1
00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:06,038
Well, today we kick off the
Tool Time lyric-writing contest.
2
00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:08,773
For years our theme
song has had no words.
3
00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:10,175
Klaus?
4
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,944
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
5
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:16,949
Hey? And a theme song
without lyrics is like...
6
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,652
Well, it's like Al's mom
without a 5:00 shadow.
7
00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:26,591
As I was saying,
8
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,994
Detroit's finest songwriters
9
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:32,764
are vying to have their
lyrics be the crown jewel
10
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:35,600
in the dazzling Tool Time theme!
11
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:38,937
You heard it right.
There's no money involved.
12
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,839
Heidi, tell them how
the contest works.
13
00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:45,610
Well, our contestant begins to sing and
the moment we don't like what we hear...
14
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:46,911
Flonko!
15
00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:49,080
(GONG RINGS)
16
00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:51,060
Well, let's bring out
our first contestant.
17
00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:54,986
He is a carpet
installer, Wade Waller.
18
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,521
(ALL CHEERING)
19
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:03,895
Thank you.
20
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:05,297
All right.
21
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,177
All right, Waller,
let's hear you holler.
22
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:08,500
(WADE CLEARS THROAT)
23
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,436
One, two, three.
24
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,871
♪ Here's a song about Tool Time
25
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,039
♪ It's here now
26
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:16,208
♪ Here's a song about Tool Time
27
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:17,309
♪ And here it is
28
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,644
♪ Here's a song about Tool Time
29
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:20,979
♪ Here's a song
30
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:24,549
♪ Here is the Tool Time song ♪
31
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:28,187
And here's a Tool Time gong.
32
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:31,089
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's give a warm hello to
33
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:33,192
The Flannels!
34
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:42,901
Now there's a
good-looking bunch.
35
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:46,537
Yeah, if you're a single
woman at a Scottish mixer, huh?
36
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:47,918
Where are your
instruments, guys?
37
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:51,409
Oh, we don't have any.
We'll be singing Al cappella.
38
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,178
One, two and one.
39
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:56,448
(HUMMING)
40
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,916
♪ Everyone get set for Tool Time
41
00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:00,285
♪ Wrenches
42
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:02,421
♪ Everyone get set for Tool Time
43
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:03,721
♪ Ratchets
44
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:08,860
♪ Circular, circular,
circular, circular
45
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:15,534
♪ Saws! ♪
46
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,937
(ALL APPLAUDING)
47
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:23,208
All right!
48
00:02:25,178 --> 00:02:28,046
Well, they are great!
49
00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:29,859
Well, and congratulations, guys.
50
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:32,095
You made it into
the semi-finals.
51
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:33,885
♪ Semi-finals! ♪
52
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:35,621
Yeah!
53
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,456
You're great.
54
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:40,292
♪ Really great! ♪
55
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,172
See you next time.
56
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:45,997
♪ See us next time! ♪
57
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,176
You're pushing it.
58
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,567
♪ We're pushing it! ♪
59
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,614
Our next contestants
are a rap group,
60
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,183
and they are big
fans of the show.
61
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:54,951
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome
62
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:58,609
L.L. Tool J and
Grand Master Bath!
63
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,645
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
64
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,282
What's up?
65
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,495
♪ Yo, Tim's in the
house ♪ Rock the house
66
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,759
♪ Yo, Tim's in the
house ♪ Rock the house
67
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,967
♪ I say Tim's in the
house ♪ Rock the house
68
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,191
♪ You say Tim's in the house?
69
00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:13,466
♪ Wreck the house
70
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,539
♪ If you got a nice place
♪ And you want it kept
71
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,796
♪ Then ban Mr. Tim
♪ Because he's inept
72
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,030
♪ He'll blow off your roof
73
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,310
♪ And destroy your kitchen
74
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,433
♪ And next thing you know
75
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:22,579
♪ Your girlfriend's bitchin'
76
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,068
♪ 'Cause Tim is in the house
77
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,537
♪ Wreck the house ♪
78
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,205
Yo, what's up with that?
79
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:29,754
You dissed the boss.
That means you lost.
80
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:37,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
81
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,194
(SIGHS)
82
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:26,031
Now it's only 16 hours,
37 minutes, and 45 seconds
83
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:28,580
until you leave for Costa Rica.
