1
00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:05,481
That finishes up the installation
of the sliding glass door.
2
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:09,218
And you want to be sure that
the door stile is parallel to the joint.
3
00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,722
This door is perfect.
4
00:00:11,746 --> 00:00:13,189
Good job, Al. Thank you, Tim.
5
00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:15,224
We also added a feature
I think you're gonna enjoy.
6
00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:18,662
At home your door always
stays open, allowing pesky insects
7
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:21,665
or that annoying
insurance salesman in.
8
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:25,202
That's why we've installed
the Binford 6100 Slide Master.
9
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:30,673
It automatically closes the door
once you've walked through it.
10
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,609
(cheers and applause)
11
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,032
Good.
12
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:38,148
As nice as that feature is,
13
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,683
there's always that energetic
mosquito that slides in.
14
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:44,121
Or a claims adjuster. Boom! They're in
and you don't even know about it. Right?
15
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:49,959
So I modified this bad boy to close
ten times faster than a normal one.
16
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:52,229
You did? Yes!
17
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,932
I used a small magnetic
diffuser from Binford, right?
18
00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:58,402
You just turn it up to
the speed you want.
19
00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:00,203
(whirring)
20
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:03,294
Ahh! All right.
Try it. Show them.
21
00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:10,714
Heidi, please
demonstrate the door.
22
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,250
Yeah, right.
23
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,940
All right. I'll do it.
24
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:23,126
Presto. You walk through
and the door shuts.
25
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,362
(crash)
26
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,664
(man yells)
27
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,899
When you install these at home,
28
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:34,404
you might want to
use shatterproof glass.
29
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:38,941
And a small part of your brain.
30
00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:41,211
That's it for the show.
Join us tomorrow
31
00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:43,346
when we show our segment,
"The Resourceful Tool Man."
32
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:46,182
And our discussion panel,
"Sump Pumps: How They Work..."
33
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:50,620
And are they the right thing
to wear with an evening gown?
34
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,811
(♪ "Tool Time" theme)
35
00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,363
Hey! Hey!
36
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,298
Great show, Tim.
Thank you, boss.
37
00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:05,068
Tell that to the guy you just
sent to the emergency room.
38
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,536
Oh, boy. Hey, Dave!
39
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,073
Use my name down there
you'll get the Tim Taylor suite.
40
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:11,140
Put pressure on that.
41
00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:14,778
Use some salve
and ointments on that.
42
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:19,683
You know, Tim, it occurred to me that
you and I have never gone out socially.
43
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:23,786
If you're asking me out on
a date, I'll need more time.
44
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,189
I gotta get my hair
done or something.
45
00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:28,525
Would you and Jill like to go
bowling with me and my wife tonight?
46
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:31,128
And afterwards we
can grab some dinner.
47
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:32,762
It sounds like it's
right up my alley.
48
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,131
Yeah, all right. OK. Good deal.
49
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,067
You know, Ilene
and I love to bowl.
50
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:39,236
And, you know,
we're free tonight.
51
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,326
You're still free tonight.
52
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:49,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-
53
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:35,525
Hey, Randy.
54
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,926
Hey.
55
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,329
You don't have a
date tonight, right?
56
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,553
Why do you always
assume I have no life?
57
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:44,634
Well, do you have plans?
58
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:47,037
Totally free. What's up?
59
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:49,572
Angela wants you to go
out with her younger sister.
60
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:52,808
You'd really like Jessica. She
thinks you're cute, and she's cute.
61
00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:55,211
She takes after my dad's side
of the family, which is a drag
62
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:59,182
because they're all alcoholics and
drink themselves into an early grave.
63
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:00,317
Is she anything like you?
64
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,418
Yeah. People say
we're really alike.
65
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:04,554
Randy, it's your lucky day.
66
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,555
She'll be so disappointed
if you don't go out with her,
67
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,792
so just think about it 'cause
it would mean a lot to her...
