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Welcome back to a very special
Tool Time live from my house.
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00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:10,907
lt's Christmas, time to think
about cleaning out that chimney.
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Cheerio, Timothy.
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Frosted Flakes to you, Al.
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Well, Tim is right. A dirty chimney can
cause smoke to back up into your house.
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Or worse yet,
creosote can build up and cause a fire.
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lf you don't use your fireplace,
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00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:32,564
there might be animals making nests.
Check that out.
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Right. You don't wanna
light up your Yule log
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and end up barbecuing a possum.
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Not unless you're Jed Clampett.
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He's a millionaire, you know.
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Well, [sighs]
l shall just head up to the roof.
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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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l'll just be down here
collecting the soot, Al.
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There's two things to tell
about cleaning a chimney.
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[phone rings]
18
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Whose job was it to unplug the phone?
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- Would somebody answer that?
- l'll get it.
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Thank you.
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OK, there's two things l'm gonna
tell you about cleaning out a chimney.
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lt's Grandma. She wants to know whether
we're coming up Saturday or Sunday.
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Tell her Saturday.
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There's two things
about cleaning out your chimney.
25
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What time on Saturday?
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Eight o'clock.
27
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Don't you hate when your mom calls you
and you're working on a live TV show?
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- There's two things...
- Should she make breakfast for us?
29
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[sighs] Mom, do you know
l'm working on a live TV show here?
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- Yeah, and she says your fly's undone.
- What?
31
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Grandma says, ''Got ya.''
32
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So, Wilson, what are you doing?
33
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[Wilson] Well, Tim, l'm carving
a nativity scene out of giant radishes.
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What do you think
of my Three Wise Men?
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l think they
should come bearing onion dip.
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[Wilson chuckles]
37
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See, this is part of the Mexican custom
of Noche de Rabanos.
38
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Um... Night of the Bathroom?
39
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No, no, no, no, no, Tim.
Night of the Radishes.
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You see, every Christmas,
farming families would head into town
41
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and display their tuberous creations.
42
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Which reminds me, l guess you're
going to be heading out of town
43
00:03:24,637 --> 00:03:26,195
to help your mother move.
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00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:31,005
Yep. Tomorrow morning, 5 am.
Jill and the boys and Marty's coming,
45
00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:32,942
and my brother Jes
going to meet us.
46
00:03:33,012 --> 00:03:35,378
Jeff. He's the one who's parsimonious?
47
00:03:35,481 --> 00:03:37,745
No, he's Presbyterian.
48
00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:42,414
No, l mean parsimonious as in frugal.
49
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[scoffs] Frugal's not the word for Jeff.
This guy recycles his dental floss.
50
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:51,263
Closing up the old childhood home
can be a traumatic thing.
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00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:53,959
- l know it was for me.
- A lot of memories?
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00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:56,092
Yeah, they're still vivid.
53
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:59,468
Waking up to the sound
of a hyena laughing.
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The sweet smell of hay
as the zebra grazed.
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00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:07,537
The sight of a mother rhinoceros
feeding her calf.
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Uh, you... you were raised in Africa?
57
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,314
Chicago.
58
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ln an apartment overlooking the zoo.
59
00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:20,190
Well, it's gonna be weird
moving her out of that house.
60
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Moving her here
is gonna allow me to do something
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00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:25,598
- l've always wanted to do.
- Spend more time with her?
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00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:29,795
No, drive a really big truck. [grunts]
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[passing car horn blaring]
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Boy, l love this truck!
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[horn blares]
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Stop that!
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This is just great. Five-speed tranny,
five-ton big Detroit diesel.
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This is gonna be
the greatest day of my life. [grunts]
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00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:49,587
Tim, you are driving too fast.
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00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:52,989
lf l were alone, this could
be the greatest day of my life.
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[sighs] God, l hate moving.
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Do you know how many times
l moved when l was a kid?
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- Eight.
- Eight moves.
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Every time l had to leave my friends,
my heart would just break.
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Here we go.
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l'd cry for days and days.
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Go on an uncontrollable downward spiral.
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00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:20,613
Jill, how would you like to sit
in the back with the packing crates
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and the Styrofoam packing material?
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Excuse me,
l'm just expressing my feelings.
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l know how sick you are of hearing them.
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Oh, no, you don't.
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[gears grind]
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00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,606
Hey, step on it, Uncle Marty.
Dad's getting away from us.
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[chuckles] Who would have thought
a truck that big could go that fast?
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00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:48,946
l can't believe we have to spend
Christmas break helping Grandma move.
