1 00:00:00,834 --> 00:00:03,135 - Hi. - Oh, hi, sweetie. 2 00:00:03,237 --> 00:00:06,938 - You won't believe what happened to me today. - What? 3 00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:11,810 Wayne County Community College called the set and wants me to teach a class. 4 00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:15,547 How to Blow Yourself Up 101? 5 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:18,417 You know, these barbs draw blood sometimes. 6 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,997 It's actually a 12-week course in auto repair. 7 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,888 You'd be great teaching auto shop. 8 00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:26,925 That's what the dean said. What do I know about teaching? 9 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,295 - Isn't that what you do on Tool Time? - [chuckles] No. 10 00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:34,266 Tool Time is a veiled attempt at entertainment. 11 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:37,903 Teaching is serious business. You're talking about kids' futures. 12 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:42,741 If you don't prepare just right they're gonna heckle ya, throw spitwads at ya. 13 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:46,812 - They don't do that stuff in college. - Want to bet? 14 00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:50,048 You're always saying that you want to give something back 15 00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,284 to the automotive community. 16 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:55,787 I give them 30 percent of my annual income already. 17 00:00:55,889 --> 00:01:00,158 No, look. You'll finally get to share your knowledge of cars. 18 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,828 I share that knowledge with you guys all the time. 19 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:06,464 But now you'll be sharing it with someone who's interested. 20 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:14,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 21 00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:56,881 [chattering] 22 00:01:58,518 --> 00:01:59,784 Hello, class. 23 00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:02,754 Oh, whoa. Wayne Community College is proud to present 24 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:05,057 Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. 25 00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:07,559 [humming Tool Time theme music] 26 00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:10,429 Ha, ha! What's up? What's up? 27 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,563 - Welcome. - Thank you, Heidi. 28 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:16,334 - No, man, it's Billy. - But we'd trade him for Heidi. 29 00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:19,638 Thank you, flat top. 30 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,040 I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. 31 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,710 - For the next 12 weeks you will be my assistants. - Yeah. All right! 32 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,647 We're gonna talk about the most important part of a car. 33 00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:32,150 - The back seat? - [laughter] 34 00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:35,486 They'll be covering that in Miss Hensley's class down the hall, 35 00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:37,655 [with lisp] Our Bodies, Ourselves. 36 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,227 We're gonna focus on the engine, actually. 37 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,763 - All right! - No, no, sit, sit, sit! 38 00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:47,833 You don't need tools today. All you need is paper and pencils. 39 00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:51,603 I'm gonna do a history lesson about the internal combustion engine. 40 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:54,372 It's interesting because most people don't know 41 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:56,975 it was developed in a little village in France. 42 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,576 [laughter] 43 00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:05,884 - [Billy] That's cold. - Very good spit to wad ratio on that. 44 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:08,987 Very nice, very nice. 45 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,189 Is this not interesting? Is that the problem? 46 00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:14,125 - We came here to get our hands dirty. - Oh, really? 47 00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:19,030 Well, look. The school curriculum says the first lesson is just lecture, OK? 48 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:21,866 Since when does "The Tool Man" follow instructions? 49 00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:25,470 Right. He didn't follow them when he fell in that port-a-potty. 50 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:30,108 You know, this material is boring but it may come up on a test. 51 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,809 You make the tests. 52 00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:33,344 I do? 53 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:37,415 I can give D's rather than get them? 54 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:40,886 I'm the king. 55 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:43,755 And these are my subjects. I say, let's get greasy. 56 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,558 - [grunting] - Great! All right! 57 00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,195 We gotta get to the movies. 58 00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:53,064 I know. I just gotta set up the table for your dad. 59 00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:56,268 He's running late. I hope he didn't forget about the poker game. 60 00:03:56,370 --> 00:04:00,539 Dad forget about poker? It's like Mark forgetting to be a dork. 61 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:06,744 Or Randy forgetting to wear the color "puke." 62 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:10,782 Can we get through the rest of this evening without any more insults? 63 00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:12,517 Mom, I'll drive to the movies. 64 00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:14,986 Geek-boy and Vomit-Shirt can sit in back. 65 00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,924 Sorry I'm late. Thanks for putting the table together. 