1
00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:04,247
Welcome back to Bachelor
Week right here on Tool Time.
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00:00:04,271 --> 00:00:07,484
If you remember, yesterday Tim
showed us how to shave in the car
3
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,441
when you're running behind.
4
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:15,825
Today, it's Al's turn,
5
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,927
with a look at the
rough-and-tumble world of...
6
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:19,463
Ironing.
7
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:22,099
Now, ironing used to be a
woman's domain. But not these days.
8
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,234
Because they won't
do it for us anymore.
9
00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:27,504
More importantly, a man should
know how to do his own ironing.
10
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,073
Now, I think of an iron
as just another tool.
11
00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:32,242
You can even hang
it from your tool belt.
12
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:34,244
But you don't
want to plug it in,
13
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:37,614
'cause there are certain
things you don't want ironed.
14
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:41,118
Historically, men have
been ironing for ages.
15
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:44,521
The first irons were
made of iron heated by fire.
16
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,990
This iron here was
developed to be heated by coal.
17
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:48,658
Then came the nine irons,
18
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:51,261
your tire irons,
19
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:53,863
and my personal
favorite, your Jeremy Irons.
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00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,454
He's so wonderful.
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00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:59,202
All right. Let's get
to ironing technique.
22
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,970
I like to start with the sleeve
23
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:02,639
and move on to
the body of the shirt.
24
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,307
Marv, if you want
to come in here.
25
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:07,744
I also like to start with a light
spray from my mist button.
26
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,479
Let me show you
how the pros do it.
27
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:10,847
I'm talking about
the European tailors,
28
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,882
Chinese tailors,
Hong Kong tailors.
29
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,218
Tim Taylors.
30
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:18,255
We use the old
gravity-feed professional iron.
31
00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:19,878
Yeah.
32
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:26,196
1,000 watts, 120
volts, 275 degrees.
33
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:29,332
(grunts)
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00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:31,334
I like a little
starch in my shirt,
35
00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:32,936
so I'll starch her up.
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00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,772
Actually, Tim, too much
starch can irritate the skin.
37
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:38,830
Yeah. Too much
Al can irritate Tim.
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00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:43,213
If you iron like Al,
it'll take forever.
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00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,783
European way,
professional way, do it quick.
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00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:49,674
Steam going there.
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00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:57,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
42
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,754
And there you go.
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00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,723
(Brad) My life is over.
44
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:03,482
Randy, I've got a pimple.
45
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,131
I don't see anything.
46
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:11,056
It's one of those
under-the-skin ones.
47
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:15,872
It's gonna come out tomorrow.
48
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:18,897
Well, maybe we can
throw it a coming-out party.
49
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:23,946
Invite all the other pimples
in the neighborhood.
50
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,382
Randy, you don't understand.
51
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:28,451
Tomorrow night's my
date with Jessica Lutz.
52
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,253
What am I gonna do?
53
00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:34,413
Send her fries and a chocolate
bar, hope she breaks out too.
54
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:36,660
Hey, guys.
55
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,161
Hi, Dad.
56
00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:39,829
I got a pimple on my nose,
57
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,764
and I got a date
with Jessica Lutz.
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00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,633
Come on. If she's a real woman,
59
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,602
she's not gonna notice
a little zit on your nose.
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00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,837
She's a 14-year-old girl.
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00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:50,340
You're in trouble.
Big, big trouble.
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00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,209
What works for me
is a hot compress,
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00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,010
you bring the zit to
the surface, you pop it,
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00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:57,013
ding dong, the zit is dead.
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00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:59,849
Cool! Come on, Randy,
let's go soak my pimple.
66
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:03,542
Brad, I'm looking for a
hobby, but that's not it.
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00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,957
Hi, sweetie.
68
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,792
Hey, baby. Hi.
69
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:12,795
You're a little late. Mm-hmm. I
took my teacher Judith out for coffee.
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00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,631
Great move!
71
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:18,568
That'll guarantee you a C, but if
you want the A, you gotta give cash.
