1
00:00:03,004 --> 00:00:04,636
Sorry about that, guy.
2
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:08,107
Try some Merthiolate or
Mercurochrome. It'll help out.
3
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:12,411
Welcome back to
our Tool Time salute...
4
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:13,745
(LOUD BELCH)
5
00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:16,682
To men! To men!
6
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,862
Continuing our show about
everything that men like,
7
00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:20,752
we've got a display
you're gonna love.
8
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:23,955
And our guests are the authors
of the mucho macho book...
9
00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:26,236
The Big Damn Book
of Sheer Manliness!
10
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:27,693
Heidi?
11
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:36,701
Nice pelt. Okay, let's bring
out our authors of the book,
12
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:39,771
Brant and Todd, the
Von Hoffman brothers.
13
00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:43,308
Todd. How're you doing?
Great to have you on the show.
14
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,078
Nice to meet you guys.
15
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:47,412
I'm Todd.
16
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:48,725
I'm Tim. I'm Heidi.
17
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:51,082
I'm single. I'm not surprised.
18
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,121
Quick testosterone quiz.
19
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:57,701
Man's best friend... Uh...
20
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,124
His mother.
21
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:04,062
It's his dog, you big nellie.
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00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:07,632
Harsh words coming from a
military man in tasseled loafers.
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00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:13,272
Yeah, you big... Boss.
24
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:15,485
Favorite guy movie.
True Grit? Spartacus?
25
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,790
Oh, yeah... My Fair Lady.
26
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,557
My Fair Lady? Yes.
27
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,701
What's wrong with My Fair
Lady? It's a great movie.
28
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,517
(TOGETHER) "Why Can't a
Woman be More Like a Man?"
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00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,520
Because surgery's too expensive.
30
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,934
Come on. Let's get to the
meat and potatoes of this show.
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00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:33,292
What's the manliest
meal a man can fix?
32
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,927
BOTH: Chili. You're
darn tooting. Heidi?
33
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:39,330
And speaking of tooting...
34
00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:41,510
Today we're gonna show
you how to make our special
35
00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:43,634
three-alarm colon cleaner.
36
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,805
All right, guys.
What do we do first?
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00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:50,887
Well, first we've already, uh,
browned up a couple of pounds of meat.
38
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,244
Now, we know you like beef.
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00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,724
(GRUNTING) I love
beef. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
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00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:58,116
Well, we prefer rattlesnake. But
today we're going with Al's favorite...
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00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,484
Lean stewing turkey.
42
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,219
That's right.
43
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,398
Now, while that's
simmering, you want to add
44
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:04,200
two cans of chopped,
peeled tomatoes
45
00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:06,269
and a bottle of
your favorite brew.
46
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,871
And, of course, there's
always a debate about
47
00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,761
whether or not beans
should be added.
48
00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:14,165
Actually, the debate begins two
hours after you've added the beans.
49
00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:15,745
That's right. What the
hell? We're men, right?
50
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,269
TIM: Go for it, baby.
51
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:19,382
AL: Next you want
to put in your chili mix.
52
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:22,541
Right. And a manly
jalapeno pepper.
53
00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:25,422
Now, if there's women-folk
partaking, you might want to go easy.
54
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:26,744
Oh, please!
55
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:30,393
Now, you want to let
this stew for about a day.
56
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,295
But we have a pot
here all ready for tasting.
57
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,629
All right, Heidi. That's great.
58
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:34,819
Oh, yeah.
59
00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:38,323
Okay. Oh, clumsy me.
60
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,694
Okay, here you go, boys.
61
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,596
Thank you.
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00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,364
Oh, I'm sorry... "Men."
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00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:50,302
Al! Al, not with a spoon. Always
eat three-alarm chili with a saltine.
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00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,615
Absolutely! That's right.
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00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:53,771
Mmm.
66
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,641
Mmm.
67
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,949
I upped it to eight-alarm just to
weed out the men from the boys.
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00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:06,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
69
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:05,877
Let me guess. You're
reading the footnotes?
70
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:08,992
Yeah, that's very funny. I'm
doing physical therapy for soccer.
