1
00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:07,284
Hi, Tim. Hello, Heidi.
2
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,286
I got ahold of the
expense report.
3
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:12,188
You might wanna look at
this before it goes to the boss.
4
00:00:12,212 --> 00:00:14,190
Why do I want to look at it?
5
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:19,584
Well, check out page two under
the heading "Things Tim Broke."
6
00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:24,500
Porta-Potti, 500
bucks. Mm, not bad.
7
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:27,303
Plate-glass window, 275.
8
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:29,940
Fuse and circuit
breakers, 150 bucks?
9
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:31,941
Look, do me a big favor.
10
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:34,611
You know that Binford 6100
paper shredder? Mm-hmm.
11
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:37,814
Why don't you be a good
friend and run this through that?
12
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:41,406
Well, I can't. You
broke it. 800 bucks.
13
00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:46,523
Well, why don't
you help me out here
14
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,548
and find something that I
haven't broken and hide it in there.
15
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:57,634
"And here we have the
complete line of Binford pruners...
16
00:00:57,658 --> 00:01:01,003
the complete line of
Binford power pruners...
17
00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:03,005
What are you
doing? I'm rehearsing.
18
00:01:03,029 --> 00:01:05,007
"The complete
line of Binford's..."
19
00:01:05,031 --> 00:01:07,865
It's in the script.
Look. Yeah, OK.
20
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:14,351
I don't know. Are we
demonstrating the extended version?
21
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:17,387
We are not. If you'd read the
script, you would know that.
22
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,923
How am I supposed to
read the script? It's in pieces.
23
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:22,124
Hi, boys. Hi, Irma.
24
00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:25,228
So, who's looking forward
to tonight's Cable Awards?
25
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:28,632
Well, since you win everything
every year, I'm guessing you.
26
00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:30,633
I do expect a statue or two
27
00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:34,104
for my special "21 Things
You Can Do With A Squash."
28
00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:37,040
I can think of one more.
29
00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:40,377
Oh, Tim. You're
such a little scallion.
30
00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:42,445
Well, I'll see
you tonight, boys.
31
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,681
Bye-bye. Bye.
32
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,350
Sometimes that woman
really steams my rutabagas.
33
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:49,853
Come on, Tim, don't
let Irma get to ya.
34
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,388
I think we have a very
good chance this year.
35
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,324
Yeah, right.
36
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,959
Come on, Tim.
37
00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:59,429
Turn that frown
upside-down. Come on.
38
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:02,899
We never win. We
go to the awards show.
39
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:05,501
We look like a bunch
of losers sitting there.
40
00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:09,172
The crew gets all liquored
up and breaks things.
41
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:11,241
What do you say
we bail out early
42
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,243
and go to Eddie's
Halloween party?
43
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,545
We can't insult the
nominating committee.
44
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:18,548
We can do both. We'll go to the
awards and then to Eddie's party.
45
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,784
There's no point in
going to the awards show.
46
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:23,053
The judges just don't
go for family tool shows.
47
00:02:23,077 --> 00:02:27,323
They go for those highbrow,
urban, cappuccino/radicchio shows.
48
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:30,393
May I remind you that we've
done some excellent episodes?
49
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:33,629
Pick any show
from "Stucco Week."
50
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,599
That's powerful
television. That's right.
51
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:40,003
And who wasn't moved
by our "Salute to Toilets"?
52
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:44,307
We had the audience sitting
on the edge of their seats.
53
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,510
We deserve to be
there. That's right, we do,
54
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,511
because we do
quality television.
55
00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:52,055
I mean, how many shows teach
people how to use stuff like this?
56
00:02:54,000 --> 00:03:00,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-
57
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:49,339
Why can't I go
trick-or-treating tonight?
58
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:52,442
'Cause you have a
fever and an ear infection.
59
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,611
But how am I gonna
get any candy?
60
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,446
Well, when Randy goes out,
61
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:59,015
he can just ask for extra
candy for his sick brother.
62
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:01,918
Mom...
63
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:05,055
I try that every
year. It never works.
64
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,891
I'll give you a note.
65
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:12,383
Oh, won't I be cool?
66
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,331
Is he OK? Hi. Yeah.
67
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:18,067
Hi, Dad. Hey. Well,
little change in plans.
68
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,737
I decided to go to the
awards banquet after all,
69
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,739
then we'll go to Eddie's
party. No, no, no, no.
70
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,841
More change of plans.
We've lost the baby-sitter.
71
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,676
Somebody's gotta stay with Mark.
72
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,278
Randy can stay.
Can't do it, Dad.
