Oh, that must be Bud's new truck.
I told you he was getting one. Yeah.
Hi, Mr. Harper.
So, what brings you out on location?
What brings me out here
is I'm your boss and I sign your paycheck.
And what lovely penmanship you have, sir.
Al, nobody likes a suck-up.
Oh, by the way, Tim,
thanks for the custom gear-shift knob
you got me for my truck.
It's OK, boss.
Bud, there's a telephone call for you inside.
Thanks, Heidi. Sure.
All right, Al, once we go on the air,
I'll go up and nail that facia board
and you'll give the tips on winter painting, all right?
Be careful. You don't want to drop anything on Bud's new truck.
Well, why don't you just move it?
Heidi, I'll need some masking tape. Sure. Here you go.
Thanks. Hey, Tim!
This new gear-shift knob doesn't have any numbers or letters on it.
Which one is Reverse?
Uh, over and down.
No, up and over that -
OK, my left. Your left would be -
My - My left.
Yeah.
Aah!
Tim! Are you all right?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The truck broke my fall.
(groans) Oh, no, look at this truck.
Do you think we can clean the paint off before Bud sees it?
Oh, no!
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Hey, Mark, lookin' good.
Thanks. I only got one more decal to put on, and I'm done.
How are you doin'? What do you think?
Doesn't really look like a Spitfire.
That's because it's a combination Spitfire and Mustang.
I don't what to call it - a Spitstang or a Musfire.
I've never seen mag wheels on a plane before.
Or a real spoiler and dual exhaust. Huh?
Why would you need all that stuff?
In case you pull up next to a guy on a cloud who wants to race, that's why.
Hi, guys. Hi, honey.
Dad and I finished building our planes.
Oh, wow.
Mark, your Spitfire looks great.
How about mine?
I think you should spit on it and set it on fire.
I think this is the best one I've made so far.
I'm gonna go put it with my others. It's beautiful.
I'm so glad you found a hobby.
It is so great he finally found something he likes doing.
No one could be happier than me.
One thing I've always said about my boys - if they can't learn to love cars,
please, God, let them love something with an engine.
You know where you could take him? The Yankee Air Museum.
I just read they're having some kind of special exhibit.
That's a great idea. I'll take him Saturday.
I won't have to suffer through one of your piano lessons again.
Excuse me. Did you say "suffer"?
Well, suffer in a good way.
We all know that... suffering makes us stronger.
Tim, do you have any idea how lame that was?
I'm never sure till I'm done.
(♪ Beethoven's "Moonlight" Sonata)
(plays wrong note)
(wrong chords)
(wrong notes)
You know, I really need to get this piano tuned.
I don't think it's the piano.
You obviously haven't been practicing.
Oh, yes, I have. Thirty minutes a day?
Yes. Every day?
Every day, almost.
Which means once a week.
And when she is playing, she's usually talking on the phone.
Complaining how annoying her teacher is.
Really?
No! No, not you. That's my psychology teacher.
Thanks a lot, boys. You've been a big help.
Hey, any time.
Jill, why do you want to play the piano?
Well, um, when I was a child,
everybody said that I showed a lot of promise.
Apparently that promise has been broken.
Are you saying I should just give up?
No, I'm saying that if you want to learn to play,
you have to commit to it and focus.
I am focused. I'm focused!
I just - I have a very hectic schedule.
I have three boys, and my husband is insane, and I go to school.
I had tons of homework this week - Can it!
I've been teaching for 50 years.
I've heard every excuse in the book.
"I broke a nail." "Dog ate my music."
"Had to go fight in World War II."
Fighting for your country is not a good excuse?
Not for me.
Jill, I have no tolerance for slackers.
If you want to be my student,
you have to practice 30 minutes every day
and focus, focus, focus.
You know, I love what you're doing with your hair.
(playing badly)
Man, I thought when you practice,
you're supposed to get better.
That only works if you have a little thing called talent.
You know, maybe it's just us.
(wrong notes)
It's not us.
Hey, I've got an idea. Come on.
Hey, Mom, the music sounds fantastic.
You think?
I actually thought I was listening to a radio.
Well, I still have the rest of the half-hour to do, you know.
I gotta play this... four more times.
That would be a big mistake.
Really? How come?
There is a danger in over-practicing.
There's a bigger danger
in trying to pull a fast one on your mother.
Now listen, guys, I'm going to play this until I get it right.
All right, but don't blame us
when you miss your grandchildren's weddings.
Sounds great, honey. I thought I was listening to the radio.
Brad and Randy already tried that.
Really? Did they try this?
If you don't stop playing that piano, I'm going to kill myself.
No, they didn't. How was the airplane museum?
The best. You should see what they have there, Mom.
A B-52 Stratofortress and our favorite -
an F-102 Delta Dagger, and best of all, no piano.
And they let us go up in one of those turboprops.
