1
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:04,203
Welcome to a very
magical Tool Time.
2
00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,710
That was just a
cheesy video effect.
3
00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,756
On today's show, we're
gonna have some real magic.
4
00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:15,859
That's right. Heidi is
going to introduce us
5
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:18,950
to two of the world's
biggest prestidigitators.
6
00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:24,356
Not on this show you're not.
7
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,892
No, no.
8
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,321
A prestidigitator is a magician.
9
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,364
Oh.
10
00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:33,465
Phew.
11
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,400
Well, in that case,
you're wondering
12
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,636
why would you have a
magician on this show?
13
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,082
That's because I
think magic is cool.
14
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:40,417
In order to spice Tool Time up,
15
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:42,641
we're gonna turn Tool
Time into Cool Time.
16
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,677
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Penn & Teller!
17
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:46,945
(ALL APPLAUDING)
18
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:54,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
19
00:00:57,424 --> 00:00:58,424
Thank you.
20
00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:00,937
Oh, wow! This is great.
21
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:02,201
Great to have you on the show.
22
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:03,573
Oh, it's great to be
here. I'm such a...
23
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,075
I'm such a big fan of Tool Time.
24
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:06,331
Teller, how about you?
25
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,266
He doesn't talk.
26
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,235
An assistant who doesn't talk.
27
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,183
I'd like to switch. I've
got 20 bucks right here...
28
00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:15,640
Where's my wallet?
29
00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:20,879
AL: Oh, that's great!
30
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:22,213
He's very good. He's...
31
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,242
That's the really tough one.
32
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,488
They are very good, huh?
33
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:31,635
So, what other tricks are
you gonna show us today?
34
00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:34,326
We're gonna show you
the Houdini box escape!
35
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:35,894
Houdini box escape!
36
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,296
We have a perfectly ordinary
box here. Solid plywood.
37
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:39,898
Need someone to examine it,
38
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:42,111
make sure there are no trapdoors
or secret panels or anything.
39
00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:43,212
Anybody?
40
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:44,837
Tim, why don't you
examine it here?
41
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:47,639
You're the expert on structural
integrity. Check it out here.
42
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,352
Check it out. Check
it out on the inside.
43
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:50,754
Be sure to check
the bottom there.
44
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,088
Make sure there
are no trapdoors.
45
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,579
No trapdoor.
46
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,224
You want to make sure there's
no catch there or anything.
47
00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:56,314
All right.
48
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:57,461
Just check it out
there. There we go!
49
00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:58,817
TIM: Hey!
50
00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:00,046
There we go.
51
00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:03,468
Watch your fingers.
Watch your fingers.
52
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,357
There we go.
53
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,004
How are you doing in there, Tim?
54
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,060
TIM: I'm in a box!
55
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,262
All right!
56
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,265
Okay. So, what happens now?
57
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:18,069
Well, if he were Houdini, he'd
be escaping in about 38 seconds.
58
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,805
But since it's Tim,
it's gonna be awhile.
59
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:21,918
Get comfortable.
60
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:23,508
TIM: What?
61
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,544
Excellent trick!
62
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:26,811
TIM: Shut up, Al.
63
00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:32,717
So, what do you want to
do? It's Al's Tool Time now.
64
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,822
All right. Well, can
we saw this in half?
65
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:40,403
How about we saw Teller in
half? He's coming right over here.
66
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:41,871
TIM: Hey, let me out
of here! It's my show!
67
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:44,262
PENN: Yeah. Was
your show. Hurry up.
68
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,109
Look at this. So, you
can saw him in half.
69
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:47,911
What would you like
to use? What tool?
70
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:51,236
Well, why don't we use the
Binford 6100 power handsaw?
71
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,372
TIM: That's too much saw for Al!
72
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,709
Save your oxygen.
73
00:02:57,777 --> 00:03:00,478
This works most of the
time. Go ahead, give it a shot.
74
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:02,079
You'll be okay.
75
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,662
There you go. Beautiful.
76
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:09,287
Oh, nicely done. Nicely
done. Beautifully done.
77
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,476
Beautiful. Now, let's just prove
you went all the way through.
78
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,592
There it is!
79
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:19,163
I did it! All right!
80
00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:21,466
Now, are you okay?
81
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,080
He's fine. He's fine. Yeah!
82
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:25,481
You want to see how it's done?
83
00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:26,816
TIM: I'd like to
see how it's done.
