1
00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:03,568
Welcome to Tool
Time on location.
2
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:07,639
And now the star of our show,
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!
3
00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:13,212
Whoaaaaa!
4
00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:16,348
Thank you, Heidi.
Welcome to Tool Time.
5
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:20,952
I am Tim "Yee-Haw Man" Taylor.
6
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:24,356
Of course, you all know
my assistant, Mr. Al.
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00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:28,438
Tim, come on. Where'd
you put my shirt?
8
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:31,196
Oh, now, that's not funny.
9
00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:33,965
Sad, actually. The
shirt's big on the horse.
10
00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:37,369
- Here you go, Al.
- Oh, you guys...
11
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:39,549
Come on. [clicks tongue]
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00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:43,642
We're here at Willow Run at a
blacksmith's shop. A special show...
13
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:47,179
[both] Tool Time's
Timeless Tools.
14
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:51,550
And we enlisted the help of Delvin
Horsted, our blacksmith. Delvin?
15
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:57,555
- Welcome to the show, Delvin.
- Some welcome.
16
00:00:57,657 --> 00:01:01,894
You kept me waiting outside
my own shop by the manure pile.
17
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:05,964
Well, that stinks. And
we're very sorry about that.
18
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,568
But what a nice place
you have here, Delvin.
19
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:13,305
Thank you. It was built in
1910 by my father Melvin.
20
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,607
Ah.
21
00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:21,914
What was your grandpa's
name, Shmelvin?
22
00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:23,782
Yes.
23
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:29,855
OK, Delvin, why don't you show us
some of the tools of the blacksmith trade?
24
00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:33,225
Well, the most important tool
to any blacksmith is his anvil.
25
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:35,928
The anvil is where the
blacksmith hammers.
26
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,496
In the old days these
were made out of cast iron.
27
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But today they're
made out of forged steel.
28
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:47,038
Boy, that's an obnoxious noise.
29
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:51,677
- I thought
this was a tool show.
- It is.
30
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:55,480
So why don't we take a
look at these tools right now?
31
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:58,750
- Ooh, I know all about these.
- What do you know about tongs?
32
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:02,854
Shh, quiet. It's
the Chinese Mafia.
33
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,889
These are 36-inch tongs.
34
00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:08,860
Oh. The kind that Al's
mom wears at the beach.
35
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,129
I use them...
36
00:02:12,899 --> 00:02:16,101
I use them to take heavy
pieces of metal out of the fire.
37
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:19,371
The length keeps my
hands away from the heat.
38
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:20,905
Very important to a blacksmith.
39
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:24,109
You keep your hands
soft and silky-smooth.
40
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:27,846
I'm not the one wearing make-up.
41
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:33,051
Behave yourself. Now we know
something about these tools,
42
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,053
why don't we put 'em to work?
43
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This is Whiskey Pete. Whiskey,
how about some new shoes?
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Let's put her in an
espadrille or a slingback.
45
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:44,596
- This is a horse!
- Of course! Of course!
46
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:48,833
Delvin, what would be the first thing
you do when putting on new shoes?
47
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:51,236
Well, first you take
off the old shoe.
48
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,483
You get a firm grip
on the animal's hoof
49
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,827
and pull out the
nails with these pliers.
50
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:58,176
Let me give that a
shot. Hold onto that hoof.
51
00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:01,980
I don't want that horse kicking
me and turning me into a gelding.
52
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,350
[yells]
53
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:08,720
My thumb! That's it! That's it!
54
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:12,890
Let me show you tool boys
something else you can do with tongs.
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We'll be right back after
these words from Binford.
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Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
57
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If you want, I can hold
that across the room for you.
58
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This is a very comfortable
position for reading.
59
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,130
Face it, Mom. You need glasses.
60
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:28,900
Don't be ridiculous. I've
always had excellent eyesight.
61
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:32,270
Yeah, but now you're old.
62
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:35,206
Excuse me. I come
from good eye stock.
63
00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:38,076
Nobody in my family
has ever needed glasses.