Ooh, one of those simulator things? No, a little plane.
You took him up in a little plane? (both) Yeah.
Those things are disasters waiting to happen.
They're like Tool Time with wings.
No, they're not.
Dad said I could take flying lessons
if you said it was OK.
Oh. Did he?
He might have.
So, what do you say?
I say that this is one of those things
your father and I need to discuss in private.
OK, but just remember,
I've never wanted to do anything more in my entire life.
Only you could turn a trip to the museum into a journey to death.
Before you get all bent out of shape,
let's just take a look at the facts in here. No, here is a fact.
There is no one who's going to convince me
that an 11-year-old child should be taking flying lessons.
They teach a lot of kids how to fly, a lot of them younger than Mark.
That doesn't make it safe.
They have a lot of sistis-sti-sis-stit-
There's sta-stistis- There's ta-ta-ta-
There's facts in here that show that flying a small plane
is safer than driving a car.
Well, sure, the way you drive.
Look, he'd be trained by a highly experienced instructor
who's logged over 1,00 hours in this plane.
I don't care if it's a million hours.
It only takes ten seconds to crash. Honey, honey, honey,
we in the aviation business...
don't use the word "crash."
It sounds so negative.
Well, honey, some of us think a plane going down in flames
is kind of a negative thing.
These planes are perfectly safe. They're checked.
Every 100 hours, they inspect the engine, the airframe.
Do they inspect the brains of the parents
who sign their kids up for these classes? Maybe. Read the brochure.
I haven't read the whole thing.
There is no way I'm gonna let Mark do this.
He's finally found something he likes to do.
He's got a hobby now. No, fishing is a hobby.
Building model planes - that's a hobby.
Flying kamikaze missions over Detroit - not a hobby.
Kamikaze missions?
You know what happens when a mother babies her son like this?
He turns into Al.
So, can I take flying lessons?
I'm sorry, honey, but your father and I discussed it,
and we decided that it's really not a good idea.
In other words, Mom said no and you caved.
I didn't cave. She thi-
She and I... think it'd be better if you got a little older
to take these lessons.
How old?
Ever heard of a man named Methuselah?
Hi there. Welcome back to a very special Tool Time.
Al, I guess we should move back to our interview area.
Better yet, let's have the interview area move to us.
Good idea. Heidi, the interview area, please.
Here you go, Tim.
Two years ago, we were fortunate enough
to have the crew of the Space Shuttle Endeavour.
Today we're honored to meet the crew
of the Space Shuttle Columbia.
(cheers and applause)
It's amazing that they're here, right?
Yes, it is, especially after you tried to steal
one of the Endeavour crew's space tools.
I borrowed it in case I was taking my family to the gas giant.
That would be Jupiter, not your mother.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's have a warm welcome
for the crew of the Space Shuttle Columbia.
(cheers and whistles)
First let's welcome Ken Bowersox,
who's been here with us before on Tool Time.
He was with Endeavour last time.
Welcome aboard. Thank you, Tim.
For the record, I'd like to say that you did try to steal that tool.
And for the record, I'd just like to say
"Bowersox" is still a real funny name.
Next to Ken is Cady Coleman.
(cheers and applause)
And next to her, Kathryn Thornton,
who's spent over 1,000 hours in space.
That's right, Tim.
Tim, and 21 of those hours were outside the cabin.
Anything to get away from Ken, huh?
No, Tim, we were doing things
like trying to repair the Hubble Space Telescope.
Aw, you don't have to cover for him.
And last but not least
Payload Specialists Fred Leslie and Al Sacco.
Let me ask a question I'm sure most of us want to know.
Do your mothers worry about you being in outer space? Ken?
No, my mom never has a problem with me orbiting around the Earth.
She only gets nervous when I fly in those small airplanes.
(mutters) ...Jill, I'm sure he's just kidding around.
So, Al, guess what I have in common with all these astronauts.
You've all had a fire lit under your butt
and shot into space?
Well, that, and a Ph.D.
If you remember a couple months ago, I got a Ph.D.
All the astronauts also have Ph.D.'s.
Actually, Tim, that's not true.
Everyone has one but me.
Well, isn't that a shame, Ken?
Do you guys razz him for not havin' a doctorate?
No, we don't, Tim. Why not?
'Cause he's the commander.
Fred, why don't you tell us a little something about what you guys did up there?
Al, we had a 16-day mission, where we
conducted a number of scientific experiments.
And we focused on things like the physics of fluids.
(chuckles) Give me a couple beers,
I'll teach you all you need to know about physics of fluids.
Then I guess our mission was completely unnecessary.
Before the astronauts went up in space,
I put a little care package together for NASA -
a special screwdriver I made
and some classic episodes of Tool Time.
They came in very handy. Who got to use the screwdriver?
That was me, and I brought along a videotape of me using it in space.