84
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,575
Okay. Just... Well,
we're not murderers.
85
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:34,446
So, we just have Teller squished
up in the top half of the box.
86
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,548
AL: Tim, you got to see this!
87
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,149
That was so great.
88
00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:40,619
Then you just find
some flunky backstage
89
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:43,622
and use him to play
the part of the feet.
90
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:45,824
There he is! Escapo!
91
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,860
Very nicely done, Tim.
92
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,809
Ladies and gentlemen,
Penn & Teller!
93
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,158
Hey, Jill. Hi.
94
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:43,682
What you working on?
95
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:47,285
Oh, I have to write this
essay describing myself
96
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:49,921
for the PhD
application to U of M.
97
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:53,457
Well, tell them you're brilliant,
insightful and a great humanitarian.
98
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,260
I am?
99
00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:57,562
No. But they don't
know that, right?
100
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,698
Brad, I can't screw this up.
101
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:03,568
Some of us aren't soccer stars who
can count on getting a scholarship.
102
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:08,005
In fact, some of us are stuck working at
the zoo, hosing out the penguin house.
103
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:14,746
Well, that explains those
feathers in the lint trap.
104
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,392
Oh, your friend
Jim called, Brad.
105
00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:17,983
Oh, yeah.
106
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,697
He must be calling about that
party he's having Saturday night.
107
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,999
The ladies are gonna
be rolling through there.
108
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,383
Saturday night's
all right for Brad.
109
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:29,761
Actually, Saturday night's
kind of big for me, too.
110
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,830
Chilly Millie's eggs
are gonna hatch.
111
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:35,633
(DOOR CLOSING)
112
00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:37,280
Hey, guys. JILL: Hi.
113
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:40,238
Say, did you guys
catch Tool Time today?
114
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,474
Yeah. I actually did.
115
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:43,674
You watched Tool Time?
116
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:46,544
Yeah. I was trying to
avoid writing my essay.
117
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:49,480
I was desperate.
118
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:52,295
But, yeah, I really liked Penn
& Teller. They were great.
119
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:56,087
Yeah. You know, but some of the
die-hard tool fans got to me after the show
120
00:05:56,156 --> 00:06:00,025
and said they're missing the
regular, basic Tool Times, you know?
121
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,826
Wonder if I'm
alienating my fan base?
122
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,195
Don't worry. He'll forgive you.
123
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,235
Hey, guys. Hey, Mark.
124
00:06:10,304 --> 00:06:12,804
What's the buzz about
Tool Time around school?
125
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,912
No one's ever heard of it.
126
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,877
Hey, what's this big wet spot?
127
00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:22,058
Oh, it looks like the hallway
toilet overflowed. I'll shut it off.
128
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:24,427
JILL: Oh, no! Like
we need this right now.
129
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,996
Would you go downstairs in
the basement and get some rags?
130
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,831
Sure. I can't believe it!
131
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,967
We're gonna have to pull
up the rug and dry it out!
132
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,223
Fix the toilet!
133
00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:33,958
You know, honey, as usual,
134
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:38,096
you look at a broken toilet as
half-empty, I look at it as half-full.
135
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,932
This is a perfect project to get
Tool Time back on track, huh?
136
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,545
Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah.
137
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,979
No Tool Times in the
house. It's disruptive.
138
00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:45,481
You always end up
breaking something else.
139
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,483
This broken toilet's too good
an opportunity to pass up.
140
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,807
It's like that guy
that saw a spring.
141
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:52,978
He said, "That's not a
spring. That's a Slinky."
142
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,362
Welcome back to
Tool Time on location.
143
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,626
Today, we're gonna do a
great old-fashioned Tool Time.
144
00:07:01,654 --> 00:07:03,221
It's a hands-on
one. You'll enjoy it.
145
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:06,024
That's right. You get to
watch us in the bathroom.
146
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:10,506
That's not all. Later, we're
gonna replace carpet padding.
147
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:12,897
What a show!
148
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,864
Okay, this toilet
overflowed through the
149
00:07:14,888 --> 00:07:17,002
top of the tank due
to a broken float valve.
150
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,504
Now, first you want to drain
the tank, loosen the nuts
151
00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:21,906
and remove the old
ball-cock assembly.
152
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:26,844
Al's looking to do a similar
procedure with his own doctor.
153
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:33,251
Right now, Al's gonna show us how
to install a high-tech float mechanism.