64
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:41,346
Mom, have you driven
with Grandma lately?
65
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:44,382
Guys, think about it. Do
I look like an old person?
66
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:48,219
Do I act like an old person?
Do I move like an old person?
67
00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:51,189
So many questions,
so little time.
68
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:55,326
- What he said.
- Yeah.
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00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:57,868
Oh, come on. I am not old.
70
00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:01,065
I am youthful. I
am full of youth.
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00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:04,836
I'm vibrant. I'm in my prime.
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00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:13,044
Do you want me to
hold that from over here?
73
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,449
My big brother's in town.
You know what that means.
74
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:21,186
- Dusting off
the old bald jokes?
- Yeah.
75
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:23,922
Hey, Jeff. I love what
you've done with your hair.
76
00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:27,225
- And...?
- That's as far
as I've gotten.
77
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,462
My mom invited Marty and me
over for dinner. Wanna join us?
78
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:34,099
I gotta do some homework.
Besides, you guys can catch up.
79
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:37,669
- I can get that $1200
back he owes me.
- Yeah, forget about it.
80
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:41,339
They say if you loan money to
family, you gotta think of it as a gift.
81
00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:44,742
However, this was not a
gift. It was a business loan.
82
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,890
And his business
is up and running.
83
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:49,092
A perfect time to
get that money back.
84
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:51,516
Jeff's a great guy, but
he's not great with money.
85
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:54,953
- You're never gonna
see a dime of that.
- Really?
86
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:58,357
I say tonight I come
back with that money,
87
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:01,971
or... or I'll give up a day with
the hot rod to spend with you.
88
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:05,497
And how romantic that'll be
under those circumstances.
89
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:10,301
- Don't worry. It's never gonna happen.
- Gonna happen.
90
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:14,205
[door buzzer]
91
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:18,709
- Who is it?
- [Tim] It's Avon
calling, ma'am.
92
00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:23,048
I've got a peach
blush that's to die for.
93
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:26,117
- Come on in.
- Hey, Jeff. Tim's here.
94
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:30,087
And if I were you,
I'd put on a hat.
95
00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:34,458
- Jeffrey.
- Tim.
96
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,629
- Good seeing you.
- Good seeing you.
97
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,076
Hmm. I love what you've
done with your hair.
98
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:44,336
- Uh-huh.
- Where do you keep it?
99
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,807
On your back.
100
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,477
OK. Come on, boys. Don't start.
101
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,190
Marty, get me a beer, will you?
102
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:57,281
- Yeah.
- Whatever you're
cooking smells great.
103
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Jeff cooked the dinner. Used his
own recipe and his own pots and pans.
104
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:04,922
You're traveling
with cookware now?
105
00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:07,125
I check the pots curbside.
106
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,594
The spatulas and the
skillets are carry-ons.
107
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:13,030
Now you boys are both here,
we've got something to tell you.
108
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:16,601
There is a reason that Jeff is
traveling with pots and pans.
109
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,803
Jeff's become a Gypsy.
110
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:22,407
That's perfect. You can wear a
babushka now to cover everything up.
111
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:26,144
Jeff's new business didn't work
out quite as well as he'd hoped,
112
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:29,180
so he's gonna be
living here for a while.
113
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,549
- You're kidding?
- I thought it was on track.
114
00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:34,686
Well, I thought so, too,
but it's this darn economy.
115
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:38,689
The economy hasn't been this
good since they sunk the Lusitania.
116
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:42,727
I think the world just wasn't
ready for a drive-through pet shop.
117
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:45,229
It was Wal-Mutt, right?
118
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,732
Auto-Pet.
119
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:50,647
Jeff was a little ahead
of his time, that's all.
120
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:53,472
But he's got great ideas
for what he's gonna do next.
121
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,674
I haven't forgotten
that money I owe you.
122
00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:57,909
Money? What money?
123
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,078
You'll get it back
sooner than you think
124
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:05,783
because I'll be saving a lot of money
living here with Mommy... Mom, Mom!
