1
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,681
Hello, Bud. Hey, Tim.
2
00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:08,184
Good to see you. You too, Bud.
3
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:12,922
Tim, you know, I've been looking
over the scripts and they are terrific.
4
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:15,459
Great. It's nice to have a
boss appreciate my ideas.
5
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:19,596
I love what you're doing. If the
ratings in the new markets aren't good,
6
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:22,366
then I hate what you're doing.
7
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:25,968
It'll be great. They'll love us.
I'm sure they're gonna love you.
8
00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:28,438
But I still have
doubts about Al. No...
9
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:31,708
Yeah, yeah. Which is
why I made a little change.
10
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:33,731
Change? Yeah.
11
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,653
This is not me!
12
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:46,255
Yeah, but that's
what I'm going for.
13
00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:48,291
See, I'm trying to get that
20-something audience -
14
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,060
that Generation X crowd.
15
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:53,497
This'll make 'em
shut off their TVs.
16
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:57,701
I wonder how Al would
look in a buzz cut?
17
00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:01,438
His mom doesn't
look too good in one.
18
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,340
Does everybody
know what time it is?
19
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,375
Tool time!
20
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:08,878
That's right. Binford Tools is proud
to present Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!
21
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,902
Woo hoo!
22
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:18,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
23
00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:25,462
Thank you. Thank you,
Heidi. And thank you, everyone.
24
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:28,331
Welcome to Tool Time. I am
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor,
25
00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:29,699
and you know my assistant,
26
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:34,303
Al "Generation
X-tra Large" Borland.
27
00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:38,007
You might have noticed Al's not sporting
his traditional plaid or flannel today
28
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:43,201
because he's got a new
look. I think he looks... peachy.
29
00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:47,384
I don't feel peachy.
30
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,452
Today we're talking
about do-it-yourself jobs
31
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,487
that aren't actually
do-it-yourself.
32
00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:53,190
Replacing a pane
of glass is one thing,
33
00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:55,325
but for plate glass,
you'll need a helper.
34
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,760
I'll be hiking the
glass in place,
35
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,797
Al will use a point
driver to secure it.
36
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:03,399
All right, Al, point driver.
37
00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:05,235
Uh, I don't have
my point driver.
38
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:08,305
Well, thanks for "pointing"
that out. Where is it?
39
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:12,997
I left it backstage. I feel a little
flummoxed without my flannel.
40
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:22,218
You'll have to forgive Al. He's going
through a little flannel withdrawal.
41
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:26,256
Next week we're checking him
in to the Betty Flannel Clinic, so...
42
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:30,160
While Al's getting his point driver, I
can welcome two new markets for us.
43
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:34,130
Bottom's up, Milwaukee! And
how's it hangin', Columbus?
44
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,966
Uh... gosh!
45
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:41,771
Al, hurry up. I'm beginning
to feel like Garfield here.
46
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:45,375
I got it! OK. I'm here.
47
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:49,446
It's just you don't know what it's
like being trapped in the wrong fabric.
48
00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:52,582
Secure the points
with the point driver.
49
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,550
No problem. All right.
50
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:56,953
We'll glaze the window after...
51
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:59,211
I left the points
backstage. I got some here.
52
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:01,318
OK, I'm going to the
library for a few hours.
53
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:02,953
What are you guys
gonna do today?
54
00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:04,854
Nothing. Nothing.
55
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,156
Nothing.
56
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:07,478
I'm supervising.
57
00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:18,056
Well, don't overwork yourself.
58
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,638
Bye. (Tim) Have a good day.
59
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,473
(Mark) Bye.
60
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:27,110
All right, guys. Hurry up.
Let's clean this house up.
61
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,713
We'll give your mom the
best surprise party ever.
62
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:32,982
Think she suspects
anything? Nah.
63
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:36,319
The party's two weeks early.
Great idea. I'm glad I thought of it.
64
00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:38,588
I thought of it.
65
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,591
Who thought of having all the
guests wait over at Wilson's?
66
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,860
Dad, I came up with that.
67
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:47,630
Yeah, but whose idea was it to have
everybody bring their favorite dish?
68
00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:49,332
Mine.
69
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,735
Why throw Mom a 39th
birthday party anyway?
70
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:53,570
I thought 40 was the big one.
71
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:57,340
Randy, Randy, Randy, Randy.
72
00:04:57,364 --> 00:05:00,076
You got a lot to
learn about women.
73
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,580
A woman's 40th birthday party is
something she does not want to celebrate.
74
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:06,316
Why not?
75
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:10,120
Well, because at 40 a woman
feels like she's, you know, getting old.