66 00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:22,394 - How did your first class go? - It was great. 67 00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,395 So much energy. I love school. 68 00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:27,598 And I think hell just froze over. 69 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:30,969 The two hours went by like that. They picked my brain clean. 70 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:34,038 What did you do for the other hour and 59 minutes? 71 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:40,077 I thought about what I was gonna buy with your allowance. 72 00:04:40,179 --> 00:04:43,815 I want to hear all about the class when we get back from the movies, OK? 73 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:48,086 You don't have to leave. I'm making my "mucho macho" chili. Stick around. 74 00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:50,689 Five men and a vat of chili. 75 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:56,094 Hm. You might want to get a hotel room. 76 00:04:58,132 --> 00:04:59,364 Later. 77 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,933 [all laughing] 78 00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:04,202 All right. Cut those. Everybody in. 79 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:08,040 The game, gentlemen, is Five Card Draw. Jacks back, snake in the grass. 80 00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:12,244 So, Professor Tim, how was your first day in the world of academia? 81 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,913 It was great. I have a really cool group of students. 82 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,617 Hey, during roll call was anyone named Seymour Butts? 83 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:22,387 Or Jacques Strap? 84 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,156 Or Kay O'Pectate? 85 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:28,559 When's the last time you were on a campus, Harry? 86 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,596 Oh, let's see. I got out of 'Nam in '71, 87 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:35,132 so that would make it... never. 88 00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:37,535 You ever thought of going back to school, Al? 89 00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,871 I don't know. What would I do at school? 90 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:43,374 Well, you could become a lab experiment. 91 00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,477 Let's go, guys. I've got rent to pay. 92 00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:49,280 You don't pay rent. You mooch off your aunt. 93 00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:52,149 It was a figure of speech. 94 00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:54,819 Right up there with, "My wallet's in the car." 95 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,321 [laughing] 96 00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:58,689 I need two and I'm in. 97 00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,926 - Anybody want chili? - Is it spicy? 98 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:04,162 Take the chrome off a bumper with this stuff. 99 00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:07,264 I'll eat it. Extra onions. 100 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,967 How could you digest that stuff? 101 00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:11,970 I said I'd eat it. I never said I'd digest it. 102 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:13,972 Harry, you want some? 103 00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,942 Oh, no, thanks. I don't want to irritate my colon. 104 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:24,115 Gee. Thanks for sharing. 105 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:27,452 - Al, you want some of this? - Oh, no, that stuff is way too spicy. 106 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:31,022 - Do you have any salt-free crackers? - Yeah, right here. 107 00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:33,959 Just have Benny lick the salt off for you. 108 00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:39,097 - Wilson, you want some? - Oh, no chili for me. 109 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:46,237 I just got my cholesterol results. I wish my IQ was that high. 110 00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,974 Wait a second. It is. 111 00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,344 We sound like a bunch of geezers. 112 00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:55,514 There's a very good reason for that. 113 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,415 [all] We are. 114 00:06:57,517 --> 00:07:00,819 I'm reminded of the English novelist Anthony Powell who said, "Getting old 115 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:04,923 is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you never committed." 116 00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:08,360 This is crazy. Come on, we've got our whole lives ahead of us. 117 00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:11,295 You think young you are young. We're young, right? 118 00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:13,631 [without enthusiasm] We're young. 119 00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:17,269 That was pathetic. Come on, say it. We're young. 120 00:07:17,371 --> 00:07:20,472 - [all] We're young! - We're vital. 121 00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,774 [all] We're vital! 122 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,410 We go out there and grab life by the yahoos! 123 00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:28,046 [all] Yahoo! Yeah! 124 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:31,783 Let's get this game going. I want to be in bed by 10:00. 125 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,769 - [boys] Ooh! - [Tim laughing] 126 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,138 That's it for the day, everybody. Good job. 127 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:45,564 Clean up your stations. I'll see you next time. 128 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:49,501 All right. Wait, wait, wait. Quick. Pop quiz: 129 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:53,371 - What's the coolest car of all time? - '72 Eldorado convertible. 130 00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:01,279 - No. - The '67 Mustang Fastback. 