73
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:33,238
I'm going trick-or-treating
with a note from my mother.
74
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,752
Hi, Mom, hi, Dad. What
are you up to tonight?
75
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,888
I'm just gonna
hang out at Jason's.
76
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:40,656
Hi. I'm Jason. Nice to meet you.
77
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,192
Nice to meet you. How you doin'?
78
00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:44,794
Tool Time is my favorite show.
79
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:47,230
Brad tells me kids
your age don't watch it.
80
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:49,231
Well, I'm a year
older than Brad, sir.
81
00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:52,935
I know that Tool Time
isn't just about tools.
82
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:56,794
It's a metaphor for
how we live in the '90s.
83
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:04,314
It is. It is, yes. Yeah, it is.
84
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:06,016
I like this kid.
85
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,318
Well, say, if you two are
just hanging out at Jason's,
86
00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:12,021
why don't you hang out
here? The sitter canceled.
87
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,257
I don't want to ruin my
night baby-sitting Mark.
88
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,259
Don't be selfish.
Help me out here.
89
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,662
It's no big deal. We can
hang out here and watch TV.
90
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,364
Hey, Mr. Taylor, are the
Cable Awards being televised?
91
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,566
Absolutely.
92
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:26,069
Channel 87 are pre-empting
all their programming.
93
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:29,813
Which consists of an
infomercial and test pattern.
94
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:32,597
You are funny!
95
00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:37,146
I bet you could have
your own show, too.
96
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,716
I bet you could run for office.
97
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,051
It might not be a bad thing
98
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:44,820
to have a tool man
in the White House.
99
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,423
Maybe he could fix what's
wrong with this country.
100
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,847
Stick with it, young man.
101
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:57,600
Great. Why'd you tell
them we'd stay here alone?
102
00:05:57,624 --> 00:06:00,370
Brad, let me do
the math for you.
103
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:03,739
No parents, plus you
and Senator Jason...
104
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,942
equals party!
105
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:09,579
My parents would kill me if
they found out I had a party.
106
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:13,649
Brad, I know you're just a
measly freshman, but stick with me
107
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:17,953
and you'll be a measly freshman
who threw one great party.
108
00:06:17,977 --> 00:06:21,546
And wait till you meet my
friends Page and Bridgett. Hello!
109
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:28,186
You're starting to make
a lot of sense, Senator.
110
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:35,905
And the winner for Best
Achievement in Sound is...
111
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:39,776
No surprise here.
Cooking with Irma!
112
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,399
(screams)
113
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,688
How on Earth does
she win for "Sound"?
114
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:55,325
What kind of sound does
a baked chicken make?
115
00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:56,793
(clucks)
116
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:59,662
(chokes)
117
00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:04,100
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
118
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:07,169
This award makes 13.
119
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:09,672
Or, as we like to
say in my business,
120
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,863
a baker's dozen.
121
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:19,882
I'll tell you, that woman
really just ticks me -
122
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,839
Congratulations.
123
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:26,122
You have to admit
her shows are good.
124
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,458
She did that fabulous
series on desserts.
125
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:31,694
Did you see the two-parter on the
lemon chiffon cake with a raspberry sauce?
126
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:33,218
Yes. Weren't you dying?
127
00:07:34,987 --> 00:07:38,201
Excuse me. Got a minute?
128
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:40,069
Sorry, Tim. What
table are we sitting at?
129
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:43,306
The "I love Irma"
table is right over there.
130
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,640
Sorry, Tim.
131
00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:46,142
Look, I've had it.
132
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,644
I'm gonna get out of here
and go to Eddie's party.
133
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:51,147
You can't leave the awards
show in the middle of it.
134
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,615
That's poor sportsmanship.
135
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,739
Look at the Knitting
with Norm table.
136
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,856
Have they won anything tonight?
137
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,792
No. But they're still here.
138
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,261
Do you want to be like him?
139
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:09,065
The man's knitting a
toaster cover in public.
140
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,934
But we can't all get up
and leave at the same time.
141
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,937
You're right. It would look bad.
142
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:16,939
Al, you and Ilene, you go to the
bathroom, put your costumes on.
143
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:19,042
We'll meet you out in
the lobby in ten minutes.
144
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,944
I don't want to go. Come on.
145
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:24,013
There's still five awards
left. Irma can't win them all.
146
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,215
And now the award
for Best Lighting.
147
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,617
The winner is...
148
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,987
"Irma Goes to the Fruit Stand."
149
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,388
(screams)
150
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,223
All right, let's go change.
151
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:35,747
Come on, let's go.
