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Welcome to Remodeling
Week here on Tool Time.
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00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:10,809
Now, here's the star of the
show, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!
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00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:14,213
Thank you, Heidi.
Thank you, everybody.
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Welcome to Tool Time.
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I am Tim "The Grateful
Tool Man" Taylor,
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and, of course, you
all know my assistant.
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(AUDIENCE CHEERING WILDLY)
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Okay, I'm a perch, I'll bite.
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Well, Tim, it's Remodeling Week.
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I know that.
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Well, I've worn this shirt
before, so now I'm re-modeling it.
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Uh, all right. Well,
over the years,
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we've shown you a lot of different
ways to upgrade your home.
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But when the job is big enough,
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it's time to ask
for the expertise
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of a licensed, bonded,
professional contractor.
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But finding a good
contractor can be,
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well, as difficult as
finding a date to the prom.
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Yes, it can, Al.
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But this time, your
mom won't bail you out.
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"Al, I can't fit in a limousine.
Better use a backhoe."
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As I was saying, choosing a good
contractor can be a daunting task.
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You gotta ask
the right questions.
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Are you licensed?
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Do you have a completion clause?
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Are you using a porta-potty,
or just using my front lawn?
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So, without further ado, let's
play The Contracting Game.
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Whoo! Let's meet
our contestants!
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All right!
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Contractor number one is
an ex-Navy man from Saginaw
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who enjoys appraisals, electrical
work and long walks on the beach.
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Bill, say hello to Tim.
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Hi, Tim. Hey, Bill.
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Contractor number two calls
himself a trustworthy Taurus
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who wrote the primmer on primer.
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Wally, say hello to Tim.
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Hi, Tim. Wally.
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And contractor
number three says he's
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great at grouting,
enjoys fine dining
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and will paint any surface
at the drop of a cloth.
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Ed, say hello to Tim.
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Hi, Tim.
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Tim, Tool Time is by
far my favorite show.
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I like him already.
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All right. Well, we've established
that these men are qualified.
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So let's see how they stand up to
the tough questions from The Tool Man.
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Thank you, Al. All right,
contractor number three,
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you say my kitchen work can
be done in, uh, what? Six weeks?
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That's contractor time.
What is that in real time?
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Sixteen weeks
and not a day more.
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There's something
to be said for honesty.
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Okay, 18 weeks.
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Contractor number two, I
want to put in a new bathroom.
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Tile, sink, maybe a Jacuzzi.
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For 10 grand, can it be done?
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Well, actually, that
seems a little low.
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Hey, Tim. It's Ed,
contractor number three.
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I can do it for nine-five.
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All right, contractor
number one,
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putting a parquet floor
in my, uh, dining room.
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You get a call
from the hospital.
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It's your wife.
She's having a baby.
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Do you finish the floor
or race to the hospital?
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Well, Tim, my wife and I have been
trying to have a baby for three years.
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I've been trying to have
a parquet floor for 10.
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Well, I mean, if you really needed
the work done, uh, I guess I'd do it.
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Look at it this way, the floor will
probably last longer than the marriage.
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Yeah. Especially now,
since my wife is watching.
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So the moment of truth has come.
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Are you going with
contractor number one,
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contractor number two, or
contractor number three?
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Hey, Tim, it's Ed again.
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I would leave my family
to do your parquet floor.
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And yet I'm gonna go
with contractor number one!
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Yeah!
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Congratulations.
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All right. Okay.
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Congratulations, Bill.
Thank you. Thank you.
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Now, when do I start the job?
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Job?
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We're just playing a
game here. There's no job.
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I took a whole
day off for nothing?
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I assumed there was a job.
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Well, you know what
happens when you assume.
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Well, what happens is Heidi's
gonna tell you what you won.
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Uh...
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You won this key ring
with a handy can opener.
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There you go. There you go.
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Yeah. That's gonna
come in real handy
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'cause I'm about to open up a
can of whoop-ass on the Tool Man.
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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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Jill, the girls' birthday cake
is great. What's your secret?
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Gretchen's Bakery. It's that place
with the flashing neon lederhosen.
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You know, I always thought Gretchen
was selling something else there.
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Hey, girls, come on.
Let's keep this party rolling.
