1
00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:05,937
Brad!
2
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:10,742
How many times have I told him
not to leave these lying around?
3
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:12,278
Huh.
4
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:14,513
This'll show him.
5
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,619
What am I doing?
6
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,727
Honestly, what do you think?
7
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:40,216
It's kind of a "lumber jacket."
8
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,241
Yeah! Yeah! That's good.
9
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,610
I'm wearing this to kick
off Woodworking Week.
10
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:48,613
Honey, listen, the
Calvin Pine collection.
11
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,128
You smell kind
of like a bookshelf.
12
00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:54,786
Yeah. It's Old Cedar.
13
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:57,689
It's very sexy.
14
00:00:57,757 --> 00:01:00,325
Yeah? Yeah.
15
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,138
I thought you had to
go to the class today.
16
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:04,082
Not till about 10:00. Oh, boy!
17
00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:08,032
I have a kind of a window of
opportunity. How about you?
18
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:11,236
Oh, I've got to be at
Tool Time in 20 minutes.
19
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:14,406
So, I just have,
like, a little peephole.
20
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:15,641
Oh, boy.
21
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,543
I can work with that, I think.
22
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,779
No. I gotta... I gotta...
23
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,249
Should we get that?
24
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:24,382
What?
25
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,418
The phone.
26
00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:29,365
No. Let the machine get it.
27
00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:33,658
Hey, bro. It's Jeff.
28
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,626
Listen, I decided to
take you up on your
29
00:01:35,650 --> 00:01:37,862
invitation to have dinner
and watch the fight.
30
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,342
Although I may be a little late
31
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:43,469
because I have an
appointment with my podiatrist.
32
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:47,072
Tim, I've got a fungus
infection between my toes
33
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:49,608
that would just
turn your stomach.
34
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,621
Just ignore him. He does
that to get a rise out of me.
35
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,523
He won't. JEFF: It's
unbelievable, Timmy!
36
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:56,848
There's this yellow stuff
oozing out of my toenails.
37
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:01,520
Actually, it's more of
a light green or a teal.
38
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,968
Hard to describe
on the phone, Tim.
39
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:07,672
I'll show you tonight
over dinner, okay? See ya.
40
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:11,263
That just put a
lock on my window.
41
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:15,334
Hey, but Daddy's
got the master key!
42
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:09,954
Okay, I know this.
43
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:14,826
The cerebrum is responsible
for sensory and neural function,
44
00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:16,328
motor coordination...
45
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:18,997
And one more thing.
46
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,136
Memory! Damn!
47
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,676
Hi, honey. Hi.
48
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,289
What are you doing
home so early?
49
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:36,014
Three words. Rag, oil, match.
50
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,922
Well, the boys
are still at school.
51
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:46,310
How's that window
situation holding up?
52
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:50,328
Oh, the window.
53
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:54,198
Actually, I'm wide
open until after 2:00.
54
00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:57,268
And then again
between 3:00 and 3:30.
55
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,140
Two windows in
the same afternoon?
56
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:06,778
There's bound to be
some broken glass.
57
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,881
I'm willing to risk it.
58
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:16,988
Should we get that?
Let the machine get it.
59
00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:23,294
Jill, honey, it's me, Carrie!
60
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:25,296
Oh, my God! That's
my sister Carrie!
61
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,265
Let the machine get it.
62
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,335
Surprise!
63
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:31,769
Hi, Carrie.
64
00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:34,939
What ya doing?
65
00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:40,212
I was looking for a quarter.
66
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,580
I guess I came at a
good time then, huh?
67
00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:45,494
God! What are you doing here? You
never said you were coming to Detroit.
68
00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:46,830
Oh, I got a last-minute job.
69
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,031
Well, what are you gonna do?
70
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,966
I'm photographing
a magazine cover.
71
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,690
I just thought I'd stop by
on my way to the hotel.
72
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,893
You are not staying at a hotel.
73
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:58,462
Honey, she's a grown woman.
