1
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,741
Hello. And a big Binford welcome
back to Binford's Tool Time.
2
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,888
You may have noticed a
little change in the set here.
3
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:15,214
Well, Binford has to put its
name on practically everything.
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00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:21,264
Well, today we're going to
show you how the experts work
5
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:23,755
with the world's hardest
stone, a diamond.
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00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:25,335
That's right. In case
you just joined us,
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00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,103
all the way from South
Africa, we have a guest,
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00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:28,571
expert diamond-cutter... Hi.
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00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,295
Dirk Brodsky. Hi.
10
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,630
Dirk comes from a long
line of diamond-cutters.
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00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,411
Oh, yeah. That's right. In fact,
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I've brought some diamonds
cut by my great-grandfather.
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We're looking forward to
seeing your family jewels.
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Humor is such a
tricky thing, isn't it?
15
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:51,083
All right, well, why
don't we show you
16
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:54,286
how diamonds are honed
using these machines?
17
00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:56,499
All right. We'll start off with
this little saw. What is this for?
18
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:58,556
Uh, this is a rotary
diamond saw.
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00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:01,794
We cut away the unusable
part of our rough diamond
20
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,496
and it gives us
perfect cleavage.
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00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:10,636
And we all know how
important perfect cleavage is.
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00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,137
Very tricky.
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00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,752
Over here, this is
the brooding machine.
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00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:18,811
Brooding. Does it come
with a self-pity attachment?
25
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,413
No.
26
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:25,494
Now, with this machine we shape
the outermost edge of the diamond
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which is known as the girdle.
Now, it's critical to keep your diamond
28
00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:33,624
at a correct angle in
order to avoid girdle stress.
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Something Al's mom
knows a lot about.
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Persistence. Now, over
here, this is the polisher.
31
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:45,603
Um, Lou here is shaping and
polishing the facets of the diamond
32
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:47,138
using this spinning wheel.
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00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:49,774
All right. How long does
the whole process take?
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00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:52,410
With jokes like yours,
it could take years.
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00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:56,548
But usually about
three days. Um...
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00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,817
Lou? Thanks very
much. Once he's dipped it
37
00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:00,719
in the hydrochloric-acid bath,
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00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:03,288
it'll end up looking
something like this.
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A beautiful stone,
perfectly flawless
40
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,826
and needless to say, priceless.
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Let's take a look at that thing.
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00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,474
(WHISTLES) Yes, well...
43
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:13,309
Beautiful, isn't it? Yeah.
44
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,177
Look at that, folks. It's got a little
burr on there. Why don't I just...
45
00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:16,312
What? ...take that
right off the side?
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No!
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Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
48
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Lovely setting.
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Thank you.
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Hi, sexy. Great show.
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Thank you.
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00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:34,312
Hi! Are we still on for
hibachi night at your place?
53
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:38,049
You betcha! I picked up the
hamburger meat. You just bring the buns.
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00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:39,118
(EXCLAIMS)
55
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:42,164
Come on. Let me
walk you to your car.
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Okay. See you, guys.
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TRUDY: Bye.
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00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:46,791
Good afternoon, Tim.
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00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:49,672
Bud, we're gonna have to talk about
these changes you're making on the show.
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00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:54,766
Hey, Tool Man! Beautiful
show. Loving it. Loving you.
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00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,068
Well, why don't you
love me from over there?
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00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,705
And tell me who
the hell you are.
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00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:04,042
Tim, this is the man I've chosen
to, uh, supervise Tool Time,
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00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:07,980
Binford's new VP of Media
Production, Morgan Wandell.
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00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:11,449
And you don't have to call me
Mr. Wandell. You call me Morgan.
66
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:14,252
Or I may go with something else.
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00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:18,423
Well, I have an extensive background
in entertainment and reality television.
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00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,992
I'm particularly proud
of my last special.
69
00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:23,661
Topless Cops on
Ice. Oh, that was...
70
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,441
And we feel that the
stuff you do on Tool Time
71
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:26,609
could be in that same league.
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00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:28,200
Really? Uh-huh.
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00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,788
See, Morgan feels all your show
needs is explosion consistency.
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00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,651
What? He wants you
to blow up more stuff.
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00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,708
Right.
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00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:40,278
Whether it's an
accident or, uh, not.
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00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:44,616
No, no. No. I'm not gonna
stage explosions on Tool Time.
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00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:47,497
I'm proud of the fact all
the accidents on this show
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00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:50,921
are a result of my
legitimately stupid mistakes.
