1
00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:04,736
Well, that about
wraps up Tool Time.
2
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:08,473
So, Tim, what have
we learned today?
3
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:11,810
Well, we learned that blown
foam insulation is a great way
4
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:14,839
to reduce energy
costs at your house.
5
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,481
And?
6
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:20,319
Well, and that blown foam
insulation is a great sound-dampener.
7
00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:22,020
(CHUCKLES)
8
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:25,157
And when the manufacturer
says 100 psi max,
9
00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:28,593
they mean 100 psi
10
00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:31,263
max!
11
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:39,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-
12
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:25,528
Hey, Al. Hey.
13
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:27,051
Cable show ratings just came in.
14
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,421
I think you might
want to take a look.
15
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:31,100
Ah, congratulations, Heidi!
16
00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:34,404
You won again with
males aged 13 to 95.
17
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,929
Keep reading.
18
00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:40,677
Ah, well, my ratings are up
again in the "likeability" column.
19
00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:41,866
You're off the charts!
20
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:45,069
Yeah. Oh, my God! I beat Tim!
21
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,105
Yes! Congratulations.
22
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:51,009
Listen, you really ought to take
advantage of this new popularity.
23
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,318
What do you mean?
24
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,679
Well, when's the last time
you appeared in public?
25
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:58,316
Well, Tuesday I went to the
mall for peanut brittle and a belt.
26
00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:01,052
I mean, you should be doing
promotions and endorsements.
27
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,389
Al, you could be the
next Ed McMahon.
28
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,568
Ed McMahon?
29
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:06,824
Uh-huh.
30
00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:09,794
(IMITATING ED McMAHON)
31
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,641
I'll be goshed... Hey,
guys. Who's got the ratings?
32
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,009
Hide them. Here comes Tim. Okay.
33
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,043
There we go. Where's
the ratings sheet?
34
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,144
Huh? What? I don't know.
35
00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:17,369
Huh? What? Huh? This.
36
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,504
Oh!
37
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,851
Hey, once again, Heidi,
in the stratosphere.
38
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,052
Yeah.
39
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,109
What is it with you and men?
40
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,246
What the...
41
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,259
Hey, the show's
doing pretty well.
42
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:32,003
(GRUNTING) Oh, no.
43
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,231
I didn't beat you by much!
44
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,666
Okay, I'll clear out my locker.
45
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,134
Hey, don't be ridiculous.
46
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,636
Whatever gave you guys the idea
47
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,571
this was some type of
competition? Come on!
48
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,306
Well, maybe because every
month when these come out,
49
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,597
Tim runs around going,
"I won! I won! I won!"
50
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:49,067
All right. All right. Okay.
Maybe Heidi's right.
51
00:02:49,135 --> 00:02:51,169
This isn't a competition.
52
00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:53,082
These numbers are
good for the show.
53
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,151
Good for you, Al.
We're a family here.
54
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,186
Yeah. Well, thank you, Tim.
55
00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:00,178
You know, I never thought
this would happen to me.
56
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:02,347
I've always lived in
someone else's shadow.
57
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:03,760
Well, growing up with your mom,
58
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,784
I'm surprised you
knew there was a sun.
59
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:08,853
All right!
60
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,555
I'm gonna go tell
Trudy the good news.
61
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,101
Yeah. Congratulations again, Al.
62
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,759
Thank you!
63
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,137
I think he took it pretty well.
64
00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:17,281
Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
65
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,115
Hey, Brad?
66
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,072
What's up, Mark?
67
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,052
If a girl named Erica calls,
tell her I'm not here, all right?
68
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:32,289
What? Is she, like, the
ugliest girl in junior high?
69
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,923
Actually, she's the prettiest.
70
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,525
I wish she'd just
leave me alone.
71
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:39,551
Wait, wait. There's no
way you and I are related.
72
00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,398
I'd love to go out with Erica.
73
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:44,956
Just all she does is complain
about her jerk boyfriend.
74
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,992
Mark, Mark, wake up.
75
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:49,161
She's using you as
her shoulder to cry on.
76
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,606
You know what that means, right?
77
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:52,797
Yeah. She thinks I'm a girl.
78
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:58,102
No. No. She thinks you're
a caring, sensitive listener.
79
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:01,039
And when she finally breaks
up with that jerk boyfriend of hers,
80
00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:02,907
you're in the pole position.
81
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,155
All I have to do is just sit
on the phone and listen?