74
00:04:58,531 --> 00:05:01,866
If she wants to stay in a hotel,
who are we to stop her, huh?
75
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,735
She is not staying at a hotel.
76
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,248
You can stay in Randy's room.
77
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:06,549
But when you stay down there,
78
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,584
you gotta go all the
way up to the bathroom
79
00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:11,120
and then you gotta jiggle the handle
of the toilet because it kind of runs.
80
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,621
So, I should have Brad
stay down in Randy's room
81
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:13,856
and you can stay
up there in his room.
82
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:14,946
Great. Okay.
83
00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:16,514
Tim, is that okay?
84
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:18,349
I have no idea
what she just said.
85
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:22,053
But that's okay.
86
00:05:22,121 --> 00:05:24,289
Boy, I wish I could
find a guy like him!
87
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:26,157
Yeah.
88
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:28,760
Well, Carrie, when they
made me, they broke the mold.
89
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,236
I believe you broke the mold.
90
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:39,437
The skin between every single one of
my toes is cracked, splitting and raw.
91
00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:44,009
Could you pass the creamed corn?
92
00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:46,922
There you go.
93
00:05:46,946 --> 00:05:49,981
I'll tell you, this
fungus is painful.
94
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,861
Not as painful as
hearing about it.
95
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,852
You know what's the
worst? Plantar's warts.
96
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,388
You have to scrape that
skin off the inside of your toe...
97
00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:59,902
Okay, that's it. Dinner's
over. Time for the fight.
98
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:02,426
Yeah. What?
99
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:04,362
Carrie, you're home early.
100
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:07,232
Yeah. Am I glad that job's
over! My feet are killing me.
101
00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:10,802
Please, no more feet.
102
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,370
Is Jeff here?
103
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,250
Hi, Jeff. Hi, Carrie.
104
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,241
Oh, it's great to see you again.
105
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:17,686
Great seeing you,
too. You look terrific.
106
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,911
Thanks. So do you.
107
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,991
And thanks for sending me those photographs
from Tim's Fourth of July party.
108
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,226
Oh, we had a
great time together.
109
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:24,515
Oh, yeah.
110
00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:26,785
Until Tim almost shot
that bottle rocket up your...
111
00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:29,954
Yeah. Heineken anyone?
112
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,135
Nothing like a cold beer before
a fight. Come on. Let's sit down.
113
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,858
Oh, I love boxing!
Who's fighting?
114
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,860
Ironhead Johnson.
115
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,029
Versus my man!
You ready to rumble?
116
00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:44,402
From San Juan, Puerto Rico, Chi
Chi "The Mucho Macho" Hernandez!
117
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:48,339
I hate boxing. It's
bloody. It's vicious.
118
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:51,542
Sounds like Jeff's
last marriage.
119
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,722
Yeah. Since the last time I
saw you, my wife and I split up.
120
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,925
Yeah, Jill told me
that she left you
121
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,283
and you're living with
your mother again.
122
00:06:59,353 --> 00:07:02,653
Gee! Thanks for the build-up.
123
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,867
I guess it lost a little
something in the translation.
124
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:05,924
You think?
125
00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,258
I'm really sorry, Jeff.
126
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,927
Well, you know,
these things happen.
127
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:11,029
So, how long you
gonna be staying here?
128
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:14,738
Well, my job's over and I really don't
have to be anywhere else for a week.
129
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,034
A week?
130
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,706
Hey, is that all?
131
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,410
Chi Chi!
132
00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:29,547
Man, those body
blows are unbelievable!
133
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,550
Twenty bucks says Chi Chi comes
out of this with a ruptured spleen.
134
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,297
You're on. Okay.
135
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:38,290
I happen to know he lost
his spleen in the Lopez fight.
136
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:40,458
That's why he's
down a weight class.
137
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:42,961
I can't stand this anymore.
I'm gonna go upstairs and read.
138
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,429
Good night, guys.
139
00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:46,932
Was that a tooth that
flew out of his mouth?
140
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,267
Tonsil.