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00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,176
Oh, come on!
What else would you guys be doing?
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- Hanging out with my girlfriend.
- Going to parties.
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Seeing all the new movies.
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00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:59,652
Anybody interested in switching lives?
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00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:04,892
- Breaker, breaker.
- [man] Go ahead, Murray.
92
00:06:04,964 --> 00:06:09,230
You got The Tool Man about 55 miles
outside of the Motor City. Come back.
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00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:12,362
[man] I'm at your front door
about two yardsticks.
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00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:15,202
Watch out for the road pizza
in the granny.
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00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:18,536
''Road pizza in the granny?''
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Dead animal in the slow lane. Come on!
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How do you know that?
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00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:27,846
'Cause every time l get
a haircut l read Big Rig Digest.
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00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:34,749
ln about 30, l'm gonna need a motion
lotion and a pickle park. Come back.
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That's a restaurant and a gas station.
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00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:41,965
There's a gas station just ahead of you.
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I'll have to get back to you
on the hookers.
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- Hello.
- Hi.
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Oh, hi, hi. Oh, it's so good to see you.
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- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, Mom.
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Mom, don't call me when
l'm doing a live show again, please.
107
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,914
You know,
l didn't expect you here so soon.
108
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:09,325
Tim decided to go
for the big-rig speed record.
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Why are all these boxes
marked ''fragile?''
110
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Well, l didn't know
which ones you'd be handling.
111
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Wow.
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Seeing all these boxes brings
back so many painful memories.
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- When l was a kid we moved, like...
- We know, dear. Eight times.
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Mom, why did you throw this out?
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00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,979
Oh, uh, it was in bad shape,
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so l yanked it off the wall
and put it in the trash.
117
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Yeah, but Dad made this.
118
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Well, honey, l'm not going
to be staying in this house and, uh,
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there's no room
for it in my new place.
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Jes here.
He'll take anything.
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Hey, l'll take it! What is it?
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- Hey, hey, little brother.
- Well?
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00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:55,965
Gee, l didn't recognize you
without a head wound.
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Well, l did recognize you
because you're still bald.
125
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How many times do l have to tell you?
l'm not bald, l'm taller than my hair.
126
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Know what? That's not it.
127
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ln this light, you've actually
gotten a little uglier.
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00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:13,623
Uglier. Ah, the Tim Taylor wit, huh?
129
00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:16,355
lmmature and yet, uh, not funny.
130
00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:23,291
- Come on. Watch it, watch it, watch it.
- OK, Dad.
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00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,335
Hey, Tim, look at this.
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lt's Dad's plans
from when he remodeled the house.
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You gotta be kiddin'!
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These have gotta be about 30 years old.
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[straining] Dad.
136
00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:41,448
Careful with that, it's an antique.
137
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,723
- Randy.
- Lift with your legs.
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00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:48,851
- Ah, get back here.
- This is everything.
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00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:53,194
This is the bedroom, the den, the
kitchen, that dining room addition...
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Yeah. Look at the details Dad put in.
He must have loved doing this.
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Crown molding in all the rooms,
tongue-and-groove on all the floors.
142
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:04,434
You're too young to remember,
but Dad hand-rebuilt that mantelpiece.
143
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:08,446
Well, he had to after you tried to use
the propane tank as a fire poker.
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00:09:14,153 --> 00:09:19,386
Last time l saw these plans,
l was helping Dad build this staircase.
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00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:25,129
Solid maple. He let me turn one
of these balusters, install it myself.
146
00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:30,796
- They're fine if you don't touch them.
- Yeah.
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Man, we used to have
some great times in here, you know?
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lt's hard to believe we're not
gonna see the place again.
149
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,204
Well...
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[laughs] Remember sliding down
this banister, guys?
151
00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:44,405
Oh, yeah. Of course, l also remember
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00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:47,782
there was only one of us dumb enough
to go down facing forward.
153
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Anybody can do it backwards.
154
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Mom was wrong too.
l was still able to have children.
155
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Yeah, but look at 'em.
156
00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:08,170
...break.
157
00:10:09,475 --> 00:10:11,238
[doorbell rings]
158
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,438
- [Jill] Tim, would you get that?
- Ah!
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00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,009
[high-pitched] l'll get it.
160
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:36,892
[woman] Hello.
161
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,630
Oh, are... are you OK?
162
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:43,038
[high-pitched] l'm fine, l'm fine.
163
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[clears throat] l just took a short
little trip down memory lane.
164
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[woman laughs]
165
00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:51,249
Hi. We're the Burtons,
the new owners of the house.