84
00:04:29,203 --> 00:04:31,303
Forty-four seconds.
85
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:34,873
Randy, maybe we shouldn't
spend our last moments together
86
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,709
counting our last
moments together.
87
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,577
You're right.
88
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:47,364
I just can't believe you're
gonna be there for a whole year
89
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:48,965
and I'm not going with you.
90
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,789
I know. You know, when
we both applied for this thing,
91
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:55,394
I always pictured the two of us
working together in the rainforest.
92
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:58,263
You know, we'd spend our mornings
protecting endangered species...
93
00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:01,966
And our afternoons
collecting dung samples.
94
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,006
Look, it'll only be a year.
95
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,452
I'll be back here
before you know it.
96
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:10,742
I know. I know.
97
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:15,680
I'm just really gonna miss you.
98
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,882
I'm gonna miss you, too.
99
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:20,919
Randy, while I'm gone, would
you just promise me one little thing?
100
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,987
Don't worry about it.
101
00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:24,567
I won't look at any other girls,
102
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,436
except for maybe Tiffany Tucker,
103
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:29,961
who's got that nice mole
on her lip shaped like Idaho.
104
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:39,704
Must be so hard saying
good-bye for a whole year.
105
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:43,341
Looks like that kiss is
gonna last a whole year.
106
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,143
I hate to admit it.
107
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:48,313
I am so glad that he
didn't get into that program.
108
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:51,516
I'd hate to have my child living
in a jungle in Central America.
109
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,618
I think it will be a great
experience for Lauren.
110
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,820
She gets to frolic in the
sun, pick some coffee,
111
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:59,424
come back home with a nice
tan, and really wide awake.
112
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:06,464
Well, that's it.
Lauren's on her way.
113
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,833
How are you?
114
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,645
I'm all right. A little sad.
115
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:12,304
Hey, of course you're sad.
116
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,540
What you need is something
to take your mind off this, okay?
117
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,409
You know, when I
have young girlfriends
118
00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:19,777
that leave me for the jungle...
119
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,381
When something
bad happens to me,
120
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,383
I go to the garage
and work on cars.
121
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:29,688
When anything happens to you,
you go to the garage and work on cars.
122
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:32,535
You know what's weird is that it
was my idea to apply to the program
123
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:33,959
in the first place.
124
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,205
Now she's going and I'm not.
125
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:39,597
Things happen for a reason. I mean,
maybe Lauren was just meant to go.
126
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:43,668
Yeah. You know
how the world works.
127
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,777
They always favor the woman.
128
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,609
What are you doing?
129
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,722
I'm putting a scrapbook
together for Lauren.
130
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:56,381
Each item represents some
special moment in our relationship.
131
00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:57,649
Pasta?
132
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:01,920
Yeah. That's from
our first date together.
133
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:04,890
Good thing you didn't have fish.
134
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,425
Yeah. I'm gonna send this
to Lauren down in Costa Rica
135
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,961
so she'll have something
that reminds her of me.
136
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,075
Yeah, I think that's
really nice of you, Randy.
137
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,866
Here. You should put
that in there, too, man.
138
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,634
What's the significance of this?
139
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:20,238
Nothing. I just didn't feel
like walking to the trash.
140
00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:22,874
(PHONE RINGING)
141
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:26,077
Hello?
142
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:29,046
Yeah, this is Randy Taylor.
143
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,915
You're kidding!
144
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:33,084
Oh, this is amazing!
145
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,552
When?
146
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,989
This is great! I'll tell my parents
right away. Thank you so much.
147
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,858
Okay, bye.
148
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:43,161
This is great. Lauren and I
are gonna be back together.
149
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:45,709
What? They kick her out
of the program already?
150
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:47,732
I get to go to Costa Rica!
151
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,534
What?
152
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:52,715
Yeah, some guy dropped out of the
program and they're giving me his spot.
153
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:55,184
What? They expect you to
just pick up and go just like that?
154
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,387
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm
gonna be living with a family
155
00:07:57,411 --> 00:08:00,189
in San Ramon, which is only
20 miles from where Lauren lives.
156
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,413
I leave on Saturday.
157
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,914
You can't leave Saturday!
158
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,295
Well, why not? Well,
because... Because it's...
159
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,439
It's the day before
the day of rest.