125
00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:09,687
Wait a minute. You're a grown man
who's gonna let his mother cook for him
126
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:13,458
and clean for him, and take
care of him when he's sick?
127
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,261
You're a lucky S.O.B.
128
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:31,810
Mom.
129
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,578
OK, OK. All right.
130
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,147
I am a very old woman
who needs glasses.
131
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:38,883
There. I said it. Are you happy?
132
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:42,687
Actually, I was just gonna
ask you to pass the butter.
133
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:47,392
If you're so freaked out about getting
glasses, why don't you get contacts?
134
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:49,327
I only need them for reading.
135
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:52,397
I'll be putting them in and
taking them out all day long.
136
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:56,968
You could get those glasses on a
chain like our librarian, Mrs. Potemkin.
137
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:01,072
- Morning, everybody.
- Where were you last night?
138
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,785
I didn't even hear you come in.
139
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:05,243
You know those
Taylor get-togethers.
140
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,712
We start reminiscing,
next thing we're all oiled up,
141
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:10,615
wrestling for quarters.
142
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:15,920
I tell you, that mother-in-law of yours
can do a fierce body slam. Ba-da-bing!
143
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,955
Did you ask Jeff for the money?
144
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:22,160
No. You know that
drive-through pet store he had?
145
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:25,296
Yeah. What was that
called? Cat-In-The-Box.
146
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,132
He lost his business.
147
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,468
He doesn't have any money.
He's moving in with Mom.
148
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:34,739
A 45-year-old man living
with his mother. That's sad.
149
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:40,278
Well, you might wanna see where you
are in 30 years and then make that call.
150
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:43,981
- Poor Jeff.
- I hate to see him
struggle.
151
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,983
- See you, guys.
- [phone rings]
152
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,319
See you, Dad.
153
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,856
Morning.
154
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:54,492
Hello, Jeff.
155
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,761
Yeah.
156
00:09:59,832 --> 00:10:02,967
OK. Sure, after work. Thanks.
157
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:05,270
Bye.
158
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:12,810
You might find some bottles
with bigger print on them.
159
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:16,348
- I don't believe that.
- What?
160
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:19,016
Jeff wants to come over
and borrow my finger.
161
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:22,053
I won't ask.
162
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:25,356
That big foam finger I
use at the hockey games?
163
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:26,858
He's got a date.
164
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,729
He got front-row seats to
see the Red Wings tonight.
165
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,663
Front-row seats?
Isn't that expensive?
166
00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,810
Yeah. He paid a fortune for 'em.
167
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:39,003
A fortune he could be using to pay
me back or give Mom some rent money.
168
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,973
- Are you gonna
talk to him about it?
- You bet I will.
169
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,109
I'll talk to him tonight
when I give him the finger.
170
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,516
Oh, good. Randy, I
want you to see this.
171
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:54,485
What do you think?
Pair number one.
172
00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,724
- Très Mr. Magoo.
- Oh.
173
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,961
OK, OK, Tim, Tim.
174
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,563
What do you think of these?
175
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,207
They make your butt look big.
176
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,845
They do?
177
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:23,648
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- Oh, my God! They do!
178
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:26,417
They make my butt look big.
179
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:31,022
Trust me, honey. Your butt looked
just as big before you put 'em on.
180
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,626
There's probably a
better way to say that.
181
00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:37,896
Yeah, but don't
bother trying to find it.
182
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:41,799
I'm just gonna go up and
look in a full-length mirror.
183
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:48,139
If you had different glasses, you
wouldn't have to cover that thing.
184
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:51,108
- Hello to you, too, Jeff.
- Hey, Tim.
185
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,644
- Where's your date?
- Right here.
186
00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:55,313
Whoo-hee! And what a looker!
187
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,583
My date stood me up, so I
figured I'd treat my little brother.
188
00:11:58,684 --> 00:12:02,086
Yeah. He said if I'm good,
he'd buy me a Sno-Cone.
189
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,521
I'd like to talk
to Jeff in private.
190
00:12:04,623 --> 00:12:07,758
Go stick my finger
in your back seat.