72
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:22,805
That's not why I'm
doing it. I really like her.
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00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,807
That's great. Anyway,
I'm doing the hot rod.
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00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:27,210
I got the dash panel up.
Wanna take a look at it?
75
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:30,980
I just hate knowing that Judith's
going home to an empty house, though.
76
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:34,139
A wonderful woman like
that should not be alone.
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00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:39,322
You know who would
be perfect for her?
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00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:40,590
Wilson.
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00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,825
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, no!
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00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,694
You keep your filthy
little mitts off Wilson
81
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,329
Admit it, I'm on a roll.
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00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:48,097
I'm the one who
set up Al and Ilene.
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00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,199
You could have set Al up
with a mop with a wig on,
84
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:53,002
he would've been happy.
85
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,837
As a matter of
fact, I think you did.
86
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:58,341
They went to Chicago. He
had a great time with her.
87
00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,842
Wilson is lonely.
88
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,611
I think he likes being alone.
89
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,613
Besides, you just
can't set Wilson up
90
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,448
with some woman off the street.
91
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,183
She's not just some
woman off the street.
92
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,286
She's faced
incredible adversity.
93
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:11,120
Her husband left her alone
94
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:14,291
with two children and no money
when she was 24 years old.
95
00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:16,025
She still managed to get a Ph.D.
96
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:19,162
Like that's hard to do.
97
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,798
What exactly is
your problem here?
98
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,800
What exactly do you
know about this woman?
99
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,302
Ph.D., a couple of kids -
100
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:26,969
what about the important things?
101
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,938
What kind of car does she drive?
102
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,775
I don't know. Some
sort of station wagon.
103
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:34,811
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
104
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,781
I dated a station wagon
once. It was a nightmare.
105
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:41,918
Tim, I'm setting her up
with Wilson, not with you.
106
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:45,555
Well, if she's lonely, have
her get her own Wilson.
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00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,557
Aha!
108
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,693
I see what's going on here.
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00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:52,529
You're afraid that if Wilson
spends time with Judith,
110
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:55,153
he's not gonna have
any time for you.
111
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:02,205
If they got married and went on a
honeymoon, who would I talk to?
112
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:05,296
It could be a very
difficult week for me.
113
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,948
Well, that's true, because
then we'd have to talk,
114
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:16,608
and that would be a
very difficult week for me.
115
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:23,560
Hey, Wilson.
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00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,629
Well, hi-ho, neighborette.
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00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:28,130
What are you doing?
118
00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:29,632
Well, I'm hanging replicas
119
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,468
of ancient clay
bells from Crete.
120
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:33,470
They're supposed to
attract friendly spirits.
121
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,638
What do you know? Here I am.
122
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:37,306
(chuckles)
123
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,141
You know, I know we're
supposed to go over
124
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:40,977
to your house for
dinner tomorrow night,
125
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,145
but I was wondering if you'd
like to come over to ours instead.
126
00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:45,047
Well, I do
appreciate the invite,
127
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:49,185
but I've already made the
koftas for my Malai Kofta curry.
128
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,820
Oh.
129
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,756
I just wanted to introduce you
130
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:55,091
to this professor
that I really like.
131
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,093
Well, I have a
cornucopia of koftas.
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00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,961
Why doesn't the good
professor come over to my place?
133
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,563
That would be great!
134
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,754
You are really gonna
like her, Wilson.
135
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:08,971
Her?
136
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:11,841
Yeah. She is incredible.
137
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:15,278
She's funny, and smart,
extremely attractive,
138
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:17,414
and extremely available.
139
00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:20,316
Jill, this wouldn't by any
chance be a setup, would it?
140
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:25,522
A setup? No. No, no,
no. Definitely not a setup.
141
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:28,357
Well, I guess it'd be OK, as
long as there's no pressure.
142
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:31,093
Absolutely none. Good.
143
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,030
Although you might wanna
wear those gray slacks
144
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,833
and that blue sweater that brings
out the color of blue in your eyes.