68
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,560
OK, OK! I'll, like,
totally think about it.
69
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,263
Great.
70
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:15,632
Don't worry. He'll come around.
71
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,801
Hi. Hi.
72
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:22,105
Bye. Bye.
73
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:25,007
What was all that
about? Nothing.
74
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:28,111
Brad and Angela are trying to
get me to go out with her little sister.
75
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:32,215
I'm kind of worried she's
gonna be as annoying as Angela.
76
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:35,318
Now, Randy, don't
be so judgmental.
77
00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:39,055
Hey! I am not the one who
said Angela's a giant fingernail
78
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:42,047
and the world is her blackboard.
79
00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:51,690
That was a private conversation
I was having with your father.
80
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:57,874
Hey. Oh!
81
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,542
Hi. Hi.
82
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,544
Put away the fish, get
out your bowling shoes.
83
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:04,014
We're going bowling, having
dinner with Bud and his wife tonight.
84
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:05,781
Tonight? I can't go tonight.
85
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:08,251
I have that lecture for
my Abnormal Psych class.
86
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:10,820
You don't have to go to that.
You know what they're gonna say.
87
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:14,257
"There's a lot of crazy people out there
and there's nothing we can do about it."
88
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,860
You're living proof of that.
89
00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:20,563
This means an awful lot to me.
No, honey. I can't just drop everything
90
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,766
because Bud wants to go bowling.
91
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:25,502
This is not about bowling. This
is about my future with Binford.
92
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:28,471
I got big plans. This could be
the start of the Tim Taylor empire.
93
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:32,709
The Tim Taylor empire? (laughs)
94
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,011
Come on. Why does it
just have to be Tool Time?
95
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,846
How about Car Time?
96
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:41,751
And we could add the spin-off,
Tool Time: The Next Generation.
97
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,487
And how about
an interactive Tim?
98
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,357
I've been looking for
one of those for years.
99
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:50,560
Come on. When an important
guy like Bud asks you to socialize,
100
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:53,062
you do it because it's
good for your career.
101
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,331
Well, what about my lecture?
102
00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:57,199
Can't you find
somebody to videotape it?
103
00:05:57,223 --> 00:06:00,704
I mean, how many times have I
asked you to do something like this?
104
00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:04,074
If I do this for you,
what do I get out of it?
105
00:06:04,098 --> 00:06:06,042
The satisfaction of knowing
you're on the ground floor
106
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,533
of the beginning of
the Tim Taylor empire.
107
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:12,404
How about a watch?
108
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,155
All right!
109
00:06:20,179 --> 00:06:26,061
Do you ever wonder how many feet have
been in a pair of rented bowling shoes?
110
00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:28,486
No. But my guess would
be an even number.
111
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,671
Tonight, if you don't mind,
112
00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:37,240
let's not talk about
your psychology class.
113
00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:41,811
I want to make sure
Bud's having a good time.
114
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,948
You're gonna tell me what I
can and cannot say to the man?
115
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,916
Just a suggestion, you know?
116
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,117
I want to make sure
that he's in a good mood
117
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,686
to listen to my
ideas. I don't know.
118
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:54,123
If you're gonna treat me this
way, maybe I shouldn't have come.
119
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,926
I'm sorry. I didn't mean
that. I'm just a little nervous.
120
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,461
I want everything to go well.
I need you, I want you here.
121
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:03,632
I mean, the empire wouldn't be
an empire without an empress.
122
00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:05,802
With you by my side... Hey, Tim!
123
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:09,572
Hey, you know the rest.
124
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,207
Hey, Bud. Hey, Tim!
125
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:12,609
Tim, how are you doing?
126
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,210
Tim, Jill, this is my wife Jean.
127
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,713
Hi. It's nice to
meet you. You too.
128
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:20,149
Finally, Jean. I feel like I know
you from watching Tool Time.
129
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:21,885
Jean's a big fan of the show.
130
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,319
Really? Oh, yeah.