154
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,619
(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)
155
00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:36,398
Oh, I'm sorry. Cut! Sorry, guys.
156
00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:38,167
What's so important you
gotta interrupt the show?
157
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,224
I need my earring and my mousse.
158
00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:44,162
Your earring's probably in
your mom's jewelry case.
159
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,631
If you're looking for a
moose, go to a VFW hall.
160
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,312
Okay, now we're gonna show you
161
00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,348
how to deal with any water
damage that may have occurred.
162
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:55,173
In this case, it also damaged
some of the carpet pad.
163
00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:56,819
And the drywall in the ceiling.
164
00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,587
We're gonna show
you how to replace both.
165
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:01,479
That's right. What could be a
better hands-on Tool Time than that?
166
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:03,614
I started this show,
what? Nine years ago
167
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,650
with just a dream and my hammer.
168
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:08,452
And the best assistant that
minimum wage could buy.
169
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,389
HEIDI: Oh, my God! Brad!
170
00:08:11,457 --> 00:08:12,835
AL: Are you all
right? Cut, cut, cut!
171
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,270
TIM: Are you all
right? BRAD: My knee.
172
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,727
Your knee? You hit your knee?
Okay, okay. Does this hurt?
173
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,274
Yes. What kind of hurt is it?
174
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,508
Pain! Okay. What kind of pain?
175
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:20,665
Pain!
176
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,811
It's an emergency! Emergency!
177
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:22,867
Don't panic...
178
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:24,780
Quick! Get a doc!
Doctor, emergency!
179
00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,582
It's a good thing Binford has a
paramedic standing by, you know?
180
00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:27,916
Right here. Right
this way. This way.
181
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:29,707
He fell down the stairs.
182
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:38,516
You might want to look at the
guy that's at the bottom of the stairs.
183
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,602
How's Brad doing?
184
00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:59,471
Oh, his tests are almost done.
185
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,573
He'll be out of
Radiology in a minute.
186
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,520
I don't understand why I
couldn't go in there with him.
187
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,911
Because you've had so many
X-rays you glow in the dark.
188
00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:10,815
I'm gonna check on Brad.
189
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,951
Tim, don't touch anything.
190
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,197
(BEEPS)
191
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,503
(TICKING)
192
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,976
(TICKING RAPIDLY)
193
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,655
(FLATLINE)
194
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,098
Okay, Brad.
195
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:04,802
Dr. Brown is gonna come by
and give you your X-ray results.
196
00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:06,014
Okay, now, use
some of your weight.
197
00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:08,278
Ready, one, two, three, go.
198
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:25,156
Okay, Brad, if your dad
tries to touch anything else,
199
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:26,791
just hit him with this.
200
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,595
Will do.
201
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,297
How you feeling?
202
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,776
I feel terrible. I
mean, this sucks.
203
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,611
I have a game to get
ready for on Sunday.
204
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,680
I'll bet you'll be okay
by game time, huh?
205
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:41,873
I came as fast as I could.
Oh, my God! My poor baby.
206
00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,674
What did the doctor say?
207
00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:45,655
They just got the X-rays, and
we're waiting for the results.
208
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,256
How did this
happen? It was a fluke.
209
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,557
You know, he wasn't
watching where he was going.
210
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,393
He just tripped down the stairs.
211
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,462
Wait, wait. This is
my fault? No fault.
212
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:54,497
No, no, no. It's because
of his stupid Tool Time.
213
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,299
Oh, "stupid" Tool Time?
Yes. Stupid Tool Time.
214
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,200
Dad, you left the carpet
in the middle of the stairs!
215
00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,769
I didn't leave it there. It
wouldn't have been there
216
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,237
if you'd waited to
come down the stairs
217
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:02,604
after we'd finished the scene.
218
00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:04,006
Hey, hey, hey, there's
no point assigning blame.
219
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,374
Yeah, well, he
started it. I did not.
220
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,676
Did, too. Did not.
221
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,799
Did, too.
222
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:10,034
Guys! Guys, knock it off!
223
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,248
The important thing is it's
gonna get taken care of, okay?
224
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:13,512
TIM: Yeah.
225
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,339
Hello, Brad.
226
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:16,728
Oh, hi. Hi. I'm Jill Taylor.
227
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,476
Dr. Brown. Hi. Hi.
228
00:11:18,544 --> 00:11:20,456
Hey, Dr. Brown. I
know. Tim Taylor.