152
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:42,699
Brad, you've been working on
your hair for an hour and a half.
153
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:46,290
Yeah, but you gotta
admit it was worth it.
154
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,306
What are you doing?
Turning on the Cable Awards.
155
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,642
That way, when your parents get
home, we'll know what happened.
156
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:55,111
How'd you get so smart?
157
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:58,181
I've thrown a lot of parties
at other people's houses.
158
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,483
My ear hurts.
159
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:03,586
I think I have pus.
160
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:04,976
You're fine.
161
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,324
How would you know?
162
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,914
I'm a doctor.
163
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,829
You're in high school.
164
00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:17,133
I see patients during recess.
165
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:18,902
(doorbell rings)
166
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:22,672
That's them. Get ready
for the best night of your life.
167
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,841
Mark, here's a buck,
OK? Go upstairs.
168
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:27,865
Best night of your
life - two bucks.
169
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:35,552
Brad, this is Page and Bridgett
and some of their friends.
170
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:38,254
Hi, Brad. I love your hair.
171
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:42,058
I haven't even combed it yet.
172
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,293
I brought some CDs.
Oh, cool. Which ones?
173
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,362
I got the new Mangled Lizards.
174
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,554
Cool! The live album
- Mangled in Moscow.
175
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,535
(♪ rock)
176
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,237
(phone ringing)
177
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,694
Hey, everybody,
quiet! Parents alert.
178
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:03,446
Hello? Oh, hi, Mom.
Yeah, everything's fine.
179
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,915
Jason, stop tickling me!
180
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,718
No, Mom. That was me.
181
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,842
I don't know. Jason's a tickler.
182
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,024
Yeah, everything's fine.
183
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:17,793
Have a great time and
don't worry about us.
184
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:20,096
All right. Bye.
185
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,366
Your parents aren't coming
home early, are they?
186
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:27,570
No, no. My mom was just calling
and asking about my little brother's pus.
187
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,928
My Little Brother's
Pus. I love that band.
188
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:41,017
Next year they should just move
my table right up on the stage!
189
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:44,554
Or maybe just have the
ceremony in your living room.
190
00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:45,922
(cackling)
191
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,358
(imitates Irma's laugh)
192
00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:51,227
(sighs) What is it - Mark?
193
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:54,597
No, Mark's fine. I'm worried about
what else may be going on at the house.
194
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,732
What else is going on? Well...
195
00:10:56,756 --> 00:11:00,658
There was a lot of noise,
and Jason was tickling Brad.
196
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:04,540
Maybe we should go home.
197
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:08,098
If Jason's tickling Brad,
I don't want to go home.
198
00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:12,214
I just don't like that Jason.
He's just too smooth.
199
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:14,217
He's a good kid.
200
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:18,121
If it weren't for him, Brad wouldn't
be glued to the TV right now.
201
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:19,422
Hey, Brad.
202
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:22,280
Hey, Brad! How are you doing?
203
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,705
And now the award
for the best show.
204
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,840
The nominees are
Knitting with Norm
205
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,710
for his special on
Japanese sweaters -
206
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:43,534
"Tora! Tora! It's Angora."
207
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:51,843
Cooking with Irma for her Christmas
special, "Home for the Hollandaise."
208
00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:57,559
I can't take any more of
this. Let's just go. Come on.
209
00:11:57,583 --> 00:12:00,863
And Tool Time for
their salute to engines -
210
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,432
"I Shoulda Had a V-8."
211
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:05,368
And the winner is...
212
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,202
Tool Time!
213
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:10,539
Tool Time! We won.
214
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:14,365
Al, get out of the bathroom!
We won Best Show!
215
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:24,587
It's about time someone
took us seriously.
216
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:26,923
Ilene, we won.
217
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,891
Oh, you did?
218
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,875
Congratulations... Oh!
219
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:37,632
Come on, Fur Ball.
Let's go get our award.
220
00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:40,002
I can't go up there
looking like this.
221
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:43,427
What are you, a man or a
mouse? Come on, buddy!
222
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:50,654
Well, I guess you feel
pretty silly right about now.
223
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:58,421
Um... it's hard to say how much thanks
we have from everybody at Tool Time,
224
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:02,925
which, of course, is a...
a-a show that is a metaphor
225
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:06,496
for how we live
our lives in the '90s.
226
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:07,997
I want to...
227
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:11,834
everybody from Binford Tools,
I want to thank Heidi, of course,
228
00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:15,704
my crew, if they can
hear me out at the bar,
229
00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:19,041
my three boys for inspiration,
and who am I missing? Um...