131 00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,314 Interesting, but so wrong. 132 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,816 '66 Karmann Ghia. 133 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,622 Get some help, Grant. Get some help. 134 00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,826 '65 GTO with a 389 tri-power. 135 00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:16,371 - Color? - Montero red. 136 00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:20,065 Montero red! So close and yet [buzzes] so definitely wrong. 137 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,233 Palmetto blue. Palmetto blue. 138 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,737 - Wait a minute. Are we graded on this? - Just you, Heidi. 139 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,272 Billy. It's Billy. 140 00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:31,610 Tim, we're headed to Carmine's for pizza. You want to come? 141 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:34,245 Are you sure you want to be seen with your teacher? 142 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,948 You're not like a teacher, Mr. Taylor. You're cool. 143 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,384 So, you cats dig me, huh? 144 00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,887 Up until that last sentence, we did. 145 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:48,893 You know, Grant, you're starting to remind me of me at your age. 146 00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:50,828 Thanks. 147 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,966 It's not a good thing. 148 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,601 - Come on, we'll ride together. - I don't know. 149 00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,038 Shotgun! 150 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,077 Wait. So, the guy says to the bartender, 151 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,813 "Who keeps saying all these nice things about me?" 152 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:12,317 And the bartender says, "The peanuts. They're complimentary." 153 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,452 - [laughing] - This is good. 154 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,914 Eight pieces of pizza, I'm still laughing. 155 00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:20,458 It wasn't that funny in the car with the windows rolled up, was it? 156 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,493 I'm still hungry. You got anything to eat? 157 00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:25,696 - Fridge is there. Help yourself. - Is this your old lady? 158 00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:29,067 Yeah. Although when you meet her, I might use some other term. 159 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,047 - She's a babe. - Yeah, she is a babe. 160 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:34,306 If you think she's a honey, wait till you see the honey in the garage. 161 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,275 Hey, can I eat this? Looks like tuna casserole. 162 00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:40,278 For your own safety, Grant, don't touch the casserole. 163 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:43,581 Put it down slowly, back away and don't make eye contact. 164 00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:50,622 Whoa. It's a '55 Nomad. 165 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,356 Fully restored. 166 00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:57,061 And fully restored again after you dropped that beam on it. 167 00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:01,632 - What do you got under the hood? - 395 horses. Listen. 168 00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:04,269 [revving engine] 169 00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:06,504 It sounds awesome. 170 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:10,308 But I bet it wouldn't beat my Firebird off the line. 171 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,345 - You don't think so? - Why don't we go find out? 172 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:16,614 Oh, right. You want to go drag race at 12:00 at night? 173 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,783 All right. 174 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,053 Our first field trip! 175 00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:25,957 [laughing] Oh! 176 00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:29,027 - Tim, what's going on? - Ahhh... 177 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:32,397 Hey, guys, this is my babe. 178 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,599 This is Grant, that's Brett, that's Billy. 179 00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,779 Hi. Can I talk to you for a second? 180 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:40,071 - Sorry to bother you, Mrs. Taylor. - Oh, no, that's OK. 181 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,506 I was just, uh, you know... sleeping. 182 00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:50,948 What are you doing revving up the engine at this hour? 183 00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,985 That was stupid. That's why I'm taking it outside. 184 00:10:56,856 --> 00:10:58,489 Now? 185 00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:02,727 Yeah, I'm gonna go out and do a little comparative driving. 186 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,397 - You're gonna go drag racing? - No! 187 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,801 I'm not gonna take those kids drag racing. We'll just cruise. 188 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,437 Wouldn't it be cool to take those kids off the line? 189 00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:14,572 Are you insane? 190 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,508 You have to work tomorrow. You should get some sleep. 191 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,344 I've got more energy than I've ever had, thanks to you. 192 00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:22,480 - Me? - If you hadn't encouraged me, 193 00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:26,851 I wouldn't be with these guys having fun. I'd be in bed with you. Gotta go. 194 00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:36,861 Who wants more breakfast chili? 195 00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:40,531 What's the difference between breakfast chili and dinner chili? 