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I gotta get to work.
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Hey, Uncle Marty, my dad says
you have a job in canine nutrition.
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I stack kibble at a
dog-food warehouse.
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Okay, girls. What do you
say? Is it time to open presents?
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Oh, yeah! Yeah!
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Yes? All right. Come on,
give me a hand, will you?
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Okay. Now, wait...
Keep your eyes closed.
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No looking. No looking. Wait.
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Come on, Aunt Jill, please!
Oh, come on, please!
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No, no, no. MARTY: Okay!
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And happy birthday!
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A new bike! Just what I wanted!
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Thanks, Dad!
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Now you can ride
around the neighborhood
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mowing down three-year-olds.
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Thanks, Tim.
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This is from Brad and me.
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Legos! All right!
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And let me see. These
are from Uncle Tim and me.
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That's for you
and this is for you.
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The Spice Girls!
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Wow! I got Posh Spice!
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I got Sporty Spice.
I want Posh Spice.
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But you love Sporty Spice.
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You were Sporty
Spice for Halloween.
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I want Posh Spice.
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But they gave me Posh Spice.
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Upstairs, I got some Old Spice.
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Listen, Gracie, why don't you
just trade dolls with Claire, okay?
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Do I have to?
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Well, that's not really fair.
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I mean, we sort of did
give that doll to Gracie.
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Yeah. If it'll make
her sister happy,
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I mean, does it really
make a difference?
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Come on, honey.
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Okay.
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That's a girl. I love
you guys. Come here.
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Hey, now, listen,
I gotta go, okay?
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I'm really sorry I gotta go
to work on your birthday,
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but I'll come on back later and
we'll have a good time, okay?
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Okay. Bye. See you.
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TIM: See you later,
Marty. JILL: Bye-bye.
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Aunt Jill, can we go play
with our dolls upstairs?
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Of course you can. Go on.
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Hey, guys, guys, will you put
these Legos together for the girls
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and take them up to them?
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Mom, we're building a fort.
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Excuse me, uh, 17?
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I'm only 14. I'm
hanging onto my youth.
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It's time to let go.
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Can you believe what
Marty just did? No.
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Buying these bikes
off the rack like this?
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These gear ratios and tires...
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You'll never get any
speed out of these puppies.
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I'm not talking about the bikes.
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I'm talking about the way
he's dealing with the girls.
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He's just trying to
make her happy.
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Yeah. At her sister's expense.
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He's not doing Claire any
favors by giving in to her.
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He's letting her
just take control.
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This is none of our
business. Yes, it is.
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No, it's not. We don't know
anything about raising two girls.
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Excuse me, someone in
this room was a girl once.
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That was years ago
before the operation.
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You promised you
wouldn't bring that up again!
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Whether they're boys or
girls, it's beside the point.
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No, it's not beside the point.
Yeah, but they're living in our house.
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Children need boundaries,
and Marty's not setting any.
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He lets them stay up as
long as they want every night.
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Jill...
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He's not setting any limits on
what kind of television they watch.
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He's doing the best job he can.
He's going through a separation.
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For God's sake, the guy can't
be with his girls on his birthday.
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He's counting Snausages.
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I know. I feel so sorry for him.
It's awful for him, awful for them.
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But at least they get to
spend the day with us.
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Well, actually, they're gonna
be spending the day with you.
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I gotta go counsel
some patients.
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Are you gonna be okay with that?
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Oh, yeah. Yeah? Okay.
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We'll have a good time.
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Hey, girls, break open
those piggy banks!
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00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:03,174
We're going to the
casinos over in Windsor!
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00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,981
Uncle Tim, are
the bikes done yet?
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00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,750
Well, Claire, for me,
"done" is a relative term.
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I've been done for
an hour and a half.
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When you're done, can I
take it outside and ride it?
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00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,490
No, honey. It's way too
slippery out there today.
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00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,059
But it's my birthday.
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00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,272
I know it's your birthday,
but it's just unsafe.
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00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,628
Please, Uncle Tim?
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00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:25,997
Not today 'cause it's your...
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00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,432
Please?
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00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:29,700
Please?
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00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:32,937
(BELL RINGING)
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00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,419
Claire? What are you doing?
192
00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:39,043
Hi, Aunt Jill.
