1
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:07,351
(Jill) Hi! Hi there.
2
00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:11,020
Did you get my spaghetti made?
I have to make it to that potluck...
3
00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:13,022
Oh, my God! What is that?
4
00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:18,328
That is the Binford 6100
Commercial Vacu-Hood.
5
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:22,199
The residential version only has
a one-horsepower blower motor.
6
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:25,368
This bad boy has ten
horsepower. What do you think?
7
00:00:25,392 --> 00:00:26,870
Very impressive. Thank you.
8
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,705
Take it down. (laughs)
9
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,607
You don't even know
what you have here.
10
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:33,343
I asked you for a
simple little exhaust fan.
11
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,912
Well, this simple
little exhaust fan
12
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:40,384
will suck 20,000 cubic
feet of stinky air a minute.
13
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:43,219
Take it down.
14
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:45,054
You want stinky air?
15
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:48,079
I live with it in the bedroom. I
can live with it in the kitchen.
16
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,883
(whirring)
17
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:59,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
18
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:03,340
What was that?
19
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,575
Uh, just... Just testing it out.
20
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:09,079
Where's my spaghetti? I
have to take it to Ypsilanti!
21
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:11,481
It's probably already there.
22
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:14,072
Oh, man!
23
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,237
Hey, Jason. What's up?
24
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:10,506
You know my parents don't like
you coming here when I'm studying.
25
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:11,908
Just thought you'd like to know
26
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:14,211
big party at Lisa Beldon's
on Saturday night.
27
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:18,215
I can't go. I have to study
for history finals all weekend.
28
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,450
Not necessarily. You're
talking to someone
29
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,152
that can get you a
preview copy of that test.
30
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:23,954
Really?
31
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:25,421
It's my final exam
clearance sale.
32
00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:29,126
Everything must go.
The deals are insane.
33
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:30,560
What if my parents find out?
34
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,562
The parents never find out.
35
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:35,198
I deliver late at night
and slip it under the door.
36
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:37,300
Hey, Brad.
37
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:42,239
Some of that spaghetti got all the way
across the street into Doc Johnson's Buick.
38
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:45,308
Hi, Mr. Taylor. Hello, Jason.
39
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,145
Brad, we talked about Jason coming
over while you're doing your homework.
40
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:51,236
I didn't come to see
Brad. Came to see you!
41
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,884
Is that a fact, Jason? Yeah.
42
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,986
I just wanted to ask your
advice on power tools.
43
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,122
I'm thinking of
buying my first one.
44
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,790
Really? What kind were
you gonna buy, Jason?
45
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,326
I was thinking of buying a
seven-and-a-quarter-inch circular saw.
46
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,662
Really?
47
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,198
Yeah. Something with
a combination blade.
48
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:11,134
All right! That's good for
crosscutting and rip-cutting.
49
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:14,204
But you want to get yourself a
fine-tooth finish blade for precise cuts.
50
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:18,175
Stainless steel? I'd
go with the carbide tip.
51
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:21,811
Whew! Thank you.
52
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,981
Well, I gotta get home and
watch today's Tool Time.
53
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,717
I tape 'em all.
54
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:31,588
Don't be such a stranger
around here, Jason.
55
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:34,680
Boy, oh, boy. I love that kid.
56
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,529
Hey, Dad, there's a policeman
in Wilson's yard. I see.
57
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,698
I hope everything's all
right. Stay here, please.
58
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,167
(dispatch voice)
59
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:46,424
Oh!
60
00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:50,840
(whistles)
61
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,842
Wilson, what happened?
62
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:56,279
Well, Tim, I'm afraid I had
a break-in. Are you all right?
63
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,448
Yeah, I'm a little shook up. Luckily
I wasn't here when it happened.
64
00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:02,485
Tim, this is Officer Guidry. Officer,
this is my neighbor, Tim Taylor.
65
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:05,555
How are you doing? Oh,
yeah. I've seen your show.