131
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:27,479
I just love the clever way
you pretend to be so inept.
132
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:33,463
It's a gift.
133
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:37,300
So, how are the psychology
classes going, Jill?
134
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:41,438
Well, I'd tell you, but I don't
want to ruin your evening.
135
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:43,172
I understand. School is tough.
136
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,241
When I went back
to get my degree,
137
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:47,810
I had to go at night because
I was working full-time.
138
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:50,713
Really? I never thought
I'd make it, but here I am.
139
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:53,349
Yeah. Bowling with the Tool Man.
140
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:57,008
That's the dream
that kept me going.
141
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,351
Yes! Yes!
142
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:13,770
Three strikes in a
row! I can't believe it!
143
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:16,372
How far are we ahead
now? You're up by ten.
144
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,941
Do you have to ask
after every frame?
145
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:21,277
Yes, I do.
146
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,913
Bud, will you
relax? I am relaxed.
147
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,682
I'm hungry. Can
we order some food?
148
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:28,717
Yeah. Oh, no, no. I don't
allow food on the lanes.
149
00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:31,821
Somebody always
spills something.
150
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,823
You don't allow it?
151
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,824
We understand. Of
course we understand.
152
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,027
You're watching your
weight anyway, honey. It's OK.
153
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,163
Excuse me?
154
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,732
Did you say something
about my weight?
155
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:48,204
I said, "Let's wait.
And we'll eat later."
156
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:51,807
I'm gonna go get myself
a big old tub of popcorn
157
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:54,143
with lots of extra butter.
158
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,278
Well, since we're
taking a break,
159
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,979
I'm getting myself
a new rosin bag.
160
00:08:57,003 --> 00:09:02,018
And when I come back, you're
not gonna know what hit you.
161
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,686
What's the matter with him?
162
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:07,991
You'll have to excuse Bud.
He's... He's very competitive.
163
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:10,593
Well, that's how
guys like us are.
164
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:14,163
Yeah, but when Bud loses, he
holds a grudge. What do you mean?
165
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:19,268
Well, last year the vice president of
his textile company out-bowled him.
166
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:22,005
Bud transferred him to
the manufacturing division.
167
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:24,641
So? In Pakistan.
168
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:27,043
Huh?
169
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:30,179
Excuse me. I'm gonna go bowl
real quick before Bud gets back.
170
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,247
That way I can avoid the -
171
00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:36,273
"Honey, let me show you
what you did wrong" speech.
172
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,926
Can I talk to you
about your bowling?
173
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:47,263
I am bowling the best
game of my life. Isn't it great?
174
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,652
It is. Can you stop?
175
00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:51,267
What?
176
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:55,138
Well, apparently, Bud is a
bad loser. He holds a grudge.
177
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:57,139
So, you want me to throw
178
00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:01,010
the best game of my life
because Bud is a sore loser?
179
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:05,336
You used to do it with the boys when
they played Go Fish. When they were five!
180
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:10,075
Go, honey.
181
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:18,094
Hey, look at that!
Yeah! All right!
182
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,628
Strike!
183
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:23,221
Wait a minute. Aren't you
rooting for the wrong team?
184
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:27,403
You're not Jill.
185
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,238
That's Jill.
186
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,107
Must be the lighting.
187
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,609
Remember that tip I gave
you about bowling correctly?
188
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,545
I'm not interested in your tips.
189
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,936
Ripped your pants. Oh!
190
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,712
So, Jessica, did
you like the pizza?
191
00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:13,616
Well, I... She
totally loves pizza.
192
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,251
Remember that time we were
in that Chinese restaurant?
193
00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:18,587
Oh, yeah... She asked
Mr. Woo, "Do you have pizza?"
194
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,290
He stared like she was
crazy. It was so embarrassing.
195
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:24,594
She should have just
had a hamburger like I did.
196
00:11:24,618 --> 00:11:27,230
Wait. You got a hamburger
at a Chinese restaurant?