145
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:40,158
And you should puff up your hair,
'cause you get that hat-head thing.
146
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,298
Thanks, Dad.
147
00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:59,722
Because of your
hot compress idea,
148
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:02,725
my zit is the size of a tomato.
149
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:05,094
I knew it'd bring the
blood to the surface.
150
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:08,164
I didn't think it'd make a
permanent home there.
151
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:11,768
Little kids are gonna come up
to me and think that I'm a clown.
152
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:15,338
Come on, Brad, get over
it. They're not gonna do that.
153
00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:17,106
Just in case, maybe
you should practice
154
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:20,176
making those little
balloon animals.
155
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,611
This is a nightmare.
156
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,713
I'm going out with
Jessica in a half an hour.
157
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:27,784
OK. This problem
needs a woman's touch.
158
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:30,052
Brad?
159
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,143
Wake up to makeup.
160
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:36,359
No, no. I am not wearing makeup.
161
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:39,551
If I were you, I'd be
open to suggestions.
162
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:45,056
Rudolph.
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00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:48,872
(Wilson) Welcome, Taylors!
164
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:52,842
My, my, my, what
a lovely bromeliad.
165
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,211
(Tim) Wilson, I'm sorry
Jill roped you into this.
166
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:58,180
I did not rope him into this.
He's excited. Aren't you excited?
167
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,782
Well, actually,
I'm quite nervous.
168
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:02,585
I haven't really
dated in 20 years.
169
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:04,587
Well, I can give
you some pointers.
170
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:05,922
Oh, great.
171
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:08,257
This from the man
who, on our first date,
172
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:11,794
brought me a
bouquet of spark plugs.
173
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,796
No, really, Wilson. When
you're dating a woman,
174
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,265
they like to hear stories
that tell how sensitive you are.
175
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,934
I knocked Jill out with this one
176
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,969
where I saved a little
kitty-cat drowning in a river.
177
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,270
Remember that?
178
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,573
You said it was an old lady.
179
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:26,809
Kitty-cat, old lady. You
married me, didn't you?
180
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:30,747
Don't listen to him.
Just be yourself.
181
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:34,083
You know, tell her about all
that interesting stuff that you do.
182
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,953
Well, maybe I could tell
her of the time I was in India
183
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,622
and danced naked while
my body was pierced
184
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:42,625
by the swords of Siva.
185
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:46,763
Then again, you don't want to
reveal too much on your first date.
186
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:51,056
(gong and panpipe doorbell)
187
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:57,974
OK, I'll get it. (Wilson groans)
188
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,777
Oh, my.
189
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,078
Are you OK?
190
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:05,303
Actually, I'm experiencing
extreme diaphoresis.
191
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:10,553
I'm sweating like a pig.
192
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:13,990
Thank you. Judith,
this is my husband, Tim.
193
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,825
Hello, Judith. Nice to meet you.
194
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,493
Nice to meet you.
How's Jill at school?
195
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,161
Does she listen to
and follow directions?
196
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,831
Work and play well with others?
197
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:25,668
Yes, but she gets a little
rambunctious during nap time.
198
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:29,160
You should see
her at home. Whoa!
199
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:35,078
And this is Wilson.
200
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:37,146
Well, nice to meet you. You too.
201
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,382
Jill has told me so much
about you. It's all been great.
202
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:41,851
Well, I am flattered.
203
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,186
The only thing she didn't
tell me was your last name.
204
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,856
It's Wilson. I thought
that was your first name.
205
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,814
Wilson is my first name.
206
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:53,830
Well...
207
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:58,701
It's not that unusual. I'm
actually Tim Tim. This is Jill Jill.
208
00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:01,804
Sorry sorry.
209
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,806
Would you like some white wine?
210
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:04,974
Yes, please.
211
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,709
I'll give you a hand. Sure.
212
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:09,646
This is a very
interesting house, Wilson.
213
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:12,037
Or should I call you "Wilson"?