160
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,769
Don't you need some
time to get stuff together?
161
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,137
Yeah. You have to get clothes.
162
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,471
You have to get all those shots.
163
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:19,263
Translate your records
into Costa Rican.
164
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:23,501
Guys, I know it's kind of
a rush, but I can do this.
165
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,080
You're sure you're okay with it?
166
00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:26,850
Yeah. It's all the
bananas you can eat.
167
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:27,874
Yeah!
168
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,118
We're great. TIM: Yeah.
169
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,487
No, we're really... Excited.
170
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,821
We're happy for you,
honey. Okay, cool.
171
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:32,922
Great. I'm gonna go pack.
172
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,423
We're really happy. Yeah.
173
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,347
Really.
174
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,783
I'm gonna be sick to my stomach.
175
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,418
My child is going
2,000 miles away.
176
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,286
I'm not gonna see
him for a whole year?
177
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,933
Why is it that we agreed
to this thing to begin with?
178
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:46,290
Because six months ago there
were hundreds of applicants.
179
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,137
I mean, now they've
picked him. I can't believe it!
180
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:51,307
Look, if you don't want him to
go, let's just tell him he can't go.
181
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,632
We can't do that. He'd hate us.
182
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,820
He's a teenager. He's
supposed to hate us.
183
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:59,337
No. Why? What?
184
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:00,939
We have to let
him go. We have to.
185
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,184
His girlfriend's gonna be there.
186
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,975
They're both really
committed to the cause.
187
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,454
I mean, he's got
his heart set on it.
188
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,445
So?
189
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:08,825
When he was eight years old,
he had his heart set on that pony.
190
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,560
He never got that. Yeah, well,
191
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:14,318
maybe if we'd given him the pony,
he wouldn't be going to Costa Rica.
192
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,989
I still know that pony guy.
193
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,298
I'll cut a deal with the guy.
194
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:23,526
Oh, it's probably a horse by
now, wouldn't it be, 'cause it's...
195
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:30,001
Poncho, insect repellent,
compass, hiking boots.
196
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,403
What am I forgetting?
197
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:35,173
You got underwear?
198
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:39,277
Of course I have underwear.
What do you think I am? An idiot?
199
00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:42,380
Okay, I'm an idiot.
200
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:45,583
So I bet you're looking forward to
being down there with Lauren alone, huh?
201
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:48,153
Brad, it's not
gonna be like that.
202
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:51,356
Lauren's chaperone
is 6'2", 250 pounds,
203
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:55,226
and she is very strict.
204
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:58,596
Well, I think it's really cool you're going
down there to save the environment.
205
00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:02,100
You don't think I'm crazy
for doing this, do you?
206
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,769
No, no. I don't
think you're crazy.
207
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:07,205
I mean, I think it's
gonna be kind of weird.
208
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,884
'Cause I figure that by
the time you get back,
209
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:11,275
I'll probably be headed
off for college, you know?
210
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,784
So this year would've been our
last chance to hang out together.
211
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,515
Yeah. We could've done
some major partying.
212
00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:19,951
Well, I'm not really
the party guy, but...
213
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:24,222
Well, I guess we could've
tortured Mark together.
214
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,258
Yup. I am definitely
gonna miss that.
215
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,871
Of course, you
know, if you want,
216
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:33,064
I can score you some
Costa Rican itching powder.
217
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:38,369
And if you do, I promise to send
you the pictures of Mark's rash.
218
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:40,316
Hey, men. What are
you guys talking about?
219
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:43,508
We're actually just talking
about Costa Rican itching powder.
220
00:10:43,577 --> 00:10:45,843
Hey, don't get me
started, all right?
221
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:47,390
Years ago when you
wanted a good itch,
222
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:50,815
you bought American,
all right? Yeah.
223
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:54,685
We used to be proud of this
country's novelty products in my day.
224
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:56,232
All right. I'm gonna go
write to my congressman.
225
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,022
Good work.
226
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:00,069
While you're at it, why don't
you tell him about the influx
227
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,393
of that fake vomit from Japan?
228
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:05,582
All the bean sprouts in
there. What's that all about?
229
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:14,139
Now I know where I got
my global consciousness.
230
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,973
Freakin' right, man.
231
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:20,122
Need any help packing? No.