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00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,326
What are you working on?
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00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:55,938
Oh, it's just an application
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00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,840
for a counseling
job in Dearborn.
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00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,910
I might go for the PhD. But I
want to keep my options open.
84
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:03,012
Yeah, that's a good idea. I
mean, the last thing you want to do
85
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:06,004
is narrow yourself down
in your golden years.
86
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:09,875
I'm gonna pretend
I didn't hear that.
87
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,677
And yet very soon you
won't have to pretend.
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00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:16,793
Hi, guys. MARK: What's up, Dad?
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00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:17,857
JILL: Hi.
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00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,117
Horrible day today.
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00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:20,930
Really? What happened?
92
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:25,590
Get this. Bud's handed Tool Time
over to some hotshot young producer
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00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,426
who wants me to
stage explosions.
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00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,562
He wants more
danger on Tool Time.
95
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:33,999
More danger?
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00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:37,602
You already have higher insurance
rates than the Knievel family.
97
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:42,607
Morgan Wandell. The guy's
been on the set... What?
98
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,743
One day. And
everybody's miserable.
99
00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:46,845
Everybody is miserable.
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00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:50,882
Hey, guys! I am
walking on sunshine!
101
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:02,026
I guess he's
crying on the inside.
102
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,464
Crying? I am flying! I have
decided the time is right
103
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,510
to ask Trudy for her
hand in marriage.
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00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:11,837
Get out! Hey! Congratulations.
Oh, my God! That's so great!
105
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,872
Yeah.
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00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:17,075
That's right. After I walked
Trudy to her car, I ran into Dirk.
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00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:19,344
And he sold me
one of his diamonds.
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00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:20,523
(GASPS) Ooh!
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00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:23,181
Al, this is so beautiful.
110
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,784
Yes, it is! I really
love the cleavage.
111
00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:31,856
Oh. Well, thank you.
But, gosh! It's so pretty.
112
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:36,160
Everything will become official after
this wonderful dinner I have arranged.
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00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,807
TIM: Ooh. Oh,
that's so romantic.
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00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,130
Trudy's going to love that.
115
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,566
Actually, Trudy won't be there.
116
00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:45,636
I'm taking Mother out to dinner
to break the news to her first.
117
00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:47,839
Oh, well, that's a way to go.
118
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,808
And let me guess
119
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:51,654
where you're taking her. Sven's
All-You-Can-Eat Smorgasbord.
120
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,778
No. As luck would have it...
121
00:06:53,846 --> 00:06:57,115
You know they went bankrupt
shortly after our last visit?
122
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,063
You know, I do remember seeing
123
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,931
a white flag in
their window, yeah.
124
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:05,457
Yeah. So, I'm taking her to
Sorrentino's, Saturday night.
125
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:06,703
We're gonna be
there Saturday night.
126
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,404
Really? Yeah.
127
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,372
Hey, I got it. After you tell your
mom, let me know. We'll come over
128
00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:12,508
and get a little bottle of champagne
and we'll celebrate with you.
129
00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,711
Oh, that would be great.
I could use the support.
130
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:17,046
I'm very nervous about
how she's going to react.
131
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,082
Oh, don't worry.
It's gonna be fine.
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00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:23,074
I hope so. I can't believe
I'm gonna pop the question!
133
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,288
Ah, it's a big day in a
man's life. It really is.
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00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,856
It sure is. Yeah.
135
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,224
Do you remember when
you asked your mother
136
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,529
for permission to get married?
137
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,887
I wonder if Al and
his mom are here yet.
138
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:45,096
I'm guessing yes.
139
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,998
Hey, Al. Hi, Alma.
140
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,737
Good evening.
141
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,940
Antonio. What are you doing
here? I thought you were working
142
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,242
at that French restaurant.
143
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:58,743
I was traded for a chef
144
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,079
and a waiter to be named later.
145
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,659
I am so happy to see you.
146
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,516
Really?
147
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:09,221
No. I'm practicing false sincerity so
the Borland party will give me a big tip.
148
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,490
Well, we're gonna
need a few minutes here.
149
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:14,804
Just some bread
and water to start.
150
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,561
How tantalizing!
151
00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:23,334
My God! Is that Gwyneth Paltrow?
152
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:28,906
No, Antonio! That's
still my mother.
153
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:33,043
I've never seen him so nervous.
154
00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:36,013
Not since we did
our salute to propane.
155
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:40,184
Ooh. I think he's
gonna tell her now.