230
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:21,811
Your wife. My wife. I'm sorry.
231
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:24,647
And most of all, this man
next to me, Al Borland,
232
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:30,085
whose professionalism
and class and dignity
233
00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:33,589
has been an
inspiration to many of us.
234
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,591
Thank you, Tim.
235
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:38,327
I, uh... Well, I
just want to say
236
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,896
that... that this proves
237
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:44,533
that dreams really
can come true.
238
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:47,670
When I started
out in this business,
239
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:51,095
well, I... I lived in
a hole in the wall.
240
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,544
But...
241
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,314
Well, I want to
say, did I give up?
242
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,883
Did I run away with my
tail between my legs?
243
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:04,086
No! No! I went on...
244
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:07,189
And on and on and on.
245
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:09,291
From both of us, thanks
very much, and good night.
246
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:10,359
Thank you.
247
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,027
Thank you.
248
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:13,930
Well, congratulations, buddy.
249
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:16,265
Now you have something
to put on your mantel
250
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,868
instead of that big picture
of your mom you blew up.
251
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:20,724
That wasn't blown up.
252
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,308
Let's see. Let me see.
253
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,365
(♪ rock)
254
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:39,543
I love this music. Who is
it? The Bloated Jellyfish.
255
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:46,529
Hey, I'm out. You got any butts?
256
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,921
Just one. And don't even
think about lighting it up.
257
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:00,665
Brad?
258
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:10,385
What is going on here?
A few friends dropped by.
259
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:12,488
Great. Candy. Let's
see what you got.
260
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,156
Hey, that's mine. Give it back.
261
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:15,524
In your dreams.
262
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:18,160
Brad, you want to
help me out here?
263
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:20,196
I'm a little busy here.
264
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:23,132
We'll help you out. Hey...
265
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:25,189
This is not good. Help!
266
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:29,860
Hey, Brad, who's the guy
with the pumpkin on his head?
267
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:38,480
A guy who can get
me in a lot of trouble
268
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:39,982
if he tells my parents.
269
00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:41,739
I'll be back.
270
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,979
Hey, Wilson. How's it going?
271
00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,324
I'm gonna get
you for this, Brad.
272
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:04,473
I thought you went
to a Halloween party.
273
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:08,043
Well, actually, I got back
about a half an hour ago.
274
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:10,146
Seems you're having
quite a party over there.
275
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,714
Actually, it's not a party.
276
00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:15,016
I just had a few
friends over. Hmm.
277
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:18,387
Last time I counted, it was 37.
278
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,777
Ah. 39.
279
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:25,094
You saw the whole thing?
280
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:27,396
Actually, Brad, I heard it,
281
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,764
and I must admit
282
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:31,534
the melodic appeal of
Bloated Jellyfish escapes me.
283
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:35,038
You see, I find them quite
derivative of My Little Brother's Pus.
284
00:16:36,062 --> 00:16:39,375
You're not gonna tell my
parents, are you, Wilson?
285
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:41,410
Oh, Brad, Brad, Brad.
286
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:44,146
You put me in such a quandary.
287
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:47,149
On the one hand, is
it a neighbor's place
288
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,218
to get his friend's
son in trouble?
289
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,220
And then on the other hand,
290
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,457
I'm reminded of the Roman
Quintus Horatius Flaccus, who said,
291
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:59,562
"For it is your business if your
neighbor's wall catches fire."
292
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,497
Yeah, but what about the words
293
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,499
of a great American,
Mister Rogers?
294
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:07,258
He said, "Won't you
be my neighbor?"
295
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:14,899
Hmm. Hmm. Mm-hmm,
mm-hmm, hmm-hmm.
296
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:21,672
(Jill) What is going on here?
297
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,990
(Tim) Give me that
beer! Who are these kids?
298
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:31,048
Hey, Lancelot, what
are you doing here?
299
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:35,486
Puff and I own this castle.
300
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,526
I told you we should come
home and find out what's going on.
301
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,167
Mom? Dad?
302
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:53,849
You guys came back early.
303
00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:56,118
What are all these
kids doing in the house?
304
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:59,021
Mostly torturing me.
305
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,090
Where's Brad?
306
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:04,160
Well, gee, I don't want
to get Brad in trouble,
307
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:07,484
but check over there by the
beer cans and the cigarette butts.
308
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:11,133
(Jill) Brad!
309
00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:13,168
Brad!
310
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:14,224
Brad!
311
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:20,364
You are in so much trouble!
312
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:29,407
And you know she means it.
You can tell by the look on her face.
