1 00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:04,370 Oh! What a day! Huh, Mark? 2 00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:06,192 [rock music plays on headphones] 3 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:09,541 Mark. Mark! 4 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,313 Mark, what are you listening to? 5 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:18,083 "Pus and Boots"? 6 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,353 With their new hit single, Smell the Hell. 7 00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:24,990 You gotta be kidding. Nice lyrics. 8 00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:28,026 "I hate you. You're garbage. 9 00:00:28,128 --> 00:00:31,263 I'm puking. You're garbage." 10 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:34,733 Which reminds me, you forgot to take out the garbage. 11 00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:37,848 - Hey, everybody. - [Tim] Hi. 12 00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:40,439 Hi, guys. Look at this. 13 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,942 Brad got a letter from the University of North Carolina. 14 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:48,246 Here's an uplifting tune: I Feel the Fungus. 15 00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:52,383 It's from North Carolina. 16 00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:58,256 This is that scout that was at practice the other day. 17 00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:00,625 He says he's looking at me for a soccer scholarship. 18 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:04,563 University of North Carolina? That's not in Michigan. 19 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,435 I have a chance at playing for the Tar Heels. Awesome! 20 00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,537 - Awesome. All right! - Yeah. 21 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,573 This is great! 22 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:17,108 Now remember though, you have two more years of school. 23 00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,910 Keep that grade-point average up. 24 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,345 That's right. 25 00:01:20,448 --> 00:01:22,914 Like when those technical schools were romancing me, 26 00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,496 I didn't want to let my grades go down. 27 00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:29,254 They couldn't go down. 28 00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:34,726 I'm gonna work harder than ever. I've got something to shoot for. 29 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:37,262 - Congratulations. - I'm gonna call Jason. 30 00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,898 A scholarship. Do you know what that would mean? 31 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,000 He's gonna get a great education. 32 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,669 Oh, yeah! 33 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:49,641 But with the money we'd save, I could start another hot rod. 34 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:52,544 Tim, if Brad is lucky enough to get a scholarship, 35 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:54,212 we're not gonna be buying any cars. 36 00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:56,147 We have two more kids times four more 37 00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:58,182 years of college. You do the math. 38 00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,852 I married you so I wouldn't have to do the math. 39 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:08,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 40 00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,372 [phone rings] 41 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:59,444 Hello? [whispers] It's Cathy and Greg. 42 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,446 Oh, no. No. 43 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,514 Hi. 44 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:07,119 Uh... oh, you want to get together next Friday? 45 00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:10,922 - [whispers] No, no, no. - No, we can't. We're busy. 46 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,825 What are we busy doing? 47 00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:16,395 We're, uh, sawing wood. 48 00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:20,332 Dinner, Randy. Dinner. 49 00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,400 We're sawing wood for dinner. 50 00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:26,705 [laughs] You see, we make a table, then we eat off it. Yeah. 51 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:29,107 No, no, no. We'll let you know when we're free. 52 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,275 OK. Bye-bye. 53 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,845 - [exhales heavily] That was close. - Yeah. 54 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,514 [laughs] Why are you trying to avoid these people? 55 00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:39,550 Cathy Simms and Greg Clark, the most annoying kids at school. 56 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:41,231 They're like a married couple. 57 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,066 Since they heard we were together, 58 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,068 they've been bugging us to double-date. 59 00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:46,892 I think they smell our fear. 60 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:52,864 Randy, it's not really nice to duck people. 61 00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:54,132 Oh, well, you'd know, 62 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:57,936 being one of the all-time great couple-duckers. 63 00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:01,406 - Me? I am not a couple-ducker. - Oh, come on, Mom! 64 00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:04,209 The Goodmans? For a month we couldn't turn on our lights 65 00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:07,012 so they wouldn't know we were back from vacation. 66 00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:09,547 We don't know what to do. We're desperate. 67 00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:12,150 Now, I don't really condone this. 68 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:15,219 But if you have to avoid somebody, here's what you do. 69 00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,489 Whenever they want to get together, 70 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,258 be agreeable but vague. 