82
00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:08,647
You don't even have
to listen. Just pretend.
83
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:13,051
Every so often say lines like
"I sympathize with your needs."
84
00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:18,156
And when you want to whip out the
big guns, try "I hurt when you hurt."
85
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:22,059
This is so devious.
86
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:23,728
Thank you.
87
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:28,833
Hi.
88
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,880
Hi. Did you get my tulip bulbs?
89
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:33,938
Oh! I forgot to go by the
garden center. I'm sorry.
90
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,151
Let me ask you a question. What?
91
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,908
Am I a likable guy?
92
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:39,677
Are you gonna get my bulbs?
93
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:43,382
What would you say if I told you
that Al was more likable than me?
94
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,549
Duh?
95
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:50,522
Our ratings came out today
and for the first time in 10 years,
96
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:52,891
Al was rated more
likable than me.
97
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,737
So this is bothering you, right?
98
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:57,428
Well, duh.
99
00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:00,231
You don't think Binford would
think about switching hosts, do you?
100
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:04,703
Honey, that's never
gonna happen.
101
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,806
Look, Al hosted the show
once and it was a disaster.
102
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,075
He needs you to
make it all work.
103
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,310
Huh?
104
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:16,915
Well, see, look, you took
a shy, insecure, stiff guy
105
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:21,619
and you turned him into a
likable, confident, stiff guy.
106
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:24,567
You gave him his persona.
You invented the signature salute.
107
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:27,091
You sort of created Al.
108
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,304
I did. I created Al.
109
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:31,430
Almost like Al is my
Frankenstein monster.
110
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:34,499
You know, without the
attractive neck bolts.
111
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,568
He's alive!
112
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,049
Now, see? That's
what you should do.
113
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,518
Just enjoy the
fruits of your labor.
114
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:45,444
Yeah. You know, and maybe
accept my fate in a way.
115
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:48,291
You know, because even the
brightest stars can't shine forever.
116
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:51,795
I mean, there's a point when the
champions like me and Michael Jordan
117
00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:54,886
just have to pass our
balls on to somebody else.
118
00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:58,701
Hey, Fred.
119
00:05:58,725 --> 00:05:59,725
Hey, Mr. Taylor.
120
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:00,937
Do you have tulips?
121
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:03,628
Well, it'd be hard
to whistle if I didn't.
122
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,841
You get it? Yeah.
123
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,242
It's a gag. Yeah.
124
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,244
Hey, I've got your special
bulb order in the back.
125
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:10,908
While I'm digging them up, why
don't you say hi to your buddy Al?
126
00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,236
He's in Fertilizer.
127
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,425
Al?
128
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,552
"Hope you enjoy your bag of
129
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:19,477
"fert-Al-izer."
130
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:21,913
Hey, Al.
131
00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:23,225
Tim! Hey, ladies and gentlemen!
132
00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:25,628
Tim Taylor! All right!
133
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:26,796
Tim, what are you doing here?
134
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,565
I was just about to
ask you the same thing.
135
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:31,869
Yeah? Well, I decided to
branch out into endorsements.
136
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,095
You're endorsing fertilizer.
137
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:40,899
Yeah. I guess it's kind of like
working from the ground up.
138
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:44,049
Can I talk to you
privately for a minute?
139
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,771
Sure.
140
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,116
Mr. Likeability will be
back in a few minutes
141
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,940
to sign your bags. Okay, guys?
142
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:52,449
Meanwhile, why don't you pull your
cars around so I can load them easier?
143
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:54,045
Come out here.
144
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,381
What are you doing?
145
00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:59,428
I'm capitalizing on my
newfound popularity.
146
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:01,864
Is this why you've been leaving
work early for the last couple of days?
147
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:04,689
Well, actually, on Tuesday
I opened a lamp store.
148
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,559
And on Wednesday I was
keynote speaker at Spacklefest '98!
149
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,564
If you want to capitalize
on your newfound popularity,
150
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:17,969
you might want to aim your sights
a little higher than spackle and dung.
151
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,171
Well, I don't want to
impose on our friendship.
152
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,441
But if you could give me some career
advice, you know, coach me a little,
153
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:26,310
maybe I could get some
better endorsements.
154
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,180
Well, I hate to see
you signing this crap.
155
00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:33,384
Hi. Hi. What are you doing?
156
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,320
Mapping out Al's destiny.
157
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:39,291
And yet you couldn't
put the dishes in the sink.
158
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,671
Listen to this. I got him the
cover of Handyman Monthly.