197
00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:30,488
I've never heard of that.
I always get the burrito.
198
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:33,936
(car horn honks)
199
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,526
Oh, that must be Mom.
200
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:40,376
I hope you had a
nice time, Jessica.
201
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,978
Thanks, Randy. I...
202
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:44,614
Jessica, stop
yakking. Mom's waiting.
203
00:11:44,638 --> 00:11:47,338
Bye.
204
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:53,111
See you, guys. Hope
you had fun. (Randy) Bye.
205
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:59,428
Well, what did you
think of Jessica?
206
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:03,865
Well, I'll let you know when
Angela actually lets her talk.
207
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,436
Yeah, but you gotta
admit she's pretty fine.
208
00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:09,071
You know, when I go out
with a girl, I like to know
209
00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:11,641
she can actually
finish a sentence.
210
00:12:11,665 --> 00:12:14,466
Like my woman.
211
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,103
Yeah, just like that.
212
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,018
Would you let it go already?
213
00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:25,888
Nobody is gonna ship
you off to Pakistan!
214
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,458
Except maybe me.
215
00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:30,359
All I know is every
pin you knocked down
216
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,595
killed another one of my dreams.
217
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:34,596
You are being ridiculous.
218
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:36,833
Bud is not gonna
hold this against you.
219
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,834
Didn't you notice
after the fifth frame,
220
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:41,070
the man hardly said a word?
221
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,105
So he was a little quiet.
222
00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:48,377
Well, a quiet Bud is a mad Bud.
And a mad Bud is a bad Bud.
223
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,012
The mood he was in, it
was impossible for me to
224
00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:52,014
talk about my plans for Binford.
225
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:55,684
You think I jeopardized your
entire future by bowling well?
226
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:58,054
If the rented shoe fits... Ahh!
227
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,590
If I'd known you'd act like this,
I wouldn't have let you come.
228
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:03,058
Let me come? You
begged me to come!
229
00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:04,894
Because I thought
you'd be helpful.
230
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,629
You are absolutely unbelievable.
231
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,764
First you make
me miss my lecture.
232
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,799
Then you tell me what I
can or can't say to Bud.
233
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:12,668
I'm not allowed to eat.
234
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:15,738
And then I have to throw
the best game of my life.
235
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:17,306
I just wanted you
to be more flexible.
236
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,341
Flexible?
237
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:23,045
Whatever direction you pointed
me in, I was expected to perform.
238
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:28,017
I was like your little
Binford windup wife.
239
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:32,255
Binford doesn't
make a windup wife!
240
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:35,123
I've been your windup husband
whenever you wanted me to.
241
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,792
Went to the professor's house
for dinner, remember that?
242
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,695
Yeah! You complained the whole
night. I did whatever you wanted!
243
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:42,098
I only asked you to
pass the onion dip!
244
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:43,566
Well, you got it, didn't you?
245
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:47,436
You say that you
need me by your side.
246
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,139
And then you don't even
treat me like a person.
247
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:53,508
You acted like I was just
one of your appendages.
248
00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:56,746
Well, forgive me for thinking
my career's important.
249
00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:59,415
Apparently, that's all
you think is important.
250
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,183
Oh, that's not true.
251
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:04,720
Where you hit me with the
bowling ball I find quite important too.
252
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:09,613
Well, that's OK. 'Cause I think it's
gonna have plenty of time to heal!
253
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:16,153
(crickets chirping)
254
00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:21,403
Hey, Wilson. Am
I losing my mind?
255
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,472
Or do I hear crickets
in the middle of winter?
256
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,207
Well, you certainly
do, neighbor.
257
00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:27,865
I brought my pet crickets
out to serenade me.
258
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:34,016
Wilson, have you
ever had a normal pet?
259
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,420
Well, I had a marmoset once.
260
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:40,156
But my ocelot ate it.
261
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:43,459
You're one odd duck, Wilson.
262
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:46,362
I had one of those.