71 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,827 Use phrases like, uh, "after the holidays" 72 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,896 or "when things settle down." 73 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,009 Oh, if you run into them unexpectedly, 74 00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:29,868 be sure that you have some emergency you have to deal with. 75 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:33,071 This family, you don't even have to make that up. 76 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,552 - Thanks. - [Jill] Welcome. 77 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,542 - You ready to go to the mall? - Sure. 78 00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:38,744 When are you guys back? 79 00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:41,713 Oh, you know, when things settle down. 80 00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:46,518 [indistinct chatter] 81 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,987 Honey, you should've seen Brad at soccer practice. 82 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,255 He was incredible! 83 00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,201 - I was the bomb! - No, you were the man! 84 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:55,026 - I'm the man! Ooh! - Hey! Ow! 85 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,628 [Jill laughs] 86 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,930 Chest bumping. 87 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,900 Something you'd never see two women do. 88 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:06,270 I'd pay a lot of money to see it though. 89 00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:11,576 Yeah. Coach Martino seemed pretty excited 90 00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:14,212 - about that letter. - We're all excited about it. 91 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,848 But remember what he said. They send out 300 letters, 92 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,884 but only five kids get the scholarships. 93 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,753 How do I make sure I'm one of those five? 94 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:24,923 Come on. You gotta work harder than the other 295. 95 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,191 Pay attention to your trainer. 96 00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:29,660 I don't have a personal trainer. 97 00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:32,296 You do now. Drop and give me 20. 98 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,446 Blow it out! Seventeen! Come on! Eighteen! 99 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:39,971 Push it! Nineteen! Good! Twenty. Lock it up. 100 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,419 Put another plate on. One more set! Come on! 101 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,843 Dad, another set? I'm kind of tired. 102 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,822 Tired? Look, we've got a goal. 103 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,346 We've gotta do everything we can. What do we want? 104 00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:50,948 - [panting] Scholarship. - How are we gonna get it? 105 00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:52,784 - Hard work. - I can't hear you! 106 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,129 - Hard work! - Can't hear! 107 00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:55,953 - Hard work! - I can't hear you! 108 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,889 I heard you! 109 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,427 Does everybody know what time it is? 110 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:05,263 - [crowd] Tool Time! - That's right! 111 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:11,403 Binford Tools is proud to present Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor! Whoo! 112 00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:14,505 - [theme song plays] - [cheering] 113 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,411 Thank you. 114 00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:22,480 Thank you, everybody. Thanks for coming. Thank you, Heidi. 115 00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:25,616 Thank you, Heidi. Thank you, Heidi! 116 00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:34,225 [sighs] Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. 117 00:06:34,328 --> 00:06:36,794 And of course you all know my assistant, Al Borland. 118 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:40,565 [applause, cheering] 119 00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:44,169 Well, today Al and I join you for our Tool Time salute... 120 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:45,603 [man] Oi! My back! 121 00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:46,904 To fitness. 122 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:49,907 And who better to help us out 123 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,377 than those lean, mean construction machines 124 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:55,280 from Bay City? The boys from K&B Construction! Bring 'em out! 125 00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:57,715 Let's hear it for Rock, Pete and Dwayne! 126 00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:00,185 - [applause] - Hey! Hey, buddy! 127 00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:02,287 - All right! - How are you, buddy? 128 00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:04,356 All right. 129 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:06,358 It's good to see you. 130 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:07,971 Always great to be here, Timmy. 131 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:10,462 All right. What do you guys do to stay in shape? 132 00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:15,066 Well, not as much as you might think, Tim. 133 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:19,604 Pete's idea of a workout is the old one-armed doughnut curl. 134 00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:23,408 Is, um, fitness a big deal at K&B Construction? 135 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,121 Ah, it's job one, Timmy. 136 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:27,979 According to researchers at K&B R and D, 137 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:31,516 being in shape can help prevent injuries at the workplace. 138 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:35,453 The only way I can prevent injuries in our workplace is if Tim calls in sick. 139 00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:39,157 - [laughter] - That's a good one, Al! 140 00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:44,595 You know, Tim, studies have shown that hammering or any repetitive movement 141 00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:48,499 with the hand can cause carpal tunnel syndrome. 