1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,448
(sleigh bells jingle)
2
00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:07,483
Does everybody
know what time it is?
3
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,152
(all) Tool Time!
4
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,187
That's right. Binford
Tools is proud to present
5
00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:14,780
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor! Whoo!
6
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:22,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
7
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,302
Thank you, Heidi.
Thank you, everyone.
8
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:28,204
I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
9
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:32,775
And you all know my assistant Al
"Be Quarantined for Christmas" Borland.
10
00:00:32,799 --> 00:00:36,580
Today, Al and I start on
our week-long salute...
11
00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:37,947
(electricity surges)
12
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,850
to electricity.
13
00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:42,185
That's right, and that's
why we're wearing
14
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:45,989
the flash suits worn by
professional electricians.
15
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:49,459
You can take up to 20,000
volts and not get electrocuted.
16
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:50,783
Yeah. But, Al...
17
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:56,332
But they look so
darn cool, don't they?
18
00:00:56,356 --> 00:01:00,392
It's like the '90s way of saying,
"Hey, I'm not gonna get fried."
19
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:05,808
Notice Tim's
flame-resistant parka
20
00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:10,535
and color-coordinated
insulated gloves.
21
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:15,919
It boasts a safety helmet
with UV face shield,
22
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:20,523
and is tastefully accessorized
by this matching tote bag.
23
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:22,792
You might want to wear these
24
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:26,096
when you put up your
Christmas lights this weekend.
25
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:32,402
Actually, I'm way ahead of you.
26
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:35,205
With this outfit, I can safely
replace my measly seven-watt bulbs
27
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:38,297
with these 500-watt
bad boys right here, huh?
28
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,678
You could light up
an airport runway
29
00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:45,215
with that much
wattage on your roof.
30
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:48,218
Well, maybe it's time for old
St. Nick to trade in that old sleigh
31
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:53,090
for the new Boeing
777 fly-by-wire.
32
00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:56,526
Tim, where are you gonna get
enough juice to run something like this?
33
00:01:56,550 --> 00:02:01,620
Can you believe he asked The Tool
Man that? Heidi, my generator, please.
34
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:06,770
Here you go, Tim.
35
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,259
Oh-oh-oh-oh.
36
00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:13,265
You want to plug
it in for me, Al?
37
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,615
I don't think so, Tim.
38
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,373
OK, then I'll do it.
39
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,547
All right, Heidi,
hit the switch!
40
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:38,068
All right, Tim. That's
enough. Tim? Turn it off!
41
00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:41,604
Oh, Heidi, get that
switch. Turn it off, Tim!
42
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,273
Turn it off! Oh!
43
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:46,832
That was a lot brighter than
I thought it was gonna be, Al.
44
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:52,303
Yes, it was, Tim.
45
00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:48,772
All right. Great news, guys.
46
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:53,109
This year, you're gonna help me
beat Doc Johnson in the lighting contest.
47
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:56,145
Cool. I can't believe
you're letting us help.
48
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:59,616
Well, you've earned it.
49
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,819
You're a year older, more
mature, more responsible.
50
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:05,288
Since you're going out of
town, you have no choice.
51
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:06,989
Hey, hey, hey.
52
00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:09,526
What have I always taught
you what Christmas is all about?
53
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:13,985
Beating the pants off an 80-year-old
proctologist in a lighting contest.
54
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:16,733
That's the spirit.
55
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,035
Will we get to put
up the manger?
56
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,972
No. I'll put up the manger when
I get home. That's my specialty.
57
00:04:21,996 --> 00:04:24,629
Last year, your specialty
fell through the roof.
58
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:28,211
I got the quirks
worked out. All right?
59
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:31,414
Got the generator, string of lights
from work. They're set up there.
60
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:35,151
If any more electrical work needs
to be done, I want Brad to do it.
61
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,675
How come he gets to do
it? 'Cause he's the oldest.
62
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,594
And I'm the only one
that can fit into Dad's suit.
63
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,663
Aren't you supposed to be
getting ready to go to the airport?
64
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:49,866
I am ready. I'm
just waiting for Al.
65
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:53,569
I just don't understand why you have
to go away the day before Christmas.
66
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,404
We've been through this before.
67
00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:57,507
Binford is the proud sponsor of
this year's winterfest in Kinross,
68
00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:00,209
and Al and I play
very important roles.
69
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:04,535
Tim, you are a grand
marshal of an elf parade!
70
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:13,223
Even little green people
need a leader, honey.
71
00:05:13,247 --> 00:05:17,794
Well, I don't know how you can
leave me for a bunch of elves.