71
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:11,194
I gotta put some
weight on my knees.
72
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,719
Have you tried standing up?
73
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,388
Here, take that. All right.
74
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:19,057
Come on, Dad. Lean on me.
75
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:20,403
You ready for this? Oh, yes.
76
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:23,294
All right, buddy. Okay, go.
77
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,364
(GRUNTS)
78
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:27,499
(BREATHING LOUDLY)
79
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,005
What do they call
that? Jerk du Soleil?
80
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:39,144
I tell you, this
kid's getting strong.
81
00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:40,912
Pretty soon he'll
be able to lift you.
82
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:42,581
Very funny. Ha! Ha!
83
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,083
All right. I gotta go
stretch my quads.
84
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,384
Oh. Hmm.
85
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,153
So, how was your day, baby?
86
00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:52,490
Well, I handed in my
thesis to Dr. Hanover.
87
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,826
Congratulations! You
must feel fantastic!
88
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,840
No. What? Are you kidding?
89
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:58,808
I have to defend my paper now in
front of this whole thesis committee.
90
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,076
And maybe I won't
know the material.
91
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,845
Maybe I won't be able
to answer their questions.
92
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,435
Maybe my whole career
will go into a downward spiral.
93
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:07,205
Maybe you should
see a therapist.
94
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:09,914
Oh, that's right. You are
one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
95
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,543
Say hello.
96
00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:15,847
Oh, Mark! When are you gonna
stop this family documentary thing?
97
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,793
I'm just getting some
last-minute shots.
98
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,663
The class is showing our
films a week from Friday.
99
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:25,023
Great! Now I can make a fool out of
myself in front of a whole classroom.
100
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,602
(DOOR BELL
RINGS) Oh, stop. Stop.
101
00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:27,758
I got it.
102
00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:34,165
Oh, hi, Gregory.
Come on in! Hi, Mark.
103
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:35,967
What's going on?
104
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,880
Mark, I'm having an
anxiety attack about my film.
105
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:42,707
It's like Antonio Banderas is
doing the lambada on my liver.
106
00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:46,111
I'll see what I can do about it.
107
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:51,349
Mom, Dad, this is Gregory.
He's in my film class.
108
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:53,451
Hi. Hello, Gregory. Tim Taylor.
109
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:57,022
I'd, uh, shake your hands, but
human contact makes me queasy.
110
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:03,561
How do you feel about some killer
chili? You want to stay for dinner?
111
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,829
Sorry.
112
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,858
I can't masticate
in front of strangers.
113
00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:10,602
Who can?
114
00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:16,552
I can't believe I have
to waste my Friday night
115
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:18,210
watching your stupid video.
116
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:21,947
It's payback for having to watch
you kick your stupid soccer ball.
117
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,782
Guys, this is what family's
all about, you know?
118
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,751
Doing stuff together
that you hate.
119
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:32,958
Oh, my gosh! That's Dr. Hanover.
120
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,559
(LAUGHS)
121
00:06:34,627 --> 00:06:36,594
Call him Dr. Comb-over.
122
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:39,430
(SHUSHING) That was a good one.
123
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:41,077
This guy is head of
the Psych Department.
124
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,646
I have to defend my
thesis to him tomorrow.
125
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:46,615
Are you sure he shouldn't be
defending his haircut to you?
126
00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:47,717
(SHUSHING)
127
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,173
Good one.
128
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,042
Hello, Jill.
129
00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:54,424
Oh, hi, Dr. Hanover. What
are you doing here tonight?
130
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,893
Well, I have a child in
the class. This is Emily.
131
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,295
Oh, hi. It's nice to meet
you. This is my husband Tim.
132
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:00,730
Tim. And one of my sons, Brad.
133
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,554
Brad.
134
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:04,867
Our film student's over there
talking to that boy in the corner.
135
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:08,560
Yeah, that's poor
Gregory Winston.
136
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:11,228
You know, talk about a
psychological case study.
137
00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:12,909
I'd really like to
meet his parents.
138
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,299
Well, you'll have to
settle for the father.