142 00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:49,634 To prevent this, 143 00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:52,103 my exercise program goes something like this. 144 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:55,006 - [deep breathing] - [watch beeps] 145 00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,022 Be sure to consult a physician 146 00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:04,048 before starting a strenuous exercise program. 147 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:07,252 Rock, what do you do to stay in shape? 148 00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:10,355 Well, during lunch breaks, I teach Jazzercise. 149 00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:12,823 [laughter] 150 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:18,363 That doesn't sound too manly, Rock. 151 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:22,367 We do it 80 stories up on a steel girder. 152 00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:25,736 Well, that'll put wind in your leotard. 153 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,673 Speaking of leotards, it's time to introduce our guest, 154 00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:30,808 a professional bodybuilder. 155 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:33,678 Not just a professional, a three-time world champion. 156 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,680 Here at Cobo Hall at the fitness show. 157 00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:38,749 Heidi, my bodybuilder, please. Miss Cory Everson! 158 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:44,321 [cheering] 159 00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,357 Ah, it's very good to have you on the show. 160 00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:48,225 - Thank you. - Cory's here to show us how 161 00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:50,239 to prevent injuries at work. 162 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,841 Yes. One of the leading injuries 163 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,843 in the workplace is injury to the low back, 164 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,900 because you're using improper mechanics. 165 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,201 Proper body mechanics. 166 00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:59,203 Use your legs to lift, not your back. 167 00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,839 And never rotate and torque your spine. 168 00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,442 That's what happened. 169 00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:07,678 There's some men that probably don't think 170 00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,614 women can lift the iron with the men. 171 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:10,848 I'm not one of them. 172 00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,717 But just for the sake of argument, 173 00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,452 do you want to go mano to womano? 174 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,900 - [Al laughs] - You want to compete against me? 175 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:21,259 - Yeah. - You do know I'm a professional? 176 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,660 I could've gone pro. 177 00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:26,030 I wanted to keep my eligibility open for the Olympics. 178 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:27,999 What event was that? 179 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,535 Synchronized Gluing a Board to Your Head? 180 00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:34,272 - [all laugh] - I remember that! Yeah! 181 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:38,242 Do you guys wonder why it's been three years 182 00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:40,612 since I've had you on the show? 183 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:43,047 - Let's get to it. - Tim, she looks pretty strong. 184 00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,249 I think she could bench press us. 185 00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:48,620 And, by the way, anytime. 186 00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:51,956 OK, let's try a nice light weight. Let's say 130 pounds. 187 00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:55,593 - OK, looks good to me. - Use your legs. [clears throat] 188 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:57,595 Come on, Timbo. 189 00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:01,799 Oh! [panting] 190 00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:05,102 - [Rock] Yeah! - [Pete] All right, Timmy! 191 00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:11,876 Your turn, Cory. 192 00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:24,622 [electric fizzling] 193 00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:32,630 - What was that? - What was what? 194 00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:39,571 [gasps] 195 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,784 Maybe you're not as strong as you thought. 196 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:45,176 Just hold on a second. I just need a better grip. 197 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,346 [exhales] 198 00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:56,788 Maybe you need the help of a big strong man? 199 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,727 [electric fizzling] 200 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:13,304 [Tim] Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Yeah! 201 00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,372 You shaved two seconds off your last try. 202 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,375 Now some ball-handling. All right? 203 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,877 Use your eyes. Use your eyes. Come on. 204 00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:23,280 - Yeah, yeah! - Brad, it's Friday night. 205 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,449 Wouldn't you rather be out having fun? 206 00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:27,218 No, Mom. Can't have fun. 207 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,865 Dad says I need work on my ball control. 208 00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:31,422 I'm gonna keep doing it so I can score more goals. 209 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:34,225 This kid's gonna be a superstar, right, honey? 210 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,962 - I guess so. - I can't hear you! 211 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,342 Tim, come inside. I want to talk to you for a minute. 212 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:43,301 - Don't slow down. I'll be right back. - All right. 213 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:47,505 Don't you think you're being a little hard on him? 214 00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:50,308 He loves this stuff. Keep your knees up! 215 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:53,244 Soccer has been fun. I don't want you working him to death 216 00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:54,812 and turning it into a chore. 