156
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,752
I see the ring coming out.
157
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,888
Mother, I have some great news.
158
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,990
I've decided to
make Trudy my bride.
159
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,259
(WOMAN GROANING)
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00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,568
(THUDDING)
161
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:52,596
AL: Oh, my God!
162
00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:55,066
(AL STAMMERING)
163
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,469
Somebody call a paramedic!
164
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:13,184
I'm so sorry, Al.
165
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,452
So am I.
166
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:19,190
I can't believe I
killed my mother!
167
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,393
(GRUNTS)
168
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:24,795
This was a terrible tragedy.
But you had nothing to do with it.
169
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:28,011
Well, she died because she was
distraught over my getting married.
170
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:30,535
No! You don't know that.
171
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,815
It could've been all the
excitement at dinner.
172
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:36,274
Look, let's be honest. Your mother
was not in the best physical condition.
173
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:39,210
The doctor said that she was a
prime candidate for a heart attack.
174
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,290
And I pushed her
over the edge. No.
175
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,792
You're being way too hard on
yourself, Al. This is not your fault.
176
00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:48,153
And think of it this way. Your mom
went the way she would want to go.
177
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,661
She was dining
in a fine restaurant.
178
00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:56,194
Surrounded by her
favorite side dishes.
179
00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:00,665
And now she's at that
big buffet in the sky.
180
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:03,234
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
181
00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,904
I just can't believe she's gone.
182
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,008
No more do-si-doing
at the seniors' center.
183
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,413
No more harmonizing with Don Ho.
184
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,917
Oh, honey.
185
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:21,086
Come on, buddy.
186
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:22,231
You'll get through this.
187
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,933
We'll be there for you, buddy.
188
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:27,925
I'm so glad you decided
to stay with us tonight.
189
00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:30,462
Would you like me to
make you a nice cup of tea?
190
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:32,029
Yes, I would. Okay.
191
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,742
I can grill up some bratwurst.
192
00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:35,300
That would be nice.
193
00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:39,182
And about work,
Al, you can take off
194
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:41,284
all the time you
need. Okay, buddy?
195
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,985
And if you need any help
with the arrangements,
196
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,142
we'll be glad to pitch in.
197
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,577
Oh, thank you.
198
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,146
Gosh, there are so many details!
199
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:50,648
I have to notify the
rest of the family.
200
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:52,528
I have to find a minister.
201
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:55,853
Oh, gosh! I have to
buy Mother a burial plot.
202
00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:57,855
That could get pricey.
203
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:03,072
Thanks for filling
in for Al, Heidi.
204
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:04,862
Oh, sure. Anything to help.
205
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,910
But, you know, I'm a little nervous.
You and Al work so well off each other.
206
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:09,645
Oh, come on. You're
gonna do just fine.
207
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,280
Hey, tell you what.
Do you have any quirks
208
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:14,606
or physical abnormalities
I can make fun of?
209
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,107
Uh...
210
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:19,477
Yeah. I twitch
when I get nervous.
211
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:20,786
Your eye or something?
212
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:21,946
Not exactly.
213
00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:38,194
I don't know if I
can work with that.
214
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,242
Hi, guys. Hey.
215
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,944
Al, I thought you were
taking some time off.
216
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:43,367
Well, I thought it would be good
217
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,180
to keep my mind busy
with work right now.
218
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:50,008
That's a good idea. God,
this must be so hard for you!
219
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:52,610
I've gotta get ready
for my new intro. Okay?
220
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,126
Hi, Trudy. Hi.
221
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,394
What are you doing here?
222
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,329
I just wanted to make
sure you were okay.
223
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:03,421
I haven't seen or heard from
you since your mother died.
224
00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,467
Well, I've been taking
care of business.
225
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,102
You know, a lot
of things going on.
226
00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:08,827
I figured that.
227
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,762
Lookit, I made you
a shepherd's pie.
228
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:13,531
Just the way you like
it, with double meat.
229
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:14,999
Thanks.
230
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,312
I'll leave you guys alone.
231
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,903
No, no. That's all right.
232
00:12:18,971 --> 00:12:21,539
We really gotta get
ready for the show.
233
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:24,275
Okay. I guess I'll see you soon.
234
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,476
Thanks.
235
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:26,744
Bye, Trudy.
236
00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:32,361
It's pretty nice of her to
come down here and bake you
237
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:35,420
a shepherd's pie
with double meat.
238
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:38,789
To be honest, I just wish
she'd kind of back off!