232
00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:22,647
I think I got everything.
Oh, rain pants.
233
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:25,883
I need rain pants. You think
Mom could pick me up a pair?
234
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:29,587
I think your mom would stitch them
herself and drive them down there for you.
235
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:30,766
What do you mean?
236
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,323
Well, you know,
237
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,604
she's having a little trouble
at the thought of you leaving.
238
00:11:34,628 --> 00:11:35,938
She didn't say
anything about it.
239
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,707
I don't think she will. She
won't say anything about it.
240
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,808
But, you know, she's
pretty worried about you
241
00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:41,877
living halfway around the world.
242
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:43,468
Dad, it's no big deal.
243
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,148
It's like I'm going to
sleep-away camp for a year.
244
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:47,983
Except this camp,
instead of arts and crafts,
245
00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:51,376
you've got tarantulas
and man-eating fish.
246
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:55,479
Not to mention the constant
threat of a peasant uprising.
247
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:59,017
Dad, Costa Rica is the most
stable country in Central America.
248
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:02,854
Oh, yeah. That's what
they said about Nicaragua.
249
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:05,990
Now the people down there are
deprived of the most basic freedoms.
250
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:09,693
You can't buy a Chevy big
block down there! You know that?
251
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:13,697
And this bothers Mom how?
252
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:17,435
I'm just saying that
she's worried, you know?
253
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,437
I just wanted you to know that.
254
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:22,218
Just the thought of you moving
so far away is eating her up inside.
255
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,186
If Mom was so
worried about this,
256
00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:25,854
why did she let me apply to
the program in the first place?
257
00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:27,490
If she knew she was
gonna be this worried,
258
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,191
I don't think she would've
let you apply to the program.
259
00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:31,894
Why are you telling me this
now, Dad? I leave tomorrow.
260
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,584
I just thought it
might be interesting
261
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,773
to find out how your mom
feels about it, that's all.
262
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:39,001
Great. So either miss out
on the opportunity of a lifetime
263
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:42,193
or turn my mom
into a basket case?
264
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,128
So you've got options.
265
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,167
Tah-dah!
266
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,437
I went to camping stores.
267
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,672
The totally mosquito-proof
hat. What do you think?
268
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,085
Mosquito-proof hat. Great.
269
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,876
I'll be the only kid in
Detroit wearing one.
270
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,156
What's that supposed to mean?
271
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,980
You got your wish. I'm
not going to Costa Rica.
272
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,260
Why? Why not?
273
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,117
Why don't you ask
your middleman?
274
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,554
What just happened here?
275
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,601
It's okay. It's okay.
He'll calm down.
276
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,370
Good news is our
son is now buying
277
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:16,928
his itching powder
right in the US of A.
278
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,567
Let me get this straight.
279
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,935
Randy is not going
to Costa Rica because
280
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:29,139
you told him that I was
worried about spiders and fish.
281
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:33,255
And that you were worried
about him being so far away.
282
00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:35,639
I covered all the bases.
You don't need to thank me.
283
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:36,848
Thank you.
284
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:38,049
Well, you're welcome.
285
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,330
Tim, I am worried
about him going,
286
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,354
but I told you I wasn't
gonna stop him!
287
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,490
That's why I
stopped him for you.
288
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:48,760
Look, it doesn't matter who stopped
him. The point is he's not going.
289
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:52,430
So he's gonna miss
this incredible adventure
290
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,633
and spend the rest
of his life blaming me.
291
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:58,381
You know, I thought you'd
be happy that I fixed things.
292
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,871
Tim, this isn't a leaky
faucet or a broken carburetor.
293
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:03,574
This is my relationship
with my son!
294
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,809
I did not ask you to fix it!
295
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:08,346
Not literally.
296
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:12,616
But you were sending some
very strong subliminal messages.
297
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,429
Really? Well... Yes! Yes!
298
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:18,990
Okay, so can you pick up on this
message that I'm sending you right now?
299
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,764
That is not physically possible.
300
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,234
Hey, Wilson.
301
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,248
Hidey ho, good neighbor.
302
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,571
What's all the smoke?
303
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,273
I'm roasting Joe.
304
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:41,245
Well, I don't hear any screams.
305
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,681
He's obviously
taking it like a man.