191
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:13,765
You make it sound so dirty.
192
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,436
- So, what's up?
- It's none of my business,
193
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:21,305
but how are you affording
expensive hockey tickets?
194
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:25,443
- Well, I'm celebrating
my new business.
- You opened up a new business?
195
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:29,047
I had this brainstorm for a
mailbox-and-shipping store.
196
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:31,449
- There's a problem,
isn't there?
- What?
197
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:35,286
- You're broke.
- Not anymore. Got a very generous loan.
198
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,355
It'd be tough to get a bank loan
199
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,924
when your last
business went belly-up.
200
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:43,466
I got a private backer, and
there's the money that I owe you.
201
00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:46,530
- Sorry it took so long
to get it back.
- A private backer?
202
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:48,566
Someone gave
you cash for all...?
203
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:51,102
- Yeah.
- Who's the private backer?
204
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:54,572
Oh, I thought I
mentioned it. Mom. Bye.
205
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,841
Jeff!
206
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:05,049
Well, I figured out how come Jeff
could afford expensive hockey tickets,
207
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:08,286
pay off his loan in cash
and open a new business.
208
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,854
Well, what did he
do? Rob a bank?
209
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:14,091
Yeah, the Bank of Mom. He
got her to crack open her nest egg
210
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,761
so he could open a
mailbox-and-shipping business.
211
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:19,363
Oh, my God. With Jeff's luck,
212
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:23,034
he'll turn it into another
one of those K-Mutts.
213
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,103
I'm gonna go over
after the hockey game
214
00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:30,007
and tell Mr. Chrome Dome about
fiscal responsibility. I gotta tell him...
215
00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:32,955
You can talk to him till
you're blue in the face.
216
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,712
What am I supposed
to do about it?
217
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:39,216
Maybe I should go over there
and beat him up with my big butt.
218
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,390
Full house. Queens high.
219
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,860
- Oh, no.
- [door buzzer]
220
00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:51,495
Who is it?
221
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:55,466
[Tim] The FBI, ma'am. I'm
here for your strip search.
222
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,979
It's all right. It's only Tim.
223
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,204
I love your son in that show.
224
00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:02,774
They should just get
rid of the obnoxious one
225
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:06,277
that's always breaking things.
226
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,447
I think you're a
little mixed-up.
227
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,716
- Hi, Mom. Oh, hi.
- Hi.
228
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:15,653
This broke outside.
It wasn't me, I swear.
229
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:18,389
- Give me a screwdriver.
- Never mind. Never mind.
230
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,670
Say hello to Gwen,
Bertha, Alice and Lois.
231
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:26,530
Oh, hello, Tim. So
you finally got a toupee.
232
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:32,736
No. That's my older brother
Jeff. This isn't a toupee.
233
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:34,638
Whatever you say.
234
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:40,011
- So, speaking of Jeff,
is he here?
- He'll be back any second.
235
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:43,647
Say, while you're waiting, would
you like to play a little poker?
236
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:46,050
I couldn't take
your money, ladies.
237
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:54,491
Suddenly I am tired.
238
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:59,263
It's funny how fatigue sets
in after winning all my money.
239
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,232
Hey, Tim, ladies.
240
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,235
Lucille, walk me home, will you?
241
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,437
All this money
that I won from Tim
242
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,940
is putting a lot of
weight on my bad hip.
243
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:12,977
Double or nothing? Let's get
oiled up and I'll wrestle you for it.
244
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,513
I'd crush you like a grape.
245
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,795
- You missed one heck
of a game, bud.
- Did I?
246
00:15:20,819 --> 00:15:24,655
I'd like to hang onto your finger.
I've got tickets for next week's game.
247
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:28,026
We heard about your new
business. Sounds wonderful.
248
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:31,396
Maybe you should just
give up your little TV skits
249
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:34,832
and follow in your
brother's footsteps.
250
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:40,404
Well, I would, but I'd like to leave
my mom some money to retire on.
251
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:43,073
What's that mean?