166
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:54,081
- Tim Taylor. l used to live here.
- Hope we're not intruding.
167
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,711
- No, no, no. Come on in.
- Great.
168
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:56,788
Thanks.
169
00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:59,255
We were wondering
if we could take measurements.
170
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- Yeah, go ahead.
- Thanks.
171
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:04,824
We need to do it before Monday because
we have a crew to rip up the floors.
172
00:11:04,897 --> 00:11:07,798
Rip up the floors? These
are tongue-and-groove wood floors.
173
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:10,233
Well, we prefer ceramic tile.
174
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,464
Ceramic tile doesn't really go
with anything else in the house.
175
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:15,871
Oh, it will when we're done.
176
00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:17,272
What else are you gonna do?
177
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,971
We're taking out all the old stuff,
like that fireplace.
178
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:22,412
That fireplace is hand-built.
lt's one of a kind.
179
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,483
We want to give it
a contemporary feeling.
180
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:26,608
Put in floor-to-ceiling mirrors.
181
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,917
Ah! Go for that fun house look.
182
00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:34,154
- [clears throat]
- Excuse me?
183
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,626
Measuring the staircase?
You're taking this out?
184
00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:39,357
Actually, we were going
to replace it with wrought iron.
185
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,992
Oh, yeah.
186
00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:46,903
That wrought iron and mirror,
there's a handsome look. Yeah.
187
00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:51,272
Put in a front desk, some fake ferns
and a bellhop, you got a hotel lobby.
188
00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:54,904
You know,
maybe we should come back another time.
189
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:57,244
You know what?
l'm sorry that we bothered you.
190
00:11:57,316 --> 00:11:59,750
This is real craftsmanship
in this house, you know.
191
00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:02,447
My father and l
built this staircase by hand.
192
00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:04,580
This house is perfect the way it is!
193
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:20,161
[mother grunts]
Who was that at the door, Tim?
194
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:24,005
- Mr. and Mrs. Motel 6.
- Who?
195
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,806
The new owners. You know
what they want to do to this place?
196
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:30,713
Yeah, they mentioned a few things.
Ceramic tile, wrought-iron staircase.
197
00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:32,944
- That's OK with you?
- Well, it's their house.
198
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:35,714
They can do whatever they want with it.
199
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:38,348
You lived here 42 years
and you let people buy the house
200
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,551
that are just gonna tear it apart?
201
00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:43,186
Well, what was l supposed to do?
202
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:45,892
Background check?
203
00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:52,126
Find out how their values are, whether
they're pro or anti tongue-and-groove.
204
00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:56,072
Tim, l sold them the house.
l didn't put it up for adoption.
205
00:12:56,142 --> 00:13:00,806
- Wait. Just...
- No way. Why are you taking the toilet?
206
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,313
Because l need a new one.
207
00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:06,408
No sense spending good money
when l can have this one for free.
208
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:11,679
This isn't just a toilet, you know.
lt's... an heirloom.
209
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:15,593
This toilet is full of memories.
210
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,061
Yeah, for me too.
Remember the night of my bachelor party?
211
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:24,603
Ooh, some major hurling in there.
212
00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:28,003
Hey, how about when Dad
brought back that bag of smoked chub
213
00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:31,008
- from the lndian reservation?
- [all laugh]
214
00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:33,340
That was a bad week.
215
00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:37,781
OK, boys, you just put that toilet right
back. lt belongs to the new owners.
216
00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:41,616
Ah... They'll just probably throw it out
like the rest of the stuff.
217
00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:45,054
- What?
- New owners, tearing out everything.
218
00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:47,592
Floor, the mantel.
They're taking out the stairway.
219
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,527
How are they gonna
get to the second floor?
220
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:53,758
Hey, this is serious!
They can't do that to us.
221
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:55,527
This is the house where we grew up.
222
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:59,560
The house where l learned you can
put a lawn mower engine on a tricycle.
223
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:02,631
This is the house where l lost my hair.
224
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:09,280
Whoa! ls this Dad and his hot rod?
225
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:12,112
[laughs] Yeah, that's Dad.
226
00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:17,889
During his hippie days. His motto
was ''Peace, Love and Valvoline.''
227
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,220
Peace.
228
00:14:22,294 --> 00:14:24,353
Valvoline.
229
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,592
- Take that downstairs.
- Sure.
230
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:30,032
- My first hot rod.
- Yeah.
231
00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:33,594
Oh, look at this cute little plane.
Did you make this?
232
00:14:33,672 --> 00:14:35,833
That's a Spitfire, honey.
