tim, the show I do now
is called Home Again.
167
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:46,077
OK, Bob. Kick your tailpipes
Home Again. We'll see about that.
168
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:54,786
All right. Now we just gotta
check the oil. How's it look?
169
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:57,989
It's hard to see.
That's 'cause it's clean.
170
00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:00,547
That oil's so clean,
you add a little oregano
171
00:11:00,571 --> 00:11:02,694
and vinegar, you
got a salad dressing.
172
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:05,830
Dad, after we get it
started, can we go for a ride?
173
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:09,768
No, we got a few more adjustments
on the carbs to make, then timing again.
174
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:12,476
But we can start it. Who
wants to do it? (both) I do.
175
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,305
Too bad. My car.
176
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:20,745
(clicking)
177
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:26,350
Good work, Dad.
178
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:29,220
It's so quiet, you can't
even tell it's running.
179
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:34,893
It's the solenoid, I think.
180
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:36,706
Hey, guys. How's it going?
181
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,529
Dad's taking a
ride in the hot rod.
182
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:41,700
Hey, Dad, slow
down! Let Mom get in!
183
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,871
I'm telling you,
please pipe down.
184
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,007
Uh-oh, there's
someone on your tail.
185
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:52,276
Is it Bob Vila? No, it's
a little kid on a tricycle.
186
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:57,749
Would you shut up? Come on, Tim.
187
00:11:57,818 --> 00:12:01,197
He's knocking my car, all
right? Hey, boys, go on up to bed.
188
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,555
All right. If you get it
started, wake me up. Me too.
189
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,290
It's ten o'clock.
190
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:10,028
He's not gonna go driving
around in the middle of the night.
191
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:13,331
He's not, is he? If he
can get it started, he is.
192
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,702
(clicking)
193
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:20,404
Damn!
194
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:23,219
Is it my imagination, or are
you a bit on edge tonight?
195
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,444
How would you feel if
your solenoid was stuck?
196
00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:30,849
First I'd cry, and then I'd want
to know what a solenoid is.
197
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,284
It makes the car start.
Everybody knows that, Jill.
198
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,820
Oh, come on, Tim.
199
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:39,891
'Cause you can't get the car started is
no reason to jump all over me, or Randy.
200
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,161
I'm sorry, honey, but I'm in a race
tomorrow and the car won't start.
201
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:46,197
Why not call Bob and ask him
if you can race him on Sunday?
202
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,167
I told him the car was
running. Why did you do that?
203
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:55,106
I don't know. Why does sauerkraut
go through me like a laser beam?
204
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,909
I need to get a new solenoid.
205
00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:01,612
I've got to find an auto parts
store that's open 24 hours.
206
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:04,282
Well, what can I do to help?
207
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,561
Get a hammer... Yeah?
208
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,130
And four big nails. Yeah?
209
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,687
Go to Bob's hotel and
puncture all his tires.
210
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,429
Got it, I got the...
All right, starter's on.
211
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,965
Now, if you just hold it up.
212
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,902
Will do.
213
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,015
Tim, hand me that
nine-16ths socket.
214
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,973
Really appreciate your
coming over so late to help.
215
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:32,882
No problem, Tim. I was
already up feeding my bats.
216
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:37,048
Here you go. Thank
you, neighbor Tim.
217
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:40,885
A few turns of this ratchet, and
we'll have this starter problem fixed.
218
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:43,621
Wilson, I don't know
how I got into this mess.
219
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:47,091
It's taken me three years, three
years, to get this rod perfect.
220
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,829
Since I challenged Vila, I gotta
race it and it's not even broken in yet.
221
00:13:50,897 --> 00:13:54,132
Well, sounds like you didn't
think before you challenged him.
222
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:56,767
How would you like it if
you were in an auction
223
00:13:56,837 --> 00:14:01,172
and some other neighbor behind a
fence made 400 more dollars than you?
224
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,481
Well, Tim, I'd be hi-de-hurt.
225
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,578
That's how I felt.
226
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:10,348
I started doubting myself
you know? I felt worthless.
227
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:14,285
Well, Tim, it's been said that
when a foot compares itself to a yard
228
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,187
it always comes up short.
229
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,760
So you're saying that
Vila's the yard, and
230
00:14:23,784 --> 00:14:26,130
I'm the foot, and he's
better than me, right?
231
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,901
Well, only if you perceive
him as being better.
232
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,970
OK.
233
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:38,843
A philosopher once said, "If you
place a small value on yourself,
234
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:42,446
rest assured the world
will not raise your price."
235
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:45,483
But if I believe in
myself I could win this.
236
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:49,254
No, no, no, Tim. If you believe
in yourself you've already won.
237
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,768
The moment we've
all been waiting for.
238
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,838
The moment when you drag us
out of bed at 5:30 in the morning?
239
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:59,030
No. I unveil the hot
rod, we take a little spin.
240
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,709
All right. Let's do it.
241
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:04,102
I want to thank a few
people first, if I could, OK?
242
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,615
All right. Bradley, I want
to thank you most of all,
243
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:09,352
'cause you spent more time on
the hot rod with me than anybody.
244
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:12,277
So if something goes wrong
tomorrow, I'm blaming you.
245
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,547
That sounds fair.