214
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,385
Judith, in addition to
being my professor,
215
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:19,321
mentor, friend, is also
a renowned author.
216
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:22,424
Oh, hardly renowned. My
book sold about four copies.
217
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:24,927
Two of which
were to my children.
218
00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:26,595
I wrote a book once.
219
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:29,487
How To Maintain
Your Bench Grinder.
220
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:33,002
That sold no copies.
221
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,971
Well, it was probably
more exciting than my book.
222
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:39,075
It was called The Psychophysiological
Indices of Amorous Connections...
223
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,978
Among Termites of the Southwest.
224
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:44,047
How did you know that?
225
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:48,317
Because I have
read it. It is wonderful!
226
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:50,019
I mean, it's
practically the Bible
227
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,755
for anyone interested in
the mating pattern of insects.
228
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:55,379
All two of you.
229
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,628
You see, I am quite the devotee
230
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:02,631
of what I humorously
term "insexuality."
231
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,834
(Judith laughs)
232
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,803
I can't believe you
actually read my book.
233
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,637
I've got it right
here. I'll show you.
234
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,740
We'll have to talk some
insects over dinner.
235
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:15,311
Yeah. 'Cause usually over
here we eat insects for dinner.
236
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:17,168
(Wilson) Here it is.
237
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,918
You even dog-eared the pages.
238
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:23,986
Now it's my turn
to be flattered.
239
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,576
(chuckles)
240
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,083
I gotta start a dating service.
241
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,668
♪ You made me love
you I didn't want to do it
242
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:42,438
♪ I didn't want to do it
243
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:46,175
♪ You made me want you
And all the time you knew it
244
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,811
♪ You know you really knew it
245
00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:52,314
You're darn right...
(sings) ♪ I knew it
246
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:53,315
Well, hi-ho, Tim.
247
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:54,951
Hi, there, Wilson.
248
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,386
I haven't seen much of you
in the last couple of weeks.
249
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,856
Well, I've been spending
a lot of time with Judith.
250
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:03,160
As a matter of fact, I'm
sculpting her bust right now.
251
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,199
So things are going
pretty good, huh?
252
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,801
Oh, they are incredible.
253
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:15,271
As the Japanese would say,
Judith has become my aijin.
254
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,874
I don't follow. Well, as
they'd say in Tanzania,
255
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:21,032
Judith has become
my rafiki yangu mpenzi.
256
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:26,315
In America, near Detroit,
what would they say?
257
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:29,318
They'd say I am crazy about her.
258
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,453
You know, Tim, I'd
love to stay and chat,
259
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,156
but I have to make
dinner tonight.
260
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,824
I promised Judith
something romantic.
261
00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:36,458
Like oysters? No,
I'm making haggis.
262
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,284
It's a sheep's stomach
served dumpling-style.
263
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,653
Mmm.
264
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:50,306
Hey! Hi, sweetie.
265
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,841
Great news.
266
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:55,644
Wilson is making
Judith's breasts out of clay.
267
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,979
What?
268
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,982
You were right about
them. He's crazy about her.
269
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,717
Oh, no.
270
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:06,588
What do you mean, "Oh,
no"? This is what you wanted.
271
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:08,257
I've just been
talking to Judith.
272
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,359
She's having serious
doubts about the relationship.
273
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,761
Oh, no.
274
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:17,834
Judith says that Wilson
has a problem with intimacy.
275
00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:18,968
Oh!
276
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:23,072
So he can't... Oh. Oh, God. Oh!
277
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,207
Oh!
278
00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:26,375
Well... Oh, honey!
279
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,477
I mean, I would
have never known.
280
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,813
He wouldn't talk about
something like that.
281
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,982
No wonder he's got all this...
282
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:34,750
Probably an old war
injury or something, huh?
283
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:39,455
Not that kind of intimacy! I'm
talking about emotional intimacy.
284
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:43,181
Thank God it's nothing
important. Whoo!
285
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:46,829
He doesn't share his feelings.