306
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:45,115
(WILSON CHUCKLING)
307
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:47,652
No, in honor of Randy
going to Costa Rica,
308
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,520
I'm roasting coffee beans.
309
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,322
Randy's not going.
310
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,091
Why not?
311
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:55,793
Because I told him Jill
didn't want him to go.
312
00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:58,061
So the trip is
off just like that?
313
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,841
Jill must be very
upset about him going.
314
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:01,532
The only reason I told him that
315
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,479
was because Jill was worried
about his health and safety.
316
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,214
I mean, he's not gonna
be home for Thanksgiving.
317
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,382
We won't see him at Christmas.
318
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:07,983
He won't be here
when I finish the hot rod.
319
00:15:08,007 --> 00:15:10,541
Oh. Uh-huh.
320
00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:12,654
He's gonna celebrate a
birthday down there, you know.
321
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:14,245
If we want party
pictures, you know,
322
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:18,249
I'll have to pick up a copy
of National Geographic.
323
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,229
Well, I'm still back at "ah."
324
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,296
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
325
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,486
Huh?
326
00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:26,401
Tim, have you ever
heard of a play...
327
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:27,858
No, no, no.
328
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,795
No plays, no ballets, no
chamber music. None of that.
329
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,497
Just give it to me straight.
330
00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:36,234
I'm talking about the
Shakespearean comedy As You Like It.
331
00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:38,180
Now in this play,
the young Rosalind
332
00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:41,739
is uncomfortable expressing her
feelings for the nobleman Orlando.
333
00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:44,208
The only way she
can speak her mind
334
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:48,679
is by dressing up as a man,
the shepherd Ganymede.
335
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:57,088
Okay. What does a cross-dressing
sheep lover have to do with me?
336
00:15:57,157 --> 00:16:00,758
Well, I suspect, just as Rosalind
masqueraded as Ganymede,
337
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:04,228
perhaps you were
masquerading as Jill.
338
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,367
Once I tried on a pump.
339
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,372
It was Halloween,
for God's sake!
340
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,887
No, I'm talking about
masquerading your feelings.
341
00:16:17,911 --> 00:16:21,846
I mean, is Jill really the one who will
miss sharing the hot rod with Randy?
342
00:16:21,915 --> 00:16:24,248
Of course. She's the one...
343
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:30,287
Are you suggesting I stopped him
from going because of my feelings?
344
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:33,956
Well, that answer can only
come from the masquerader.
345
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:37,361
All right, all right.
346
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,964
I tried on the pantyhose, too.
347
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,002
Hi.
348
00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:46,603
Hi.
349
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:47,783
Is Randy back yet?
350
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,640
No, he's not.
351
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,308
When he gets back,
352
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:54,923
I'm going to tell him that I'm
okay with him going to Costa Rica.
353
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:58,516
And you might also tell him that it
was me that had the problem with it.
354
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,718
I don't want him
leaving for a year.
355
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:04,722
You were projecting your feelings on
me because you're in denial about him.
356
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,869
You have all these emotions
you want to express to him.
357
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,670
You just don't
know how to do it.
358
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,406
Yeah, and if you could just tell
him that, you know, I'd call us even.
359
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:13,931
Not gonna happen.
You have to do this.
360
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:17,234
Randy, guess what? Good news.
361
00:17:17,303 --> 00:17:20,604
Here are your rain pants.
You are going to Costa Rica.
362
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:22,440
What? What's changed?
363
00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:24,308
Talk to the middleman.
364
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,278
I don't get it.
365
00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:31,281
Well, it's complicated.
366
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:34,051
Geez. Here. Would
you slice this for me?
367
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,058
Do you remember
your first solid food?
368
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:43,094
I was seven months old.
369
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:45,629
So you do remember.
370
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:48,077
Your mom tried to get you
to eat that wimpy rice cereal,
371
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:50,801
but I gave you a bratwurst.
372
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:53,437
No wonder I became a vegetarian.
373
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,639
So why am I going
to Costa Rica again?
374
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,341
It's complicated.
375
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:02,012
How did you become 16 already?
376
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,782
Well, I woke up one
morning, I was 15, and thought,
377
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:07,384
"What the heck!
Let's keep on going."
378
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,153
So back to the Costa Rica thing.
379
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:12,389
Damn it, I'm gonna miss you.