141
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:50,402
Oh, man!
142
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,004
Oh, this is great,
143
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:56,875
I love watching sweaty,
muscular guys test their manhood.
144
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:01,746
You know, in
college I used to fight.
145
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:03,814
You were a boxer?
146
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,616
Well, I know my way
around the ring, yeah.
147
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:09,020
They called you what, "The
Humongous Fungus," right?
148
00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:14,377
Get him, Itchy Toe! Hit him,
Itchy Toe! Come on, baby!
149
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,696
Hey, what a fight! What a fight!
150
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,699
Chi Chi must've stopped
87 shots with his head.
151
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,668
So, he lost again?
152
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,436
No! No! Won the fight.
153
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,316
It was on a technicality.
But a win is a win.
154
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,841
I guess Ironhead's urine
sample came up a bit dirty.
155
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:33,177
Please, spare me the
details. Did Jeff leave?
156
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,946
No. He's down there
talking with Carrie.
157
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:45,990
What are you doing?
158
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:48,326
Hoping to log on to Windows 98.
159
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:54,165
We can't be doing that. My sister's
gonna be up here any minute.
160
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,266
So?
161
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,168
So she'll be right next door.
162
00:08:57,236 --> 00:08:59,036
And she's not a sound sleeper.
163
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,916
I don't think she'll
be up for a while.
164
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,640
How do you know that?
165
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:07,545
Because Jeff is talking
about shoes, and feet.
166
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:10,915
His feet, her feet,
our family's feet.
167
00:09:10,983 --> 00:09:14,552
You know, if you took
a little whiff right here...
168
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:18,122
You might become intoxicated
by the deep aroma of wood.
169
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,313
You think? I think so.
170
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:28,199
That's Carrie! You said
she wouldn't be up here!
171
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,267
Jeff probably
took his socks off.
172
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:36,173
Well, that's it. We
can't do that now.
173
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,776
Why not?
174
00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:40,978
It'd be too weird. Yuck!
175
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:44,882
It doesn't bother me.
176
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:50,154
Well, you'd be comfortable
doing it with a relative in the room.
177
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:53,491
If you're not comfortable in
front of family, why bother?
178
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:57,094
I'm sorry, honey.
179
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:59,897
But there's not any sex
happening here tonight.
180
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:07,204
Oh, yeah.
181
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,473
Oh, yeah.
182
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,208
Oh, no!
183
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,664
I can't believe my sister's
in there with your brother.
184
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:40,304
I can't believe my brother's
feet are touching those sheets.
185
00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:46,444
We're gonna have to boil
those things, you know.
186
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,146
How could they be
involved with each other?
187
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:51,427
Maybe they're not involved.
188
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:54,931
Maybe they just stepped
up here for a quick boink.
189
00:10:57,223 --> 00:11:01,492
This is absolutely unbelievable.
They've been at it for almost an hour!
190
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:04,695
I had no idea Jeff had
that kind of staying power.
191
00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:07,098
Jeff and Carrie, of all
people in the world?
192
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:10,701
Well, some women go for
that bald look, you know?
193
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:13,970
They stare in that shiny head
and they can fix their make-up.
194
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,175
What would my sister
see in your brother?
195
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,277
I just told you. Herself.
196
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:25,416
No. I don't mean the bald thing.
197
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,218
You know, Jeff
is just... He's so...
198
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,453
So what?
199
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,389
Well, he can't keep
a job... He can't...
200
00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:33,268
Oh, stop it... He's
been divorced twice.
201
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:35,159
He's, you know, kind of uncouth.
202
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,295
My brother reeks of couth.
203
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:41,343
And what makes you
think Carrie's such a catch?
204
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,501
Carrie? She's a great catch.
205
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,981
She's an accomplished photographer.
She's cute. She's warm. She's funny.
206
00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:47,765
She's a mooch. What?
207
00:11:49,842 --> 00:11:52,310
How does she always
end up staying here?
208
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,413
She's always on her way to
this imaginary hotel of hers.