217 00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:57,916 This is the difference between you and me. 218 00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,063 You look at the glass, you say it's half empty. 219 00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:02,368 I look at the glass and I say... 220 00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,592 it's broken. 221 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:11,829 Hi, sweetie. 222 00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:14,865 Mom, can you open this can? My nails are still wet. 223 00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:20,338 Why did you paint your nails black? 224 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,740 Why did you paint yours pink? 225 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,845 Oh, OK. OK. 226 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:29,981 I get it. I get it. You're trying to express yourself. 227 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:33,217 It's just part of growing up. I think it's really cool. 228 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:36,788 Yeah, in fact, you know what? I think they look great. 229 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:42,994 God help me! 230 00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:48,465 - Hi, guys. How's it going? - Hey, Mrs. Taylor. 231 00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:49,967 Hey. Terrible. 232 00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:52,903 The couple we've been avoiding cornered us after school. 233 00:12:53,005 --> 00:12:55,573 Yeah. We got a double-date with Cathy and Greg tonight. 234 00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:57,842 What happened to the excuses I gave you? 235 00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,210 Shot down one by one. 236 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:02,446 I should've asked Dad how he ducks people. 237 00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:04,293 He doesn't have to worry about it. 238 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,417 He's the one people are ducking. 239 00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:10,155 [sighs] Sorry I'm late. Got hung up at work. 240 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:12,356 We can catch the second half of the game. 241 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,993 - OK, I'm ready. - Look what I had made. 242 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:18,462 - [laughs] "Goal Brad Goal." - Hey. 243 00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:20,542 If your kid's a winner, you gotta flaunt it. 244 00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:21,806 Right. 245 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:27,171 - What are you doing home? - Coach kicked me off the team. 246 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:33,544 Why did the coach kick you off the team? 247 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,479 I told him off when he benched me. 248 00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:36,747 Why did he bench you? 249 00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:39,650 More importantly, who are you to tell your coach off? 250 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:42,486 Mom, we were up six to nothing thanks to me. 251 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:43,855 Then our coach gets this idea 252 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,823 he should put in the crappy players. 253 00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:47,725 The crappy players? 254 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,127 I'm just trying to build up my stats. 255 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,329 I had three goals and it wasn't half-time. 256 00:13:52,431 --> 00:13:57,234 I don't care if you had three... Three goals at half-time? 257 00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,014 I don't care if you had 600 goals. 258 00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:00,538 The coach runs the team, Brad. 259 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,007 The coach wouldn't have a team without me. 260 00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:04,342 Me, me, me, me, me! 261 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,804 When did you become the center of your own universe? 262 00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:09,547 Why don't you ask your shirt? 263 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:16,253 Shirts don't talk. 264 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,255 Dad, we've worked so hard for this. 265 00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,458 You gotta talk some sense into my coach. 266 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,271 No way your father's going in to talk. 267 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,128 - I'll talk to his coach. - Thank you. 268 00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:25,808 I'll tell him my kid was wrong. 269 00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,712 He deserves to be kicked off the team. 270 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:30,735 - Now you're bailing. - No. Don't start this. 271 00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:32,214 - I see how it is. - Hold on. 272 00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:34,250 I thought we were in this together. 273 00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:36,674 You know what? I was wrong. 274 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:39,410 What is with him? 275 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:42,313 Where did he get the idea I'd approve of him disobeying coach? 276 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,848 I don't know. 277 00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:46,684 Maybe it had something to do with "Brad, you're awesome." 278 00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:50,521 "Brad, you're the bomb." "I can't hear you!" 279 00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:55,560 Oh! You're blaming this on me? 280 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:56,902 I'm not just blaming you. 281 00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,674 I blame every man who thinks sports 282 00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,375 are the only thing that matters. 283 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:03,000 I blame the press for writing about winners. 284 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:06,237 The networks for making every game seem like life and death. 285 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,772 I blame the advertisers 286 00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:10,908 who only care about selling beer and $200 sneakers. 