66
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:09,526
It's always nice to meet a
fan. Who said I was a fan?
67
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:13,029
Boy! I cannot
believe this happened.
68
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:15,165
They took some of my
most valued possessions.
69
00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:17,367
What'd they get? A TV? Stereo?
70
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,269
No, no, no. Much
worse than that.
71
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:22,439
Number one, they took
my cheek extender from Fiji.
72
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:26,609
Number two, they took
my stuffed cow's hoof.
73
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:29,579
But the thing that really
makes me feel violated is
74
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:33,350
they took my African mucous cup.
75
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:37,687
They always take the good stuff.
76
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:42,492
How am I gonna write this up? I mean,
what's an African mucous cup worth?
77
00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:47,085
Well, not much here in Detroit. But in
Africa you can get six goats and a virgin.
78
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:55,238
Hey, Marty. Hey,
Harry. Hey, Tim.
79
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:57,173
Benny. Hey, Tim.
80
00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:58,541
Just how I love my coffee -
81
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,910
poured by somebody
else. Thank you, Ben.
82
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,712
Hi, Tim. Hey, Al.
83
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:07,284
Hey, guys. Hear the news?
Wilson was robbed today.
84
00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:08,718
Really? Oh, no!
85
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:11,121
Is he all right? Well, you
know, physically, yeah.
86
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:15,079
I hope they didn't
get his mucous cup.
87
00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:20,162
What the hell is a mucous cup?
88
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:22,364
It's an earthenware
goblet from Africa
89
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:26,503
that's used as a spittoon
for excess phlegm.
90
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,705
You sure seem to know
a lot about a mucous cup.
91
00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:33,443
Were you on the crime
scene 11 or so this morning?
92
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:36,012
Yeah, Al. Everybody knows
you always dreamed of
93
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:39,171
owning a complete
set of mucous-ware.
94
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:44,454
No matter how much I covet a
mucous cup, I would never steal one.
95
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:47,724
Hey, Tim. Didn't Wilson have a
security system or something?
96
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,326
No, I don't think so.
97
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,227
I have the best security
system in the world -
98
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:54,196
I own nothing of value.
99
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:57,833
Hey, I got an even better
one. My wife Delores.
100
00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:03,373
Burglar takes a look at her with
no makeup, he's scared straight.
101
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:06,910
You know, I don't have a
security system. (Marty) Huh.
102
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,778
Hey!
103
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:12,349
Maybe it's time the Tool Man
had his own security system.
104
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:15,251
Oh, boy! I've been waiting
for this day a long time.
105
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:17,320
All right, all right, all right.
106
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,922
Tim buying an alarm
system? Ka-ching! Ka-ching!
107
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:21,824
Yeah. This is gonna be good.
108
00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:24,427
The Tim Taylor
High-Security Compound.
109
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,862
It's gonna be the only home
with first-strike capability.
110
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:29,799
Yeah! What do you got?
111
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:33,803
A surveillance camera with
ultrasensitive microphones.
112
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,338
Let me have a dozen. All right.
113
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:37,774
You need a master pad
to tie that system together.
114
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,576
Get that. And you ought to get
those infrared motion sensors.
115
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,613
They're over here. 144
of those. A gross, make it.
116
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,015
Don't forget the siren.
Get me a couple sirens.
117
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:50,186
Lights. I'll get the big truck around
front. We'll load up. Where are the keys?
118
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,455
This will be the biggest
thing you've ever done,
119
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:54,491
bigger than the hood
vent you put in the kitchen.
120
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,158
Oh, way bigger! Whoa, whoa.
121
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:58,428
Why did you bring that up?
122
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:01,764
Wait a minute. What's wrong?
Jill made me take that thing out.
123
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,467
And I promised her I wouldn't go
overboard in any other installations.
124
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:07,959
What are you saying, Tim?
125
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:14,031
I'm saying it's probably a better
idea to just go with a basic unit.