313
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:36,892
(Jill) All right, let's go
back to the beginning.
314
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,761
Whose idea was this
- Jason's or yours?
315
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,597
It couldn't have been Jason's.
316
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,333
He's a Tool Time fan. They know
the difference between right and wrong.
317
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,335
Have you not
figured out yet that
318
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,337
that kid was conning
you the whole time?
319
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,072
Tool Time fans don't con.
320
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:53,141
He's not a Tool Time fan.
321
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:56,812
You never answered my
question. Whose idea was this?
322
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,447
Jason's.
323
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,282
But you went along with it.
324
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,384
We give you responsibility,
this is what happens?
325
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:04,553
Hey, I didn't want
any responsibility.
326
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:07,590
OK. We'll remember that in two years
when you want your driver's license.
327
00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:12,428
By then I might be ready
for some responsibility.
328
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,429
We'll be the judge of that.
329
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:17,299
Did it ever occur to
you to just say no?
330
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:20,135
Yes. But I didn't think
it was that big a deal.
331
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,137
Well, it is a big deal.
332
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,640
You had a sick brother.
The house is a mess.
333
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,642
There are cigarette
burns on the couch.
334
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,478
What about this alcohol? They
brought it. There's nothing I can do.
335
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:32,080
I don't want your friends
bringing alcohol into this house.
336
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,916
I wasn't drinking.
337
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:36,918
Everybody was under age. I don't
care whether you were drinking or not.
338
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:40,411
You know if anything happened to these
kids, Puff and I would be responsible?
339
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:47,629
OK. I'm sorry, OK? I
guess I wasn't thinking.
340
00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:50,699
You should have, but now you're
gonna have a month to think about it,
341
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,701
'cause that's how
long you're grounded.
342
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:55,270
A month? That's right. A month.
343
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:57,439
You might as well
begin right now
344
00:19:57,463 --> 00:20:00,342
by cleaning this mess up.
345
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,511
Mr. Taylor. Hi.
346
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:06,403
Page and I were just in here looking for
the... vacuum. Is this where you keep it?
347
00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:09,606
Get out here, Jason.
348
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:15,424
I want the truth, and I want it right
now. One chance to come clean.
349
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:18,448
Are you or are you
not a Tool Time fan?
350
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:25,589
I've never seen
the show in my life.
351
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:32,663
(imitates Tin Man) Now I know I
have a heart, because it's broken.
352
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,949
Good morning. Morning.
353
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,619
I see you're still
clutching that award.
354
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:46,421
I didn't realize
I had it with me.
355
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:49,725
You took it in the
shower this morning.
356
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,928
You know, it took me a long time
to get this. This means a lot to me.
357
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:56,331
I know, honey, and
I think it's real cute.
358
00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:59,735
I just hope that we don't have
to sleep with it again tonight.
359
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:03,606
No. I'm gonna
make it a little bed.
360
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,808
Where's Brad?
361
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:07,809
Oh.
362
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,911
He's out raking the yard.
363
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:12,314
Then I'm gonna have
him clean the attic.
364
00:21:12,338 --> 00:21:15,784
You think he's actually gonna
learn anything from all this?
365
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:17,324
When you did
something wrong and your
366
00:21:17,348 --> 00:21:19,221
parents punished you,
did you learn anything?
367
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:22,124
No. Except to try
harder not to get caught.
368
00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:24,793
Yeah. Same with me.
369
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:27,362
This is the point in my life
my mother was waiting for.
370
00:21:27,386 --> 00:21:31,955
(feminine voice) One day I hope
you have a little boy just like you!
371
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,172
My mom said the
exact same thing.
372
00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:40,442
I can't believe it's
actually come true.
373
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,045
So what do we do?
374
00:21:43,069 --> 00:21:46,748
I guess we just keep trying to
be the best parents we can be,
375
00:21:46,772 --> 00:21:48,884
have a little faith...
376
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:54,445
hope that someday he
has a kid just like him.
377
00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:00,562
When I started
out in this business,
378
00:22:00,586 --> 00:22:03,520
well, I... I lived in
a hole in the wall.
379
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:07,870
But...
380
00:22:07,894 --> 00:22:10,405
Well, I want to
say, did I give up?
381
00:22:10,429 --> 00:22:14,143
Did I run away with my
tail between my legs?
382
00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:16,511
No! No! I went on...
383
00:22:16,535 --> 00:22:19,648
And on and on and on.
384
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:22,317
From both of us, thanks
very much. And good night.
385
00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:23,621
Thank you.
385
00:22:24,305 --> 00:23:24,698
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