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00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,657
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who told you
that you could ride your bike in here?
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00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:42,980
Here I come.
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00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:46,350
JILL: Tim. Hi, honey.
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00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,398
Hop on the handlebars. I'll
take you around the coffee table.
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00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,702
I got a better idea. Why don't we
just flood the basement and swim laps?
198
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:55,360
I like it. Come here.
199
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,239
It's their birthday. It's
their birthday. Come here.
200
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,607
Come on. We never let our boys
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00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:00,999
ride bikes in the house,
birthday or no birthday.
202
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:03,079
Their parents are going
through a separation.
203
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,446
Even more reason
for them to have rules.
204
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:07,371
They need a grownup
to be in charge.
205
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,090
They're away from their
mom for their birthday.
206
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,348
Their dad is tasting
liver treats for a living.
207
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,695
She sweet-talked
you, didn't she?
208
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:19,929
She did that thing
where she goes,
209
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,986
"Please, Uncle Tim?"
210
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:25,857
Actually, she went,
"Uncle Tim, please!"
211
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:29,360
Girls, I'm sorry, but we can't
ride bikes inside the house.
212
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:30,940
Okay. Okay.
213
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:34,365
But Uncle Tim said he'd
show me how to pop a wheelie.
214
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:35,845
No, no, no, no. You
misunderstood me.
215
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:39,189
What I said was, "Later on,
we'll put the top on the Healey."
216
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,807
I want to ride my bike.
Please, Uncle Tim?
217
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,887
Oh, come on. One wheelie.
218
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:47,712
We said no to our
boys hundreds of times.
219
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,258
And look what happened to them.
220
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,415
I don't care what you
say. I'm riding my bike.
221
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,295
No, no, no. We're not gonna
ride in the house anymore.
222
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,496
Aunt Jill doesn't
think it's a good idea.
223
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,265
I want to ride my
bike! Claire, no!
224
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,867
You cannot ride the bike in
the house! No! I'm riding my bike!
225
00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:59,301
Claire, stop yelling. No!
226
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,403
Hey, I'm home. Where
are the birthday girls?
227
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:02,667
Daddy! Daddy!
228
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:05,241
Claire, honey. What's
wrong? Come here.
229
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,631
Aunt Jill's being mean to me.
230
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:11,569
Oh, sweetie, it's
okay. What's going on?
231
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:14,372
She wanted to ride her bike
around the house and, uh...
232
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:16,741
And Jill didn't think
it was a good idea.
233
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,757
You couldn't cut her
any slack on her birthday?
234
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:23,258
Come on, honey. I'll
take you out for ice cream.
235
00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:25,361
Go get your coat
and your sister, okay?
236
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,151
Come on, Gracie!
237
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,187
Marty, you're setting
up a behavioral pattern
238
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:32,523
where you give in to her
every time she acts out.
239
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,036
Oh, spare me the psychobabble.
240
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,437
I know how to handle my kids.
241
00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:36,572
If you knew how
to handle your kids,
242
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,363
they'd know how to
behave in our home.
243
00:11:38,432 --> 00:11:41,032
You know, ice cream is starting
to sound real good right now.
244
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,568
Look, Claire and Gracie
need the security of knowing
245
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,503
that there is a
grownup in control.
246
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,450
That's okay. Just don't
tell me how to raise my kids.
247
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:48,873
How about rocky road?
248
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:50,653
Or maybe we just shouldn't stay
here. Is that what you're saying?
249
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:51,754
Oh, that would be great, Marty.
250
00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:53,578
Take the easy way
out. Run away again.
251
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,390
Well, it's pretty obvious that
you don't want us living here.
252
00:11:55,414 --> 00:11:56,959
Oh, no, no. You're not
gonna pull that on me!
253
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,449
I love having you guys here!
254
00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,451
And we love being here!
255
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:04,455
And I can feel the love.
256
00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:11,896
Unbelievable.
257
00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:13,909
I don't want them riding bikes in
the house and I'm the bad guy?
258
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,653
Thanks for bailing on me, Tim.
259
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:18,702
I wasn't bailing on you. I
was acting like a peacekeeper.
260
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:21,117
They should have your kind of
peacekeeping in the Middle East.