126
00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:20,683
Yeah. The chances
of that happening!
127
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:22,418
Guys, I'm serious. I'm serious.
128
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,321
I think it's time the Tool
Man just scaled back a bit.
129
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:29,425
Yeah, right. That would
be like Babe Ruth bunting.
130
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,527
Raquel Welch wearing a parka.
131
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:35,498
Benny picking up a check.
132
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:37,400
It would be like my
mother going to a buffet
133
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,323
and only having a salad.
134
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:44,762
Did I say that?
135
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:48,410
Hi. Aah!
136
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:50,134
Aah!
137
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,483
Why were we yelling? I'm sorry.
138
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:56,019
I'm just a little jumpy.
Wilson got robbed.
139
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,822
That's why I bought
an alarm for the house.
140
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:01,458
You did? Yes. But
you'd be proud of me.
141
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:05,161
I got a base-down, stripped unit.
Bottom-of-the-line, very simple.
142
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:08,465
Bottom-of-the-line?
Bottom-of-the-line. Almost an empty box.
143
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,669
What are you, crazy? What?
144
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:16,495
Do you care nothing
about your family?
145
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:21,911
What? Well, the kids
are alone all the time now.
146
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:25,871
Mark is terrified. You
come home with this toy?
147
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:29,608
(stammering)
148
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:36,726
Do you want something
bigger? Yes! Yes!
149
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:41,997
I want something much,
much bigger! Well, uh...
150
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,034
Am I in the right house?
151
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:48,671
Look, if this can happen to
Wilson, it can happen to us!
152
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,940
I want floodlights,
surveillance cameras,
153
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:54,511
panic buttons, the
works, everything!
154
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:57,747
You know, I am
getting very excited.
155
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:01,105
I hope this isn't
just a big tease.
156
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:07,557
I am not teasing you.
157
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,692
I am turning you loose
158
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:15,298
to buy the biggest, most powerful
security system that money can buy.
159
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:16,955
Ohh...
160
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:27,198
I will even allow you to do a
Tool Time remote in the house.
161
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:35,873
I have never loved you as
much as I do at this moment.
162
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,811
Be back in a while.
163
00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:47,931
If I was to buy the answers to the
test, how much would it cost me?
164
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:51,767
For you? 30 bucks.
165
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:55,304
30 bucks? I'm
sorry. All I have is 20.
166
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:59,709
Did I say thir...? I meant 20.
167
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,444
All right. I guess
that's a deal.
168
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:05,014
Now, remember - under
the door around midnight.
169
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,517
(door opens) Everybody this way.
170
00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:10,185
Why don't you bring it on down in the
family room? Over there by the fireplace.
171
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:13,890
Come on in. Let's go.
Keep it moving. OK.
172
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,980
That's good.
173
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:21,831
All right. Hey, Jase.
How's that new saw?
174
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:24,734
Saw? Oh, just fine. Very...
175
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:27,036
sharp.
176
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,373
You guys have to get out of the
room. We're doing a Tool Time here.
177
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:34,510
Wow. You're doing an actual
Tool Time right here in the house?
178
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:39,014
I bet you'd like to watch. I wish I
could. But finals are starting Monday.
179
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:41,906
And that's always a
very hectic time for me.
180
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:47,323
Keep your nose
to the grindstone.
181
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,058
I will. And if I ever
buy a grindstone,
182
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:52,917
I assure you it'll be a Binford.
183
00:10:58,524 --> 00:11:01,237
Does everybody
know what time it is?
184
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,427
Tool Time!
185
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:08,044
That's right. Welcome to
a very special Tool Time -
186
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:11,948
live from the home of our
star, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!
187
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,316
Whoo-hoo! (♪ "Tool Time" theme)
188
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,218
Thank you, Heidi.
Thank you, everybody.
189
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:18,888
Welcome to Tool Time. I am
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
190
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,090
And you all know my
assistant, Al Borland.