252
00:15:43,175 --> 00:15:44,809
Why are you borrowing
money from Mom
253
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:47,110
to start another
fly-by-night business
254
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:48,612
and take money to pay me off?
255
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:51,794
First of all, this is
between Mom and me, OK?
256
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:54,018
Second of all, she
gave me the money
257
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:57,066
because she thinks my
fly-by-night business is a good idea.
258
00:15:57,090 --> 00:16:00,324
- Like Poodle Town?
- Auto-Pet.
259
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,604
I don't have to be
talked to this way.
260
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,929
I'm your older
brother, not a child.
261
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,431
I'm going to my room.
262
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:12,236
- Hey, Wilson.
- Hi-ho, Tim.
263
00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:15,439
I saw your light was on. What
are you doing to the Studebaker?
264
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:18,575
Nothing very interesting.
Just draining my radiator.
265
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:22,212
Well, I'd rather watch that than
watch my brother drain my mother.
266
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,181
Who wouldn't?
267
00:16:24,283 --> 00:16:27,618
Jeff got my mom to give him a
big loan to start a new business.
268
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,189
A new business? Whatever
happened to Long John Schnauzer's?
269
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:34,192
Well, that folded. Now
he's onto his next failure.
270
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:38,629
Oh, yes, I see. So you're worried
about your mom losing her money.
271
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,465
Yeah. I talked to Jeff about it
272
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,334
and he just said it's
none of my business.
273
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:46,970
Well, it's true, but
considering Jeff's track record,
274
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:49,941
the concerns you have
are totally understandable.
275
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:54,378
Yeah. So I'm caught
between a rock and a bald guy.
276
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:58,382
Tim, I can't find the drain plug to
this thing. Can you give me a hand?
277
00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:01,953
It's an old Studebaker. It's
on the left side. Got a lantern?
278
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,221
Right here.
279
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:13,698
Looks like it came off a ship.
Where'd you get it? Off the Titanic?
280
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,800
Yes.
281
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,215
Have you considered
talking to your mom?
282
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:23,307
- I can't talk to
my mom about this.
- Why not?
283
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:28,079
Tell her that I think that her
oldest son, my brother, is a loser?
284
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,648
If that is the case,
it'll hurt her feelings,
285
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,896
but isn't that better than
seeing her savings wiped out?
286
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,821
So I should just put
everything out on the table?
287
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,722
I'm reminded of
the famous words,
288
00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:42,626
"When in doubt, tell the truth."
Samuel Langhorne Clemens.
289
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:47,164
That big cartoon rooster? Well,
I say, boy... Well, I say, boy...
290
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:49,634
No, no, no, no, no, no.
291
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,381
See, Samuel Clemens is
the real name of Mark Twain,
292
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,583
one of America's
greatest thinkers.
293
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,642
Well, that big
chicken's pretty smart.
294
00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:01,245
Gave that dog a
run for his money.
295
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:05,683
I say, boy, I say, boy, that dog is
dumber than a sack of wet beans.
296
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:08,964
- Is Jeff home?
- No.
297
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:11,955
He's out looking for packing
materials for his new store.
298
00:18:12,057 --> 00:18:16,494
That's what I wanna talk about. I don't
think you should loan him the money.
299
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,728
You don't?
300
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,909
I think he's taking
advantage of you.
301
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:23,367
Oh. I can look
after myself, Tim.
302
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:24,980
Save some money for a rainy day.
303
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:28,406
You never know when
you're gonna blow out a hip.
304
00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:33,277
Look, I've invested
pretty well over the years.
305
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:36,414
And I can afford to take a
risk if I really believe in it,
306
00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:39,283
like Jeff's mailbox business.
307
00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:41,062
He can have his
grand opening sale
308
00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:44,421
and going-out-of-business
sale in one day.
309
00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:47,591
Tim, Jeff has really done
his homework this time.
310
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:49,560
These places do very well.
311
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,395
And he's found a
very good location.
312
00:18:51,497 --> 00:18:55,017
So when he hits you up for
money, you just fork it over to him?
313
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:56,867
He didn't hit me
up for the money.