261
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:25,009
Shooting starts, you send
out for Chunky Monkey.
262
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,558
They were riding
bikes in the house.
263
00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:28,880
They weren't invading
occupied territory.
264
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:30,960
Look, I agreed to help
you with your brother.
265
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,649
You gotta help me here.
266
00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:34,463
Even if I don't believe
what you're doing is right.
267
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:35,631
You know what
I'm doing is right.
268
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:36,765
No, I don't know that
what you're doing...
269
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:38,300
You just don't
want to take sides.
270
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:41,125
That's what makes me
a great peacekeeper.
271
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:43,172
No, that makes you wishy-washy.
272
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,007
I think maybe you
better back off a little bit.
273
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:47,610
Okay, okay. I'll back off if I
know that I've got your support
274
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,378
if things get, you know,
completely out of control.
275
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:52,336
If things get completely out of
control, you have my support 110%.
276
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:55,406
How do you define
"completely out of control"?
277
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,110
I can't define it.
278
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,299
I'll know it when I
have to clean it up.
279
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,528
(SIGHS)
280
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:07,952
Look. There's a gross,
gooey prize in the box.
281
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,654
I want the prize!
282
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,134
Honey, it's gonna be
a lot deeper than that.
283
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:14,392
They always put the
prize at the bottom.
284
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,560
Whoa, whoa, I was
gonna eat that cereal.
285
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:17,840
Take your arm out
of the cereal, please.
286
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:19,631
But I want the prize.
287
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:20,809
Come on, Tim. It's
not that big a deal.
288
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:22,267
It's a big deal to me.
289
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,179
Claire, please take your
arm out of the cereal.
290
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:27,305
Okay, fine. Claire, get your
hand out of the box. Let's go.
291
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,818
Oh, come on, Marty. Claire!
292
00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:31,442
Claire! What...
293
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:32,988
I want her to clean
this up right now.
294
00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:34,545
Oh, come on.
295
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:37,393
This wouldn't have happened if
you'd just let her have the stupid prize.
296
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,294
This is my fault?
Claire, clean this up.
297
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:40,763
I just... I don't have
time to deal with this.
298
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:43,187
Sorry. I gotta go to work.
They gotta go to school.
299
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:44,934
Kids, get your things. Let's go.
300
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:46,869
Why don't you just leave it
here on the table then, huh?
301
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:49,526
I'll pour some milk on
it and I'll suck it off later.
302
00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:52,163
Bye, girls.
303
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,304
So, Mr. Peacekeeper,
304
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:03,975
does this qualify as
completely out of control?
305
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,325
Not if I get you to clean it up.
306
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,326
Excuse me, I'm
looking for Marty Taylor.
307
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,795
He's stacking kibble somewhere.
308
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,919
He's been promoted to
squeakies and chew toys
309
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:18,823
instead of me, who's been here
15 years, but hey, I'm not bitter.
310
00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:25,207
Oh, no. Look, I don't
have time to talk, okay?
311
00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:26,576
I'm way behind in my work.
312
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,566
Do you have time to
talk if I give you a hand?
313
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:31,335
Like you can learn
this job in one day.
314
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:38,028
(SQUEAKS) Squeeze
the toy, see if it works.
315
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:40,377
(SQUEAKS)
316
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:42,592
Look, I know your kids are having
a tough time with the separation,
317
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:44,560
but you're letting them get
away with murder, Marty.
318
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:45,695
Hey, you're the
one that told them
319
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,362
they could ride their
bikes around the house!
320
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,264
That's because Claire
pouted. I gave in.
321
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:51,789
But you give in every
time she snaps her fingers.
322
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:54,070
Oh, give me a break. The
separation's really hard on them.
323
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:57,306
I know. I know. I know. I
happen to want my kids to like me.
324
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,430
You're their father,
not their friend.
325
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,465
You can't let them
manipulate you like this.
326
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:02,534
(SQUEAKS)
327
00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:06,082
Well, excuse me,
but I happen to think
328
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:09,426
(SQUEAKS) that you're the
one who's being manipulated.
329
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,088
What's that supposed to mean?
330
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:13,377
Oh, come on.
331
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,424
Your wife sent you down
here to bite my head off
332
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:19,250
(SQUEAKING) about something
that you don't even believe.