Ocelot got it, too.
263
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,198
I'm kind of sorry
I brought it up.
264
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,565
Oh, Tim!
265
00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:53,435
Jill told me about
bowling with Bud.
266
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:54,737
What did she say?
267
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:57,473
Well, she said it
was quite a brouhaha.
268
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,708
Well, there were no
brews and very few ha-ha's,
269
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,777
I'll tell you that.
270
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:07,116
Did she also mention that she thought
I was treating her like my appendix?
271
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,151
Well, yes, she did.
272
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:11,554
I believe the word she
used was "appendage."
273
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,155
When she's in a bad mood,
274
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:16,259
it's no time to correct her
English, I'll tell you that.
275
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:19,295
And what's wrong with
me caring about my career?
276
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:23,365
Tim, maybe Jill just feels that you
put your ambition ahead of her feelings.
277
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:26,735
I'm reminded of the critic
John Ruskin, who said:
278
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,170
"When a man is
wrapped up in himself,
279
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:30,740
he makes a very small package."
280
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:36,033
Yeah, but my grandma always told
me good things come in small packages.
281
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:40,783
How true, how true.
282
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:43,753
Mm-hm-hm-hm-hm.
283
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:47,556
Of course, you're the one
whose wife isn't talking to him.
284
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,548
Mm-hm-hm-hm-hm.
285
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:57,867
And a little bit of toothpaste will
take that rust right off your counter top.
286
00:15:57,891 --> 00:16:01,370
And don't forget to floss.
287
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,939
Now, let's say you got
paint all over your hands
288
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,441
and you're out of solvent.
289
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:09,412
What does a resourceful tool man
do now? Get some French fries.
290
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:13,115
Which is usually Al's answer
for just about everything.
291
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,840
But, in this case, my
bloated buddy is correct.
292
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,557
The grease in the
fries acts as a solvent -
293
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,259
it'll take paint right
off your hands.
294
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:26,162
That's right. And since your
fingers are already in the fries,
295
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:29,486
you can snack on the ones
that aren't covered in semi-gloss.
296
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:44,479
Al, what's the next tip from
the resourceful tool man?
297
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:47,515
All right. Well, say you
want to polish up some brass
298
00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:48,917
and you're out of cleaner.
299
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:50,786
The resourceful
tool man will use...
300
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,988
(both) Ketchup.
301
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,858
In the tomatoes is vitamin
C. It'll take tarnish off brass.
302
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:58,127
Actually, it's the vinegar.
303
00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:01,630
I believe it's the vitamin
C. I believe it's the vinegar.
304
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:05,167
I believe it's my show.
305
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:08,036
Could be the vitamin C.
306
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:10,338
Thank you, Al.
We'll have more tips
307
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:12,507
right after these few
messages from Binford Tools.
308
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:15,177
(♪ "Tool Time" theme)
309
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,379
I told you it was
vitamin C! Tim!
310
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:20,816
Would you stop for a minute...
Bud, what's the matter?
311
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,852
Tim, there's something I
want to talk to you about.
312
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,854
Oh. I knew this was coming.
313
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,656
I want a chance
to beat you and Jill.
314
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,758
I want a rematch.
315
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,693
A rematch? I don't think
that's gonna happen.
316
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,962
Why not? Jill didn't have fun,
317
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,564
and I won't ask
her to do it again.
318
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:39,189
Even if it means me going to
Pakistan and doing Turban Time.
319
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:44,273
Pakistan? Yeah.
320
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:47,009
Jean told me all about
that last vice president.
321
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:49,478
Beat you in bowling, you
shipped him off to Pakistan.
322
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:52,715
Ah. Oh.
323
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,690
Did she also tell
you it was her idiot
324
00:17:54,714 --> 00:17:57,053
brother who embezzled
money from the company?
325
00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:01,090
I think she might have
left out that little detail.
326
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:03,125
I built that plant in Pakistan
327
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:06,028
so we'd have a
place to send him.