Thanks, Kathryn. Heidi, let's take a look at it.
Congratulations, Tim,
on your first intergalactic screwup.
Well, you enjoyed the Tool Time episodes, didn't ya?
We watched 'em every night. It really helped us unwind after a hard day in space.
(Tim) Let's take a look at that.
Ah, the Porta-Potti episode.
(Al on video) ...truly the unsung hero...
We never slept better, Tim.
(muted notes)
Brad!
Randy!
Yeah, Mom?
How do you explain this?
We were looking for the hamper
in the middle of the night,
and obviously we were a little off.
Am I that bad?
Let me put it this way.
Have you ever seen us pick up our dirty laundry before?
No, you're right, but now you can pick it up
and go put it on the washing machine, OK?
Hi, Mark.
You're still not talking to me?
Ohh, honey. Look, look.
I got you something really cool.
This is a P-38 Lightning. Keep it.
I don't care about planes anymore.
Well, couldn't you find another hobby?
Like what, stamp collecting?
Well, that'd be good. Or coins. Or paperweights.
I, as a child, collected butterflies.
I, as a child, could care less.
(grunts)
Wilson?
Well, hi-ho, good neighbor.
Are you trying to get pneumonia
or rehearsing for a production of No, No, Nanette?
No, no, no, Jill.
Have you ever heard of the Polar Bear Club?
Yeah, it's that group of maniacs that swim in the middle of winter.
Well, say hello to the head maniac.
Boy, this could be an invigorating hobby.
At least it's less dangerous than the one Mark wants to have.
He wants to take flying lessons.
Oh. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Uh-huh.
And Tim is trying to convince me of how safe it is.
As an experienced pilot, I can assure you
that learning with a licensed instructor is quite safe.
I didn't know you were a pilot. Oh, yes, indeedy.
I've logged over 1,000 hours since I flew spy planes during the war.
You were a spy?
Which war?
I'm not at liberty to say.
Well, I just hate the idea of Mark flying in those planes.
My father flew in those small military planes all the time...
Right... and even though it was peacetime,
my mother was always a basket case until he got back.
You know, we all were.
Well, Jill, from what you tell me of your family,
I am reminded of the behavior of baboons.
The studies have shown that the offspring of baboons
pick up their parents' fears
whether those fears are justified or not.
So you're saying that I'm afraid for Mark
because my mother projected her fears onto me.
Well, I can't say that for sure.
Jill, have you ever been up in a small plane?
Of course.
The Dumbo ride at Disney World.
Well, I think what would really help you
is to take a ride in a small aircraft
just to see how darn safe they really are.
I don't think so. I'd be too scared.
Well, are you really scared, or are you just echoing your mother's fears?
I don't know.
I'd hate to think that I was passing my fears on to the kids, though.
Thanks to their father, they're already afraid of glues, hammers
and anything in reverse.
Well, I'd be glad to take you up.
It's just that there are a few countries I can't fly over.
Which ones?
I'm not at liberty to say.
How am I doin', Wilson?
Very well.
Especially for someone who's never taken a flying lesson.
You seem to have a natural aptitude.
He sure does.
Hey, Mark, watch out for the skydiver by the crosswalk!
(laughs)
How's it goin' back there, Jill?
Pretty good!
It's not near as scary as I thought it would be.
Well, then perhaps you'd consider
removing your fingernails from my thigh.
Sorry.
This is really cool, isn't it, Mom?
Way cool!
Boy, you can sure see a lot of stuff.
Look, the Silverdome's over - Aah!
Whoops! Oh-oh.
What'd I do?
"Whoops" is not a word I want to hear
2,000 feet up in the air.
(engine dies)
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, what's happening?
Tim hit the mixture control, which caused the engine to die.
"Die" is even worse than "whoops"!
Don't panic, Jill.
I'll just readjust the mixture,
and I'll level the course.
There, that's better.
I'm sorry, everybody. Is there something I can do, Wilson?
Well, actually, Tim, there's a very special job I have for you.
Great. What is it? Take your hands...
Got 'em. Place them firmly under your butt...
OK.
And leave them there for the rest of the flight.
So, Mom, can I take flying lessons?
Yeah... as long as you leave your father home.
Wilson, can we land now?
Land? I never learned how to do that.
Oh, no.
He's kidding.
You're kiddin', right? I'm not at liberty to say.
(playing badly)
What happened to focus, focus, focus?
It went out the window, window, window.
Jill, you were supposed to practice every day.
I... I tried, I tried, but my kids,
they just kept stuffing their dirty laundry in my piano.
Laundry in the piano?
Yeah. Yeah.
Jill, if you weren't going to practice,
you might have spent the time
coming up with a better excuse.
You know, Bowersox, up in space, you may be commander,
but down here, I am... mission control.
You guys are good at getting out of tight situations?
Try this.
We'll be right back after these few messages from Binford.
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