314
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,769
I had to talk
him into taking it.
315
00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:03,407
Wait a minute. You talked him into
this? You believe in this that much?
316
00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:05,287
Well, why didn't
he tell me this?
317
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:08,012
Well, I'm sure he
was embarrassed.
318
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:11,648
Your approval means
a lot to him, Tim.
319
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,251
Since when did he
care what I think?
320
00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:16,186
You guys give each
other a hard time,
321
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:19,824
but deep down, Jeff
truly admires you.
322
00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:21,392
I don't think so.
323
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,462
Honey, you've got
everything in the world
324
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,730
that he'd like to have.
325
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:30,334
You've got a successful
career, you've got a great family...
326
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:32,603
Hair.
327
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:37,208
Yeah. That, too.
328
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:40,544
I'd love to see Jeff get
some of that good stuff.
329
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:42,179
That's why I gave him the money.
330
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:45,216
I'd do the same for you, honey.
331
00:19:45,317 --> 00:19:49,787
Boy, Mom, you cannot believe all the
shipping material out there these days.
332
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,955
Packing peanuts, foam popcorn...
333
00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:56,027
Makes me thirsty for a
Scotch tape and soda.
334
00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:59,441
Oh, you. Are you here to
convince Mom that I'm a bad risk?
335
00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:02,299
- No, Jeff. I just
came over to talk.
- This is good.
336
00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:06,437
OK, I just think I'll go out
and pop some bubbles.
337
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,508
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
This is so much fun!
338
00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:14,978
She's slipping already.
339
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,548
Look, um, I was out of line for
coming down on you, you know.
340
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:22,253
This is none of my business and
she has every right to loan you money.
341
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,489
How much did she
pay you to say that?
342
00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:28,092
There's nothing left.
You cleaned her out.
343
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:31,061
- Oh, yeah. Here we go again.
- Oh, Jeff, come on.
344
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:34,432
Mom says you've done
your homework on this one
345
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:35,999
and it's a real solid idea.
346
00:20:36,101 --> 00:20:37,868
You think so? God, I hope so.
347
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:42,773
I just can't take another
failure like Jiffy Pup.
348
00:20:45,178 --> 00:20:48,545
It was Auto-Pet. And you
were just ahead of your time.
349
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:52,783
- Thanks.
- If Mom believes
in you, so do I.
350
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:54,284
I appreciate that.
351
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:55,552
I'm just telling the truth,
352
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,754
like a famous American
said we should.
353
00:20:57,856 --> 00:21:02,226
- What famous American?
- Come on. Samuel Foghorn Leghorn.
354
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:06,563
He was one smart chicken.
355
00:21:06,665 --> 00:21:08,398
No, I'm talking
about Mark Twain.
356
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,801
The guy that wrote
Huckleberry Hound.
357
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,884
When you were a kid, did
Mom drop you on your head?
358
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:19,677
Yeah. The same day she dunked
your head in that vat of Nair.
359
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:30,087
- Hey, you got new
reading glasses.
- Yeah, yeah.
360
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:33,690
After checking out 300 frames,
I finally found the perfect pair.
361
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:35,426
And they're very cool.
362
00:21:35,527 --> 00:21:38,061
- Extremely slimming.
- [doorbell rings]
363
00:21:38,163 --> 00:21:41,531
For what they cost me, I could've
hired somebody to read for me.
364
00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:43,800
- Hi, honey.
- [Jill] Hi, Lucille.
365
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:47,638
- Sorry I'm late.
- I'm having trouble
with this recipe.
366
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:50,941
What does this mean when
they say coddle an egg?
367
00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:52,977
Oh, hello, egg.
368
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,780
Look at your cute little yolk.
369
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:59,016
Let me look at this here.
370
00:22:04,289 --> 00:22:07,324
Oh, my God. You have the
same Gianni Firenzi glasses.
371
00:22:07,426 --> 00:22:09,404
I didn't know what
they were called.
372
00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:12,530
They were giving them
away at the car wash.
372
00:22:13,305 --> 00:23:13,851
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