233
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:39,674
l glued that when l was 1 1 years old.
l won first prize at a hobby show.
234
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:42,509
For the plane or the shelf?
235
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,314
Let me ask you a question.
236
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,251
You've always wanted
a vacation home?
237
00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:50,788
Yeah.
238
00:14:50,856 --> 00:14:54,087
How would you feel about buying this
and making it our getaway home?
239
00:14:56,428 --> 00:15:00,455
You're suggesting that we come up here
for romantic weekends
240
00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:03,296
and sleep in your mother's bedroom?
241
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:08,032
Well, it's not like she's gonna be here.
242
00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:11,408
- Neither are we.
- Come on. Listen to me.
243
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,707
- Yeah.
- The people that are buying this house
244
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:16,748
are gonna rip out the floor,
take out the mantel, the staircase.
245
00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:18,976
The staircase?
246
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:21,178
They're tearing down
the house l grew up in.
247
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,551
Oh, no, that's awful. l'm so sorry.
248
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:29,157
l know how bad Wilson felt when he took
his Mexican radishes and left the zoo.
249
00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:32,664
What?
250
00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:36,064
He just said this
was gonna be real tough.
251
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:40,469
Yeah. lt's gotta be tough.
252
00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:43,565
l used to fall apart every time
l left a house l barely lived in,
253
00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:46,270
but this house has been
a part of your life for so long.
254
00:15:46,345 --> 00:15:50,213
Yes, it has. Dad put his heart
and soul in this place.
255
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,512
Everything l loved about him is here.
256
00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:58,088
Tim... this house is really beautiful,
257
00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:01,320
but everything you loved about him
is something you carry with you,
258
00:16:01,393 --> 00:16:04,487
don't you think?
l mean, all your memories about him
259
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:08,465
and what he taught you about cars
and how to work with tools.
260
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:11,469
How to be a great dad.
261
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:14,904
l mean, who showed you how to shoot
those peas right out of your nose?
262
00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:18,667
Mom.
263
00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:24,609
Dad taught us how to use six parts
of our body as a musical instrument.
264
00:16:26,518 --> 00:16:28,782
- Seven.
- [laughs]
265
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:33,215
Oh, boy.
Ah, you're probably right.
266
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:36,784
No matter what these people do, they
can't take the memory of him from me.
267
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:38,022
Yeah.
268
00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:42,959
Your dad must have been a great guy.
l wish l had met him.
269
00:16:43,035 --> 00:16:45,003
He was a great guy.
270
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:48,335
He would have loved you,
loved everything about you.
271
00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:52,241
- Yeah.
- Except maybe that turkey tetrazzini.
272
00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:00,049
[Tim] Mom,
can l talk to you for a minute?
273
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:01,449
Sure, honey.
274
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:06,190
- l'm sorry l snapped at you earlier.
- Oh, listen, that's all right.
275
00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:10,888
You know, l never realized that leaving
this house would be so tough on you.
276
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:15,024
Neither did l. l'm just
surprised how well you're doing.
277
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:17,193
- [laughs] How well l'm doing?
- Yeah.
278
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:20,136
Oh, honey, if you realized
how many years l've spent thinking
279
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,673
about this day
and crying about it a lot.
280
00:17:22,741 --> 00:17:26,074
l'm sorry. You know, l don't mean
to make you feel bad about this.
281
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:29,911
- Tim, l just love this house.
- Yeah.
282
00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:35,681
Everywhere l look
there's just a wonderful memory.
283
00:17:35,754 --> 00:17:40,123
You know, l'll never forget
all the Christmases we've had here.
284
00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:42,285
The whole family
gathered around the table
285
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:45,057
and the fire burning in the fireplace.
286
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:47,360
The turkey burning in the oven.
287
00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:53,403
Do you remember the Christmas
after Marty was born?
288
00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:56,839
Do l? We're upstairs babysitting,
his belly button falls off.
289
00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:58,409
Scared the hell out of all of us.
290
00:17:58,477 --> 00:18:02,311
''Mom, you had better get up here.
l think this kid's falling apart.''
291
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:08,247
That was the... that was the Christmas
l helped Dad finish the staircase.
292
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:21,664
- Hey, Tim. Tim.
- [young Tim] Yeah, Dad?
293
00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:24,896
l want to check your measurements
for the carpeting for the stairs.
294
00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:28,234
You don't have to. l already cut it.
295
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,841
Oh, no.
296
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:34,109
Don't worry. l know what l'm doing.
297
00:18:38,383 --> 00:18:40,351
Oh, no.