72
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:21,698
I'll be home before dinner. I'm not
gonna go to the pointy-shoe banquet.
73
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,088
(doorbell rings)
74
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,104
Hi, Ilene! Hi, Al!
Merry Christmas!
75
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,173
Hi, Ilene. Hi, Jill.
76
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:33,476
I brought the ingredients to make
my famous pfeffernusse cookies.
77
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,778
Wait till you get your hands
on Ilene's pfeffernusse.
78
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:38,814
I'd like to, but I'm a
one-pfeffernusse guy.
79
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,183
(beeping)
80
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:42,385
Oh, that's my beeper.
I wonder who that is.
81
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:43,709
(all) Your mother.
82
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:48,091
Can I use your
phone? (Jill) Yeah, sure.
83
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:51,360
That's the fourth time she's
beeped him this morning.
84
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:55,097
I can imagine Al's mother would
put stress on any relationship.
85
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:58,868
Al's mother could put stress
on a 20-ton steel beam.
86
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:03,205
I'm so glad she's visiting
his brother for the holidays.
87
00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:05,407
We'll finally be alone
on New Year's Eve.
88
00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:07,476
Al booked us a romantic weekend
89
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:10,013
at the Hotel Trentwood.
90
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:14,050
You're coming back
early? New Year's Eve?
91
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:18,154
No. Ilene and I aren't doing anything
special. No, we'd love to have you.
92
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:19,889
OK, great!
93
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:23,293
Al, I can't believe you!
94
00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:26,362
I thought we were gonna
be alone for a change.
95
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:30,266
Once again, your mother has
to wedge herself between us.
96
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:33,102
That's a hell of
a big wedge. Tim!
97
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:36,873
Help me fix the fire, and
we'll let them work this out.
98
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,942
Al, we're in a hurry. Shh.
99
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:42,779
You know, Ilene, I resent your
attitude towards my mother.
100
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,848
She's a wonderful giving woman
101
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:47,217
who lights up all
the lives she touches.
102
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:52,589
Oh, please! I am so sick of you
putting your mother up on a pedestal.
103
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:56,548
You got to admire him for having
the strength to hoist her up there.
104
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:07,025
Oh, my God. I'm
turning into you.
105
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:12,976
It's kind of fun, isn't it?
106
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,912
You know, and
that's another reason
107
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,047
why Ilene shouldn't be upset
108
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,683
at Mother joining
us for New Year's.
109
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:22,852
You know, after a
couple of Rob Roys,
110
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:27,056
mother can be quite
the party animal.
111
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,758
Here are your drinks.
112
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,694
One ginger ale, one martini -
113
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:34,097
double olives on the side.
114
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,721
Thanks very much. Thank you.
115
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:41,092
Oh, I suppose mother
can be needy, but...
116
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:47,165
how can I turn my back on the woman
who nurtured me from the womb?
117
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:57,453
I'm just thankful that I
have a friend like you
118
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,957
that will lend me
a supportive ear...
119
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,696
That has a green olive in it!
120
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,532
This just means the barf
bag wasn't big enough
121
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,934
to fit over my head.
122
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:14,937
I don't why Ilene
is acting like this.
123
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:18,274
Oh, God, maybe
the plane will crash.
124
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:21,043
I have a good mind not to give
Ilene her Christmas present.
125
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:24,514
And I had a necklace
made especially for her
126
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,616
out of coins that she collected
127
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:31,387
when she went to Stockholm
for the gingivitis symposium.
128
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:35,658
You gave her spare change
from a bloody-gum convention?
129
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:38,962
Yes. I'm sure it was
a more thoughtful gift
130
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:42,665
than what you got Jill,
if you got her anything.
131
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,734
You couldn't be
further from the truth.
132
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:48,137
Why do you think I volunteered
to lead an elf parade in Kinross?
133
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,428
Same reason as
me - the prestige.
134
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:55,277
No. Her gift is up there.
135
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:57,714
Kinross has one of the best
specialty bookstores in Michigan.
136
00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:00,483
I ordered a book. It didn't come
in time to deliver by Christmas,
137
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:02,485
so I gotta go get it.
138
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:03,586
What did you order?
139
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,354
A first edition -
Freud's essays.
140
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,957
She'll love this. It'll be a
Christmas she never forgets.
141
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,993
(pilot) Attention, passengers,
142
00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:13,262
the Kinross Airport's been
closed due to heavy storm activity.
143
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:17,065
This flight will be
diverted to Alpena.
144
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:18,924
(passengers moan)
145
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,640
Excuse me. Could you tell
us where the main terminal is?