209
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,615
The "Holiday Inn Her Mind."
210
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:01,364
Oh, I don't want
to argue about this.
211
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,687
Look, Jeff is just the wrong
guy for my sister, okay?
212
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,767
What you mean is he's not
good enough for your sister.
213
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:07,225
I never said that.
214
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:08,471
But that's what you mean.
215
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:10,094
Don't tell me what I mean.
216
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,441
I don't need to tell you what you
mean, you know what you mean.
217
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,825
I do know what I mean. And
it's not what you think I mean.
218
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:16,545
And who are you to tell
me what I mean, anyway?
219
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,937
Half the time you don't
even know what you mean!
220
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,216
What's that supposed to mean?
221
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,040
What do you think it means?
222
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,987
I don't know. I'm not even
sure what the original topic is.
223
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,644
My sister. Your brother.
224
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,112
What? Yes!
225
00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:33,056
You think your family's
better than my family.
226
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:35,253
That is so untrue.
I love your mother.
227
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:37,032
I'm not talking about my
mother. How about my brothers?
228
00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:38,556
Your brothers are fine.
229
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:41,726
Not as fine as your
couthy, intelligent sisters.
230
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:42,995
What's that supposed to mean?
231
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,740
You think my
brother's a lowbrow.
232
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,642
I never said that.
That's what you mean.
233
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:47,999
You have no idea what I mean.
234
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:51,435
Let's not go there again.
235
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:54,083
You look down on my brothers
because you think they're unsophisticated.
236
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,719
And when you look down on
them, you look down on me.
237
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,254
I do not. You are
being so ridiculous.
238
00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,822
I'm just not even gonna
talk to you anymore.
239
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:02,913
Oh, that'll last
about five minutes.
240
00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:05,394
If I had a nickel for every time
you talked to me after you said
241
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:07,530
you weren't gonna talk to
me again, I'd be a millionaire.
242
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,887
Oh, please! There's
a dime right there.
243
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,770
Oh, look who came up for air!
244
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,128
Oh!
245
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:20,598
Hi, uh, Carrie and I were just
upstairs. She was showing me her...
246
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:21,744
Photographs. Photographs.
247
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:23,246
That's what you're
calling them now?
248
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,669
Yeah.
249
00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:28,872
Jeff's just gonna take me
out to grab a bite to eat.
250
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:30,174
See ya.
251
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:34,590
Well, looks like another
Patterson woman lowered herself
252
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:36,934
to the level of a Taylor man.
253
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:40,051
You are such a jackass.
254
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,485
Let's see...
255
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,957
Jackass one or two words?
256
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,140
Welcome back to
"Woodworking Week"
257
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:54,098
and our special segment
on dents, defects and gouges.
258
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,412
Now, we've just showed you how
to inlay knots to cover blemishes.
259
00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:58,881
Since we're done
working on Al's face,
260
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:00,805
we can now start
on this nice table.
261
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:05,209
Okay, say you have a
lacquered or varnished table...
262
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:08,913
You have a lacquered
or varnished table.
263
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,582
With a small dent in it. Doink!
264
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,818
Not to worry.
265
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:16,498
No need to sand off the finish to
restore this table to its natural beauty.
266
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:20,925
No, no, no. We're gonna show you
a process that we call "doping in."
267
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:23,272
Doping in can be done
in one of two ways.
268
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,629
You can stick Tim into the dent.
269
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:33,871
Or you can apply a small drop
of the same finish into the dent
270
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:35,673
with a toothpick
or a small brush.
271
00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:37,552
That's right. And once it dries,
272
00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:39,721
just repeat the process
until your dent is filled.
273
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:41,623
Now, moving on
to a larger project...
274
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:43,714
We've got Al's mom's TV tray.
275
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,321
Still moving on.
276
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,723
Now, take a look here.
277
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:56,060
If you have a prominent
crack, perhaps it's spreading...
278
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:02,333
Moving on again.
279
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,280
You can keep this crack
from getting any bigger
280
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,804
by installing a
decorative butterfly key.