139
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,901
How do you do?
140
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,539
He's my stepson.
141
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,652
I'm well aware that
Gregory has issues.
142
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:27,345
But in the future, you might not want
to be so quick to share your diagnoses.
143
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:29,959
I'll see you tomorrow
morning, 9:00 a.m. sharp.
144
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,282
(SNIGGERING)
145
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:35,887
Good one.
146
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,224
Attention, everyone.
Find yourselves a seat.
147
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,028
Our young directors
have all made
148
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:47,766
gritty, realistic documentaries
about their families.
149
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:51,536
And it's my belief that any
one of these budding auteurs
150
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:56,107
could grow up to direct
the next Rescue 911.
151
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,777
Mark, would you like
to man the video deck?
152
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:01,112
Damian, the lights.
153
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:07,129
To say that I'm the black sheep of
my family would be an understatement.
154
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:11,322
I'm hoping to move up to black
sheep. My mother's a Rhodes scholar,
155
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:14,725
my father's a Doctor of Psychology.
My biggest accomplishment is
156
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:16,761
that I flossed this morning.
157
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:19,475
Gregory, stop that taping and
get over here and eat your chicken!
158
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,932
Yes, Father.
159
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,503
Checkmate again, son.
160
00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:31,776
GREGORY: There's nothing I enjoy
more than playing chess with my father.
161
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:34,879
Except for maybe a
cerebral hemorrhage?
162
00:08:40,254 --> 00:08:43,755
Our last film is from the
very gifted Mark Taylor.
163
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:48,112
Tim? Wake up! Tim!
164
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,407
We'll be right back after
these messages from Binford!
165
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:52,671
(SHUSHING)
166
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:08,580
MARK: Meet my family. On
the surface, we seem normal.
167
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:11,382
But things are not
always what they seem.
168
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:32,369
Brad, that's disgusting!
169
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:35,372
Wait till you see what
I did with the spoon.
170
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,758
Hey, Mom. How was your day?
171
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:50,188
You really want to
know how my day was?
172
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,655
Not really.
173
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:53,736
Uh-oh.
174
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,093
What?
175
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:57,829
Well, it was going
great until I had this
176
00:09:57,897 --> 00:10:01,833
awful conference with this
horribly arrogant professor of mine.
177
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:06,048
Please don't mention his name!
Please don't mention his name!
178
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:07,216
You didn't, you
didn't, you didn't.
179
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,473
Dr. Hanover.
180
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:09,774
You did!
181
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,123
He's a pompous
jackass, you know?
182
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,814
He's smug, he's didactic.
183
00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:18,928
And what is the deal with men,
you know, and their comb-overs?
184
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,864
I mean, this one would start
at his neck and stretch across.
185
00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:24,155
Hideous thing.
186
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,759
Good one.
187
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:36,200
And those are the Taylors. If
they are the typical American family,
188
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,668
this country's in trouble.
189
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:50,248
I can't look. Check out
Dr. Hanover. See if he's angry.
190
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,216
Don't make it obvious.
191
00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:58,022
He's not angry.
192
00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,931
He's not? He's gone.
193
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:06,275
Mom, are you ever gonna get off
the phone? I've gotta make some calls.
194
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:07,843
Use your phone. I can't.
195
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:10,902
I'm downloading some
hot pictures from Denmark
196
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,071
of Danishes.
197
00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:19,054
Brad, I've been trying to apologize
to Dr. Hanover for two hours. It's busy.
198
00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:20,645
I gotta keep trying.
199
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:24,549
Hey, Mom! Did you ever
get a hold of your professor?
200
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:27,797
No. And, you know, none of this
would've happened if you hadn't
201
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,031
taped me without my knowledge.
202
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:30,599
Don't you know that's illegal?
203
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:33,358
It would be, except you
said I could tape you.
204
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,960
I have it on tape.
205
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:39,597
I would never have approved of this
if I'd known that you were gonna be
206
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:42,834
so irresponsible about
what you showed people!
207
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:44,980
You're right. I should
have checked with you.