146
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,347
Take two giant steps forward.
147
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:54,003
Is there still a chance
we can make it to Kinross?
148
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,805
I don't see how.
149
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:58,207
There'll be no more flights
in or out until the storm's over.
150
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,276
But this is an emergency!
151
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:04,247
The hospital has a special
helicopter. What's the emergency?
152
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,738
We're leading an elf parade.
153
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:13,456
Try me again when
you're donating a kidney.
154
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,726
We really have to get there. Is
there a car-rental counter here?
155
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,282
Of course.
156
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:26,635
Now, what kind of
car would you like?
157
00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:29,427
We're running a
special on convertibles.
158
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,444
It's 4 degrees outside.
159
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,535
Then I'd advise you
to leave the top up.
160
00:10:39,872 --> 00:10:42,518
Could you give us a map so
we could find our way to Kinross?
161
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,687
No problem.
162
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:47,523
I don't think the map is
going to do you much good.
163
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:50,727
Why not? The roads are closed.
164
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:54,430
Well, why are we renting a
car if we can't drive it anywhere?
165
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:58,022
I was wondering the
same thing myself.
166
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:06,074
This is just great. Stuck here in
the airport, and Jill's gift is in Kinross.
167
00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:08,210
Is there anyplace I can
look for a book here?
168
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:10,279
We have some
books in our gift shop.
169
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,670
And the gift shop would be...?
170
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,424
OK, can I see
some of your books?
171
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:24,548
Sorry. We're closed
for the holidays.
172
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:37,273
There's no way we'll
make it to the elf parade.
173
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:40,309
So we're trying to get a plane back to
Detroit as soon as the storm clears here.
174
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,712
I knew this would happen.
You'll miss Christmas Eve!
175
00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:45,080
I've never missed a Christmas Eve,
and tonight's not gonna be the night.
176
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:47,183
Whatever it takes,
I'm getting home.
177
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:51,254
Well, I hope so. The boys will be
really disappointed when I tell them.
178
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,322
Wait. Hold on a second.
Guys, it's your father.
179
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:56,258
He's stranded in the middle of
nowhere. He may not make it back tonight.
180
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,795
(all) All right! Cool!
181
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,264
Wait a second!
182
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:03,399
You don't want to see your
father on Christmas Eve?
183
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:06,569
It's not that. We just want to do
the lighting contest by ourselves.
184
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,737
(Tim) What's going on?
185
00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:13,242
The boys are crushed.
I'm trying to comfort them.
186
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,945
Put Randy on the phone.
Tim, I need to talk to Ilene.
187
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:19,281
Hold on. I gotta tell Randy how to
put the runway lights on the manger.
188
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,172
This is more important.
189
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:25,710
Put Ilene on the phone, please.
190
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,426
Sugar pumpkin?
191
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:33,617
No, sweet pea. I'll
get sugar pumpkin.
192
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:36,833
Al?
193
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:39,034
I think I have a solution
for New Year's Eve
194
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:41,203
that's gonna make
everybody happy.
195
00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:43,205
You do? Yes.
196
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:45,474
Mother rings in the
New Year's with us,
197
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:48,444
but then we put her in a cab, and
we have the weekend to ourselves.
198
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:51,046
Al, you are missing
the whole point.
199
00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:53,448
You are 37 years old.
200
00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:56,185
Don't you think it's
time to cut the cord?
201
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:57,320
Cut the cord?
202
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:59,722
Cut the cord?!
Don't cut the cord.
203
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,624
It's the only extension cord
that'll handle those lights.
204
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,659
This is not about
your stupid lights!
205
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:05,962
My relationship is
hanging in the balance!
206
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,231
So the extension cord's OK?
207
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:11,100
Al, you are gonna
have to make a choice.
208
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,358
It is either me or your mother.
209
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,330
Ilene hung up.
210
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,012
There's got to be some way
out of here. Something else.
211
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,646
How about a snowmobile?
212
00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:26,415
That would work... OK.
213
00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,985
If we had one.
214
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,354
How about a dog sled?
215
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:34,323
I've got a dog, and my
grandson has a sled.
216
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:35,391
Perfect.
217
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,748
Of course, my dog's a poodle.
218
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:46,502
Good. Thank you.
219
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,838
I got some good news. The
storm has let up in Kinross.
220
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,039
All right. Great!
221
00:13:51,063 --> 00:13:54,976
Unfortunately, it's
getting worse here.
222
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,713
In fact, it might not let
up for a couple of days.
223
00:13:57,737 --> 00:14:01,784
We'll have to sleep here in the
airport? There are some hotels in town.