76
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:15,213
And that puts her in a very
bad mood for a very long time.
77
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:19,529
How long?
78
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:22,065
Generally, the rest of her life.
79
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:25,001
You see, at that age women
don't like their looks anymore.
80
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,337
They see their cheeks
sagging, necks hanging.
81
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:29,572
And before long,
82
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:33,043
it's inevitable their entire
face will cave right in.
83
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:35,278
Even a party can't cheer her up?
84
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:37,313
I'm sorry to say, Mark,
there's not a party big enough
85
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,905
to make a woman
happy who has no face.
86
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,722
Which is why tonight's
party is gonna be great.
87
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:48,524
I'm flying in Aunt Carrie,
Mom's best friends will be here.
88
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:51,883
I even invited that lady she liked
at the magazine, Julie Zwickie.
89
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,132
Did you say Julie Zwickie?
90
00:05:56,156 --> 00:06:00,870
No, I said, "Goodness, gracious!
These counters are sticky."
91
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,105
Why are you back? I
forgot my psych book.
92
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:06,676
Ew! Just mentioning Julie
Zwickie makes my skin crawl.
93
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,245
I thought you liked her.
94
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:13,416
Not since I found out that she bad-mouthed
me when I worked at the magazine.
95
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,251
If I ever see that
backstabbing witch again
96
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:18,254
I'll squeeze her neck
till her eyes pop out.
97
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,423
See you guys later!
98
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:23,693
Have a nice day.
99
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,716
Good party game.
100
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:31,889
Instead of charades, we can play
"Pop the Eyes Out of Julie Zwickie."
101
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:40,409
Hi, Wilson. Jill?
102
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:42,834
Tim? What are you
doing over there?
103
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,217
Uh...
104
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:52,488
Wilson called me at work
and said he's going out of town,
105
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:54,657
so why don't I check to
see if his doors are locked.
106
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:56,826
I thought you
were at the library.
107
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,195
I was. I got home
a couple hours ago.
108
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:02,499
I'm looking through these photo
albums my mom gave me for my birthday.
109
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:03,633
(Wilson whistles)
110
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,323
Hit the deck!
111
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,198
Jill's over there. Hold these.
112
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:22,752
Look. That's me at age eight
playing our old family piano.
113
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:27,524
You look mighty cute
playing that old piece of junk.
114
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:30,927
It wasn't a piece of junk.
That was an antique. Uh-huh.
115
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:34,264
Look how happy I am sitting
there practicing chopsticks.
116
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:38,902
You were good to be able to eat Chinese
food and play the piano at the same time.
117
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:42,004
Gosh, I loved that piano. Mm-hm.
118
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:46,575
And Dad got transferred to a
base in Europe and gave it away!
119
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:49,012
I was so upset I cried
all the way to Italy.
120
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,735
Mm-hm-hm-hm-hm.
121
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,606
Mm-hm-hm-hm-hm.
122
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:59,844
Kind of reminds me
of my first scroll saw.
123
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:04,293
Your parents gave
it away? No, no.
124
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,796
I left it at the playground.
125
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,199
I put a small motor
in the teeter-totter.
126
00:08:09,223 --> 00:08:12,468
I shot this kid halfway
across the parking lot.
127
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,803
When I got back to the
playground, it was gone.
128
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,806
I always wanted to
track that thing down.
129
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,709
Have you noticed when I
tell you a story about me,
130
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:22,145
we wind up talking about you?
131
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,168
Never noticed.
132
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,054
Good going, Wilson.
133
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,622
Maybe next time you'll keep
your "hm-hm-hms" to yourself.
134
00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:36,525
Well, I am sorry,
neighbor. OK. Your keys.
135
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,683
Hm. There you go.
136
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,820
(balloons popping)
137
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:48,471
Al, no eating till we get to
the party, OK? I'm sorry, Tim.
138
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:52,830
But when they took my flannel away,
I was so upset I couldn't eat my lunch!
139
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:58,181
It's not like you couldn't
miss a meal now and then.
140
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,250
Main dishes. Who
brought main dishes?
141
00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:03,520
Well, I've got a wok full of
my delicious kung-pao crickets.
142
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,222
Ew. Somebody else?
Anybody else bring a main dish?
143
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:09,258
It's OK. It's OK. We brought
a big bowl of lobster salad.
144
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,426
Oh, that's just
perfect, Marty. Great.
145
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:14,063
Lobster makes Jill
break out in hives.
146
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:18,367
Marty, why didn't you
know that? I'm sorry.
147
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:22,872
I guess I'll just start keeping a
list of all my relatives' allergies.