196 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,967 Well, in this case, about a week. 197 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,071 How can you have so much energy after spending the night 198 00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:49,507 with a bunch of guys screwing around with cars? 199 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:52,443 Well, I think you answered your own question, didn't you? 200 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,479 Why would your students want to hang out with you? 201 00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:57,282 'Cause they're sucking up. 202 00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:02,152 You gotta be pretty desperate to suck up to an auto shop teacher. 203 00:12:02,254 --> 00:12:04,289 Guys! Come on, you're gonna be late for school. 204 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:08,393 - Oh, we don't want that, now, do we? - No, we don't! 205 00:12:08,494 --> 00:12:10,929 Have a good day. Bye. 206 00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:14,165 Am I crazy or did I hear you come in at 2:00 in the morning? 207 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:18,102 You're crazy. It was closer to quarter to three. 208 00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:21,239 Hey, do you have any plans next Tuesday night? 209 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,807 No. Why, what's up? 210 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,177 We could invite some of the students and girlfriends over for dinner. 211 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:29,713 - Tuesday night's your poker night. - I'll skip it. 212 00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:33,083 You've played poker every single Tuesday night for seven years. 213 00:12:33,185 --> 00:12:37,421 It's getting to be a drag. All those guys do is talk about bodily functions. 214 00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:42,460 - You love bodily functions. - But I'm a doer, not a talker. 215 00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:47,798 Does everybody know what time it is? 216 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,411 - Tool Time! - That's right. 217 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:52,603 Welcome to Tool Time on location, starring that man in the tub, 218 00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:56,340 rub-a-dub-dub, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. 219 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,809 - Thank you, Heidi. - You're welcome. 220 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:02,212 Welcome to Tool Time on location. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. 221 00:13:02,314 --> 00:13:06,450 And speaking of tubs, here's Al Borland. 222 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:09,190 Thank you, Tim. We're gonna be doing a little 223 00:13:09,214 --> 00:13:11,756 repair work on the Burnett family bathroom. 224 00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:15,026 To get the ball rolling we have our friend and master plumber, 225 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:19,396 Felix Myman, who's going to show us how to get rid of a really nasty sink clog. 226 00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:22,433 And they say there's nothing good on TV. 227 00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:24,902 Felix, come on and join us. 228 00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,904 - Hello, Tim, Al. - How are you doing? 229 00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,338 Great to have you back. 230 00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:31,542 Felix has more of his work on TV than any other plumber I know. 231 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,722 Years ago I had my own cable show. 232 00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:37,414 Pipe Styles of the Rich and Famous. 233 00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:40,217 Felix, from now on let me do the jokes, OK? 234 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,954 - Well, why don't we plunge right in? - Al! 235 00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:44,956 All right, well... 236 00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:49,026 Now, the first thing you want to do is determine the nature of your clog. 237 00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:53,163 Well, my guess is, there's something foreign caught in the pipes. 238 00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,766 You think? 239 00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:59,236 Foreign? You mean like a Volkswagen? Maybe Julio Iglesias? 240 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,105 Maybe Stonehenge is in there. 241 00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:05,042 I'm on the clock, Tim. Every one of your jokes is costing you money. 242 00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:08,579 Not to mention our viewers. 243 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:12,149 To clear a foreign object through the pipe I use a snake. 244 00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:14,062 That's pretty old-fashioned stuff. 245 00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:17,722 Hip, young guys are using compressed air to clear their clogs. 246 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,925 That's fine if you've got hip, young pipes, Tim. 247 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:26,263 But these old pipes, compressed air can damage old plumbing. 248 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:29,734 That's right. A snake may be slower, but it's trusty and reliable. 249 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,502 [groaning] 250 00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,271 "Trusty" and "reliable. 251 00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:37,307 Are there two duller words in the English language? 252 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:41,946 Wait a minute. Yeah, there are. Al, you don't have a middle name, do ya? 253 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,581 [inaudible] 254 00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,616 Well, this clog won't budge. 255 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,185 I'm gonna need a snake with a retrieving auger. 256 00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:49,854 Wait a minute. Felix, come on. 257 00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:53,524 Go with compressed air. It's now. It's "go with the flow, baby." 258 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:56,394 If there was any flow, we wouldn't be here. 259 00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:59,596 I'm gonna get my pipe snake. 