298
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:43,287
Tim, what did l tell you?
299
00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:47,917
You gotta measure twice and cut once.
Plus, l didn't ask you to cut it, son.
300
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:50,518
Sorry. l guess l messed up again.
301
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:52,291
Ah, it's all right.
302
00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:55,993
Working with tools,
it's not for everybody and, well,
303
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:59,697
when you grow up you'll find something
that's more suitable for you.
304
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:03,730
[mother] Michael, Tim,
time to get ready for dinner.
305
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,674
l can smell the turkey burning.
306
00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:11,478
Son, there is nothing like
your mother's turkey. All dark meat.
307
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:20,490
You know, Tim, as hard as it's
gonna be for me leaving this house,
308
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:24,723
l am so happy to be moving closer to you
and Marty and all the grandchildren.
309
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:27,321
We're gonna be happy to have you.
lt's gonna be OK.
310
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:28,764
l know, l know.
311
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,928
Wait a minute. l've got an idea.
312
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,462
How would you feel about having
one last Christmas dinner here tonight?
313
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:38,009
Well, honey,
Christmas isn't until Wednesday,
314
00:19:38,076 --> 00:19:39,976
and we've packed up the whole house.
315
00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:44,539
So we order food in. We'll eat on the
floor like a pre-Christmas scrimmage.
316
00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:46,550
- You know, that could be great.
- Yeah.
317
00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:49,451
Do you know that the first night
your father and l moved here,
318
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:52,888
we ate on the floor?
We had this romantic dinner
319
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:57,327
- and then we danced and... and...
- Mom. Mom.
320
00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:01,361
More than l need to know.
321
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:07,437
Oh, this is so wonderful.
322
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:11,272
lt's just like all the Christmases
we used to have here.
323
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:13,607
Except that we're eating off the floor.
324
00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:16,113
Steve and John
aren't burping the national anthem.
325
00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:18,274
[all laugh]
326
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:22,116
lnstead of burnt turkey,
we're having pizza and linguine.
327
00:20:22,187 --> 00:20:24,280
After dinner,
why don't we all go caroling?
328
00:20:24,356 --> 00:20:26,916
We can sing,
''l'm dreaming of a white clam sauce.''
329
00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:30,723
- Not bad.
- Or ''Deck the halls with calamari.''
330
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,263
Oh, boy!
331
00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:35,892
- ''Silent night, cannoli night.''
- Better.
332
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,936
They're just like us
when we were kids.
333
00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:39,971
Yeah, except they're clever.
334
00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:45,276
Well, l'm stuffed.
335
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:48,813
Yeah. Me too. Look, l'll,
uh, l'll take all the leftovers.
336
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:52,839
l'm having some people
over tomorrow night.
337
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:56,620
- How are you, honey?
- l'm good.
338
00:20:56,688 --> 00:21:00,385
l was just thinking
how much l'm like this house.
339
00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:03,087
You mean you both have old, leaky pipes?
340
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:06,825
l'm speaking metaphorically.
341
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:09,457
Metaphorically?
You actually know what that means?
342
00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:13,834
l have a neighbor
who explains stuff like this to me.
343
00:21:13,905 --> 00:21:15,873
So how are you like this house?
344
00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:18,704
OK, when they said they
were ripping out the insides,
345
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,940
l felt like they
were ripping out my insides.
346
00:21:22,047 --> 00:21:25,608
Listen, since the Burtons
are tearing this all apart,
347
00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:28,982
why don't you boys just
take whatever's important to you?
348
00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:32,546
- Really? l'll flip you for the toilet.
- OK.
349
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:35,149
l want the mantel and banister.
lf that's all right.
350
00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:38,993
Because l can just tear this one
out here and replace it at our house.
351
00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:41,294
As long as l've
got the sledgehammer out...
352
00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:43,459
Oh, no.
353
00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:49,374
[tires screeching]
354
00:21:50,509 --> 00:21:53,967
You're too young to remember,
but Dad hand-built that mantelpiece.
355
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:58,073
He had to after that little incident
with Gl Joe and the bottle rocket.
356
00:21:59,751 --> 00:22:03,380
Uh, Dad, Grandma says look
behind you. There's a raccoon.
357
00:22:03,455 --> 00:22:06,424
Really? And there's
a hippopotamus up on the roof.
358
00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:07,719
[Al] Tim?
359
00:22:07,793 --> 00:22:10,318
Actually, there is
a hippopotamus up on the roof.
360
00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:13,364
- She's not kiddin' you.
- Oh!
361
00:22:14,305 --> 00:23:14,175
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