281
00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:09,707
Like one of these ones
I carved earlier today.
282
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:11,087
Well, Tim, that's made of ash.
283
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,310
I know.
284
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,623
Well, our table is made
of bird's-eye maple.
285
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:15,858
They're from two
different families.
286
00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:17,314
So what?
287
00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:20,084
Well, ash is a coarse grain
and maple's a fine grain.
288
00:15:20,152 --> 00:15:23,787
They just... They
don't go together.
289
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,390
Are you saying your wood
is better than my wood?
290
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:27,925
No.
291
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:30,005
Your wood is classier and
more intelligent than my wood?
292
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:31,640
What are you talking about?
293
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:35,366
I'm talking about people that
look down on other people's wood.
294
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:39,536
Maybe your maple
could just kiss my ash.
295
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:45,009
Okay.
296
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,922
What I would use for a
decorative butterfly would be...
297
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,423
I'm not finished yet.
I'm not finished yet.
298
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:51,448
You know, just because a
wood is coarse and unfinished
299
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:53,951
doesn't make it inferior.
300
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:57,221
You know, I believe this country
was founded on the principle
301
00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:01,325
that all wood has the inalienable
right to become a nice cabinet!
302
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,514
What exactly is your point, Tim?
303
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:16,340
I mean that all wood
is created equal,
304
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:20,010
regardless of
color, creed or burl.
305
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,513
And fourscore and
seven tables ago...
306
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:26,684
We'll be right back to "Woodworking
Week" after we medicate our host.
307
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,062
Ha!
308
00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:40,298
Hey, Wilson.
309
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:41,699
Hi-ho, Jill.
310
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:42,833
What are you doing?
311
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:45,202
I am celebrating Yabusame.
312
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:48,350
You know, at Yabusame time in
Japan, members of the Shinto religion
313
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,941
shoot arrows to
expel evil influences
314
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,578
and resolve
long-standing quarrels.
315
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:58,215
Well, if you have
any extra arrows,
316
00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:00,550
you ought to send one over here.
317
00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:02,519
Problem, neighbor-san?
318
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:07,858
My sister Carrie started
seeing Tim's brother Jeff.
319
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,927
We won't go into the how,
when and where of that.
320
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:12,463
But I didn't think it
was a good match.
321
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,365
Tim got all sensitive about it,
322
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:18,368
accused me of looking
down on his family.
323
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:20,071
Well, why did he do that?
324
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:23,775
I have no idea. I have always been
the one who defended his family.
325
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,676
To whom? My family.
326
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:28,913
Well, you know, my dad.
327
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,981
Oh, yes! The Colonel!
328
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,017
He was a very opinionated man.
329
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:34,985
Judged everybody
according to rank.
330
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:38,214
Oh, I remember that. Used to
call Tim "Corporal Punishment."
331
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:42,860
Well, then he promoted
him to "Major Butt-head."
332
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:45,307
I never wanted to be like my dad.
You know, look down on people.
333
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:47,509
That's why I've always been
very accepting of Tim's brothers.
334
00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:49,967
Accepting of Tim's brothers?
335
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:53,437
If you're trying to imply that Tim's
right, you are way, way off base.
336
00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:57,107
If I was that judgmental, I never
would have married someone like Tim.
337
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:03,547
"Someone like Tim." Oh, my God!
338
00:18:03,615 --> 00:18:05,850
Listen to me.
339
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,418
I've become my father
without the scowl.
340
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:10,132
Jill, everybody picks up certain
341
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:12,234
negative characteristics
from their parents.
342
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,836
Yeah, well, I knew I picked up
negative characteristics from my mother.
343
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:16,472
I didn't know I'd gotten
them from my father, too.
344
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,307
That hardly seems
fair. Right there.
345
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:21,110
See, now, by identifying them, you
make the first step to overcoming them.
346
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:23,779
You know, it took me years of hard work
to get rid of my father's annoying traits.
347
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,436
Really? What was he like?
348
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:26,704
Odd man.