260 00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:03,700 While Felix gets the retrieving auger, why don't we take the time now to... 261 00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,083 Not so fast, Al. 262 00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:08,272 While he's gone... Heidi, my master blaster, please. 263 00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:11,876 - Here you are, Tim. - Thank you, Heidi. 264 00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:15,612 Uh... we might want to remind our viewers that these are old pipes, 265 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:19,116 and the master blaster blows compressed air at 1,400 psi. 266 00:15:19,218 --> 00:15:24,922 Well, it used to. Until I removed the regulator. Now it goes to 3,000 psi. 267 00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:27,992 - Tim, that's an awful lot of pressure. - [air blowing] 268 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,895 "The Tool Man" works great under pressure. 269 00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:34,098 - What are you doing? - Clearing pipes with compressed air. 270 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,167 - Don't burst my bubble. - [rumbling] 271 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:39,070 That's not the only thing your bubble's gonna burst. 272 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,337 Oh! 273 00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:43,074 - [rumbling] - [creaking] 274 00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:45,810 I worked on a sub in the Navy and I know that sound. 275 00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:48,679 - What happens next? - I'm going AWOL. 276 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,481 Me, too. 277 00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:59,023 I'm going down. 278 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:05,362 - Thanks, honey, for making this dinner. - I wanted to. 279 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,631 I've never seen you so excited about dinner. 280 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:10,300 It'll be great. For dessert we'll go to the garage. 281 00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:12,547 I'll introduce us all to the hot rod. 282 00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:16,040 - The dinner party of my dreams. - [laughing] 283 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,908 [doorbell ringing] 284 00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:23,180 - Hey, come on in. - Hey, Tim. This is Christy. 285 00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:25,049 - That's Andi. - [both] Hi. 286 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:27,919 Good to see you. 287 00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:30,388 This is my wife. Everybody, this is Jill. 288 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:33,357 Hi. It is so nice to meet you, Mrs. Taylor. 289 00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:36,794 - Oh, please, call me Jill. - Oh, I love your house! 290 00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:39,163 It reminds me of my mom's. 291 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,699 This place is so retro. 292 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:46,870 I've been meaning to ask you, where did you find this great '80's furniture? 293 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,607 In the '80's. 294 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:52,476 - Do you guys want sodas? - No, I brought brewskis. 295 00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:54,211 - Yeah. - Not me. I'm driving. 296 00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:56,914 - [cans opening] - Whoa! Party. 297 00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:01,018 - Can I get you a glass? Paper towel? - No, thanks. 298 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,455 How's that carpet doing? 299 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,957 Well, um... 300 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:10,394 We got hors d'oeuvres. You want to wait for Billy and his girl? 301 00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:13,397 - They may not be coming. - They didn't call or anything. 302 00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:16,867 They were thinking of going to a club, said they'd play it by ear. 303 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,669 Jill planned the party for eight. 304 00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:21,016 - She took a lot of work to do that. - It's OK. 305 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,941 - There's more food for the rest of us. - Yeah! Great! 306 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,476 - Yeah. - Then again, maybe not. 307 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,513 This meal was delicious, Jill. 308 00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:31,082 Oh, thanks. Thanks. 309 00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:33,283 Oh, my God. The chicken's all gone. 310 00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:36,153 I'm sorry. Did you want some? 311 00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:40,691 No, no! I'm just so surprised that anyone ate my chicken! 312 00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,606 It was nice of you guys to come by tonight. 313 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:48,499 - Yeah. We know it's a school night. - Oh, not for me. 314 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:51,769 We're playing hooky tomorrow because it's my birthday! 315 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,238 Yeah, it's the big two-three. 316 00:17:57,844 --> 00:18:00,477 Grant and I are gonna go and pick out a ring. 317 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,580 - Oh! Are you getting married? - No! 318 00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:07,818 Grant's buying me a nose ring! 319 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:12,322 Nothing says "I love you" like a piece of steel right through the nostril. 320 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:17,228 I wanted to get a nose ring, but Brett here thinks it's gross. 321 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:20,497 - I'm with Brett. - He wants me to get a navel ring. 322 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:22,633 Yeah, so it'll match mine. 323 00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:24,201 [Christy] Isn't it cute? 324 00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:27,338 Oh! Cool. Matching "his" and "her" lint traps. 