159
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,973
On Saturday, he's doing a radio
commercial for Welder's Warehouse,
160
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:47,566
and Sunday, a pre-shoot for a
commercial for Faucets-N-Stuff.
161
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,245
You know, I'm really
impressed with the way
162
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,480
you've been able to put
your ego aside and help Al.
163
00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:54,439
Honey, he was knee-deep
swimming in cow pies.
164
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,643
And you dove in and saved him.
165
00:07:58,711 --> 00:07:59,977
I like this stuff.
166
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:02,057
Now, Al's strengths
are his sincerity
167
00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,182
and his groundbreaking dullness.
168
00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:09,587
I can manipulate that kind of
talent a 100 ways from Sunday.
169
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:11,890
And yet...
170
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,107
Come on, come on, come on. If you
want to go to the mall, I'm leaving now.
171
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:19,976
Hey, listen, Erica, I got to go.
172
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,434
But I just want to let you
know that I'm here for you
173
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:27,505
and that I sympathize
with your needs.
174
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:32,476
Oh, really? Hey, great.
All right. See you then. Bye.
175
00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:35,846
Guess what? Erica's coming
over to cry on my shoulder.
176
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,548
What's the matter with Erica?
177
00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:38,995
Oh, her boyfriend
broke up with her.
178
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,729
And I'm helping her
through her anguish.
179
00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:43,021
What do you know about anguish?
180
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,764
I live with you and Dad.
181
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,195
Finally back.
182
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:54,477
Hi. So, what are you
and Al gonna do today?
183
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:57,769
Oh. First we have a
strategy meeting here.
184
00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,582
Then this afternoon
we're off to Zug Island.
185
00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:02,373
The Port Authority is gonna
have him christen his own ship.
186
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:04,186
How did you come up with that?
187
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:08,045
It's amazing. He's got a big appeal
among dock workers ages 19 to 47.
188
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:12,923
I wonder who they latch
onto when they turn 48?
189
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:15,086
Andy Rooney.
190
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:17,456
Knock-knock! Hi!
191
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:18,823
Hi, Al.
192
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,269
Honey, I'll see
you guys later. Bye.
193
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:21,838
Bye. See you later.
194
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:23,706
Okay, Al. I have your
sailor suit all pressed.
195
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,329
Are you excited, or what?
196
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,543
Well, there's something else
I'm even more excited about.
197
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,867
Come on.
198
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:31,013
I've added a new
member to our team.
199
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:33,437
I've hired a manager. A what?
200
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,784
Now, now, come on!
You're a great coach.
201
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:38,977
Now I've brought someone
in to run the ball club. All right!
202
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:41,858
Well, Al, we don't need a manager.
I lined up a great gig for you today.
203
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,181
You're christening a ship.
204
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,083
It's a trash barge.
205
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,451
It's a slag barge.
206
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,398
It's a Cadillac of
waste products.
207
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,223
Well, let's see what my manager
has to say about that, you know?
208
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:55,060
He's coming over. I invited
him to our strategy session.
209
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:56,172
He's coming here? Yeah.
210
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:57,829
Yeah, his name is Roy Becker.
211
00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:00,364
You're gonna love him.
He's smart. He's savvy.
212
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,266
He's got a great sense of humor.
213
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:03,946
What are Roy
Becker's credentials?
214
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:07,338
Well, he's president of
Roy Becker and Associates.
215
00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:11,854
Wait a minute, wait a
minute. I know that name.
216
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:14,857
Didn't he use to manage that
other cable guy, Fishin' with Freddie?
217
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:17,982
Might have. He
handles a lot of big stars.
218
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,617
(DOORBELL RINGS)
219
00:10:19,686 --> 00:10:23,087
There he is. Coming! Coming!
220
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,323
Hey, superstar! What's
happening, baby?
221
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,668
Hey! There he is. Tim Taylor.
222
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:28,037
How are you, my man?
223
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,405
Hey. Roy Becker.
Nice to meet you.
224
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,607
Hey, Roy. Hey, nice
pad you got here.
225
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,908
You know, I used
to live around here
226
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:35,066
then I, uh, made
something of myself.
227
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,201
I'm just kidding.
228
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,437
He's got a great sense of humor.
229
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,405
I can't wait to see it.
230
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,086
Hey, you want some coffee?
231
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:47,356
Coffee? No. No coffee
for me. It makes me hyper.
232
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:50,125
I'm here for one thing and
I'm here for one thing only.