246
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:20,518
Mark, thanks for all
your help. Thank you.
247
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,852
And Randy, what can I say?
248
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:24,188
You're definitely
one of my sons.
249
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:29,027
Thanks, Dad.
250
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,407
Honey, I thank you the most
because you didn't get jealous,
251
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,542
even though I spent more time
with the hot rod than with you.
252
00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:37,079
Oh, I didn't mind that. I just didn't
like it when you got us mixed up
253
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:40,171
and tried to rotate my legs.
254
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:43,741
You get better mileage now.
255
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:47,511
All right, everybody
stand back. Hello!
256
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,181
Honey, it looks so beautiful.
257
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,660
All right, hop in.
Let's go for a ride.
258
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:54,319
Wait. We're in our pajamas here.
259
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:55,965
All right. Go get
some coats, come on.
260
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:59,324
Move, move, we're not
gonna wait forever. Come on!
261
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,962
What are you waiting
for? Something to explode?
262
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,898
No.
263
00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:10,068
You don't want to
go for a ride, do you?
264
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,603
I want to go for a ride.
265
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:15,974
I just want to tell you
that your car looks great.
266
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:17,408
And?
267
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:21,112
And that I think you can
beat Bob Vila tomorrow.
268
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:24,815
Really? I sure hope so.
269
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,951
A great philosopher said once,
270
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:33,424
"If your feet are short, and
you don't raise your prices,
271
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,927
you're destined for yard sales."
272
00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:47,972
Anyway, my money's on you.
273
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:52,210
I mean, you got a 350 V8 and
500 pounds of torque in this puppy.
274
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:55,046
Uh?
275
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:56,814
Randy, you're starting
to sound like me.
276
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,561
(deep voice) Oh, no, don't
want that. Yeah, you do.
277
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:02,286
Oh, I don't know about
that. Oh, ho, ho, yeah...
278
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,423
I'm getting in the shotgun seat.
Mark, you get up here with me.
279
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:08,904
Watch the paint when you step
there. Randy, here's a jacket for you.
280
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,374
Seatbelts, everybody. All right?
281
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:12,463
Wow!
282
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,732
Come on in. Put
your seatbelt on here.
283
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,001
Locked in, everybody? Almost.
284
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,703
All right, Taylor
family. Drumroll for me.
285
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,281
Just start the car. All right.
286
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,309
(engine starts)
287
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:55,373
Hi, everybody. We're on location at
the airport to talk about aerodynamics.
288
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:58,709
No, we're not. We're here so Tim
can settle a grudge with Bob Vila.
289
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,889
In an aerodynamical sort of way.
290
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:04,748
Welcome to Tool Time's
first annual quarter-mile drags.
291
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:08,652
Speaking of a drag, you all
know my assistant Al Borland.
292
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:11,789
Our drivers today are
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor,
293
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:16,094
and he will be driving
a 1933 Ford roadster.
294
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:19,063
And driving one of the
premier coupes of our time,
295
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:23,033
is one of the premier tool
men of our time, Bob Vila.
296
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:25,147
I'll wait for you
at the finish line.
297
00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:27,171
I'll be there with your
second-place trophy.
298
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,007
I doubt that. Good luck, guys.
299
00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:32,510
I don't need luck, I just
need my car to start.
300
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:35,713
Heidi, my helmet,
please. Here you go, Tim.
301
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,615
Thank you. You're welcome.
302
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:42,520
(engine starts)
303
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:20,224
Go, Tim! Gee, he's
really keeping up with him.
304
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:40,244
Honey, you OK? Sure.
305
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:42,446
Don't just stand
there, grab a rag.
306
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,750
You seem to be taking this
loss to Bob Vila pretty well.
307
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:49,654
Maybe I don't think it's a loss.
308
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:52,356
I like it when you're deluded.
You're much easier to deal with.
309
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,328
I'm just saying I think
I could have beat him.
310
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,397
How do you mean that?
311
00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:03,967
We were neck and neck. If I'd pushed it to
the redline, I could've gone right by him.
312
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,837
Why didn't you? Well,
honey, it's a new motor.
313
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:09,773
I didn't break it in. I didn't
want to risk blowing the thing up.
314
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,921
Are you saying you let him win?
315
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,412
I'm saying Bob
bought his hot rod.
316
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,814
I put three years into
this, I built this thing.
317
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:19,617
I'm not gonna risk wrecking
it over some stupid race.
318
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,854
I'm real proud of you.
319
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:25,089
Well, you know what they say.
320
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:28,125
"Spare the rod,
to heck with Bob."
321
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:38,202
You are getting very
mature in your old age.
322
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:41,772
Ah, you can't stay
young forever, honey.
323
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:44,041
Hey. What do you say...
324
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:47,678
We pop ourselves into the rumble
seat and make out like we used to?
325
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,080
Cool.
326
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:52,316
Let's see here.
327
00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:54,785
All right.
328
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:57,087
Wait a minute. I
gotta spit out my gum.
329
00:22:41,427 --> 00:22:44,528
You are getting very
mature in your old age.
330
00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:48,466
Ah, you can't stay young
forever, honey. That's true.
331
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:52,436
Hey, what do you say
we hop ourselves into the...
331
00:22:53,305 --> 00:23:53,215
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