333
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:20,685
If you think for one minute
334
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,164
I came down here 'cause
of Jill, you're dead wrong.
335
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:24,722
I'm my own man. I
do my own bidding.
336
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,526
MAN: Hey!
337
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,107
Yeah? Well, I'm my own man
338
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:34,532
(SQUEAKS) and I don't happen
to agree with what your wife
339
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,478
sent you down here to tell me.
340
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:39,336
If you weren't such a thickhead,
you'd realize she made a good point.
341
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:42,606
(SQUEAKS) You know what
else? This is a really annoying job.
342
00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:45,810
(SQUEAKING)
343
00:15:45,879 --> 00:15:47,645
It wasn't nearly so annoying
344
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,425
before you came down here and
started breathing down my neck.
345
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:51,816
Maybe it's time I left, huh?
346
00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:53,417
(SQUEAKING)
347
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:54,919
Oh, now you're doing it?
348
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:57,989
Who's a guy gotta sleep with
around here to squeak toys?
349
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:01,727
(SQUEAKS)
350
00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:07,531
Well, hi ho, neighbor.
351
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,334
Hidey ho back at you.
352
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,770
You getting ready to
knock off a liquor store?
353
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:14,605
(CHUCKLING)
354
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:17,408
No, Tim. I'm experimenting
with thermal headgear
355
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,577
for my heli-skiing trip.
356
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,326
Well, I'd rather go
skiing in hell with you
357
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,295
than stay in this
house with my brother.
358
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:29,198
Oh, I didn't think it was Marty
who was doing all the screaming.
359
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,755
No, it was Claire.
360
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,990
That girl screams
louder than Al's mom
361
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:35,860
when you try to take
away her pudding.
362
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:38,997
Well, have you and Jill tried
to deal with the situation?
363
00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:41,899
Of course I tried to talk to
him. It doesn't do any good.
364
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,301
Well, what'd you say to him?
365
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:45,603
I told him everything
he was doing was wrong.
366
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,740
Oh, golly! And Marty
wasn't responsive to that?
367
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:51,586
It's impossible to talk to him.
368
00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:53,755
You know, I want to help him,
but I'm running out of speeches.
369
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:56,558
Well, you know, Tim, as someone
whose first impulse is to speechify,
370
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:59,962
I can promise you that
isn't always the best solution.
371
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:02,987
I know how to get his
attention, an atomic wedgie.
372
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,436
Well, you could
also try it my way.
373
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,780
You know, sometimes, Tim,
instead of sharing my wisdom,
374
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:13,264
I try to give people the
benefit of my experience.
375
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,000
What experience of mine
would be helpful to Marty?
376
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:19,170
Tim, you have helped
raise three terrific kids.
377
00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:22,774
What good would it be to tell
Marty how I raised my kids?
378
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:26,944
Well, don't tell him how you
did it, just find a way to show him.
379
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:28,691
I can't even imagine
what he's going through,
380
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,247
doing all this parenting alone.
381
00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:33,417
I mean, without Jill, I
couldn't have had the kids.
382
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,123
I want a cookie!
383
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,657
Claire, no!
384
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:41,759
How's it going, Marty?
385
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:42,993
I hate you!
386
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,172
That answer your question?
387
00:17:44,196 --> 00:17:45,329
I want a cookie!
388
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,008
I told you not before dinner!
389
00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:48,143
Now, you're in time-out!
390
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:49,207
Go to your room!
391
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,001
No! I said yes!
392
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,870
No! I said yes!
393
00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:54,838
I want to be with Mommy!
394
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,909
Hey, Marty. You're doing good.
395
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:00,944
Just hang tough,
buddy. You'll be all right.
396
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:05,650
CLAIRE: (SCREAMING) I
said I wanna be with Mommy!
397
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:09,253
That's it. Time-out's
over. I'm going up there.
398
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:10,932
Hold on a second. I'll
show you what to do.
399
00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:13,201
Take the cookie. Break it in
half. Right now. Break it in half.
400
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:14,392
Put half in your mouth.
401
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:15,559
Give me the other half.
402
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,431
Now what?
403
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,511
Now we go to Legoland and
build a bait and tackle shop
404
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,413
and forget about this.