233
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:53,117
And that's to
take Al to the top.
234
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,130
This is the greatest
day of my life!
235
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,321
I got my manager.
I got my coach.
236
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:58,467
Yeah! Look out, world!
237
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,491
Here comes Team Borland!
238
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:04,128
Can't wait for that
team physical, huh?
239
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,035
Okay, fellas. Now,
let's talk game plan.
240
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,870
As I understand it,
241
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,817
Taylor's got you peddling
faucets and metal garbage.
242
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,619
Which is fine.
Don't get me wrong.
243
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:19,377
But now it's time to move
up to the major leagues.
244
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:20,845
Major leagues?
245
00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:24,349
National commercials.
I'm talking an M.O.W.
246
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,951
M.O.W.? A mow?
What will I be mowing?
247
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:30,421
M.O.W. is a Movie of the Week.
248
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:31,700
I'm gonna be in the movies?
249
00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:33,757
Al, you're a big hit
with women, baby.
250
00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:35,759
I can get you on
the Lifetime Channel
251
00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:37,868
playing opposite
Morgan Fairchild.
252
00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:40,265
Morgan Fairchild? I love her!
253
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,445
Wait, wait. Reality check.
Come on! ROY: What?
254
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,447
This is a pitch man.
He's not an actor.
255
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,271
Actor-shmactor!
256
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,579
He'll act happy when he
sees the money rolling in, huh?
257
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,775
Oh, boy!
258
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:52,621
What are you leading
him on for here, Roy?
259
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:54,656
I'm not leading him
on. Hey, look, Taylor.
260
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,581
If he doesn't make
money, I don't make money.
261
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:59,383
And if I don't make money, I'm
back living in this neighborhood.
262
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,018
I did it again!
263
00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:04,500
Why are you being
such a doubting Thomas?
264
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,402
You know, the big
time is beckoning!
265
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:09,471
So are 150 slag workers who
want to see you in a sailor suit.
266
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,162
Yeah? Well, they're out of luck.
267
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,842
Let me tell you right now, Al, I
don't want this going to your head,
268
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,744
but garbage is beneath
you. You think so?
269
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,400
I know so! Blow them off!
270
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,247
I tell you what. You
come have lunch with me.
271
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,182
I got a big commercial director
I want to introduce you to.
272
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:21,884
Come on. Come on. I'm telling
you, you can make some money here.
273
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,319
Wait, wait, wait. We made
a promise to Local 299.
274
00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:26,622
And the Local doesn't like it
when you break their promises.
275
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:29,225
You know what? You want to dress
up like Popeye for the rest of your life?
276
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,126
Or do you want to make some
money? Come on. Let's go.
277
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,684
I don't know what to
do. I'm so conflicted!
278
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:34,896
Look, I'll make it easy for you.
279
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,232
You go with Roy
or you go with me.
280
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,723
And I think you know what
the responsible thing to do is.
281
00:12:39,792 --> 00:12:42,493
Obviously, you're gonna
have to fill in for me.
282
00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:44,795
And thank you! You
were a great coach.
283
00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:47,498
Thanks, Taylor. You're a
good man. Beautiful house.
284
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:55,817
And then he said, "Well, why
didn't you tell me that before?"
285
00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:58,187
And I said, "Well, I
thought that it was obvious."
286
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:00,856
And he said, "Well, it
wasn't obvious to me."
287
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,080
Isn't it obvious to you?
288
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,215
Huh?
289
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,186
I asked if it was
obvious to you.
290
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,221
It doesn't matter what I think.
291
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,857
Just keep sharing your
feelings and I'll keep listening.
292
00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:17,127
Well, I'd really like to
know what you think.
293
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:19,263
Well, I hurt when you hurt.
294
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,100
What are you talking about?
295
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:24,768
I'm not hurting.
296
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,571
Well, then I'm not either.
297
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:31,609
Mark, I want you to tell me
one thing that I just talked about.
298
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,845
You used the word "Obvious."
299
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,522
That's what I thought.
300
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,861
You know, you're even
worse than my boyfriend.
301
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:41,953
At least he's honest
about not listening to me.
302
00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:47,292
I sympathize with your needs!
303
00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:56,967
Well, Brad, thanks to
you, Erica hates me.
304
00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:59,671
What? Your stupid
advice backfired.
305
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:03,308
I should never have pretended
to care about her feelings.
306
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:05,610
So, you taught him that?