286
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:48,998
She's spent every day
the last two weeks with him,
287
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,766
and she doesn't know who he is.
288
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:54,337
I've spent the last 15 years with
him, and I don't know who he is.
289
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,005
It doesn't hurt
our relationship.
290
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:58,841
I think she wants something
more from the relationship.
291
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,776
She wants to go
to the next level.
292
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,446
What is it with you women
and the "next level"?
293
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,482
What's wrong with
the level we're on?
294
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:10,519
Just take the elevator and
leave us the heck alone. Hmm?
295
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,355
Every time she asks
him about himself,
296
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,190
all he does is intellectualize
297
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:15,892
or say something weird.
298
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,559
He always says something weird.
299
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,718
That's what makes
Wilson Wilson Wilson.
300
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,370
I think you should
talk to him. No, I'm not -
301
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,138
You're the only one that's got a
chance of getting through to him.
302
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:33,175
I'm supposed to go talk to that
man about emotions and intimacy?
303
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:35,411
Granted, you're not
the obvious choice.
304
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,780
But desperate times call
for desperate measures.
305
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:41,084
If he doesn't open up to
her, he is gonna lose her.
306
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:48,324
(grunting) OK, moving
to the next level.
307
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:49,491
Wilson, you home?
308
00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:51,593
I'm in the kitchen,
Tim, making my haggis.
309
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,029
Hey. (sniffs)
310
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:55,664
You know, that stuff
doesn't smell half-bad.
311
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,666
Pretty excited about
having Judith over for dinner?
312
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,001
Oh, yes, indeed.
313
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:00,970
You really like her? Oh, yes.
314
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:03,772
Oh, no. Oh.
315
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,774
Tim, is there something
you want to tell me?
316
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,444
No, there's something
Jill wants me to tell you.
317
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,912
Uh...
318
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:11,948
Judith is having a problem.
319
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,916
What kind of a
problem? Is she all right?
320
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,784
Oh, she's fine.
321
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:19,288
The problem is with you.
322
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:22,224
I don't understand.
Things were going so well.
323
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,460
We even made plans to
go to the Megalesia Festival
324
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,785
to commemorate the
end of the Punic War.
325
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:32,801
She... She says that - that...
326
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,837
She told Jill that she doesn't
even think she knows you.
327
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:37,306
That every time she
tries to get you to open up
328
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,975
you just say
something intellectual.
329
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:42,078
Oh, my, my, my. I must be
displaying the symptomatic behavior
330
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,546
of the classic male
emotional distancer,
331
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:47,350
precipitating her to
overfunction in the relationship,
332
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:50,152
therefore causing
deep-seated resentment.
333
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,888
So knock it off.
334
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:56,692
Tim, I don't take easily to
personal or emotional revelation.
335
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,494
No guy does.
Opening up emotionally
336
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:02,064
is just a horrible thing
women make us do.
337
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:05,323
Well, Tim, I'm just not
sure that I can do that.
338
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:14,877
Yes, you can.
339
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,645
Just use the word "feel" more.
340
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:20,182
You know, like, "I feel
hungry." "I feel tired."
341
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,319
"I feel big." "I feel
small." "I feel bloated."
342
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:26,889
Tim, I think that Judith
and I weren't meant to be.
343
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:30,415
To be or not to be,
that is not the question.
344
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,263
You've got to learn how
to open up to this woman,
345
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,132
otherwise you're
gonna be all by yourself
346
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,456
at that milk of
magnesia festival.
347
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:45,807
So, are you
enjoying your haggis?
348
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:48,844
It's very tender.
What's in this?
349
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:51,980
That is sheep's liver and
other assorted organs.
350
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:53,971
It's very filling.
351
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,353
These are lovely candles.
352
00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:59,488
Mm.
353
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,823
Well, thank you.
354
00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:04,893
You know, I've always found it
fascinating how a candle burns.
355
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,930
The hot flame moves
downward, thus melting the wax,
356
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:11,255
which rises through the
wick through capillary action...