191
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:24,827
We're gonna show you
how to install a high-tech,
192
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,929
super-charged security system.
193
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:29,398
That's right. The first
thing is to determine
194
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:32,969
what areas of your home are
most vulnerable to a break-in.
195
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:38,140
But since the only thing Al
can break into is a sweat...
196
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:40,876
we've invited a reformed
burglar to help us out.
197
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:45,848
I'd like to welcome on the
show, Sammy "the Snake" Nash.
198
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,350
Welcome, Sammy. Thanks, Tim.
199
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,586
It's a pleasure to be
in your home. Uh-huh.
200
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:54,757
You have some
beautiful things in here.
201
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:56,825
And I'd like to
keep them in here.
202
00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:59,095
I'm not into that anymore.
203
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:03,232
Good. Because I understand your parole
officer watches the show every night.
204
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:06,735
All right. Well, Sammy,
where would you like to begin?
205
00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:09,405
With the obvious,
Al. The front door.
206
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,407
I'll step outside.
You lock it up.
207
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,109
And we'll see just
how secure it is.
208
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:17,547
OK. Great. Good. Great. Fine.
209
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:20,283
I think the old Samster's
in for a little surprise.
210
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:24,853
That's a solid oak door. I installed
a rim-proof, jimmy-proof lock myself,
211
00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:26,922
which I call pretty
much impenetrable.
212
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:29,625
(lock jiggles)
213
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:33,062
Pretty much. Unless you're foolish
enough not to use the deadbolt.
214
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,531
Then someone could
open it with a credit card.
215
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:38,434
Well, good way to
wreck your credit card.
216
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:41,904
Actually, I wrecked yours.
217
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,307
All right. Hmm...
218
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:46,213
Let's step out into
the backyard and see if
219
00:12:46,237 --> 00:12:48,098
there are any vulnerable
places out there.
220
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:30,908
(alarm sounds)
221
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:38,460
You've watched us install one of the
most advanced security systems available.
222
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:42,064
Next, pick a secret password and
provide that to your security company.
223
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,700
You wanna pick a word
that's easy to remember,
224
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:48,137
perhaps has a special meaning for
you, like the name of a pet or a loved one.
225
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:51,228
For instance, I
picked "saber saw."
226
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:58,736
Perhaps now you'd like to choose a word
that our viewing audience hasn't heard.
227
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:06,221
Perhaps.
228
00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:08,497
And for all you
criminals out there, it
229
00:14:08,521 --> 00:14:11,148
might not be another
tool. It might be a car.
230
00:14:14,153 --> 00:14:16,465
See you next time on
Tool Time. Bye now.
231
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:19,434
(♪ "Tool Time" theme)
232
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:22,872
OK, let's move it out. Take
that belt. You guys move it.
233
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:25,641
Get it back to the studio
so we can get it wrapped up.
234
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:27,777
See you in the morning.
All right, buddy. Thanks a lot.
235
00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:31,080
Honey, we're all set. Great.
Show me how it works.
236
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,982
Easy as pie. Now, this
is the downstairs panel.
237
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:36,618
You can operate the entire system
from this panel alone on simple 21 buttons.
238
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:40,156
21 buttons. That's right.
21 buttons, 18 zones.
239
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:43,292
21 buttons, 18
zones. That's right.
240
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:45,861
It's very simple. If you
want to leave the house
241
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:50,933
and set the system in gear,
you press "arm-command"
242
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:54,937
"36824-star-7."
243
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,339
OK?
244
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:59,474
All right now, if you're in
the house during the day
245
00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:02,644
and you do not want the motion
sensors on, which is a great idea
246
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:10,552
"arm-command-A3423423."
247
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:14,356
Simple, yeah?
"Star-bypass-pound-6."
248
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:18,361
(beeps) Are you with me so far?
249
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:24,734
I lost you after you said,
"This is the downstairs panel."