208
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:46,471
I'm really sorry.
209
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,183
Mom, you don't even
know if he saw Mark's video.
210
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,847
He could've just
left after Gregory's.
211
00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:52,154
Well, I can't take the chance of
walking into that thesis committee
212
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:54,211
without knowing for sure.
213
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,983
Oh, good! It's ringing.
214
00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:02,673
Hello, Gregory? GREGORY: Yeah.
215
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,989
Hi, this is Mrs.
Taylor, Mark's mom.
216
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,057
Great film.
217
00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:08,325
Are you kidding?
218
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,628
I was so traumatized
by the public viewing that
219
00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:13,597
I just spent two hours on the
phone with an Army recruiter.
220
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:19,503
Interesting. Uh, Gregory, is your
father there? I need to talk to him.
221
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:24,008
Uh, he's upstairs asleep. I think my
film sent him into a catatonic state.
222
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,744
And I don't mean Arizona.
223
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:29,781
Look, Gregory, did you and your
father stay and watch Mark's film?
224
00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:30,882
Uh-huh.
225
00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,684
Oh, no.
226
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,553
I feel so terrible. I really
wanted to apologize to him.
227
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:38,890
Oh, for calling him
a pompous jackass?
228
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:42,037
Yeah. He was paged a couple of
times so I'm not sure if he saw that part.
229
00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:43,694
But, uh, I enjoyed it.
230
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:50,546
I'm sorry I'm late. It's okay.
231
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,903
Dr. Hanover isn't
here yet anyway.
232
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,805
Well, he's a very busy man.
233
00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:57,875
Maybe we should just whip
through my thesis without him.
234
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:01,420
(CLEARS THROAT)
235
00:13:06,018 --> 00:13:08,953
What are you writing?
Never mind. Ah.
236
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,354
Here's Dr. Hanover now.
237
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:12,123
Hello, Jill.
238
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,777
Well, speaking for the
committee, we feel that
239
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,401
your thesis is
basically quite solid.
240
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:25,803
Oh, good.
241
00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:29,573
But we felt there were a few
things that were just a hair off.
242
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,949
A hair off?
243
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:41,252
Dr. Miller, would
you like to elaborate?
244
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,620
Well, I...
245
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,467
Was it the conclusion?
Was it too thin?
246
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:45,590
(JILL STAMMERING)
247
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:51,161
Sparse? I mean, shallow?
248
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:54,365
I wasn't ready to talk
about the conclusion just yet.
249
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:57,101
Oh, sorry, I jumped
ahead... I mean forward.
250
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,170
Uh...
251
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:02,706
On page 48, you say that feminism
has complicated the traditional
252
00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:06,043
psychological dynamic
between fathers and sons.
253
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,412
Can you elaborate on that?
254
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:12,383
Yes, I can. Um, as
I stated on page 49,
255
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:16,221
"Fathers have to teach their sons
that women and men are equal,
256
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:19,168
"even though they may not
have been raised with that belief."
257
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,424
Point well taken.
258
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,213
Thank you,
Dr. Comb-over... Hanover!
259
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,514
Now, do you think you've
thoroughly addressed how
260
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:35,639
the relationship has changed
between mothers and sons?
261
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,974
Well, the thesis is called
262
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,645
"The Father-Son Dynamic
in the Post-Feminist Era."
263
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,714
I know what the thesis is
called. I came up with the title.
264
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,849
Wonderful title. Yeah.
265
00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:50,621
Now, is it possible that you've
treated the mother-son relationship
266
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,990
in a rather superficial way?
267
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,426
Superficial?
268
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:59,430
No. I think that I fully
addressed that in pages 38 to 47.
269
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:03,868
Well, I thought it was more
fully addressed in the first draft.
270
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:07,771
You shaved off a
little bit too much.
271
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,718
Jill, you've made some
pretty provocative statements.
272
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,354
The question is, can
you defend them?
273
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:12,910
Well, I don't know. I...
274
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:16,079
Well, if you don't know, how
are we supposed to know?
275
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:21,145
How did you like the typeface?