287 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:15,279 You're a rather angry woman, aren't you? 288 00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:22,487 Seventeen, 18, 19... 289 00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:27,692 - Easy there, neighbor. - [grunts] 290 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,694 You might end up herniating your 291 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,329 nucleus pulposus and end up with articulopathy. 292 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,367 - What? - A pain in your butt. 293 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:39,203 [groans] Is your yoga class over, Wilson? 294 00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:42,239 Yeah. Thought I might continue on with weight training. 295 00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:45,009 You know, firm and toned. 296 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,289 Why don't you try covered and hidden? Yah! 297 00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:51,949 [Wilson laughs] So where's Brad? I thought you were training him. 298 00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:54,385 I was. He got kicked off the soccer team 299 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,298 for mouthing off at the coach. 300 00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:59,356 I wonder if I'm putting too much pressure on him. 301 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,126 Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 302 00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:03,639 You know, Tim, my father and I 303 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,503 went through the same thing together. 304 00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,331 You played soccer? 305 00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:11,135 No, no, no, no, no, no. Bagpipes. 306 00:16:11,237 --> 00:16:12,803 You know, I was quite a prodigy, 307 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:16,607 but my father used to pressure me to practice five hours a day. 308 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,810 And that pressure brought on one of the darkest days of my life. 309 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:23,715 Tim, at the Saint Patrick's Day Parade, I showboated. 310 00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:24,982 Without shame, 311 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:28,385 I drowned out the entire All-City Leprechaun Choir. 312 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:34,959 - That reminds me of the time... - Tim, we're talking about me. 313 00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,161 Sorry. 314 00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:39,363 My father realized that his badgering 315 00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:41,465 was partly the cause of my behavior. 316 00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:45,135 - What did he do about it? - Well, he lightened up. 317 00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:46,604 Said, "Do your best. 318 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:49,239 If you're not the greatest bagpipe player in the world, 319 00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:53,577 it's OK." Oh, Tim, I felt so much better. I sat right down. 320 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:57,080 I wrote a letter of apology to each and every leprechaun. 321 00:16:57,182 --> 00:17:01,785 Wow. Did you have to write really, really tiny? 322 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:04,222 No, Tim. I didn't. 323 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,692 [tires screeching, sirens wailing] 324 00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:12,330 [man] Up against the wall, punk. And spread 'em! 325 00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:16,634 Very funny, Dad. 326 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,670 Turn that thing off for a minute. I want to talk to you. 327 00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:22,440 - There's nothing to talk about. - Yeah, there is. 328 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:25,176 I want to talk about teamwork. 329 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,589 Um, you know Barry Sanders, 330 00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,558 one of the greatest running backs alive. 331 00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,727 Not much without his offensive line. 332 00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:34,985 Michael Andretti, great driver. Not much without his pit crew. 333 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:39,724 Michael Jordan... Bad example. Um... 334 00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,125 I know what you're trying to say. 335 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,993 It's too late. I'm off the team. 336 00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:44,375 Listen for a minute. 337 00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:46,775 The reason I wanted the scholarship so bad for you 338 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:49,600 is because you have great athletic ability. 339 00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:52,369 You know, I never played sports when I was your age. 340 00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:56,140 [laughs] Yeah, I know. Grandma says you stunk. 341 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:59,276 It wasn't because I stunk. I wasn't interested in sports. 342 00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:01,778 Said you couldn't catch a ball to save your life. 343 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,014 - It wasn't because... - Two left feet. 344 00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:06,295 Let me tell you something about Grandma. 345 00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,599 Grandma, great! 346 00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:09,987 What a role model! Threw like a girl all the time! 347 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,124 And oh, oh, oh! It was always passed-down clothes for me! 348 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:15,759 You try playing football in tap shoes! Try that! 349 00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:17,528 Dad! Dad! 350 00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,497 - Let's forget about Grandma! - Yeah. 351 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,876 Her cube steak and stewed tomato dinner... 352 00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:25,869 Going out to football games I couldn't even think, I had so much gas! 353 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,772 OK. OK. 354 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,057 The reason I wanted you to do this 355 00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:36,791 is because you're good at soccer. 356 00:18:36,815 --> 00:18:38,716 I wanted you to realize your potential. 