250
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,803
Once you use it, you'll
find this very easy to use.
251
00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:30,973
OK. What if the
motion sensors are on,
252
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:33,876
but I want to go downstairs
to get something to eat?
253
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:37,847
Um... Well, you can't.
254
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:40,516
I can't? What am
I supposed to do?
255
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,716
What are you supposed to do? Oh.
256
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:44,041
Keep a ham by the bed.
257
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:52,895
I've almost got this down.
Before going to sleep at night,
258
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:57,500
I press "arm-command-5863,"
259
00:15:57,524 --> 00:16:02,571
"perimeter-instant-2-star-4."
260
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,006
2-star-2!
261
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:06,342
Oh, OK. "2-star-2."
262
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:10,201
(beeps) (Tim coughing)
263
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:17,642
I think I could use one
of those mucous cups.
264
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:22,424
I'll never be able to
work this. You'll get it.
265
00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:25,160
There's one last security
measure we gotta do before bed.
266
00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:25,995
What?
267
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:28,519
I'll have to frisk you.
268
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,436
What's the password?
269
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,559
"Please."
270
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,329
(alarm sounds)
271
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:03,165
(recording) Get away from the
house! The police are on their way!
272
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,722
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
273
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,105
There's someone
downstairs! Uh, uh...
274
00:17:10,129 --> 00:17:13,041
Stay here. I'll go
down there. I'll get him.
275
00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:15,099
Here, wait! Take this.
276
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:21,572
What am I gonna
do, style him to death?
277
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:25,921
(Tim) Who's down there?
278
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:29,291
Get away from the house!
The police are on their way!
279
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:32,528
Get away from the house!
The police are on their way!
280
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:35,431
Get away from the house!
The police are on their way!
281
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:38,834
Dad! Brad! What are
you doing down here?
282
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,936
This thing's going
crazy. I can't turn it off.
283
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,305
Honey, it's OK. It's just Brad.
284
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:47,877
"Disarm-command-disarm
8-7-disarm." Look at that!
285
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:51,447
Boy, that was loud.
286
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:55,684
Relax. Why are you
hugging yourself?
287
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:59,188
It-it just feels right.
288
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,924
Everybody go back to bed.
The alarm won't go back on.
289
00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:04,059
All right? All right.
290
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,961
Get away from the house!
The police are on their way!
291
00:18:06,985 --> 00:18:09,364
Get away from the house!
The police are on their way!
292
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:11,155
Get away from the house...
293
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,842
(alarm sounds)
294
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,645
The police are on their way!
295
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:26,214
Get away from the house!
The police are on their way!
296
00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:27,704
Get away from the house!
297
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:33,010
(beeps)
298
00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:51,006
(sound of machine gunfire)
299
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,008
The police are on their way!
300
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:56,545
Get away from the house!
The police are on their way!
301
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,969
Get away from the house!
The police are on their way!
302
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:09,225
Tim! (Tim) Don't panic!
303
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:13,094
Oh, good God! How much
longer must I endure this madness?
304
00:19:13,118 --> 00:19:16,932
Bells and whistles and little men
popping up at all hours of the night?
305
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:19,335
I am so sorry, Wilson. I
don't want to upset you.
306
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,004
You're the only neighbor
who is still speaking to us.
307
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:25,741
Well, I am about one siren blast
away from going over to the other side.
308
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,510
I'm about ready to join you.
309
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:30,246
How could you let Tim put in
such a ridiculous alarm system?
310
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,181
Well, it was actually my idea.
311
00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:34,383
Your idea?
312
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:37,319
Yeah. After you got
robbed, I got scared.
313
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:40,122
I started imaging horrible
things happening to the family.
314
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:43,125
Crazy people lurking
behind every door,
315
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:46,295
scaring the kids, taking
all our stuff. Mm-hmm.
316
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:48,730
You thought that by putting in
a state-of-the-art alarm system,
317
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:50,799
that you'd no longer be afraid.