328
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:09,131
You wouldn't hold a grudge
against someone who beat you.
329
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:13,135
Of course not. I'm a better
businessman than that.
330
00:18:13,159 --> 00:18:14,870
In that case, I got some
ideas I want to run by you
331
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:17,472
about Binford and my future.
Well, I want to hear them.
332
00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:20,509
Call my secretary and
make an appointment, OK?
333
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,778
Oh, oh, wait a minute.
334
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,969
I sent her to Pakistan, too.
335
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:35,657
No.
336
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:38,527
Don't you wanna at least
hear what I have to say? No.
337
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:41,830
The only reason I came... No!
338
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:44,100
I'll take that as a "no."
339
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:46,968
Hey, Mark. Just
'cause I love you.
340
00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:48,526
No.
341
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:54,877
I'm sorry about what
happened in the bowling alley.
342
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:57,412
I acted like an idiot.
343
00:18:57,436 --> 00:19:00,615
Tim, it's not just
about last night.
344
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:03,919
This kind of stuff has been happening
ever since you went to work for Bud.
345
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:06,155
It has? Yeah.
346
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:09,124
Remember the weekend that
we were gonna have together,
347
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,693
just the two of us?
348
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:14,163
It ended up being the
three of us, didn't it? Exactly.
349
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:17,499
I'm afraid that whenever
Bud says, "Jump,"
350
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:18,601
you're gonna say, "How high?"
351
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,803
And I'm gonna be
the one you land on.
352
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:24,373
I'll try not to land on you.
353
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:27,575
Tim, I don't want you to
forget about your ambition.
354
00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,377
I really don't.
355
00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:31,847
I just don't want you
to forget about me.
356
00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:34,716
I don't want to do that.
357
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,651
Well, if my ambition
gets in the way, just,
358
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:39,476
um... like, make sure
that I know about it.
359
00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:41,946
OK.
360
00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:51,900
I'm ready for those
flowers now. No.
361
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:55,504
Hey, tell you what. Let's do
something fun tonight. Um...
362
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,406
You pick. Anything
you want to do.
363
00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:01,677
Well, we could go upstairs,
364
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,012
get the lights down low...
365
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:07,148
(grunting) Oh, yeah.
366
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:10,986
Get in bed. Oh, yeah.
367
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,889
And spend the next
three hours... Eh!
368
00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:17,493
Considering where I got hit with
that bowling ball, that's optimistic.
369
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:21,084
Actually, I was thinking about listening
to the tape of that lecture I missed.
370
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:27,190
That might hurt more
than that bowling ball.
371
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,642
Oh, look at this.
372
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:38,012
We got our nachos,
pizza and chili fries.
373
00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:41,550
Yeah! Let's put on some weight.
374
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,318
This is the way
bowling should be.
375
00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:47,110
A nice, relaxed game,
no husbands, lots of food.
376
00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:54,963
Oh, boy! This is what
bowling's all about.
377
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:57,332
No food, no wives
378
00:20:57,356 --> 00:21:00,391
and no going home
until I beat you.
379
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:06,764
(clears throat)
380
00:21:20,213 --> 00:21:23,547
Did my wife tell you what happened to
the vice president who threw the game?
381
00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:28,363
Wearing a turban?
382
00:21:28,387 --> 00:21:30,453
Fez.
383
00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,538
I'm reminded of the critic
John Ruskin, who said:
384
00:21:36,562 --> 00:21:38,340
"When a man is
wrapped up in himself,
385
00:21:38,364 --> 00:21:41,043
he makes a very small package."
386
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:44,001
Hm. My Uncle
Bobo once told me...
387
00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:56,025
Did my wife tell you what happened to
the vice president who threw the game?
388
00:21:59,418 --> 00:22:00,996
Wearing a turban?
389
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:02,720
Fez.
390
00:22:04,257 --> 00:22:06,923
Morocco!
390
00:22:07,305 --> 00:23:07,858
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