357
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,858
Oh, boy, that was dull.
358
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:20,276
Wilson, I think we should talk.
359
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,111
I know what you're
gonna say, Judith.
360
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,912
I haven't been very open to you.
361
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:27,149
I don't understand why a man
who can talk brilliantly about anything
362
00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:29,807
can't tell me about the one
thing I really want to know.
363
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:35,424
Well, my family never really
talked much about personal matters.
364
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:39,750
Especially my father,
Wilson Wilson Sr.
365
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,066
What was he like?
366
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,968
He was a scientist
367
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:49,037
who didn't put too
much stock in emotions.
368
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:51,807
Must have been very difficult
to grow up with a man like that.
369
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:54,009
Mm. It was.
370
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:56,678
You know, I loved my father.
371
00:18:56,702 --> 00:19:00,882
It always hurt me when
he kept me at a distance.
372
00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:04,019
And the last thing I ever
wanted was to be like him.
373
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:05,754
But you're not.
374
00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:08,446
You believe that
feelings matter.
375
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:13,551
I know that, because I see
the way you care about mine.
376
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:22,037
You know, Judith...
377
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:27,276
I've never been open with
a woman since my wife died.
378
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,045
But I would really
like to try with you.
379
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:32,170
I'd like that too.
380
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:39,288
Well, maybe we can
talk about it tomorrow
381
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:41,490
at the Megalesia Festival.
382
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,193
If you still want to go.
383
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:48,797
I wouldn't want to celebrate the end
of the Punic War with anyone else.
384
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:52,834
Even though I have absolutely
no idea what the Punic War was.
385
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,470
Well, actually,
it's fascinating.
386
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:57,306
It was when Rome
saved itself by...
387
00:19:57,330 --> 00:20:00,030
Oh, who the hell
cares? They'll have beer.
388
00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:08,606
You know, Judith, not to
bore you with more facts...
389
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,491
but primitive man believed
390
00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:18,860
that the air he breathed
had magic powers.
391
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,129
I'm not bored.
392
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:25,668
And when a man
and a woman kissed,
393
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:28,826
it was as if their
souls were mingling.
394
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,571
Oh, look, Mark.
395
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:05,162
It's the sister we've
always wanted.
396
00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:09,144
Hello, Bradina.
397
00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:11,146
Laugh all you want.
398
00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:12,781
But I've been going out
with Jessica for two weeks,
399
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:15,317
and she hasn't noticed one zit.
400
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:19,677
Yeah, but that doesn't explain
the lipstick and the mascara.
401
00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:23,259
Well, I dumped out
all Mom's makeup.
402
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,093
Which do you think
covers my zits better?
403
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:28,018
Bashful Beige or Nearly Nude?
404
00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:31,433
This is too weird.
405
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:33,724
(doorbell) I got it!
406
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,239
Hi. Is Brad here?
407
00:21:37,263 --> 00:21:40,130
Yeah. He's in the kitchen,
putting on his makeup.
408
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:48,406
Hey, Brad.
409
00:21:52,111 --> 00:21:56,024
Hey, Jessica! What
are you doing here?
410
00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:57,693
I, um...
411
00:21:57,717 --> 00:22:00,028
I just thought maybe we
could go to practice together.
412
00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:01,597
Well, um...
413
00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:05,456
Brad, are you trying to
cover up that zit on your chin?
414
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:11,395
Oh, man. I knew I should
have gone with Bashful Beige.
415
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:20,316
No. No, I think that Bashful
Beige is too dark for you.
416
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:23,352
You'd look better in Posy Pink.
417
00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:26,076
I think I have that.
418
00:22:29,748 --> 00:22:31,393
All right. Now, guys,
you need to remember
419
00:22:31,417 --> 00:22:34,296
to apply it gently
and blend thoroughly,
420
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:35,831
because you always want
421
00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:38,789
that natural boy-next-door look.
422
00:22:42,562 --> 00:22:47,331
There you go. Good job.
422
00:22:48,305 --> 00:23:48,853
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