148
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,140
Everybody, help get
the lobster out of here.
149
00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:28,032
Just pick in and get the
lobster out. Quick, quick, quick.
150
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,583
Carrie, what'd
you bring? Nothing.
151
00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:36,619
You come to your sister's birthday
party and you don't bring anything?
152
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:39,755
Tim, I came straight
from the airport.
153
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:43,181
All I have are my peanuts
from the plane. I'll take 'em.
154
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,730
Ooh - Honey-roasted.
Back off, Al.
155
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:51,234
Put these in the salad. It'll be like
a peanut pasta thing or something.
156
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:54,671
Hey, everybody!
157
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,039
What are you doing here?
158
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:58,007
I heard you were
having a party for Jill.
159
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:00,643
How come I wasn't invited?
160
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:03,479
I didn't want you to feel
obligated to bring her a present.
161
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:07,116
You know me. I
never feel obligated.
162
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:11,187
Hey, I got the balloons. I had
to go all over town but I got 'em.
163
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,789
Well, go all over town
and take 'em back.
164
00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:17,093
They say "40th
Birthday." It's her 39th.
165
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,828
Her 39th? I thought this
was her 40th birthday.
166
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:22,298
Me, too. Why not have
the party next year?
167
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:27,091
Because that's when a woman
falls apart and her face caves in.
168
00:10:29,495 --> 00:10:31,306
Who told you that?
169
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:33,910
Dad. He knows
everything about women.
170
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,812
Is that so?
171
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:39,681
You know what the odd thing
is? This boy has two fathers.
172
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:42,317
And it was the other father
who would've said something...
173
00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:44,586
Oh, boy.
174
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:47,624
Why don't you tell us everything
you know about women, Tim?
175
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:49,280
Yeah. We have a second.
176
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:54,229
Boy, is it hot! Are
you hot at all here?
177
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:56,299
Benny, can you
help me with this?
178
00:10:56,323 --> 00:11:00,503
I can't. I thought women
fell apart when they hit 30.
179
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:03,995
Oh! How could you say that?!
180
00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,777
Hi, Brad. Where's Mom?
181
00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:13,149
She's upstairs. Perfect.
Everybody's at Wilson's waiting.
182
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,318
(phone ringing) Get that.
183
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,886
Hello? Yeah, hold on a second.
184
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:20,611
Hey, Dad, it's that woman
Mom hates. Julie Zwickie.
185
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,716
She needs
directions to the party.
186
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:32,869
Hi, Julie. It's Tim Taylor.
Hi. Where are you now?
187
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:38,141
OK, quick. Get on 94, go
west. When you get to 10...
188
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:41,010
I know, sounds pretty goofy,
doesn't it? But just listen.
189
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:44,947
When you get to
10, go... 12 exits.
190
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:48,985
You get off that exit and then just
look for our house. You can't miss it.
191
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:52,343
OK. Look forward to
seeing you. OK, bye.
192
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:59,929
Won't that take her
to Canada? Yes, it will.
193
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,597
It'll be a perfect surprise.
194
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:04,534
I'll go to the art show and act
like I've got a stomach ache.
195
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:09,438
Be back in a half hour. This
is gonna be perfect! Honey!
196
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:12,842
Ready to go to the art show?
No art show, I'm going to Toledo.
197
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:15,945
What? Yeah. I
found my old piano.
198
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,546
What? I got the idea
199
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,083
when you told me that
story about your scroll saw.
200
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:22,951
You hated that story! I did
hate it when I first heard it.
201
00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:26,723
But then I was inspired by it.
Go with the hate! Go with the hate!
202
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:31,226
No. You see, when I was growing
up we were always moving around.
203
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:34,163
My parents used to just
throw away all of our stuff.
204
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,498
So I have nothing
left of my past.
205
00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:38,634
Sure you do. You have
those beautiful photo...
206
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:42,805
That's not enough! My cousin Henry
has the piano, he says he'll give it to me.
207
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:46,709
Movers will meet me there. I'll
be back in three or four hours.
208
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:49,011
Three or four?
I'll see you later!
209
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,335
Three or four hours?!
210
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,698
Did you eat a meatball? No!
211
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:13,082
I said nobody eats until
she gets back. All right?
212
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,072
Benny, Benny,
Benny, Benny, Benny.
213
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:20,375
I'm gonna save this for the
toast. Is that all right? OK?
214
00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:24,847
We can't drink anything, we can't
eat anything. There's no guest of honor.
215
00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:27,583
You throw a heck of a party.
216
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:31,242
It's not my fault, Marty. This
whole thing was the kids' idea.