239
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:41,870
What are you talking about? A couple
days ago you wanted to propose to her.
240
00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:43,628
Well, that was two days ago.
241
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:45,574
What's happened?
242
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,165
Two days ago my
whole life changed!
243
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:50,279
Oh, come on, Al. I know
you feel like that now.
244
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,448
But you and Trudy
still love each other
245
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,672
and everything else is the same.
246
00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:58,142
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
247
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:04,382
Let's get ready to repair!
248
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:20,865
Oh, my God!
249
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:25,270
It looks like somebody
hand-polished a barn.
250
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:33,378
Well, that's an example of
something that you shouldn't say.
251
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,358
I'm glad you cleared
that up. Yeah.
252
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:38,816
Guys, take a seat. Let's
go pay our respects to Al.
253
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:44,054
Wow! Heidi seems really upset.
254
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:46,324
I think I should go comfort her.
255
00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:49,639
Oh, thank you, guys, for coming.
256
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,474
You remember my brother Cal.
257
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,442
Cal, sorry about
your mom. Thank you.
258
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,600
Hi, Cal. How are you?
259
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,402
I'm trying to be strong.
260
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:03,040
Well, you don't have to be. I
mean, a funeral is for grieving.
261
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,610
You're right.
262
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,960
I wish I was in
the casket with her.
263
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,850
You're a therapist, right?
264
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:14,385
Hi, Al.
265
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:17,888
Uh, hi, Trudy.
266
00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:22,427
It's quite a turnout. Your mother
was obviously loved by a lot of people.
267
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:23,828
(SIGHS)
268
00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:28,399
Thanks. Uh, boy, I really
need to say hi to Aunt Martha.
269
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:31,347
I don't know what to do.
270
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,548
I want to support Al.
271
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,072
But he keeps pushing me away.
272
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,243
Well, uh, maybe he
just needs some space.
273
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,512
Maybe.
274
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,715
I should go pay my respects.
275
00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:48,219
What's going on?
276
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:50,455
It's pretty obvious.
277
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,601
Al associates Trudy
with his mom's death
278
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:56,094
so he's pushing her away
emotionally and physically.
279
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,162
Wow!
280
00:15:00,699 --> 00:15:02,177
How'd you come up with that one?
281
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:03,961
Al told me. Oh.
282
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,917
Hey, guys. Hey, Benny.
283
00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:09,973
Oh, hey, Benny.
284
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,143
What a solemn occasion. I know.
285
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:13,310
Jujube?
286
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:18,049
Benny, don't you think
it's a little inappropriate
287
00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:21,252
to be passing out
snacks at a funeral?
288
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,755
You're right. I'm a bad boy.
289
00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:31,995
You know, honey, you are
ruining this funeral for everybody.
290
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:37,501
I'm glad Al got
you to officiate.
291
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:41,505
Well, it's my honor
to do it, neighbor.
292
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:45,776
Of course I haven't done a funeral
since my last ceremony in Pago Pago.
293
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:47,377
Tim, if you'll excuse me,
294
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:50,759
I have to make a few
adjustments on this service.
295
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:54,652
Substitute "Heavenly
Father" for "Lizard King."
296
00:15:56,956 --> 00:16:01,726
I was just thinking about my mother,
all the great times we used to have.
297
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:06,263
When I was a kid, she
used to take us to the park.
298
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:10,568
We'd fly kites, she'd
push us on the swing.
299
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:13,304
We'd spend hours
on the teeter-totter.
300
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:15,317
I used to love
the teeter-totter.
301
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:18,242
Up and down. Up and down.
302
00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:21,246
Down?
303
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:32,390
Well, they play it differently
in different parts of the country.
304
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:36,127
I just, uh, can't
believe she's gone.
305
00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:38,329
I'm so alone.
306
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,109
You're not alone.
You're not alone.
307
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:41,765
You got me, buddy.
308
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,079
I know. You got your
friends, your family,
309
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:47,343
you know? And Trudy,
who really, really loves you.
310
00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:51,909
And I really love her. But I...
311
00:16:51,977 --> 00:16:55,079
I don't think my mother really
wanted me to marry Trudy.
312
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,480
Did she say that?
313
00:16:56,549 --> 00:17:00,984
No. But I think actions
speak louder than words!
314
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:03,232
Al, I don't think that's what
she meant. You can't re-live...
315
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,767
WILSON: If everybody
would take their seats,
316
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:07,125
the service is about to begin.
317
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,238
Let's talk about
this later, okay?