349
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,773
Kept to himself.
350
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,809
Never really let people
see the whole person.
351
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:40,651
You look great.
352
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:41,985
Thanks.
353
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,087
Jeff's taking me to
Sorrentino's for dinner.
354
00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:46,323
Whoa!
355
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:49,627
So, you two really seem
to be hitting it off, huh?
356
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:51,895
Well, yeah.
357
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:55,466
We had a great time
together yesterday, although...
358
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:58,736
Although what?
359
00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:02,273
Well, Jeff's a nice guy.
360
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,541
But he's had all those
business failures.
361
00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:06,610
He never even finished college.
362
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:09,180
He's obsessed with his feet.
363
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,750
What do you think of him?
364
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,752
Jeff? Yeah.
365
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:18,589
I think he's a sweet
and decent guy.
366
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:21,158
That's what I thought.
367
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:23,038
And then last night when
he dropped me off, you know,
368
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,162
I just started
picking him apart.
369
00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:28,699
That critical voice you're hearing,
you know where you get that?
370
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,768
It's from Daddy.
371
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,436
What do you mean?
372
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,817
You remember how he used to
put everybody under the microscope?
373
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:39,310
If you examine anybody that
closely, you're gonna find flaws.
374
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:42,713
Maybe you should
give Jeff a chance.
375
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,214
I think you're right.
376
00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:46,917
Especially since you're
already sleeping with him.
377
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,220
We did not sleep together!
378
00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:51,400
Oh, really?
379
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,757
No! Well, we started kissing.
380
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:57,027
And then I remembered
my sister was right next door.
381
00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:01,376
Of course, Jeff
could've cared less.
382
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,801
He would've been
fine with the door open.
383
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:06,150
Tim would do it on Tool Time.
384
00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:13,411
Now, listen! Listen!
Ignore that critical voice.
385
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:15,359
Okay. Okay.
386
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,949
He's been divorced twice.
387
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:21,318
I met both of them.
He's better off.
388
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,530
Go! Go, go, go!
389
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:23,854
Okay. Coming!
390
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:27,658
Hi, Jeff.
391
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,660
How're you doing?
392
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:33,075
Hey, good news. After our romantic dinner,
we're going to "Fight Night" at Cobo Hall.
393
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:34,698
Well, that's fantastic.
394
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,133
Yeah. And I got you this.
395
00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:38,468
Oh, you're so sweet.
396
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:39,770
Yes, I am.
397
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:42,105
Guys, have a good time.
398
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:48,045
I saw Jeff's car.
Where's he taking Carrie?
399
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,613
Dinner and a fight.
400
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:54,485
Sounds like Friday
night at our house.
401
00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:58,722
Okay, okay.
402
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:02,960
I was wrong to be
so judgmental of Jeff.
403
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:04,695
Wow! You were judgmental?
404
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:09,678
It was that Patterson family
gene just seeping through.
405
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:13,770
I mean, you guys may be a little
rough around the edges, but, hey...
406
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,651
What's the surprise? You're men.
407
00:21:17,643 --> 00:21:21,879
And for men, you're very open,
accepting and caring people.
408
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:25,749
Plus we're really
good at Skee-Ball.
409
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:29,720
I think that if Jeff happens
to fall in love with Carrie,
410
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:32,188
she'd be lucky to have him.
411
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,725
Yeah? Uh-huh.
412
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:36,826
Where are the boys?
413
00:21:36,895 --> 00:21:38,429
At the movies.
414
00:21:43,602 --> 00:21:46,002
How would you like to
crack open that window?
415
00:21:50,275 --> 00:21:51,575
Hey, Wilson?
416
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,744
Hidey-holy henna! What
happened to your head?
417
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:56,847
I just saw Al's mom naked.
418
00:21:58,016 --> 00:21:59,294
Look, Tim, that's made of ash.
419
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:00,884
I know that.
420
00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:04,473
And this table is made of
bird's-eye marble. They're... Marble?
421
00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:08,099
Yes!