229
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,948
Thanks to you we have a
spanking new CAT scan machine!
230
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,087
So, Doctor, am I gonna be
ready for the game on Sunday?
231
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:34,158
Well, I'm afraid you won't
be playing soccer for a while.
232
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,127
What?
233
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:39,130
You probably have
a meniscal tear.
234
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,598
Looks like you're
gonna need surgery.
235
00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:47,738
Surgery. It's that serious?
236
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:50,942
I can't believe this.
237
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,555
Well, you know,
as soon as it heals,
238
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:54,979
it'll be as good as new, right?
239
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,560
It will be as good
as new, right?
240
00:11:57,584 --> 00:12:00,652
Well, it's hard to say.
Here. Let me show you.
241
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,755
The meniscus,
which is right here,
242
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:09,393
is a cartilage disk which acts like
a shock absorber for the knee joint.
243
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:10,895
I see.
244
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,664
It's like going over potholes
without your suspension.
245
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:21,439
Yes, Mr. Taylor,
it's just like that.
246
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:26,845
There's no way to assess the full
extent of the damage until we get inside.
247
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,480
Well, should we schedule
the surgery right away?
248
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,617
Well, first I want to send
you to an orthopedic surgeon.
249
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:36,821
He'll do an MRI to make
sure my diagnosis is correct.
250
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:40,391
And until then,
Brad, stay off that leg.
251
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,426
Okay. Well, thank
you, Dr. Brown.
252
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:43,594
Okay.
253
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:47,232
This is a total nightmare.
254
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,378
I mean, with a blown knee, I
might never play soccer again.
255
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,214
This could ruin my
entire scholarship.
256
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:52,436
Now, you don't know that.
257
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:55,172
No. And if that was
eventually the case,
258
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,185
we could still pay
for your college.
259
00:12:57,209 --> 00:12:59,929
And you'd be able to park
closer to the school then.
260
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:06,661
Dad, I'm not even gonna get into
college without a soccer scholarship.
261
00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:09,064
If it wasn't for your stupid Tool
Time, this would've never happened!
262
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:10,366
It wasn't my stupid Tool Time.
263
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:11,500
Yes, it is. There's no
point blaming your dad.
264
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,656
Come on, Brad!
265
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:14,236
Look, I'm sorry this happened.
266
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:15,838
But we're not even sure
how serious this is yet.
267
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,039
Yeah. You don't even know
if you're gonna have surgery.
268
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:18,273
Yeah, or my career
could be over.
269
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:19,363
Let's not talk like that.
270
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,331
No. Wait.
271
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,579
Sometimes it's helpful to play
out the worst-case scenario.
272
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,380
All right. So, let's play out
the worst-case scenario.
273
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:27,071
All right.
274
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,684
I've blown my knee, my
career's over, I never get a job,
275
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,786
I spend all my time sitting
on the couch, watching TV
276
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,510
and picking potato chips
out of my cheesy mustache.
277
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:36,447
Yeah, thanks! I feel great!
278
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:39,117
That works much better
in my Psychology groups.
279
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:47,224
Hey, Brad. Do you want us to
drop you by Jim's soccer party?
280
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,060
Yo, Brad?
281
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:52,563
Honey, do you
want a ride or not?
282
00:13:52,631 --> 00:13:54,844
Yeah, I'm just dying to listen
to people talk about soccer
283
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:57,768
while I limp around like
some washed-up loser.
284
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,549
Well, do you want to go to the
Saginaw Cheese Awards banquet, huh?
285
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:04,575
Yeah, your dad's nominated
for Car Guy of the Year again.
286
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:07,645
He's gonna get the Lifetime
A-cheese-ment Award.
287
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:14,151
I'd rather sit here and relive
the highlights of my youth.
288
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:16,933
Okay. Well, you know, maybe
it's better if you get some rest
289
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:19,356
before the operation, Monday.
290
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,192
We'll see you later.
291
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:27,131
So, what do you want to do?
292
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,334
I want to sit here and think of
all the reasons why life sucks.
293
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:31,802
Hey, cool.
294
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:36,908
(WILSON CHANTING)
295
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:38,910
Hey, Wilson.
296
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,348
Hey, Wilson.
297
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:47,184
Oh. I'm sorry, Brad.
I was just meditating.
298
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:49,086
Aren't you cold out here?