276
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,321
Helvetica 12 point?
277
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,368
Excellent choice. I liked it.
278
00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:26,757
Yeah. That's good.
279
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,062
(COUGHING)
280
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:33,998
Perfect. How was your day?
281
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:37,201
Imagine having your
head squeezed in a vice.
282
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,270
I don't have to imagine.
283
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,307
How was Dr. Hanover?
284
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,154
Obviously, he saw Mark's film.
285
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:46,388
He raked my thesis
over the coals.
286
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:48,457
Now I have to do a
whole rewrite by Friday.
287
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,214
Honey, the man
is a professional.
288
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:53,884
I can't believe he'd let a few personal
remarks get in the way of his job.
289
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,731
Well, if he wasn't attacking
me because of the insults,
290
00:15:56,755 --> 00:15:59,423
he was attacking me
because he hated my work.
291
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,994
There you go now. Feel better?
292
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,631
Here you go.
293
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:11,969
Oh, thanks. You know, this
part just doesn't seem right there.
294
00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:15,373
"When the mother tries to
instill feminist ideology in her son,
295
00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:19,443
"and the father presents a
counter philosophy/ethos,
296
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:22,546
"it can cause confusion
in the adolescent male."
297
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,118
Hmm, sounds good to me.
298
00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:30,021
You understand that?
299
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,189
No. But I'm a confused
adolescent male.
300
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:37,828
(TWITTERING)
301
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,232
Wilson?
302
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:44,802
Come to me, my lovely
little creature of the night.
303
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:48,605
What? Are you drunk?
304
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,286
Oh. No, no, no, no, Jill.
305
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:53,477
I was talking to the Chiroptera
which I'm trying to attract with
306
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,947
the sounds on
this tape recorder.
307
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,081
What's that?
308
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,583
Uh, it's a small device
for recording tapes.
309
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:02,420
No. I mean the other thing.
310
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:04,968
Oh, the Chiroptera.
Well, that's a bat.
311
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,468
I saw one swooping around here.
312
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:09,060
I'm trying to get her
to nest in my eaves.
313
00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:12,663
I was just wondering what
you thought of my thesis.
314
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:14,509
Oh, yes. The thesis, yes.
315
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,533
Well, that was a very
interesting rewrite.
316
00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:20,438
I thought your use of comparative
symbolism had a certain
317
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:22,351
textural resonance
that really, uh...
318
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,075
You think it blows.
319
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:26,010
Like a Nor'easter.
320
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,478
(SIGHS)
321
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,158
You know, to tell
you the truth, Jill,
322
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:30,859
I actually preferred
the original version.
323
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,016
So did I.
324
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,917
But Dr. Hanover
hated it, you know?
325
00:17:33,987 --> 00:17:36,165
And I have to make these changes
whether I believe in them or not.
326
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:39,423
You know, your situation
reminds me of Walking Naked.
327
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:40,557
Good night, Wilson.
328
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,304
No, no, no, no, no, no, Jill.
329
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:44,606
Walking Naked is a
play I wrote in college.
330
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:48,866
It's a saga of an Aztec warrior
who finds himself in New Jersey.
331
00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:51,502
Oh. Primitive man
adapts to modern society...
332
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:55,739
No, no, no, no, no. It's about a
guy who loses his clothes in Newark.
333
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:59,176
And funny stuff happens to him.
334
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,712
So, now, wait. What does
this have to do with my thesis?
335
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:05,682
Well, my drama department
wanted me to rewrite my play.
336
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:08,330
But I was very passionate
about Walking Naked.
337
00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:09,731
So, you refused to
make any of the changes?
338
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,700
No, no, no, no.
Quite the opposite.
339
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,635
I caved in, rewrote
the whole play.
340
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:14,769
It was a big success.
341
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:17,828
(SNIFFS) Uh-uh. You
must've been thrilled!
342
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:22,033
No, I felt terrible because I
compromised the integrity of the play.
343
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,835
So, you think that I should just
stick to what I wrote originally?
344
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:28,239
You know, Jill, your name is
gonna be on that thesis forever.