217
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:39,896
Hey, we're not the ones who inspired her
with that dumb story about the scroll saw.
218
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,631
This is a disaster. Now what?
219
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:46,302
Oh, I just called my service and found
out I have to fly to Norway immediately.
220
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,370
You're flying to
Norway now? Yeah.
221
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:51,307
I have to photograph a statue
of King Olaf in the morning.
222
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,476
You can't leave Jill's
party in the middle.
223
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:57,068
The middle of the party?
When was the beginning?
224
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:03,519
Can't you be late a couple days?
The statue's not gonna run away.
225
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:07,423
Tim, it's a big job. I
can't blow off Olaf.
226
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:10,692
You know, this is
unbelievable. I came all this way
227
00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:12,895
and now my sister won't
even know I was here.
228
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:15,697
Yeah, wait a minute.
Yes, she will. Heidi?
229
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:17,733
My camera, please.
Here you go, Tim.
230
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,935
Thank you, Heidi.
You're welcome.
231
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,570
All right. Say cheese.
232
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,427
We can eat the cheese? No!
233
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,331
OK, I'm off.
234
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:33,216
Marie, how are you holding
up? Oh, I'm doing great, Tim.
235
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:38,554
Considering my bum of a husband left me
for a 25-year-old meat packer at his plant.
236
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,356
Oh, God, Tim.
237
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,893
Wilson, could you help
me out just for a little bit?
238
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:47,196
Why certainly, neighbor.
Hello, Marie. Hi, Wilson.
239
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,665
I'm reminded of the poet,
Robert Burns, who said,
240
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:53,289
"Had we ne'er lov'd so kindly,
had we ne'er lov'd sae blindly..."
241
00:14:55,962 --> 00:15:01,477
Tim, maybe you oughta just cancel the
party and have it on Jill's real birthday.
242
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:04,347
She will be back!
243
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:06,448
I was just trying to help.
244
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:09,050
Well, I'm just trying...
Don't snap at me!
245
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,186
I never knew you
could be such a crab.
246
00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:13,444
We can eat the crab?
247
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,255
Hello?
248
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,304
Hello?
249
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,673
Hello.
250
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:34,209
Oh, hi, Henry. I'm
so excited to see you.
251
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:36,100
Me, too. Who are you?
252
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:42,084
I'm your cousin Jill. We just spoke
on the phone a couple of hours ago.
253
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,074
Tell me more.
254
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:50,226
I came here to get
my old piano back.
255
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:53,316
Remember? I told you
the story about how my dad
256
00:15:53,340 --> 00:15:56,299
gave your mom my piano
and how crushed I was.
257
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:59,735
Devastated. Heartbroken?
258
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:02,038
Oh! Oh, that Jill.
259
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:05,741
Sorry, I've been
shellacking today.
260
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:08,366
I get a little fuzzy.
261
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:14,015
Do you think we could go in? OK.
262
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:16,207
Yeah.
263
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,623
Wow! Look at all this stuff!
264
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:24,193
You like it? Yes. I do.
265
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:28,764
You know, I remember when you
used to pick through our garbage.
266
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:31,701
I had no idea you were
gonna shellac it and sell it for...
267
00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:35,104
a lot of money.
268
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:37,907
It's funny. The garbage
in the can is worth nothing.
269
00:16:37,931 --> 00:16:39,785
But once it's in a
gallery people whip out
270
00:16:39,809 --> 00:16:41,732
their checkbooks
faster than you can say...
271
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:46,804
whatever it is that people say.
272
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,640
Well... put.
273
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:59,729
Well, Henry, the movers
will be here any minute.
274
00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:01,318
I'm moving?
275
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:06,769
No. You're gonna
give back my old piano,
276
00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:09,305
and I'm gonna take
it to Detroit. Right.
277
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:10,372
Right. Right.
278
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:11,874
Right.
279
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:15,177
So, Henry, where is the piano?
280
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,068
Oh, it's over here.
281
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,421
This is my piano? Yeah.
282
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,456
I don't believe it.
283
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,613
Thanks. Wait till you see this.
284
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:34,085
(train whistle)
285
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,840
It's 10:30. Maybe we
should cut the cake.
286
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:47,643
Cake? Now you're talking.
287
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,112
Somebody light the
candles and make a wish.
288
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:54,083
I wish I didn't eat so
many kung-pao crickets.
289
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:58,421
Keep getting this weird
urge to rub my legs together.
290
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,021
Jill's coming!
Jill's coming! Shh!
291
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:03,325
Finally! Everybody, hide! Quiet!