318
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:54,937
Well, yeah. But now all I'm afraid
of is setting off this insane system!
319
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:58,274
Well, Jill, I wouldn't
worry about it.
320
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:03,912
As the physicist Edward Teller told me
over borscht at the Russian Tea Room,
321
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,949
total security has never
been available to anyone.
322
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:09,151
To expect it is unrealistic.
323
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:13,055
To imagine that it can
exist is an invite to disaster.
324
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:16,758
Well, this week would
qualify as a complete disaster.
325
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:19,595
I wish we could
scale this thing back.
326
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:22,998
But I can't ask him to do that
after he's put all this effort into it.
327
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:25,067
Why don't you present
him with a petition
328
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:27,836
signed by all his neighbors
who are sleep-deprived?
329
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:32,808
Wilson, you know nobody in this
neighborhood ever signs anything.
330
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:35,866
Well, Jill, there's
always a first time.
331
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:43,418
All right, all right. I think I've
got the inside sensors figured out.
332
00:20:43,442 --> 00:20:45,487
Hey, Wilson. Hey.
333
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:47,990
What do you got there? A
petition from all the neighbors
334
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,758
angry about your
security system.
335
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:52,895
(mock laughter)
336
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:56,332
Joe Paduro? That guy
lives, like, four blocks away.
337
00:20:56,356 --> 00:21:00,023
Well, I think he's still angry
about being hit by the spaghetti.
338
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:05,274
Tim, we gotta talk about
scaling this thing back.
339
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:07,375
You know, this
was partly your idea.
340
00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:10,946
I'll figure it out as soon as I
can get these motion detectors...
341
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,781
(alarm sounds)
342
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,171
Hey!
343
00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:23,558
Welcome back to another
Tool Time on location.
344
00:21:23,582 --> 00:21:27,596
Last week we showed you how to
install a state-of-the-art security system.
345
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:30,698
Today we'll show you how to
install a more modest system.
346
00:21:30,722 --> 00:21:34,692
And for people whose
neighbors signed a huge petition.
347
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:41,242
We eliminated 17 or 18 zones and
went with a much smaller control panel.
348
00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:45,180
Now we have only one security
camera situated over the front door.
349
00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:47,282
There you go. See
that picture? Very nice.
350
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:50,085
That's my son Brad
with a good friend, Jason.
351
00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:53,522
Jason just bought
his first circular saw.
352
00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:54,957
You want your money back?
353
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,359
I decided not to
cheat on the test.
354
00:21:57,383 --> 00:21:59,795
Why not?
355
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:01,363
Well, first of all it's wrong.
356
00:22:01,387 --> 00:22:03,599
And if my parents
caught me, they'd kill me.
357
00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:06,167
They'd never catch
on. Especially your dad.
358
00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:07,736
He still thinks I bought a saw
359
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:11,439
and that I tape
Tool Time. I mean...
360
00:22:11,463 --> 00:22:13,441
(Tim laughs)
361
00:22:13,465 --> 00:22:15,477
Well, you don't have to
tape Tool Time now, Jason,
362
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,813
because you're on it live.
363
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:20,671
And I'll be sending
this tape to your folks.
364
00:22:22,942 --> 00:22:26,343
Did I mention I'm
an orphan, sir?
365
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:32,550
I think I love you no... mo...
366
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,064
(director) One more time.
367
00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:37,499
"I love you more at this
moment than ever before."
368
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:38,900
Something like that.
369
00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:41,336
"I've never loved you as
much as I do at this moment!"
370
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,538
Here we go.
371
00:22:42,562 --> 00:22:44,940
Wow. You're... you're
doing a Tool Time
372
00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:46,308
right here in this
house? Oh, yeah.
373
00:22:46,332 --> 00:22:49,578
Whew!
374
00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:50,679
Wow.
375
00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:55,138
That would be
your line. Would it?
375
00:22:56,305 --> 00:23:56,678
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