345
00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:31,875
Shouldn't it represent something
that you truly believe in?
346
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,745
Yes, it should.
347
00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:36,791
You've given me a lot to
think about. Thank you, Wilson.
348
00:18:36,815 --> 00:18:37,893
You're always so sensible.
349
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,828
(LAUGHING) Well, my pleasure.
350
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:43,354
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have an old brown bat to seduce.
351
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,308
Dr. Hanover?
352
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,632
Oh, Jill, come on in.
353
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:02,907
I've, uh, finished
all my revisions.
354
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,842
I look forward to reading it.
355
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:08,657
Dr. Hanover, I've tried to
incorporate all of your notes.
356
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:12,183
But, frankly, I just couldn't
make some of them work.
357
00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:13,818
Pity.
358
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:14,930
May I?
359
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:17,154
Oh, please. Yes.
360
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:21,592
Look, uh, I don't mean
to be disrespectful.
361
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:25,629
I could only write this in a
way that makes sense to me.
362
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:28,599
And I think you might have
been overly critical of my work.
363
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,033
Why?
364
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:33,337
Because you called me a pompous
jackass with a bad comb-over?
365
00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:36,507
I am so, so sorry.
366
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,643
Me, too.
367
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,288
When my wife heard what you said,
she came after me with an Epilady.
368
00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:41,432
(GASPS)
369
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:48,530
Yeah, I understand now why
you were so tough on my work.
370
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:52,056
Jill, I wasn't tough on you because
of the personal remarks you made.
371
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:55,104
So, you really
didn't like my thesis.
372
00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:56,927
No, no. I thought
it was quite good.
373
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,629
Uh, but during your oral exam,
374
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:03,067
it's my job to challenge you,
and your job to defend your work.
375
00:20:03,136 --> 00:20:05,702
And I didn't exactly rise
to that challenge, did I?
376
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:09,206
Well, I suspect your defense would
have been better if you weren't so
377
00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:11,208
flustered by the situation.
378
00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:16,046
Definitely. When you came in here
with your head shaved, I was completely...
379
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,515
Wigged out?
380
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:23,820
Good one!
381
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,434
Just wait till you get
out in private practice
382
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,225
and you have to deal with
what's inside people's heads.
383
00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:30,272
If I can't deal with
male pattern baldness,
384
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:32,875
what am I gonna do when I get
people who think they're Elvis?
385
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:37,501
I always make them a fried
peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich.
386
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,314
Jill, you're gonna be
a fine psychologist.
387
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:43,407
And I'm sure, in time, you'll learn
not to be thrown by the unexpected.
388
00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:46,455
Thank you, Dr. Hanover. And,
uh, when you've read my revisions,
389
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,423
I'll be ready to defend them.
390
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:53,651
Oh, Jill, before you go, can I get your
professional opinion on something?
391
00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:55,485
Oh, certainly. Yes.
392
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:03,627
What do you think of this?
393
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:06,430
You can wear it, but
can you defend it?
394
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:10,734
Touche.
395
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,850
Honey, that's great
news. It really is.
396
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,973
I'll see you at home. Love you.
397
00:21:17,042 --> 00:21:18,942
Well, good news.
398
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:21,978
Your dad, the
pompous Dr. Hanover,
399
00:21:22,047 --> 00:21:23,747
loved your mom's thesis.
400
00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,449
Really? Cool.
401
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,284
Yeah, sure. It's cool for her.
402
00:21:27,353 --> 00:21:29,593
When's the last time I
ever got a compliment?
403
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,656
People mock me
day in and day out.
404
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:35,826
They call me a mama's boy.
What kind of future do I have?
405
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:37,260
I don't know.
406
00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:38,796
How good do you look in flannel?
407
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:47,304
Which one of you women
wants to arm-wrestle? Come on.
408
00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:51,375
I can take you.
Excuse me. Hey there.
409
00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:07,825
Okay, I'll see you
at home. I love you.
410
00:22:07,893 --> 00:22:11,028
Great news. Your dad, the, uh...
410
00:22:12,305 --> 00:23:12,633
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