325 00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,274 [beeping] 326 00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:33,277 - Oh. Can I use your phone? - Sure. Yeah, yeah. 327 00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:35,712 You know, Jill's in college now. 328 00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:39,450 Yeah. I went back for my Master's in psychology. 329 00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:42,320 It was really hard to go back at my age, but... 330 00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:46,357 I've always been fascinated by the complexity of the human mind. 331 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,627 - Keg party in Ypsilanti! - Whoo-hoo! Yeah! 332 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,662 Billy said we should all drive up. 333 00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:54,064 I can fit six in my truck. I've got the camper. 334 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:57,301 If we leave now we can get there for the first round of Thumper. 335 00:18:57,403 --> 00:18:59,904 - Whoo! - Hey, hello. Hello. 336 00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:02,473 What about dessert? Jill baked a real nice cake. 337 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,842 We can look at the hot rod. What do you think? 338 00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:08,612 - We can do that some other time. - Come on, Jill. Let's party. 339 00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:09,980 No, guys, I'm sorry. 340 00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:12,883 But there's no way on Tuesday night at 10:00 341 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,718 that I could drive to Ypsilanti. 342 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,755 I've got classes and I've got to get three kids to school. 343 00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:21,425 You? We can pull an all-nighter and get you back in the morning. 344 00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,393 Hmm. Let me think about it. 345 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:26,063 No! 346 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,805 I've got a real busy day tomorrow. 347 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:32,135 I've got to go to Small Claims Court about a little bathroom issue. 348 00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:34,772 If you don't want to go to Ypsilanti we don't have to go. 349 00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:38,876 No, you guys go and have a good time. I'll see you in class on Thursday. 350 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:39,989 - Bye. - Bye. 351 00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:41,323 - Thanks. - Bye. 352 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:42,914 Mind if we take a piece of cake? 353 00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:44,715 No. Please help yourself. 354 00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:47,551 - [Grant] Bye, thanks. - [Jill] Nice to meet you. 355 00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:50,788 - Thanks a lot, OK? - Bye, Jill. 356 00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:53,957 Yeah, OK. Bye! 357 00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:56,093 - Drive carefully. - Bye. 358 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:02,800 - Well, they seem very nice. - Yeah. Yeah, didn't they? 359 00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:06,404 If you like immature, irresponsible, rude people they're nice. 360 00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:09,941 Honey, they're kids. They were just acting like kids do. 361 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:12,176 We never acted like that in college. 362 00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:16,480 Tim, do you remember anything about college? 363 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:26,056 I remember there were a lot of stairs. 364 00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:29,059 I'm sorry this evening didn't work out the way you expected. 365 00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:32,596 I don't know what I expected. I'm not 21 years old anymore. 366 00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:35,466 I bet it was fun to pretend you were for a couple weeks. 367 00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,935 Did you ever envision yourself in the future, 368 00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:39,970 married in the suburbs with three kids? 369 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,339 No. 370 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:44,007 I figured I'd spend the rest of my life driving my van, 371 00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:47,478 listening to In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida on an 8-track. 372 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,982 I guess it's not so bad to be 40 instead of 20. 373 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:56,520 It feels good to be settled, have some roots, even though they're getting gray. 374 00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:59,189 To have a job, some money in the bank. That's good. 375 00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:02,326 We don't have to worry about getting lucky on New Year's Eve. 376 00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:07,230 We just have to worry about staying awake on New Year's Eve. 377 00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:11,034 So, how was it, being married to a college kid for a couple of weeks? 378 00:21:11,136 --> 00:21:13,370 Well, the sex was a lot better. 379 00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:18,942 No small thanks to the moves I learned from Mrs. Hensley. 380 00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:23,179 - Mrs. Hensley? - She had a class in the university. 381 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:26,149 [with lisp] Our Bodies, Ourselves. 382 00:21:26,251 --> 00:21:30,654 She's 75 and she can do some wacky things with the overhead projector. 383 00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:36,760 - [hissing] - I know that sound. 384 00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:38,662 I worked in the Navy on a sub. 385 00:21:38,764 --> 00:21:40,797 What happens next? 386 00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:43,300 AWOL. 387 00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:53,977 We're going down. 387 00:21:54,305 --> 00:22:54,604 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today