292
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:06,194
What's she doing? She's
standing, staring at the sky.
293
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:07,797
Go hide. Hide. Everybody, hide.
294
00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:10,287
Don't touch that
cake until I get back.
295
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:15,893
Hey, I've been waiting for
you. What are you doing?
296
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:21,476
Watching my dreams float away
into the far reaches of nothingness.
297
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:24,213
I can't see them.
298
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:26,315
You can do that
inside, can't ya?
299
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:30,785
Tim. It was such a depressing
day. My cousin ruined my piano.
300
00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:33,521
I'll get you another.
Let's talk about it inside.
301
00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:38,027
I don't want to talk about it. I
think I just want to be alone.
302
00:18:38,051 --> 00:18:41,718
Surprise!
303
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:50,472
I'm sorry things didn't go so smoothly. I
wanted this to be a special night for you.
304
00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:52,441
It was special.
305
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,311
There were only 11 people here.
306
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,812
Yeah. But 11
people I really love.
307
00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:01,283
Well, I mean, ten plus Benny.
308
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,685
I'm sorry about
that piano thing.
309
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,455
Oh, it was crazy for me to
go chasing after that anyway.
310
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:09,325
No, it wasn't. Yes, it was.
311
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:13,929
I was just trying to go back into
my past and find something I lost.
312
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,365
We can do it another
time, I'll go with you.
313
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:19,835
We'll make a weekend
out of it. That's OK, Tim.
314
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:24,239
You know, when I
walked in here tonight
315
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:27,109
I saw all the things that
have meaning in my life.
316
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:30,079
Great friends, wonderful family,
317
00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:33,248
a husband who was sensitive
enough to throw me a birthday party
318
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:35,639
the year before
my face caved in.
319
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:43,092
Oh, you heard that?
Yeah, I heard that.
320
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:46,028
So, honey,
321
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:49,031
are you still gonna love me
when I'm all droopy and saggy?
322
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:51,415
Come on! I already do.
323
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:57,026
I fell in love with you and I
intend to fall apart with you. Hm?
324
00:19:58,031 --> 00:20:01,010
(doorbell rings)
325
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,378
Who is that at this
time of the night?
326
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:05,001
It's probably Al
looking for leftovers.
327
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:19,216
I'm sorry I'm late, but those
directions you gave me were terrible!
328
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,832
Julie Zwickie?
329
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:26,824
Happy birthday!
330
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,200
Oh, thank you so much!
331
00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:45,287
What is this?
332
00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:47,956
We did something
special for you.
333
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,024
All right. Where
do you want her?
334
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:51,559
Right here. Perfect. Perfect.
335
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:55,030
All right, Mom. What's the one thing
you want most in the whole world?
336
00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:57,766
Never to see
Julie Zwickie again.
337
00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:00,702
Got that. We got something
real special for you.
338
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:03,886
Go ahead and take
off the bandana. OK.
339
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:11,312
A piano! Oh, my gosh! It looks just
like the one I had when I was a kid!
340
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:13,715
It is the one you
had as a kid. No!
341
00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:16,418
You couldn't have! How could
you do this? It was a mess.
342
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:19,710
Well, not as big a mess
as your cousin Henry.
343
00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:26,395
We spent two weeks
restoring it in Wilson's garage.
344
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:29,665
Yeah. We would've had it done in a week
except Dad kept on playing with the train.
345
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:33,102
Oh, I love it so much.
346
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:35,737
Thank you. Oh, thank
you, honey. Happy birthday.
347
00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:39,374
And honey! And honey! And honey!
348
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:40,542
Woo!
349
00:21:40,566 --> 00:21:43,579
Let me see, what do I
remember? Um... OK.
350
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:45,603
(♪ "Für Elise" by Beethoven)
351
00:21:47,773 --> 00:21:49,739
(plays off key)
352
00:21:57,249 --> 00:22:00,249
I wonder how long it would take
to turn it back into an aquarium.
353
00:22:04,190 --> 00:22:07,569
Let's clean up. It'll be the
best party we ever gave her.
354
00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:09,571
You think she suspects anything?
355
00:22:09,595 --> 00:22:12,807
I think that having the party
two weeks before the real thing...
356
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:15,232
(indistinct)
357
00:22:17,103 --> 00:22:20,582
Whose idea was it for everybody
to bring their favorite dish?
358
00:22:20,606 --> 00:22:22,751
Mine.
359
00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:26,276
I'm sick and tired of
your insolence, boys.
360
00:22:37,423 --> 00:22:40,157
Dad... (laughs)
360
00:22:41,305 --> 00:23:41,495
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