Come on, come on.
405
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,705
CLAIRE: All I want is
that dumb, old cookie!
406
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,806
(CLAIRE SCREAMING)
407
00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:30,914
She's gonna hate me
for the rest of my life.
408
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:34,044
I'll be surprised if in an hour
she still hates you, okay?
409
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,681
Now, I need a worm
cooler, all right? Start on that.
410
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:39,283
(CLAIRE SCREAMING)
411
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,985
CLAIRE: I hate it here so much!
412
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,821
What's going on?
413
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:47,491
We're building a bait and tackle
shop during an air-raid siren.
414
00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:50,828
CLAIRE: I'm holding my breath!
415
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:53,108
We're waiting out
Claire's tantrum.
416
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,265
Marty, that is so good.
417
00:18:55,335 --> 00:19:00,170
CLAIRE: This room is
stupid! This house is stupid!
418
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:05,442
Everyone here is stupid,
stupid, stupid, stupid!
419
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,380
It's a dream come true.
420
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:18,922
You know, she's been at it for
over an hour. Something's gotta blow.
421
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,169
(CLAIRE SCREAMING)
Either her lungs or my eardrums.
422
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:24,128
You just gotta tune it out. I
barely even hear her anymore.
423
00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:26,964
(CLAIRE SCREAMING)
424
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:31,569
I heard that one.
425
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:33,882
You know, I was never any
good at disciplining the kids.
426
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,474
Nancy was always the
one that had to tell them no.
427
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:38,254
You know, every time
they'd start to cry, I'd just...
428
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,077
Wait, wait, wait. Listen.
429
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,912
She stopped.
430
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:44,981
Should I go up there? No,
no, careful. It might be a trap.
431
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,886
Hi.
432
00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,466
Hi, Claire. Hi, Claire.
433
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,790
Hi, honey.
434
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,625
Dad, since I missed dinner,
435
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,194
can I please have a
peanut-butter sandwich?
436
00:19:58,631 --> 00:19:59,671
Sure.
437
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,699
Okay.
438
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:03,094
Okay.
439
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:06,181
(WHISPERING) You made it.
440
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,971
Thanks. I guess I did.
441
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:12,276
Hey, while I'm up,
can I get you anything?
442
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:14,723
Yeah. I'd love a cup
of tea. That'd be great.
443
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:17,627
I could go for a peanut-butter
sandwich myself.
444
00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:21,151
Please!
445
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,188
Please!
446
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,396
It's all finished.
447
00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:35,176
It's the first bait
and tackle shop
448
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,712
with its built-in
lingerie department.
449
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:37,968
Huh.
450
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:40,403
And a little Tyra
Banks out of Lego.
451
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:45,176
Gosh, it's so quiet.
452
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,945
I'm really proud of Marty
for getting through this.
453
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,925
We're just lucky our boys
are through that phase.
454
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:51,983
(DOOR BANGS)
455
00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:53,695
You know, I hate living in this
house. I mean, thanks to you guys,
456
00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:55,998
I'm cramped in a stupid little
basement with my geeky brother,
457
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:58,289
I've got no privacy,
I've got no ventilation
458
00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,868
and last night, in the
middle of his sleep,
459
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:02,559
Mark starts singing
a Puff Daddy medley!
460
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:03,995
You know, this is crazy!
461
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:07,531
This is insane! I hate
living in this house! Gosh!
462
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,870
Well, at least
he's potty-trained.
463
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:22,346
Yeah? Well, I'm my own wife
and I don't happen to think that...
464
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,695
Oh, yeah. Now. Yeah.
465
00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:40,698
Saying the written line.
466
00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:43,434
Oh, that one. Yes.
467
00:21:43,502 --> 00:21:46,448
Yeah. Well, I'm my own man and I
don't happen to agree with what your wife
468
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:47,638
(SQUEAKS)
469
00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:50,107
sent you down here to say to me.
470
00:21:50,175 --> 00:21:52,142
(SQUEAKS)
471
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,379
(SQUEAKS) If you weren't so...
472
00:21:56,815 --> 00:21:58,081
If you weren't so thickheaded,
473
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,351
you would've... You would've...
473
00:22:01,305 --> 00:23:01,422
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