307
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,545
Look, I'm sorry, Mom.
308
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:10,426
I know you're disappointed.
But if it makes you feel any better,
309
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,316
I hurt when you hurt.
310
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,555
That's it. I'm canceling
your subscription to Sassy.
311
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,991
(JILL LAUGHING)
312
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:33,938
So, Captain, where's Tennille?
313
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,844
Like I haven't heard that
from 6,500 longshoremen?
314
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:44,260
Well, I thought Al was
supposed to do the entertaining.
315
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:45,995
He was until he backed out
316
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:48,397
on the advice of his new
manager, Roy Becker.
317
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,589
Roy Becker. I know that name.
318
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:54,825
Didn't he use to live in this
neighborhood before he made it big?
319
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:57,873
All the work I did for Al,
320
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,631
he just forgets about
me and picks another guy.
321
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,700
That is terrible. It
doesn't sound like Al.
322
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,101
(PHONE RINGING)
323
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,473
Ahoy. Promenade deck.
324
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,679
Oh, hi, Al. You need a day off?
325
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,316
Well, why... Get out of town!
326
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,619
All right. Well, tell...
327
00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:24,922
Okay. All right. Thanks. Bye.
328
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:27,658
What was that about?
329
00:15:27,726 --> 00:15:29,805
They're shooting a Movie
of the Week here in town.
330
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:31,640
He's got a bit part
with Morgan Fairchild.
331
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:32,930
Ah!
332
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:34,365
I love her!
333
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,982
You can start as early
as you want, Wilson.
334
00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:42,907
But I'm still gonna kick butt in
that Christmas lighting contest.
335
00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:45,376
No. This is not
for Christmas, Tim.
336
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,222
Are you familiar
with who inspired
337
00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:50,315
the Indian festival
of Deepawali?
338
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:54,485
I'm still wondering who put the
bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop.
339
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,432
Well, probably the same
person who put the ram
340
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:59,223
in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong.
341
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,759
You want to know who put
Al in a Movie of the Week
342
00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:03,728
with Morgan Fairchild?
343
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,197
Morgan Fairchild? I love her!
344
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:11,569
Well, good going, Tim.
You are quite a coach.
345
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,638
Al hired a professional manager.
346
00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:15,005
Well, good for Al.
347
00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:16,173
He fired me.
348
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:17,575
Bad for you.
349
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,811
Don't feel bad for
me, I feel bad for Al.
350
00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:21,724
The overnight sensation
who's appearing in a movie
351
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:23,514
with Morgan Fairchild?
352
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:26,584
I'm not jealous or anything. I
just think he's moving too fast.
353
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,019
It's like Frankenstein
loose on the world
354
00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:32,223
without his doctor by
his side, you know?
355
00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:33,558
What was the doctor's name?
356
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:34,959
Frankenstein.
357
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:39,831
They were related?
358
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,977
You know, Tim, I can
understand your concern for Al.
359
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:46,203
But I'm also reminded of the
Persian writer Nasir-i Khusraw.
360
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:51,075
He said, "Though God creates
the mother, the breast and the milk,
361
00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:54,879
"the children must draw for
themselves their mother's milk."
362
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,853
Wilson, you just gave
me 12 horrible images.
363
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:07,224
No, no, no, no. I'm just saying,
just as the child learns self-reliance
364
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:08,671
by separating from his mother,
365
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:11,996
so the assistant learns by
separating from the Tool Man.
366
00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:16,401
Maybe what Al needs is protection
and support so he's not left hanging.
367
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:19,203
So I'll just buy him
a sturdy jockstrap.
368
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,673
Hello, horrible image number 13.
369
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:28,646
Scene 223 Baker. Take 15.
370
00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:31,415
DIRECTOR: And action!
371
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,785
You're leaving me for my sister?
372
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,054
Which one?
373
00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:39,090
The one carrying my baby.
374
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:44,328
Get out! Get out
and never come back!
375
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,040
(MORGAN FAIRCHILD CRYING)
376
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:02,312
Great news. I've snaked the
toilet and you're good to go.
377
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,019
Thank you, Gerard.
378
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:14,025
Now, what have you
got for a broken heart?
379
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:18,095
Hey, Maggie! What's the
matter? You can tell Gerard.
380
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:19,430
Oh, I'm sorry. I...
381
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:20,565
Cut!
382
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:22,934
The woman is
emotionally devastated
383
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:27,905
and you come bouncing in and salute
her like Gomer Pyle on a sugar high?