299
00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:51,188
Well, when I chant "Om
mani pa-toe-me foom"
300
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:53,035
I'm trying to
commune with nature.
301
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:57,328
But now that you mention it, I
am freezing my pa-toe-mes off.
302
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:02,600
Yeah. Living next to my dad, you're lucky
your pa-toe-mes are still in one piece.
303
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:06,081
Well, obviously you're still
upset with him about your injury.
304
00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:08,505
Shouldn't you be
inside, resting that knee?
305
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:09,974
Yeah. But if it
wasn't for my dad,
306
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:12,075
I wouldn't have
to rest it at all.
307
00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:15,664
You know, Brad, you remind
me of an Iban tribesman.
308
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:18,515
Yeah. I get that all the time.
309
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,362
You see, the Iban
live in Borneo.
310
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:23,465
And they believe that evil spirits
are the cause of all their misfortunes.
311
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:27,758
So, every night they dance and they
put on these strange wooden masks
312
00:15:27,826 --> 00:15:30,628
to drive the evil spirits away.
313
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,663
So, what does that
have to do with me?
314
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,643
Well, like the Iban,
we'd all like to believe
315
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,412
that outside forces are the
cause of all of our problems.
316
00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:39,181
It gives rationality
to our universe.
317
00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:43,574
But the truth is, sometimes
accidents just happen.
318
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:46,021
So, you're saying that it's
not my dad's fault that I tripped.
319
00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:47,779
And it was more
or less bad luck?
320
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:49,280
Yeah, I suppose so.
321
00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:51,849
I think the thing to do
is just hope for the best
322
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:54,652
and be open to
exploring new paths.
323
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,754
You know, the British
author, J.M. Barrie said,
324
00:15:56,822 --> 00:16:01,592
"A man's life is like a diary in
which he means to write one story,
325
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,561
"but ends up writing another."
326
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:07,550
Yeah, I know. But, Wilson, I mean,
soccer's always been part of my life.
327
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,233
You know, it's, like, who I am.
328
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,636
You go to my school, you can ask
anybody. I'm Brad the soccer dude.
329
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:16,541
But you can also be Brad
the nuclear-physicist dude.
330
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:19,076
Or Brad the
animal-husbandry dude.
331
00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:23,814
Yeah. But I don't know
anything about physics.
332
00:16:23,882 --> 00:16:27,351
And I really don't want to know what
it's like to be an animal's husband.
333
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:33,101
You know, Brad,
all I'm saying is,
334
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:36,794
there's a whole world out
there for you to explore.
335
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:38,942
So, there's gonna be a
lot of opportunities for me?
336
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,399
Yes, exactly. That's the spirit.
337
00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,513
Let me ask you something.
Aside from soccer,
338
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,349
have you thought about what
you want to focus on in college?
339
00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:49,306
Oh, yeah. I think
about it all the time.
340
00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:50,774
Besides girls?
341
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:53,644
Then, no.
342
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:58,216
Well, that was
quite a night for you.
343
00:16:58,284 --> 00:16:59,350
Yup.
344
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,925
Saginaw Cheese's
Car Guy of the Year
345
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:10,294
for an unprecedented
three years running.
346
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,596
And I just can't
seem to enjoy it.
347
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:16,225
Oh, come on, Tim. They
immortalized you in Gouda.
348
00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:19,704
Yeah, but with Brad so mad
at me, this trophy of cheese
349
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,438
seems almost meaningless.
350
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,509
Hey, Mom. Hey.
351
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:28,379
Hey, Dad.
352
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:31,326
So, you decided to
go to the party after all?
353
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:33,083
Yeah. What smells so good?
354
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:34,385
My head.
355
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:38,267
Cool. How'd the
banquet go? It was great.
356
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:39,801
Three years running,
I'm the champ.
357
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:41,637
The Lifetime A-cheese-ment
Award, everything.
358
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:45,530
I met Mrs. Cheese, the Muenster
twins, everybody was there.
359
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:47,531
You sound like you're
in a better mood.
360
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,878
Yeah. I just realized
I was blaming you
361
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:53,222
because I was seeking
rationality in my universe.
362
00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:57,753
That's some pretty
heavy thinking.
363
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,577
Well, you know
me. I'm very deep.
364
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:02,191
You been talking to Wilson?
365
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,382
Yeah, that, too.
366
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,917
Well, I'm glad you're not
mad at your dad anymore.