318
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:12,096
WILSON: Ladies and
gentlemen, we are here
319
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:15,766
to celebrate the
life of Alma Borland.
320
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:20,071
A warm, loving woman who
raised two exceptional sons,
321
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,840
Cal and Al.
322
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:26,544
Her youngest, Al, would
now like to say a few words.
323
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,991
My mother was a great lady.
324
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,695
I'm sorry!
325
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,933
Cal, would you
like to say anything?
326
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:52,035
I did... Until I talked to Jill.
327
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:02,479
Would anyone else like to
say a few words to honor Alma?
328
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,988
I'd like to say something.
329
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,029
Uh...
330
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:21,077
This is hard for me because
as most of you know,
331
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:25,936
I've spent a lot of years
making fun of Alma on Tool Time.
332
00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:29,640
But what you probably
don't know is that she was...
333
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:33,677
And there's no delicate way to
say this, but she was a huge fan.
334
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:42,220
She had a great sense of
humor and a great spirit about her.
335
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:46,256
Everywhere Alma went,
she left a big impression.
336
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,597
That was her favorite joke.
337
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,966
I owe a lot to that woman.
338
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,812
Without her, I would
never have had the privilege
339
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,303
of knowing my good friend Al.
340
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:04,742
And I know, Al, that your
mom would want you to share
341
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,945
the love that she gave
you with someone you love.
342
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:11,182
(GRUNTS)
343
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:15,019
I didn't mean me.
344
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,155
Thanks, Tim.
345
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:27,664
My mother was a great
woman. She was my friend,
346
00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:30,968
my supporter,
347
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:35,072
my teacher. And Tim's right.
348
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,209
She said that there's
nothing greater
349
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:41,279
than sharing your
love with someone else.
350
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:45,582
And, well, there was something
I was going to do the other night.
351
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:49,220
And I don't think there's
any reason for putting it off.
352
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:54,225
Trudy, will you marry me?
353
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,003
Perhaps I've put
you on the spot?
354
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:10,341
Of course I'll marry you, Al.
355
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:20,250
Al and Trudy, this is
indeed a joyous occasion.
356
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:25,122
Now, let us proceed
to the grave site.
357
00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:30,695
Will the following pallbearers
please take their places?
358
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:33,030
Al, Cal,
359
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:35,600
Tim, Brad, Mark,
360
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:37,935
Marty, Benny,
361
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:42,206
Patrick, Colin, Francis, Chris,
362
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:45,776
William, Brian, Jake,
363
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,312
Carson, Ted, Alonzo...
364
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:56,954
Hi, honey.
365
00:20:57,022 --> 00:21:00,091
Hi. How did the Tool Time
at the granite quarry go?
366
00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:02,259
It was great!
367
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:04,339
That new executive,
Morgan, didn't drive you nuts?
368
00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:08,665
No, no, no, no. Before we left I had
Heidi make up a special map for him.
369
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:11,502
He's halfway to
Amish country by now.
370
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:14,938
But Al did ask us
for a special favor.
371
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,407
Well, sure. Anything.
372
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:19,042
He wants to have the
wedding in our backyard.
373
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,412
What? Why would
he want to do that?
374
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,325
They want someplace
that's intimate.
375
00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:25,260
And they're comfortable with it.
376
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,162
And Trudy's house, that's
where she had her first wedding,
377
00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:29,986
there's bad memories
there. Oh. Oh.
378
00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:32,856
Well, why don't they
have it in Al's backyard?
379
00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:36,525
Because the landlord keeps a
whole bunch of car parts back there.
380
00:21:37,863 --> 00:21:39,830
You're the landlord.
381
00:21:43,336 --> 00:21:45,696
Do you want me to
bring that crap back here?
382
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:50,807
We have a beautiful
house for a wedding.
383
00:21:56,782 --> 00:22:00,384
Hello. And a big Binford welcome
back to Binford's Tool Time.
384
00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:03,020
You might notice there's a
few changes here in the set.
385
00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:04,521
Binford's puts its name...
386
00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:05,889
(STAMMERING)
387
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:09,726
Dirk comes from a long
line of diamond cutters.
388
00:22:09,795 --> 00:22:11,206
Oh, that's right. Yeah.
389
00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:14,564
In fact, I brought some diamonds
cut by my great-grandfather.
390
00:22:14,633 --> 00:22:17,968
Great. Maybe next we can
show the family, show the baby...
390
00:22:18,305 --> 00:23:18,552
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