384
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:30,054
(IMITATING GOMER
PYLE) Well, golly!
385
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:32,476
What are you doing here?
386
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,857
Just here to support
Borland. How's he doing?
387
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:39,083
I had more fun at my
last prostate examination.
388
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:42,386
Uh, why don't you let me
work with him for just a second?
389
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,856
Thanks. Thanks.
390
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:50,060
Al, you know, I am really
enjoying playing opposite you.
391
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,896
Oh, wow! Thank
you, Morgan Fairchild!
392
00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:55,978
No. Please just call me Morgan.
393
00:18:56,002 --> 00:19:02,640
You know, Al, you have this
reality that I just find so exciting.
394
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:07,178
And if you could
tap into that reality,
395
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:12,416
I could respond
very passionately.
396
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:15,419
Do you understand?
397
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:23,094
All right, everybody,
let's go again.
398
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,828
We'll take it from
Gerard's entrance.
399
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,098
Action!
400
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:34,772
Great news. I've snaked the
toilet and you're good to go.
401
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,810
Thank you, Gerard.
402
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:44,148
Now, what have you
got for a broken heart?
403
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:48,085
Oh, Morgan... Cut!
404
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:51,389
Get me a new Gerard.
405
00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:52,690
Borland, you're fired.
406
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,725
Hey, get me
Freddie, the fish guy.
407
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,004
Wait a minute.
408
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,173
You're replacing Al with
a guy that bobs for bass?
409
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,608
Let me see if I can
get him on the phone.
410
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:01,510
You can't do this.
He put his trust in you.
411
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,067
You know, Taylor, it's
times like this I hate myself.
412
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:07,605
But then I buy myself a
new suit and I feel terrific.
413
00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:09,485
By the way, who
represents you? Well, I...
414
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:12,810
Hey, Frederico! Hey! How's
the fish biting? Hey, baby, yeah!
415
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,379
Hey, Al. Hey.
416
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:16,825
Oh. When did you get here?
417
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,259
I got here in time to
see your last two takes.
418
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:19,328
They're good. It's good stuff.
419
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,430
Time to see me get fired.
420
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:22,964
Well, that's okay. I mean,
the last take was good.
421
00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,833
The way you committed to
the salute, kind of half-salute.
422
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:27,035
It was kind of funny stuff. I
mean, you were going with it.
423
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:30,660
No, maybe you're right.
Maybe I'm just not an actor.
424
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,363
Maybe not now. You
take a few classes.
425
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:36,900
The next thing you know, you'll
be back in Morgan Fairchild's arms.
426
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:41,238
I just... I guess I tried
to fly too high too fast.
427
00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:43,440
Gravity is a cruel mistress.
428
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,511
Your mom probably
taught you that.
429
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:54,018
I should've been happy with the career
path we were working on, you know?
430
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,765
There's no shame in
making longshoremen happy.
431
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,755
At least not in this state.
432
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:02,126
You know, it doesn't matter
that I work with Morgan Fairchild.
433
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,106
You know, the
important thing is that
434
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:06,630
I have a good friend
like you. You know?
435
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:09,077
Because when push comes to
shove, you know, you're there.
436
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,279
Well... Al.
437
00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:12,803
Yes, Morgan Fairchild?
438
00:21:12,871 --> 00:21:15,017
I am so sorry about this. Um...
439
00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:17,241
May I have your autograph?
440
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:21,478
You... You want my autograph?
441
00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:23,425
Well, actually, it's not
for me. It's for my dad.
442
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,816
He's a huge fan of Tool Time.
443
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:28,919
Well, he probably wants mine,
too. Hi. I'm Tim the Tool Man.
444
00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:31,355
Hi. No, he didn't mention you.
445
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:34,458
Thanks.
446
00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:37,794
I, on the other hand, am a
huge fan of yours, honey.
447
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,703
Morgan Fairchild. I love her!
448
00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:52,521
Hey, Cleotis!
449
00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:53,778
Hey, Mr. Taylor!
450
00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:01,263
I've branched out
into endorsements.
451
00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:05,889
You're endorsing dung.
That's dung. That's not dung.
452
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:08,403
You know, Tim, I can
understand your concerns about Al.
453
00:22:08,427 --> 00:22:13,964
But I'm also reminded of the
Persian writer, Kooty-koogy-googy.
454
00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:16,033
Koogy-googy-oogy.
What is his name?
454
00:22:17,305 --> 00:23:17,820
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