224
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:04,019
Well, we'd better
hurry up and book one.
225
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,154
Sorry. They were
booked up hours ago.
226
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:08,990
But I rent out a lovely
room in my house.
227
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:12,027
OK, I'll bite. How much?
228
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:15,665
It's going for $45 a night. OK.
229
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:19,056
Except in storm
season. Then it's 200.
230
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,071
You know, pal,
231
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,707
I'm gonna alert the Better
Business Bureau about you.
232
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:26,296
Go ahead.
233
00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:42,479
Can I help you?
234
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:48,463
This is the worst
Christmas of my life!
235
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:52,201
I'm stuck in this dinky airport!
My relationship is collapsing!
236
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:56,072
And I've cleaned out every cheese
puff in this stupid vending machine!
237
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:58,474
And we have noplace to sleep.
238
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:01,611
Hey, ma'am. Ma'am,
you live around here.
239
00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:04,714
Could my friend and I sleep at
your house? We'll pay you money.
240
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,203
Perverts.
241
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,907
See you at home, Mom.
242
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:20,329
Why are you
putting that up there?
243
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:24,634
We had a little
Wise Man accident.
244
00:15:24,658 --> 00:15:29,138
Yeah. Now we have two
Wise Men and a clown.
245
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:30,940
So now the three Wise Men
246
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,644
come bearing gold,
frankincense, and a seltzer bottle.
247
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:37,612
All right, he's all tied up.
248
00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:39,949
Bozo's on the roof.
249
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:41,984
Guys, why don't
you take a break?
250
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,986
Ilene's got cookies for you.
251
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:46,022
If they taste salty,
don't say anything.
252
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,446
She's been crying
into the batter.
253
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:57,300
I think I'll just
have some milk.
254
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,301
Well, hidey-ho-ho-ho,
neighborette,
255
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,103
and a Merry Christmas.
256
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,905
Maybe on your side of the fence.
257
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:05,641
I got boys crawling on the
roof, Tim's stuck in Alpena
258
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:09,100
and a depressed orthodontist
crying into her pfeffernusse.
259
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:17,353
Tim is stuck in Alpena, huh?
That is such a lovely town.
260
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:20,417
I have a good friend who works
there. He's a clerk at the airport.
261
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,830
I'm so disappointed.
262
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:30,899
I was hoping to give
Tim his present tonight.
263
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,801
I got him something special.
264
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,738
Well, I assume it has something
to do with a car or a tool.
265
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:38,474
Oh, yeah, both. I got him
a set of tools for the car
266
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,809
and this thing called
a power inverter.
267
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:44,146
It allows you to plug your
tools right into a car lighter.
268
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:47,849
If he gets stuck in traffic, instead
of swearing, he can build something.
269
00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:49,919
(chuckles)
270
00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:51,988
That sounds like the
perfect gift for Tim.
271
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:54,890
Are you and Judith spending the
holidays together? Yes, indeedy.
272
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:57,392
This is the first Christmas
we've spent together,
273
00:16:57,416 --> 00:17:02,364
and I am so looking forward to giving
her the sweater that I knitted for her.
274
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:04,433
You knitted her a sweater?
275
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:08,504
Mm-hmm. Right after I sheared
the sheep and spun the wool.
276
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,105
Wow!
277
00:17:10,129 --> 00:17:12,274
Then, later on, I'm
gonna fix her dinner.
278
00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:14,378
What are you making? Lamb chops.
279
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:24,587
OK. Thanks. I've got
some good news for you.
280
00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:26,522
In the spirit of Christmas Eve,
281
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:30,993
I'm slashing the price
of my room back to $45.
282
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:34,418
In other words, the
storm is letting up.
283
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:38,600
Yes. Yes, it is.
284
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:41,303
You should be able to get
a flight in about 15 minutes.
285
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,239
Finally.
286
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:46,675
Would you gentlemen care
for some flight insurance?
287
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:47,798
(both) No!
288
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:52,848
It looks like we'll make it
home in time for Christmas.
289
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,649
The only problem is,
290
00:17:54,673 --> 00:17:57,053
I still don't know what to do
about Ilene and my mother.
291
00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:00,822
How can I choose between the woman
who means more to me than anything
292
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:02,246
or my girlfriend?
293
00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:11,100
On the other hand,
she is my mother.
294
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:14,703
But on the other hand, Ilene
could be the mother of my children.
295
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:15,905
On the other hand...
296
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,841
Al, that's eight hands.
297
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:22,812
Why don't you take one
of them and slap yourself?
298
00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:24,213
(beeping)
299
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:27,516
Excuse me. Are you
by any chance a doctor?