357 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:41,552 - That's what I want. - But none of that will happen 358 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:44,689 unless you show good judgment and respect for other people. 359 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:48,258 - So I guess I blew it. - No. We both blew it. 360 00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,205 I got too excited about this scholarship 361 00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:52,830 and I put too much pressure on you. 362 00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:55,777 - So what do we do now? - What do we do now? 363 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,246 I say we talk to your coach. 364 00:18:57,270 --> 00:19:00,004 What if he doesn't take me back? 365 00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:01,946 I think he will. You gotta apologize. 366 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,941 I do a little explaining. Huh? 367 00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,210 [sighs] Thanks, Dad. 368 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,223 You bet. If it doesn't work out, 369 00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:11,782 I know a guy that can set you up with a bagpipe scholarship. 370 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,133 It's just really great that you guys 371 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,901 finally found the time to get together 372 00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:23,761 - with Greg and me. - You're not an easy couple to pin down. 373 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:28,265 [laughs] And yet you managed to catch us. 374 00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,101 So how's your double-date going? 375 00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:33,081 Remember how I told you Cathy and Greg 376 00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:34,917 were the most annoying people in school? 377 00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:38,676 - Uh-huh. - They're the most annoying on Earth. 378 00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:41,511 Cathy and I can't wait to go bowling with you guys. 379 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:42,813 I have a 180 average. 380 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:46,383 - Oh, Greg. You're so showy. - I'm not showy. 381 00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:48,118 She always brings this up. 382 00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,631 - I do not. - Please! 383 00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:52,256 Last Thursday night with Dan and Irene? What was that? 384 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,135 You know what? Don't start with me. 385 00:19:54,159 --> 00:19:56,493 - You started with me. - This is a nightmare. 386 00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:58,995 [sighs] Well, look at the bright side. 387 00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:02,366 The bowling alley closes in five-and-a-half hours. 388 00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:06,537 - Let's go bowling! - This is it. We're sunk. 389 00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:09,573 So I'm ready to go bowling. How about you guys? 390 00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:10,708 You're coming with us? 391 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:13,055 Oh, I always go on all of Randy's dates. 392 00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,945 A boy needs his mother. 393 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:21,251 - That's right. - Lauren, you're OK with this? 394 00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:24,722 Yeah, I think it's great. [laughs] 395 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:26,624 You know, on really special occasions, 396 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,759 his grandmother comes too. 397 00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,796 Just me and my women. 398 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,933 - I realized I can't go bowling. - You can't? 399 00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,835 - I forgot my shoe inserts. - Oh! 400 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,338 - We should do this another time. - Yeah. 401 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:43,006 Sometime after the holidays. 402 00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:45,543 - When things settle down. - I'll call you. 403 00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:46,821 - OK. - OK. 404 00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:49,485 - Bye-bye. - [Jill] It was nice to meet you. 405 00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:51,848 [Randy sighs] 406 00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:53,762 I don't think you'll have to worry about 407 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,652 ducking Cathy and Greg anymore. 408 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,088 Thank you, Mrs. Taylor. 409 00:20:57,190 --> 00:20:59,590 You know, you are so much cooler than my parents. 410 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:00,902 - I am? - Yeah. 411 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:03,227 They have this thing about lying. 412 00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:05,462 They think it's wrong. [laughs] 413 00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:12,202 That's why I love my mom. 414 00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:17,975 - [The Battle of New Orleans plays] - Three, four! 415 00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:20,377 One, two, three, four! 416 00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:23,080 One, two, three, four! 417 00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:25,549 Hammer, hammer, hammer, hammer! 418 00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:28,052 And a Jack, jack, jack. Jack, jack, jack. 419 00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:30,654 Saw, saw, saw, saw! 420 00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:33,624 And one, two, three, four! 421 00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:36,193 One, two, three, four! 422 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,696 Rivetdance! Huh! 423 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:41,666 Lord of the Rivets! Huh! 424 00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:44,480 And one and two and three and four and five and six and seven, eight! 425 00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:48,205 One and two and three and four and five and six and seven, huh! 426 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:51,809 ♪ We stood beside our cotton bales and didn't say a thing ♪ 427 00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:55,111 [applause] 428 00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:00,550 Whoo! 428 00:22:01,305 --> 00:23:01,422 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org