367
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:10,054
Yeah. I was just
mad at the situation.
368
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:11,956
I mean, it's really
nobody's fault.
369
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:14,002
That shows a lot of maturity, the
way you're working through this.
370
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:17,426
You know, I really should put
your father's head in the refrigerator.
371
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,876
I'm just sorry you got to
go through any of this, Brad.
372
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,733
Yeah. Me, too.
373
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:26,104
But I just have to use this injury as
an opportunity to think about my future.
374
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:28,050
Your future. You
got a lot of options!
375
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:30,708
I know. But then why do
I feel sick to my stomach?
376
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,087
Well, because
it's kind of scary,
377
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,822
thinking of your life going
in an opposite direction
378
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,390
than it was before
this, you know?
379
00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:38,416
Yeah, I never thought I'd
have to think about this now.
380
00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:41,029
I figured I'd be playing
soccer well into my 60s.
381
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:44,622
Yeah. The only soccer
player out there in a walker.
382
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:47,190
I'll get it. Hold
on, I'll get it.
383
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,400
It's too big.
384
00:18:56,469 --> 00:19:00,071
You guys are just gonna have
to eat through the cranium tonight.
385
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,674
Good night, sweetie. Good night.
386
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,075
I'll be right up.
387
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:08,390
What were we talking about?
388
00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:10,892
We were talking about
what I want to do with my life.
389
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:12,383
Well, you're 17 years old.
390
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,129
I don't think we gotta figure
that out right now, do we?
391
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,331
Yeah. Well, that's
easy for you to say.
392
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:16,832
You knew what you were gonna do.
393
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,456
No, I didn't.
394
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:20,436
I figured I was gonna be a
Binford salesman the rest of my life.
395
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,793
I never figured I'd be the
head guy on a tool show.
396
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:25,302
Or would that be the big cheese?
397
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:28,198
Or the head cheese.
398
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:33,983
Look, I don't know what your
future's gonna bring and neither do you.
399
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:35,851
I just know that if you work
hard like you do at soccer,
400
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,515
you can be good
at anything, Brad.
401
00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:39,610
Yeah, I hope so.
402
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,090
Listen, I'm sorry
I was such a jerk.
403
00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:42,746
It's okay, it's okay.
404
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:43,847
I'm hungry. You?
405
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:44,960
Yeah, I'm starving.
406
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,751
Hey, how about...
I don't know...
407
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,053
Macaroni and cheeks?
408
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,157
How about some
nose and crackers?
409
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,258
I like it.
410
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,993
I'll get a knife,
I'll cut the cheese.
411
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,233
Slowly, honey.
412
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,583
How'd the physical therapy go?
413
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:08,940
It went great.
414
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,020
They said I'm healing
really fast from surgery.
415
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,788
And they said I have a good
chance of playing soccer again.
416
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,657
All right! Where's your dad?
417
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:16,525
Oh, he's out in the backyard.
418
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,629
I think he's got a
little surprise for you.
419
00:20:18,952 --> 00:20:20,117
No.
420
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:23,220
(ENGINE WHIRRING)
421
00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:31,828
Check it out.
422
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:35,043
No, it's Binford's new
experimental all-terrain chair.
423
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:39,136
Now you can heal
at 40 miles an hour.
424
00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:41,049
So you expect me to
ride this thing around town.
425
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:44,341
It's great. Two-cylinder,
46 horsepower.
426
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,510
This thing is wonderful.
All-wheel drive.
427
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:51,849
After this, we could go down to the
rest home and do some drag racing.
428
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,951
Old Man Brady's been
talking trash again.
429
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,786
Steering is pretty intense.
430
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:58,322
You just point it
where you want to go.
431
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,360
(CRASHING)
432
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:18,453
Hey, Brad, you
want us to take...
433
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:19,957
You want us to
take you over to...
434
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,482
Hey, Brad, you
want us to take...
435
00:21:27,253 --> 00:21:29,453
Hey, Brad. You want us to...
436
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:35,971
Do you want us to drop you by...
437
00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:37,639
It's gonna come
out like that, see?
438
00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:40,598
Hey, Brad. Do you want us to
drop you by that Jim's soccer party?
439
00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:43,733
Huh? You'd like to...
440
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,836
I'll get a knife,
I'll cut the cheese.
441
00:21:49,242 --> 00:21:50,640
I just did.
441
00:21:51,305 --> 00:22:51,660
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