380
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:16,460
So you're the one who had
the problem with me leaving?
381
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:20,131
The longest I've ever been
away from you has been a week.
382
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,767
Yeah. And I visited you in
the hospital every single day.
383
00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:29,740
I'm just not comfortable about you
leaving like this, you know? We...
384
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:33,222
We haven't gotten a chance to do half
the stuff I've talked about doing with you.
385
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,179
Like what?
386
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:38,015
We never souped
anything up, even a bicycle.
387
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:39,717
Come on, Dad.
Don't you remember?
388
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:43,354
I was the first six-year-old ever
to be pulled over for speeding?
389
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:45,935
If you'd just ducked into that alley,
that cop would've never seen you.
390
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,325
I know.
391
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,974
You never talked about girls.
392
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,932
Well, I'm not leaving until
Saturday. What do you want to know?
393
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:01,511
I laugh with you. Boy,
I'm sure gonna miss you.
394
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:05,309
Dad, I'm only gonna
be gone a year.
395
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:09,847
Yeah. Yeah. You
can call, you know?
396
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,293
You know, and then when
you get back we can go
397
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,528
on that fly-fishing
trip we talked about.
398
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:15,586
Yeah. I'd like that.
399
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:18,756
You know, it takes a lot of
courage to go to a strange country,
400
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:22,359
2,000 miles away. A lot of
kids would be scared to do this.
401
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:25,295
Well, to be honest, I am scared.
402
00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:29,199
Yeah, I've talked to a lot of
people who've been down there,
403
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:30,713
but I don't know
what I'm getting in for.
404
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,202
Yeah.
405
00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:34,849
If you got any trouble or any
questions, I'm just a phone call away.
406
00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:38,075
So fill up those rain pants
with quarters, all right?
407
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,310
Thanks, Dad. Yeah.
408
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:41,646
Oh, I'm gonna miss you.
409
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,714
I'm gonna miss you, too.
410
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:46,394
But you're gonna be just
fine. You're gonna do well.
411
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:48,352
You think so? Yeah.
412
00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:52,623
You've survived every
natural disaster known to man
413
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:56,393
right here in this house.
414
00:19:56,462 --> 00:20:01,098
MAN OVER P.A.: Flight 557 will
now begin boarding through Gate 17.
415
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:03,111
Well, I guess this is it.
416
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:04,167
Yeah.
417
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:05,581
MARK: Have a good trip, Randy.
418
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:07,104
Thanks, Mark.
419
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:12,243
And here's the video I made of you
and Lauren making out in the gazebo.
420
00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:15,178
You're a very odd boy.
421
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:16,380
But I'm gonna miss you.
422
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:18,949
I'll miss you, too.
423
00:20:19,017 --> 00:20:21,752
You, I'm not gonna miss so much.
424
00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:23,287
Have a good trip, buddy.
425
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:24,788
Save a tree for me, eh?
426
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:26,923
You got it.
427
00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:28,032
Dad.
428
00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:29,960
I got you a little present.
429
00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:33,397
A recorder, so you can record your thoughts
in the jungle, send them back to us.
430
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:35,532
We put some stuff
on there like this.
431
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:38,201
JILL: Wear your sun
block. Don't forget to write.
432
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,339
TIM: Never look a
monkey in the eye.
433
00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:47,177
Thanks, Dad.
434
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:52,664
Mom.
435
00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:54,685
I'm fine. I'm fine.
436
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,321
I packed some snacks
in your backpack
437
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:58,767
in case you don't like
the food on the plane.
438
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:00,391
There's celery. There's carrots.
439
00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:04,027
Or if you want to mix them
together, there's celery and carrots.
440
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,562
I love you.
441
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:08,299
I love you, too.
442
00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:10,367
You have a great time.
443
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,803
And don't forget to write.
444
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:14,305
Call when you get there!
445
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:16,540
Call before you get there!
446
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:20,511
Or I could open the emergency
door and just yell out of the plane.
447
00:21:38,897 --> 00:21:40,898
That'll help. This helps.
448
00:21:48,207 --> 00:21:51,575
Costa Rica is the most stable
country in Central America.
449
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,911
That's what they
said about Nicaragua.
450
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:55,846
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)
450
00:21:56,305 --> 00:22:56,299
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