300
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,207
No. He's a mama's boy.
301
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,859
OK, let me ask you a question.
302
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:38,861
Have you ever thought
about having kids?
303
00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:40,629
Of course.
304
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:44,199
That's not gonna
happen with your mother.
305
00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,268
Tim, you don't understand.
306
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:49,204
Just try me, will ya?
307
00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:51,473
I made a promise
before my dad died
308
00:18:51,497 --> 00:18:55,077
that I would take
care of my mother.
309
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:57,913
And I just... I can't
turn my back on her.
310
00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,849
No one's asking you to do that.
311
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:03,752
I think Ilene just wants to feel
312
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:06,255
that she won't take a
backseat to your mother.
313
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:09,891
I mean, is she, or is she not, the
most important woman in your life?
314
00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:13,762
She's the most important
woman under 50.
315
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,965
You gotta do better than
that, Al. I don't know if I can!
316
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,802
When you made that
promise to your dad,
317
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,537
don't you think he
would've wanted you
318
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:27,275
to fall in love with a
woman and have a family?
319
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:29,344
You're right. I know I'm right.
320
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:32,014
If your dad were here now,
what would he say to you?
321
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:35,572
"Al, stay with Mother.
I'm going to the track."
322
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:44,727
I see your point. I think I have
to set some limits with my mother.
323
00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:46,394
Yes.
324
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:48,897
And I'm gonna start by
getting rid of this stupid beeper.
325
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,032
All right.
326
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:51,499
(pilot) Ladies and gentlemen,
327
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,903
we're approaching the
Detroit metropolitan area.
328
00:19:53,927 --> 00:19:55,403
Unfortunately,
329
00:19:55,427 --> 00:19:58,073
visibility is so low that
we are unable to land.
330
00:19:58,097 --> 00:19:59,674
(groans)
331
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:02,878
It looks like we may
be diverted to Toledo.
332
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:07,015
This is unbelievable! I won't be
home for the first time at Christmas.
333
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,184
I have no gift for Jill.
334
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,320
I won't see the boys'
Christmas lights.
335
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:13,322
Have some faith.
There's still time.
336
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:16,747
It's hopeless. The kids'll
be lighting it up now anyway.
337
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,011
Wait a minute.
338
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:39,415
A tremendous beam of light
has just broken through the fog.
339
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:43,586
That's my house!
Those are our lights!
340
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:46,287
I've heard from the tower
that we now have visibility
341
00:20:46,311 --> 00:20:48,924
and will be able
to land after all.
342
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:51,293
All right! Hey!
343
00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:54,897
If he lands there, he's gonna
land right on the manger.
344
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,487
Wait a minute.
345
00:20:58,957 --> 00:21:01,492
What's that clown doing
next to baby Jesus?
346
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:13,048
I can't believe we won
the lighting contest.
347
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:15,512
And helped land a plane.
348
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,588
Well, this just proves
one thing, guys.
349
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,680
Dad's been holding
us back all these years.
350
00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:28,030
Oh, Al. I'm so glad
we're back together again.
351
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:30,599
Me, too. And, you know,
352
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,457
it was the easiest
decision of my life.
353
00:21:41,533 --> 00:21:43,178
It's a power inverter.
354
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:45,614
All these tools for the
car. I love this. Thanks.
355
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,983
OK, my turn. All right.
You're gonna love it.
356
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:51,053
Undo this... all right.
357
00:21:51,077 --> 00:21:52,476
It's a beeper!
358
00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:01,463
Well, I figured, you know,
359
00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:03,498
if anytime I wanted
to tell you I love you,
360
00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:05,634
I can just do it 24
hours a day now.
361
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,057
(beeping)
362
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:13,274
Gee, Tim! I'd love to tell
you how touched I am,
363
00:22:13,298 --> 00:22:15,618
but I have to call Al's mother.
364
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:21,850
We'll have to sleep
here in the airport?
365
00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:23,140
Afraid not.
366
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:31,360
It's, like, we can't have people
walking around outside the aircraft.
367
00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:34,229
What are you gonna
do, drive to Detroit?
368
00:22:34,253 --> 00:22:37,533
Pilot, there's people outside of
the airplane. You're way too low.
369
00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:40,569
You should be able to get
a flight in about 15 minutes.
370
00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:42,971
Finally.
371
00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:45,808
Would you gentlemen care
for some flight insurance?
372
00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:47,543
(both) No!
373
00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:51,468
OK, but if your plane
crashes, you'll be sorry.
373
00:22:52,305 --> 00:23:52,236
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